#i have not been able to stop listening to their new album since it came out

[beyondplusultra]

all this effort to make it look effortless

[magics-neptunes-things]

The One Who Get Away

Hi guys!

This one come just from my imagination, I can't stop listening this cover of Katy Perry's song so... Here it is! Hope you'll like it :)

I put the version of the song I'm talking about under this text, please listen to it while listening :)

TW : Break up, angst, pressure.

Summary : Your a singer travelling the world with your group but the distance is too hard for you and your (ex) girlfriend. Will you find a way to make her stay?

PART 2 IS HERE

______________________________________________________________

"I just can't do that anymore"

Ona's voice, coming from your phone make your heart go heavier. You know how she feels about you always being away from your shared penthouse at Barcelona. Well actually you are away from Spain, and today even from Europe.

It’s been three years since your record company managed to place a Spanish band in the international market. Yours. So, now that it’s launched and that it’s been months that you are at the top of the charts, no one hesitates to make you travel to all the countries of the world, without stopping.

It’s been three years since you and your band arrived here by chance, when one of your single ended up on a summer hit. Since then, it has never stopped. In three years you have released two albums and you have made three world tours. You’re exhausted, physically and emotionally. But you made the mistake of not reading carefully the clauses of your contract, too happy to be able to live your dream.

Well, the dream slowly turned into a nightmare. Away from Ona for months now, you were supposed to return to Barcelona in two days to finally have a few weeks of rest. Except that your agent found it more interesting to impose televisions and various promotions in Japan, preventing you from returning from England where you currently are to Ona.

Yet, it was what you expected the most since the day you left her at the airport.

"I’m sorry" you whisper, feeling your throat squeeze. "I can always…"

"No, Y/N. I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t. There are no more ways out"

"What do you mean?"

You know what she means and you’ve been terrified of hearing that sentence for weeks. You’ve known Ona since you were a teenager, one night when you felt lonely and couldn’t sleep, you came across her blog. You don’t know what prompted you to write a comment to which she replied and you started chatting like that. Realizing that you were both from Barcelona, you met and the rest is history.

"I think we need to break up"

"No! Ona please we can work through this. Please. I need you, I can't lose you."

"It's better this way. I'm so sorry"

You don’t think you heard Ona’s voice shake in this way before and you are convinced that she is crying, too.

"Onita please… don’t do this"

"I’m sorry. I have no choice"

"Why? Did you… Did you met someone else?"

Ona has a sad laugh and you can perfectly picture her shaking her head sadly.

"Of course not. It has nothing to do with that. But it’s getting worse every time. It’s been going on for three years."

"It’s not my fault" you whisper softly.

"I know"

A new silence sets in and you hope that your girlfriend is thinking and changing her mind. You know you wouldn’t stand a breakup with her. Ona has been your lighthouse in the dark forever. She’s the most important person in your life.

"I have to go, the team is waiting for me. I think it’s better if we don’t write or call each other for a while."

"Ona wait…"

"No, Y/N. It’s over"

"I love you"

Ona doesn’t answer you, but the breath you hear on the phone confirms that she’s crying. She hangs up after a few seconds and you remain motionless for long minutes, stunned. You are dress for your next performance, your presence on stage being required in about twenty minutes. Fortunately your mascara is waterproof and it’s not necessary to redo it when your friend and guitarist enters the room.

"Y/N?"

"Ona just broke up with me" you say, looking at him through the mirror.

And with that, the sobs that were until now stuck in your throat suddenly come out. In a few seconds you find yourself transformed into a crying mess, hugged by Juan. He’s your best friend, even if your fans imagine you together. The record company has forbidden you to reveal your homosexuality and has fun supporting the rumors of romance between you two, claiming that it helps the group’s popularity.

"I’m so tired. I just want to go home" you manage to say in between sobs.

Said house being mostly Ona. Making a grimace, Juan caresses your hair. You are not the only one to be exhausted by the frantic pace imposed by your record company. Juan, your drummer Marco and your bass player Ricardo are just as exhausted as you.

"I know" is all he can tell you before someone of the staff come looking for you.

Your manager looks at you coldly seeing the state in which you are and hands you a tissue for you to arrange the draws. He doesn’t ask you what’s going on. He doesn’t care. You just know that if you don’t perform properly, you’re going to get yelled at.

******

"Are you sure you want to watch this? We can switch channels if you want" Cata kindly assures while looking carefully at Ona.

The brunette shakes her head negatively, stuck against Alexia who passed a protective arm around her. Ona was unable to hide your breakup from her teammates, she’s just as devastated as you are. They had planned an evening to watch the charity concert that you and your group are attending, installed in Lucy’s apartment.

After exchanging a look between them, they finally decided to leave the same channel, the artists walking one after the other. Since this is a charity concert, you had the opportunity to cover a song by one of the featured artists. Your group choose a song by Katy Perry, "The One who get away", a slower version than the original. If you had known, you would have made another choice.

After avoiding a nervous breakdown, you go sit on the stool in the middle of the stage. Juan at your side, you wait for his guitar to be tuned.

"She doesn’t look like she’s ok" Aitana begins, before being immediately shuts up when she meets Mapi’s murderous gaze.

Feeling Ona tense against her, Alexia gently tightens her against her as Ingrid starts to stroke her hair. At the same time, the song starts and you wonder how you are going to finish it. Your hands are shaking, your throat is clenched and you have trouble looking up at the crowd in front of you.

From the end of the first chorus, you have tears in your eyes and at the end of the second you feel a tear roll on your cheek. Despite Juan’s whispers of encouragement, you’re unable to hold her any longer. When the song finally comes to an end, you have the impression that every person who has looked at you has been able to read into you and realize how destroyed you are. And you hate it.

After greeting the audience with the three boys, you let yourself be taken backstage by Ricardo. Juan tries not to make too friendly gestures towards you in public, knowing how much it hurts you and Ona to see everyone jump on these kinds of moments to support their theory.

********

The ride back to your hotel room was awful. All along the way in the van, your manager yelled at you so much that for the first time the boys rebelled against him. It surprised you but also made you very feel loved and cared. They’re the reason you haven’t dumped everything yet, you don’t have the courage to betray them by leaving. If you had been alone, it would have been different. But they are your childhood friends, more like brothers.

You haven’t looked at your phone once since you got back to your room an hour ago when someone knocked on your door. You know Ona won’t contact you. You have no interest in looking at it. You don’t answer when you hear a knock a second time, then a third time. And you don’t move either when the door of your room opens anyway a few minutes later. Juan went to ask for a copy of your magnetic card at reception, not hearing you open.

"We need to talk Y/N."

"Don’t want to" is the only sentence you manage to get out of your mouth.

Rolled up in a ball under your sheets, your cushion tight between your arms and your head resting on the plush lion that Ona offered you years ago, you only want to stay here until the end of time.

"We talked, with the guys," said Juan, regardless of what you just said. "We think you have to go."

You need a few seconds to realize what he just said.

"What?"

"I booked you a plane to Barcelona. You have six hours to pack and go to the airport. Marco takes charge of the manager and Ricardo makes sure the way is clear, but you’ll have to go out from this shit. You and Ona are more important than all this bullshit. Go take your girl back."

********

It is 7am when you land in Barcelona and 8am when you arrive on the doormat of your shared penthouse. You don’t have the key, usually Ona picks you up at the airport and opens you. You didn’t think about it until now. You’re too afraid to lose them somewhere in a hotel room on the other side of the world. But despite your doorbells, no one comes to open.

So you resolve to sit on your doormat and wait for Ona’s return. Your phone is out of battery, preventing you from contacting someone close to your girlfriend. You don’t know where she is and it awakens your fear that she actually found someone else. If that’s what pushed her to break up with you, it will be even harder to fix things.

Exhausted, you let yourself go against the door frame, your feet leaning on the other side. New tears roll over your cheeks and you are so tired that you start to doze.

"Y/N?"

Ona’s incredulous voice wakes you with a start and you bang your head against the handle of the front door while getting up. Your face fell when you realize that Ona is accompanied by a pretty brunette, who looks at you with curiosity. Is she the one she left you for? Why is she here? It lasts a few seconds, until Alexia comes out of the elevator too. Mechanically massaging the part of the skull you just banged, you continue to observe the unknown.

"What are you doing here?"

Ona's question makes you shift your attention to her and you cannot say why, but you cannot gather your ideas. Yet her tone is neither harsh nor accusing, quite the contrary.

"I…"

Reacting first, Alexia slips between Ona and you by seizing the keys Ona was holding and opens the door, making enter everyone. Seeing you struggling to get your suitcases, Ona bends down mechanically to help you get everything in.

"You never met my girlfriend, I think?" Alexia looks at you, maybe realizing what’s happening in your head. "This is Olga. Olga, this is Y/N."

You simply acquiesce but Olga hug you with a smile and you hug her back akwardly, the relief making you feel like you're hovering a thousand meters from the ground. Ona hasn’t met someone else. Just like she said.

"I think we’re going to leave you. Are you going to be okay?"

The look that Ona and Alexia exchange lasts a few seconds, before the captain decides that she can actually leave you both. She hugs you too before delicately closing the door behind Olga and her.

"You look exausted. Maybe you should go take a nice hot shower?"

You carry your eyes with heavy eyelids over Ona, shaking your head negatively. You honestly don’t know how long you will endure this sleepless journey, but you also don't know how long you will be able to stay with Ona. She can leave at any time.

"Come sit down, at least"

You feel a heat wave invading your body at the exact spot where Ona puts her hand on your arm to train you in the living room. You let yourself go on the couch, Ona settling next to you.

"You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here?"

"I left" you just whisper. "The boys helped me get out of the hotel and to the airport. Juan booked me a plane and I called my manager to tell him that I was leaving once on the plane. I was too afraid that he would hold me back"

"Wait, when you say you left…"

"I… quit? Broke the contract, call it what you want"

Ona looks at you with disbelief. She never gave you an ultimatum about your career, because she knew you had no choice.

"I should have done this before. But I couldn’t betray the boys" you whisper without being able to look at her.

A new silence settles and you end up lifting your eyes on Ona. She was looking at you attentively and you plunge your gaze into hers for a few seconds.

"I came to ask you for a second chance. I know things have been super complicated between us, especially these past few weeks. But I can’t live without you, Ona. I’ll do anything. I swear."

Ona’s face softens. Your eyes close when you feel her hand on your cheek, your whole body in search of any source of comfort from her. She stroke your cheek with her thumps, making you shivers.

"Do you know why I never asked you to choose between music and me?"

Without opening your eyes, you shake your head negatively. Ona’s voice is soft and helps you to calm down a little.

"Because I know how much you like it"

"I love you more"

You open your eyes even though your whole body is asking you not to. You’re exhausted and wondering what you might look like. Ona certainly saw you in a better light. She continues to look at you elsewhere, a few seconds of silence settling between you.

"I love you too" she ended up whispering. "But we’ll finish this conversation later, I think you need to sleep before you lose consciousness."

Without really giving you a choice, she gets up from the couch and makes you follow her, gently grabbing your hand. You let yourself be guided to your room, in which she helps you put on pajamas before letting you go to cool off in your bathroom. You don’t leave her figure with your eyes, even through the mirror while washing your teeth, fearing that she will disappear. But no, she waits patiently for you, sitting at the feet of your bed.

"Will you be there when I wake up?" you ask in a hesitant tone, finding the inimitable comfort of your bed.

Ona nods and even smiles as you slip under the sheets. Installed on your side, you can’t bring yourself to leave her eyes. That she still agrees to stay by your side despite everything makes you as happy as it terrifies you. She broke up with you less than 24 hours ago and didn’t really confirm to you that something was still possible between you. She said she loves you, but is that enough?

"I can hear you thinking from here"

With an arched eyebrow, Ona observes you with a semblance of severity.

"I’m just scared" you mumble without taking your eyes off her.

"Of what?"

"Losing you forever. You’re the most important thing in my life, I shouldn’t have waited until I lost you to fix things. You deserve the best, of course, but give me time to show you that I can offer it to you."

Softly biting her lip, Ona advances into the bed until she finds herself sitting on her knees, at the height of your chest.

"I’m not going anywhere Bebita"

"Does that mean you believe enough in us to give us another chance?"

As before, Ona’s face softens and is soon dress with one of her most beautiful smiles. You wrote in one of your song that only one of her smiles makes you feel better and that’s still the case today.

"I thought it was clear. Of course I want to give us a second chance."

You’re so relieved you might cry. In truth, real tears cost on your cheeks and you realize that when Ona leans over your cheeks to kiss them.

"Don’t cry. Rest. I’ll be there when you wake up later, and every other day."

As if to support her words, Ona slips with you under the cover and sticks you against her, in her arms. It doesn’t take long for you to fall into a deep sleep, lulled by her caresses on your back, the softness of her hair that sometimes tickles your cheek and the smell of her perfume and shower gel.

*********

When you wake up, hours later, you need some time to understand where you are. Only after that you realize that Ona isn’t here and you panic.

You stand from your bed so quickly that you fell, making a terrible noise. While you stand up, you here footsteps coming to you and you raise your head just in time to see Ona enter your bedroom.

"What happened?" she asks you, taking your hand in hers.

"You weren’t here, I thought you left" you mumble while looking at your feet.

But Ona make you look at her, tilting your face with her index.

"I’m here. I’m not going an where, I promised"

You nod, taking your phone on the floor. You have hundred missed call, messages and notifications everywhere.

"I made pasta, are you hungry?"

In reality you are not at all, but Ona took the time to prepare you to eat and you don’t want to disappoint her at all. Or give her the impression that she wasted her time. So you nod again before following her to the kitchen. You sit where she asks you to, wincing when you see the different messages from your manager. He’s really not happy. In truth, he is even completely furious. "Is everything all right?" asked Ona as she sat down in front of you, serving you a plate that would be enough to feed your entire neighborhood. "I’m in trouble" you sigh softly as you let yourself go against the backrest of your chair. "They will surely seek to press charges or make me pay" It will not be easy. Your gaze is lost on the bay window of your living room, giving a breathtaking view of the Mediterranean Sea. It’s partly thanks to this incredible view that you decided to choose this apartment. But you are quickly pulled out of your thoughts by the hand of Ona which lands on yours. "It doesn’t matter mi Corazon. Remember? We don’t care about others... "As long as it's You and Me" you answer with a slight smile. That was your credo when you were both teenagers. And when you grew up it stayed, even if lately the geographical distance took precedence over the rest. Now that you have her in front of you, you wonder how you managed to stay so long away from her. "We’ll find you the best lawyer and I’ll be there every second you need me." "Thank you" you answer simply, throat knotted with emotions Ona smiles tenderly and you feel your heart soaring like a butterfly. You find it hard to believe the reality in which you find yourself. Last night, Ona told you she wanted to break up with you and less than twenty-four hours later, you find yourself in front of her, in your apartment, apparently free of any contract.

"Can I kiss you?" you mumble shyly.

"Since when do you have to ask?" Ona laughs.

You shrug and smile too, inviting her to come to sit on your lap. Ona did and you pass your hand around her smaller frame.

Ona gently puts her hand in your hair, making you shiver.

"What do you want to do now?" Ona ask gently.

"Come see you play at the stadium, eat tortilla de patatas, go to the beach… Catch up on my sleep, if possible with the most beautiful woman in the world next to me."

"Did you already call her?" jokes the Spanish.

You roll your eyes before giving her a little kick on the thigh.

"As if you didn’t know it was you" you snorts before gently kissing her cheek.

"You missed."

Ona’s amused smile makes you smile back and you put your lips on hers this time. It’s a sensation you haven’t felt in far too long. Ona all against you, her skin against yours, her inimitable perfume. She is everything that count for you, well beyond your music group, your success and that we forgive you but obviously well above your fans.

"I’m so in love with you" Ona whispers against your lips.

"Certainly not as much as I am" you answer with a smile.

As you predicted, the record company, your producer and even your manager will launch legal proceedings against you. But thanks to Alexia’s lawyer, you managed to get away with it without much damage. Honestly, you didn’t care about losing money, all you wanted was to be able to get your freedom back.

Like you, the boys came back to Barcelona after the group disbanded. They formed another one for a while, with another singer, but they finally turned the page, claiming it’s not the same without you. None of the three resent you and you still see them regularly.

A few months after you left the band, you came out on social media. Without giving all the details either, you and Ona have not made an official announcement for your couple. You attend almost all of Ona’s matches, sometimes making the trip abroad with her and the team. You post what you want to post on social networks, photos of your holidays, your moments spent with your friends or with Ona, obviously.

It’s fun to see people wondering about your relationship, but you appreciate that they do it with someone you really are. Which you’re extremely in love with and extremely proud of. Wag’s life suits you perfectly, especially when the woman you follow is as perfect as Ona.

[solarwynd]

It's funny how armys will say pjms are bad at streaming when the US, which is the country that gives Jimin the most amount of streams and is the most stable, is also the country that has the most amount of pjms. And the countries that are the least stable when it comes to streaming are SEA countries and they're the countries with the least amount of pjms (we all know those countries are mostly filled with taekookers, so not only are they not Jimin solos, they're not even Jimin biased). Those countries are the ones that can't seem to be able to stream for more than a day and are always giving the members these huge drops. Thailand and Vietnam alone are responsible for 64% of the 1.5m drop Running Wild just had today. And they're also the ones responsible for more than half of the big drop Who had recently, the drop that he's currently being dragged for. Nodoby is even surprised anymore, every single time there's a new release people dread the now infamous 'Thailand Second Day Drop'. Meanwhile the US, even when they decrease, never decrease this much. They don't even drop 500k let alone 1m the way Thailand does.

And armys can't even try to say that the US isn't basically pjm land because look at how much they have been complaining about US streams this year. Even armys, who normally act like solos don't even know what Spotify is, have started admitting US fans are mostly Jimin solos. And that's because it became too obvious to ignore. I mean, every member except for Yoongi (though the same thing would've likely happened to him) has released songs and albums this year, and every single one except for Jimin has failed to chart in the US (let's be honest and admit Neva Play charted because of Megan who is already popular in the US, if it was because of Namjoon CBTM and Lost would've charted too). Jimin charted more songs in the US than every member combined and multiple by 5. Streaming only for one member is the definition of solo, so what else are we supposed to call US fans if not Jimin solos?

Armys might wanna say it's gp and Who does have some gp (though more in the beginning) but we all know gp weren't the ones responsible for CTT, SGMB and Be Mine charting in the US. Neither did they all randomly decide to start listening to LC again right before it turned 1 year old and got 1b streams then continued to consistently stream it for 5 months straight only to suddenly stop the day before Who came out. That's very clearly fan behavior.

Most of Jimin's US streams are undeniably come from fans, but those fans can't be armys otherwise they would stream for the other members as well, so they have to be solo fans. In contrast, most of Jimin's SEA streams are coming from armys, which is made clear by the fact that, unlike the US, they stream for every member. Before the drop, Thailand gave Running Wild 1.5m streams, Vietnam gave it 500k and the US, which has a Spotify userbase that is 100x times (not exaggerating) bigger than Thailand's, couldn't even give it 300k.

So to recap, the country with the most amount of pjms is also the country that gives Jimin the most amount of streams and do that without dropping it all after one day. And the countries that have the least amount of pjms are the countries that are the messiest streamers, the ones that have given him 1m drops multiple times.

And I'm not trying to say that armys don't know how to stream at all, because they do, and they're even who a lot of pjms learned to stream from since most pjms are ex-armys. And SEA countries are a bit of an exception, most armys in other countries are more consistent. No, my point here is that this narrative of 'pjms suck at streaming' doesn't hold up when you start to actually look at the facts.

I believe the main issue here is that most armys don't thoroughly check pjms account so they depend on those few armys lurkers to tell them what pjms are like. The problem with that should be obvious: If your only source of information on a group of people is coming from someone who hates that group of people, then that information is mostly likely heavily biased and inaccurate.

Pjms are actually very good at streaming challenges. They've slow down now, but they used to often get 20k 30k and once even 60k (half from twitter, half from discord) streaming screenshots (also, as someone who has participated multiple times in these challenges I can confirm that the playlists provided by the accounts that made these challenges were all good and with no looping). But if you've seen armys streaming challenges for Jimin you would know that, unfortunately, they'll be luck to get even 1k. A similar thing can be said about voting. My timeline has been almost exclusively about voting for the past few weeks, it's honestly a little tiring and the same thing happened last year during TMA. With buying is the same thing. Armys were even making similar complaints to the US one about the UK because they were struggling to give other members a #1 on iTunes (including finally getting SNTY that #1 it's missing), all while Jimin got 7 #1s back to back in a few days because pjms decided to give a #1 to all the remixes of Who. And honestly, JiminFunds (who recently got suspended for no reason, though thankfully it's back) is one of, if not the best solo funding account. Actually, Jimin solos fanbases are all pretty competent and professional (Which cannot be said about JK's fanbases who keep unnecessarily shading Jimin. Honestly, what the hell is up with them? It's one thing for fans personal accounts to be messy, but fanbases?). Then there's the whole Deezer situation. When LC started getting all those records on Deezer armys straight up admited to not even knowing what Deezer was. They only found out about the whole thing when the Deezer official twitter account gave credit to pjms in a reply to a tweet congratulating Jimin for the records and armys got so angry they made Deezer delete their tweet. Also the reply got more interactions than the actual main tweet, which is just sad. But regardless of how much armys may hate pjms, credits should be where credits are due. This was a project made by pjms and armys where not even aware of it until after the goal was achieved. It's honestly embarrassing to try to claim credit for something you didn't even know was happening, let alone contribute anything towards. Also, a fun fact: BTS used to not have a Deezer fanbase, but one was created after this and then other members started charting on the platform, so armys can thank pjms for that.

Now, how much of what I just described in the last paragraph would an average army know about? And in comparison, how many times would they have seen a tweet complaining about pjms with a screenshot of a tweet with 50 likes from a pjm account with 100 followers? Do you see what I mean about information being heavily biased and inaccurate? And I'm not saying pjms have never done anything bad, but what I'm saying is that to try to paint pjms as exclusively bad people how never do anything thing good ever is just disingenuous. Every fandom has it's toxic fans, armys themselves being a prime example of that. Because while how bad armys are can be exaggerated, they didn't get their reputation as one of the most toxic fandoms for no reason. So I'm sorry, but complaining about another fandom being toxic and spending a lot of their time fighting is very rich coming from armys. Other k-pop fandoms also have this biased view of armys where they only see the bad and never acknowledge the good and I have seem many armys complain about this, but do they not realize they're doing the exact same thing to pjms?

And I know armys would say "How can you defend solos when they say bad things about the members?" and first of all, the same way that it's not all armys it's not all solos either (a good amount of pjms say nothing about the other members) and second, I have to say once again, this is rich coming from armys. They do understand that there's no difference between saying bad things about a BTS member and saying bad things about any other idol, right? Armys think there is a difference but that's just them being biased. The person you're fan of is not more deserving of basic respect just because they're the person you're a fan of. These idols are all just people doing their jobs and solos disrespecting the other members is just as bad as armys disrespecting other idols, which we all know they are very fond of doing.

And I know the next argument would be "It's worse because solos are saying bad things about people the guy they're a fan of is friends with", but unfortunately that argument doesn't work either because armys have never held back from doing the same thing. Despite what some armys like to say, the BTS members do in fact have other friends outside the group and a lot of those friends are other idols armys have never stopped themselves from talking shit about. Remember them dragging Taemin last year for allegedly coping Taehyung only for him to almost immediately after appear on Suchwita and remind everyone that him and Jimin are still friends. And speaking of Taehyung, if (and taekookers please calm down, this is a hypothetical situation) after the whole Paris situation Taehyung came and out of his own mouth admited that him and Jennie were dating and that he was very much in love with her, does anyone honesty think that would've stopped armys from saying disgusting things about her the moment it came time for their bi-weekly fight with blinks? And regardless of whether or not the members are friends with an idol, they would never approve of the things armys say about these idols on a daily basis. So what right do armys have to call solos bad when they're just as bad, if not worse due to sheer size?

And the final argument would be "The members don't want solo fans" but I'm afraid they've never actually said that. The closest thing they've said to that is that one time Taehyung said something along the lines of "Love all of us" but three things about that: One, he was saying that to armys (who by definition should love all members) not to any other fans they may have. Two, that was years ago before then were even considering putting the group in a hiatus and focusing on solo work. And three, that's Taehyung saying that, not Jimin. But you wanna know what Jimin himself has said? Then have this quote from the second Mini & Moni Music video where he's talking about MUSE: "I hope that ARMY really likes it and if other people enjoy listening to it I couldn't ask for more". That's the official subtitle but just for fun here's the Google translation for the original Korean: "I really hope ARMYs enjoy it the most, and if the public enjoys listening to it too, it would be even better". To Jimin people other than armys listening to his music would be even better than if it was just armys. Does that sound like someone who doesn't want any fans who aren't armys? Because it sure doesn't sound like it.

.🎯

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Hey there! I really like your Faust shorts. Usually I’m nervous about requesting stuff, but I wanted to ask. Do you think maybe you could do Bard and a younger fan reader who’s been helping out at helvete for a job? He calls her “little lady,” both because she’s younger and way shorter than him lol. Maybe some of her bullies come into the shop and start teasing her, but then scary tall lanky boy comes out with the scary dog energy and scars them off? And when he sees that she’s kinda upset still about what happens he offers to let her pick out the horror movie they’re gonna watch together. Just cute platonic stuff with a smug of a crush on readers side lol

My little Lady - Faust x fem!reader

warning : alcohol, cuddling, use of a knife and gun

Info : Hi hi thanks for the request anon don't be nervous the only bad thing that could happen is a ,,No". So have fun reading this and hope you and others likes it ;)

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Helvete was the place to go if you were looking for like-minded people, weirdos, crazy people, satanists or simply a distraction.

It was a store for freaks, for people who didn't want to belong in society and didn't do so. A store that was nevertheless a home for very specific people.

A home that became a place where all the freaks could meet to be just that. Freaks. It was the store where the little lady stayed, at least that's what Faust always called her.

The younger employee who initially only helped out at the weekend was now an employee and a member of the store. At first, the boys had almost laughed at her when she came in because of her size she almost seemed to still be at school.

Although this was not the case, it was an unusual view, but by the time she proved herself on the drums and especially in her knowledge of music, she had the respect of the group. Her knowledge went so far that she only had to hear one note to know which song and band it was.

A talent that the biggest of the group, Faust, found particularly amusing. When he wasn't asleep, at home or watching horror movies, he was always in the store and a friendship soon developed between the two of them.

What started with a ,,Here, let me help you" and him taking a box from her to put it on the highest shelf usually ended with an extended evening in the store where they both listened to their favorite music.

She gave him a new knife for his birthday and he gave her a pair of boots with heels. Heels that made her a little taller, but not quite enough to even come close to her.

But she loved these boots and wore them almost every day, even on the day the door to the store opened and a certain group came in. Great, she thought as she looked up from the box of new records.

It was the new print of the Venom album and many would be coming in tomorrow so she wanted to get everything ready. But when she saw exactly who was standing in the doorway, she had to stifle a frustrated cry.

,,Well, if it isn't the freak," she heard the leader of her "friends" say, and she hadn't been able to get rid of the three of them since she had left the church.

She had met the three of them at the church and when she started wearing a little more black, well, Satan always shows himself in the strangest places.

,,If you want to buy something, make it otherwise," she tried, trying to suppress the fear and discomfort in her voice. But as the three approached her, she slowly moved away, wanting to escape, wanting to stop being the victim.

,,Oh, we're buying... only the customer service isn't that good, is it, boys?" he asked and suddenly the other two began to take the records out of their packaging and smash them. Their pleas and screams to stop stopped as the oldest of the three approached them.

She pushed hard with her back against the corner and her fear showed when he slid his fingers to her earrings. ,,It would be a shame to lose it," he murmured and placed his fingers on the upturned cross earring. ,,Don't do that," she said, her voice brittle and full of fear that he would tear her earring off.

Tears formed in her eyes as she watched more records being destroyed, the pain in her ear intensifying. Before suddenly footsteps could be heard from the cellar.

They sounded heavy and the steps creaked under the older man. ,,If I were you, you go now!" he hissed and she saw the knife flash in his hand as he looked at the three of them from behind his hair. ,,And what if you don't?" one of the three asked and threw a record at the larger one.

But Faust caught it and threw it so precisely that the edge cut the little one. ,,I'm... bleeding," he said firmly and backed away slowly, while the other fled, cursing as Faust pointed the knife at him.

,,What, are you going to kill me?" the leader asked, letting go of the young woman and walking towards the taller one, who towered over him. But Faust just smirked before grabbing the smaller one by the collar and pulling him towards him.

The coldness of the knife lay against the younger man's throat. ,,Do you want to find out?" he asked and saw the fear slowly forming in his gaze as he tore himself away and ran out screaming.

Before the door closed and Faust instantly lost the creepy energy. But in all of this she felt the rapid beating of her heart, which she knew was not only due to her fear.

Perhaps she had developed a little crush on him in all this time. But above all, he had her gratitude. ,,Thank you... Faust," she said and threw her arms around him, hugging the taller one, who lifted her up with a smile and twirled around slightly.

,,Come on, little lady, pick a movie and I'll make some popcorn...no one should say you were afraid of them," he said with a grin and went into the professional kitchen before she settled into the beanbag and decided on Halloween.

Already feeling much more relaxed watching the beginning, she soon felt the bowl of popcorn in her lap. ,,I couldn't have made a better choice, little lady," he said, slapping her lightly on the arm before he took some popcorn and she leaned against him before they both enjoyed the movie together.

But inside they both knew that they would give their lives to the other. They would look out for each other...they always would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[huellitaa]

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

[dailyniallnews]

Interview with Niall Horan, ex frontman of One Direction

If the global success with One Direction is now far behind, the fortune that Niall Horan is enjoying as a solo artists is very current. His third album was just released. Emblematic title: The Show, and the show could not get better than this. Article by Leonardo Clausi

Precisely because this is the new age of anxiety (from the title of the poem by W. H. Auden The Age of Anxiety, 1947, and from Symphony n. 2 by Leonard Bernstein inspired by it, 1949), Public Health around the world should prescribe listening to Niall Horan. As anti-anxiety medicine, tonic for the psyche, emotionally restorative medicine. Really, who else in the modern soft rock world is as capable of tuning in for ten tracks on an equally balmy wavelength, without ever straying into drama or comedy, as Horan does on The Show, third album since he went solo after the dissolution of One Direction, the (boy)band who competed with the Beatles in music sales? Not even the much more wanted colleague Harry Styles, with his unapologetic Bowie-ism that annoyed Tony Visconti so much.

30-year-old Horan doesn't have the same ambitions. We could easily ask him to go and pick out our daughter from school because he is so.. fragrant? Since 2016 - without stopping except from when forced by the pandemic - he's been writing music and bringing it on tour. A constant motion of three albums, the feverish craftsmanship of a diligent entertainer devoted to the career that he was raised in thanks to the shortcut, sometimes a brutal one, with which talent shows have short-circuited the discography and industry of A&R (Artists and Repertoire). We intercept him as he drives, always busy as a bee. "I just came back from America yesterday. Today I am in Liverpool. It's constant travelling, I spend most of my time jetlagged". He is understandably satisfied with his latest discographic effort, which will become the center of the homonymous The Show Live on Tour, with the Italian stop on 21st March 2024 at the Mediolanum Forum in Milan: "I spent a lot of time writing and producing it during the pandemic and the year after. I’m happy, the response has been very, very interesting around the world". Not surprising, considering the melodic quality of the tracks, touched by the Californian light of the Laurel Canyon, with vocal harmonies reminiscent of the Beach Boys, and references to the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. "I trusted that I could write a song. I knew I had the ability to do it. I just needed to trust that I could get a guitar, or sit at a piano, and something good would come out of it. It's out, but you never know. I need to keep my head down, work hard and see".

The 70s were his first introduction to music through records (or vinyls, as hipsters say), which were floating around the house; the real love however started "when I realised how lucky I was to have grown up with music that stayed with me to this day. My parents had a large album collection. I still listen to a lot of them now. When I’m in the studio I often use analogue mixing desks, it’s an important part of the sound I’m looking for". Speaking of the search for the 'organic' sound that digital audio is not able to embody all the way, what does he think of artificial intelligence, now that creators in the entertainment industry are taking the streets as well to protest against forcibly becoming obsolete? "Artificial intelligence can really do a lot, but it can’t give you that feeling that I call the human touch. It couldn’t write 'Hey Jude' or any other masterpiece. Humans will always have the upper hand".

Horan's Irishness is a prominent element of his personality, that proud affability that made his country a cultural superpower despite its size. And that was worth the warm reception of none other than the POTUS, who is also a descendent of the Celtic diaspora. "For how small the nation is, the relevance we have worldwide is amazing. Only five million inhabitants, and yet our culture of drinking, night life, musical or literary traditions are known everywhere. It's something I always keep in mind and want to show off as much as possible. And yes, I was invited at Washington to meet Joe Biden". Understandably, the fact excites him: "It was crazy that someone from a small town like mine (Mullingar, northwest of Ireland, ed.) ended up playing for the President of the United States at the White House. I still can't believe it". Not to mention the fact that, from a particularly bigot and conservative society that it once was, Ireland is now one of the most advanced and liberal ones of the West. "I'm not sure how it happened, but I am very proud of it. It was great to see it become one of the first countries to have gay marriage, for example. And I’m proud that it’s acting as a catalyst for change in other countries".

And does he know U2, this compatriot up and coming group? Would he collaborate with them? "Some of my all time favourite songs are by U2, their shows are some of the best I’ve ever been to. It would be great to do something with them if they ever ask". Coming from one of the best selling bands meant that there was a challenging precedent to compete with. But Niall Horan is doing great. It's impossible to refrain from asking about a 1D reunion. "It’s a busy time for everyone, so no, not that I know of. We keep in touch but everyone’s doing their own thing. Louis is touring in America, Liam is working on his music, Harry’s busy on the biggest world tour... In fact, if you hear about a reunion, please let me know".

[rikastral]

1 Thing

Kurapika x Reader Hello, this is the first piece of fiction I've ever finished writing, it's rather short, but I hope you enjoy (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ This fic is based on 1 Thing by Amerie, so give it a listen (◡‿◡✿) If you have any comments as to how I can improve my writing, please do let me know Thank you for being here, and thank you to my best friend for proof-reading despite not being in the fandom ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ̀ˋ

Your cheeks slowly turned red as you remembered what had happened earlier. You fell face first into your pillow and let out a muffled scream. “Why is he so cute?!” you gushed as the memories from earlier flooded back into your brain. 

Kurapika had accompanied you earlier at the beach. Being a popular singer meant that you had to have security 24/7, and that was what he was - your personal bodyguard. Kurapika had only been working for you recently, as you did not feel the need to have a personal bodyguard until a few months ago when your new album picked up and you became an overnight sensation. 

You were softly humming as Kurapika and you walked side by side. “So”, you looked at him with a delicate smile plastered on your face, “do you like the beach?” Despite being together most of the time, you did not really know much about the blonde walking by your side. He turned to face you and tilted his head forward, his brows furrowing slightly, “It’s my first time visiting one,” he answered nonchalantly after a few seconds. 

His answer caught you off guard - you couldn’t believe that it was his first time at the beach. You wondered what kind of life he must have led to not be able to visit one of life’s wonders until now. “Well,” you grinned at him, “Let’s make your trip memorable!” You swiftly grabbed Kurapika’s wrist, not giving him time to act, and pulled him to shore just enough for both of your ankles to be submerged in the sea. “Isn’t it beautiful?” you asked, facing the sunset, then towards him.

Kurapika’s lips curled up to a soft smile as he looked towards sundown; he nodded, his usual gray eyes reflected the color of the sky which basked in hues of orange, pink and blue - he looked like an angel. You felt heat rising to your face as you gazed at him with awe. Since when was he this handsome?

Desperate to dissipate the feeling, you splashed water at Kurapika, breaking his concentration on the sunset and catching him off guard. “Miss [y/n],” he starts, but you did not let him finish his sentence, “This is the memorable part!” You continued to splash water at him, giggling, and before long he allowed himself to do the same. 

“He looked so angelic,” you recalled his face in the moment, hugging your pillow more tightly, wishing it was him. You had never seen Kurapika like that, and damn was his smile, laugh - it wasn’t just one thing, everything about him was simply charming. You fell back onto your pillow and swung your arms wildly. You couldn’t sleep, not when thoughts of Kurapika were plaguing your mind, so you decided to let your emotions do the talking instead.

Kurapika stood before [y/n]’s room. You had not stepped out of your music room since this morning, busy playing the piano. You had even locked the door, obviously not wanting to be disturbed. He assumed this was just your creative process, but for some reason, he could not help but get worried. He knocked softly, the sounds of the piano coming to a stop. The door opened, and your [e/c] hues peeked out, puffiness under your eyes as you had not slept at all. 

“Is there anything I can assist with, Miss [y/n]?” he asked, remaining stoic in voice, however his brows were knit with concern. You furrowed your eyebrows and thought hard before brightening up when you came up with your genius idea.

Without uttering a word, you gently held onto his wrist and dragged him into your music room, ushering him towards your piano seat. You plopped down your piano bench, and patted the remaining space, gesturing for him to take a seat beside you. Kurapika nodded and sat beside you, and as soon as he did, you started playing the chorus of your newly composed song.

The airy notes and your beautiful voice filled the room. Kurapika was always in awe when he’d watch you live, but he never had the chance to fully take-in how soothing your voice was due to his duties. When you had finished, he clapped delicately and offered you a light smile.

“What inspired you to write this song?” he asked, purely out of curiosity. You grinned brightly at him, a blush plastering your face, “You,” you answered. Oh man, were you awfully honest when you’re sleep deprived.

[charliehoennam]

the NO-SKIP albums: a tag game

rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums. 🔎 bonus & optional (but imo, v fun) rules:1) add a track rec for us to listen to! AND2) share ur favorite line(s) from that track! 👀

tagged by @stephendorff, i got pretty excited for this but then i realized that i don't have many no-skips albums....or so i thought🤦‍♀️ tagging: @gyll-yee-haw, @gyllenhaalstories, @potter-solomons, @navybrat817, @laurfilijames, @ithinkwehitametaphor

🎧 album info/track recs/my favorite lines under the cut!! ↓↓↓

album: audioslave by audioslave song rec: shadow on the sun I can tell you why // People go insane // I can show you how // You could do the same their self-entitled album never fails to make me feel like driving out in the middle of the desert in a pick-up truck with a cigarette hanging between my lips, hands stained with the blood of my ex-lover

album: diamond eyes by deftones song rec: beauty school You're shooting stars // From the barrel of your eyes // It drives me crazy // Just drives me wild deftones (and chino with all his side projects i.e team sleep, crosses, and palms which deserve a shoutout) never fail to amaze me with every song they make. hands down, my favorite band and coming to that conclusion was not easy

album: koi no yokan by deftones song rec: swerve city She tames with her voices // As she plays around with the forces i wasn't lying when i said they're my number 1 band lmao when this album first came out, i was hesitant about because i felt like their music changed a bit. but listening to it, 14 years later, made me realize how it sounds like a more mature side of the band and also i feel like they've successfully managed to put how an orgasm feels into music

album: razorblade romance by HIM song rec: right here in my arms She keeps on crying // But i won't leave her alone // She'll never be alone HIM was probably my first introduction into rock in general when i started watching jackass and viva la bam and it was love at first song. i just love how their music makes me feel like a century year old vampire wandering the modern world. and their lyrics are incomparable

album: meteora by linkin park song rec: from the inside Tension is building inside, steadily // Everyone feels so far away from me // Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me choosing between meteora and hybrid theory is a long life debate and they're both so perfect but meteora is what i listened to the most growing up and it became the soundtrack of my teenage age lmao

album: peripheral vision by turnover song rec: new scream Adolescent dreams gave to adult screams // Paranoid that I won't have all the things they say I need this band deserves so much more attention. this album brings a sense of nostalgia to me and just makes me feel warm and happy and like road tripping through australia, which has always been a place i've always wanted to visit and unfortunately haven't been able to

album: as far as the eye can see by people in planes song rec: falling by the wayside It's OK // To be safe // I'm losing control // Falling by the wayside if i could choose a song to play at the moment of my passing away, that would be this. it's beautifully haunting in a way and the entire album is a musical masterpiece. i truly hate that this band broke up and never got the appreciation they deserved so i've made it my life's mission to spread the good word of people in planes lmao

album: placebo by placebo song rec: teenage angst Since I was born I started to decay // Now nothing ever, ever goes my way the only reason i didn't choose sleeping with ghosts is because there are two songs on there that aren't my favorite and i usually skip. placebo is a great alternative band that never goes out of style for me and i could listen to this album on repeat forever

album: jar by superheaven song rec: in on it / youngest daughter And I know just what I need // Autumn leaves and fallen trees // To feel the cold beneath my feet // Breathe until your lungs fail // You can sing 'til you go deaf this band has successfully revived alt/grunge in a mature way that brings a sense of nostalgia along with it. for me, it's hard to believe this album was only birthed in 2013. under the video, there's a comment that says "greatest 90s band of the 2010s" and it couldn't be more accurate. i couldn't pick between the two songs

album: teenage wrist song rec: swallow Older and older // The voice of wasted youth has never been so loud // Over and over // Like powder in the barrel pushin' deeper down another band that's been bringing atl/grunge and they do it so well. haven't really listened much to their new stuff, but this album has a very special place in my heart deserves much more attention. you can't tell me their grittiness doesn't make you feel like you're in the 90s

album: the questions by emery song rec: playing with fire Why should I take all the blame for all my mistakes? // You were there with every promise made to break  one of my first introductions to 'emo' music lmao this band has been a must-have on every playlist i've ever made. the vocal harmony in their music really hits the soul

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson in New Jersey. Finally.

Alyssa Rasp | August 4, 2023

To any Louis Tomlinson fans, it’s not news that he has phenomenal music taste. Andrew Cushin, a singer-songwriter from across the pond in Newcastle, is no exception. Andrew joined Louis for almost the entirety of the North American leg of the Faith In The Future World Tour – and the fans loved him.

Last Friday, the tour stopped at the Stone Pony Summer Stage in Asbury Park, New Jersey. A show that is basically on the beach? Who could complain? Andrew took to the stage in a pair of sunnies with a guitar in hand to the sound of 3,000 screaming fans. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a concert where the crowd shows as much love to the support acts as they do for the headliner, but after hearing Andrew play, I totally get why (and I missed that sound).

His voice is incredible with so much power and a beautiful tone. The narrative he is able to get across in his lyrics are one of the best parts of his music. New fans and old fans agree, because much of the audience knew every single word to his songs, including his latest single, “Wor Flags.”

Despite the 95º heat this night, the energy never dipped. The following act, supporting act Giant Rooks, were up next and brought the sound of Berlin to New Jersey. The alternative rock band were dancing all over the stage throughout their entire set and hyping up the crowd. Frontman Fred Rabe even showed off his percussion skills with a tambourine and floor tom in addition to his usual guitar.

Again, the fans who came out were showing so much love. They knew lyrics, had posters, and were dancing along even in the scorching weather. (It was the perfect set up for the headliner and their own single that dropped just a few days later: “Somebody Like You.”)

When Louis Tomlinson hit the stage, the crowd was electric. Many of his fans have been around since his early days in One Direction, but it was clear that a lot of the crowd were solo Louis fans through-and-through. Following his debut album Walls (which was one of our Top Albums of 2020), the English artist grew further into his own with the release of Faith In The Future. (This sophomore record of his also ranked on our year-end favorite albums, even with its late 2022 release date.) The singer-songwriter has officially found the rock sound that he has been striving for. I love it. We love it. The fans love it.

Full of big guitars and intense drums, his live show is insanely good and so much fun. His touring band is incredibly talented, but it’s no question that he surrounds himself with the best. Listening to the record before this night in Asbury Park and then hearing the songs in person, it’s clear that Louis wrote them for a live setting. Even with a pared down stage setting (this was the smallest stage he played on during this amphitheater run), he still put on an amazing show. It’s so obvious that this Brit-rock star loves performing.

Delivering reimagined rock versions of One Direction classics “Night Changes” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?” on top of deep cuts of his own beloved originals, he made sure to pay homage to his single era of 2017 with “Back To You,” which featured Bebe Rexha. Those moments prove that his musical instincts are still there and are able to adapt to his current style while also showing love to fan favorites. Louis Tomlinson is truly an artist to keep an eye on if you’re not already. One of the best shows I’ve ever been to from start to finish. Although he’s off to tour the rest of the world after a short break, we are looking forward to the next time he’s back in town.

Louis Tomlinson, FITFWT23: Asbury Park, 28.7.2023

[thisaintascenereviews]

Lupe Fiasco - Samurai

I recently reviewed Eminem’s latest album, The Death Of Slim Shady, and to be blunt, it’s a bad album. It’s nothing but a 51-year-old man being a bully and constantly using slurs and offensive language to make himself feel better about never growing up and being as corny as he’s always been. I say all that because the sad reality is that for a lot of people, that’s the only rap album they’ll listen to all year. I’m not going to pretend that I’m a connoisseur of rap, but I listen to some every now and again. An album that caught my attention recently, literally a week or so before Em’s new dumpster fire came out, was the new Lupe Fiasco album, Samurai, and I would recommend this album a thousand times more than The Death Of Slim Shady.

I’ve been a fan of Lupe for a long time now, ever since I listened to him in 2015 when Tetsuo & Youth came out, although he’s been around for much longer than that. His career is weirdly opposite that of Eminem’s, and part of why I wanted to mention his new album, because while Eminem is still really popular, the majority of the underground really doesn’t care about him, whereas the mainstream doesn’t care much about Lupe anymore (not really his doing, though, unfortunately), he thrives in the underground. Lupe Fiasco is an incredibly talented, ambitious, and visionary rapper that can also sing really well, and has a lot of lyrics that are socially aware and/or deeper than you’d expect.

I don’t usually like a lot of pretentious and self-indulgent music, whether it’s rap, rock, or whatever it may be, but Lupe’s music has always been a great mix of unique and accessible. Despite his flows being spitfire, and his lyrics having a lot of meaning behind them, there are some great hooks within the tracks. Samurai is the first time I’ve listened to him since 2017, but this album caught my attention for two key reasons — it’s only a half hour long, and it’s a loose concept album about Amy Winehouse being what she called a “samurai battle rapper.” She said something to her longtime producer in a documentary about her that she was writing music that made her feel like that, and Lupe ran with it, resulting in this.

You don’t necessarily need to know this is a concept album, though, because it’s incredibly loose. What you do need to know, however, is that this album is one of the best albums of the year, and if you listen to one rap album this year, make it this one. This record is a half hour burst of some energetic, catchy, and fun jazz-rap that’s also poignant and well-written. It just shows yet again that Lupe is one of the most talented and versatile rappers, even almost 20 years after his debut. It may not change the game in any way, shape, or form, but not all albums need to. If anything, this just cements his status as a legend, and he isn’t relying on a tired and dated shtick to remain relevant.

At only a half hour, it breezes by, but I want to listen to it again as soon as it’s over, because of its replay factor. Songs like the title track, “Cake,” and “No. 1 Headband” are so much fun, and show off his voice nicely. Lupe’s the first rapper I think of who can “rap fast,” but also be good, as well as refrain from being pretentious and self-indulgent. He also just showcases his lyrical dexterity, too; he can switch his flow at a moment’s notice, whether it’s to another style or a sung hook, and he sounds great. The hooks on here shouldn’t be understated, they’re really good. His sense of melody hasn’t been lost, either, but his knack for being accessible and catchy, just as much as being able to rap in a spitfire way, is just as important.

This record is easily in my top five of the year; I’ll find a handful of records every year that I can’t stop listening to, and this is one of them. It’s just been on rotation constantly, but it’s so catchy, fun, and energetic. There’s just so much to love within this record, and I can’t get enough of it. Like I said, if you listen to one rap album this year, make it this one. Samurai is a killer album, despite its crazy concept, but the concept doesn’t quite matter, since it doesn’t directly tie into the album, anyway, so you can listen to it without knowing anything about it. It still holds up, regardless, but it’s absolutely fantastic in every single way.

[theproloser34]

So at the end of every year, I always find it interesting to see how my music taste has changed throughout the year. Which is why I LOVE Spotify Wrapped day and seeing what my top 5 songs of the year were. And this year, I was actually kinda surprised.

Now, it’s not wrong, I absolutely played these songs a bunch, but I wouldn’t say they were my FAVORITE songs this year. They just came out very early in the year and were able to add up plays before anything else. So that got me thinking, what were my FAVORITE songs this year? Not the ones that I played the most, but what had the most impact, whether it just be an earworm or the meaning of the song. So why not write and list them out! I like analyzing my thoughts too much.

I’ll keep my choices to just one song per artist. It'll be however many songs I wanna add. Details don’t really matter, it’s my list, I add whatever I want. Expect a VERY long posts and a lot of links to songs if you want to check them out. (DO IT. I swear I have good music taste.)

1) First off, I gotta start with DO BETTER by Ab-Soul off of his latest album HERBERT. Ab-Soul has been in my top 5 rappers probably for the past decade and my second favorite of TDE other than Kendrick. HERBERT was his most personal album to date, and nothing shows that better than DO BETTER. A lot of his album is inspired by the events that happened in his life during the pandemic including one of his best friends dying and his own failed suicide attempt and his subsequent trip to rehab. You can easily hear all the pain and survivor's guilt he has, but also the determination to turn around and come out stronger. The instrumentation is both extremely haunting and calming. I always come out of this feeling inspired to deal with my own issues. The line "I gotta do better, I gotta do better, I guided you better. There's nothing they can do that I can't do better. Better yet, there's nothing I can do that I can't do better. Yeah, I'm better," never stops giving me chills.

2) I've been slowly getting into EDM these past couple years. And one big part of my learning of the genre is Skrillex, who came back and surprise dropped TWO albums in TWO days. And both were really good albums that showed multiple different styles of EDM. Whether you prefer more dark and grungy beats like the songs in Quest For Fire, or if you rather have more bright, poppy sounds in Don't Get Too Close, there will be something for you in these two albums. The song that most stood out to me though was a good mix of the two with the opener for Quest For Fire, Leave Me Like This. The standout part of this song is the earworm of a vocal hook, which gives a wonderful strong melodic element to the song. Combined with the synths creates a strong hypnotic pre-drop section for the song. Of course the drop contains the more grungy parts of the song, especially the growly bass the introduces the drop of the song. But my favorite part of this section tis the repeated, pitched up "left, right, left" chant helps keep the rhythmic center in the song as the drums get more complex in the drop. Even if you don't enjoy EDM music, I'd listen to Skrillex's new releases because you get such a different arrangement of sounds and really see his versatility.

3) Anyone who knows me knows that I have been horribly addicted to hyperpop these past three years and it is definitely unhealthy to my ear drums. And 100 gecs has absolutely been in my top 3 hyperpop artists since they came out. So when they announced they were releasing an album this year, it was instantly one of my most anticipated albums of this year. And they absolutely delivered with 10000 Gecs. They continue to create inventive music with the same brashness, humor, and insanity that drew me to them in the first place. And I'd say this album is just slightly less abrasive to new fans than their past album. Nothing anywhere near as crazy as Money Machine, but all of the tracks contain the unique brand of energy and mix of hip-hop, rock, and pop, with and added element of ska on some songs like I Got My Tooth Removed and Frog On The Floor. But my favorite has to go to the opener of this album, Dumbest Girl Alive. Right away with the first 15 seconds, you can tell they're back on their bullshit with the opening guitar riff and gunshot impacts. And as soon as the drums come in, you get their wonderful blown out sound where I can't help but turn up my speakers to the max. But the obvious standout of this track is Laura Les's performance of this track. A super catchy melody, an earworm of a recurring phrase, "I'm the dumbest girl alive," and multiple quotable lines create a great verse. Plus the bouncy bass continuing with it creates such a wonderful short track that makes me just want to keep repeating it over and over again.

4) The more music I listen to, the more I am drawn to the weird, more eclectic styles of music. Especially with hip-hop, with so much getting made, only the really unique stuff sticks out to me now. Luckily that's the exact type of music Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA make and together they made one of the best hip-hop albums of this year with Scaring The Hoes. And this music will, in fact, scare the hoes.

JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown are already well known in the Abstract Hip-hop genre, each being strongly characterized by their unique self-production and unique delivery respectively. Both of them have their own unique strength and coming together, they create a landscape of sounds and tracks that you will not hear on any other hip-hop album this year. As has become pretty evident, I'm a sucker for intros. And this album is no different because the intro, Lean Beef Patty, is easily my favorite from this album and was also in my top 5 songs played this year. Even though this song is just 2 minutes, it contains my favorite things about both artists. A sped up sample almost drowned out by the rest of the production, a signature of JPEGMAFIA production. Brash, bold lyrics from JPEGMAFIA such as "Fuck y'all niggas, I feel like Papa John," and "Fuck Elon Musk, eight dollars too much," which honestly just became the slogan for the year. Finally Danny Brown's energy and delivery give an exciting final verse to this song. And wonderful way to start one of the best albums of the year.

5) A group that came out of nowhere for me was grouptherapy. grouptherapy. is a music group consisting of Jadagrace, TJOnline, and SWIM. Their new album "i was mature for my age, but i was still a child" popped up randomly in my Spotify and I was surprised by the quality of there sounds, their charisma, and their chemistry. Each artist clearly has their own style that fits well with the other two and they all trade off so well in each of their tracks, which is essential to a good group dynamic.

Their new album has multiple standouts that show all of the groups' talents such as American Psycho and FUNKFEST. But my personal favorite off of this album is "club song :(" where Jadagrace takes the front stage in a mainly acoustic guitar song. Her voice is allowed to take a front seat and it creates a striking and kinda haunting melody. TJOnline joins in the latter half of the song to add some well added harmony to the song. This was the song that I kept coming back to from this project. Check this group out, cause they should have much more buzz than they have now.

6) Every once in a while, you'll be at a concert and you'll see an opening act that completely surprises you. And then afterwards, you slowly see them gaining more and more clout as they slowly grow to superstardom. That happened to me with Jordan Ward. I had the opportunity to see him perform and a JID x Smino concert as the opener and he absolutely impressed with his energy and singing.

I forgot about him until he released the deluxe version of him latest album FORWARD. I remembered his name and decided to listen finally and he has everything to be one of the next RnB stars. Since then, his album is one a bunch of top albums of the year lists and has even had a NPR tiny desk concert.

My favorite of his so far is MUSTARD. The guitar arpeggiating the chords, the slightly pitched up vocals, and live played drums on this track just work in the best way. 6lack also joins and adds a great second verse. Listen to him, he's gonna be up next soon and you'll want to see his rise.

7) Finally, there's the artist of the year for me, Underscores. I've known of them for a while, but only REALLY got into their music this year. I devoured their last two albums and have been playing them on repeat all year until she announced her new album Wallsocket. It was easily my most anticipated album this year and luckily it exceeded all expectations.

Underscores is a very hard artist to describe because she was one of the hyperpop classic artists but has evolved her sound beyond that. There is still some of that overblown hip-hop, dance pop sound around her music, but there is also more of what I'd say is folk rock in there now with this album. Either way, she still manages to produces some of the most unique soundscapes that I've heard this year.

All three of her singles that she released were in completely different areas. The rock focused "Cops and Robbers", the creepy, slow, and uncomfortable "You don't even know who I am", or the dance EDM focused "Locals (Girls like us)" had be so confused about what the sound of the album would be like. All it did was build up the hype and so I HAD to watch the livestream of the album on release day. And that is easily on of my favorite memories of the year, freaking out with the chat as we uncovered how good of an album this is.

While every song on this project is wonderful, the song the immediately attached itself to my brain was "Uncanny long arms". The song structure here is just hypnotizing to me. The quiet opening of the song going into the first chorus and the first "I can touch my toes" belt is forever into my mind. And the vocal stuttering and breakdown afterwards let me know this song was special immediately but it only gets better.

Jane Remover has a standout second verse on this song and her voice sounds angelic and just floats over the guitar. She had an amazing year in her own career and this song is a standout moment. Her turn on the chorus is even better with added instrumentation and the pure emotion you hear in her voice.

But easily the favorite part of this track to me is the outro, which to long underscores fans will be no surprise. The song being stripped down before jumping right into a bombastic, more rock version of "Kinko's field trip" brought me right back to 2021 and I damn near screamed hearing this on the live stream. Easily my favorite music moment and favorite song of this year. Listen to underscores everyone, you won't regret it.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I don't have anywhere near as much to say about these songs, but I still want to bring them up because they're fun and were big parts of this year for me.

Stasis - leastfavorite!: Discovered her this year and she is another hyperpop artist that I think deserves more recognition. She released her first EP late last year so listen to it!

nothing2say - Jay Kim: Another artist I discovered this year but released an EP last year. Not really hyperpop, more midwest emo vibes with a little bit of brakence vibes with him. But another album that I'm excited to see grow after listening to them this year.

Damage Gets Done - Hozier: I shouldn't have to say this on this website, but Hozier is a pretty good artist. I listened to the new album he dropped this year and this duet was a standout to me and just couldn't get out of my head.

Maybe Man - AJR: As we now know, I'm a sucker for openers, and damn, is AJR good at them. They always make them fit the themes and sounds of the albums so well. "Maybe Man" is no exception. Probably would've made it onto the favorites list is it came out sooner.

Alright that's it. This post is long enough. Please listen to them! I swear they're good! And I promised not to always talk about music this long! (It's still gonna happen sometimes though. I'm sorry, I can't stop myself.) Also please share your favorite songs! I love seeing people's music tastes and what really connects with them!

[capnmarvell]

Can’t believe I was able to snap these photos 🥲 Arlington TX, 4/1 (Night #2 aka the night of THREE Death By A Thousand Cuts bridges)

I’ve been a fan of Taylor’s since 2007. She has the same first name as me, and for a long time I hated how common it was. Every year there were at least 1 or 2 other Taylor’s in my class. And I was never the Taylor people called out to. I felt totally invisible.

Then one day driving home from school I turned on the radio and heard the first chorus of Teardrops on My Guitar and fell in love. “Who is this?” I thought. I’d never heard this singer. Once the song was over the deejay said it was Taylor Swift, a new artist who’s album just came out a few months prior. That was it for me.

I asked my dad to buy me her Debut CD, and played it on repeat on my little portable stereo in my room. Taylor helped me love my name again. She felt like the friend I didn’t have at that age. She was exactly what little 11 year old Taylor needed that day in 2007.

For years I dreamed of seeing her live. My family could never afford concert tickets, and to be fair my parents also had no idea when she was touring and how to even go about buying concert tickets, and I was never really on the internet until I was about 16 so I didn’t even know when she was touring either. We were all horribly internet-challenged 😅. I even remember when I’d learned she had a concert after the fact, because girls from my school would come in the following school day showing off their merch and talking all about it and just being devastated I missed it. Then when I actually did know she was touring, it was just something we either could never afford, and had no way of getting to said concert 🥲.

And despite never being able to afford merch or attend concerts, I’d still always get the CDs and spend hours just getting lost in the stories Taylor told through her songs. I’ve grown with her these last 16 years. We’ve both been through loss, love, and heartbreak. I don’t think i’ll ever stop listening to her.

I lost “The Great War” for presale tickets to the Eras Tour, and chalked it all up to being another concert I can’t attend. But seeing as how big Taylor has gotten and will continue to get, I decided it’s probably now or never. So, I’m sorry, but I did buy a scalper ticket. I didn’t get any boosts for the presale, and wasn’t picked for any of the second chance sales and what have you, so unfortunately scalpers were my only choice. I don’t regret it, though, because it put me the closest I’ll ever be to Taylor in my lifetime. She put on an amazingly incredible show, one I will never, ever forget.

I got to scream the bridges of “Cruel Summer,” “Champagne Problems,” “Death By A Thousand Cuts,” and “Betty.” I cried while she sang “Marjorie,” the song I can’t listen to without thinking of the loss of my mom. And best of all I got to laugh and smile along with my favorite artist of all time, live and in person 10 ft in front of me for 3 solid hours.

I love you Taylor 💕✨

Signed, the-girl-who-loves-her-name-now Taylor

[lnights]

@10yearsofblindchannel happy Joel Day!

Joel day 1,011 words, hinted JoelxOlli, baby channel

Graduation felt like it was looming upon him. He knew that was probably a bit dramatic, but it was really all he could think. 

His parents kept telling him he had to figure out his life, that he couldn't keep dreaming of being a rockstar forever, especially since his band had folded.

His father told him to be grateful he got as much as he had; there was a lot of bands that never got to release an album like they did, that never got to play the shows he was able to play with the others and he should be happy he at least got to live his dream for a little bit while he was still in school and still being supported by them.

His mother would tell him the same, that he was able to have his band and he should be happy with what he had and leave it at that

But it's not what he wanted, he wanted to rule the world with music.

Dorky looking Joonas Porko had been the last person he had thought would feel the same, but the two of them had ended up using the same rehearsal room at school because the others were full, and discussion had quickly started about how both of their bands had decided to dissolve, leaving them drifting right before graduation.

It only took a couple weeks of playing guitar and writing music before they started talking about forming a band together.

"We really have some great songs here." Joonas told him, "you remember Olli from Abhorrent Ritual? He would be happy to play bass for us. And our friend Tommi is a great drummer."

"I don't know," Joel replied, "I'm really not great singing-"

"You are though!" Joonas insisted, "I've heard you sing enough."

"Not on my own!" Joel argued, "I only did backing vocals before… and besides I don't think I could be a frontman by myself."

Joonas nodded a little, "we'll figure it out, but I think we should get Olli and Tommi involved."

Joel smiled a little, the idea of having another band appealing to him enough to override his nerves, "give them a call."

…

"They are literally babies," Joel muttered.

"They're only a couple years younger than me and they happen to be two of my best friends," Joonas rolled his eyes, "you heard them play, they picked up the songs right away, you know we can do this."

Joel sighed but Joonas was right, their new drummer and bassist may be young but he couldn't deny they had talent.

"Ok," Joel addressed the other two, "I was not able to get back into the same rehearsal space I used to use with Scarm, so we'll go with Joonas' garage for now. We can meet up there this weekend and have our first practice, assuming you two still want to do this?"

For a moment he really wondered if they would back out, he knew he didn't have the greatest reputation in school, he was often thought of as difficult to work with and moody, maybe they wouldn't want to work with him even with Joonas vouching for him. Maybe he was just too much and he'd never have a band again and-

"Sounds good." Tommi said, Olli nodding along.

Relief flooded through him and he gave them the address, packing his guitar while they talked about a house party they were going to on Friday night, trying to not listen too closely. It wasn't like he was ever invited to those things.

…

"Joel, you have to stop pacing." Niko told him.

Joel froze in his path, looking over at his co-vocalist.

"How can you not be nervous?" He asked, "we're in Germany, we're about to go on stage at fucking Wacken!"

"I know," Niko said, "but we've got this."

Joel sighed and flopped into a chair instead, looking around him.

When Porko had called him a year ago and convinced him to pick up some rapper he and Olli had met at a party the night before and bring him to band practice, he hadn't realized he was picking up the missing piece they needed to get their band off the ground.

Niko kept him balanced, stayed calm when he panicked, jumped for joy with him when they got their first song on the radio, even came up with their band name. He was exactly what they had needed.

It still surprised him sometimes, that he had ended up with a group that didn't just ditch him when he got to be too much; they argued and occasionally told each other off, but there would always be apologies later over a beer and everything would be forgotten.

Joel looked around their tent, Tommi was drumming to a tune only he could hear, something Joel had long figured out was a nervous habit and was best to not disturb him. Joonas was sitting with Olli and talking quietly, he seemed cheerful but their bassist looked pale.

He didn't know why but he always hated seeing Olli upset; of course he hated seeing all his bandmates upset, but especially Olli…

He was too sweet, sometimes a little bit of an airhead but at others serious and calmer than all of them put together.

He could keep it together for him.

"You're right," he said loudly to Niko, "we've got this, we're going to go out there and dominate that stage."

Joonas and Olli looked up at him, both giving him a smile.

"He's right," Joonas patted Olli on the shoulder, "we've got this!"

"Fuck yeah we do", Tommi said from the corner, tone deadpan as normal.

"Thanks Joel," Olli smiled that soft smile he only seemed to show Joel he got up to grab his bass.

Joel smiled as his four bandmates started to show more enthusiasm, helping him to forget his own worries. Of course they had this, he had the best band in the world.

With the cutest bassist in the world.

With that blush-inducing thought, Joel got up to lead them to the stage.

[good-to-drive]

Weedkiller and healing from the overturning of Roe v. Wade

This album is so healing and cathartic and I haven’t been able to stop listening to it on repeat since it came out. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen or understood in my entire life, and I just need some room to rant about it lol. Fair warning that this is pretty long.

When the news about Roe v Wade came out I was so angry and upset I couldn't stop shaking. I truly never thought I would live to see this happen. I felt disgusted and afraid and angry and violated, and it felt like no one cared or understood just how horrific and repulsive this is for people with female bodies. Every time I hear about another state restricting abortion rights or refusing to track maternal mortality rates or making birth control harder to access I want to vomit. I know pro-lifers think we're just being dramatic when we say these things, but it's so visceral and horrific to have your bodily autonomy taken away, to feel like you're being crushed by this huge machine that neither knows nor cares that you're a sentient being, not just a vessel. It truly gives me the same feeling that you experience when you watch a movie with body horror and gore. It's not political, it's as intensely personal as anything can be. And although I could find plenty of people expressing sadness at this situation, I couldn't find anything that captured this visceral horror and disgust that is so overwhelming all the fucking time. I felt lost and wrong, like I was less than human in this society and a fool for not knowing my place before. Like the disgust and horror I was feeling made me disgusting because no one else seemed to be feeling it. I think, like most of us with a female body, I felt that I had no right to be horrified that I was being reduced to flesh for men to use, like I should’ve already known that’s all I was.

This album did more than encapsulate and validate that horror. It wrapped it up into a little ball and took aim at it and blasted it into pieces, and left me seething mad and ready to rip the world a new one. World Eater alchemized this horror into a tangible enemy, a machine that kills for pleasure, and WEEDKILLER let me smash that machine to pieces. You Make Me Sick! let me scream to the world that I’m mad, I’m disgusted, I’m dangerous, and I’m allowed to be. Chokehold Cherry Python was like Daisy on steroids, the avenging angel returned darker and more disturbed because the world she inhabits is sicker than we knew. Worms is hysteria and numbness all at once, when the world makes you vomit until you’re dry heaving and only able to laugh at how absurdly cruel this life really is. Cheerleader let me take pride in my femininity without feigning weakness. And Possession of a Weapon made me feel like a dark, wounded goddess, my body grotesquely reduced to pieces in someone else’s chess game, but still in possession of the pussy weapon, the vagina dentata that disgusts and frightens the people who want our bodies to be pliable and abusable.

And then there’s songs like Super Soaker, Moonlight Magic, and Don’t Look At It that express queer female sexuality without shame, because even in an apocalyptic cyberpunk wasteland we’re still only human and our desires deserve to be celebrated. And Want It All, which makes me remember that however fucked up this life is I still want every last piece of it, even the ones that hurt.

The most emotional songs on the album for me were Miss Nectarine and Dying Star. Miss Nectarine is such a delicate and beautiful story about a vulnerable time of life, and so heartbreaking and moving. I think a lot of us relate to the experience of discovering a piece of ourselves that our immediate world is hostile to, and wanting to be strong enough to save ourselves and the ones we love from this reality – wanting to play hero – but being crushed and heartbroken instead. That feeling of powerlessness and heartbreak is especially visceral for me right now, wondering if I or someone I love will be put through forced pregnancy or even killed because of this new political reality I never thought I’d live to see.

Dying Star as the last track was so unexpected, but so, so necessary. It’s like this album transformed my fear and self recrimination into righteous fury, but at the last moment instead of being consumed by it I was given a chance to want something soft. To want the world to listen to me when I say “ouch”, to mourn the magic in me that was drained away even when I repressed myself and behaved like a lady and very politely asked not to be killed. To feel not just angry but hurt that even when I shrink myself and try to be what I’m supposed to be the world still grinds me under its heel. The anger doesn’t drain away – the anger is legitimate, the anger is allowed – but I’m allowed to be gentle, too. To have longing. To have a broken heart. To dream of something or someone that could soothe this pain. The legislation around female bodies is like a dying star, collapsing in on itself and creating this black hole of howling horror and fear. I have been trapped in its orbit, circling and circling the same pain, and breaking orbit might pull me apart but it’s what I truly want. At least, it is now that Ashnikko has allowed me to feel my rage and my disgust and my power and my helplessness, to own them without shame, and then to look beyond them and search for something more.

Sorry this is such a novel, I’ve just been so emotional about this album ever since it came out. The very first time I heard Ashnikko I just knew that finally someone got it. Finally there was a person out there who wasn’t forcing theirself to play nice or perform femininity in the way that was expected. Who wasn’t ashamed of being exactly who they were, feminine and masculine energies combined, expressing gender and the lack thereof in ways that I had never seen before but that felt intuitively right. And honestly this album took it even further. I am so freaking grateful that Ash released this, listening to it was a journey but it was a journey that healed my heart.

Ashnikko, if you ever read this, thank you so much.

[rosietrace]

Melodic Misconceptions 🎹

Track 16: Young & beautiful 4/4

Synopsis: Victoria Shard was a former member of the popular idol group [ Poisoner ] from NRC corporations. After discourse with her group leader, Victoria decided it was best for her to leave and pursue her solo career in a record label run by her parents.

It had been half a year since her separation from her old group, and Victoria had never been more successful. But now she has a new problem. She must return to NRC corporations in order to mentor the seven idol groups.

Ellis Clawthorne is a member of [ (Co)-connect ] the most recent group under NRC'S belt. With no experience as an idol, Ellis must persevere in order to succeed and pursue her dreams.

Will both girls be able to adapt to their current situations?

��� ✎_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_✐ ✎

Author's note: So.... A little note, updates might take a little longer since I've got school now 😭 I'll do my best to update regularly with the time I'm given to write and edit these tracks-

On the other hand, woo! The young and beautiful arc of 'Queen of nothing' has concluded! ^^ I'll do my best to write the rest of the plot current plot to fit the name of the album.

Anyways, I don't really have anything else to ask but uh- Reblogs definitely help and- I hope you don't mind reblogging-

But other than that, enjoy!

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

"It's a shame that everything's gonna end soon…."

Feeling a little confused, Juvia turned to Ellis with a concerned face."What do you mean?"

Ellis sighed, munching on her sugar cookie before she responded."The music video thing…. I think I got too used to the routine of getting ready for the music video. Once it's over, we're returning to NRC Corp…" though she felt saddened, it was still a little difficult for Juvia to take Ellis fully seriously while she was pouting.

Letting out a breath, Juvia sat next to Ellis and put her hand over hers."I know, and I understand, but… It kinda had to end eventually." Juvia sucked in a breath, hoping she didn't upset Ellis even more.

And yet, Ellis huffed and gave her friend a tired smile."I guess…." She said, finishing the last bits of her sugar cookie and wiping off the crumbs from her dress.

"But to change topics, remember that post Zen made about… You-know-who?"

Juvia furrowed her eyebrows, slightly confused.

"What do you mean- Ohhh….. HIM." Ellis giggled while watching Juvia suddenly realize who she was referring to.

"I mean, yeah, but what about it?"

This time it was Ellis who sucked in a breath."Do you think….. He, you know…." She hesitantly trailed off of her sentence and began to make gestures with her hands.

"Er…. Ellis, I don't know what you're trying to imply-"

"Oh- Well I was gonna ask, do you think he likes Victoria-"

"HUH??"

Juvia's eyes widened and her mouth fell agape at Ellis's question. The latter had to scratch the back of their head and raise their hands in defense.

"LISTEN-"

"Why would you think that??"

"You never know!"

"Ellis, he's only known Victoria for a couple of weeks-"

"Juvia. The chemistry is THERE. And it doesn't take long for anyone to start pining for our mentor."

Juvia's eyebrows furrow again, but this time in subtle bewilderment at Ellis's assumption.

Ellis shrugged, still contemptuous about the assumption that Aguri likely began falling for their mentor.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

The minute the director yelled the word "Action!" Victoria and Aguri put on their best poker faces to maintain the everlasting tension between one another.

It felt so unnatural yet so mesmerizing to see Aguri dance with Victoria up the stairs while the camera followed their movements.

Miren watched behind the cameras with everyone else, his eyes softening while watching the two of them in awe."Would you look at that…" he managed to murmur after it had been pure silence since filming began.

Zen chuckled."Mesmerizing, ain't it?..." He said to Miren, watching his best friend continuously dance.

Their dancing came to a halt as Aguri stopped her and trapped her with his arms against the railing behind her.

As the final lines of the song were coming to a close, Aguri leaned in, feeling his breathing against Victoria's.

And just as her breath hitched as he leaned a little closer, eyes wide,

"And…. Cut! That's a wrap!"

It was over.

Realizing the level of proximity he had with her, Aguri stepped back with wide eyes, equally as embarrassed as Victoria.

As for the latter, she was even more shocked. Did he…

…. Did he just try to kiss me?

That was what she thought. And she had that thought running through her mind as soon as Vil declared that there was going to be an after-party to celebrate after they edit and upload the music video.

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Aguri groaned.

It was currently the after-party of the music video and they had rented one of the largest first-class hotels to celebrate. As happy as almost everyone was, Aguri felt awkward.

Why? Because of what had happened between him and Victoria during that final scene.

It wasn't obvious to many, but he leaned closer than what was scripted. And he was close enough to have the tips of their upper lips against each other.

He felt embarrassed. Ashamed, even. He couldn't look Victoria in the face after what had happened between them during that.

"What are you doing?"

"Ah- Vil…. You gave me a little scare." Aguri brushed off his shock almost flawlessly. Vil sighed and walked up to him, giving him a glass of red wine before he drank his glass of water.

After swallowing the last bits of his water, Vil turned to Aguri, who hadn't touched a sliver of his wine."Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, his voice filled with concern.

Aguri snickered, faking an expression filled with amusement at Vil's concern for him."Trust me, Vil, I'm fine." He assured, patting his friend on the back.

Vil pursed his lips and clicked his tongue."You better be. I don't exactly like it when you lie to me, Aguri." He sent him a scowl before walking out the balcony, and back into the sixth-floor lobby.

Ah. Right. Aguri almost forgot he was distancing himself from Vil after he spoke with him, days before.

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

[ Flashback ]

"Why did you call her that?"

"Call her what?"

Aguri took a sip of his coffee."You know, you should probably drink your coffee before hair and makeup show up-"

"Don't change the subject. Just- Answer my question." Vil interrupted, hesitating to continue mid-sentence.

Aguri rolled his eyes and leaned against the table."There's nothing wrong with calling her 'princess', Vil. It isn't going to imply anything." He put his cup down and crossed his arms.

Vil huffed."But it WILL imply something if you start calling her that in public." Aguri didn't like that he emphasized the word 'will'. And in general, he didn't want to argue with his friend at the moment.

"Vil-"

"Tell me, Aguri."

He fell silent and almost hesitated to reply.

".... What?"

"What feelings do you have for her?"

He knew he was talking about Victoria, he couldn't help but frown."What the hell are you talking about, Vil?" He asked him a question in response.

And that irked Vil a little.

".... You're in love with her."

Aguri coughed, surprised that Vil would assume such a thing."What- Vil what the hell?? I've only known her for a couple of weeks, how could I possibly be in love with her???"

Vil crossed his arms, sending his friend a scowl."Don't lie to me, Aguri."

Aguri clenched his jaw, as well as his fists."I'm not!" He shouted, feeling his nostrils flare.

Scoffing, Vil was about to walk out of the room before saying one more thing. Something that would be on the back of his friend's mind since then.

"I don't like that you're lying to me, Aguri."

[ End of Flashback ]

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

Thinking back on that memory only made Aguri feel even more awkward. If not depressed.

It wasn't like his entire career was based on his relationship with Vil. It was only like that in the beginning. Now, it didn't matter if his relationship with Vil was positive or not.

How the hell am I supposed to- His thoughts were interrupted.

"I noticed Vil left here. I'm guessing you didn't have a pleasant conversation?"

The second he realized it was Victoria, Aguri didn't hesitate to chug down his glass of wine, spilling a bit of it on his white blouse.

Victoria watched in disgust, scrunching her nose as she walked over to him and handed him a handkerchief from her purse.

He took it, even if he was hesitant to do so.

"So… You sure you aren't gonna get drunk?"

Aguri snorted at her attempt at a joke and watched the sky next to her. But he made sure that there was a considerable distance between them.

"I doubt that. I'm not much of a lightweight.."

"Is that so? How many drinks until you go black-out drunk?"

He stifled a laugh."Seven…" he answered, feeling his forearm get punched by Victoria in disapproval.

"How uncouth. I'm surprised you haven't had alcohol poisoning yet." She looked away from him.

Aguri smiled playfully."I don't drink all the time, princess." He replied, getting another scowl out of her.

Not long after was silence brought in.

Until Victoria decided to break it by speaking.

"You did well. Your acting is more impressive than I initially thought." Her words brought a softer, less playful smile to Aguri's face.

"Thanks… I'll give you another thanks for putting up with me." This time it was Victoria's turn to stifle her laughter. It was adorable to witness in his eyes.

"Well, it was hard to…" her head leaned against her hand as she glanced at Aguri with his apparent wine stains on his blouse.

And out of nowhere, silence had returned to seamlessly disrupt their conversation. And it lasted a little longer. About nine minutes, at most.

And this time it was Aguri who broke the silence, hoping it would finally stop interrupting them.

"Can I get your number?" He asked abruptly. And he successfully managed to get a shock out of Victoria, as she backed away with a stunned but otherwise cute expression on her face.

"What? Why?" She questioned, "Why would you ask for my number?"

Hell, even Aguri didn't know the answer to that. And he simply shrugged."Just because. Kinda wanted to mess with Vil a little by getting to know you a little more…"

He didn't even know if that was a lie or not. If anything, Aguri couldn't tell what was true or false. Even if the words came from himself.

Although she hesitated, Victoria took hold of Aguri's phone and began typing. He felt his jaw drop a little, is she gonna give him her number?

After a couple of seconds of waiting, she handed him his phone."There. Now my number is there." She stated firmly.

Waiting in silence, Victoria now felt a little awkward. Did- Did I do something-

Her thoughts were interrupted by a low chuckle. That transitioned into stifling laughter.

"Hahaha… Thanks, princess."

Victoria frowned, rolling her eyes and looking away from him.

"Don't take it lightly."

"Pffft- Don't worry, I won't."

──ㅇ─────↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺───ㅇ────

Tagging:

@starry-night-rose @nem0-nee @authoruio @fumikomiyasaki @windbornearchon @sakuramidnight15 @geminiiviolets @knights-escort @twsted-princess @crazyyanderefangirlfan

[mediaconsumernightwriter]

driver's license: A Music Retrospective

2021 was the year. We were still knee deep in the global pandemic and needed some drama to entertain ourselves. Then it came. A newcomer to the music industry, Olivia Rodrigo, dropped her first single (outside of her work in the Disney show High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (yes, that’s the real name of the show)) and it was called driver’s license. It immediately resonated with people, especially teenage girls, and her talent was evident in the track. However, people wanted to know, as they always do, who this emotional song was about.

So the people dug through the mud to find him. And find him they did. This person was Joshua Bassett, Olivia’s co-star in HSMTMTS (I’m not writing that full name again). And who was “the blonde girl” Rodrigo sang about? None other than Sabrina Carpenter, who was seen close and personal with Joshua. This is the simple run down of the characters in this piece.

Since it all started with driver’s license, we will start with Olivia’s music. Most of SOUR is about her relationship (and her break up) with Joshua. Some songs really work for me and others not so much. I’m not one for the ballads and “sad girl music”. But some of Olivia’s vocals and harmonies, combined with the simple and direct lyrics, make great sad music. In retrospect, I do like GUTS better than SOUR, but it’s pretty solid for a debut. It is noticeable through her lyricism that Joshua really hurt Olivia, whether he meant to or not.

Next we will examine Sabrina’s responses, plural, because one was more successful than the other. I must say I’ve been a fan of Sabrina since Girl Meets World (another Disney show and, yes, a spin-off of Boy Meets World) and her music really is more my style. So musically, I will be biased to her. However, her first response to this drama was to release Skin, a not so polished song that feels like a diss track against Olivia, including the line “maybe blonde was the only rhyme” (referring to the “blonde girl” lyric in driver’s license). As I stated before, it’s clear Olivia was really hurt by Joshua and Sabrina’s relationship, so releasing a song where you brag about having the man on your arm instead of her doesn’t seem like a smart move. Fortunately everyone forgot about that release and she was able to create her album emails i can’t send and her new response to the drama. And I say “response to the drama” and not to Olivia, because the song this time is much more focused on the aftermath of driver’s license. because i liked a boy is a really well constructed and, more importantly, well thought out song, where Sabrina unleashes her frustrations with what happened to her because of Olivia’s song. Death threats were sent to her and Olivia did nothing to stop them, while Joshua appealed to the goodness of Olivia’s fans. Sabrina’s only crime was, as she sings in the chorus, liking a boy. And she also reveals that “when everything went down, we’d already broken up”. Sabrina’s side results in a near flawless pop album (where not all of the songs are about Joshua) and it’s better than SOUR in my opinion, but it’s almost like she’s been doing it longer than Olivia.

Joshua’s side was the latest I arrived at and, to be honest, I’m glad I did. Let the ladies get their versions out before I analyse the man’s in the situation. When I did research on this topic (because I didn’t know what songs to listen to on Joshua’s part), the song Lie Lie Lie showed up the most. It feels like a slap to Olivia’s face. It’s evident that Olivia was pouring her heart out into her art and Lie Lie Lie just downplays it all. Then, I listened to the rest of Joshua’s discography and found some other songs that could apply to the situation, though I’m not sure they are about Olivia. Only A Matter of Time is also about how this person is lying about a certain situation (“you twisted your words like a knife”) that could be applied to Olivia’s album. Crisis is a more inward look into the drama, claiming Joshua also suffered from this whole affair. The lyrics seem to implicate Olivia’s album and attitude after the release of her music, with lines like: “If you get to tell your truth, so do I”, ”Messing with my life as a career move” and “You sensationalise, keep fanning the flames for the headlines''. And finally, the song SHE SAID HE SAID SHE SAID refers back to the drama, the rumours around the couple and Sabrina and how it’s all “he said she said” and we’ll never know exactly what happened with these three. Musically, Joshua’s side is the weakest, in my opinion, and he doesn’t have the lyricism and production that the girls have. It’s not my type of music, even less than Olivia’s, this style of “sad boy music” is getting tiresome to me.

To finalize this analysis, I want to say that I don’t hate any part involved and if anything good came of this, it was the amazing music. Go stream all of the sides and decide for yourself who “won” this drama, or just enjoy all sides equally. I can’t tell you what to do, I’m not your mother.