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madschiavelique · 3 months ago

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Can I request a Gale, Astarion and Wyll with a gn! Reader who has epileptic seizures? I’ve had them since I was a kid and for me they usually happen within an hour of me waking up. Luckily I’ve been seizure free for a year so far!! :)

I understand if you are uncomfortable writing this!

hi love!! first of all CONGRATS ON THE ONE YEAR SEIZURE FREE !!! second of all i'm sorry i took so long to write it but i wanted to document myself first to write that properly! i have no idea if i made justic to it, and i would love for you to give me some returns in case i didn't portray it well <33 special little note of thank you for my friend @duffyyy911 who helped me greatly to write this !!!

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ characters : gale, astarion, wyll

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ content warning : none, mostly comfort (as far as i know), gender neutral reader, no use of y/n

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ words : 966 ( ~ 300 per characters)

( not proofread, english is not my first language ☆)

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ gale :

Chances are that, completely unbeknownst to him in the first place, gale was the one to make have you start a seizure.

Poor guy was just casting dancing lights or colour spray, and the next thing you knew you were on the ground, and he was completely lost.

He had read one too many books, many about spells and a few conditions. He was no doctor, but he was a wizard that had sufficient magical knowledge and an unrelenting hunger for reading who was ready to do anything to help his companions.

He was quick to help, although a bit overthrown by panic and surprise, he tried using the most of his spell slots possible to keep you in place and keep a proper eye on you until it was all over.

After that incident, you can be assured that in every city or village or places you passed that he would be on the hunt for a library with as much information on the seizures as possible.

He was alert at all times, remaining at your side in case anything happened.

You can be assured that he’d always have a scroll of Hold Person on him to cast, a spell of Resistance or Sanctuary ready to crack under his fingers, preparing Sleep, Feign Death or Slow to ensure at any times that whatever might cause a seizure could be countered by his thorough preparation and attention.

He’d arrange the softest bed for you, whatever pillows and spells he could use to get you to have some proper restorative sleep were all cast and placed under you.

He’d read by your side, waiting for you to wake up and simply looking after you. He’d kiss your forehead when you’d start moving, softly emerging from your much comfortable slumber.

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ astarion :

At first, Astarion thought it was a joke, or at least some accidental fall from you when walking on some of the ice that made you prone after a quite stressful fight.

But you were starting to be strangely prone, the kind that looked quite painful.

“Come on, I know ceremorphosis or whatever the name of it is couldn’t have caught up to you just now darling.”

But as Shadowheart came to help you, a look of worry in her eye, Astarion’s chest clenched.

“It’s not a joke, Astarion. It’s a damned seizure.”

He immediately came to your side to help Shadowheart, panicked and feeling like a complete idiot. “Are they okay ? Are they dying ?!”

After positioning you correctly on the ground, Shadowheart reassured him that you were not nearing any death at the moment.

It is only after the seizure had passed and some well deserved rest on your part that he asked you questions about the event.

On one hand, he’d try to find some sort of positivity in this situation. “We can just live a vampire life you know, hiding from the sun would be a great start.” But he would find that if you’re in the dark all the time, wouldn’t it just make it easier to induce a seizure then ?

So at first, he’d have no idea as to how he’s supposed to help you. But with the help of Shadowheart eventually, he’d pick up on the things to do next time.

He knew how to place you properly, what to do to just ensure that you’d be safe no matter what, and was always here to take you to bed after a seizure happened.

He’d look after you while asleep, threatening anybody in the camp that if they were to make any loud sounds or anything that could wake you up, he’d make sure to make them his next meal.

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ wyll :

If there is one thing the blade of frontiers doesn’t know how to handle, it is you, the leader of the group, having a seizure.

He has fought many enemies in his years, but one that comes from within his partner is a whole new one.

When you went into a seizure for the first time in front of him, you were just practicing some of the basic magic and swordsmanship that Wyll had knowledge of at camp. Your target was the trunk of an old dead tree, and Wyll wanted to show you - mostly impress you - by casting an Eldritch Blast to straight up destroy it.

Multiple crimson zaps and flashes crisped the air as he perfectly hit the trunk, turning to you with a proud smile, “See, just like th-” but he stopped dead in his words as he saw you on the ground.

He knelt immediately, throwing his sword away as he placed his hand on your shoulder calling your name repeatedly.

In complete and utter panic, his eyes not leaving you, he heard strong steps stomping the ground. Next second, Halsin came next to the both of you, his sixth sense for the ones in need calling for him.

“What’s happening to them ?” Wyll would ask, his voice breaking as he watched how Halsin gently placed you on your side on the ground.

“Just a seizure,” Halsin explained, concentrating on examining you, “do you know if they are stressed ? did they drink properly since this morning ? any bright flashes of light happened before that ?”

Wyll’s heart got tight in his chest as he realised his desire to impress you had caused this to start. After getting reassured by Halsin who explained to him how to handle such situations in the future, he stayed with you next to your bed, waiting for you to wake up.

He kept holding your hand all the way till you woke up, his guilt still holding his stomach in a tight knot. You reassured him about it, explaining to him your symptoms, how it’d happen like Halsin had mentioned, and kissed his trouble away.

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yuseirra · 20 days ago

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**alien stage final round spoilers**

I really enjoy looking at the feelings and relationship dynamics between characters when I see a work. I feel I got a better grasp of/understood that aspect after seeing that most recent alien stage video, so I'd enjoy talking about it. Before I begin, I respect all the canon interactions and appreciate what they give us. The major "ships" for this, I am aware of, they are all very valid and I find all of them intriguing and interesting to see!

This particular stage, I feel, shows a really good insight of how Ivan and Till's love's are conveyed in contrast to each other.

Ivan appears to be very mannerly and he's very kind towards the fans, giving a lot of fanservice, he's the "good boy" of the group (excluding Luka who's simply "made for the stage") while Till tends to be the rebel. He swears towards the aliens, tries to run away, and does the unexpected on stage, he's a loose cannon as they say, but when it comes to "love", their attitudes tend to be the complete opposite.

It appears that Ivan's feelings towards Till is very complex for it to be defined simply as "love"(although I believe it is) although he's reserved on the outside, I feel he's the one has the hardest time dealing with his own emotions, since it does exist, but even he himself can't actually make out what they are. Idk how it's been translated but I saw him defining what he had towards Till as "shallow(얄팍한)" and apologizing to him as being his victim of it, I think it's the contrary. It's way too muddled and complicated, the artbook also mentions that he'd be the only one who can know what that feeling he has towards Till is. And I'm not even sure if he himself does in a complete sense. What I can see is that he does care. However, it seems like Ivan doesn't know how to care for Till in a way that'd come across to Till in a way that he'd like. In turn, he keeps acting in a way that'd provoke him to make the guy look back at him. He ruins the flowers Till treasures that he's received from Mizi, punches him, follows him around, nudges him, and acts pretty imposing and unpredictable when it comes to Till, he does things that Till doesn't want. It's out of his interest and fondness but it just can't come across to Till as a good thing. He doesn't hate him (he's still pretty fond of Ivan when I read the artbook) but finds him annoying. The artbook defines Ivan's feeling as one-sided, and sadly, it is very much that way. Ivan is the one that looks most mature out of the 4 kids that grew up together (Sua, Mizi, Till and Ivan himself) but they phrase Ivan as someone who's grown in terms of body but has never matured from being a child (P 208, 211 in the artbook) The problem here is that he never learned how to express his feeling properly. It always... ends up in a way that hurts Till. Till fails to comprehend or make out just what's happened as he sees Ivan dead in the final moments of stage 6. While Ivan manages to achieve his desired results of having Till finally look back at him, that's also all he gets. It was predictable, though. I feel like they'd have had a much friendlier relationship if they grew up in a normal, humane environment. In the end, Ivan does realize he's being selfish. I personally believe it's both selfish and selfless, a bit similar to how Sua was towards Mizi. They do things for the other but also, they do realize it's what the other party wouldn't enjoy/fully comprehend while they do it. But they can't help it since they want the other to survive.

Till's feelings for Mizi has been always there, I kind of feel it could get overshadowed a lot from how immensely big and impactful Ivan's actions have been portrayed throughout the series, but I really appreciate how they acknowledged Till's feelings for her's also something that's very genuine and what's gave him light. I read that the idea that Till had a crush on Mizi was there from the very early stages of development from the artbook. That's a crucial part of his character. And unlike how the usual "reserved and gentle" Ivan can get pretty aggressive to get a reaction out of Till (nothing against Ivan, just analyzing) Till's love is also pretty much unrequited, but he acts very selfless and gentle towards Mizi, he never does anything that'd.. affect her in a strong sense except for trying to express his feelings through music. While Ivan pokes, punches, grabs, kisses his love to get his attention, Till tends to blush and run away. This guy is very aware of what his feelings towards Mizi is, yet I think he understood his position and how much Mizi loves Sua so he keeps at a distance. His commentary about Mizi is that he believes "she's the most beautiful being in the entire universe and he felt reborn when she smiled at him." Oh wait?? he's an INFP??? REALLY??? Looking at the artbook and..;;hshshg to imagine an INFP acting like him.. oh, he must have suffered A LOT;; I guess he was always on edge in those harsh conditions then. His feelings towards Mizi didn't really come across so much either, as it is said she thought Till was evading her, she wanted to be more friendly with him being the jolly and sweet person she is though.

The outcome for these two are very similar but different. When I watched Till's fate..(yeah, I was shocked he almost NEVER stood a chance against Luka despite how good he is too;;) I think I felt sad, but I was.. also happy for him that he realized Mizi does genuinely care for him. What Ivan got wasn't mutual, Till didn't understand.. and he was engraved, but as a source of trauma (I find this inevitable though seeing how that stage played out). Mizi smiled at Till and he was so happy to see her again he immediately lit up and tried to reach out to her while the stage was still going on, their eyes meet, the way Ivan and Till did on the previous stage, but it was welcoming and out of glee. Of course the one Mizi loves is Sua, but it was sweet to see Mizi really caring for Till as a friend. He's also what she's wanted to save, and Till was suffering after he thought Mizi was gone, but he got that sense of relief in his last moments. There was a comment I found that I found was quite insightful about this situation. He doesn't ask much in return, he always was that person that'd accept and appreciate what she gave him. Was that really enough for Till? I'm not sure but, he was still happy from everything Mizi had given him. I do see Ivan having a harder time being the same way because Till would have been so focused on Mizi to look back at him if he was as passive and accepting as Till was to her, and besides, I think the type of "love" they have may not exactly be the same although it can be categorized as "love". "Love" comes in many different forms and it grew in ways that were affected by their environment and personalities. I appreciate how that was depicted. I feel Till's love towards Mizi is just as powerful as Ivan's love towards Till was, it displays the different types of one-sided love.

I can talk about Sua and Mizi's dynamic too, with that I'd be talking about all the four major ships (I talked about Hyuna and Luka in another post earlier!) but maybe I'll do that another time.

However, I'd still like to mention what I found interesting in the artbook! They say that Sua wanted to protect Mizi's naivety and shield her from reality, because she found salvation in it. It was a place of escape for her, they say (p44) she gave Mizi hope that there would be a good ending, and that's how Mizi completely broke down the moment Sua was gone. Mizi really didn't see it coming while Sua actually did as she sang. Sua wanted to remain in that moment forever with Mizi, they say (p39) she depended on Mizi as much as Mizi did for her. The artbook gives out a really good insight in terms of about how the characters feel about things and it's very colorful and thick and great to see in general, so I recommend you to buy it if you are interested in the series. I'm not a hardcore fan of this piece (yet) but it was still worth every penny to me so, I bet it'd be a gem for those who really care for it~

#alien stage #ivantill #tillmizi #mizisua #alnst #spoilers

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pestilentbrood · 1 year ago

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VERY long Ramble incoming

honestly now that I'm looking at the auraboa lore situation, I'm just disappointed. There was such POTENTIAL in the idea of the Loop and the horror of a new generation inexplicably being disconnected from it, forcing the newly hatched children into a world totally separate from that perceived by their parents (I mean, hell, they perceive TIME differently!).... but then the writer(s?) just fell ass backwards into Icky Tropes.

I feel like I can see what the idea was, especially with the recent alterations to the Encyclopedia entry... It seems like staff fundamentally understands the true Horror potential here, but... Instead, through the short story, they proposed it through the lens of a condescending outsider character, turning the fears of the older generation into something trivial. And also weirdly demeaning the Auroboa's situation by portraying them as overreacting.

Why... why would you do that? Like, from a storytelling perspective? What's gained from that? Why not embrace the true horror and even Emotional significance of that disruption? Why instead go for "ohh we NEED outsider help we NEED to be saved because we are so helpless and it is so Silly that we, creatures who have never experienced such things, do not know what sleep is"????

And if they WANTED to have a condescending outsider, I feel like they COULD have done that, but it would have to have that character realize the horror at some point. And make it obvious that their attitude towards distressed parents and children facing Eldritch Shit and the Sudden Deconstruction of it was not cool!

(or at the very least be a bit more...idk. Consistent with said outsider character? Juniper just goes from "omg I am so honored that the fascinating creatures of the behemoth have chosen me to speak to" to "oh their wasting my time because they don't know what sleep is. I'd rather be sleeping!! 🙄" like girl... c'mon now. Why are we trivializing it like this. Do you want me as the reader to be invested in their plight or not.)

I mean come on. They're beings connected through one networked hivemind-like system, yet each still maintains a silver of individuality that allows them to move freely throughout the Behemoth that they care for. And they've got an eldritch understanding of time that no other dragon could understand. They're seeing the future, past, and present unfold simultaneously. They're witnessing the birth and death of the world at the same time, and have no way to communicate it to other dragons. The best they can do is maintain their home, and even then, they see its roots spread and decay all at once.

And then the newest generation is suddenly disconnected. An inherent link between parent and child and all dragons in-between, that has existed since the creation of their species, is just suddenly GONE for the newest births. With NO explanation for it. The children have no easy way of communicating with their parents. The children are experiencing time in a way that was not meant for their species. They've forcefully been shoved into a circadian rhythm that they are Not! Built for!

The only way a parent could communicate properly with their child would be when the latter is sleeping, something that is also completely foreign to this species. It would be terrifying for all involved!!!

They are literally experiencing eldritch horror from the perspective of the eldritch being forced into the mortal.

Like why WOULDN'T there be panic!!! And why would that panic be trivialized! Why are we only shown the perspective of an outsider who looks at this situation and goes "Oh the silly tree beasts are being so silly over nothing, it's no big deal!"

That and the way the auraboas talk to outsiders. Like. There was such potential there. Real opportunity to explore how ancient, time-bending beings would communicate to someone who couldn't even BEGIN to understand the intricacies of it.

Instead we got what feels more like baby talk (even described as though they were hatchlings enunciating their first words, which... I dunno man, maybe we don't want to compare them to children like That) and less like... Beings that experience all of time at once. I mean, the hatchlings and the adults speak the exact same way, and that doesn't make any sense given the literal time barrier going on.

I totally get why people thought there was just a language barrier and that auraboas had their own language, thus causing the disjointed speak, and not that it was because They Do Not Experience Time Like We Do. And I feel it would've been far easier to get it across by just... I dunno. Do anything else?? I saw someone on here suggest they speak in the "wrong" tenses, or using multiple tenses in the same sentence, which I think would've been far more clear.

Like, as opposed to "saplings wilt! saplings silent!" just "the saplings will wilt in silence, they've wilted in silence, they are wilting silently." Said all at once like all things are true simultaneously. And if we're going for hivemind, have each auraboa speak in a different tense, all at the same time, and have them switch it up every time. Have our outsider get confused and be like "which is it? are they wilting now, or have they already wilted?" and the cluster of auraboas respond in a cacophony of yes's, no's, and maybe's all at once.

Would've probably gotten across the "alien" vibe they were supposedly going for far better than wide-eyed desperation for an outsider's guidance conveyed through disjointed, in-world described as baby speech.

And also maybe would've had less accidental connotations. Because as it stands, I completely see why people have made the connections to the real world where they have. This doesn't read like eldritch timey-wimey intrigue, or even a respectful look at how younger generations can become detached from their families' cultures over time and the struggles that come with it. It reads like a culture being perceived by an ignorant outsider who (despite supposedly respecting these dragons) scoffs and rolls their eyes because the tree beasts with their funny words are being silly again, and that Hey, isn't it actually a great thing that the children are fundamentally different in all manners now? Because now they can join the rest of us in the "real world."

Yknow. Ick.

(I Personally think it would've been better to have the perspective be one of the Auraboas themselves, especially one of the children, to really understand what was going on here. Give us the full brunt of the mind of a creature experiencing all of time interwoven as one shape. The waters fall and the oceans crash with waves. They've now fallen to drought. The ocean has yet to be born. Caves have been carved out through the waters' currents. And when I break from this timeline, I open my eyes to see a child, the child not yet born, the child born now, the child born yesterday. Why can't I hear it? Why couldn't I hear it? Why won't I ever hear it?)

I dunno. People more qualified than me to speak on this matter have already torn the lore apart, I'm just... dropping my own two cents. Potential got weirdly squandered and we ended up instead with unfortunate implications and tropes that could be connected a liiiittle too awkwardly to irl situations.

*Also, before anyone points out: Yes, I know the hatchlings aren't COMPLETELY detached from the Loop and can join it when they sleep. But the fact is, these thangs never had to sleep before. That wasn't in their species' nature. So that's still weird and foreign for them on both sides. And since the hatchlings now have a circadian rhythm, they can't stay connected to the loop permanently. And also Also, seeing as the previous generations aren't experiencing time linearly, who's to say they even recognize when their child joins the loop? They'll speak with an echo of their child when that child was last asleep ages ago, not knowing that it's not them presently, because there is no 'present' for the older generations.

#i also really really do not understand the ''word count'' explanation given by staff.#I'm honestly rather lenient with ignorance happenings like this so long as they're remedied but.#cutting out important details of lore Fundamental to the understanding of it? For? ''Word count''?#Like firstly. Surely someone on the team is skilled enough to pull that off right? To get all that needs to be said in a short story?#but secondly. w. why is there a word count limit to begin with. This is Your House. Why are you limiting yourself unless this is like #a paid-by-word situation and they don't have the money to afford something longer #but like it feels like shooting yourself in the foot if you're going to write something that leaves a ton of information vague instead of #properly explaining your lore so there's no unfortunate misunderstandings. But I dunno. I'm just rambling #flight rising #fr auraboa #I'll probably be incorporating my Own version of the lore regardless of what the staff decides to do with this presentation of it #or just ignoring it outright hskdgjhskjh we shall See #Also if anything I've said here is Wrong in some way or comes across ignorant in and of itself. Let me know

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writingquestionsanswered · 10 months ago

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Showing Character's Confusion

Anonymous asked: My protagonist learns his friend is a doppelgänger and I'm trying to describe the "off" feeling he gets when they reconnect (at the beginning of my story) and he realizes something is wrong. I'm not sure if I should show vs tell since the reader doesn't have experience with the non-doppelgänger version of the friend. I have visual cues that he isn't the same person, but I want to illustrate the unease the protagonist feels around him even though he knows he shouldn't feel that way around his "friend." I thought about having the "friend" hesitate about things he should know, but I don't want to do that all the time. I hope this all makes sense!

[Ask edited for length]

Doppelgängers are portrayed in a variety of ways in folklore and stories, so it's important that you flesh out the rules and conventions by which this doppelgänger operates. For example, does this character know anything about their double? Only some things? What dictates what they do and don't know? Or how much they know? It's important to flesh this out, because you need to know what behaviors (beyond not remembering certain things) serve as red flags to your character that show there's something off.

Think about things like the friend's likes and dislikes, pet peeves, fears, desires, dreams, goals, hobbies and interests, skills and knowledge, past experiences, etc. This will give you some ideas of things the doppelgänger might behave strangely about. For example, maybe the friend hates chips and salsa, but the doppelgänger eagerly gobbles some up one night at dinner. Maybe the friend eats a lot of Mexican food and took Spanish in high school, so it's very concerning when they order a "kwes-uh-dill-uh" rather than saying quesadilla properly. Perhaps the friend loves dogs, but the doppelgänger seems to be afraid of them.

These different aspects of personality can show up in a variety of ways in our lives, so they offer lots of possibilities for showing this character's unexpected behavior rather than you outright stating it. The only other thing you have to do is make sure the reader sees that your character is confused. This can be accomplished a few different ways. For the sake of the example, we'll go with the scenario of the friend (who'd wanted to be a lawyer) scoffing at the notion of seeing a popular legal personality speak. Let's say your character suggests it, and this is their response... "Uh, no thanks," Doppelgänger said with a dismissive wave. "I don't know who Marcia Shapian is and I'm not interested in hearing her speak."

Here are different ways you could show your character's confusion and feeling that something is off: -- Exposition, Telling: It struck Larry as odd that Pete wouldn't jump at the chance to go see Marcia Shapian speak.

-- Exposition, Showing: Larry's brow crumpled. "Yeah, no worries," he said, trying not to frown. "We can go to a movie instead."

-- Internal Monologue: "Yeah, no worries," Larry said. That. Was. Weird. Pete loves Marcia Shapian...

-- Dialogue: "Really? You don't want to see Marcia Shapian? You used to worship the ground she walked on. I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

Happy writing!

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wordsaresimple-imnot · 7 months ago

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Drunken Confessions - Bill Guarnere x F!Reader (1st POV)

Summary: The boys and reader are out for a night of fun and drinking that leaves the reader with little to no memories of what happened after she had a drinking contest with Babe. As things slowly start to drift back to her, she remembers one thing clearly; she spilled her true feelings about Bill to someone. But who did she tell?

Warnings: none really, cursing per usual. No use of y/n or physical description. She/her pronouns.

A/N: I have the biggest respect for the real life heroes of WWII (and all other wars, past & current), this work & all other works is based on the actor(s) and character(s) portrayed in the Band of Brothers series.

A/N pt2: This turned out longer than I thought it would starting out, but I let the fanfic gods guide my fingers and here we are, haha. If anyone likes this enough, I have an idea of a next day smut part 2 I can write. Comments, likes, and reblogs make my day. Thanks for reading!

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I wasn't sure what made me wake up. Maybe the skull splitting headache, or maybe the sun shining through the blinds hitting my face, or maybe the way I'd sell everything I owned for water or maybe my bladder being so full that a single sneeze would cause a mess. Whatever the reason, the barest of movements to open my eyelids made me want to die instantly. The only motivation I could grasp onto to get up was to empty my bladder. Dying from a hangover is one thing, dying in my own piss is not something I could ever live with. The logic of my thought made no sense, but what the hell did I care as I practically crawled to the bathroom.

Once I was relieved and able to draw the last bit of strength I had to splash water on my face and half-ass brush my teeth, I made it back to my bed with a little more dignity. Okay, it was still on my knees but at least I wasn't crawling. A win is a win. A full glass of water on my bedside table catches my eye and I down it quicker than I've ever done before, well except for maybe the drinks last night. How did this get here? No way I was coherent enough to pour a glass of water for myself to wake up to.

As I got more situated in the bed, very much facing away from the windows because I couldn't bring myself to gather any more will power to close them more properly I couldn't stop thinking about the glass of water. And then it hit me that I was not in my dress from the night before or even just my underwear but pajamas. Being aware of how little my brain and motor skills actually worked together when I'm more than tipsy, these things stood out. What the hell happened last night? I tried to focus on my last memories of the previous night hoping that would shed some light on my current situation.

~~ last night ~~

"Oh come on! Are y'all scared to lose to little ole me?" I smiled sweetly to the table, making my southern accent a little heavier to hopefully sway one of them to take on my challenge.

"None of us would lose against you, doll. We just don't want to deal with you tomorrow morning." Toye said, motioning around the table before pointing his finger directly at me. I rolled my eyes and leaned a little closer over the table.

"Nah, I'm sweet as pie darlin'. I think y'all don't want the news spreading that someone in Easy Company lost to a little farmer girl." I smirked at Toye and the rest of the men, daring them to deny it.

"Fuck it, I'll do it." Babe shot up from the end of the table and made his way over towards my section. I beamed at his cocky smiled and made shooing motions to Luz and Perco to make space so he could sit across from me. With a nod to Liebgott, I watched him go off to grab us our first rounds of beer.

As Liebgott made his way back holding two beers, I see Bull, Martin, and Bill following him from the bar.

"The fuck are you doing?" Bill's eyes bounced back and forth between me and Babe. Unsure of who was directing the question to, I shrugged and decided to answer.

"Babe thinks he can handle a drinkin' contest with me." I shoot Babe a wink as he narrows his eyes a little at me. I look back up to Bill when I hear him curse and turn more fully to Babe.

"Haven't I taught you anything? Don't start shit you can't win." He's poking Babe in the chest with every other word, making the other bat his hand away.

"Who says I ain't gonna win? Look at her, she's like a flower. This will be over by the third beer." Babe sits up straighter, setting determined eyes on me. He starts to look more annoyed than ever when Luz, Bull, and Tab start laughing.

"Anyone else, I'd say you had a chance. But she," Tab throws his arm over my shoulders, jostling me into his side, "has come the closest out of all of us to beating Bull. She lost, but damn it was amazing to watch." I give Tab a playful shove, righting myself back to a sitting position.

Babe's face has paled a little but somehow manages to look even more determined to see this through. "I'm still in."

"Perfect!" I smile at him, raising my glass to cheers him. "If I win, you have to be my shadow all day tomorrow to take care of me. If I win, you can get my cigarettes for the next two supply packages."

"Deal." Babe cheers me back, and we take our first sips of beer simultaneously. Bill looks beyond annoyed, muttering 'It's your funeral' and starts back to the bar. Bull sends me a wink, Martin a smile, and then follow behind Bill.

"Buckle up, Philly boy. You're in for a ride." I shoot a final wink at him, and then start inhaling my beer. Babe's shocked face and scramble to follow my lead is the last full coherent memory of that night.

I groan in frustration as the rest of the night seems to dissolve from my mind and I can't comfortably say I know what is fiction and what really happened. I have a vague feeling dancing with Tab, Luz and Toye probably happened. Drinking usually turned to dancing in my case. I prayed that singing at the bar with Malarkey and Muck was fiction. It feels like a huge gap is missing after that (please be fictional) memory and then slivers of different memories start floating out. Suddenly I'm in a cold sweat as bits start floating in.

"He's alright but doesn't hold a candle to Bill. When he actually smiles, it's like seeing the sun shine."

"You can't tell him any of this. Swear it."

"No, I know his eyes and yours are too dark. His are warm and beautiful with small flecks of gold in them. I could drown in those eyes forever."

Fuck me, fuck my parents for having me, fuck my grandparents and ancestors for having them, fuck fuck fuck. I take it back, I'd happily sing drunk songs with Malarkey and Muck for the rest of my life if I can take those words back. And just when I thought my life couldn't get worse, I shot up in bed and another fact hits me...I don't know who I said all of those things to. FUCK!

Hours later, I'm still in bed trying to make myself remember anything about my mystery companion or at the very least come up a way to turn back time. Just as my stomach growls for the fourth time, there's a knock on my door and then it's swinging open. I jump up again for the second time that day.

"Hey sleeping beauty, how's the hangover?" Luz asks, all bright eyes and smiles as Babe follows behind him looking exactly how I feel. I shift up the bed to make room for Luz to sprawl out at the foot of the bed while Babe just curls into a ball next to me, back to the window and sunlight.

"I feel like death." I manage to croak out. It's the first time I've used my voice since passing out last night and you'd swear I smoked like a chimney from the sound.

"You look it too." Luz narrowly dodges the pillow I throw at his face. The movements cause Babe to give a pathetic whine and he curls up even more. "I don't know who pissed in your coffee, but this is not how a winner should be acting." I roll my eyes, smiling briefly as I get confirmation that I did win last night. My stomach growling again wipes it from my face.

"I'm starving. And if I won, that means you're my personal shadow all day today to help me feel better." I give Babe a small nudge, just enough to make him crack an eye open to look at me. "Y'all head down to the mess hall and get me two of everything while I get ready and meet you there."

After a few seconds of Babe making no moves to get up, Luz jumps up and all but starts dragging him towards the door. "Come on, Babe, you heard your mistress." Because his hands are full with Babe, he can't dodge the pillow I throw and gives out a low 'ow' as it connects with his face.

Just as they were about to close the door, I blurted out the question I've been trying to figure out. "Hey, who helped me home last night?"

"Not sure doll, I was playing darts with Martin, Bull and Babe." Luz almost had the door closed when he poked his back back in. "Why do you ask?"

I shrug, praying it comes out nonchalant while I'm dying inside. "Just needed to ask them a question. I think I lost something on the way home and just wondered if they knew about it." Something being my dignity. "Don't worry about it, I'll figure it out. Thanks." With a nod, Luz closed the door and left me to agonize alone.

The rest of the day was the most frustrating day of my life. Not because of the hangover, that started feeling better after I got some food and water, with a splash of hair of the dog, in me. Babe started to perk up too but was still definitely battling it so I took mercy on him and let him go back to sleep until his turn for patrol that night. I had the day off from helping Nixon censor mail and finalize reports so that didn't add to my frustrations. No, all of my frustration was because I spent the whole day tracking down the guys and asking who helped me home. They all gave the same answer: wasn't me.

Through my investigating, I was able to piece a loose timeline of the night. Once our game was over, I started dancing with Tab, the next song went to Luz, and I somehow managed to drag Toye out for the one after that. Once they all declined another song, I went to the bar to get another drink and ended up singing two bar songs with Malarkey and Muck, who afterwards started up a card game with Toye, Tab and Penkala that went on the rest of the time. I apparently stayed at the bar, chatting with Bull, Martin and Bill till Luz and Babe came over and got them to play darts the rest of the night. Liebgott kept me company at the bar, making sure I started on water but eventually left to start flirting with the barmaid that kept making eyes at him. My last hope was Perco but someone told me he left before I did to get some sleep before his morning patrol.

Just as the sun started to drift down, I was at my wits end. As a last ditch effort, I decided to write up a timeline diagram to triple check that everyone was accounted for. Surely one of the guys was lying to me and waiting to use my confessions as leverage for something. I move everything on my desk to one side and start making my diagram. By my third review of it, I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something. So I write all of the men's names down and start checking them off as I mentally go over the stories again.

Luz...check. Bull...check. Perco...check. Babe...check. Liebgott...check. Tab...check. Toye...check. Muck...check. Malarkey...check. Martin...check. Penkala...check. There's no one left. I was just a lunatic talking to myself and somehow managed to get myself home and in bed like a sober person? Just as I was about to commit to believing that I realized I left one name off the list that didn't show up in anyone's story long enough to be crossed off. Bill...fuck.

I crumbled the paper and practically sprinted to my room, dodging soldiers and helpers like a madwoman. There was more foot traffic as the morning and evening patrol were switching foxholes and dinner was currently going. I managed to catch Babe on his way towards the mess hall and made him swear to tell everyone I was still feeling sick and would be in my room the rest of the night. Thankfully he was still feeling sick, so he took me at my word and didn't pay attention to my erratic behavior.

Back in my room I couldn't decide what I was more humiliated about; spilling my secret feelings about Bill TO Bill or being so drunk I don't know it was Bill I was even talking to. With a belly flop I landed on my bed, pressed my face into my pillow and let out a full body scream. Just as it ended there was a knock on my door.

"Go away, I'm dying." I moved my face to the side so whoever was there could somewhat hear me. It wasn't from drinking but hey, semantics at this point. The knock came again, this time more forceful. "Seriously, whoever is there just let me be." With a huff I push myself off the bed and swing open the door to reveal the cause of all my misery. Bill fucking Guarnere. Fuck me.

He's leaning against the door frame without a care in the world it seems and his signature smirk on his face. He'd never looked better. "You know my ma and sisters would come all the way over here and beat my ass if they ever found out I let a woman be miserable all alone. Especially without food." He raised a small bag to emphasize his point. Without waiting for me to answer, he brushed past me into my room and sat squarely on the bed, leaning against the wall, watching me.

Who knows how long it took my brain to send the right signals to make my body move, but eventually I broke our staring contest, closed the door and made my way to the bed. Because I was basically Nix's aid, I was able to get my own room but it was the barest of bare minimums. Side table, joining bathroom, and a bed against the wall. So the only place left to sit was on the bed with Bill, but I tried to put as much distance as I could so I sat crossed legged against the wall acting as the headboard and looked at the bag he still held.

"What's in there?" I decided the best tactic right now was to pretend nothing happened at all. So far Bill seemed to be of the same mind.

"Bread and some cheese. Didn't know how much your stomach could handle." He tossed the bag to me, nodding his acknowledgement to my quick thanks and I tore it open and started nibbling on the contents. After a few beats, he decided the best time to say something was when my mouth was completely full. "So...heard you lost something last night."

Next thing I know I really do feel like I'm dying as I choke on my bite of food, simultaneously batting away his hands that are trying to reach behind to pat my back. After I get small control over my breathing, I wipe the few tears that formed and down the rest of the water I had at my bedside. Two shaky breaths later all I can manage is squeaking out, "What?"

Bill looks at me with a sliver of concern that I'll start hacking up a lung again, but slowly his normal smirk starts to form and he leans back against the wall. "Luz said you were trying to figure out who helped you home last night because you lost something. Toye and Bull said you were pretty aggressive in your questions about everyone's activities last night. If you haven't figured it out already, I was the one that helped you get home from the bar but I don't recall you losing anything." His posture was relaxed, even lazy, but his eyes were hard and jaw was set. Challenging me to make the next move.

I cleared my throat two times, before I forced myself to speak. "Yeah, I actually figured it out a little bit ago." Bill inclined his head towards me, indicating that he wanted me to elaborate on the 'losing something' part. "I, uh, well I was just trying to figure out who helped me and didn't want Luz asking a million and one questions so that seemed the best answer."

"Why didn't you come find me once you figure it all out?" One thing about Bill Guarnere, he never pulled punches and was a hound dog when he set his mind to something.

"No reason...I, uh, well I just..." I turned all my focus on the crumpled paper bag in front of me so I didn't catch his eyes and completely spill my guts. Sober this time.

"Ah come on sweetheart, cat got your tongue now?" He moved to lean down on his arm, shifting closer to me. "Let me help you remember." With that damn, sexy smirk Bill started recounting the night before to fill in the blanks.

~~ last night, Bill POV ~~

I haven't taken my eyes off her all night. If anyone asked I'd say it was out of concern for how much she drank and watching out for a fellow soldier. That was partly true, but the majority was being jealous. Jealous for how easy she laughed and touched and moved with our friends. Don't get it twisted, we are friends too, closer than most of them but it's not as carefree as these moments I'm witnessing.

It can't be carefree because if I let my guard down for one second I'd spill my guts about how she makes me feel. How everything fades out around the edges when she gives that million dollar smile and her eyes crinkle a little at the sides. How I would do anything stupid again and again to make that little snort come out when she's laughing too hard and can't help it. How I want to protect her from this war so damn bad so I never have to see pain in her eyes. How I'd fight the entire Kraut army for the chance to kiss her just once and hold her in my arms.

But I can't say any of that because I'd rather suffer in silence than risk losing her from my life, even as just a friend. So I stay silent and keep watch as everyone around me enjoys their night without a care in the world, not knowing that my entire world is sitting at the bar alone.

She's just started on a second glass of water when some guy from Fox Company slides up next to her and starts talking. Whatever he said has her turning in her seat to point in the direction of Liebgott that left her for some barmaid. While she's focused on where Liebgott is, I'm focused on watching the guy shamelessly check her out. I down the rest of my beer, shove the glass into Luz's hand and march straight over to the bar before any of the guys can ask what I'm doing.

I make it over just as their hands connect and I can hear them exchanging names.

"I can't believe someone as beautiful as you is here all alone." I'm going to brake this guys jaw.

"She's not alone, private." I push myself to my full height and use my Sergeant's voice. This makes him stand up straighter and drop her hand.

"Bill!" She says my name with so much awe and happiness, as if she hadn't be around me in some fashion throughout the night. Being to drunk to care about policy or decorum she wraps her arms around me and gives me the prettiest smile.

"Hey sweetheart," I give her a soft smile back and wrap one arm around her shoulders, keeping her where she is. I look back at the private with a hard glare and raise an eyebrow. "Need something?"

"No sir, I just came to grab a drink. I'll, uh, I'll just get one over there." He practically runs to the other end of the bar, avoiding anymore eye contact.

A soft giggle, makes me look back down and smile again. "What's so funny, doll?"

"You didn't need to scare him, we were just talking." A piece of her hair falls against her cheek when she laughs again. I move it behind her ear, letting my finger graze her cheek before I answer.

"He wanted to do more than talk, believe me."

"What would I do without Bill Guarnere as my knight in shining armor." The smile she sends up to me is nearly enough to send me to my knees right then and there.

I wrap my other arm around her and drop a quick kiss to the top of her head. "You'll never have to find out, sweetheart. I'm always gonna be there." We stay like that for a minute, which isn't nearly long enough before I say, "Come on, lets get you to bed or you're gonna be dyin' tomorrow."

She manages to be get off the barstool and walk out of the bar so efficiently I wonder if she really is as drunk as I thought, but that hope is dashed once she stumbles over air and starts laughing. I can't help but laugh with her as I grab her hands to steady her.

"We should go dancing." She suddenly says and tries to get me to spin her.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Besides you probably want Tab for that, seems to be your favorite dancing partner. Always smiling at you and everything" I meant it to come out as a joke, but it sounded more bitter that anything. Thankfully she was in her own thoughts and didn't pick up the edge to my voice.

"He's alright but he doesn't hold a candle to Bill. When he actually smiles, it's like seeing the sun shine." She says it like it's a known fact and the most natural thing in the world for her say. It stops me dead in my tracks, which stops her because we are still holding hands.

"What did you say?" I tug her a little so she's turned around and looking at me. She gives a small shrug.

"Tab is cute and sweet but he's not Bill. I'd kill to dance with him and make him smile. It's so rare and makes my whole day when I can cause it."

"Sweetheart, you do know I'm Bill." I wait for the lightbulb to go off as she takes a step closer and looks at my face.

"No you're not, you're eyes are too dark."

"They're the same as they've been my whole life."

"No, I know his eyes and yours are too dark. His are warm and beautiful with small flecks of gold in them. I could drown in those eyes forever." She lets go of my hands and starts walking off to her billet. I know I have the goofiest smile on my face as I watch her, before it's wiped away by the realization that she can't remember who I am. Of course I finally get the girl of my dreams to confess her feelings for me and she doesn't even know it's me she's talking to.

Just as I'm catching up to her, trying to figure out what to say, she turns to me with a panic stricken face. "You can't tell him any of this. Swear it." She grasps my hands again, squeezing for dear life.

"Your secrets safe with me, sweetheart." I do my best to give her a comforting smile to ease her panic, which seems to work. We don't talk anymore the rest of the way to her billet but we do hold hands the whole way.

Once we are in her room, I can tell she's losing consciousness quickly. I find some pajamas for her to change into, helping just enough to make it easier for her change without seeing or touching anything inappropriate. As she finishes changing and crawls into bed, I fill up a glass of water and set it on the bedside table. I take one final look around to make sure she's comfortable and settled in properly before dropping a kiss on top of her head and heading to the barracks for some shut eye before my patrol.

~~ End of Bill's POV ~~

I feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment after Bill tells me the conversation we had. My eyes are firmly planted on the bag in my lap, that I've all but turned into confetti. I feel him shift on the bed again, so he's seated right next in front of me, but I can't bring myself to meet him gaze. His eyes never left my face the whole time he recounted everything and I'm too scared to look and see what emotion I'll find there. Amusement? Pity?

The decision is taken away from me when one of his hands cups the side of my neck and tips my head up to finally meet his gaze. There's a lot of emotion in his eyes, but I can't pinpoint what it is, which scares me even more.

"I'm sor-" I start to say but get cut off.

"Did you mean it?" His voice is soft but firm. He's not going to drop this and seems to be holding his breathe waiting for my answer.

"Yes." The word is barely more than a whisper but I know he heard it from the smile that takes over his face. Next thing I know he's leaning the rest of the way into my space, tilting my head to the side and softly pressing his lips to mine.

My hands reach up to fist his jacket, pulling him closer and the smallest whimper comes up when he nips at my bottom lip. My reaction seems to be all the go ahead Bill needs as he focuses on pulling me so we are flush against each other while taking possession over my mouth. At some point we rearrange ourselves to be laying on the bed, him draped over me like a second skin.

Our kisses between slow and languid to passionate and slightly frenzied. We don't know how long we stay like that, minutes or hours, but when we part our lips are swollen and we are breathing hard. Bill rests his forehead against mine and nudges my nose with his.

"Can I stay the night? No funny business, I just...now that I have you in my arms, I don't want to let you go just yet." He places soft kisses on both my cheeks and then my lips, looking at me with his heart in his eyes.

"I never want to be anywhere except your arms, Bill." I nudge his nose back and return the kiss he just gave. The smile he gives me has my heart melting and my lungs forgetting to breathe.

A few small kisses later, we've arranged ourselves into more comfortable positions; him on his back, me all but laying on top of him, our arms wrapped tightly around each other. Slowly we drift off to sleep with smiles on our faces thinking the same thing:

We have our whole world in our arms.

#band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #bill guarnere #bill guarnere x reader #hbo war #hbo band of brothers #easy company #bill guarnere x you #william guarnere #band of brothers x you

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hainethehero · 1 year ago

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A JOSS WHEDON HATER FOREVER- a think piece on how Avengers 1 set up Steve Rogers to be the MCU's punching bag for the rest of the franchise

(We all know Joss Whedon is an absolute garbage person. He's done many horrible things including being a racist, sexist moron who should be behind literal bars.) This is a commentary on his absolute shit writing for Avengers 1.

This one particular scene and the one following it is purely poor writing & direction for the character of Steve Rogers.👇

After Coulson dies, Fury addresses Steve and Tony and tosses Coulson's bloodied Captain America cards at Steve. He says something like "guess you never found the time to sign them" which is just horribly cruel and though not OOC for Fury, is not something he'd say lightly. We later realize here👇

...that he's secretly trying to put together the team. This is where he makes his big "there was an idea" speech and mentions that "Stark knows this." Because yeah, Tony was made aware of this in Iron Man 1 when Coulson visited and told Pepper. In contrast, Steve had no idea about the Avengers Initiative.

In fact, the dude was just pulled from the Valkyrie in the ice!! In the beginning scene of Avengers 1, we see him at the gym with the punching bag having LITERAL WAR FLASHBACKS about Bucky and Peggy and the Howlies! He's not stable and yet Fury confronts him and ropes him into the mission to get the Tesseract. Steve says, "you should've left it where you found it." And I can't help but think that maybe Steve means himself as well because dude just lost EVERYONE & EVERYTHING he literally knew and cared about.

Anyway, back to the point, Steve knows nothing about the Initiative but is suddenly made to feel guilty about Coulson's death in some kind of roundabout way of "convincing him to join the team" in honor of Coulson.

And then, to make matters WORSE, in the next scene they make HIM comfort Tony 👇

They make him say, "im sorry" (like it was his fault???!) and "he was just doing his job" and "is this the first time you've lost a soldier?" LIKE WTAF???

*INSERTS JACOB ELORDI MEME FROM EUPHORIA SAYING WHAT THE FUCKKKKK?!*

First of all, Steve barely knows these people! Second, he was fond of Coulson and I'm sure they would've been close friends. But did they have to GUILT-TRIP Steve into joining the team? Like, that's just dumb and proves that they don't actually give a fuck about his character!

AND TALK ABOUT MEAN! Fury at least knew about Steve losing Bucky on that train. He KNOWS Steve's first words when he woke up from sleep was "I had a date" reflecting the tragedy of the man out of time. To just rip him out of sleep and thrust him into a mission and later making him feel guilty about Coulson was just pure cruelty, making SHIELD no better than HYDRA. They all saw Steve as a pawn, another mindless soldier to carry out their missions and I hate JW for that.

Steve's character was not accurately portrayed nor was his trauma properly dealt with and so this is why today, we see alot of MCU "fans" calling Steve the worst avenger, lame, boring and basically a crutch to Tony's genius. (I'm a huge Tony Stark fan, don't @ me). It just felt that the mcu wanted to make Tony the ultimate hero- which is fine, Nothing's wrong with that- but they did it at the expense of Steve's character and trauma.

Sadly, this narrative continues all the way down to Endgame and for that I will always hate JW & the mcu's portrayal of Steve Rogers.

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micah-write · 2 months ago

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Rusty leasebound:

Falling into racism?

I believe that at first rusty genuinely tried her best despite biased opinions she learned from the people around her , it's very common to be fed theses ideas and then having to unlearn them as you grow older . Unfortunately as leasebound grows and get older the more rusty falls into racism . The terf movement despite being rooted in feminism is an elitist type of feminism. If you don't cater to their ideas of feminism you may deserve the benefits of it but they'll judge you harshly and even go as dehumanize you in order to feel like your savior . It's a very toxic mindset that doesn't make them acknowledge your needs in the feminist movement .

But you may ask me "micah what's the point with racism" I'm getting here !

A part of the Terf movement will exclude or view black women as in need to be saved as well . Depending on what branch of the movement they follow . From what I've seen in the comic rusty believe that black women needs to be saved. Because the terf movement center white gnc women (yes there are black terf women . But you will notice how they're not at the face of the movement nor in important debates ? It is in fact again a proof of who the terf movement serve the most , white women)

Now that our history moment is done , Leasebound is falling into racism big time

Rusty did not only whitewash her men characters, she even whitewashed THE MAIN CHARACTER and before I hear the rusty boot licker "oh it's the background you ignorant gendie" look well at the color wheel , rusty insanely whitewashed Jaden. It was so easy to notice too . Background won't make someone look this white . Saturation too . Rusty made the choice to go whiter as she changed her color palette . Not only that she also changed some of her characters ethnic traits for a set of another I the middle of the comic , she's trying so badly to evade the racist allegations she's digging a bigger hole instead of listening. Parnyia look completely different, she doesn't look like the same person at all , she's so damn white she should be called patricia (/j) I honestly think rusty has only been fed wrong ideas by people that want to see her portray their vision of the world and that in a attempt of pleasing them is starting to fall deeper in the white supremacist side of terfism . I believe genuinely that rusty doesn't mean harm and has simply been thaught anger for so long she doesn't know any other way to react . If she wishes to contact me I'd be more than open to talk to her properly with open mindness only if she is ready to do the same and respect me as a men . Because I do believe in a future where rusty understand she doesn't need to be a terf to be a radical feminist if that's the movement she aligns with , simply terfism isn't radical for everyone, it's only for a white gnc elite .

#leasebound #leasebound critique #rusty leasebound

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wingsdippedingold · 6 months ago

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My statement on ACOTAR characters

(unedited; really just a brain dump)

I know I use a lot of pro and anti tags when it comes to ACOTAR, and while I do have characters I like more than others, I really just dislike them as a whole. I think the series is poorly written and SJM is the one I actually hate.

I honestly can't really criticize or defend any character properly, because the characters themselves are just deficiently made. They all come from the same dumbass author. The main thing keeping me in the fandom are the actual people in it, because they have actual thoughts that make sense, and I find discussing the topics presened entertaining. So I don't wanna hear any "Well if you hate the books so much stop talking about them" bs

I don't hate Rhysand, in fact I think he has a lot of cool moments. I like the idea of him not bowing to anyone but his own people, so he got a knee tat of Velaris (even if I think its dorky). I enjoy his outlook on what's right, and I did genuinely like him early on. But I think the way SJM writes his actions (especially political ones) and their justifications incredibly disjointed poorly thought out. I think he's wrongfully used and justified and digs people into a bad way of thinking ethically because SJM has made no move to do anything but portray him as a white knight. Had the narrative acknowledge some of the things he's done as actually bad, in fact that most of them have bad outcomes for some even if they benefit others, I'd have no issue with him. SHe just writes him doing heinous things for reason and then is like "Oh but he's traumatized so its okay!"

I don't dislike Feyre, but I think she's often shoved into a backseat role in her own series. I know this is a multi-pov story, but seriously? How the fuck did SJM make Feyre's pregnancy climax to nothing more than more Nesta hate??? Why was her experience and thoughts just completely missing in the plot that literally revolved around her?? I find her flaws charming, and yet they're often forgotten or used to justify things that shouldn't be justified. I don't have any issue with her beyond the SC disaster. But, I think the fact that there's Feyre antis in general speaks to how bad of a writer SJM is. You can't even make people agree on liking your main fucking character? In fact most Feyre antis are Pro Nestas... which is ridiculous. How poorly do you have to write for people to pit sisters against each other WHEN YOUR MAIN TROPE IS FOUND FAMILY. The way SJM uses Feyre pisses me off endlessly

I think Feysand has its moments, and I don't hate anything about them specifically - but rather how they're presented and treated by the narrative. I think they make sense together, and I prefer them to Feylin, but I hate how SJM and fans bend over backward to justify everything.

I'm not a Nesta stan, I just think the narrative (and especially SF) is an injustice to real world issues and the logic used against her makes no sense in reference to the other characters. SJM says she loves her so much, but shows her none. I find the way the fandom treats her lacking empathy, and SJM has done nothing to actually better her character. I think its ridiculous no one acknowledge that she grew up in the same fucking cottage as Feyre with the same parents. SJM constantly dredges up new shit to pit her and Feyre against each other instead of just letting them be happy. She treats Nesta like she's irredeemable, and when she does "redeem" herself its literally in service to the people who are forcing her to fix herself??? She's used as a point for juvenile drama and placed in a cycle of being antagonized with no outlet to place blame. See my full thoughts on her here

I don't actually despise the ic, I think they all are just wasted and thrown into whatever whirlwind situation gives SJM a boner. I think Morrigan had so much potential, but SJM decided it would be better to use her for petty drama and forwarding a ship. I don't hate her because she doesn't do anything for the woman in the CoN, because quite frankly I don't think SJM has thought that far. I don't think Cassian's the worst man alive, but I think SJM has a poor grasp on him and what a healthy relationship (even in the bounds of a fantasy novel) is. And I just find Azriel particularly useless, he's not a thoughtful sensitive soul, he's just yet to be focused on. And I do not look forwards to the day he is, based on his first and only current pov.

I'm not a Tamlin stan, in fact I really don't care for his character, but I think he suffers from lazy writing and some severe character assassination. I think the switch up on his character after the first book is absolutely ridiculous.

I dislike how SJM throws Elain around and treats her like a little precious baby and making her out to be an airhead whos absolved from the same crimes Nesta's hated for.

I'm not an SJM fan, I'm an avid SJM hater. I actually despise her, and while I won't write out my entire long list of grievances with her here, just know that literally all of my issues with the series would be gone if she was just a better person and writer. Seriously, I think she lacks so much mechanical and analytical skill (which is crazy, she's been publishing books for 12+ years and written like 15) and I see no change in the future. She constantly retcons, switches characters up for whatever her narrative calls for, and sacrifices good character writing for a fast track to mediocre faerie smut.

I hate the way she sexualized Feyre's experience under the mountain. I hate the way she immediately objectified Feyre when she got pregnant (the blurb describing Feyre walking around while pregnant is insanely kinky and I hate it). I hate the way she throws around trauma and mental illness like cute little stickers so that she can pick and choose the aspects she thinks are cool. I hate that she's fucked up people's perception of abuse and mental illness. I hate the way she uses poc and steals credit for representation she didn't care to make. This isn't even all of it, its just what I can remember within the 9 minutes I spent writing this brain dump. SJM does not deserve more of my time 😭

If I was a character in the series I genuinely think I'd avoid all of them, because I don't care, and if I somehow did have to be cornered with any of them, I'd hate all of them. But If I ever faced up with the mother (aka Sarah), it'd be on sight. My hatred for her knows no bounds. Hate is a strong word, and one I used so many times in this post (something SJM does a lot too though, so I'm not worried, seriously get a thesaurus and stop using the same phrases every 6 pages) because it's true.

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti sarah j maas #sjm critical #rhysand #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #tamlin

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aihoshiino · 1 month ago

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I just want to start by saying I really love your analysis of Ai’s character! It’s nice to know that Ai still has some dedicated fans, even after she died in the story. Ai was fascinating to me throughout the time we got to know her. So it makes me happy that people still talk about her quite often.

I'll get straight to the point now. Lately, I've been unsatisfied with the writing of Oshi no Ko. I'm not a fan of how they've handled Ruby, the revenge plot, and Kana's concert. So, I decided to create my own alternate universe (AU) story featuring two of my favorite characters from the manga, Ai and Kana. The setting in the AU is somewhere around the time after Ai got scouted. The only change I've made to Kana is that she is the same age as Ai in this timeline. I'm not exactly sure how I want to develop their friendship or how they would meet, but I'd love to hear your honest thoughts. How do you think a friendship between Ai and Kana would unfold? I would like to say it wouldn't be an entire copy of RubyKana's dynamic, but I'm not entirely sure 😭. My goal is to portray Ai's feelings and the increasing pressure she faces, as well as Kana's struggles to find work and her gradual realization of her mother's exploitation. I also want to show how they balance their friendship despite being in different fields and supporting each other.

Thanks so much, anon! 💜 THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA… Usually when I see fics of Ai and Kana interacting, it's with their canon age gap but the idea of them being peers is super interesting… please do drop it into my inbox if/when you write it!

The idea I had immediately was like - since we're already messing around with the timeline by making Kana and Ai peers, you could push up the live-action adaptation of Sweet Today and have them cross paths that way. Ai mentions in the Da Vinci Q&A that she would've loved to play the lead character if it was ever adapted - which as we all know is the role Kana plays in the story proper. There's already a surprising amount of parallels set up between Ai and Kana in the main story, but that one in particular really made me go ! so I think you could mine some interesting thematic stuff out of it.

That would also probably be a good way to put them in each others' proximity as well, I think! Like idk, maybe Kana was supposed to get the lead role but got bumped down to a supporting cast member when the production committee decided they wanted Ai's name recognition instead and now Kana has to balance being professional with seething over losing this role she really wanted to a girl who's not even an actress but also wanting to help her give a good performance j-just to make sure the show is good! Not for any other reason! … That kind of thing.

I definitely think they'd have an uphill struggle… they're both dishonest in ways that really clash, huh. I can really easily see the way Kana defaults to externalizing her vulnerability as snark and aggression accidentally setting off Ai's tendency to go belly up fawning mode, which in turn rubs on all Kana's insecurities and her feelings of not being good enough, which causes her to be even more reactive… I think they'd definitely end up having a big blow-up a la Nino and Ai before they could start properly communicating.

Once they're on the same page, though, I think they'd be really good friends! Ai is an incredibly affectionate and supportive presence for the people she loves and Kana is extremely proactively protective of the people she allows into her heart. I think they could really hype each other up and support each other in some really good ways.

Basically what I'm saying is;

[kana voice] HEY!!! SHE ASKED FOR NO PICKLES!!!!! [said while trying to restrain Ai from forcefeeding herself a burger she does not want in order to not mildly inconvenience another human being]

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk asks

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olderthannetfic · 10 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740284683556929536/

Omg I'm so sorry! I wrote that anon when I was sleepy so it had very ham-fisted wording. Yes, I meant to ask about portraying self-esteem issues about bodies. I thought guys don't talk about it much.

To that one person, why would dudes comparing dick sizes be considered smut? I can see it being rated M. Are you suggesting the rating go up to E?

Ahahaha.

Uh... anon... if that's truly what you were trying to ask... I think maybe you need to work on your writing a bit more. The vibes you give off are odd, to say the least...

Like, creepy pervert angling for foot fetish photos while lying about what they want-level weird.

It sounds like you want to heavy-breathe while reading guys' descriptions of their own penises, not like you want help with writing.

The reason your ask reads so "She breasted boobily down the stairs" but from the other side is that guys, at least from what I've seen, do not stand around comparing their dicks, at least not in the way you implied.

The people who most commonly compare their junk out of curiosity are toddlers.

This is something tiny children do. Anecdotally, some teens do it, but a lot don't, and there are clickbait articles about athletes sizing each other up this way, but they are just that: clickbait. I'm not saying it never happens, but you wrote about it like it always happens.

It is fucking weird to have a grown-ass man routinely doing it outside of maaaaybe some weirdly homoerotic scene in a stoner comedy or something.

People joke about this practice because it's a thing that exists, not because it is ubiquitous.

That's also why it reads like porn. IRL, if some dude is like "I think we should compare our dicks... uh... and they should be hard so we can compare properly", many other guys are going to interpret that as sexual. And also self-deluding. Which is a good reason to say no.

Most people in locker rooms and public bathrooms try to give each other a little privacy if they can, regardless of gender. Openly ogling is what you do if you're about to proposition someone for sex. Or, if it's hostile, you stare because you're about to beat them up.

I'm not saying a guy couldn't sneakily see the size of another guy's junk and have a response, but the whole way you described this sounds like you've never spoken to a human before. Did you seriously get this idea from those clickbait articles?

Among other issues, penises become erect. They look different in different states of arousal. Surely, you've heard of "growers vs. showers"? Temperature also matters. There's a whole fucking bit on Seinfeld that everyone quoted for like years and is probably still quoting about "shrinkage"—i.e. a guy is insecure that someone saw him when he'd just gotten out of the pool and his dick looked small because he was cold. Hopefully, the locker room isn't that cold, but you still don't know what a dude's dick looks like all of the time from catching a glimpse of it one time.

So an adult man who is not completely unfamiliar with penises is not going to 1. openly stare at another man in the locker room and 2. look only at his penis and have some crisis about "Mine looks different".

I suppose for the right character in the right circumstances, you can sell any kind of goofy-ass reaction, including the "breasted boobily" stuff where women think consciously about their tits in a way that actual women generally don't and male authors love to write. But you have to make it a whole Thing. She has to have some reason why her nipples are super sensitive today and thus she pays attention when she normally wouldn't.

Instead, you keep asking these dumbass questions like you're 12 that boil down to "Literally all men are the same cardboard cutout based on their D&D stats from this character sheet. Please tell me some facts about these stats!" instead of approaching people as individual humans who all react differently. You haven't even said anything about what kind of culture these characters come from. Both personality and specific culture (not just big things like nationality but shit like whether they're athletes who change with the same guys all the time) are going to affect how and whether men talk about self esteem and bodies.

You're boiling this down to "What does the penis-having alien species all do?" despite already getting several answers that told you to stop doing that. You either didn't listen or didn't understand what people meant so badly that it's pointless to keep giving you help.

This is not a good way to write three-dimensional characters.

Now, I'm not saying nobody has ever snuck a peek in a locker room. Lots of people, regardless of gender, do that. But we're talking covert looks and that kind of looking gives you glimpses of many body parts and not always a very clear look either.

Most actual men on most actual days of their lives are going to feel insecure about their bodies relative to someone else because the other dude looks better at the gym or grows chest and facial hair more easily or is much taller or isn't going bald.

We love to make jokes about penis size, but in my experience, the level of perpetual crisis dudes have over potential baldness is way higher. There are a shitton of ways to be insecure about yourself and your body. That goes for any gender.

Maybe a dude feels insecure because the other guy is much less body-conscious and has an easier time changing in front of people or because he's paid five times as much and is changing into a thousand dollar suit.

Many of the markers of masculinity and attractiveness have very little to do with penises.

There's also a vast difference between your POV character thinking some other dude's huge package is admirable and your POV character thinking he himself is inadequate. He could think his own dick is average and that it would be nicer to be hung like a pornstar without being insecure about it. He could also have a big dick yet still be insecure about it because he's a weirdo who's obsessed with penis size. He could be a size queen who wants to take a ride on that. He could have an ex girlfriend who thought big penises hurt and be creepily fascinated and wonder whom this guy fucks and how they manage.

All this shit is a character point. Stop treating it as immutable truth where someone can give you the Correct Answer™ for you to slot into your writing or spank bank fantasies.

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shiny-jr · 7 months ago

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RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH I literally cannot put into words how much I loved the latest Damnation au chapter- I was literally seconds away from putting my phone down to get back to work but as soon as I saw a glimpse of the fic, I just couldn't help but put everything on hold

I was really impressed with how you included Epel into the story in a way that just about correlated to Epel in canon (like how he was actively opposed to hit position in the castle). Like taking into consideration of the time period and the possible reasons why Epel would be relevant there in the first place despite not being in the original tale- SO WELL DONE!! Not to mention Vil going out of his way to find potential successors really emphasizes his hatred for Neige (poor guy😭) Also the way you write about Rook??? I knew he'd be creepy but gyat damn your writing only increased the feeling of it ten-fold. Especially in that scene after he climbed through the window and interrupted MC and Vil- Literally foaming at the mouth i was like 'holy crap this is it, we're gonna get exposed' cause aint no way Rook WOULDN'T know. Everything about him was unnerving yet so charming?? I really don't know how you do it but the way you just write them is just so accurate👏

As a Vil simp, every scene with him in it had be giggling and kicking my feet✨ I was pleasantly surprised with his advances towards the MC though- like hubba hubba... I ain't complaining though! The tension in those scenes were just *chefs kiss* Every moment with him just oozed authority and power, like I'd be on the edge of my metaphorical seat just waiting for the moment he calls out the MC

Like holy crap you really know how to set your scenes- like legit every time I Rook or Vil were in a scene, it genuinely felt tense. Also props to MC for looking out for #1 (themselves) even at the expense of ruining someone else

Anyway excuse my rambling lmao i'm definitely gonna be re-reading it again ^^

Sounds like another happy reader. And yes, Epel's part was difficult. Mainly because, well, Epel is based off the poisoned apple, so how is he supposed to play that role? In my mind, the poisoned apple is a tool used by the Evil Queen. So, what is similar to a tool? A person to manipulate, which is how I came up with the idea of heir. Combined with the fact that Vil obviously takes a shine to Epel, as he spends time meticulously perfecting his habits and mannerisms in-game. Which fit the scenario I was to use, of a King claiming an heir and drilling instructions and behaviors in their mind to manipulate.

Rook and Vil were easy to place into roles, due to who they're based off of. But it was difficult coming up with scenes for them, since the Huntsman and Evil Queen don't have a lot in the movies. Especially the Huntsman.

For Rook, I actually considered writing a scene were MC followed him as he scoped out the meadow or the moment when Rook was to escort Neige to the meadow, but ultimately I decided against that as it would overcomplicate the plot and give more time to Neige instead of Rook. I needed a way to properly portray Rook's watchfulness and the unease it spawns, which I figured should fit the setting. A carefully worded conversation knit of lies and unsaid threats and fears is much more effective when the reader is picturing hollowed stone halls of a palace instead of a colorful meadow. At least, that was my thought process there, which is why most interactions with Rook are in settings such as those.

And finally, Vil, who I decided to write a few more interesting scenes for purely because I know a good amount of my followers love that pretty man. There were multiple concepts and scrapped ideas I've already forgotten by now, different things that never made it to my keyboard, like a tense dinner scene and back-and-forth bickering. But some of those just didn't fit the feeling I wanted, or was out of character for either the MC or others.

Anyways, now I'm rambling. Sorry. I hope the second read was just as enjoyable as the first!

#shiny speaks #damnation twst au

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tildeathiwillwrite · 6 months ago

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genuine qustion, bc i dont understand whump, why do you like it? whats the appeal? am i missing something?

I'm going to assume from the wording of this question that you already have an idea of what whump is, and you're asking why someone would want to read/write it, but if not here is a good post summarizing the genre.

This post is divided into two parts below the cut: the appeal of whump for me, and an explanation of why I like whump.

For me, personally, the appeal of whump comes from putting a character (whether that be an someone else's character, my original character, or a nameless whumpee) in Situations (with or without a whumper), and then having the difficult recovery or healing process (usually with a caretaker). Sometimes I deviate from this pattern, such as omitting the recovery, but that is usually my main focus.

A bit more emphasis on the comfort in hurt/comfort, but there's also hurt in the comfort.

My main love of whump stems from the tropes I enjoy:

Used as bait (where a whumpee is captured with the intent on using them to lure the caretaker into trying to rescue them in order to capture the caretaker too). I like this one because of the suspense of knowing it's a trap, and wondering if the caretaker will manage to rescue the whumpee, or get captured themselves.

Magic whump (whump but in the fantasy genre). This one gives more possibilities or twists on usual whump tropes by adding magic into the mix. Combined with my love for fantasy writing.

Captivity whump (a whumpee captured by a whumper, usually including various forms of torture). This trope is very versatile. Why were they captured? What does the whumper gain by torturing them? So many possibilities. Not to mention the rescue afterwards!

Sickfic (whumpee is sick, usually with a caretaker). Someone else mentioned this before, I don't remember who otherwise I would've linked them, but illness is something rarely seen in existing media. When a piece of media has whump, it's usually torture or a fight scene, but I've only ever seen sickness a handful of times. I like the idea of a character having all these cool abilities but still getting the common cold, especially when they have someone else to take care of them. Also it's easier to write from experience for this then, say, getting stabbed.

PTSD whump (when a character has trauma). This is more of a recovery trope. I hate it when a piece of media has a character go through an incredibly traumatizing event and then as soon as they're out, they're perfectly fine mentally. Let the character have ptsd, dammit! I don't really write this often, but when I do I love writing the nightmares in particular.

Immortal whump (with a character who, for whatever reason, cannot die). I love this one because it opens up even more possibilities for whumping. It usually depends on how the character's immortality works, but they can take a lot more damage than any other whumpee.

Realism in whump (realistic injuries, illness, and recovery). Really just a preference, as I'm studying in the medical field and already know a lot about how the human body works, so I use that knowledge and apply it to my writing. For example, fainting as portrayed in hollywood movies is a lot different from how fainting actually is. Involves a fair amount of research, but I personally think it's worth it.

(side note: I haven't really found any tropes which I strongly dislike, but out of personal preference I avoid smut and nsfw whump such as rape)

As to why I like whump? This was a tough question to answer, to properly articulate. It's fiction. And writing give me freedom to do pretty much anything to the characters and through the characters. I suppose whump is another way to exercise that creativity. "I know how the character reacts to this Situation, but what about this other Situation?"

I know some other writers use whump writing to work through their trauma, as catharsis. Props to them, but I don't write whump for that reason. I always liked putting my characters in Situations, and then a couple years ago discovered what whump was, went "that's a thing?!" and basically dove in head first.

The Tumblr whump community itself has also been very sweet and welcoming, I draw a lot of inspiration from the other writers, especially when I'm trying to figure out what to write next. I doubt I would still be writing whump if the community wasn't as welcoming, and I'm very glad it's not the case. If you go back in my archive, the first writing I started posting was whump. Nameless whump turned into oc whump, which turned into posting about my WIPs. So if the whump community gatekept me out, I probably wouldn't be posting any writing at all (and that's very sad to think about).

I hope this post was helpful to you! I can't speak for other members of the whump community, these opinions and motives are my own. If you have any more questions feel free to ask.

#thanks for the ask!#anon ask #long post #whump #whumpblr #whump blog #whump community #writing thoughts #used as bait #magic whump #captivity whump #sickfic #recovery #ptsd whump #immortal whump #realistic whump

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