#i have it in my head that i really want to be sober

[wooskirbyplushie]

Make It To The Morning ~ Choi Seungcheol

✰ Choi Seungcheol x Reader

✰ Description: You meet up with an old friend on a night out with your girls, and he seems intent on making sure you end your night with a bang..

✰ Word Count: 3.4k

✰ Warnings: drinking, cussing, pet names, female!reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it when you tap it !), driving under the influence (yea don't do this)

✰ Italics are used for inner thoughts, bold italic is to emphasize words

✰ a/n: Hey guyssss, back again. Currently still working on the next chapter of Our Little Secret, so in the mean time here's a little short I wrote a while back! Eventually I'll have an actually masterlist but for now my other fics/shorts are listed right under here if you wanna go check those out. As always, dividers used are by @cafekitsune so go check them out!

Our Little Secret ~ K.HJ | Not So Sober Nights ~ Kang Yeosang

It was a saturday night, and instead of your usual routine of laying around your room watching dramas and eating junk food, your friends dragged you to a club. You didn’t hate clubbing, it’s just the idea of too many people pressed up against each other in one place wasn’t very appealing to you.

But tonight you had a slight change of heart. You put on a skin tight dress that showed off all the right places, and threw on a pair of heels to match. A bit of light makeup and a few accessories tied the look together, and soon your friends were at your front door to pick you up for the night ahead. 

When you all arrived, the club was packed with the music so loud that you could feel the bass in your chest. There was a slight aroma of weed and flavored hooka coming from the vip sections, and flashing lights that should’ve come with an epilepsy warning. But of course it didn’t take long for your friends to grab you and drag you to the bar to get a drink before you could even think about turning around and leaving. 

One round of shots turned into three, and one drink turned into two and a half, as you were still working on the other half while you were on the dance floor. The liquor got you loosened up, but it didn’t get you any further than tipsy considering you could down 7 drinks and still walk in a straight line. But the drinks did have you bumping and grinding against your friends on the dance floor, drink still in hand. 

After a few minutes of dancing with your eyes closed, taking in every beat and melody, you felt a figure on your backside and eventually felt a hand rest on your waist. They were too tall to be one of your girl friends so who could-

“Now who managed to drag you out of the house on a saturday night and who let you out looking this good hm?”

Hearing the voice in your ear made you calm down a bit as you threw your head back and rested it against the person’s chest, smiled, and locked eyes with them. 

“Hi Cheollll” you sang out just loud enough for him to hear over the music. You and Seungcheol had a very… complicated relationship to say the least. You had hooked up and went on a few dates here and there but never really talked about what it was, and quite frankly, you didn’t care. He gave you whatever you were looking for in the moment and that’s all you really wanted. 

You both danced against each other for a while; rather, you danced against him while both of his hands followed the rhythm of you waist and he left the occasional kiss on your neck. You could feel he was turned on as he pressed against you.

Eventually, he turned you around to face him and took your now empty drink out of your hand. “Can we get another drink cheolie?” You asked with big brown eyes that no one could say no to. Well except Seungcheol apparently because he didn’t budge. 

“No ma’am, I think you’ve had enough tonight” Cheol started off before smirking and leaning towards your ear. “Plus I want you to be sober enough to remember what we do later okay?”

Now whether you were blushing because of the liquor or the image of what could possibly happen later, you weren’t sure. but you were sure that the smell of whiskey on Cheol’s breath mixed with the scent of his cologne was a dangerous combination for you. Your legs were getting weak and he needed to carry you to his bed immediately. 

“You wanna tell your friends I’m taking you home or should I baby?” 

You could text them later.

****

Before you knew it, Cheol was grabbing your wrist and leading you to the back door of the club. He always parked his car out back with the employees since he was cool with the owners, and did not want to take the chance of his car getting stolen or broken into. 

On your way out, you passed by the bar and a vip section where you happened to see your friends flirting with some guys, too distracted to see you sneaking out- or blatantly leaving - with the guy they hated so much. 

Once you reached the door, a brisk breeze hit your face, reminding you that it really wasn’t spring time yet. But because you chose to be cute and not smart, your jacket was still in your friend’s car, leaving you to shiver at the temperature. Cheol took notice of this and took his jacket off of his shoulders and placed it on your own. Was it light? Yes, but it was better than nothing. 

“Oh uh. Thanks.” You mumbled quietly, hoping you didn’t get caught eyeing the way his t-shirt complimented his muscles. Did he not understand you were insane??

“Of course princess.” Cheol replied, putting emphasis on his last word. You weren’t big on pet names, but something about the way he called you princess made you blush every time. 

Suddenly yall came to a stop in front of a black car, a mercedes to be exact. Weird, I thought he had a white ca- 

“Like the new wheels? Got her last week” Cheol said smugly when he noticed you looking at the unfamiliar car. You simply nodded and said it matched his style: expensive and arrogant. 

He chuckled and pulled you closer to him by your waist, that cologne intoxicating the way it filled your nostrils. The last thing you were expecting was for this man to pick you up and sit you on the trunk of the car. 

“Seungcheol! Someone could see us let’s just go to your place.” You protested although you weren’t completely against the idea of fucking him in or on the car. What? You had questionable morals. 

“We will in due time baby,” Cheol started before leaving a kiss on your temple. “Think of this as an appetizer before the main course, okay?” You couldn’t get out another protest before his lips were on yours. Slightly chapped per usual, but god they felt like heaven. He hummed into the kiss while your tongues clashed with each other, the taste of peach liquor on your breath turning him on even more. His hands starting to travel up the sides of your thighs as you kept going.

He had your body so hot that you almost forgot about it being 40 degrees outside until the wind started blowing again. You shivered slightly, breaking from the kiss and lowering your head in embarrassment. “Can we go to your place now Cheolie..?” He complied and helped you off the car after another quick kiss, followed by him opening the passenger door for you. 

****

Once you got to Cheol’s house, he parked and walked to your side of the car where he scolded you for opening your door yourself. You insisted it wasn’t a big deal, to which he picked you up bridal style and carried you into his house. Feeling your cheeks get hot again, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. 

You finally made it to the bedroom after what seemed like an eternity, Cheol sitting you down on his King sized bed before turning to close and lock his door. He walked back over, looking you up and down before getting on his knees in front of you. 

“Have I ever told you how pretty you are? Or how good you look wearing my clothes?” He inquired while helping you get your heels off. You had completely forgot about the jacket, but at this point, you just wanted him to stop being a tease and take it off of you. “Maybe once or five times…” you replied back, eyes watching his every move. 

“Only five? I gotta do better then huh gorgeous?” He said before leaving kisses up your legs, starting at your ankles. You threw your head back slightly and Cheol watched your reactions through his eyelashes. “Seungcheol can you stop being a tease for christ sake” you whined. 

He climbed on top of you, sliding his jacket off your shoulders. 

“Want me to fuck you that bad?”

Well. Yes! “Duh.”

“Then take your dress off”

“Only if you take your pants off”

Cheol smirked and stood back up, undoing his belt. “Yes ma’am”

One thing led to another, and your clothes were in a pile on the floor, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear. You couldn’t help but stare at Seungcheol’s body, I mean you had seen it multiple times but it always surprised you how defined and prominent his muscles were. And no matter how many times you ended up in this scenario with him, you always got shy and tried to cover up. 

He climbed onto the bed next to you, and pulled you into his lap with a swift action. He had you in a position where you were straddling him, your body getting accustomed a bit too quickly. “Why are you acting like I haven’t seen your body a million times over princess?” Cheol placed a kiss on your shoulder, his hand caressing the small of your back. “That’s exactly why… You probably know my body better than I do at this point.” You replied in a voice that was hardly above a whisper. 

His fingers toyed with the strap of your bra before placing them under your chin, lifting your head just enough for you to make eye contact with him. God his eyes were dangerous. “How about we prove that theory then, huh princess?” Cheol said before crashing his lips into yours. Just like before, you could still taste the liquor on his breath, his tongue going against your bottom lip to ask for just a bit more from you. You obliged and parted your lips just enough for Cheol to slip his tongue in. 

You weren’t sure what to do with your hands, as one was tugging at the bottom part of his hair, the other holding on to his shoulder to keep your balance while you would grind against him, arousal growing with every movement. Coming up for air, Cheol broke away from the kiss to leave kisses and small bite marks on your chest. 

“Cheol you.. you know how I am about hickeys…” you managed out, head in the clouds, dizzy with pleasure. But he wasn’t letting up. “I know baby. That’s why they’re in places only we’ll know about.” He replied while undoing the last hook of your bra, sliding the garment off your body. You hadn’t even realized he was taking it off until you felt the material loosen around you. 

Not even a second after your bra was taken off, Cheol wrapped his mouth around one of your breasts, one of his hands massaging the other. You threw your head back in pleasure and moaned his name, the grip you had on his hair getting a bit tighter. You both continued to move your hips against each other, turning you on even further and wishing that the fabric separating the two of you would disappear. 

Cheol switched from one breast to the other, giving both equal amounts of attention. Eventually he worked his way back up towards your collarbone and neck, leaving kisses all over and nibbling on your ear. “C-cheolie..” you whined in response to his actions. He was driving you crazy and you wanted more than what he was offering. “I know princess, I know..” He trailed off as his hands went between the two of you, fingers meeting your most sensitive spot, rubbing aggravating slow circles on your clit through the fabric of your panties. 

Just as you were about to beg for more, cheol moved your panties to the side and slipped two fingers inside of you, stretching you out for what was to come. He had you falling apart, a whimpering mess on top of him as he fingered you and kissed more over your chest and neck areas. You were already starting to feel your first orgasm of the night approaching, that familiar knot building up in your stomach. “I- I can’t anymore cheol I’m so- so close” You breathed out, reaching down to rub your clit to help you get there faster. “If you’re close then cum for me baby” Cheol said in your ear, speeding up his hand movements. 

His voice was all it took to send you over the edge. You tightened around his fingers before your orgasm washed over you, moaning cheol’s name way louder than you had intended and collapsing onto his chest when it was all said and done. “You did so good for me baby” He said while kissing you on your head. He rubbed your back to help you come back to reality, asking if you wanted to stop or keep going once you were responsive. 

“We can keep going. You haven’t even gotten anything yet-” You started before Cheol cut you off with another kiss. “You know I only care about you baby, I can take care of myself later.” You shrugged in return, arms wrapped around Cheol’s neck. Leaning into his ear, you spoke in a low voice, “But I wanna make you feel good too.” Followed by you kissing on his neck. 

Cheol let out a guttural moan, his head falling against the headboard behind him. His hands stayed on your hips for a short period of time, eventually sliding down and gripping your ass before abruptly straightening up to change your positions. Before you could blink properly, Cheol had you on your stomach, causing you to yelp out of shock. Lifting your ass up so you were on all fours. 

You could feel him adjusting behind you, pulling his boxers just below his dick, and pulling your panties to the side; too lazy to take them off. “Condom?” He asked with a dumbass confused look on his face. “When have we ever used one seungcheol.” You replied, annoyance heavy in your tone. He shrugged and pointed out he was just making sure before teasingly placing his tip right at your entrance. And he did it over and over again until you finally snapped. 

“Christ Seungcheol can you just-” You started but were cut off by him finally sliding in. Both of you let out synchronized moans, your grip on the sheets tightening, while cheol gripped your hair to make you look up at the mirror that was conveniently placed in front of the bed. “Look at you taking me so well princess” His pace picking up with every other word. 

Cheol wasn’t exactly big, but he knew exactly what to do to make you lose your mind. Between the angles, hair tugging, and shit talking (and some praising here and there), he had you damn near crying and screaming out broken mantras of cuss words and his name, the occasional whiny “please” getting thrown in there as well. Eventually you felt yourself getting close to the edge, the pleading getting even worse than before.

“God Cheolie please i’m so close” You whined, not sure how much longer you could last. Snaking his hand underneath you, Cheol went back to rubbing your clit, keeping his same pace. “Cmon baby, what’s stopping you?” He taunted in your ear before he twitched inside you. he was close but refused to cum before you did. “I’m sorry baby but I wanna see your face when you cum..” and just like that, Cheol flipped you so you were on your back. Rolling your eyes, you responded “I thought that’s what the mirror was for.” 

“Something like that but it’s better to see it up close” He smirked as his hips started back up. it was like he hadn’t skipped a beat, your orgasm still so close that you could almost taste it. Cheol fucked into you with one of your legs over his shoulder, occasionally dipping down to kiss on your neck. “Holy fuuck Seungcheol” You moaned out. You had about 30 seconds left in you before you started seeing stars, nails digging into any part of his skin that you could find. Cheol groaned at the sensation getting closer to the edge as time went on. “Want me to-” He couldn’t even finish his question before you cut him off with an immediate yes. 

“Right there oh my g-” Your sentence was cut short by your second orgasm of the night hitting you like a truck. The heat flowed from your spine to the tips of your fingers, back arching off of the bed from the pleasure. Cheol fucked you through your high, his orgasm following shortly after, almost making him go limp from how aggressive it was. He eventually pulled out and laid next to you, kissing your temple and making sure you were okay as he pulled you into his arms. “You feeling ok princess?”

“I feel sweaty, weak and partially sore” To be fair it had been a month since your last hook up. Cheol stood up, pulled up his boxers and picked you up to carry you to the bathroom without another word. 

“All im hearing is round two in the shower!”

“I cannot stand you.”

When you woke up, the sun was coming through slits between the black curtains in the master bedroom, a slight breeze coming from the window furthest from the bed. Your body was sore and you could only imagine how many hickeys were left on your body; more specifically how many did Cheol forget were in noticeable places. They would serve as simple reminders of last night, how aggressive he could be at times, following up with a soft side right after. So it was no surprise when you were given a massage and coddled to sleep by Cheol after such a rough time. The thought of it made you blush, shaking your head to brush off the images replaying.

Adjusting a bit in the bed, you reached over to the nightstand to grab your phone; at least you tried to before a certain someone snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “Tryna fuck and roll on me hm?” He asked while placing a light peck on your shoulder. 

Giggling at Cheol’s clinginess, you turned to face him while he kept his grip on your waist. “To be fair, I didn’t exactly plan on staying the night sir. And don’t worry, I was just checking my phone.” It was almost guaranteed that your friends had texted and called trying to figure out where you were and if you were ok. I mean it wasn’t abnormal for you to leave before they did, but you usually left some type of message for them. Somebody must’ve distracted you last night…

“You weren’t gonna stay?? But I was going to make breakfast for us!” Cheol responded with a fake pout. If you didn’t vividly remember last night, his face would’ve made you think he was a little angel. You knew better though. “Woah woah. Decent sex and free food? Why are you still laying here shoo go cook bro.”

“Just decent!?” He replied, holding an offended hand to his chest. You couldn’t help but laugh at how dramatic he was, especially since you said it just to get under his skin. But before you knew it, Cheol was on top of you. The sight looking all too familiar, you stopped laughing and hit his shoulder. “Go cook, I’m hungry” 

“Tell me it was better than decent and I’ll make you a breakfast for a queen”

Oh it was. But you weren’t telling him that. 

“Mmmm it was aight” you replied, holding back your laugh. It was killing you, but you had to play with him justttt a little bit.

Cheol slightly shrugged and adjusted himself above you. “Then I’ll remind you how much noise you were making last night. Breakfast will come after you do”

Your eyes widened in shock. Oh this. This was not in the plans-

[empressdede]

The Secretary - 2

Chapter two

Previous

The next day, Roman sat in a private lounge in WWE’s headquarters, a cup of coffee in his hand, but he hadn’t taken a single sip. His mind was somewhere else - someone else.

"Yo, Uce, you good?" Jey’s voice cut through his thoughts.

Roman glanced up to see both Jey and Jimmy watching him with raised eyebrows.

"You been sittin’ there quiet for the last ten minutes," Jimmy added, nudging him with an elbow. "What’s up?"

Roman exhaled, running a hand over his beard. He wasn’t the type to talk about this stuff, but if there was anyone he could trust, it was his cousins.

"I almost kissed Serena last night."

Both Usos went silent for about two seconds before Jimmy let out a sharp "Damn." Jey, meanwhile, smirked like he’d just won a bet.

"Knew it," Jey said, shaking his head. "I knew something was up with you two."

"Ain’t nothin’ up," Roman muttered, staring down at his coffee. "It didn’t happen."

Jimmy leaned forward. "So why didn’t it?"

Roman clenched his jaw, replaying the moment in his head. The way Serena had looked at him, the way she’d almost leaned in, and then - the way she’d stepped back, leaving like it never happened.

"She stopped it," he admitted. "Said she had to go."

Jey let out a low whistle. "Damn, Uce. She shut you down?"

Jimmy chuckled. "That’s a first."

Roman shot them both a look, and they sobered up real quick.

"Look, man," Jimmy said, leaning back. "You’re the boss. You think she’s just scared of losing her job?"

Roman shook his head. "Nah, it��s more than that. She’s…different."

Jey and Jimmy exchanged a glance.

"Different how?" Jey asked.

Roman sighed, setting his coffee down. "She’s not like everyone else around here. She’s not trying to impress me or get something from me. She just does her job; better than anyone else. She knows what I need before I even ask. Hell, she keeps my schedule tighter than Heyman does."

Jimmy grinned. "Sounds like wifey material."

Roman shot him another look, but this time, Jimmy didn’t back down.

"I’m just sayin’ Uce. If she’s got you all in your feelings, maybe you should figure out what you really want."

Roman exhaled, rubbing his face. That was the problem - he did know what he wanted.

But he also knew Serena wouldn’t cross that line. And maybe she was right. Maybe he was the one making a mistake even thinking about it.

Jey, ever the instigator, leaned in with a smirk. "So what you gonna do, Chief?"

Roman didn’t answer right away. He didn’t know.

But one thing was certain; Serena wasn’t just another secretary. And after last night, there was no way things were going back to normal.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Serena kept her head down all morning, focusing on her work as if her life depended on it. After last night, the only thing she could do was act like nothing had happened. Like she hadn’t almost made the biggest mistake of her career.

She had no idea where she stood with Roman now. Would he act differently? Would he fire her?

Her heart pounded as she gathered her tablet and notes, heading toward his office for their daily briefing. She inhaled sharply before knocking.

"Come in."

His voice was as calm as ever, but when she stepped inside, she immediately noticed the way his eyes flickered to her - just for a second, just enough to make her breath hitch.

"Good morning, Mr. Reigns," she said, keeping her voice steady.

Roman leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable. "Morning, Serena."

Okay. So far, so good.

She cleared her throat, forcing herself into professional mode. "You have a meeting with Triple H at eleven, media interviews at two, and a production meeting before SmackDown. I’ve already pushed back the sponsorship call to next week."

He nodded. "Good. What about the travel schedule?"

"Finalized. Flights are booked, hotels confirmed. Everything’s in your itinerary."

Roman was silent for a beat, his fingers tapping the desk. "You always handle things before I even think to ask."

Serena glanced up, surprised by the warmth in his tone. "It’s my job."

His gaze held hers a little too long. "Yeah. It is."

A tension settled between them, the air thick with everything they weren’t saying.

Serena shifted on her feet. She needed to get out of there before last night repeated itself. "If there’s nothing else, I’ll-"

"Serena."

She stopped. His voice was softer now. She didn’t dare turn back, but she felt his presence behind her; closer than before.

"About last night…" His tone was careful, hesitant, like he wasn't even sure what he wanted to say.

Her hands clenched at her sides. Don’t do this, Roman.

She forced a smile, turning back slightly. "Nothing happened, sir."

His jaw tensed at the way she called him sir. He knew exactly what she was doing.

"Serena…"

"I should get back to work," she cut in quickly. "You have a busy day."

Roman’s expression darkened, but he didn’t stop her.

She left before he could say anything else, closing the door behind her with careful precision.

Once she was out in the hallway, she let out the breath she’d been holding.

Nothing happened. She had to keep reminding herself.

But the way Roman looked at her as she walked away?

She knew…this wasn’t over.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

How we feelin chat?

Tagging the lovelies: @wrestlingprincess80 @whatdoeseverybodywant @pr0tost4r @paigereeder @alyyaanna @raya-hunter01 @mzv11 @trippinsorrows @partypoison00 @isabella-2025 @jstarr86 @chrisevanswife0405 @fearlesschimera @cyberdejos2 @whowrotethenote @potatosackk @ajaxcleaningsupplies @sayyestoheav3nn @luvrsluxe

If you want to be added to my taglist for everything I write, please say so HERE.

[starrihan]

Resist (Taehyun Fic)

-> Pairing: toxic! Taehyun x self sabotaging!Reader

-> Plot: your self-sabotaging tendencies keep you tied to your toxic ex, but how can you resist was the sex is just so good?

-> Genre: smut, angst, mean dom! Taehyun, bratty sub! Reader, toxic! Taehyun x toxic! Reader, piv sex, no protection (wrap it up), oral (f receiving), slight public intimacy (?), reader is tipsy while Taehyun is sober, hair pulling, cursing

-> Ft.: Chaeryoung and Yeji of ITZY

-> Warnings: a little blood

-> Word Count: 4,235

-> Notes: Happy late birthday to Taehyun!!! I really wanted to post this on his actual birthday but I got so busy but this is the second part to my Sanctuary series! i hope you guys enjoy toxic! Taehyun as much as I do. semi-proofread. i have been writing this for weeks but i've just been so busy that I've been putting out shorter works that took a lot less brainpower to write.

This TikTok is perfect for this fic

༄ ༄ ༄

The constant push-and-pull of your toxic relationship with your ex boyfriend was not something that you enjoyed, but rather something you very much craved. Why couldn’t you move on and heal like a normal person? Why did you keep subjecting yourself to this torture? Why couldn’t you resist?

It’s not like he cared about you or your feelings either. If he did, you wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place, his head between your thighs for the third night this week. 

“T-taehyun, slow down…”

He was eating you out like a man starved, as if he wasn’t doing this very thing the day before, relentless as his tongue constantly lapped at your juices. He just hums against your lips, waving off your concerns and he quickly makes you approach your orgasm. Grabbing a fistful of his hair you grind up into his face, his nose hitting your clit to give you the most pleasure. 

“Fuck, Taehyun,”

You say as you arch your back off the bed, orgasm coursing through you in waves. He licks up any excess juices while you catch your breath. 

“Think you can handle just a little bit more?” 

He says, unbuckling his belt and pulling off his jeans and boxers, dick hard and ready to pound into you. 

“What am I saying? Of course you can. You always were a little slut for my cock,”

His arrogance is one thing you didn’t miss about him. He lines up his dick with your entrance, barely giving you time to recover before fully pushing into you, bottoming out as your nails dig into his toned biceps. Your mouth hangs open at the intrusion, throat failing to produce a moan. 

He was right though, you always were ready for him at any point of the day. So hungry for his touch, the way he, no matter how bratty you were, always made you cum at least once before having his way with you. You would do anything to have his cock in you, and you both knew it. Even going as far as keeping him in your life despite the way he tries to control you, always demanding to know where you are or what your plans are. 

He pounds your hole deliciously, letting out little grunts here and there at how tight or wet you were. You could barely even look him in the eyes with how good he was giving it to you. 

“Hey. Eyes on me or I’m not moving, got it?”

You nod your head as he stills, opening your eyes to make eye contact with him and whining when he doesn’t continue even after you’ve obeyed his commands. He clenches your jaw firmly,

“What? My cock made you dumb already? Answer me, slut. Got it?” 

“Yes! I got it, please move!”

You’re begging as he lets go of your jaw, bringing your legs over his shoulders and deeply thrusting into you, tip hitting your cervix at the new angle. Your moans are replaced with screams as this new angle draws you closer to your second release. He can tell by the way that you’re clenching that you’re close. He dips his head down, kissing and biting all down your neck and chest, leaving bright red marks in their wake. Your voice breaks as you cum again, this time much harder than the last. He scoffs,

“You’re pathetic, ya know that?” 

He pushes into you a couple more times, releasing his load into your spent hole before pulling out, watching as a mix of both of your cum seeps out. You’re left laying in your bed, breath ragged as he cleans himself up, putting his pants on and throwing you a wet wipe to clean yourself up. You slowly wipe yourself down, wincing at the slight pain between your legs. 

“I’m busy tomorrow so don’t ask me to come over.” 

He says coldly before leaving you there, naked and alone. 

༄ ༄ ༄

The next day, you’re set to meet up with your friend, Chaeryeong for a little study date. As you’re getting ready you check yourself out in the mirror, noticing all the hickeys he’s left on your neck from the night before. Seething at the idea that he effectively marked you up like you’re still his to claim, you calm yourself down and find something to hide all the marks. Hoping a little color corrector and concealer will do the trick, you sling your bag over your shoulders, walking into the cold winter air, shivering as you walk to the cafe to meet Chaeryeong. Upon seeing her, you find two drinks waiting at the table. 

“Chaer, you're too sweet! Buying my drink for me? I love you,”

She stands up to give you a hug, laughing as you both sit down. You take off your jacket as you get comfortable, sipping at the hot latte that instantly warms you up from the inside. 

“I knew you would need it after the last few days you’ve had. You still let Taehyun do a number on you, huh?”

She says, gesturing to the slightly visible bruising still found on your neck. 

“Fuck, I thought I covered that up.”

You curse as you cover your neck with your hand, pulling your ear muffs over your neck to hide them. 

“Why are you still hooking up with him? He treats you like shit and you two broke up months ago. Why do you keep torturing yourself?”

You sigh knowing her words are coming from a place of genuine concern for your well being. Also because you didn't have an answer yourself. You didn't know why you kept going back to him, asking him for sex or always dropping everything when he asked you for it. 

“I don’t know. I’m just drawn to him. I just can’t say no.”

He always had this effect on you. Ever since you first started dating and things were still cute and sweet, whenever sex was mentioned you two were animals ready to pounce on each other. You just couldn't resist one another. Even after your breakup, your sexual chemistry was just too perfect to give up. You were afraid that you wouldn’t find anyone who could bring you feeling even half as much pleasure as Taehyun could bring you. 

“You’re being self-destructive again. He’s just using you for sex but you still like him, despite the way he treated you. You have Stockholm Syndrome.”

You chuckled at her joke but you couldn’t deny her point. 

“Alright, alright, can we get away from my destructive tendencies for a bit and focus on this exam we have to study for?” 

She just let the topic be, knowing that you didn’t like to talk about it but she just wanted to express her concern for you. 

༄ ༄ ༄

After your study session, Chaeryeong mentions a little party that her sorority is throwing, inviting you in hopes that you show up.

“A party? This weekend? I don’t know Chaer, I have a lot of work to do and we have that exam on Monday…”

“It's only Thursday and the party is Saturday night! If you lock in these next few days you should be fine! Please Y/N! I really want you to be there!”

You’re contemplating still, about to turn her down when you really think about it. A party at a sorority? Taehyun is bound to be there. You feign a perplexed look to hide the smirk trying to creep up your face.

“Oh, alright. I’ll come! But only because you bought me a latte today.”

You both laugh as you head back to your respective dorms. You felt bad about lying to her about the true reason behind your attendance, but you brush it off before you let your guilty conscience get the best of you. You decide that you need to get all your work done as soon as you can so you can actually attend the party on Saturday. You’re about to open your laptop when you get a message on your phone.

Dick Appointment😒:

coming over, leave your door unlocked

Looking at the message, you’re tempted to do as he says, thighs already rubbing together at the thought of him on top of you. But you think about Chaeryeong and all the work and exams you have to study for, deciding that your awaiting work is more important than getting dicked down. 

You:

thought you were busy today?

You knew your response would only be met with bitterness, but it was fun to mess with him whenever you could. But you really didn’t need him to come over.

Dick Appointment 😒:

coming over there to fuck that nasty attitude out of you

You:

can’t, have a lot of work to get done before this saturday 

Dick Appointment 😒:

why saturday? 

You roll your eyes as he blatantly ignores your need to get your work done. But what did you expect from someone who barely cared about you in the first place?

You:

going out with Chaeryeong and some friends, why do you care?

He reads the message but never responds, not that you’re surprised because he always loses interest as soon as the conversation shifts away from sex. Whatever, you had work to get done and you couldn’t afford any more distractions. 

༄ ༄ ༄

Saturday rolls around and you find yourself getting ready early, a reward for getting all your work done and having studied a good amount for your upcoming exam. You hadn’t gone out in a while so you took this chance to get all dolled up, partly because you wanted to look good for yourself, but mostly because you wanted Taehyun to find you irresistible, not that he didn’t already. He might act like a dick but it was you who he always came back to, right? That was the mindset you went into the night with, anyway. 

Finally ready to go out, you texted Chaeryeong that you were on your way. Upon arriving at the sorority house, you were met by an excited, already drunk Chaeryeong who hugged you while jumping up and down. 

“It always surprises me that you can get even more bubbly when you’re drunk.”

“You can say that again.”

You heard a familiar voice. You recognized the girl to be Yeji, one of Chaeryeong’s sorority sisters. 

“Yeji! It’s so good to see you again!.”

You give each other a hug before they let you in, handing you a shot to take with them. After taking a couple shots over the span of an hour, your body had loosened up, dancing with Chaeryeong and some of her friends as the alcohol coursed through your bodies. As you were dancing, you glance at the front door, a familiar group of boys catching your attention. Taehyun eyes you immediately, heading towards you. 

“We need to talk,”

His voice is stern and every bone in your body wanted to pull away from him, wanting to act out to see how he’d react. But you let him pull you away, assuring Chaeryeong, who held a confused and concerned expression on her face, that everything was alright. 

He drags you to an empty corner of the house, one where the music is just barely audible so you can actually have a conversation. 

“Is this what you meant by ‘going out?’ You’re at a fucking party.”

He practically hisses at you, pissed off that you didn’t tell him the whole truth about your activities. 

“Well I am out. And besides, you’re not my boyfriend anymore Taehyun, why should I tell you where I am or what I’m doing? So you can try to control me again like you did before?” 

You look unbothered as you scoff at him, not sure if it was the alcohol that was talking or if you were just finally fed up with him acting like he can get whatever he wants from you. He clenched his jaw in anger, an action you usually find irresistible. 

“Who do you think you are talking to me like that? As if I won’t just fuck you here in front of everyone. Then they’ll know you’re mine.” 

The way he’s walking up to you, essentially backing you up into the wall behind you doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but rather you see it as a challenge. His need to claim you is confusing, considering he wants nothing to do with you barring sex.  

“I’m not yours. And I never will be again. Act as tough as you want but I’m not yours Kang Taehyun.” 

You push back, backing him up on the wall opposite to the one he had you against. He lets you push him back before swiftly holding your waist and pinning you up against the wall instead. 

“Don’t make me mark you up again, Y/N, you know I’m not afraid to do it.”

“You’re a dick you know that?” 

“Oh I know, sweetheart,” 

He says before harshly smashing his lips against yours. The kiss is sloppy and needy, tongues everywhere as you both try to get impossibly closer. Teeth biting your bottom lip, he breaks away to trail his kisses down your neck, creating new bruises over the ones that just barely healed from a few days prior. You try your best to bite back a moan, not allowing him the satisfaction of you giving into him. 

“You’re a sadistic fuck, what’s wrong with you?”

He continues his barrage on your neck and collar, biting down especially hard at your comment, causing you to wince at the pain, feeling the tiniest bit of blood trickle down your neck. 

“What the fuck did you say to me you little brat? Are you forgetting who holds the power here?” 

“I’d be surprised if you thought you did.” 

You’re provoking him at this point. You knew you stood no chance against him, you couldn’t beat him at his own game. But you were certainly going to make it more difficult for him, challenging his every step with your bratty comments and actions. 

“Oh so you’re being a brat on purpose. You want me to go hard on you? Or maybe I should go easy, and give you the opposite of what you want?” 

You’re not ready to relinquish control yet, as if you had it in the first place. But to you, this was your own personal victory. Riling up Taehyun who was normally very private about being intimate with anyone, especially you. Acting out like this in a place where anyone could catch you at any time. This was your win. 

“Fuck you, Taehyun.” 

“Oh, I will.”

You’re taken aback as he feels you up under your shirt, lifting it enough to expose your stomach. The cool air and his cold hands on your warm body cause you to shiver into him, hand moving up to his shoulder to ground yourself. He was roughly kneading your tits together, pinching your nipples that perked up against his cold fingers. You’re fighting every fiber in your being to hold back a moan, strained breaths taking their place. He takes this as a challenge, taking his mouth to your tits and biting down hard on the soft flesh. You reel back into the wall, arching your back and pushing your chest further into his face. He takes the chance to mark up your tits as well, taking your nipples between his teeth, sucking and biting. Coupled with the pain you’re feeling pleasure. As much as you hated feeling pain, it felt so good when Taehyun was the one giving it to you. 

“Come on you little slut, make the noises you want everyone to hear. You never hold back when we’re alone, what’s different now? Didn’t you want people to catch us?”

He’s taunting you and it's working, biting your lip raw to suppress any moans. He slots his knee between your legs, letting your pussy rest against his thigh. His hands move to your waist, helping you grind yourself on his thigh, something you tried to stop yourself from doing. But your attempts to stop yourself were futile, finding your own body betraying you as the flexed muscle of his thigh along with the rough fabric of your jeans hit your clit perfectly. Slowly, some whimpers leave your throat, followed by shallow breathing. Your head was spinning, intoxicated by Taehyun, the effects of the alcohol barely present. 

“You’re dumb again and I haven’t even had my way with you yet? Typical,”

You wanna bite back but your words fail you, pushing a moan past your lips instead, involuntarily agreeing to his claim. 

“Fuck…”

He grabs you by the wrist, halting any pleasure to your body as he harshly pulls you into an empty bedroom. His hands are on you instantly, hands going into your jeans to cup your ass. He pulls you in close, kissing and sucking on your lips as your hands get lost in his hair. You let your moans free, not being able to hold them back any longer. You curse your weak resolve, something you’d beat yourself up over later. He has your pants off in no time, pulling his own down as he lifts you up, letting your back hit the door shut as he has you firmly pressed up against it. You’re embarrassingly wet, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him. 

“You’re never gonna escape me. Only I can make you so wet like this by barely giving you anything.”

You hate yourself for constantly going back to him, but the way he acts, even if it's stuck up and you hate it– always has you coming back for more. He was right, no one could make you feel as good as he can. 

He thrusts into you, breaking you out of your thoughts and coaxing a long and drawn out whimper from you. Your head hits the back of the door pretty hard, but you don’t feel the pain as Taehyun drilling into you completely relieves you from it. His thrusts are sharp and rough, skin slapping loud as he puts more and more force into fucking you, releasing all the pent up anger and frustration you just put in him. Your grip is everywhere, in his hair, on his shoulders, running up and down his arms, anything to try and stabilize yourself as you feel your legs start to wobble. 

Of course he knew when you were close, harshly pulling out of you. 

“FUCK YOU!”

It's almost like you can’t control your emotions as he rips your orgasm away from you. You wanted to cry at the ache and frustration, so used to getting what you want from him. He rarely ever edged you, finding too much pride at making you cum quickly with a couple thrusts, it actually hurt him a little to not finish you off. But you had to be punished for acting out. You smack at his shoulders as he puts you down, only to spin you around, leaning you over the bed. In front of the bed is a large vanity mirror, one that gives you a perfect view of the entire room, and the menacing look on Taehyun’s face. He yanks you by the hair, holding your head up as he walks up between your legs. 

“Watch yourself get ruined by my cock. Watch yourself fall apart as you realize you can’t live without me or my dick. Want to cum? Don’t close your fucking eyes you dirty slut.”

His words are venomous, but you can't get enough as you’re backing your hips into him, asking for it like you’re in heat. He delivers a particularly hard and loud slap to your ass, grinning as he watches it bounce. There's something about the way that he just looks down at you like you're nothing but a sleeve for him to drown his dick in that gets you going.

“Hurry up”

Another hard slap to your ass and yank of your hair keep you at bay, holding your tongue back at the pain. 

“Shut up! I’ll give it to you when I think you deserve it.”

He pulls your head back almost completely, using his hand to hold your jaw open as he spits into your mouth. You try your best to seductively swallow his spit, hoping that he’ll ease up on you and finally give you what you want. He runs his hands up and down your body, rubbing his tip over your cunt to tease you. He can’t wait to be in you again, sliding in and bottoming out immediately. 

You’re trying your best to keep your hips still, no longer being able to keep up your front, worried he’ll stop his movements if you push back onto him. He can sense your obedience, and brings a hand over your stomach and down to your clit, toying with it, thrusts nothing short of unforgiving. Your mouth is hung open from the pleasure, moans non-existent as your throat is too dry to produce them. You’re clenching over him, orgasm quickly approaching.

“See how you get rewarded when you’re being good for me? Finally you fucking learn”

But something in you always has to challenge him. It’s like second nature, even when you don’t want to respond back to him, you do, out of spite. Out of the growing hatred you have for the man who you can’t seem to detach yourself from. 

“If I don’t get it from you I’ll get it from someone else”

Silence. No moans, no thrusts, no sounds of your slick rubbing against your folds. It’s almost like you broke him. 

“If you can get it from someone else, then I should just stop here, right? You can finish from someone else using you like this?” 

He slides out of you, delivering yet another harsh slap to your ass, this time much harder than the last and leaving a bright red hand print. The tears that were brimming your eyes many times during the night are finally at their limits, pushing past your eyes and falling down your face. 

“Taehyun I… I’m so sorry I didn’t mean any of that please, please help me I’m sorry!”

You knew better than to grovel. If anything, this would make your attachment to him worse. But you were nothing short of a nymphomaniac, only caring about the need to cum and the feelings surrounding it later, once you’ve gotten your fill— literally. 

“I can’t stand you”

He flips you over, slamming back into you again as you scream, this time his name flows out of your mouth. You’re so grateful that begging worked, but you’re just as annoyed at yourself for repeating the cycle over and over again. This time you’re face to face with him, never breaking eye contact as his previous rule still stood. ‘Watch yourself get ruined’ but instead you’d watch him, ruining you physically and emotionally. 

All the mental barriers you put up around him, all the back talk telling him to stop asking about your plans and what you’ll be doing, all the attempts at trying to be better than him and meaner than him, all severing at the promise of what? The possibility that you’ll get to cum? You couldn’t stand yourself either. 

His hands were tight around your waist, bruising the supple skin as he hammered into you for the nth time. He was driving you up the wall, your release crashing over you in mere seconds. Writhing under him, you’re panting like a dog, not being able to handle the immediate over sensitivity that you’re feeling. You always were a sucker for the way his eyes peered into your soul every time you guys had sex, like he still cared, like he still wished you were his. 

But part of you wondered about his actions just now. 

Why did he care so much about the comments that you made, knowing they were false threats because you always went back to him? Was it just a pride thing? Was he so committed to the bit of claiming you that he just got a little too intense? Or did he still harbor secret feelings for you? 

You’re pulled out of your thoughts at the feeling of him filling you up to the brim, but not yet pulling out. 

“If you really want whatever this is between us to end, just say so. I can’t play these games if you’re gonna threaten to get fucked by someone else.”

Did he really still have feelings for you? Or was this just another one of his attempts to control you, manipulate you into staying with him indirectly?

“You fuck me like no one else can. I have to keep you on your toes though, right?”

The smirk that forms on his face at your words is the first time in a while you’ve seen his face relax. Like you made the right choice and he was so pleased with your words. 

“You just love making things difficult, don’t you?”

You chuckle at his words, confirming them.

You had the perfect opportunity for an out, but of course you didn't take it. Because why not subject yourself to more emotional pain and damage when you can have the best fuck of your life whenever you wanted it, right?

[parfaitblogs]

pretty isn't pretty ❀ s. reid x reader

in which the man you take home drunk meets the person you are sober, and he's all too forgiving for a stranger you'll probably only see once. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: fluff (18+ for suggestive content) tags: alcohol consumption. reader has a bad relationship with her body. elusions to a hookup.  word count: 2.2k a/n: this isn't ooc for spencer reid you've just never hooked up with him. and that's ok. but i have. happy valentine's day from australia!! yay!!

"love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. and therefore is winged cupid blind." (a midsummer night's dream, william shakespeare)

There's a downpour of rain that came on so suddenly it had shocked you and your friends into a nearby bar. Droplets splattering against pavement and bouncing up to your otherwise exposed ankles. A skirt a poor choice of clothing for the cool air of a February night. 

The bar is small. You're sure if you concentrated hard enough, you could indulge yourself in each and every conversation happening around it. Men by the pool table succeeding at impressing the three girls they had found; gloating about their skills. An older couple huddled up in the back corner of the bar, two barely touched beers between them. A group of friends similar to your own occupying a booth and laughing louder than anyone else in the bar. 

A man. Alone. A glass of clear liquid that looks like water — but surely not? — between his hands, and a bartender talking to him and preparing more drinks. 

You connect the man to the group of people in the booth, for he turns his head and stares at them for a few seconds, lips moving as he counts them up. 

Then, his head turns to investigate the sudden rush of cold air entering the bar, and he meets your eyes. Newfound confidence — or the final tequila shot you took during pre's — kicks in, and your feet are carrying you over to him, a mere locking of a gaze inviting you in. You think. 

Maybe you're tipsier than you thought. 

"Do you need a hand with those?" you ask him, nodding your head towards the six glasses all filled to the brim, resting atop the bar. 

He hesitates, and glances back at the group of people in the booth, who are less concerned with him now that another conversation has piqued their interest. 

"If you're offering," he nods, picking up two of the glasses. "Though, it isn't wise of me to let a stranger handle my friends' drinks."

"You can pat me down first if you want," you reply, holding your arms out, as if you were in TSA. "See for yourself, officer."

He chokes on nothing, his eyes wide, and a coughing fit ensues for several seconds after. "It's—um, agent. Actually."

Your eyebrows shoot up, and your hands drop back by your side when he doesn't move to check for illicit substances on your person. You assume that means he trusts you.

"That's fancy," you quip, picking up three of the glasses. "What makes you an agent?"

"Working for the government," he replies, leading you over to the table, where you help him put the drinks on the table. "I left my water at the bar."

An expert excuse to drag you away from his group of friends before they have a chance to engage with you, really. 

"Working for the government," you parrot back to him, leaning against the bar when he does. "Do I get to ask more questions, or is it your turn now?"

"You can ask more questions."

He tells you his name when you ask. You tell him yours. 

And more questions got you drunk. More questions got you dragging him back to your apartment. More questions got you barely picking your feet up as you walk backwards, stumbling, as his lips kiss your own, and his hands hold your waist against his. 

Your hands fumble with the door handle of your bedroom, and you take the few seconds to silently pray to the universe that the girl who left the house earlier didn't leave fifteen failed outfit options strewn throughout it. 

You don't get a chance to turn around and check, for his lips are back on yours the second the door swings open, and he takes barely a moment to locate your bed in the room. If there are clothes everywhere, he doesn't make it an issue. 

He was a really good kisser. Mind blackening, body tingling, head reeling good. Every sound that hit your ears came from your own lips, you're sure. 

He breaks the kiss only to murmur, "Sorry," when the backs of your knees hit your bed frame, but you're a little too happy to care about the inevitable bruise currently forming on the skin there. 

Fingers of yours drag up to his scalp and entangle within his hair as you lay back on the bed, and he follows you down.

You force him to kiss you. Again. 

"Do you do this often?" you ask him, breathlessly, when he pulls away to litter his generous kisses over the skin of your jawline and neck.

"What?" he asks, hair covering his eyes as he pauses to look back up at you.

"Go home with girls from bars."

"Will you believe me if I say you're the first?" he moves back up to level his face with your own. 

"Probably not."

"You should."

You do.

Unfortunately, the question stemmed from the weird middle ground between being so drunk you don't remember five minutes ago, and being so sober you overthink every decision, accompanied by the sick crash from the sugar in your drinks. Which meant your liquid courage was dissipating with every ticking second, and you were retreating back into the secluded palace of your mind. 

It was why, when his fingers hook beneath the hem of your shirt, your own hands fly to stop him, wrapping around his wrists and freezing him in motion.

"What's wrong?" he asks. 

That causes you to freeze. 

You're not sure if telling this inherent stranger that you don't want him to take off your clothes because you're remembering why you don't do hookups and are suddenly feeling too insecure to want to sleep with him is a good idea. But there's something about the way his eyes are filled with so much concern, instead of the frustration you expected, that makes you want to spill every single secret you have out to him. 

"I'm... um..." you hesitate, and he leans back enough for you to crawl out from beneath him, hugging your knees to your chest as you do every self secluding human trait there is. From your eyes fixating on your bedding, to your fingers interlacing and fidgeting with each other. 

He doesn't rush you to talk. 

"I just... don't think I can do hookups. With strangers," you sigh, defeated. "I'm sorry I made you come all the way here for—well, nothing."

He's still silent, and it's your eyes lifting to try and read his expression that triggers him into a response. 

"We don't have to have sex for me to enjoy your presence," he replies. "I enjoyed talking to you."

"Yeah, but—" you force air through your nose to stop yourself from scaring him off with a verbal rant "—you don't know me. Not really. You came home with me with the intent of sleeping with me. And now I'm telling you we can't do that, so you can go."

His eyes burn against your skin as he studies you. "Do you want me to leave?"

The answer should be yes. You don't know this man, and he does not know you. Yet, there's a clawing need to ask him to stay. So you can get to know him, and him, you.

"No," you fidget with your fingers again. He chooses not to stop you. "I liked talking to you too."

"Great," he picks his feet up and crosses them on your bed. You hope your cringing at his shoes on your bedding isn't visible. "Can I ask why you don't do hookups?"

"So you can read my mind?" you quip, and his lips twitch into a smile as he huffs. 

"Let it go."

"You can't tell me your job is to read minds and expect me to let it go."

"My job is to use behavioural analysis to build the profile of a criminal," he replies. "Not to read minds."

"Sounds exactly like something a mind reader would say," you bite down on your bottom lip to stop the dumb grin from spreading across your face at the way he's looking at you. Unimpressed, but ultimately amused. 

"Well, this isn't me trying to read your mind. There's many reasons why someone might not want to have sex. I want to know yours, so I know how to approach the topic in the future."

Your breathing stops, but you force yourself not to focus on the implications of his words. Excitement for a man you met that night was never wise. He could ghost you come tomorrow morning, you remind yourself. 

"It's kind of heavy," you say, lifting your gaze to look at him through cautious eyes. 

"I can do heavy."

You purse your lips. "I don't know," you stretch your legs out in front of him. He takes them and sets them in his lap, and your heart flutters. "I don't like the idea of someone I don't know seeing me naked."

Hands ghost over your skin. "Why?"

Your head lowers to your fidgeting hands. "I'm just not happy with how I look, I guess? If somebody doesn't know me for my personality, they don't have anything to stick around for if they see me the way I see myself. Not to say I have a stellar personality. But I'd like to have at least one redeeming quality. Because... my body... isn't..." your voice is small by the time you finish, and you're skeptical as you face your fears to stare up at him once more. 

He visibly swallows, and you regret every word that had just left your mouth within seconds. So much for the whole not scaring him off thing.

"You don't have to say anything," you break the silence that only lasted a few seconds, anyways. "It's a weird personal thing. I'm fine with having sex with partners. Obviously. It's just strangers."

"I think," he pauses, and his hands stop their stroking on your legs as he strings together his words. "I think you're with people that are too shallow if they don't still want you after seeing your body."

"Well—um, nobody's actually ghosted me after sleeping with me..."

And now you feel dumb. Admitting to having an insecurity that's entirely baseless is dumb. He's probably turning over the very thought that you're dumb inside his head, and formulating a plan to get out of here, and—

"I get it," he surprises you instead. "But in the opposite way. My personality isn't for everyone. Or anyone, is a better way to put it."

"I like your personality," you tilt your head to the side.

He smiles weakly at your attempt of reassurance. "You've known me for one night. And you were drunk for most of it."

"So I'm not allowed to like your personality?" you challenge. "Isn't there something about not needing much time to know whether or not you like someone?"

"Sort of. We can determine a few things about people within those first few seconds, but they aren't set in stone forever. What you like now, might become annoying in a few months time," he says. 

"I don't think I'll find you annoying in a few months time," you murmur.

"And I don't think I'll dislike your body. But you won't believe me, and I won't believe you," he counters. "Make sense?"

"Yeah," you nod. "Is this some weird mind reading thing to manipulate me into sleeping with you?"

"No, because I can't read minds," he shoots you a look, "and I also don't care about having sex with you tonight. I can wait."

He can wait. You hope you don't look stupid smiling at the concept of him waiting for you, implying he will be here for more than just one night. 

"I think a psyche evaluation for a first date is kind of insane," you say.

"I can make it up to you?" he offers, and you stare with keen interest. "We can go get coffee. Or something. I won't analyse your behaviour during it."

"That doesn't close off the possibility of you reading my mind, though."

"What would I find?" he then asks, throwing you off balance. 

"If you read my mind?" he nods at your question. "Um... a lot of insecurities, I think. My friends. Song lyrics. My favourite colour... what would I find in yours?"

"A lot," his hands drag along your shins. "I don't even know where to begin."

"It's the high as fuck IQ," you shake your head, dismissively; jokingly. "I hate it. Stop thinking."

"I do with you, I think. Well, I haven't really thought about much else other than you. Which isn't common. I can usually split my attention well."

"Is it because you can't split it, or don't want to?" you ask him.

"Both. I'm quite content just listening to and thinking about you."

You duck your head as a smile paints your lips. "Welcome to normal brains."

"Thank you. I don't mind them."

"Give it a few weeks."

His shoulders shake as he laughs, and you think the sight is wonderful, and you're easing back up post anxiety. You have to applaud him for doing it so quickly, and so well.

Laughter and the positive tension between you two dies down, and you're left looking at him with fond eyes and the same stupid smile on your face. All while he's staring back at you, and you're sure you can see his attention fail to stay on your eyes, for his gaze keeps dropping to your lips.

"I haven't thought about much but you, too," you say. 

He kisses you.

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[4urvalidation]

FALLING BACK TO YOU

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⸰ .° ☆ ° ☆ °. ⸰ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

I promised myself I wasn't gonna do anything more than write a tiny little blurb and call it a day, but sometimes you do things and they grow on you and suddenly you find yourself making playlists and pinterest boards and plans where to take the story next.

That being said - thank you to @issabellec7 for making the wheels in my head spin uncontrollably. This entire work is completely dedicated to you and I hope you love it just as much as I enjoy writing it.

Sidenote: Are y'all gonna hate me if I give Y/N a name? Cause I'm thinking Astrid and kinda loving it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⸰ .° ☆ ° ☆ °. ⸰ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

SUMMARY: Three years ago, Kook!Princess (Astrid) and Rafe began a secret love affair that lasted for an entire summer, until her parents found out and forbade Rafe from ever seeing their daughter again. Now, twenty-two years old and somewhat sober, he spends his days working a dull office job at his father’s company wondering if he’ll ever get to relive the golden days of his teenage years.

CONTENT WARNING: MDNI!!! Reader/YN has a name; Dual POV; Mentions of alcohol and drug use; Slight AU - Rafe is not a psycho killer, but a drug addicted former fratboy & speaking of addiction, he is trying to get sober, but his sobriety is always on very thin ice; eventual smut; cheating; age gap relationship (between love interest & husband); volatile child/parent dynamics (both Rafe & love interest have abusive parents); no JJ to Rafe pipeline and probably more that I will as the story progresses....

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⸰ .° ☆ ° ☆ °. ⸰ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

A/N: Not sure how soon or often this will be updated, considering how my hands are currently full with A Case of Limerence. But I will do my best to give the people what they want cause I love you guys ✨Thank you for sparing a couple of minutes of your day to read what I write - I really appreciate it. And as always, let me know if you want to be tagged.

@rebeccapineapple @sereneera

[alittlegiraffe]

Hiii i was wondering if i could request an eminem x reader, where reader is a popstar in the 90s-00s and her and em date secretly off and on between 99-02 and have a crazy connection but break up until the 2010s after marshall gets sober because they just couldnt get over eachother??? (Sorry if thats confusing or complex lol)

A/N: I really couldn't think of a way to add in her being a pop star without making it weird. Hope this is close enough.

Title: Still You

You never expected to hear from him again.

It had been years—years of moving on, of pretending you were fine, of forcing yourself to believe that some things just weren’t meant to be.

But then, out of nowhere, your phone rang.

And it was him.

You stared at the name on the screen, your heart hammering in your chest. Part of you thought about letting it go to voicemail, but your hands had a mind of their own, answering before you could stop yourself.

"...Hello?"

A Marshall Mathers x Reader Fanfiction

A beat of silence. Then, his voice—lower, rougher than you remembered, but still him.

"Hey."

You swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the counter. "Marshall?"

"Yeah." A breath, like he was trying to figure out what to say. "Uh… I know this is outta nowhere. I just—I needed to tell you somethin’."

You braced yourself. "Okay."

He exhaled, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer. "I got sober."

Your heart clenched.

You had dreamt of hearing those words—had begged for them back then, when you were still by his side, still trying to pull him out of the darkness he refused to see.

But he hadn’t been ready. And it had broken you.

"...Wow," you whispered, your throat tight. "Marshall, that’s—God, that’s amazing."

He let out a quiet laugh, almost disbelieving. "Yeah. Took me long enough."

You shook your head, even though he couldn’t see it. "No. You did it when you were ready. And I’m—" Your voice wavered. "I’m so damn proud of you."

Silence stretched between you, heavy with everything unspoken.

Finally, he cleared his throat. "I don’t expect anything from this call," he admitted. "I just… I needed to tell you. ‘Cause losing you? That was my rock bottom. And I just—" He hesitated. "Thank you."

You pressed a hand to your chest, trying to steady your breathing.

You had spent so long wondering if he had ever thought about you, if he had ever missed you the way you missed him.

And now, here he was, saying the words you had ached to hear.

"Marshall," you murmured, voice thick with emotion. "I never—" You paused, swallowing hard before trying again. "I never stopped loving you."

His breath hitched.

Your eyes burned with unshed tears. "I missed you every day. I still do."

The silence that followed wasn’t heavy this time. It was hopeful.

Like maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t the end of your story.

Maybe it never had to be.

Neither of you spoke for a long moment.

Marshall was still on the other end of the line, you could hear his breathing—uneven, like your words had knocked the air out of him.

You hadn’t meant to say it.

You weren’t supposed to say it.

But it had been there for years, locked away behind pride and heartbreak, and the second he called, the second you heard his voice, it all cracked wide open.

"You still—" He stopped, cleared his throat. "You still miss me?"

You closed your eyes. "Every day, Marshall."

Another silence. But this one felt different—charged, thick with something unsaid.

Finally, he let out a soft, disbelieving laugh. "Shit… I dunno what to say to that."

You smiled, shaking your head. "You don’t have to say anything."

He exhaled sharply. "Nah, I do. ‘Cause I miss you, too. Always did. Even when I tried to pretend I didn’t."

You leaned against the counter, gripping your phone tighter. "Then why didn’t you ever call before?"

He sighed. "Didn’t think I had the right to." A pause. "I fucked it up. I hurt you. And I knew if I ever wanted to fix shit, I had to fix me first."

Your heart twisted.

The man you had walked away from was stubborn, reckless—too lost in his addiction to see what he was destroying. But this? This was different.

This was growth.

This was him finally seeing himself the way you had always seen him.

"Are you happy?" you asked quietly.

Marshall hesitated. "Gettin’ there," he admitted. "S’not easy. Some days are harder than others. But I feel… clearer. More like myself than I have in years."

A warmth spread through your chest. "That’s all I ever wanted for you."

"I know," he murmured. "And I was too fucked up to see it."

Another silence. Another shift in the air.

Finally, he spoke again, voice careful. "Do you think… we could see each other?"

Your breath hitched.

You should’ve been scared. Should’ve hesitated.

But you didn’t.

"Yeah," you whispered. "I’d like that."

And for the first time in years, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

Right back where you started.

Right back where you belonged.

---

You hadn’t let yourself think about that night in a long time.

It was easier to bury it, to pretend that the final fight—the one that ended it all—was just another moment lost in the wreckage of what you and Marshall used to be.

But after hearing his voice again, after agreeing to see him, it all came rushing back like a wound torn open.

It had started like so many fights before—words sharp enough to cut, his eyes glassy, his hands twitching as he paced the living room.

"Why the fuck do you always have to start shit?" he had snapped, running a hand over his face.

You had laughed, but there was no humor in it. "I’m not starting shit, Marshall. I’m begging you to wake the fuck up."

He rolled his eyes, turning away from you, muttering something under his breath.

"Don’t do that," you had hissed. "Don’t act like I’m the problem when you’re the one getting high out of your mind every night."

He scoffed. "Oh, right. Because you never fucked up, huh? You’re so fucking perfect."

"This isn’t about me!" You had thrown your hands up, frustration boiling over. "This is about you being too fucking blind to see what you’re doing to yourself—to us."

"Jesus Christ, here we go again," he had muttered.

That’s when you lost it.

"You know what? Yeah, here we go again, Marshall! The same fucking cycle, the same excuses, the same bullshit. You promise you’ll get better, and I believe you, and then you turn around and prove me wrong every single time."

He had glared at you, jaw clenched, breathing heavy. "If I’m so fucking hopeless, why are you still here?"

And that’s when you knew.

Because the truth was, you had already been gone for a long time.

Your body was still in that house, your heart still trying to hold on, but the person you were—the person who had once believed he would fight for you, for himself—she had left months ago.

You had swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing your voice to stay steady. "I don’t know," you had admitted.

That had stopped him in his tracks.

His expression had changed—not angry, not defensive. Just… lost.

You had seen the flicker of something behind his eyes, something real, something terrified.

But it was too late.

"I can’t do this anymore," you had whispered. "I love you, Marshall. But I can’t watch you destroy yourself."

His hands had curled into fists at his sides. "So that’s it?" His voice had cracked. "That’s it?"

And maybe, if he had said something else—anything else—you would’ve stayed.

But he hadn’t.

He had just stared at you, letting the silence fill the space between you, his pride swallowing the words he was too afraid to say.

So you had turned around, grabbed your bag, and walked out the door.

And he had let you.

Now, sitting on your couch, your phone still clutched in your hands, you let out a shaky breath.

He had let you walk away back then.

But tonight?

Tonight, he was the one who reached out.

And maybe—just maybe—this time, neither of you would let go.

[sillylilsquid]

Real life Romance book pt 5/?

✨alternate universe Hyun Ju x reader ✨summary: in which you meet Hyun Ju at your work, and quickly become friends. you've never dated a woman, but something about Hyun Ju was different. She made you feel a fire in your chest, and though you didn't understand it you were ready to try.  ✨trigger warnings: afab reader, sexual themes. minors dni, 18+ ✨2.8k words

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。

The sun peaking through your curtains made the pounding in your head even worse. You groaned, stuffing your face into your pillow. Laying there you tried to play through the events of the evening before. You remembered going to the club with your friends and girlfriend, but not much after that. You knew you only got home safely because of Hyun Ju, and you were very thankful for that. Slowly you sat up, rubbing your eyes in hopes to sober you up a little bit more. You noticed your room looked a lot more tidy than the evening before, and you knew damn well you hadn’t cleaned it in your drunken stupor. A glass of water sat on your bedside table, you smiled, eagerly grabbing for it. Chugging it down you looked down at your clothes seeing you were in pajamas. Hyun Ju must have helped you change–and as sweet as it was, the thought made you nervous. You prayed you hadn’t made a fool of yourself last night.

Once you felt up to it you got out of bed and rummaged around for your phone. It was sitting in your purse, dead from being off the charger all night. Sighing, you plugged in and began to clean yourself up. You brushed your teeth and washed your face, and you found that it was much easier since your makeup had been removed. What a kind woman, you thought. You ran a brush through your hair and braided it to keep it away from your face. You knew you needed a shower to wash the smell of sweat and alcohol off your body, but you wanted to call Hyun Ju first. Impatiently you waited for your phone to charge enough to even turn on. As soon as you were able to, you dialed Hyun Ju’s number.

Hyun Ju had messaged you a few times that morning, but seeing they were green and not blue she assumed your phone had died. That was one thing she forgot to do before leaving last night; of course she cleaned your whole place but managed to forget plugging in your phone. That morning she did her usual routine after returning from the gym. She dressed herself in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a shirt, her hair messily pulled into a ponytail. Leaning against her kitchen island, she finished her morning coffee and she heard her phone vibrate against the counter. Quickly, she grabbed it. Seeing your contact photo of the two of you made her smile as she answered your call. “Good morning sleepy girl.” she spoke, setting her coffee mug down. You groaned on the other end, your throat feeling raw. “Sorry, I didn’t realize my phone died. Thank you for last night.” you responded. “You didn’t have to clean up my place…but I really appreciate it.” Hyun Ju smiled, trying to keep herself from laughing. “How many times have I told you? You can’t just let random people into your place; first it starts by them doing your chores, next thing you know you’re dead.” she teased, bursting out in laughter. You sat on the other end of the phone, shaking your head at her joke. “Ha ha, very funny. Better watch yourself or I’ll take my key back.” the both of you knew that was an empty threat. 

“Can you come over? I really feel like shit, and I just want to see my girlfriend.” you whined, and of course she agreed. “But maybe wait a little bit, I need to shower and change my clothes and stuff,” you explained, but she cut you off. “No need to wait, I’ll be over soon. You can shower once I’m there.” “Wait, why should I wait?” you tried to ask and with that she hung up. You sat on your bed, mouth hung open at her words. Shower? With her here? Surely she didn’t mean together, right? Shaking your head you headed to the bathroom, found some ibuprofen and quickly swallowed them down with another glass of water. With how close Hyun Ju lived to your apartment you knew she would arrive shortly. 

Hyun Ju made one quick stop to the coffee shop on her way over. She ordered you a tea in hopes it would make you feel a little better. Arriving at your place she locked her car and walked inside, up the stairs, and yet again politely knocked on your front door. This woman. You stood, feet shuffling to the door and unlocked it for her. When you pulled it open you were surprised to be greeted by her in such a casual outfit. You were used to her always being so tidy and well dressed, but you found this side of her just as attractive. Shyly you stepped to the side so she could enter. As she kicked off her shoes she stuck out her hand with the cup of tea, which you grabbed eagerly. “Thank you!” you exclaimed, sipping it slowly so as to not burn your mouth. The warm liquid soothed your throat as you swallowed it. “You’re welcome sweet girl. Now, if I remember correctly you need to shower, and change. It’ll make you feel a lot better.” you blushed as you looked down at yourself. “Geez I didn’t think I looked that bad.” you muttered. She chuckled, her hand forcing your chin up so you would meet her eyes. “Hush now. You know that’s not what I meant. Come on,” she leaned down, giving you a tender kiss. When she grabbed your wrist to drag you towards the bathroom you followed her obediently. 

She turned on the water, testing it with her hand before giving you the okay. You stood there staring at her with wide eyes. She raised her eyebrows as if waiting for you to either say something or undress. “Can you…could you turn around, please?” you asked, fumbling with the bottom of your cotton pajama top shyly. Hyun Ju laughed, her mouth opened briefly as if she wanted to say something but nodded instead and turned around. Once you knew she wasn’t looking you quickly undressed and stumbled into the shower snapping the curtain shut behind you. You heard her footsteps leave the bathroom and return a few minutes later, making you peek your head out. She had grabbed you a clean shirt and a pair of panties. You recognized the shirt as one of her own that she had let you borrow one time when you spilled coffee all over yours. The gesture made you smile. You tucked yourself back in the shower and tried to focus on washing off the night before. 

“I knew you wouldn’t remember last night.” she finally spoke. Her tone held a hint of disappointment, but you knew she didn’t mean it rudely. You couldn’t help but peek out again barely enough to see her leaning against the bathroom counter, her arms crossed lazily over her chest. The image made your knees weak. “Why? Did I do something stupid?” you asked, raking your fingers through your hair to detangle it. Her eyes drifted to you, admiring you and you blushed realizing you were standing with your chest barely covered by the curtain. You disappeared back into the water. She stayed silent for a moment then hummed. “You don’t remember trying to rip my clothes off? I’m offended.” she teased, giggling. Once her words registered you were mortified. She had to be playing with you. “No way, I–did I really?” you asked, your voice becoming small as you grew embarrassed. “Don’t feel bad, you were really drunk, I knew you didn’t mean it.” that made you gasp. “I did mean it! Wait, no–I mean like, well of course I want to do that but…” you stopped talking knowing you were only making things worse. “Sweet girl, it’s okay.” she responded kindly, her voice sounded like it was just on the other side of the curtain. Hesitantly you moved to look out at her, being met with her beautiful dark eyes. She leaned in, giving you a quick kiss. You finished your shower in silence, soon turning the water off. You went to reach for your towel and saw it wasn’t on the counter, but in Hyun Ju’s hands. She stood close motioning for you to get out. Clearing your throat you looked down at your body before taking a deep breath. You held that breath as you shyly pushed the curtain open. She helped you step out of the shower and proceeded to dry you off. As her hands explored your body you shivered, partly from the cold and partly from being so close to her.

Once she knew you were dry enough she helped you get dressed, and somehow standing there in front of the mirror in just a large shirt and panties made you feel even more exposed. Hyun Ju stood behind you, her height towering over your smaller frame. She began to brush your hair and you watched her in the mirror, occasionally your eyes would meet and every time she would flash you a smile. “I’ll be ready one day, soon even, just not yet.” she explained and when you didn’t answer she spoke again. “In the meantime at least let me admire you.” she sat down your hairbrush, and let her hands drag up your thighs. They landed to rest on your hips. It made your shirt lift slightly, your panties exposed. You blushed profusely. “Take all the time you need,” you whispered, craning your neck to look back at her. Her hands gave your hips a squeeze with a smirk. She removed them from your waist, your shirt falling back down over your thighs. Her strong hands now traced over your shoulders, down your arms, across your stomach. They left the feeling of fire every place they touched. “You know how hard it was to resist you? You sat there, so needy…you gave me this look with your eyes,” she spoke, her voice heavy with… lust?  You weren’t exactly sure, but you were sure that you were quickly getting turned on. Staring back at her reflection you knew the exact look she was talking about. You used it a lot to get what you wanted, something you had mastered throughout your dating history. Your eyes met hers in the mirror, and you gave her that exact look. She seemed to freeze, eyes widening. “Tease.” she whispered in your ear. You shivered at the feeling, and you knew you had to stop or else you’d be yet again trying to rip her clothes off her.

You leaned back into her touch briefly before bending down and slipping out of her grasp. “Let’s go watch a movie or something–my feet are killing me!” you exclaimed, running to your couch and flopping on it. Hyun Ju remained in the bathroom for a moment trying to collect herself then followed you out to the couch. You were also trying to force yourself to calm down and think of anything else, but it was so damn hard. When she sat down next to you her arm wrapped around your shoulders, and you tucked yourself into her side. She picked out something to watch but didn’t plan on watching most of it–she was too focused on you. On your body, and that look you gave her. Hyun Ju felt that familiar tight feeling growing in her stomach. 

Slyly you reached over to place your hand against her stomach, acting as if you didn’t even know you were doing it. As the two of you “watched the movie” your hand idly played with the hem of her shirt. She’d tense every so often when your fingers would brush against her skin. After a bit though you grew bold. You scooted closer, practically sitting on her lap so you could place kisses along her neck. Hyun Ju let out a sigh, it tickled your ear making you shiver. Before you could register what was happening, she had pulled you onto her lap. She kissed you, her lips moving feverishly against your own. She hadn’t moved your hands so you decided to take your shot. Slowly you started pushing her shirt up exposing the soft skin of her stomach. You broke the kiss to admire her, but to also check on her and see if she was okay. Her eyes were closed, head hung back to rest against the back of the couch. Her breath coming out in soft pants. You continued to move her shirt up, past her bra and Hyun Ju raised up her arms. 

“Hyunnie,” you whispered, it was the nickname you knew was her favorite. She cut you off before you could finish your sentence by sitting up to pull off her own shirt. There she sat before you in just her bra and sweatpants. Her eyes searched your face, and as much as you tried to look back at her you couldn’t help but stare at her body in admiration. Her body was lean and muscular, but still held femininity. You tore your gaze away to meet her eyes. You couldn’t speak, your mind not allowing you to form any words. “It’s okay, I’m okay.” she assured you, leaning forwards so she could kiss you. Her hand rested on the back of your neck to keep you close. Your hands hovered, not knowing where you could touch–so you decided to just rest them upon her shoulders. She chuckled against your lips. “I know you love looking, you can touch.” she offered, slowly pulling away so she could watch. You cleared your throat, now nervous. “Don’t be shy now,” Hyun Ju whispered, grabbing your wrists. “Sweet girl.” her voice was soft, laced with a teasing tone. Her hands tightened on your wrists and pulled them off her shoulders. At that moment you started to get over your nerves, realizing she was letting you do this. In fact, she took her shirt off. For you. She wanted this, with you. 

Your hands traced across her collarbones, playfully snapping one of the straps of her bra against her skin. Her breath hitched, eyes glued to your hands. Slowly, your hands drifted over her breasts. You didn’t try to take her bra off, if she wanted it you were sure she would’ve discarded it along with her shirt. Swallowing, you gently squeezed her breasts. A moan, though barely audible, escaped her lips. Your heartbeat pounded so hard in your chest you were sure she could hear it. Seeing her like this made you drool. What a beautiful woman, you thought. As your hands slowly moved down her stomach you felt her abdominal muscles, reminding you of how strong she was. The skin of her stomach was soft and supple. Hesitantly your fingertips traced the waistband of her sweatpants, but you stopped yourself. Don’t ruin this, you reminded yourself. So you swept your fingers back up, resting on her breasts again as you leaned in to kiss her. She needily kissed you back, hands wandering your body. They had pushed your shirt up enough to rest against your butt, kneading it briefly. As you two continued to kiss you felt her body relaxing more underneath yours which made you smile. She was comfortable with you. The movie on the television soon finished, and when the apartment became silent she slowly pulled away. She was panting underneath you. “Like what you see?” she teased, reaching up to swiped her thumb across your bottom lip. You nodded eagerly, which made her laugh. “Hyunnie, you’re beautiful.” you whispered. You brushed her hair out of her face, trying to fix it after destroying it earlier by threading your hands so desperately through it. “You’re beautiful too,” your name fell from her lips so effortlessly. Her voice smooth, still thick with desire.

You slumped against her, burying your face into her neck. She wrapped her arms around you and her muscles flexed. You felt yourself grow tired; you weren’t sure if it was because of last night, or because of your heated kissing with Hyun Ju. “Sleepy?” she asked you, and you just silently nodded. Hyun Ju reached around you to grab her shirt, briefly pushing you up so she could pull it over her head. You whined, but allowed her to do it anyway. Hyun Ju stood up with you in her arms, legs wrapped tightly around her waist. She carried you to bed, setting you down. “Don’t go!” your voice desparte, making you blush at how needy you were acting. “Sweet girl, I’m not leaving.” she crawled over you, tucking the both of you into bed. Her body snuggled up behind yours, pulling your back against her chest. As your breathing slowed you felt the feeling of sleep take over you, and you could’ve sworn you heard her whisper three words. I love you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。

✨a/n: i appreciate all the love i get from writing, y'all are really sweet. enjoy!!

[mawce-mirari]

I've always been afraid to even consider that I have a bipolar disorder partially bc I have seen how much it has ruined other people's lives and partially bc of my PTSD. But I genuinely think I am having a manic episode right now. I feel it so strongly, worse than in a while, and it's causing me to really panic too.

[averlym]

pleaaase may i have 28 and 29 aramour angst ✨ i crave it

28: “Move out of my way before I make you.” // 29: “You deserve better.” (prompt list here)

click for better quality!

[godsperfectprincess]

i need to do my homework but i have SUCH a bad migraine and i have no idea why. i ate i took my meds i drank water i slept in today genuinely what more could you want

[episbep]

rehab day twenty

last night one of my housemates came to my room with this “little bit of zen” stone stack that he made from stones at the local beach (what a sweetheart, he knows I’ve been struggling recently and I will keep this forever and ever)

started off the day with my new morning routine which I think set the tone for the day as I have been more positive, less stressed about things I can’t control and ready to tackle this addiction head on. I’m ready to really commit to making this change now and the euphoric recall/self-gaslighting is becoming much less frequent - if anything I am scared to use as I know where it has led and will inevitably lead again (jails, institutions or death as NA would say- absolute hopelessness and misery imo) had a meeting at the centre first thing then went to the beach! It was gorgeously sunny and I swam in the sea with my rehab buddies (almost all of us were there) then caught some rays on the sand - my little crush called me pretty while we were in the sea🥰 I went back to the house and had a video call dance party with my baby💖✨ then a Mindfulness Based Recovery Program online meeting in which I shared and multiple people said it was helpful to them - win☺️ did my gratitude list and goals for tomorrow, packed up some shells that I got from the beach to send home and wrote a little note to go with them before I made a falafel salad for dinner and watched the match (England lost but it was actually a good match to watch tho especially the second half) now having a bath then heading to bed, so I’m fresh and ready for what tomorrow brings…

[rafeandonlyrafe]

whatever you want

words: 1.5k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, ab riding, tit fucking, semi public sex, established relationship, cumming in mouth, mentions of future and past sex, lots of talk about rafes muscles, reader is kinda described as having big (or at least decent sized) breasts, lots of banter can these bitches just shut up and fuck oh my goddddd

“again.” you call, almost sounding drunk despite being completely sober.

rafe sighs, rolling his eyes, but the side of his lip quirks up, unable to hide how much he likes your fascination.

rafe flexes again, his arms bulging and pecs tightening. you reach out, smoothing your hands over the hard muscles.

“you're so strong.” you coo, sat on rafes lap despite the hot temperature of the day, which resulted in rafe pulling his shirt off.

"you're acting like you've never seen me shirtless before.” rafe says with a chuckle.

“shh, let me appreciate you.” you shake your head. sure, you've seen him shirtless plenty of times but rafe was bulking up for summer and it caused all his muscles to be deliciously defined.

“alright, whatever.” rafe flexes again, not going to argue too much when he has your hands obsessively touching every part of his body.

your hands move down to his stomach, fingers running over his abs. “if you let me ride your abs, i’d let you do whatever you want to me.”

“you-” rafe places his hands on his hips, sitting up straighter. “you want to ride my abs?”

“yeah.” you nod, quirking your head to the side. “you know, like rub my pussy against them.”

“shit, do it right now.” rafe looks down at your short shorts, barely covering more than your underwear does.

“yes!” you squeal out, hopping up and tugging your bottoms and panties off, not caring that you’re in the backyard and anyone could theoretically come by. “lay back.” you instruct.

rafe lays on the couch, smiling up at you as you climb on top of him. “you’ll have to flex for me as im doing this.” you inform rafe, placing your pussy on his abdomen. “especially your pecs.” you poke his chest.

“you’re such a slut for my body.” rafe chuckles, hands coming to your hips, pushing you further down, feeling your wetness as your thighs spread even more open.

“i can’t help that you’re so sexy.” you shrug, hips starting to move back and forth in a slow rock, carefully building up the pace, wanting to enjoy being sat on his stomach.

you lean forward, placing your hands on his chest for stability, pressing your clit further against his muscles. rafe flexes his muscles and they harden underneath you.

“rafe!” you squeal. 

“i guess you like that, huh?” rafes hands squeeze at your hips and lift up, placing you harder back down on his stomach. “oh, you like that too.” he smiles as he bounces you again and you moan out.

“i really like that.” you hum, eyes struggling to stay open with the pleasure, but you want to keep your eyes on rafe beneath you. its rare he lets you take over like this.

you moan as you both bounce, using your knees to go up and down while rafe assists so you don’t get burnt out. 

you pull your top off, revealing the bikini top you’re wearing underneath, ready to go swimming whenever you’re done playing with rafe, needing to get in the water on this sweltering day.

“jesus, your tits are perfect.” rafe smiles as he watches your chest bouncing, sitting up to rub his face in between your pushed together breasts, the bikini top holding them tight together.

“not as perfect as yours.” you giggle, hands squeezing at his chest, palms over his nipples.

“don’t call them tits.” rafe rolls his eyes as he lays back, head against the cushion.

“well, whatever you wanna call them, i fucking love your muscles. your pecs-” you squeeze your hands again, digging into his soft flesh until rafe flexes and they harden. “your biceps-” you move your hands, and rafe flexes again, his muscles bulging. “your abs.” this time you press your pussy down, rubbing against the contours and ridges.

“you’re lucky that you offered to let me do whatever i want to you otherwise i wouldn’t have agreed to this.” rafe smirks.

“oh yeah?” you raise an eyebrow. “what are you gonna do to me?” there’s truly nothing rafe could do to your body that wouldn’t bring you pleasure, you glow just under his attention alone.

“fuck your tits.” rafe smirks, eyes moving down from your face to your chest. “as soon as your done, right here for anyone to see.”

“damn, you could do anything and you don’t want to fuck my asshole or tie me up?” you laugh, expecting something more from rafe.

“you’d let me do all that whenever anyways.” rafe pushes your hips down, grinding you against him. you moan and lean forward, your hands coming back to rafes chest. 

“keep doing that.” you whimper, eyes sliding closed as your mouth drops open, moans filling the air and being carried away by the wind. 

rafe keeps moving, the veins in his forearm flexing as your wetness spreads over his abs, coating them in your slick, allowing your pussy to drag even easier.

“im-im close.” you warn, swallowing thickly.

rafe grunts and increases his hold, tightening his grip on your hips so you can’t slip loose, grinding you down as he flexes his abs, the hardness rubbing against your clit making you moan out, body falling forward as you cum hard, shaking as rafe lets up on you, hands loosening and moving to rub your back.

“fuck.” you whine, snuggling into his chest, letting your hips drop down, feeling rafes hardness pressing against your stomach.

rafe starts to move as you cry out, not ready to do anything more than close your eyes and feel his warmth against your cheek.

“come on, brat.” rafe chuckles. “i wanna fuck your tits while you’re all spaced out from your orgasm. you know i love you like this.” 

you hum a sound thats close enough to agreement that rafe flips you so you’re underneath him, laying on your back on the couch as he stands.

“you’re so gorgeous like this.” rafe says as he undoes his belt buckle, then pushing his pants and underwear down, his hard cock popping up.

“wanna taste.” you whine, eyes still droopy.

“nope.” rafe shakes his head. “we made a deal. i know you like to taste me, but im fucking your tits. take your top off.”

rafe pulls at the strings of your bikini, flinging it away to reveal your pink nipples to the sunlight.

“fine, but will you at least cum a little in my mouth?” you pout as rafe kneels on either side of you, glad that the outdoor couch is big enough for all of these activities.

“sure, baby.” rafe chuckles, just another way of showing how desperate you are for him.

rafes hands land on your tits, palms rubbing on your nipples, feeling them harden against his palms, not unlike when he was flexing his muscles for you earlier.

rafes hands move to the sides of your breasts, pushing them together. “god, you look so fuckable right now.”

“yeah? gonna fuck me later then? maybe out on the boat hm? after you’re done with my tits?”

“the boat, the bed, the counter, the shower, im gonna have you everywhere.” rafe bends down to press a kiss to the tip of your nose.

you smile up at him, a lazy, tired smile. rafe angles his hips down, the head of his cock pushing against the underside of your tits before slipping in between them.

“oh!” your eyebrows raise, surprised at the unusual feeling, but certainly not disliking it as he begins to move back and forth.

“shit.” rafe grunts. “fuck.”

you swat rafes hands away, pressing your tits together for him. rafe leans forward, hands landing on either side of your neck, his face contorted in pleasure directly over yours.

you look down, eyes watching the head of rafes cock appearing and disappearing between your breasts.

“this is- this is fucking good.” rafe grunts, moving faster. “im- im not gonna last very long.”

you stick your tongue out, rafes cock just long enough to hit it with the tip of his cock as he thrusts. you relish the taste, pulling your tongue back into your mouth every couple thrusts to spread the taste.

“thats it, baby.” rafe moans, one hand moving to your mouth, two fingers pulling at the side of your lip, spreading your mouth wider.

you moan out, tongue open and ready for his cum. rafe fucks forward as fast as he can, just like he does your pussy when you spread your legs wide for him.

“cumming.” rafe manages to say as he surges forward, burying his cock in your mouth as his hand wraps around his length, stroking up and down as he reaches his high, cum spurting into your mouth as you happily swallow.

rafe moans slowly die out and become quieter until hes pulling out of your mouth. “get up my legs are about to give out.” he says quickly, and you barely slide off the couch before he collapses.

you giggle and climb on top of him, pressing kisses to his cheek as his chest heaves up and down.

“im guessing you liked that.” you rub your thumb over his bottom lip.

“yeah.” rafe smiles, his eyes sliding shut.

“so, boat ride now?”

“jesus, woman give me a second.” rafe laughs, pulling you into a gentle kiss.

[g-k444]

Going to a party this Saturday. Push up bra, low waisted jeans w my thong's straps visible as they encompass the fat of my hips and show beneath my cropped v-neck

oh all the whorish things i could do

suck a dick in the next room, get fingered upstairs, even makeout in the same room as everyone else

but what are all the whorish things that everyone could do to me?

you know, when i cant find my phone and am struggling to walk from one side of the room to the other so that i can find it and call and uber and end this godforsaken party by going to bed...

everyone's begun trickling out and it's just the host and a couple of his mates who are staying the night, now, waving the last guy out and giving a girl her bag before her friend drives them home.

then the man helping me find my phone turns on my the minute the front door is locked.

"C'mon guys, get her upstairs"

I'm barely in control of my body - my force weakened as i struggle against the arms that hold either side of my body and strongly walk me to the stairs

but i cant make it up.

my body collapses into the stairs and a groan leaves my mouth. i want to leave; i dont want to go upstairs with these boys. i cant even make it up the stairs. my body is too weak from the alcohol of too many drinks to count over the course of the night.

"You aren't going to come up? We're being nice to you here trying to take you to a bed but you're gonna resist? fine, fuck you, you can take it on the stairs instead like the bitch you are."

there isn't a flat surface to lean my head back against, a man's hips hammering his cock into my mouth as my head limps rests against the edge of the stair, mouth loose and motionless, groaning around his cock lowly as he uses my orifices

i can feel and hear two others spitting on my pussy and dragging it over my folds and playing with my pussy for their entertainment. Pushing a flap left and right to toy with a pussy that wasn't being protected by a sober, private girl like i would normally be.

I could feel their spit dripping from over my pussy to my asshole, and before i knew it I could feel either hole being penetrated - my body manhandled into a better position whilst no no nononoNO'S- left my mouth at the thickness of the cock that began moving mercilessly in my tight hole, balls slapping against my skin as if bruising my self-worth

"God, you gotta see her tits swinging when you fuck her - lemme take a vid to remember - that's gotta be the most shamelessly whorey pair i've ever seen..."

I tried to cover my face with a face, but the hand beneath me gave out instead, and so my body collapsed into the stairs beneath my body. The man holding the camera courteously picked me up and held my up by a shoulder so that my tits still swung for the camera in front.

"Sent to the groupchat, they're replying... Yep, they appreciate the view just as much."

Another cry left my mouth and I felt something tap against my cheek to shut me up. Someone yielded their hard cock in their hand, and appeared to have slapped it against my face to shut me up. I tried to open my mouth to let them just put it in - my drunken brain not working for itself as it urged me to let the man get his release in my mouth

but instead, he continued to keep rubbing his shaft over my face - letting the tip rub against the socket of my eye and the length press into my cheek, letting it movie over either of my wet lips

"Oh the boys in the groupchat really like it. They say they're comin' over in 5 to get some themselves. Hope you're ready for a good long night tonight bitch, because you aren't gonna be able to walk out the door tomorrow morning. Oh no, we're gonna fuck you dumb tonight, then use your broken-bitch body to get us off tomorrow morning, too."

[brattyspence]

sober thoughts | s.reid

summary: pining!reader makes a drunk call to spencer after going out with friends, and is aggressively trying to flirt with him. 

tags: reader is DRUNK! alcohol!! dont read if thats not okay!!, fluffy as fuck, spencer is the most gentle of gentlemen, pining!reader, reader wears makeup/dress/heels, spencer is lowkey bad at flirting but he shows affection in weird ways, one use of Y/N (sorry i know)

a/n: this has been bouncing around in my head for a while. sigh.

word count: 1.9k

masterlist

He was used to seeing you tipsy, if that was even the right word for it. 

You were friends, after all. Best friends, even. And the fact that he lived only a few doors down from the pub the team frequented made it stupid not to offer his couch to you after going out with the team. 

You weren’t a heavy drinker by any stretch of the imagination. Every now and then on a Friday night, you’d head out with the team and have one, maybe two drinks if you were feeling particularly adventurous–but you still didn’t want to drive home, especially when he was offering his home to you. Truthfully, you just liked getting to hang out with him. You liked getting to exist in his orbit and discuss a random topic late into the night. It had become normal for you, an excuse to do something together that didn’t revolve around work. 

What was not normal was the fact that it was a Saturday at 11 PM and you were really drunk, calling him. 

Your contact photo filled his screen, illuminating the dark room. You weren’t one to call, preferring the convenience of a text. Especially this late, which worried him a bit. He picked up quickly, tucking the phone to his ear.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Hey, Spencer?” It wasn’t your voice. “This is Molly, Y/N’s friend. I’m sorry to call so late. We’re out with some friends from college celebrating someone’s birthday, and she got… like, drunk drunk, kinda sloppy… and she’s been blabbing about you for a while. She wanted me to call you.”

“Oh,” he sighs. He runs a hand through his hair, preparing himself. “Can you put her on?”

“Yeah. Not sure you’ll get anything out of her, though. Here…”

He can hear the general chatter and chaos of the bar over the call. There’s some rustling sounds before you finally take the phone.

“Hi,” you say, your voice dripping with a certain kind of fondness. He can hear the smile through the screen. 

“Hey,” he replies. ”You having fun?”

“Oh, Spencer, I was… I haven’t heard your voice in so long. What’re you…” you trail off, lifting the phone from your ear to answer someone else. “Sorry. ‘S so loud in here.

He chuckles to himself. “I saw you yesterday.”

“Yeah, ‘nd that was… Oh, I can’t do math right now. A long time ago.”

“Are you okay?”

On the other side of town, you were sitting in a barstool, swiping your finger along the beads of condensation rolling down the glass of water in front of you. 

“Mhm. ‘M good. Fine. Drunk.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” he smiles. “Are you gonna be able to get home?”

“Uhh…” you pause. “I was gonna Uber… but then I thought that maybe… if you weren't busy… we could hang out…” 

He could vaguely make out dialog on the other end of the phone. Some kind of “Girl, this sounds really pathetic,” followed by a “Shhhh!” in two other drunken voices.

“But I could also make Molly order me an Uber,” you added. “‘S okay. Nevermind.”

“No, you're not getting in an Uber inebriated. That’s ridiculous.”

“‘M not inebriated.”

A background voice comes back. “Yeah, you are.”

Spencer sighs into the phone. “Just… send me your location, please? I’ll come get you.”

“O-kay. ‘M sending it right now, jus’ tell me when you-”

The call went dead before you could finish your thought, which he chalked up to some kind of drunken user error. A few seconds later a text came through 

You: dropped a pin

You: its molly again. let me know if you got this

He responded, relieved that you had someone looking after you, before getting ready and grabbing his keys. 

-

You were sitting on a bench outside the bar. The air was cool and crisp, but you were warm, your skin clammy from the alcohol. You had been mumbling something incoherent about Spencer, he’s just so good to me, Molly, and oh, god, I don’t know what to do with myself, and…

Molly, who had been trying to sober you up (unsuccessfully), was standing in front of you, arms crossed, listening to your incessant rambling.

“...’nd sometimes he talks to me, ‘nd I have no idea what he’s talking about but he’s so hot when he’s smart. You should hear, it, Mol’.”

Cars pass on the street behind you, filling the silence momentarily. Molly looks over her shoulder, scanning the street before turning back to you. “Alright. Be quiet. He’s here” 

“Don’t care.”

She puts her hand out to help you up, which you accept rising to your feet. You’re surprised by how unsteady you feel, but you focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

“I’ll make fun of you for this tomorrow,” she says. 

You only have a few seconds to grumble in protest before Spencer reaches you. He scans you quickly, chuckling to himself.

“You are a mess,” he says, amused. 

You feel slightly infantilized watching Molly hand over all your personal effects to him. You weren’t even sure when you’d put down your wallet and keys, much less where, but you’re thankful she picked them up and not someone else.

“Good luck,” She tells him. She pats your arm before turning back to the bar, leaving you alone on the street with him. 

“You okay?” He asks. You watch him shuck off his jacket, which he helps you slide over your arms.

“‘M fine,” you reply. “Warm.”

“Because you’re drunk.” He keeps his eyes trained on the zipper of the jacket, or really anywhere that isn't you in that dress. “Alcohol is a vasodilator. So you feel warm. But it's forty degrees outside, and hypothermia doesn't care.”

You pout at him, watching as he pulls the zipper tab up enough to shield you from the cold. Only then does he really look at you. 

“I wanted you to see my pretty dress,” you pout. Your words come out slurred still. 

You meet his eyes for a split second. He opens his mouth, seemingly about to reply, but quickly decides against it. He shakes his head as if to clear the thought.

“Come on. We gotta get you home.” 

“You don't like it?” 

“I didn't say that.” He tucks a hand under your arm as you begin back down the street, keeping you steady. 

“So you do like it?” You look over at him, your face more excited than he was expecting. 

“It’s very pretty,” he replies.

Your shoulder bumps his as you walk, seemingly unable to maintain a straight path along the sidewalk. The click of your heels against the pavement is uneven, despite your efforts to maintain some kind of composure, and unfortunately for you, he’s right, and it's freezing outside. You make steady progress down the block, placing all your focus on not falling flat on your face. Thankfully, he doesn't live all that far.

“D’you think I look pretty, too?” You ask, approaching the steps to his apartment.

“What are you trying to do?” he asks, looking down at you. He takes in the slight flush of your cheeks as the effects of the alcohol battle the chill in the air.

“I’m trying to flirt with you. And you didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh, you're going to be difficult all night, aren't you?” He sighs, ignoring the question. He pauses outside the door, keys in hand, and unlocks the door before guiding you inside. 

“You don't ever want to flirt with me.”

The door falls shut behind you with a clunk. The room is dark, with only the distant light from a lamp somewhere across the room illuminating it. You squint when he turns on the big light.

“That’s not true,” he says, quietly. If you weren’t hanging on to his every word, you might have missed it. He carefully unzips the jacket, tugging it off your shoulders and setting it on the table.

“So why won’t you flirt with me right now?” 

“Because you’re drunk,” He guides you towards the couch, his touch still careful as ever. 

You flop down onto the cushions. The leather sticks to your legs as you sit. Being the gentleman he is, he has already left pajamas out, his pajamas, you’d since claimed as your own, with the blanket you steal every time you stay over. 

“So what?” You begin working at the clasp on your heels, fumbling with the leather straps to no avail. 

“So, you’re drunk.” He repeats, reappearing in front of you. He sits on the edge of the coffee table in front of you, and hands you a pack of makeup wipes. “Do you need help with your shoes?” 

You nod. A soft breath of laughter escapes him as he leans in to help you take them off, setting them on the carpeted floor. 

“Spence,” you look at the pack of wipes. “Why do you have these?”

“Because every time you’re here you forget them,” he replies. 

“Oh.” You rip them open. “You don’t have a secret girlfriend?”

“No,” he replies, lowering your foot back to the ground. 

“You don't let other drunk girls sleep over?” You paw at your eyeliner, effectively smearing it around more than removing it. 

“I don't let anyone sleep over,” he says, taking the wipe from you. “Just you. Close your eyes.”

“Because you love me?” 

His fingers find the underside of your chin, gently tilting your face towards his so he can finish swiping away the last of your eyeliner. Maybe you’re blushing as a result of the alcohol warming your bloodstream, but the more likely answer is him, at this proximity. 

As soon as he’s done wiping your eyes, you open them again to look up at him. 

“You’re bold when you’re drunk,” he says, smiling. He sets the used wipe down on the table.

“Mhm. You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m not going to,” He says. “Sorry. Go get changed.”

“That wasn’t a ‘no’,” you say. You collect the clothes off the couch and slink across the apartment into the bathroom to change. You don’t bother shutting the bathroom door before slinking off the dress you were wearing and sliding on the pajamas he’d left for you. Once you finish, you collect your dress off the floor and make your way back towards the couch, settling right into the cushions as you frequently did on nights like this. 

You were formulating another complaint about his lack of reciprocation, but your thoughts were interrupted as he pulled the blanket on his couch over you. Your blanket, or at least one you’d claimed as your own during one of your nights spent here. He had already turned off the ceiling fan, which you’d always insisted off when you slept over. You followed him with your gaze as he turned the lights off, swapping them instead for a smaller, softer light somewhere in the kitchen, remembering the way you’d always insisted he leave a light on somewhere, just for you. Your phone was already charging on a side table, your heels sitting nicely by the door, your keys on his key holder, evidence of you, everywhere, details that were distinctly for your comfort. Maybe you had missed his signals. 

“I think you do love me…” 

He reappeared a moment later, crouching in front of you with that look. He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Go to sleep.”

“And I love you. And I called you because I wanted to tell you that.” 

“You really need to sleep it off. You’re saying things you don’t mean.”

“But I do mean it,” you whined. “I swear. Ask me again tomorrow.”

“You won’t remember this tomorrow,” he laughed. 

“But I will. I promise,” you replied. “No bedtime kiss?”

Of course, this time you did pick up the way he looked at you. 

“No, honey. Maybe tomorrow.”

[cordidy]

Just needed to get this out of my head after Sylus's Myth so i hope you like it :)

TW : drunk MC, fluff, it's sad I guess ? No proof read cause i'm a savage, english is not my mother tongue

“......tail ?” 

“What did you just say kitten ?” Sylus asked, gently patting the back on your thigh while steadying you on his shoulder as you exited the elevator together, .

At first he had been quite surprised to receive your call.

Even more so when you bluntly asked him if he would be ok playing bodyguard and keep an eye on you while you indulged in a night of carefree debauchery at the club but hey, who was he to judge ? 

Besides, if you felt safe enough to be in such a vulnerable state around him, going as far as trusting him with your safety and your apartment key to make sure you would make it back safe and sound, he was not going to complain.

“I….I said…ooooh that spins…do…do you ever miss your tail ?” you repeated, your voice tired and slurred, words barely comprehensive despite your best effort.

Sylus couldn’t help the chuckle that came as you poked his lower back through his jacket.

You really were wasted…

But you had a good reason !

Your week has been shitty as hell.

Your nights were even worse lately, barely getting a couple hours of sleep only to wake up either with a sore throat, screaming or crying at something you could not recall.

And, on top of that, you were off duty as Zayne decided you needed a break and refused to sign your abilitation.

“Come on Zayne, look, I’m fiiiiiiiiine” you tried to convince him with a huge smile and so much concealer on your face you could open your own makeup shop.

“As your physician I cannot let you go on field with such results” he retorted not even looking away from your chart “You should be dead with such a high blood pressure”

“I’m a tough cookie !”

“And you’re going to have to stay in the jar until these get better. You’re not only a danger for yourself right now but also for your partner”

That was a low blow but he had a point.

Clearly, you needed a break, something to unplug your brain, something fun, a good night out to leave all your problems behind and get shitfaced to oblivion. What you did not need though was the unwanted attention a young woman alone at the club would probably get and, while you were very capable of handling those kinds of situations, you did not really want to have to be on the lookout constantly or end up in a cell for assault.

You tried Tara, back to her family for the Holidays.

Simone ? Night shift.

Xavier….doing God knew what God knew where….

So, with a heavy heart you picked up your phone and called your secret weapon…

“Not necessary,” Sylus finally answered in a calm, composed voice, as he opened your apartment door, being extra careful as to not bump you in the doorframe. Based on the current humming coming from you right now and your kicking feet, your head was already going to kill you tomorrow.

Better not add “commotion” to the list of your impending issues.

“To be honest, being half human half cat was quite annoying” he admitted, walking you toward your bedroom to tuck you into bed. “I don’t like not being in control of myself and beside, it was bad for business to be away from the N109 zone for so long...although…I kind of enjoyed having to hide here and spend time with you…” he added with his signature smirk, poking your side before tossing you onto the bed, making you giggle like an idiot as you plopped on your back. It was the first time you allowed him into your room and, although he did plan on being a gentleman despite what you could think of him when sober, he couldn’t help the loving smile on his face as he watched you mumble something about a potato bag while fighting with your plushies for room.

“I miss you tail” you retorted in your drunk voice, closing your eyes in hopes it would help with the dizziness while Sylus started to remove your shoes and socks.

“I quite remember you telling me how insufferable it was” the man said in a collected tone while making his way to the kitchen once he was done. 

“Yeah but it was sooooo pretty…I miss how you used it to grab me with it and…and toss me around ! That was funny !” you laughed, mimicking being tossed around like a ragdoll in the middle of your plushies as Sylus was coming back in your room, a glass of water in his hand.

He stopped in his tracks, a puzzled look on his face.

“I never use my cat tail to...toss you around” he corrected. His Evol, yeah, on a daily basis at some point actually, just to annoy you and enjoy those little lovely sounds coming from your mouth, threats mostly.

He had not been able to use it at all during the time those damn kittens from Hell had turned him into one of them though.

Your foggy brain did not hear him though and just kept mumbling in your drunken state, propping yourself on your elbows, trying to focus your gaze on him.

“You would think scales are cold and harsh…” you started, raising a finger to look all serious before falling back onto your pillow, not registering the look of surprise on his usually steady face.

“Kitten wh…” his voice was faltering as he looked at you getting all comfy like you had not just shaken his world upside down with your words.

“...but it was sooooo soft and sooooo warm…” you continued, grabbing your pillow to hold on tight as if you were looking for said warmth. 

Your voice was starting to fade as sleep was settling in.

“...felt safe when you wrapped it around me…I kept holding mine to sleep after…but…”

The glass in his hand fell to the ground, shattering as he froze in place, eyes wide open in shock. 

“…it was not…not the same…” you mumbled before losing consciousness, your body going limp against your pillow, before starting to snore.

______________________________________________________________ Pssssst, you liked it ? P2 is already up here :) https://www.tumblr.com/cordidy/770227784125677568/a-few-days-ago-i-wrote-this?source=share

[alittlegiraffe]

Title: Worthy

Marshall had asked for space.

After getting sober, after finally pulling himself out of the haze he had been living in for too long, he told you he needed time—to figure himself out, to prove to himself that he could be the man you and the girls deserved.

You hadn’t fought him on it. Not because you wanted to be apart, but because you understood. You loved him too much to stand in the way of his healing.

So, instead of leaving completely, he just moved down the hall. You told the girls it was just so he could focus, and they accepted it without question. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked.

Until now.

Marshall had seen you getting ready to go out. He hadn’t meant to—he had just walked past your bedroom, but the door was cracked open just enough for him to see you standing in front of the mirror, fixing your hair, wearing that dress he knew wasn’t for a casual night out.

And suddenly, the air in his lungs felt too thin.

He hadn’t thought about this part. Hadn’t thought about what it would feel like to watch you move on while he was still trying to put himself back together.

So he withdrew. He got quiet, distant, spending more time in the studio, giving you even more space. He figured if he ignored it, the feeling would pass.

But the girls noticed.

“Mom, did you and Dad have a fight?” Hailie asked one night at dinner, her brow furrowed as she pushed her food around her plate.

You blinked. “What? No, of course not.”

“Well, he’s acting weird,” Alaina chimed in. “Like, extra weird.”

You sighed. Dammit, Marshall.

That night, you knocked on his door. He didn’t answer, but you knew he was in there, so you pushed it open anyway.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it had personally offended him.

You crossed your arms. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Marshall exhaled sharply through his nose. “Nothin’.”

“Bullshit.”

His jaw clenched. He didn’t speak.

You sighed, stepping closer. “The girls noticed. They think we fought.”

That made him flinch, just a little.

You softened, crouching down in front of him. “Marshall. Talk to me.”

He swallowed hard, then finally, finally looked at you. “I saw you.”

You frowned. “Saw me what?”

“Getting ready,” he muttered, his voice tight. “For your… date.”

Your lips parted slightly. “Marshall—”

“I know,” he cut in quickly, shaking his head. “I know. I wanted this, right? I said I needed space, that I had to fix myself before I could fix us.” He let out a humorless laugh, rubbing a hand over his face. “I just… I didn’t think about what it’d feel like to see you movin’ on.”

You let out a slow breath. “So what? You get to be upset about it now? You asked for this, Marshall.”

His eyes flicked up to yours, something raw and desperate in them. “No. I didn’t ask to lose you,” he murmured. “I just… I needed to know I was a better man. Worthy of you.”

Your chest tightened, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice.

You reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his. “Marshall,” you whispered. “You were always worthy of me.”

His grip tightened around yours like he was afraid to let go.

And just like that, the space between you didn’t seem so wide anymore.

The silence between you stretched, heavy with everything left unsaid. Your fingers were still wrapped around his, grounding him, reminding him that you were here. That maybe—just maybe—you hadn’t given up on him yet.

Marshall swallowed hard, his free hand running over his face. “I don’t even know what I’m doin’ anymore,” he admitted, his voice hoarse. “I thought I was doin’ the right thing. Thought if I stepped back, got my shit together, I’d come out of it a better man. But all I did was push you away.”

You exhaled, squeezing his hand gently. “I get why you needed space, Marshall. I really do. But you never stopped to ask if I needed you too.”

His head snapped up, blue eyes locking onto yours. Shit. He hadn’t thought about it like that. He had been so focused on fixing himself, on proving something to himself, that he never once considered how it felt for you to be left in limbo, waiting for him to decide when—if—he was ready.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he murmured.

You gave him a sad smile. “I know.”

Another beat of silence.

Marshall cleared his throat, shifting slightly. “Was it a date?” he asked hesitantly.

You arched a brow. “Seriously?”

He shrugged. “Just… need to know.”

You sighed. “No. It wasn’t. It was just dinner with a friend.”

Relief flickered over his face so fast you almost missed it. “Oh.”

You tilted your head at him, something teasing in your tone. “Would it have mattered if it was?”

His jaw tensed. “Yeah,” he admitted, voice low. “It would’ve.”

Your heart ached at the honesty in his words, at the way he looked at you—like he was so close to breaking but too damn stubborn to let himself.

You shifted, sitting beside him on the bed, your knee brushing against his. “So what now?” you asked softly.

Marshall exhaled slowly, staring at the floor. “I don’t know. But I know I don’t wanna do this anymore. Don’t wanna be down the hall, watchin’ you from a distance like we’re strangers.” He finally turned his head, meeting your gaze. “I wanna come home. If you’ll have me.”

Your breath caught.

For months, you had been waiting. Waiting for him to figure it out, waiting for him to decide if he still wanted this. Wanted you. And now, here he was—finally here.

You reached out, cupping his cheek, brushing your thumb over the faint stubble there. He leaned into your touch, his eyes slipping shut like he had been starving for it.

“I never wanted you to leave in the first place,” you whispered.

Marshall’s eyes fluttered open, searching yours. “I don’t deserve you.”

You huffed out a soft laugh. “That’s not your decision to make.”

A slow, hesitant smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “No?”

“No,” you murmured, leaning in, resting your forehead against his. “You already promised me forever, Marshall. Now, you just have to keep it.”

His breath hitched, and before you could say anything else, his lips were on yours—desperate, aching, like he was trying to make up for every second he had wasted.

And maybe, just maybe, you were finally finding your way back to each other.