#i have been struggling with money very badly for so long

[luxoraeterna]

🌞

[prickly-paprikash]

Kendrick doesn't just hate Drake as a person. He hates the very idea of Drake.

Hip-Hop is rooted in revolution. In defiance. These are the songs of an oppressed group of people, and decades upon decades people have hated it. Accused of being meaningless and invalid. Media outlets took steps to belittle hip-hop and make sure it isn't recognized as an art form and as a means to fight back.

2Pac spoke of wealth disparity and inequality. Tupac was literally a member of a communist organization when he was younger and never stopped speaking against capitalism.

Lauryn Hill spoke of the struggles a woman faces. Not just women, but black women. Salt-N-Peppa. Queen Latifah. MISSY FUCKING ELLIOT.

N.W.A made sure people knew about police brutality and violence against the Black community.

And now, in this day and age, we're also experiencing an explosion of Queer Hip-Hop. Lil Nas X is at the forefront of this. Lil Uzi Vert came out as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, even when they knew that a lot of their fans would never use it or even respect them for it. Auntie Diaries, a song about a young man who grew up in a transphobic environment and bought into those beliefs, but could never fully do it because his Uncle loved him so much and taught him a lot of life lessons, and that wisdom translated to him accepting his cousin as a woman as well.

Drake is none of that.

He's the perfect representation of what people think hip-hop is. Flexing. Posturing. Objectifying women. A fucker so insecure he bought 2Pac's ring just to feel like he's part of the black community. Rejected by Rihanna publicly. Tried to groom Millie Bobby Brown. Kissed and inappropriately touched an underage girl during his concert. His songs have inspired so many young boys to treat girls like shit. His belief that the amount of rings and chains and cars he has is the true meaning of success.

Additional Edit: This is my fault. If this post gains more views, then it would be remiss of me not to add to this. It was my fault to begin with, not stating this beforehand because while I did know, I got lost in celebrating Hip-Hop in a place that doesn't usually do so, and rightfully so.

2Pac did fight for wealth equality and better social living for the black community. He also has a long, long history of battery, domestic abuse, and sexual harassment against women. Specifically against women of color. He made a song to celebrate his own mother, but outright refused to give the same show of respect to other women in his life. His hypocritical nature was brushed off in later decades, just the way I did now.

N.W.A is the same. Sexual assault charges, violence—they spoke of Police reform, but refuses to give the same treatment back towards the women in their lives.

50 cent refuses to backtrack on any of his misogynistic lyrics.

Modern rappers of today, such as the dead XXXtentacion. 6ix9ine. Kodak Black.

I do love Hip-Hop. I love rap. And the music itself has always been anti-authoritarian at its core, because those are its roots. And I was happy that circles that did not normally know of it or enjoy it were getting into it, even for one thing like this rap feud.

Lil Nas X, Little Simz, Childish Gambino, Missy Elliot, Queen Latifah, Lauryn Hill—rappers who have at the very least consistently tried to put their money where their mouth is. Who have tried to act in accordance to what they rap and write and sing for.

@shehungthemoon @ohsugarsims finnthehumanmp3 were the ones who rightfully clarified in the comments. I know an apology won't correct my hypocrisy or my stupidity. I should have added all of this before making this post, but I wanted so badly to celebrate a genre of music but failed to do my due diligence in showing a better, holistic view of it. If anyone felt triggered, offended, troubled, frustrated or any other intense negative emotions surrounding this, please do block me. I'm sorry.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Getting hot under the collar and in the kitchen and on the pool table and...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 3-4 of 12 - one of the things I'm enjoying about this show is the fact that the introverted super shy uke is having hot fantasies, and the extroverted seme is having the sweet fantasies. It's another way this show is highlighting God being the world's greenest flagged seme BL has ever produced. (And he's being given stiff competition this year - trend alert.)

Anygay: God is so cute and so not cool and so in love and all the consent asking word salad coming out of this boy. I LOVE him. 

Diew: It’s ep 4 so I’ve decided we can talk face-to-face.  God: So how many children do you want? 

The teaching him to play basketball bit, where God politely asks to hold his hand, is so freaking adorable I can’t.

I'm thinking of calling this show the anti-Mame pill.

Blue pill? Red pill? GREEN pill!

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - We gotta talk. I do like this version, but it’s starting to feel lackluster. Perhaps it always was by comparison to the bright sparkle uniqueness of the original. Perhaps I didn't notice because I was distracted by G4. But now I gotta say it's become a bit disappointing and even my love for G4 can’t seem to bind me to this. Frankly, this show is making me want to watch either the Japanese version, or My School President. It’s never a good sign when a currently airing BL makes me want to stop that and go rewatch an old one I’ve already seen.

NO SINGING.

Meanwhile, the "locked on the rooftop" trope! I haven’t seen that one in years. Cool. Also cute kisses. They learning. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - I can’t believe this is ending next week. But also I can. And I have thoughts.

I really love SailubPon. They might be one of my favorite newer pairs on the scene right now. But I just don’t believe in these characters or this couple. I don’t feel like they are going to have a lasting relationship. It feels like they’re just using each other for sex and distraction, and that’s how the script to set it up, and as a result they’re never gonna make it as a couple. As soon as the sexual fire between them burns out, what do they have to build a relationship on? Frankly? That would be fine if this were a modern love drama, and not a BL. But this IS a BL.

Putting the health code violators aside, I really do believe in the secondary pair, but they haven’t been given enough bandwidth to develop as a couple. There’s no way they’re going to adequately resolve Methas and JJ in the final episode.

At this juncture, I’m mostly finding this show annoying. Which in itself is annoying, because I wanted to love it.

Why is it that Thailand, the land of the best food in the world, king of BLs, struggles so hard to produce the restaurant set BL of my dreams? I’m really pissed about this.

That said, the Methas & JJ stuff is killer. Loved JJ running away. So good. Plus the age old decision - love or money? 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2-3 of 12 - The issue was me and I've managed to get hold of this show again. The story within the story is so ridiculously badly written I'm going spare. I’m not sure if the outside show is not ALSO badly written. That said, I do love how the 3 writer friends are all shipping our leads. It’s VERY silly. Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go. 

I like the side couple too. Stern Daddy + lost puppy is a very cute dynamic, I hope we get more than just crumbs. I actually am enjoying this show now. Ep 3 kinda derailed into this weird chimera novel that they’re all writing together and I’m finding that bit the least interesting, but I adore the domestic components which I think may turn out to be TutorYim's strength (if they're allowed to lean into it). 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Man I hope this gets some kind of distribution at some point. It was a pain to find and watch. But I enjoyed it. The focus is more on the seme in Thailand’s version. Which I don’t mind since that's rare in BL, and it’s more August on my screen. It’s all round softer than China’s version but still feels very familiar. I know some fans are struggling with it, but not me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I like that Sam’s crafty business espionage has paid off. Them teasing Sam & Yo really had me belly laughing. It was so funny.

Legitimate question. Would one put perfume on one’s cheeks in Thailand, as one does on wrist or sternum? Because of the sniff cheek thing? Scented face powders?

I do feel like with MosBank & SailubPon scorching up our screens, we’re being spoiled by some of Thailand‘s best high heat pairs at the moment.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It remains kind of sweet and cute. It's also calm and slow moving. Oddly it reminds me of La Cuisine in its style and execution (if not content). I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I don’t know. I’m getting bored.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 10fin - Fort’s acting during the break-up was truly great. But I feel for Rak. It’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Ultimately this is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and I'm mad I was so bored throughout. So it gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it. Trash watch.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 1-2 of 10 - OMG a uni student who looks young and a... COP! GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. I had to go grey to get it and I hate everything about what I had to do. But ya know what? Fucking worth every single repeated crash-causing advertisement.

I love it. The grumpy lonely little student cook and the cheerful mature police officer. What a fabulous dynamic. Is the cook looking for a boyfriend or a Daddy, and do we care if it has the same result? It is filmed VERY manga style camp. I’m a little nervous about that, but this means it’s also very fluffy and so damn sweet. It made me squeak with the cute. I’m gutted this didn’t get distribution.

Ironic that Tawada Hideya is in a new BL while Sunspot is re-airing.

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ah, the gays are doubting the bisexual again. How familiar. I like how this one is paced and moving through time, even if the relationship seems to be going comparatively slowly by contrast. I love the way Sahashi is always looking at Natsume, even when they’re in conversation with someone else. Ah yearning. I think the conflict was kind of inevitable, given the two personalities of the protagonists, and I like that. (No manufactured angst here.) But I still hope they can repair the breach and I’m still interested. Frankly this is so classically Japan - I don’t know what story beats it’s following and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going, but I kinda like that unpredictability. Makes me think it could go into "must you, Japan?" territory but fingers crossed.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - I'm enjoying it very much. I could do without the girl character. I know she’s more interesting than most (this is Japan after all), but she’s not really for me. It’s the complexity of the connection between the leads (and why they like each other) that’s being executed so brilliantly in this show (and in the manga, FYI). Both actors are so on point with their roles and the nuanced emotions required of these characters that every time it’s only them interacting I'm riveted. I could do without the rest of the cast tho.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 1 of 8 - I have a confession to make, I’ve been watching this whole series as it goes along. But this is the pair I absolutely like the most. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend any of the installments, and I’m not sure how this one is going to go, but I’m VERY invested in this particular couple. They are so pretty!!!! This is a true friends-to-lovers struggle. I like that a lot. (Reminds me of I Cannot Reach You but a different dynamic.) Did I mention how pretty they are? And we already know they gonna kiss well. I bet the uncut version is stellar.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - It's no one's funeral, turns out! Reports are in - not only are there kisses but it ends happily with wedding plans. So I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. I'm enjoying it. Ya'll know I adored Chinese BL before censorship. It has a certain unhinged quality I very much apreciate (and is the reason I'm so tolerant of the Thai pulps) that I think will marry well with Wuxia's effervescent and ever-present tropes. Watch me suffer here.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan starring Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn team. With their powers combined they are...

fine.

This is a fine BL. The fight scene was fun and I like the meet cute. I’m not sure about the chemistry of the leads, but I think they’ll probably do okay. I admit I’m struggling a bit with a singing and the music. Are you surprised? I think I like it enough, but I’m not wowed.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Oh! Out of the blue attack kiss. What IS this show? I don’t get it at all. Bah. I guess they’re dating now. It’s… so odd...

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Again delayed? Not sure what's going on with this one but the continued push-backs do not bode well.

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I truly belly laughed. Sam & Yo did not go in the direction I expected, but this scene alone made me not mind that they curtailed the suffering Sam was rightfully due. (SunsetXVibes)

Tall boyfriend armpit, anyone? (Monster Next Door)

The two extremes of BL in one show (Long Beans indeed).

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[formulatrash]

from following you on twitter im absolutely certain you have (far more informed than mine) thoughts on whatever the fuck williams is doing. very interested in hearing them, if you’d care to share?

so like, from the off: I have always been a Logan Sargeant defender. people who didn't follow his junior career just saw an American, assumed he was a pay driver and didn't check any further. the guy had a better karting career than Oscar, was competitive with him the whole time they were in the same series - they were the George and Alex of their day.

sometimes those drivers fall off. Jack Aitken was, in fact, George's main rival up to F2 and then got mechachromed (or technically hewlanded) out of the running for more than a guest spot. but Logan didn't - he just ran out of money. that year in a Charouz (a backmarking F3 team struggling to score points) was when he really proved himself, especially on being solid at development and leading a team.

that was what convinced Carlin (at the time, not putting in the best showing in F2) he was worth it. and his time at Carlin was what convinced Williams. not money. Logan never had sponsors pulling the strings for him. he knew he might well not get to F1 so had already started experimenting with prototype racing, which he was good in. man was being pragmatic about how to have a career in Europe if things didn't all shake out right.

but they did (sort of) and he got the Williams seat. he was probably one of the least-prepared drivers for quite a long time, with close to zero F1 testing prior to, err, F1 preseason testing. the Williams driver academy, at the time he was in it, amounted to pretty much a gym membership. a pass for the factory canteen and some branded sweaters to wear rather than some structured programme and he'd only had one year in F2.

we know the Williams is not like, the best car. the team has had Some Issues and despite the investment from Dorilton, is still rebuilding pretty heavily. I mean remember it was (in 2023) five seasons previous that they turned up to testing like whoops, no car. our bad.

then in 2022 they had Jost Capito and FX Demaison living in a weird student flatshare while they tried to work out what the hell was going on in the team, only to both leave prior to 2023. at which point James Vowles turns up and goes my god you're running this whole team via a spreadsheet. truly, we (a team whose history includes the owner's wife, who was actually the owner, locking up the factory and telling the bailiffs to fuck off every other week for years) were so fucking back.

(if you want to read a really, really, really good book about F1 then Williams: A different kind of life is exceptional)

so yeah it's a bit of a Charouz of a seat but then Logan's flourished in that circumstance before. except you're going up against a guy whose only second-fiddle circumstance was against Max fucking Verstappen. you're an underprepared rookie and you're against someone who did at times hold his own against Max Verstappen, even as an underprepared rookie himself and he's been in the team for a year already, leading all the direction and development. fucking yikes. that's not a low-pressure seat where you're both just hoping things might work out.

saying all that because: I think Logan was given an incredibly tough gig. that doesn't mean he shouldn't or couldn't have risen to it. but that Williams seat wasn't an easy ride in his first year, where he showed he could improve when he gained momentum and confidence, something that's massively important. when things turn against you and keep turning against you, it's incredibly hard to reverse that in motorsport - just look at Daniel Ricciardo at McLaren.

and yes I know there's a lot of mad conspiracy theories that for some reason the team would want to lose points in the constructors' for the express reason of humiliating a driver they were paying an obscene amount but please let's be realistic: McL really badly wanted that one to work out. and Williams seemed to, too, in Logan's first year. they weren't babying him and he had clear targets and goals but there was a desire to see that work out for both of them.

this year that, uh. hasn't seemed to be there. I know, I absolutely know, why James Vowles felt taking Logan's car and giving it to Alex in Australia was the right thing to do. Alex had scored a point there the previous year, although it's historically not been a great track for him. that point could be the difference between 9th and 10th in the constructors - millions of dollars.

but if you want to absolutely implode your driver's brain and publicly announce you have no confidence in him then that's certainly a good way to go about it. and the thing is Australia is one race whereas Logan was supposed to be in that car for the rest of the season.

it's hard to underestimate just how much F1 teams are swayed by the media. Nyck de Vries is an incredible recent example: yes, he scored points in that Williams weekend but in the same year he was driving like absolute shit in Formula E. probably because he was so focussed on F1 but any FE journalist could have told you the guy was not, in fact, the second coming of Senna - extremely likeable, weird, idiosyncratic and actually fun to watch but far from performing at his own best let alone anyone else's.

so when he was hyped to high heaven as about to wipe the floor with Yuki there was widespread eyebrow-raising from a paddock no one in F1 cares to look at. but teams bought into it, fought over him. in a matter of races the media turned on him, shredded him and Red Bull shrugged, said they never liked him in the first place and binned him off after, realistically, exactly the performances you could have expected him to put in.

the media has never been very kind to Logan. he is a little shy, he is quite softly spoken, he doesn't go for bragadaccio and he's not particularly goofy. he doesn't insist on pointing out he's there on merit. he's quite careful with what he says, guarded. he does not like things to get weird and with the motorsport media, things so often do.

trepidation about his F2 record from people who barely tune into the races being broadcast in the media centre they're in raised questions before he was in F1. Williams' re-signing of him was deemed a bit controversial, perhaps proof the team was soft. yeeting him from his car was proof they were hard enough, in fact, that rending confidence from your driver like flesh torn off a bone is somehow a useful function of the sport, from people who a mildly critical comment would send into a 5-day spiral.

(I would know)

Logan has not performed poorly this year. he hasn't performed as well as Alex but Alex has been throwing together Lando-grade drives, as you'd probably expect given the pair of them have (close to) equal experience in F1 or at least the same number of years chewing through the gristle of it.

(why am I using so many visceral meat metaphors? perhaps 3am is not the time to write anything)

all things considered, the fact that Logan did not dissolve into a puddle of goo after Australia is commendable. he has also outqualified a fucking Red Bull multiple times. he has crashed a bit, yes, because that's what driving on the edge with an air of desperation starts to look like - when Charles did it (really a lot more) in 2020 no one thought it was because he had run out of talent.

Logan has not been driving the same car as Alex. Alex himself has confirmed this. that's, uhm, fucking dire if you're trying to fix things in the simulator because that will be correlated to the upgraded car, which is what the team is interested in. even if they load yours back in, the correlation will be steadily migrating away and they won't be too interested in what it's telling them because it's the old car.

to say that Williams lost interest in Logan early this season would be an understatement. they spent a huge amount of effort and got back a bunch of world champions to film an hour-long feature with Logan's sponsor and him. it got mentioned, like, twice? because it came out the same week Alex got re-signed.

I'm not saying re-signing Alex Albon isn't exciting. hell, I'd be very excited. but that was probably the moment I knew this was going to get horrendously messy.

James Vowles is a charming man who has lots of likeable qualities. he is first and foremost an engineer and looks for engineering solutions, something he was very able to translate to strategy. he is, however, not used to being a figurehead for an organisation.

do I think the public way JV conducted the search for Logan's replacement was fair on the team, any of the drivers involved or, especially, Logan? absolutely fucking not. made all of them look like they were taking turns in a fake taxi that instead turning into a sexy thing was a clown car with JV dressed as the Joker.

I don't honestly know how Logan kept turning up and driving through that. it's one thing to believe you can do something, anything, to prove yourself and another to know you just: can't. there's nothing left you can do. there are no other seats on the grid. time to start talking to teams in other series except if you do that someone will hear about it and then you'll be even more undermined.

I think that, when he looks back, James will realise he fucked this very badly. he obviously wants to do what's best for the team and is overruling quite a lot of sensible interpersonal stuff to do that and particularly how he should act with the media which, again, not something he's had such exposure to despite his long F1 career.

Logan Sargeant has, like his car last weekend, burned in a pyrrhic symbol of what Williams want to exorcise from their team. they want to stop losing.

but like James was saying at the start of the season, before the rush of chasing new drivers caught him up, the main problem is they need to fix the car. Franco Colapinto will not do that. he is a perfectly good stopgap replacement for someone who, yes, has probably now reached a mindset where it is perhaps kinder to not expect him to drive an F1 car.

but it will probably be more telling when Carlos Sainz Jnr is also just a driver, unless the team pulls miracles over the winter.

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

No because can we talk about team Sabbath? Not to say that they're hot and they're cool but like analyse them?

Can we talk about how they're different from others individually? How they're socially rejected as if they're fundamentally different from normals?

Firstly, Vinny Hong.

He was always discriminated for being different in every way one can be different from someone. His looks- red hair and Heterochromia which is said to be his albinism. He has been bullied for looking differently than what's beauty standard in Korea, for being different from normal people as he was convinced that he's abnormal one. He was also bullied a lot for being a poor, which sets his difference between rich or non poor people and him. He has been picked on a lot because of that and the fact that he was struggling with money affected his character a lot. We saw that society doesn't treat ppl with albinism and/or Heterochromia well, and plus poor people are often victims of bullying. On top of that, he got in troubles a lot and made himself a name "a thug" in school, which again set him apart from rest of students. He's called mad dog. Teachers can't deal with him, adults are having problems with him and etc. He's completely rejected by society. That's why he wants recognition so badly, so that he can deal with his inferiority complex.

Secondly, Hajun a.k.a Joker

Hajun is underground fighter, I think that already sets him apart from most people and most boxers (as they don't fight for underground fights) so that's one difference for you. Even his little brother hates that he's underground fighter, despite the fact that Hajun genuinely seems to like fighting just as cycling but despite that, his love for fighting isn't being accepted by his own family. He's also different from others as a character. For example, his attention span seems to be short and messy as he gets easily distracted. He's in middle of important race but he gets distracted and stops at red light when he actually doesn't have to. No one stopped in entire windbreaker at red light except Hajun. He also stopped to save the puppy during the race and came in last because of that. People were confused because what Hajun was doing was not making sense for them, that it was actually very different from what kind of players they're used to. Plus Hajun, just like Vinny, is facing money problems.

Thirdly, Wooin Yoo

Wooin was rejected by his own family but I think it's also said how people, even now, refuse to admit that he's normal. But first of all, his main issue is his family. Wooin has been trying for years to get recognition from his family, some love and acknowledgement but he never got one, in fact he got redeemed as useless, disappointment, troublemaker punk. All he honestly wanted was recognition from his family, no one else. He was locked up, yes fucking locked up, by his own father and the freedom got ripped away from his hands. I doubt he had much freedom from the beginning anyway. He got locked up for assumingly long time and even if his house was big and even if he was rich, he was extremely lonely. Now, he's seen as weird by people but I honestly think it's because he couldn't develop well due to his abusive family.

Lastly, Hyuk Kwon

We all know why Hyuk is being rejected: his style. He's pro Cyclist, he's really good and talented but unfortunately, he can be aggressive. Like his jack-knife, or how he tried to crush team ghost's member's head with his bike while telling them to die. That's what got him expelled from his previous team.

"i heard Hyuk is kicked out."

"Finally. Everyone who races against him ends up injured haha."

So it's obvious he was rejectec by his own team. If it hasn't been Wooin, he'd probably be dealing with this problem again.

Team Sabbath is being rejected by rest of the teams as well, as other crews don't welcome their style of cycling. But it's like Hummingbird and Sabbath aren't that different, they're both similar to found family but they have different morals.

[reshiram]

help a disabled family of two!!!

hi!! i've made some help posts before, but i'm making this one to prepare for things in advance, as it's not urgently needed all at once, and instead is something i would need over the coming months.

long story short, my dad got badly injured at work in october. he's an 80 year old cancer patient and i've been taking care of him more ever since this happened. we found out a few days ago that unfortunately, his job doesn't want him to come back, despite him working there for over a decade. we've been struggling a lot and this was very bad news.

while we do have options, we're obviously not making as much money as usual, and the coming summer is going to be extremely rough. we don't have much money left and i'm scared of what will happen in the future. while i have picked up some freelance work, it's not enough to keep us going, so i could really use some extra help.

750 / 1000 (will keep this updated!)

☕ ask me privately for other payment options

[vortian]

Fundraisers I've received that need attention! (part 2)

the amount of asks I've received is too long for just the original post (linked in my pinned post), and I refuse to leave anyone under a readmore

@wejdan-32 and their three children have been displaced 12 times and are in need of help.

(€1,196 raised of €20,000 goal) gfm link

not verified (yet)

@hazemsuhail are a family of eight. one member's bipolar disorder has been severely impacted by the conflict. They all seek safety in Egypt.

(€6,838 raised of €50,000 goal) gfm link

verified by dlxxv-vetted-donations (they are not an official vetter, but got information from someone who was verified themself. it's at least worth linking here)

@abdelmutei needs to evacuate their child to safety!

(€12,561 raised of €25,000 goal) gfm link

verified by 90-ghost

@mahmoud3hilles has a family of 40, a large part consisting of children, and they are all seeking safety

(€12,014 raised of €50,000 goal) gfm link

verified as entry #198 on the vetted evacuation fundraiser spreadsheet

@saveyouseffamily has a baby son who is very ill and struggling to breathe. he's in need of treatment asap!

(€14,557 raised of €20,000 goal) gfm link

verified as #406 in the Butterfly Effect Project verified fundraiser list

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[quinngefail]

So apparently at 19 Lawrence got institutionalized for 6 months from a psychotic breakdown. I’m pretty sure it’s mentioned in one of the video games. Do you think he’d tell Adam about it? How you you think adam would react? (Also why do you think he even had a breakdown?) love you!!! 🩷

Omfg okay okay I haven't played either of the games yet but I intend to. I did not know about that little bit of lore, though..... But tbh it slides in so perfectly with what I've been formulating for backstory headcanons,

I haven't actually written any of this out in my Google doc yet but. I feel like rambling and just laying out the relevant parts of what I've been brainstorming for him-

Putting a cut because this got longer than I thought it would. Also- tw for talks of emotional abuse, alcoholism, and a brief sui mention- nothing super detailed, though.

So uh. I've been imagining him growing up in this wealthy, very controlling, catholic household. And even from a young age it was extremely rare for his parents to even glance at any of his problems.., One part because they were absolutely the types to guilt him with the whole "THERE ARE CHILDREN IN AFRICA STARVING AND YOU'RE SITTING HERE CRYING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS SO TRIVIAL" and another part because I imagine his mother was diagnosed with cancer when Lawrence was just a kid. Which was hard on everyone, of course, but this also meant less attention being put on him and his problems (ft. more guilting because you should be grateful that all you have is a scraped knee, stop crying). Basically the response to any of his struggles would very often be Stop Moping and/or Go Pray About It y’know-

Sooo even at a young age, he quickly developed this mindset that none of his problems were actually 'real', because he had it drilled into his head again and again that he was in a far more fortunate + blessed position than others. Which yeah obviously he had a great deal of privilege on his side from the get-go, but he's still allowed to express hurt and his need for love and care, y’know,

So he just starts repressing everything, holding it all inside. Internally minimizing and invalidating just about anything that made him upset. He does this for years, and years. And by the time that first year of college rolls around, he now has the most independence in his life that he's ever had, finally away from that very, very controlling household... And I very much imagine him as the type to just go off the rails almost immediately, especially in the drinking department. His grades rapidly slip, and he knows there will be hell to pay when his parents inevitably find out about all of this- but it's easier to just sit back and drink, and let his cares about everything slip away.

And of course, his parents do indeed find out. And there is indeed hell to pay. More so from his father, though, as his mother's condition has been rapidly deteriorating, which was certainly just one of the many motivators for Lawrence's drinking. And it's not long before she does pass away, which I think was a final straw of sorts for his mental health.

Between the bottles and bottles of repression he's been holding in for years, the drinking, the fact that he's fucked up so badly with college + absolutely fuckin wasted an amount of time and money, the sheer outrage and disappointment from his parents, his mother's death, and the shattering of his already shaky faith (because evidently, praying for his mother's health didn't do a goddamn thing)... It's a wonder he didn't break sooner,

So then this is where him being institutionalized just SLIDES IN SO EASILY... And I do think right before this happened, he had attempted to take his own life, unable to deal with it all. The treatment helps him back onto a straight path. And maybe he'd already been interested in the medical field, but the loss of his mother was sort of the final push towards wanting to pursue oncology specifically. So after being released, it's college take two: and it goes far better than the last time.

However, he develops this fear of losing control again. He finds comfort and necessity in order. He almost needs it to feel okay. He still has a hard time voicing and downplaying his problems, though, still feeling like they're not 'real'... This being a particular souvenir from growing up that he just can't seem to overcome.

He's also not at all surprised to get a call (in either his late 20s or early 30s) that his father had drank himself to death. Just seemed inevitable.

Then, to cut to the Becoming Closer With Adam Era, I don't imagine he has a hard time explaining that both of his parents have passed away, and why. But he has a very hard time disclosing everything else that happened. Because his problems aren't 'real', of course, and it's just an extremely touchy subject for him in general. Been imagining for a while now that he has this whole Thing where he's far more focused on helping Adam with his own problems- and y’know, part of that is just the fact that when they finally reunite in my AU, Adam is obviously deeply in need of help, because things have gotten bad for him in the months following the bathroom trap. But another part is just Lawrence still having troubles with expressing his own struggles; whether they be traumatic incidents of the past, or the more current Jigsaw related traumas.

Adam eventually catches onto this, especially as his problems become less urgent. And while he's not necessarily going to interrogate Lawrence over anything, he does begin to more frequently urge him to talk about things when he's obviously upset. Lawrence still isn't as good at masking as he thinks he is, much to his dismay. Something specific that I imagine Adam reminding him, with a earnest voice of kindness and patience, is that "this isn't just about you helping me, it's about me helping you, too."

Lawrence does eventually start to open up more about his more current struggles, but it takes a good, long while before he begins scratching the surface of that period of his life. They would be upsetting conversations for the both of them, of course, but the fact that they happen at all are just testaments to the trust they've built together. They feel safer and safer being vulnerable with one another, and it brings them closer together.

And maybe, it brings them closer and closer to things finally just feeling okay.

...WOOH If you are here, thank you for reading- didn't think I was going to ramble this much, but EVIDENTLY I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS ON THIS THAN I REALIZED LMAO..... WHEN I SAY I HAVE A SMALL NOVEL WORTH OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THESE TWO I'M NOT LYING HRKSKGK

A lot of this is also still in the brainstorming stage at this point, so things may be subject to change :] WE SHALL SEE...

And thank you for the ask, and the kind words!!! I hope you enjoy my brainrot HSKGK

[kitorin]

how they react when they catch you simping for a fictional character

pairings. shidou ryusei x gn!reader, itoshi rin x m!reader, mikage reo x gn!reader (separate)

contents. crack, smau, a sexual joke and a half (it's just ryusei being ryusei) shinonome akito slander (I'M SORRY I PROMISE I LOVE HIM BUT RIN DOESN'T), exposing my taste in men, written all in lowercase, spoilers for sounds of a summer event (project sekai)

a/n. i thought of this bc i questioned if i liked rin or akito more 😭, and sorry for rin's being so long since i had the most ideas for him :>. i also have no confidence with crack so please bear with me and it's my first smau

shidou ryusei - seong taehoon (how to fight / viral hit)

when he caught you gawking at the new viral hit chapter, taehoon specifically, he immediately joined you (as he should)

he straight up yelled "smash" at that one scene where taehoon's snacking and he's wearing a tight shirt so you can see all of his muscles

he begs you to re read the series with them, and now you two read each update every week together, fully engaged in the story and taehoon's abs

attempts to recreate all of taehoon's kicks (i headcanon that does taekwondo and has a black belt :>), proudly shows them off to you, with a huge grin on his face (please fawn over him too)

also extensively practices so he can show them off by incorporating them into soccer somehow (doesn't matter if it ain't practical he just wants to impress you), and if he ever has to use them on anyone making you uncomfortable

he probably has a folder in his gallery dedicated to every panel he loves (which is basically all) and recreates his absolute favs (with you as his photographer)

makes a lot of jokes about being in love with taehoon (so do you), but he'd stop them if they made you uncomfortable, and reassures you that a drawing can't compare to how sweet, amazing and perfect you are

honorable mentions to baek seongjun being his second favourite

wants you to do taekwondo as well cause now he has a thing for it after discovering taehoon

"i swear to god men who do taekwondo and can actually fight are so hot,"

"isn't that you?"

"... you don't agree with me...?"

"no you have a brilliant point"

itoshi rin - shinonome akito (project sekai)

during the sounds of a summer festival event you spent so much time glued to your phone, full combo-ing literally every hard, expert, and master song you possibly could, leveling up all character ranks, sacrifice countless of hours of sleep (if it's for akito it's very much worth it), and even contemplate spending money

you even tweeted about how badly you need him

rin notices the bags under your eyes, and the lack of sleep you had been getting, he's worried and when he asks you you're too focused on the event story to even register what he says, as you're on the brink of sobbing at young akito and ena

he observes as well, and immediately is jealous of how much of your attention this fictional character was receiving from you

as you're about to spend another few hours grinding, he stops you

"dumbass you need to sleep, and give your eyes a break"

"no i don't, i need summer festival akito,"

"who and what?"

soon you're rambling on how much akito's backstory and struggles already hurt, and how wholesome yet painful the event story was, with akito quitting soccer and ena encouraging him to give music a try, and it only nurtures rin's envy

"you're going to cry for a ginger guy who quit soccer and started his ambition because of his older sister? how lukewarm,"

"yes i am?? and he looked cute as a child and now he's a pretty boy with the best vocals. their event cards are beautiful too i need them. didn't you start soccer because of sae anyways?"

"tch"

"rin... are you jealous?"

"... no, i just don't get what you see in this idiot. i never quit soccer when it got hard and i know how to persevere, i don't give up, i don't experience despair when someone's better than me-"

"so you're jealous,"

"no"

"rin you always have and always will be my number 1. akito can't do anything you've done for me, and can't even compare to how pretty you are,"

"damn right,"

despite being salty, he still installs the game to read the stories, out of pure curiosity and wants to understand what kind of stuff you like

he ends up adoring ena and akito's relationship (the supportive part only ofc), as well as tsukasa and saki's (and secretly wishes sae was as affectionate as shizuku since she reminds him of sae in the past)

you do not shut up when you seem him struggle with hitorinbo envy on master

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID AKITO WAS LUKEWARM,"

"he is, i was just curious why you liked the stories so much,"

"YOU SPENT EVERY FREE CRYSTAL ON THE FIND A WAY OUT EVENT AND NOW GRINDING FOR MORE,"

"... i want his boyfriend"

"YOU READ THE MAIN STORY TOO ?! and you don't need touya you have me"

"THAT'S HOW I FELT ABOUT AKITO,"

"YOU FEEL INFERIOR TO A LUKEWARM GINGER?"

mikage reo - kang tae moo (business proposal)

he heard you squealing at a scene of tae moo getting flustered after sunghoon suggested his feelings for hari

he thought that you were having a heart attack and thought something was wrong

reo doesn't even need the show's context to be invested immediately, as he joins you and watches with great interest

after seeing you simp over tae moo, in secret, he binge watches the rest of the series in attempt to mimic any romantic scenes

full on posts the "do you know what my credit card and my love for y/n have in common? they simply have no limit" on his not very private twitter account, and it leaves you flustered by all the comments saying how lucky you are and their jealousy

deletes any comment revealing the source of that line (silently apologises to the writer(s) and credits ahn hyo seop for its brilliant execution)

little does he know nagi made a tweet exposing him

also recreates other cute scenes from the show, and starts looking for more kdramas to watch and recreate (still gets fully absorbed in the plot and dialogue)

innocently smiles when you realize he's just a kang tae moo copycat

"i didn't copy him i'm the inspiration behind him, rich, smart, pretty and utter perfection,"

"i can't deny the second part... i can't believe nagi's seen business proposal,"

"wait what?"

©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[haniette]

mornings in heaven.

pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader

genre: fluff | marriage!au | jeonghan!softhusband | enemies to lovers | comfort

wc: 3k

warnings: puking, mentions of drugs and alcohol, blond haired jeonghan.

summary: every morning that you could spend with your angel-ish husband felt as if you were in heaven. and even after those 5 years of your marriage, you still feel the same as you felt after the first night when you slept next to him. some things just never change.

a/n: i know that mingyu's sister name is minseo, but as i made them to be twins in this story, i changed it to not let it be uncomfy for anyone.

finally uploading, hah!- but i found this plot idea so adorable that i couldn’t stop myself from writing it, so enjoy ! ~ ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

For a long time, you had difficulties in responding every time someone asked you even the most basic question which is ‘what is your favorite part of the day?’. Because the truth was that you didn’t know.

Mornings were always something that you adored the most since you were a child. Just the thought of waking up with the smell of your favorite breakfast, excitement about playing with your puppy in the garden, and meeting your friends at school was always making you feel so hyped up, that when you were falling asleep, you wanted the night to already be gone. 

But as you’ve grown up, things have changed. Drastically. You were no longer happy when you saw the sun rising, because it only meant that you had to face another day, and you didn’t know if you were able to. Favorite breakfast has already turned into just a cup of coffee, your parents sold your beloved dog to get money for drugs and alcohol, your friends already found new groups and when you came back home in the evenings, you just wanted to lay down and sleep as long as you could. 

Basically, your mornings just turned into hell. 

You’ve been struggling with it since high school, fighting for your life each day as the sun was going higher on the sky, and well.. you wouldn’t agree with it anymore. 

Because it’s been quite a long time since you finished college, and everything has changed. Your breakfast finally came back to a normal dish, the sun in the sky made you smile like a fool, and you could hang out with your best friend and a group of friends.

But most importantly, now you loved mornings again, and all of that was made by the sudden changes in your life.

Your favorite mornings were the ones that you could spend while being snuggled into the chest of your beloved husband — Yoon Jeonghan. The love of your life, and the one who helped you a lot.

Who would have thought that the college’s known trickster would make you fall in love with him so deeply, and him even deeper with you.

Who would have thought that one boy would change your life entirely?

You still remember that one day very clearly. As if it happened yesterday, and not actually 7 years ago. It was your best friend’s and her twin’s birthday party. Minsoo and Mingyu were turning 18 and they were throwing a birthday party at their house, so you couldn’t miss that special day just because you felt badly (since the morning). So after taking some painkillers and sleeping a lot, and making a tissue store, you were ready to go although still not feeling well.

At around 5:30 PM you reached the twin’s house as you promised Minsoo to help her with the decorations. It turned out that the decorations were already all settled up, but the girl was a bundle of nerves when she opened the door and let you in. Mingyu was preparing all of the alcohol stuff for tonight, and as soon as he noticed you, he waved happily, sending his adorable, puppy smile to you, and went outside to check all the stuff in the garden.

Minsoo was stressed. But maybe stressed was not really the right word to use; Minsoo was panicking. The girl couldn’t calm herself down while wandering pointlessly around the salon. So you decided to take her to her room, but she started to nervously walk around her place. Your eyes were lazily following her figure as the girl already started to also bite her lower lip with her hands crossed over her chest.

“Mind telling me what happened?” finally you asked, and grabbed her wrist to stop Minsoo from walking, “Hey, calm down or you’re going to make a hole in your floor from your walking.” feeling how your head started to hurt one more time, you laid down on her bed.

“Aish!” the girl cursed, “Mingyu told me 30 minutes ago that Seungcheol is going to be here too!” she shouted, sighing at the end.

“And what’s the problem with that?” one of your arms landed over your face, closing your eyes to not focus that much on the pain, “Gosh, y/n! You know damn well the reason..” Minsoo whined, burying her face into her hands.

Ah, yes. 

Seungchol has been Minsoo’s crush since you two were freshmen. But as Mingyu got into the friend group where Seungchol was also in, Minsoo’s hopes grew even higher, praying that maybe the one and only Choi Seungcheol will actually choose her.

You raised yourself up, and looked at her with some pity, “And all about that one boy?” the girl didn’t respond to you as she only sat on the bed next to you with her head lowered down, gripping tightly the end of her skirt.

“Hey, Soo-yah,” you cupped her face and turned her to look at you, while gently squeezing her rose-pink cheeks, “You look stunning today and you’re the best the way you are. If he’s not gonna choose you, well.. then fuck it! It doesn’t matter, it’s your big day and you have to feel special. But if he will..” Minsoo looked at you hopefully, and you smiled at her brightly, “Then I’m always going to support you two.”

Minsoo hugged you tightly, “I’m sorry that I made you come here. You’re sick, and you should stay at home..” the girl moved away to look at you, but you only chuckled at her words, “I know I’m not really a party girl, but my best friend has her 18th birthday and I cannot miss it, even if I’m sick.” you two laughed happily.

“But you know.. Jeonghan’s also going to be here.” the girl mumbled quietly. As soon as you heard that name, the smile on your face vanished immediately as you widened your eyes a little.

“Are you kidding me?” 

And so from that moment, invariably with the headache, runny nose and a feeling of throwing up you were trying to avoid that boy as much as you could. The campus’ playboy and trickster, Yoon Jeonghan. The one that made every girl open her legs in front of him. 

You hated his behavior so much.

You were hiding in Minsoo’s room as the girl insisted on you staying here to rest. She closed the curtains, and told you to lay down on her bed. But as much as you wanted to sleep, the singing or even yelling from the karaoke downstairs and the loud music were totally against your sleeping.

As you couldn’t stand laying in the bed anymore, so weakly you left Minsoo’s room and came closer towards the railings to observe the whole party from the second floor. 

Your best friend was stuck between Soonyoung, Seungcheol, Seokmin and Seungkwan while shouting the lyrics of the song, and a lot of people were singing with them, drinking, and some even making out by the walls. 

But then you spotted him. Dressed in a perfectly fitted black turtleneck and black pants, sitting on the couch next to Joshua. A glass of whisky was resting in his hand, as they were surrounded by a group of girls to which he was sending his charming smile. 

But when the boy noticed you, leaning against the railing, Jeonghan sent you a questioning look, and you just showed him a middle finger. You couldn’t stop rolling your eyes at the sight of him smirking at your reaction, and suddenly you really felt like throwing up. 

You didn’t even know if it was by Jeonghan’s face or by the sickness.

Rushing quickly to the toilet, you of course had to find another pair making out on the washing machine, but as soon as they looked at you, they left the room quickly, still glued to themselves. 

That also hasn’t been unseen by him, following your every move with his beautiful eyes.

But you couldn’t hold it anymore, and you just ran straight to the water closet. You truly wished you weren’t here, puking with the possibility of a stranger coming in and seeing you like this. You wished you could be at your home, with your mother who would take care of you. You wished someone would actually care about you.

And just then, suddenly, someone grasped your hair that was falling over your eyes, and whispered, “Shh.. it’s okay.” they started to gently caress your back.

‘Oh god, someone please pinch me.’ you thought to yourself as you immediately recognized the voice.

“Get out.” you hissed, not even looking at him, “I don’t need your help, Yoon.”

“Oh angel, yes you do.” Jeonghan uttered softly, and you could hear how a smirk appeared on his face. 

You didn’t say anything back as you slowly started to feel embarrassed that the boy saw you in that state. But ugh, seriously? Out of all the people that could have gone in here, did it really have to be him?

I didn’t understand then how lucky I was that it was actually him who helped me, and not someone else.

Jeonghan assisted you as you were trying to stand up by yourself, and helped you clean up, “Okay, thanks for your help, I can take care of myself. Now you can go back to your ladies.” you muttered, wiping your hands and face in the towel, “I bet they’re craving for you.” you added, but just when you were about to move from the boy, your legs didn’t want to cooperate with you as they bent under you and almost made you fall to the ground if not Jeonghan, who quickly catched you with his arms.

“Yeah, sure. You’re totally able to take care of yourself in this state.” the boy mocked you, which made you snort annoyingly at his words. He started to really irritate you. Why was he even here? Why didn’t he stay with those girls?

And not even 5 minutes later, Jeonghan helped you to get safely to Minsoo’s bed, tugging you under the soft sheets. Your head, although, started to hurt even stronger, making you slightly wince.

It was not left unseen by Jeonghan as his palm quickly touched your forehead, “y/n.. you’re burning up..” he said softly, with anxiety heard in his voice. You smiled softly to him, as you didn’t know what to do anymore. In a blink of an eye, the boy rushed out of the room which made you think that maybe he finally left you alone, letting you fall asleep.

But not long after, you heard someone’s whisper, “y/n, can you hear me?” you opened your eyes, and saw Jeonghan crouching next to Minsoo’s bed with a glass of water and an ice compress in his hand.

At that moment you wanted to smack your head against the wall from the embarrassment a few times. 

Why was he like this? Couldn’t he just LEAVE?

You raised yourself a bit on your elbows, and Jeonghan helped you to drink the water. It was unbelievable that you didn’t even realize how thirsty you actually were. When you finished drinking the whole liquid from the glass, the boy placed it on the side table that stood next to the bed.

“I think that the amount of pills you’ve taken today made you puke. That’s why I decided to not give you another one, but I took this ice compress from their freezer.” he said softly, and you took the cold cure from his hand, and placed it gently over your head, with the boy’s stare locked on your sleepy and pale face.

“You’re annoying, Yoon.” you mumbled, “Why are you here, and not downstairs with everyone? Let me be alone. You can get sick because of me.”

“I don’t care.” Jeonghan said without even thinking twice, “All they want is to make out with me or get drunk, but I have more important things to do.”

“I hate you.” your voice became even weaker and fragile as you turned his back to him, which made Jeonghan smile sadly. The boy stood up, and walked around the bed to sit on the other side of the bed, leaning his back against the headboard.. Luckily, Minsoo’s bed was big enough to fit 2 people in. 

His body was so close to you which gave you so much comfort and safeness that you couldn’t understand. Then, the boy started to gently play with your hair which made you melt under his touch.

You hated yourself. You hated the fact that he made you feel this way. You didn’t want to feel like that. 

But it was already too late.

In the morning, you woke up feeling much better. The high fever was already gone, and the weird feeling in your stomach also disappeared. But when you opened your eyes, you noticed that you slept snuggled into Jeonghan’s body, with his hand still resting over you, protecting you from getting cold. Your cheeks immediately started to burn, but you knew that this time it wasn’t from the fever.

Not so long later, you finally were sitting by the kitchen island, surrounded by your friends, with Jeonghan sitting in front of you, sending you some glances from time to time. Minsoo was sitting by your right and the girl was looking at you with so much happiness in her. You mouthed a quiet ‘what’ to her, and the girl leaned closer to you. 

Later you found out that while you were dying in Minsoo’s room with Jeonghan by your side, your best friend had fun with her crush.

“Oh by the way, where did you go last night, Jeonghan?” Joshua questioned making you immediately feel anxious about Jeonghan’s answer.

The boy smirked, “I had something very important to do.” he looked at you, as you sent him a warning look.

But if you had to be honest, you didn’t complain about that night. You knew that if not that day, you probably wouldn’t change your mind about Jeonghan.

And you were grateful to have someone like him in your life. 

Each of his “Good morning, angel.” that you heard from him every morning, immediately put a smile on your lips as you mumbled a soft ‘morning’ to Jeonghan, while he kissed your forehead softly.

And today’s day was not different. Although this time, surprisingly it was you who woke up first. 

The sun’s rays were shining through the blinds, lazily resting on your faces, and the sound of singing birds was echoing in your room. 

Right when you opened your eyes, you found your husband lying on your left side with one of his hands (as usual) resting on your waist as it was his favorite place to lay his hand. 

Just the sight of Jeonghan still resting peacefully beside you, made you feel like your heart both grew painfully large and quickly dropped into your stomach.

Even after those 2 years of dating and 5 years of your marriage, you felt like you could lay all day in bed, tracing his features for hours long. He looked angelic. His blonde, long hair spread out over the pillow, with his bangs hovering over his closed eyes, and the playful smirk that he had always worn smoothed out into a soft smile. You grinned, while realizing how he always manages to impress you that much, even in his sleep, doing nothing.

“It’s not nice to stare at someone like that, angel,” suddenly you heard Jeonghan’s voice which made you slightly flinch as you were sure that he was still asleep, “Especially when they’re asleep.” he added, and finally opened his eyes.

And there they were.

The most beautiful, dark and shiny thing that you’ve ever seen, while being so deep and tempting as you looked into them. Because Yoon Jeonghan’s eyes were one of the many things that made you immediately fall in love with him.

The normal, cold, playful, disgusting and excited gaze, all of it looked so unique in his eyes, but you also had your favorite of all of them. His soft stare that he always treated you with, like it was reserved only for you.

And just like that, he was observing you, and you only.

“But how did you know?” you snuggled closer to him, and he put his hands carefully over your body while locking you in a warm hug, “You were still asleep just a minute ago.” 

Jeonghan chuckled softly, while smiling to himself, “Oh baby, I always wake up before you, and it was not different this time. But I decided to lay with you for a few minutes before getting up.” he kissed your temple, while drowning deeply into your scent, “And I knew you have woken up because the way of your breathing has changed.” 

You chucked into his chest, “Okay, I’m getting more impressed with you from day to day.” 

“And it’s been only 5 years, angel.” he moved you on top of him, and you hugged him like a koala, listening to his peaceful heartbeat. “I love you.” you whispered, what made Jeonghan giggle sweetly, with the vibrations of his laugh  brushing your cheeks.

“I love you more, angel.”

Ah yes. You totally love mornings. Especially the mornings in heaven with Jeonghan. Those were your favorite.

© shuawonie | 2023, all rights reserved.

reuploads and likes are highly appriciated ♡

[tavolgisvist]

Allen Klein is a businessman. He has had dealings with a guy called Tony Calder who worked as a partner for Andrew Oldham. The three of them managed the affairs of the Rolling Stones. Oldham & Calder left the Stones scene, but Klein stayed. … Tony has something on his mind that is why he is taking me to work in his Morgan. He says: ‘Allen Klein says you are in his way. Allen says you are blocking him from meeting the Beatles and doing business with them.’ I am amazed. I say, ‘I never give Allen Klein a thought from one year to the next. What is the guy talking about, me being in his way?’ … So I tell Tony if Klein thinks I am in his way, and as I’m not in his way, I’d better show the guy I’m not, by moving out of the way anyone else who might be in his way. I tell Tony to tell Klein I am (a) not in his way, and (b) if anyon I tell Tony to tell Klein to call. I go into work at Apple and I see Peter Brown, Brian’s old pal, mine, the Beatles, Apple’s and so on. Peter knows many things. I say, ‘Allen Klein wants to meet the Beatles.’ ‘Does he ever,’ says Peter. I ask: ‘Is there anyone in his way?’ Peter says, ‘Only the Beatles.’ He explains Brian didn’t like Klein and the Beatles had never heard anything about him that attracted them either. … I say there is this guy Klein who badly wants to see them. John says yeah, Klein’s been trying to reach him but he won’t take the call. I do some hype for Klein and say he is a strange cat, hated by some of the people who met him and also by some of the people who have only heard of him. George says, ‘he sounds really nice’, and I say that if they want someone to run their money scene then Klein may be the man. But I also say they had better look at him very hard and ask around Jagger and Donovan and the others he handles. I mean really check Klein out. But see him too. See him face to face. John says OK, I’ll see him and the others rhubarb a bit and that’s the lunch over. I call Les Perrin and tell him tell Klein to call and Klein does and then he flies over really fast, like yesterday. He meets John, they talk all night and boy do they dig each other. John comes into the office and says, ‘Don’t care about the others, don’t give a shit … but I’m having Klein, he can have all of my stuff and get it sorted out.’ John says there is too much fear around, everyone must stop being frightened, everything is going to be fantastic, like Klein is going to be the genie of the lamp. Paul, George and Ringo get to meet Klein and he begins to act as if he is half-hired but maybe not. He says he will save Northern Songs from the wicked Lew Grade. He says he will buy NEMS Enterprises. He says he will take EMI to the cleaners. In the end he doesn’t save Northern Songs and he doesn’t buy NEMS Enterprises, but takes EMI and Capitol to the cleaners and to hell and back… …

It is 1970. Paul still doesn’t like Klein but John digs him more than ever and George digs him more than that and Ringo doesn’t mind him. Paul? He is so uptight about Klein he only leaves the Beatles, that’s all. Klein and me meet the press and TV and all that; together we sit on a sofa and talk about Paul. Mr Klein, why doesn’t Paul like you? Mr Taylor, why doesn’t Paul like Mr Klein? I don’t know, don’t ask me, man, don’t ask me. Paul releases his album and Klein releases the Beatles’ album and they both make a million and Klein has had Phil Spector remix Paul’s song ‘The Long and Winding Road’, adding a women’s choir and some violins etc. Paul thinks this is the shittiest thing anyone has ever done to him and that is saying something, but Klein laughs up his silk sleeve and releases ‘Long and Winding Road’ as a single anyway and still with Phil’s new arrangement. Up there in Scotland, Paul McCartney, one of the four owners of Apple, the company formed to give total freedom, artistic control, to struggling performers and writers, wonders what went wrong, when even he can’t control his own work. I am wondering too. Everyone is wondering. But Klein isn’t wondering. He knows, he knows. …

Money is pouring into Apple so I guess you could say that Allen Klein straightened Apple out as the Beatles wanted it. The only thing is … where is Apple and where are the Beatles? If you find out, please let me know, I haven’t seen them in a long time. The way I see it, Klein is really bringing a whole lot of people down, including me sometimes and I have a deal which keeps me at home writing stuff like this so what am I whining about? Well, being as how I brought Klein to Apple, by making sure the way was clear, I owe someone, somewhere something, that’s for sure. What is it and what have I done? Our Apple is all chewed up. It is the most ungroovy place I ever knew and I have to say it, we have all let it happen, all of us, but me, I told Tony Calder to tell Klein to call and if I am going to make any more mistakes about Allen Klein, then let it be writing this, let it be.

(Derek Taylor, As Time Goes By, 1973)

(Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI)

[qqueenofhades]

JSYK the OP of the Crab Day post is a self-identified conservative Christian. Can't speak to anything she may have done or said, but I do know that Crab Day wouldn't actually fix Tumblr - the site is running a 30mil *deficit,* which is different from debt. All Crab Day would do would be telling staff that their current policies get users to send them more money, which doesn't actually change anything. Corporations change only when their business strategy is losing the shareholders money.

Gotta be honest, my friend, I'm... not sure what you're trying to do here? Warn me that the original post was made by a Problematic Person (tm) and therefore that must mean it's all wrong, or.... what?

We know that Tumblr badly needs money, because they have told us that and openly admitted that the unpopular new changes were spurred by a need for increasing revenue. I logged on just now on desktop and got a suggestion that I could purchase an ad-free browsing subscription to help support the hellsite (which is the word they used, because they have very much embraced the joke). I have in fact already bought an ad-free subscription, both because I like the product Tumblr provides and want to keep using it in its current form, and because it makes my mobile experience immeasurably nicer. I am well aware that especially in this era of social media sites dropping like flies, the continued existence of a platform that is 30-million-dollars underwater (however you want to split hairs about exactly how) is not a guarantee. And we all complain about Tumblr, but we have all been here a long time (me, uh, over 10 years), we have a solid community, there's no other alternative that's really ever come up or gotten the same kind of uptake, and if it went under, we would be uh, screwed.

Tumblr is kind of a mess, it's the antithesis of every social media site, and it doesn't (for now) have the crap that makes The Artist Formerly Known As Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram so utterly unusable, or if it does, you can (mostly) turn it off. That's why we all like it and why, even if we are resolutely anti-capitalist gremlins who resist being marketed to with every fiber of our being, it doesn't change the fact that servers, staff, and all the rest cost real human-people money which the site, by their own frank admission, is struggling to raise. Even if staff does often make crappy updates, they generally at least TRY to listen to us and include a feature to make it optional or roll it back, unlike certain unnamed idiot billionaires. Their mockery of other social media sites can sometimes be a little much, but for now, Tumblr is pretty much the last place on the internet that does what it does, and I like it that way. If it went under and took my blog of 10+ years and all my friends with it, I would be incredibly sad.

That being the case, and basic financial realities being what they are, encouraging people to toss a few bucks at a TOTALLY OPTIONAL and fun gimmick that increases functionality for a product we like is actually not a bad thing. TumblrMart has crabs, checkmarks, Ea-Nasir merchandise (seriously), ad-free browsing, etc., and if our choice is voluntarily supporting the site through fun (and again, OPTIONAL) purchases versus having us all be involuntarily subject to some horrible data-scraping mechanism or forced off altogether because they couldn't keep the lights on, that is fine with me. Nobody is making anybody do or buy anything. But if you like the product Tumblr provides and want a fun material way to show your appreciation, then I don't think it's some Great Transgression to participate in that.

[kkami-writes]

hey guys!! long time no talk......here's a little life update!

so as you remember I got a job at the beginning of novemeber! while kinda stressful and hectic I really enjoyed working with the dogs and was happy even if i didn't have as much time for other things. December took a bit of a rough turn with seasonal depression and just feeling no motivation for really much of anything. For context for years I've never really had amazing birthdays, I've been disappointed, upset or just alone on my birthdays and I've long lost the excitement of my birthday. This year, I took a trip to Orange County/LA to visit family. We had planned on doing an escape room (something I've only done once but enjoyed but with my anxiety the thought of being locked in a room freaks me out). my cousins bf however booked a saw themed room. for those of you who don't know. I hate horror. ok, I digress. sometimes I can watch horror. but i mostly more enjoy horror video games but even then I do NOT play them for the most part. And if I do I usually have to take a break bc my anxiety spikes. In years I have gotten better at dealing with it, but in general horror movies specifically trigger me pretty badly. And prior to this, my anxiety had been out of control, constant anxiety and panic attacks that I didn't think I was even going to make it on my trip. So needless to say I was upset. Because I was looking forward to doing an escape room, I enjoy puzzles and thinking but that being said I would never ever do a horror themed escape room. I felt bad because I couldn't do it and they had already paid and it was about an hour before we had to leave. (thank god I asked what the theme of the room was before we got there). anyway, with all my emotions that I had been piling up in me, I just had a bad breakdown and cried. They all ended up going bc again, didn't want to waste money and I just wanted to be alone at that point anyway. Regardless, I still had a good time on the trip, "minor" bump aside. We went to little tokyo and I got to go to designer con for a bit. ALSO I love my cousins bf, he's a really nice guy. He did not know I don't do horror so it's not his fault. In his defense it was more supposed to be horror comedy / parody but I was already very highly anxious that even that would freak me out.

With my job, the original owners of the daycare had sold it, due to personal circumstances so we were getting a whole new owner. Except that a lot of us did not agree with things they were going to be adding or the way they interacted with the dogs. They have "nap time" which is literally just them crating all the dogs for almost 2 whole hours. Not all the dogs are crate trained and needless to say, did not enjoy it. When we tried it a few times it was just non stop barking for 2 hours. It was heartbreaking and sad. Literally everyone but two people have quit and decided they would not be working with these new people who clearly don't really care about the dogs. It's all about how to make the most money. The new owners don't even HAVE a dog. It's kinda crazy. So that being said...I have also decided to leave as I just don't feel comfortable there anymore. Which is heartbreaking because even though it's been two months, I've really bonded with these dogs and love them and it feels like I've left them to fend for themselves :/ anyway, I don't want to keep rambling on and on. but basically! i'm on the hunt for a new job and still struggling a bit with motivation and my mood, but i'm still hoping to return back to writing in january. I miss you guys a lot and have missed writing. I'm gonna answer all my asks soon. Thanks <3

[bcolfanfic]

I feel like you need some kindness in your inbox, so here, have some (hopefully) fun and good vibes:

About YV: once the kiddos are older, how are the buckies as empty nesters? Does Bucky ever go back to work?Does Gale take up weird hobbies? Is it all sudoku puzzles and enjoying that they don’t have to actively parent as much and get to enjoy being friends with their adult children?

About you: what are you looking forward to in 2025?

this is so kind thank you <3

as for the bucks- john never goes back to work in the Traditional Full Time Job sense. by the time both the kids are grown gale is done with his PhD and in a real good job as observatory engineer, so they're set money wise. but he does like volunteering, esp with outdoorsy activities which there's a whole lot of in wyoming. micah did rodeo growing up and i can def see john being a ~rodeo dad~ even when micah is grown/not doing it anymore. 

gale kinda on a whim gets really into puzzles when the kids and all their stuff is mostly out of the house. gets the giant ones that take up a whole table. and it lowkey stresses john out just looking at all the itty-bitty pieces but he still sits with him and helps him sort pieces if he doesn't have anything else to do <3 gets him this star map one for christmas. 

when the dust settles after wyatt comes back from being missing/is more fully on the road to recovering and rebuilding his life him and micah settle down in new york. makes wyatt feel so guilty because he knows how much micah loves wyoming but he just. can't see a world where he can live there long term in a way that aligns with his recovery. not easy for micah either but he loves him and its a "change of plans" that he's able to make his peace with.

which is to say josie stays in wyoming and they aren't trullyyy empty nesters in the sense that she loves swinging by just to bug her dads lmao. but its coming from a place of love! and after all the struggles they had w her as a teenager they like having that time with her. she smokes cigs as an adult and bucky is always telling her she should quit but. secretly he kinda likes sitting out on the back deck smoking with his kid that turned out *so* good. makes him all emotional if he thinks about the weight of it all for too long.

to your question about *me* i am very much looking forward to my 2nd we happy few 506 tour in april (: finding irl community as an adult has been really hard for me and i finally found what i wanted so badly with WFH. excited to be w/ my friends and other ww2 nerds and going to more airbases!

[cjoat-boost]

March 4, 2024 Edit of this still relevant post from February 27, 2024

For those that view any of my online presences (including my blogs)…Um, this is something for you to know.

Please save this post so it doesn’t get buried by queue.

My& Current Health Situation

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I wish to communicate this to y’all now so that…I don’t end up worrying anyone when this happens. It may have been noticeable by some folks that I’m dragging, heavily. I’m not having a good time right now with my body. With this comes with an onion of issues detailing certain aspects of what I’m going through.

I know I have a lot of obligations. Not only as a creative and content creator; but as a friend, a mentor, Guardian or even older peer, and myself. I’ve neglected myself for too long. I have been noticing my vitality decrease; and my CFS and POTS flaring up further.

Social Justice is something I’m always perceiving and sensitive to; and as such, the strain I’ve noticed too late has been worsening. Includes many emotional meltdowns and outbursts from me that I can no longer control or hold back.

Trying to figure out how to exactly sort through the mass tangles of my traumatized emotional and mental state isn’t as simple as I hoped for me. While I’m creatively burned out, I am suffering Autistic burnout. A double whammy of all things.

I’m finding myself getting “stuck,” unable to physically move for hours at a time. I’d move upstairs to eat something but end up being there for what’s normally an half hour task…for nearly 2+ hours. Even so, trying to force movement to do tasks that is considered “everyone can do these” is mentally painful and physically locking. Even if I have to desperately use the bathroom when I’m about to fall asleep, my headmates (AKA alters) have to switch to co-front or “snatch me back” in order to get my body moving. That’s with the sudden rocket spike in heart rate and blood pressure, and loss of balance (at the very least).

I’m already struggling to cope with many things due to the fact that I haven’t been able to draw much at all; or create anything and write anything. Especially trying desperately to fulfill my word on things I had the energy to do, but no longer do. So much of my struggles I can’t properly transmute. It’s so upsetting.

Thus, there’s going to be a sudden and abrupt shift in posting or messaging. I don’t know when. But it is coming.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(Especially since I’ve been feeling mania over the weekend. All weekend, Saturday and Sunday, I manic cleaned large portions of certain areas I occupy as well as my housemate. Today I’m feeling the aching in my joints badly, with my calves swearing hell at me. I’m wearing my wrist brace too, I just…I’m rambling.)

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I wish for you to know what’s happening if you don’t see or hear from me, my headmates, or any of my online presences (as depicted here: https://cjoatbysamwise.com/cjoats-links ) No one is being forgotten. I’m not abandoning anyone. I’m not ghosting anyone. What I do know (still coming to terms with it ngl) is I need to stop, fully stop, and recover. It’s looking like my body is going to do that for me by force. It’s going to be abrupt and sudden to the inconvenience of many, including my housemate, unfortunately.

I don’t know how long this will last. But I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep “hustling” like this. Does this sound repetitive? I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.

Does this sound repetitive? I’ll end it here. I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.

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I’ll end it here with how you can support me while I’m down, only able to and wish to (I’m aware financial situations are a big struggle at the moment, there is no pressure to.)

Provide support by these links:

Thank you for reading until the end; have an awesome week ahead. Please remember to hydrate and eat. 🫶🏽❤️‍🩹

[lugarn]

Playboyy Anniversary Week 1+2 | Favorite Character + Favorite Sexual Fantasy

Sorry for being so late to the party, y'all! As penance I'm probably gonna write way too much about who and what I like and also share screenshots.

The short answer is Porsche! I love him and his cunty little outfits.

The long answer is that from the moment I saw him dominating and humiliating the fuck out of Jump I knew this tiny dom who wants to be railed would be one of my favorites. 

I didn't know that Porsche was my absolute favorite until the sugar baby reveal, which was when the depths of my obsession began.

Despite not yet being exposed to the agonies, I was into him and Jump from the start.

I'm really not sure where to begin with my feelings about Porsche. He gives me the agonies (positive) if I rotate him in my mind even the tiniest bit. It's always so rewarding to think about him.

I remember thinking that if Zouey's friends know his sexual hang-ups (and they do, we have proof they do) then Porsche knows exactly how unlikely Zouey is to fully take advantage of whoever he hires. 

He did choose someone who aligns with Zouey's physical type, so good job Porsche. If I think too hard about how Zouey and Porsche having the same physical type also translates to them both having been into Jason's body, it makes me really sad, but it's another moment when you can see that Playboyy had spent so much time not only thinking about what the characters are into sexually, but in the ways that comes out when they actually fuck. 

Porsche's place, where they host Zouey's birthday party, has this fucking fascinating wall in it that's a real clue into Porsche and how he sees the non-Jason dudes he fucks:

and then we see the wall again when he's propositioning Jump:

And honestly it's just such great environmental/visual storytelling about where Porsche is coming from.

Before all the shit with Jason happened, did Zouey and Porsche bond about being into buff guys? (Note that there's nobody on that wall with a body like Porsche's.) It seems like Zouey, Nant, and Porsche were very close first semester but weren't as close by the time the show starts. We all know Jason is the reason for that, but I wanna know what things looked like before the stuff with Jason happened. 

The most devastating Porsche moment in the show, for my money, is the expression on Porsche's face when Zouey says "You don't know what it's like" (or something on those lines), meaning that Porsche hasn't been assaulted by someone so he doesn't know what it's like. 

(image)

Do you see this? The agonies, y'all. Porsche gives me the agonies and it's great. 

There's another thing that I think about a lot with Porsche, and it's the text messages.

We know from them that Jason required Porsche to text him pictures every morning of his dick, and presumably have some sort of call too since Jason called and Porsche missed it and got in trouble. 

That's so much daily trauma from just having to exist! No wonder he ends up acting out.

The fact that Porsche's sadism shows his abuse is so interesting to me, too.

He's clearly sadistic, but he realizes after the stuff with Tutor (and when faced with the reality of Jason coming home) that he treated Jump badly. And then these two idiots (affectionate) go and role play meeting for the first time again?? My heart.

I think in the end Porsche is my favorite because you can always see him struggling with something, and a lot of what he struggles with (like Zouey) is balancing his own desires with his trauma. The only difference is that for Porsche, the trauma is ongoing. Even after the little happy scene with Jump, Porsche returns to Jason and the daily trauma of his life. 

As for sexual fantasies, Jump and Porsche exhibit a lot of my favorites: 

blue collar/uniform fantasies 

choking

face-slapping

hair-pulling

domination

humiliation

public sex 

begging

fucked up master/slave 

jealousy

even more humiliation

and pet play with a side of humiliation!

And all of this is why I love them the most.

Thank you if you've made it this far; I'm not sure what else to say! If you are reading this and you think "wow I'm into those kinks" and you haven't seen Playboyy? I suggest you give Playboyy a try. The best way to watch (IMHO) is going in blind, but I've made a couple resources (a non-spoilery character cheat sheet and some very spoilery warnings) that hopefully will make watching easier.