#i have adhd i just don’t care for a diagnosis or being made to like think normally | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nebula-remnants · 7 months ago

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oh man... you have no idea what i'm about to drop on you all.

HEY!!! so. I made a GIANT list of headcanons for Sun and Moon that are all autism related since I have an excuse to now. I gave twitter a warning but I forgot to here so sorry to anyone who clicks to keep reading and goes into this post unprepared.

I did want to make an attempt to make this easy to read so, Green is just going to be for regular but still have some in depth meaning for why it's on this list, Orange is for a headcanon that is more serious!! I try to word myself correctly and explain why these ones are important in the case of accurate. (sometimes PAINFULLY accurate) representation. I wanted to go in depth for symptoms that are less discussed. so i'm going to discuss them the best I can regardless because their just as important to representation. ideas that stray from canon and are more my interpretations of how I think they'd act in certain situations will be pink

Both get frustrated when you mess with their stuff (this could just be a cleanliness deal for the daycare exclusively, however the barrels aren’t exactly a major mess since there are so few of them, so it can also be taken as wanting items a certain way. I kind of headcanon it as a bit of both tbh

I think Sun would have a strong sense of justice. He is a “hero” character as far as old theater traits go. And his canon behavior suggests he’s both petty and controlling of his environment. I believe those traits are a result of his current situation, but with this headcanon a sense of justice would go in perfectly because it means he’s strongly bound to his moral beliefs. Now it’s good to mention a strong sense of justice is NOT always a good thing!! Having a strong sense of justice does not automatically mean someone has all the correct moral beliefs, but it can sometimes make people self righteous (especially when they aren’t self aware.) but anyways moral righteousness does not always mean correctness!! I really like this headcanon especially because it’s complex, it falls into morally gray areas. Has good intentions but can hurt people by accident. Some of this applies to Moon too but I have less canon material to work with.

I think Moon would go COMPLETELY non verbal when upset, but it would go easily unnoticed because people might just assume he’s always quiet. which y'know. isn't okay obviously, but for his circumstance I do feel it would be at least accurate.

I don’t think they would know about being autistic themselves. LET ME EXPLAIN. So if the Fallfest thing is right they’re potentially from the 70s, that makes them old. Plus they’re robots. It’s not like someone realistically would go and diagnose them with autism, unless like, the guy that made them was autistic and was projecting onto them HARD. but what i’ve noticed from older family members that went nearly their whole life without a diagnosis?? They kind of just. Suffer and think it’s normal. My father has ADHD and kind of went most of his life thinking he was just a problematic kid in school, actually i still think he does 😭 (spoiler: he had a hard time focusing on subjects he wasn’t hyper fixated on and was treated without any accommodations even considered) the reason i bring this up for Sun and Moon is i think they sort of just go about their business thinking it’s normal and everyone experiences those things. So basically I think they’d be undiagnosed in the fnaf universe (or could have some outdated information about autism stored somewhere, like I even did a few years ago. because in my opinion I haven't really seen any widespread information until more recently and that's how I found out LATER in my life, when some damage was already done). Someone tell them please

I think masking would be minimum, they probably try a little bit but give up and decide they don’t care anymore (like I said, it’s possible that they’re older, so give them a break)

On the topic of not being aware of symptoms I headcanon Moon (or at least pre security breach one, maybe, idk) as the kind of autistic to have a hard time realizing he’s upsetting or genuinely scaring people. He’s being whimsical, but like, wouldn’t realize unless specifically told so. I don’t believe a potential nicer form of moon would be there to intentionally hurt people (i don’t like the idea of him being evil just BECAUSE) but i think he could still cause all kinds of distress by accident. I certainly don’t think he’s shy (and i believe Kellon Goff corrected himself in a later tweet and said Moon wasn’t exactly shy himself but he used a shy part of his life to bring Moon to life, if i remember correctly (correct me if i’m wrong bruh i don’t wanna misquote the man himself 😭)) Canon Moon probably isn’t shy but instead he gets to be fluent in being awkward in a conversation

I mean don’t get me wrong I adore the idea of shy moon but it’s most likely not going to be anything we see in canon. But in an au? Or in your own headcanon? Go crazy, make that man shy, be a little self indulgent. You’re not required to stick to canon to a tee.

I definitely think Sun and Moon would have clashing sensory needs. being opposites but also having a common root in an issue whether they want it to be there or not is like their whole thing. A lot of clashing except maybe the clicking they do. They fidget and click a LOT and the clicks are so pleasant to my brain so i think that could be maybe a similarity. As far as clashing sensory needs I think, y’know, if they were to be given separate bodies, because I actually really like that idea of seeing how their dynamic plays out that way (lots of fighting, so much fighting)... I DONT CARE IF IT MOST LIKELY WON’T BE A THING IN CANON BECAUSE OF THE DYNAMIC STEEL WOOL IS LEANING INTO SHSHHSHSHSH I CAN DREAM.

Anyways I think Moon would have sensory issues related to lights (duh) and sound (MAYBE sun for sound too, if he has less control of it. Just because he’s generally louder doesn’t mean he couldn’t have an issue with unwarranted sound. And if anything, in the daycare I think that would contribute to his burnout MORE.) thought i definitely think Moon would be more reactive to noise and lights considering he’s much less used to them (that doesn’t exactly dwindle sun’s ability to become overstimulated to a sound because he’s used to it, but he might have a much more subtle response to it after a while like the snappy behavior/burnout in hw2. While I imagine Moon for once having a much more obvious response. (kind of like how he reacts to the lights in ruin but probably only half as much)

I think they both reacted to overstimulation through getting snappy, so like in an au where they’re physically separated and they have clashing sensory needs that’s… an easy argument starter. Visibly doing some small behavior that screams irritation on Sun’s part. And moon probably stares at you, but angrily (you can’t tell because he doesn’t have fucking eyelids)

I think the movements they do in canon are some form of stimming. Like I mentioned before, I think they enjoy the clicking. Moon does the movements with his head and rotating his face a LOT. and i began associating it with stimming a while ago. As for negative stims when stressed and anxious. Their wires are exposed. There may not be evidence for it but maybe that’s something they mess with. Also, no evidence for this but I felt like there damage in ruin was both from the situation and themselves, can be taken as a more self destructive (kind of like how scratching/hair pulling can be considered stimming at times for humans) but most likely accidental form of this. Or more likely a stress habit and causing more damage from fighting for control (idk man I kind of lost myself on this one)

Also!! The staff bot parts in their room, and later in Ruin more parts from endos are present. I think they fidget with parts on occasion. This strays from autism related headcanons but Those parts being there in the first place i think is Moon’s doing, and based on his behavior in ruin along with similar cases recorded in security breach i take it as frustration/misguided anger. And eventually because those parts are yk, there after Moon did whatever it is he may have done, i wouldn’t be surprised if the stuff in their room is occasionally fidgeted with as a distraction. The only evidence I really have for this is that in Ruin those items are all sorted. Someone was doing something as a distraction.

There’s no way they would be flirted with in a roundabout way and immediately understand, you need to be DIRECT AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT!!!

I think Sun might easily misinterpret all kinds of things he's told, and be completely confident with his interpretation, while while recognize when he's a little unclear, decide it's probably not important if someone wasn't being clear, and then forget.

For whatever possible circumstance this would EVER come up I don’t think Moon would enjoy phone calls, nor would Sun but I think he likes yapping so he’d probably talk your ear off and then get really sidetracked. Moon would just respond with simple one word answers, or not all (me, i do that, i’m projecting) I don’t think Moon is shy in canon but i do headcanon he just, sucks at holding up a conversation (projecting again)

basically canon but hypo verbal Moon and hyper Verbal sun. (this gets a little too personal and realistic and a second) I just want to say that because it’s a trait associated with autism and instead of them just being considered too quiet or too loud, they are literally just being themselves. This also goes along with the idea where they wouldn’t realize they have autism, and just think whatever they’re doing is considered normal for everyone else so hey might recognize people think of them poorly but might not realize what someone has a stick up their ass about until someone is like “ermm you talk too much/too little 🙄” actually i definitely think they would get criticized on a daily basis for that. I have my own ideas about how they would react in an immediate situation vs over time after being told over and over again. And basically, I think Moon would kind of… NOT react at first but it would get to him later on and that’s when he goes completely quiet or makes sure to avoid people. I think Sun would react negatively on the dot (in one way or another) and stew in frustration for a bit, and sometimes it might come back to him on occasion.

A part of me wants to believe moon is capable of yapping but he spaces it out, like I think he’d randomly tell you a fact and then go quiet for a while. OR!!! OR!! He’d tell you a joke then wait for you to laugh as he stares at you intensely and silently.

I think Moon would mutter to himself a lot, but so quiet and muddled from an outside perspective it's completely incoherent. Sun too but a little easier to hear. Speak out loud in a quiet voice but still loud enough that still makes people briefly pause wandering if he’s speaking to them.

What if they were both heat sensitive… imagine getting to go outside (if they were part of Fallfest than maybe first time and years) but it’s during the summer, and they're both fatigued and miserable. I see a lot of people say sun would absolutely love summer, but considering if he is from Fallfest, and assuming they shut off animatronics when not in use, he’d realistically he might not even be used to summer at all. Then in this case it would actually be sort of an ironic situation where he grows to dislike summer heat.

okay ya'll I think it's done for NOW. I have a few I left out because they were half baked, or too vague for what I wanted to say so I may edit or add onto this in the future. a whole load of this ideas are also things I wanted to implement into my AU so!!

UGRHHHH IK I HAVE AUTISM BUT ITS NOT LIKE I EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING MENTIONED HERE SO I HOPE I DIDN'T MESS UP ANYTHING BUT LET ME KNOW!!

#awareness kind of?? I went real in depth for a few of these so this was also a practice for me to work on thinking about different behavior #that they would express realistically #I also like including a lot of the ones that aren't talked about as much because they're seen as “uglier” traits by a lot if it isn't silly #a huge issue I see with autism in media tbh is a lot of the time it isn't shown for what it is #it's either “the silly disorder” or it's some kind of virus to some people... *cough* autism speaks' “I am autism” ad *COUGH*#we don't like Autism speaks in this house #I didn't go as in depth for a few as I would have liked but hopefully this suffices for now #fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf hw2 #fnaf moon #fnaf sun #sun fnaf #moon fnaf #fnaf daycare attendant #dca fandom #five nights at freddys #fnaf dca #fnaf headcanons #autism #neurodiversity

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roseharpermaxwell · 1 year ago

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RWRB FirstPrince Roommates & Neighbors Recs - Part One

All the oblivious pining, cuddly bedsharing and forehead kisses your heart can handle. Click below for my faves!

thigh'm in love with you by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries. E, 1.8k. Henry has a date.

Alex knows, because for the last four months, his roommate’s choice in soundtrack as he primped and preened before a date has been extremely consistent, and there’s no way Good as Hell, All About That Bass, and Dancing Queen playing consecutively is a coincidence tonight.

too worried to be sleeping by viciouslyqueer. G, 2.7k. Just as he’s getting ready for bed, Alex hears something in the apartment next to his – it sounds like glass shattering on the floor. Then, the voice of a man, choked up, like he’s been crying.

and i don’t get much sleep most nights (i’m seeing you in every dream) by @autiespring. T, 2.9k. “Alex Claremont-Diaz can’t sleep.

He sighs heavily and clambers out of his bed, shoving his feet into his slippers and opening the door to his bedroom.

The thing is, insomnia isn’t new. He’s been like this all his life.

The ADHD diagnosis is newer.”

two nights where alex and henry can’t sleep and one where they can (a love letter to neurodivergence)

all's well that ends well to end up with you by karish. T, 3k. “Fuck, thank you, you’re a lifesaver, Hen,” he says as he closes the small distance between them and places a faint kiss on Henry’s lips.

His lips are soft and Alex melts into it for a second before pulling away. He bumps their noses together for good measure before stepping back and grabbing his bag from the chair. When he turns back to look at Henry, he’s still standing still, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. Alex can even see a dark flush starting to spread over his face. It looks cute. Alex wishes he could–

Oh.

Oh shit.

Fucking goddamn shit.

He just kissed Henry. Fuck.

So, Kiss Me by onesmoluke. M, 3k. Just a wholesome getting together fic

Alex is a poli-sci major and he's been in love with his roommate Henry for years. Things finally come to a head when Henry makes a slightly ridiculous request.

From the prompt: "Could you kiss me? I need it for writing purposes."

the conclusion literally any normal human being would come to. by @chaa-kiao. M, 3.2k. My [21M] flatmate [20M] gives me forehead kisses when he thinks I'm asleep. How do I ask him to do it when I'm awake, too?

Henry and Alex are roommates quarantined together. Henry takes to Reddit when Alex's behavior gets too confusing for him to sort out on his own. Surely this will have zero impact on their completely platonic relationship, right?

kiss me like you've got nowhere to be by @anincompletelist. M, 3.2k. In the three years they’ve lived together, he thinks it’s safe to say that he and Alex have gotten… close. The kind of close that other people like to point out sometimes when they’re in public, and not just their overinvolved older sisters and overly suggestive friends. A few of Alex’s colleagues have made comments when Henry shows up at the holiday parties or after a stressful work day to make sure Alex is eating and staying hydrated, just the same as Henry’s clients each know little bits of odd Alex-facts that he lets slip sometimes in his sessions.

Regardless, it’s all terribly domestic, and the twinge of satisfaction Henry gets when Alex’s dates don’t go well is most definitely not appropriate, even if they are kind of in a weird, probably mostly platonic, very codependent relationship. If he’s not careful, Henry’s going to get himself so, so hurt one of these days.

Mambo de la luna by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 3.4k. Fuck. God, this is so bad. It would be so much better if he just wanted Henry for the way he moves his hips and the fact that he has the flexibility of a double-jointed yoga instructor, but instead he just wants to… hold him??? Sure, fucking him would be a nice bonus, but the one thing he wants more than anything else is to be following Henry into that room and curling around him before they fall asleep.

Henry is a stripper, Alex is his roommate. The stripping part isn't the problem.

sacred new beginnings by Standinginmoonlight. NR, 3.4k. Alex Claremont-Diaz doesn’t get sick.

Or: Alex Claremont-Diaz gets sick and Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor looks after him.

only bought this dress (so you could take it off) by @coffeecatsme. E, 3.8k. “Take off your pants, show me your dick, and you’ll see. I’ll pleasantly admire it from afar, I can even offer a few compliments about the size if you want a boost to your ego—”

“I don’t need—”

“But,” Alex presses before Henry can continue, “I’m not going to touch you because, as I made it incredibly clear, I’m not gay. So.” He waves his hands in a gesture that he hopes conveys, go on. “Take off your pants.”

Or, Alex realizes some things about himself. Henry helps.

every constellation hiding in the sky of your body by coffeecatsme. T, 3.9k. He's straight. Alex is pretty sure he’s straight. Yet sometimes he catches Henry move around the room with just a towel wrapped around his waist, he glances over to find waves of blond fallen over his forehead, he meets those blue eyes and the shy smile Henry only saves for Alex and wonders.

Or, the one in which Alex is drunk and has a lot less impulse control when it comes to Henry.

In my dreams (In your dreams) by @lizzie-bennetdarcy. E, 3.9k. He opens his mouth to tell Alex it's fine, they can stay, when Alex shakes his head. "The room is spinning. That's not fun. Alright, sweetheart, let's go home." He jumps up from the stool, and immediately lists sideways into Henry. "What will it take to get you to carry me home?"

"More than you're prepared to give, I'm afraid." Kiss me, marry me, have my children, please.

Alex is very drunk, and very affectionate, and it's becoming increasingly difficult for Henry to pretend like he isn't completely in love with him.

Play Me a Song by @three-drink-amy. G, 4.1k. Every night, like clockwork, Alex's upstairs neighbor plays the piano for two hours, giving Alex the motivation to sit and do his own work so that he can listen. One night, he leaves a letter for his neighbor to thank him for the music. When his neighbor comes to his door to thank him for the note, he finds it's the same cute guy he's been running into in the lobby.

blackout by rizcriz. T, 4.3k. When the power goes out, Alex and Henry are sitting in their living room watching the latest fantasy show to hit Netflix. Alex has his feet in Henry’s lap, and his head pressed up against the side of the couch. One of Henry’s hands is burning a hole through the thin spread of Alex’s pajama pants where it’s resting on his shin. Everything goes out like a flash of lightning, but it takes a moment for it to really register that they’re left lying in the dark.

When it does, Alex sits up, the backs of his calves pressing into the firm weight of Henry’s thighs. He tries not to think about that, though, even as Henry’s hand tightens around his calf. The moon’s shining through the window, so it’s not like they’re blanketed in total darkness, but when Alex looks at Henry, and Henry looks at Alex, the shadows drifting over his face, it feels as if all the light has been sucked out of the world entirely.

Or, Alex and Henry have a conversation by candlelight.

your name has echoed through my mind (i just think you should know) by vibrantsaturn. T, 4.6k. Still in a frenzy, Alex grabs the thermos. Says, "thank you, baby. Fuck, I love you." He raises himself on his tip toes and presses a quick kiss on Henry's lips with a hand on the back of his neck and bolts with Pez in tow. Just before the door closes, he sees Henry standing there stunned, his fingers on his lips.

They take a few steps until Alex just. Stops. "Pez, did I just-"

"Tell Henry you love him? Kiss Henry without realising what you were doing? Yes," Pez says in a daze and Alex curses. Fuck, how is he going to face Henry now?

Alex realises he's in love with Henry after playing Fuck, Marry, Kill and he does not know how to deal with it.

It Was Never Home Until You Were There by earth_to_alex16. T, 5.1k. Henry and Alex are roommates that share a bed - Henry during the day and Alex at night.

How can a connection form when they've never met?

Or, The Flatshare AU that no one asked for.

Always Where I Need To Be by @cha-melodius. T, 5.4k. Alex doesn’t even know how he does it most of the time. He’ll take his glasses off for five minutes while he’s working to rest his eyes, and somehow David will snag them off the coffee table and run off with them. He doesn’t chew them, thank god, but the slobber is bad enough. Plus, there’s the fact that Alex has to go on a search to find whatever random place he’s managed to hide them.

Except… the places the glasses end up don’t seem to be exactly random.

(Alex's new roommate has a puppy with a penchant for theft—and, seemingly, strong opinions on where Alex needs to be.)

No Sense or Sensibility by @inexplicablymine. T, 5.5k. “When and where was your first kiss.”

Oh shit.

The thing is… Alex actually has an answer to this one, it’s just a matter of admitting that it happened.

Kennedy’s. 7pm, Pub Quiz and Ice Cream. Every Monday ‘til death due us part. Alex liked his little routine, until Derryl got it in his head to host The goddamn Newlywed Game instead.

Not So Silent Night by @inexplicablymine. T, 6.1k. Sure, Alex can admit in the deepest recesses of his mind, at two in the morning, when the Liszt is playing forlornly like some kind of bugle call for grief, that whoever the fuck lives next to him is on another level with the keys.

Alex has no idea who his piano playing neighbor is, but Alex knows one thing for certain… This means war.

Don’t Wanna Be A Fool For You by @myheartalivewrites. E, 6.2k. Henry had always known it would come to this, in the end. That his ridiculous, unrequited, life-destroying love for Alex would always break his heart. He’d chosen to indulge it, because, if he’s being honest with himself, pulling away from Alex at any stage in their friendship would have broken him. He could have brought it forward or put if off, but the end result had always been inevitable. So he’d chosen to delay it, for as long as possible.

But he’s always had an extraction plan in place for when it became too hard. A fake family emergency. Some last minute thing calling him to England, the details unimportant. A quickly packed suitcase and a note stuck to the fridge. He has a credit card and his passport lives in the top drawer of his bedside table, where he can get to it easily. He has an open invitation to stay at Pez’s place, or Bea’s.

Henry had always known the day would come.

Henry and Alex are roommates, Henry is in love and Alex is oblivious. And then, ONE DAY…

Dreams that Keep Me Up in the Dead of Night by earth_to_alex16. T, 6.3k. Alex gets a little too honest when he's tired.

Oxford Days by myheartalive. E, 6.3k. "Alex’s new roommate is kind of a slut.

No. Strike that. Not kind of. Definitely. Definitely a slut."

An ode to slutty Henry.

Hide and Sneak by clottedcreamfudge. E, 6.7k. Henry shouldn't be here; 'here' meaning the flat he shares with his friend and unrequited crush, Alex, who is irreversibly straight and likes to walk around in his boxers like some kind of sexy torture device.

Alex, unlike Henry, is meant to be here, and here is where he is.

On their sofa in the living room.

Jerking off.

Can be summed up by the line, "If we don't touch each other, it's probably not gay."

It's a (Birth)date by Celaestis. T, 6.9k. 5 times Henry is oblivious that they're dating and 1 time he isn't.

like coming home by Standinginmoonlight. M, 7.3k. Although he doesn’t know it yet, Alex is screwed from the second Henry signs off his email with ‘best wishes’ like a Dickens character.

Or: the one where Alex Claremont-Diaz has been in love with Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor all along.

craigslist cutie (please don't go) by matherine. M, 7.7k. Here’s the thing. Alex is simultaneously very, very smart and very, very stupid. Nora calls it the Claremont-Diaz Paradox, and every time she does, June sticks out her tongue like she’s about twelve years old, and then Nora makes a comment about what she would rather June be doing with her tongue, and – okay. Off track. Not relevant to Alex’s current predicament, which is perhaps the most damning example of the Claremont-Diaz Paradox. Alex got himself into NYU Law with flying colors and LSAT scores in the 99th percentile, worked his ass off for three years, and graduated with honors and a crippling caffeine addiction. And then, because he is an idiot, he decided to take his JD, his potential, and his mountain of student loans to his brand-new job as a public defender.

Unfortunately, being a public defender pays about as much as working at a Hot Topic. Which means that Alex really needs a roommate. Like, pronto. STAT. ASAP. He’s not sure who’s desperate enough to move into the other room in his beautiful, probably-not-bedbug-infested 700 square feet of Hell’s Kitchen, but he really fucking needs to find somebody.

Craigslist is a last resort, but it does bring him Henry.

am i homophobic? (URGENT) (PLEASE HELP) by holdinggrudges. E, 7.9k. Now, it might be pretty early in the morning and Alex’s brain functions might not be working as quickly as they normally do, but he can still put two and two together. There's a strange man in their kitchen. Henry is shirtless, rumpled, and holding two pairs of boxers. Henry and this Sam guy slept together. Which… obviously is fine because Alex is not an asshole, but he’s definitely feeling something about this development that he will examine at a later date. But of course, instead of saying something normal, you know, like a normal person would, he says, “Ohh.” Like a fucking weirdo.

or: the "am i homophobic?" roommate au that no one asked for

The Kids Are Alright by earth_to_alex16. T, 8.3k. Renovations at the LGBTQ shelter bring Henry's work into his flat with his roommate Alex.

Henry is good at his job and deeply in love with Alex.

Can he multitask?

like I do by @smc-27. E, 8.5k. They live together and work together and Henry cannot go more than a few hours without seeing Alex, and it should be a problem but it isn’t. Henry likes Alex, and when he puts it like that, he hears the part of his brain responsible for his rooting in reality begin to laugh. Hard. Like is certainly not the thing Henry feels. He’s ignoring it.

(He’s failing, but there’s an attempt.)

Obliviously Devoted by @uglygreenjacket. T, 9.3k. She looks at him in the way only June can. She's the only one he'll allow it from without a fight. "I don't know if you're ready to have this conversation or not."

His fork clatters to the plate in front of him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

June sighs a sigh of long-suffering and pinches the bridge of her nose, before she looks him dead in the eye and sets his world upside down. "You know you and Henry are dating, right?"

Alex gapes at her. Mouth hung open, eyes blown wide. "W-what?"

"I say this with all the love in the world," she says. "But sometimes, I swear, you are the most oblivious idiot on the face of the planet."

Am I the Asshole? By @everwitch-magiks. E, 9.5k. AITA for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of my boyfriend?

It’s well past midnight on a Saturday and hardly the first time Alex has scrolled aimlessly on his phone instead of trying to sleep, but it’s definitely the first goddamn time Alex has discovered his roommate has made a lengthy post about last night’s curry debacle to r/AmItheAsshole — a post that’s apparently gone fucking viral.

In which Alex and Henry are college roommates, and a few thousand strangers think they should fuck.

Baby, it's Cold Inside by Celaestis. E, 9.8k. When winter officially arrives on November seventh, it’s with a bang. Actually, the bang is due to the building’s ancient heating system failing in spectacular fashion. It coincides nicely with a cold front moving down from Nova Scotia which means New Yorkers of all stripes are suddenly getting their winter coats and hats out earlier than anticipated. It’s not usually a problem. But then their building usually has heat.

red lights (they burn us out like kerosene) by vibrantsaturn. T, 10k. "We could go anywhere," Alex says and he's not sure why he's whispering. All he knows is that this moment is going to monumental in their lives.

"Anywhere?" Henry asks, his voice low, and there's a trace of wonder in his voice.

"Anywhere," Alex confirms, a soft smile on his face.

or,

3 times when Alex takes Henry on a drive to get him out of his head over the years, and the one time Henry does.

It's Getting Hot in Here (So Hot!) by Celaestis. E, 10k. Henry’s firm and unwavering belief in Alex’s hetrosexuality does wonders for their relationship. He can coexist with Alex in the same lobby for entire half-minutes at a time while checking for post, he can make solid eye contact during glances in the hallway. Alex is still the most beautiful man he’s ever beheld, and maybe Henry’s hook-ups are tending towards the Latino types more than they ever did in the UK, but still. Alex is straight. Henry is fine about it. Really.

you turned a moment (into forever) by viciouslyqueer. M, 10k. Sharing an apartment with Alex had seemed like a good idea at first. They’re best friends, prices in Brooklyn are absurd, and they had both been in urgent need of residence – it only made sense.

Except for the small, tiny, teeny, barely there fact that Henry has been in love with Alex from the first moment he laid eyes on him. And the fact that Alex doesn’t know, and can never find out.

Or, as coffeecatsme so eloquently put it: Roommates AU where Alex has insomnia and slips into Henry’s bed every night because it’s the only way he gets a good night’s sleep.

How to say 'no' to Alex Claremont Diaz (is a book Henry definitely could not write) by TwinMoonSun842. T, 10k. What do you do when you are very gay and your best friend/roommate/secret crush Alex Claremont Diaz asks you to help him out by letting him put a few hickeys on your neck? What happens when you like that a little too much? How do you go back to denying that you're pining for him when know what his lips feel like on your skin?

These are questions Henry would very much like the answer to.

take me out, and take me home by weather_stained. T, 11k. They’ve only been living together for two months, since Alex moved to the city for law school. Henry's Brooklyn apartment was a short commute to NYU, and the price was unbeatable, so he agreed to move in without even meeting the man in person. He was nervous, at first, to share close quarters with a stranger, but it’s worked out shockingly well; Henry is kind and considerate, and they mostly leave each other alone.

He’s also quite obviously gorgeous, and Alex doesn’t know why there isn’t a string of men coming and going from Henry’s room at all times, or perhaps one steady man. Inexplicably, Henry seems to have been single since Alex moved in in August.

AKA:

5 times Alex doesn't realize Henry's in love with him, and 1 time he gets a clue.

Lay Me Down in Sheets of Linen by He_is_half_my_soul. E, 14k. Alex may hate Henry's guts but when he gets thrown out of his apartment in the middle of fucking winter and with no warning at all he offers to room with him until he finds another place to stay. He is not a total monster.

Pour Your (He)art Out by @athousandrooms. E, 17k. Sometimes, after particularly rough nights, Henry will switch his first Earl Grey of the day for a latte. Alex learns this a month into knowing him. That’s not the only shock of the discovery, though.

“Oh my god, how are you real? Who does casual latte art for themselves on a weekday? Before you had coffee?”

Apparently Henry used to be a barista. Alex pokes at him, tells him it looks easy.

Henry raises his eyebrows, mouth curved at the corners like it’s guarding a looming laugh. “Would you like to try?”

A challenge. Alex loves those.

Or, five times Alex makes questionable latte art for Henry, and one time they make it right together.

just a figure of speech by @congee4lunch. E, 17k. henry, an omega, hasn’t had good sex in a long time. as his alpha roommate and friend, alex can help with that. in a totally platonic bro way, of course.

Five-Drink Henry by @whimsymanaged. E, 18k. Henry’s mouth opens then closes. He can feel a flush creeping over his cheeks, but he does his best to ignore it and hopes Alex will too. “Oh. Hello. Sorry, I’m—hi. Thanks for inviting me.”

Alex’s smile only grows, and he steps back to let Henry in. “You’re the first one here. Lucky me. Come on, I’m getting some margaritas going.”

Or, Henry’s new neighbour is a party-throwing, margarita-making menace, and Henry’s helpless against his charms.

What If (We Were Roommates) by Krissielee. M, 35k. "HOUSE/PET SITTER WANTED"

Alex never expected this when he replied to that ad.

(Alternative summary: Oh my GOD they were roommates)

Speak for Yourself by @welcometololaland. E, 106k. Alex could have walked out of the Williamsburg apartment at any time. Instead, he decides to sign up to twelve months of Henry.

Alex makes a rash decision and Henry inexplicably runs with it.

(The "accidental housemates" AU that literally no-one asked for).

(Art by @stardisnight - chapters 7 and 12)

I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!

RWRB FirstPrince Roommates & Neighbors Recs - Part Two

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

#firstprince #rwrb fic recs #rwrb #alex x henry #red white & royal blue

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sdv-confessions · 1 month ago

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@ anti-autistic-diagnosis anon: while I think I understand what you’re saying (which, I think, is “autism is a real thing that real people have and can cause real problems, so projecting that onto fictional characters willy-nilly without supposed reasoning, like characters always displaying behaviours that are consistent with autism” but I may be misunderstanding so I apologize) the thing is, at the end of the day, headcanons, stories, art, etc. doesn’t actually hurt anyone in real life.

When I was a teenager I would have loved to see/read headcanons about my favourite characters sharing problems similar to me (I have depression, generalized anxiety, and social anxiety). It would have made my world! And honestly it would have made me feel less alone with my thoughts. It’s why I really like it when fictional characters in media are shown to have anxiety or depression and it’s treated seriously (and with care and love), like with Shane. But more often than not we don’t get fictional characters with mental illnesses who are treated with love, care, and all the seriousness these topics should get (think, for example, when was the last time you saw OCD being treated more than a joke, when autism wasn’t played as the “super genius who takes everything literally” stereotype, when anxiety wasn’t treated as the “oh they’re just a nervous Nelly” or “overly concerned mother whose worries are treated as a joke by both other characters in the show and the audience”, when ADHD was more than the loud kid who can’t sit still).

Which is why I really think sharing headcanons is great! Sometimes that’s the only way for you (or others!) to demonstrate that love and care. Because you (or others) can see a character you relate to, who maybe shows some of the same behaviour you do, and go “yes this character is like me and has X”. It kind of makes the character feel more personal to you.

Sometimes you just get hit with “this character has X because I say so” too. Other times it’s spite for the haters of a character that makes a person go “this character has X and no matter what you do, you can’t change it”. And sometimes it’s just the vice of a character that makes a person go “yeah they have X”.

#sdv confessions #fandom discourse #long post

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bleue-flora · 1 month ago

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Okay like- Hi.

This isn't an ask, I just came here to say thank you real quick, don't even know how much you've helped me. I met this blog through your reflections on Dream's autism and it's stand in the drama just today.

I'm not autistic myself, I didn't have an official diagnosis and I don't want to do it by myself, at least. But one thing I know is that I relate to Dream a lot on that regard. Like his over explaining, the reasoning behind his actions (which made sense to me, because I've been in similar situations), and his confusion to most of it. And for so long, I thought that thought process was caused by a flaw in me. I felt like my incapableness to understand when and where things are okay was because I was just dumb like that. And following the Dream drama, seeing people use his confusion as a means of writing him as the "bad guy," seeing people talk about how Dream should've knows the obvious, it certainly didn't help my view of myself.

But, ver luckily I might add, you blogs were something I saw. And, by God, did it help. It's refreshing to see people acknowledge that some people just struggle with "basic tasks" and that it's normal and should be treated with efforts to be understanding.

It's refreshing, and I want to thank you for it. Please take care. <3

You’re so welcome, I’m really glad it had helped. It’s so damaging to feel like you are insufficient or something is wrong with you and see the internet label someone as this terrible person for the very same things you struggle with. As if your behavior as an autistic person or someone with ADHD or someone just doing their best is somehow inherently evil. I’m so glad you found me and were able to hear my words and know that this is not the case. It breaks my heart to know so many people are out there who don’t know who are struggling and being hurt by all of this.

(Thought some hugging woofs would be fitting ;) <3)

Oh and uh if you ever do want to talk more about adhd and autism, I’m down. While I think official diagnosis is important, especially as recent trends tend to misrepresent mental illness and disorders causing people to claim things that aren’t true or reduce things like autism to being quirky…etc, I do also know that that’s not an option for a lot of people whether that’s because of where you live or access s to things or your family’s support or age…etc. So I get that that isn’t always applicable but that doesn’t make someone’s struggle any less real so I do support self diagnosis if you ever wanted to dive further into it, but also respect if you don’t. <3

#hello there #okay I’m flashing asleep but I already forgot to answer this earlier so before it gets lost on my drafts again I gotta post #it makes me really happy to know that I’ve helped you feel at least a little bit better <3 <3.#hope you’re doing okay :) <3

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ira-407 · 10 months ago

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What is Aspie Supremacy, Actually?

A lot of people know what aspie supremacy is, but don’t seem to actually know what it means. For one, its origins can be traced back to Mel Baggs. It’s possible someone else used the term before sie did, but the framework for it that people are most familiar with originated with hir. Mel also coined autistic supremacy before that. They’re not necessarily one in the same, but I don’t think it’s bad to use them interchangeably, especially since one is often accompanied by the other anyway. It's a similar idea to the disability hierarchy and "My Mind is Fine" doctrine that preceded it, and is directly related to these things.

Autistic Supremacy is an autistic person acting like or outright stating they’re superior to non-autistic people. This often comes in the form of what was called “NT-bashing” in the usenet days. I personally don’t see it as different enough from Aspie Supremacy for the distinction to really matter, but it was something Mel came up with before Aspie Supremacy and is linked to it. Someone is an autistic supremacist when they make a space that is only for autistic people and they don’t even allow cousins in. Autistic spaces are important, but I think what makes a space autistic space vs. not one is who is in the majority, and moreover, who is in control. So I don’t care so much if it’s all autistic or not. I feel like that mindset does more damage than it helps. “By and for autistic people” doesn’t need to mean “autistics only, sorry”. It’s part of what made the Facebook group Just Us Autistics so bad. Anyway.

Aspie Supremacy is autistic people acting superior to other autistic people. This was much more blatant when Mel devised the term but is absolutely still a thing. It runs a lot deeper than I think most people are willing to admit-or, to be more specific, the people who are perpetrating it. As much as I’ve mentioned Mel already, I don’t think the definition of Aspie Supremacy is beholden to Mel and Mel alone, and I don’t think sie would think so either. Based on what I’ve observed, I think the examples I’m about to give are very much things Mel would have agreed qualify as Aspie Supremacy regardless. Aspie Supremacy isn’t simply when someone declares themself an aspie or when a person clings onto the Asperger’s diagnosis despite its extinction. Sure, that counts as it, and many people who do that also do other things, but that’s just the most apparent form of Aspie Supremacy. There are more covert examples that I argue are more insidious, and are done by people who would be very quick to denounce Asperger’s, but only because the person it’s named after was a nazi and for no other reason.

Examples of Aspie Supremacy:

Failing to mention anything related to disability in your advocacy-ergo, talking about autism as its own thing or solely as a cultural identity

Moreover, failing to contextualize autism within the scope of the broader disability community and rights movement. MAYBE saying something about ADHD but that’s it.

Doubly so if you ignore the I/DD-led Self-Advocacy Movement

Not centering people with I/DD in your advocacy at all

If you do mention people with I/DD, it’s brief and basically an afterthought. Perhaps as a statistic or vague example of something.

Separating autism as its own thing from the rest of the neurodivergent umbrella

Saying you “stand with nonspeakers” and do nothing to actually engage with them beyond sharing their stuff on social media

Saying you “stand with nonspeakers” only to say very stigmatizing things about them

When being called out for this, you don’t listen and perhaps try to argue that you’re actually right. Bonus points if the person you’re arguing with has I/DD and/or is nonspeaking.

Tokenize nonspeakers and silo them into their own special subclass of the autistic population

Use “Medium/High Support Needs” as a stand-in for “low functioning”

Assert that you are nothing like people you deem to have higher support needs

Using your autism as an excuse for racism and calling people ableist for rightfully criticizing your behavior because “[the racism] is one of my autism symptoms”

Wanting more autism subtypes to be officially recognized like AuDHD or PDA

On that note, using PDA as an excuse for shitty behavior, ESPECIALLY if you consider it a “pervasive drive for autonomy”

Trying to rebrand PDA as a “pervasive drive for autonomy”

Your advocacy being highly academic and intellectual-sounding with no effort in making it sound more accessible

On that note, not engaging in the actual community that is outside of academia's ivory tower, unless it's for academic research

Being against the idea of autism or ADHD being considered a disorder

Caring significantly about the distinction between “disorder” and “disability”

Forcing people to exclusively use identity-first language and not even considering person-first language’s origins

Talking about the social model of disability in the misunderstood concept of “people are only disabled by societal barriers”, denying the existence of disability that comes from personal impairments at all

Supporting the removal of autism and maybe ADHD from the DSM but only those because they’re “identities”

Thinking that autistic people are direct descendants of neanderthals

Armchair diagnosing people with mental illnesses just because they don’t do things you like

Denying the legitimacy of someone because they use FC, RPM, or a similar method to form words

Saying things like "that's not autism or intellectual disability it's apraxia" or some other form of that statement

There are definitely more but these are all of the examples I could readily think of. All of which I have observed from other people. So as you can see, these are things that are actually quite common in autistic spaces. Really, most of these are signs of being a generally indecent person. It’s pretty damning how many people I know do this, and to be clear, they aren’t people I like. At this point, I have zero tolerance for Aspie Supremacy. It’s one thing to still be in the learning process and having a commitment to doing as good by certain people as possible, but it’s another thing to do the stuff I listed above *and be proud of it*. As for one particular example, I will say there’s nuance to saying you’re not like another person and some truth to it. Where I take issue is when you do this with another autistic person in a way where you’re saying you don’t even have the same disability as them, especially if you’re saying they don’t deserve the same rights and basic respect as you do. That autistic person who doesn’t speak and has an intellectual disability is likely more like you than you think, and to deny those similarities is wrong and exclusionary.

TL;DR Aspie Supremacy sucks. It’s something people need to check within themselves. It’s also a lot more prevalent than one may think, and denouncing the specific labels of aspie and Asperger’s does not recuse oneself from it.

#neurodiversity #autism #disability rights #disability #ActuallyAutistic #Aspie #aspie supremacy #PDA #AuDHD #Disability hierarchy

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josnhoes · 2 years ago

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Hey, could I possibly get a how Dick Grayson and Bruce wayne would deal with having an adult 30 year old s/o who has autism, but the men don’t know about the autism until the men either figure it out themselves or date number 5 is when s/o tells them cuz they don’t just going around telling people about their autism. S/o at first masks themselves very well, but as you get to know them they have these quirks. Like s/o takes an intense interest in their men’s day or hobby or intensely helps out when they’re in trouble. Theyre excitedly talk to their men about their own interests. Gets stressed easily and can’t sleep until they’re not stressed. Finds it hard to understand new topics no matter how many times it is explained to them until it is explained in a way that isn’t normal, but once they understand it, they’re really good at it, except for the concept of being rich with all that money, still can’t wrap their head around how Bruce deals with all that money and all the meetings that go along with it. Finds it hard to express emotions unless it’s intensely happy or intensely hurt. Very blunt, like Batman says he works alone and date waits until other people are gone before saying “but you just worked with the police 10 minutes ago”

Batman and his family are all Autistic to varying degrees except Alfred who is the token nuerotypical, and I will die on this hill. Look at them and their behaviors and *tell me* they aren't autistic. I *dare* you.

GN reader

Content warning: none

Bruce, despite his himbo persona, he put on struggled with people and connecting to them. His family was an exception. He at times struggled with sarcasm and had some blunders but that was publicly chalked up to silly Brucie Wayne the himbo. His diagnosis was kept secret, being famous made that hard to accomplish, but he'd managed to keep it hidden; for him and his family.

Still he was surprised when he clicked so well with you. He found your blunt honesty charming, he appreciated the way you honestly cared about his day. It was nice to have someone outside the family who cared for him and not his fame or money. Though you didn't seem to comprehend how much money he had when you insisted on paying your part of the dates. If he snuck the money back on you somehow, well you'd never know. Spoiler alert you did but you appreciated the gesture.

Then on one of your dates you came clean; and how you clicked made sense! You guys both had autism. Sadly he couldn't tell you his own diagnosis yet. Forgive him for being so cautious, but he worried about the public opinion. Maybe he was a coward, but it was rooted in paranoia.

He knew there was nothing wrong with being autistic, he just also knew the bigots were a major issue and with his nightlife and CEO work he didn't really have time to deal with the bigots and media storm. But if you both lasted longer then a few months he'd tell you.

He supports you completely. Every hobby, Fandom, and hyperfixation he tries out with you. And even if he isn't a fan he happily listens to you talk about it finding the way you light up attractive.

You quickly become *his* person just as he became your's; a fact obvious to everyone.

Dick was the most functioning of the family. Everyone was functional but Dick was able to push through some things. Like the various sensory issues. He also was pretty good at reading social situations. Though he attributed that to his time with his Bio parents. It wasn't always easy for him, when he was younger he was much more prone to outbursts.

He maybe seen as the golden child now, but as far as Robins went *he* had been the one to give Bruce the most gray hairs. Though no one believes it when they hear it. That being said he is one of the few members of the family that is pretty open with his diagnoses. He wants to be a pillar for the autistic and adhd community in Gotham.

So when he met you, he pretty much pegged you as autistic. You had been in the area of hit and run, and as a witness, you had to give a statement. Being the friendliest of the force, he'd been chosen to talk to you. You were point blank and despite the situation you were calm and almost unbothered. Which he asked about and when you said you had trouble emoting he knew right away. He sends you off with his personal number incase you need help or remember something more.

From there, a friendship grew. That being said, this man was a mother hen. Always trying to help you with every little thing, including your sleep issues. He backs off some if you tell him it's too much, but he does explain it's how he shows he cares; and it's not because he doesn't think you can do things for yourself. He remembers the bitterness he felt when his cop coworkers found out about his autism when he first started, and they had both babied him and tried to get him off the force.

From friendship come a romance eventually. He was the one to make the first move. He made a meal for you both to share in his apartment. He picked a couple of movies, each a comfort film for both of you, and made the night special even if it was simple.

#batfam x reader #romantic batfam #batman x reader #dc x reader

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profrozenraspberry · 1 month ago

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Reflecting on my journals from adolescence as a late-diagnosed adhd/undiagnosed autistic adult

I just read through 6 of my journals/sketchbooks ranging from the end of 8th grade to my first year in college. Here are a couple things I found from the lens of late diagnosed adhd/undiagnosed autism:

Many parts were extremely painful and very heavy to read (I knew this would be the case so I’ve avoided reading them for weeks). To read those words a child should never know and to feel the pressure marks of my pen in the paper… I forgot how much I truly suffered every second of every day when I was so little and just trying so hard to exist and be left alone in a traumatic environment. In this specific journal, the one with the most turmoil, there were many pages ripped out which I wish I hadn’t but I believe I did that at some point to keep myself safe because maybe they were too much to bear. That’s okay.

There were also parts that were so witty and random/cryptic where I wanted more context but it also made perfect sense to me without because I wrote it!! I laughed and cried so much. I remembered things I’d completely forgotten and was really shocked at some things.

There were many drawings depicting me being isolated from everyone else. In one I was in fetal position, trapped in a bubble while everyone in the background provokes me and name-calls me from the outside. There’s also another me standing right outside the bubble, empathetic, trying desperately to connect with that suppressed version of me. I did 2 drawings using circles. One with a big circle filling the page with a tiny black dot outside of that circle with an arrow pointing to it saying “this is me.” The second one was similar but the black dot was at the center of the circle, labeled “black hole.” There was also a drawing of a blank-faced person standing behind a crying angel captioned “stop being someone else for the sake of others.”

I also saw my handwriting change very drastically from entry to entry and over time, sometimes writing in a cursive-print combination (how I write now) only print, only cursive and then different styles within those. Sometimes the writing reflecting how tired or distressed I was feeling so it was nearly illegible.

I was so surprised to see some of the same exact words and language I use to explain my reality now in these journals. It was actually a little scary to see how consistent I’ve been in my efforts to explain myself and my suffering to others because I’ve always had the language despite what others would say. It’s just that no one was willing to listen. Throughout my entries I used the words burnout, trapped, overwhelm, exhaustion, I spoke of wanting to be understood and believed, I pondered so much about who I really am/who I’m meant to be, that I am surviving rather than living, and that I’m wasting my life. The parallels are beyond obvious.

The most visceral thing, though, was turning to a page in pink ink. This was the only entry in colored ink in all the journals and it was pink. A color I didn’t care for much back then, but is my favorite color now and the way I see my aura. I also have pink hair. I turn to the page, and I see pink words that say “Sometimes I feel like an imposter mimicking the activities and routines meant for normal people. I do not think I’m supposed to do the things I’m expected to do…. I don’t feel in control and I desperately need to be. I guess I’m just not meant for this earth; I belong to another star…another dimension.” Right there on the page. I am late diagnosed adhd (~8 months ago), and after unmasking it, I discovered my undiagnosed autism. There is no clearer picture to me.

I have raw data. Patterns, context, history! I gave myself the gift of history. The greatest gift I’ve ever received. This is so helpful to me in my journey towards unmasking and understanding who I really am. And should I consider assessment & diagnosis in the future, I now have this resource.

The picture of me is becoming clearer. I am so grateful to have written and kept these for myself. Shoutout to my mom for housing them in my childhood bedroom all these years.

If you’ve considered reading old writings from your younger self, make sure you’re in a safe environment and headspace to take in the information. I wish I had written a little more but I’m grateful for what I have. All I can do now is keep writing and keep record of my words. I plan on scanning everything in digitally and adding it to my personal archive.

Thank you for reading.

#audhd #journaling #words #about #autism #and #adhd

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gaytruffonis · 10 months ago

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TLDR: My biggest frustration being a late-diagnosed autistic is getting my brain to re-frame any of my behaviors. I’m having trouble figuring out how to help myself.

I was abused growing up, including some medical abuse, but my mom knew I had ADHD and lied to me and convinced me I didn’t. She never got a diagnosis but would ask me questions like “What are you, autistic?” I didn’t really understand what either of these terms meant back in 2012 when I was 13/14. So of course I said no, not even realizing until later that this was a rhetorical question (I am sighing so hard rn).

Fast forward to now, me age 26, being recently diagnosed as a person with ADHD and Autism. I spent my entire life up until now masking but even that feels like a weird word to use because it was never intentional. If I had needs not being met, I would find a way to get them met without talking to anyone or I would ignore them/push them away so that I “didnt have” that need anymore. In social situations, I made a lot of mistakes and found myself being very confused…so I would avoid being social altogether, or I would drill myself relentlessly before and after any social situation…and I mean any social situation. I remember people always criticizing me for “taking the long way” or not taking the most efficient route, but for me the “most efficient” route has never given me the results I wanted. It felt like I was a robot who had to constantly tinker with my own parts, with the goal being that one day I would be able to exist with other people naturally the way they do with each other. Not a robot, a person.

It’s very difficult to wrap my head around this not being a plausible goal anymore. I spent so long doing what was more difficult to mask symptoms I didn’t know I was masking. I spent my entire life operating under the belief that everybody was trying as hard as me to deal with sensory and socialization and all that jazz, it’s just that I was too weak to do it as well as they did. And it didn’t matter because I was doomed to fail.

I’m really working hard to not have such negative beliefs about being neurodivergent but it’s difficult bc in my brain I always hoped that one day I would just suddenly flip a switch and things would be easier. I would understand people and they would understand me. I wouldn’t spend weeks (if not months) obsessing over one singular topic. When I look back on moments where the autism was probably showing, I have all these memories of my parents calling me aggressive/angsty/spoiled/stupid/lazy/sensitive/etc. My stepdad would always say “You can’t be that stupid” and in my head, I would say “Well I guess I fucking am.”

All this to say, I have a lot of trouble now even recognizing when I’m doing a form of “masking” because it is so ingrained in me, and had I not done it, I would have faced worse abuse than I already had been facing. It took me until I was 24 to realize I was wearing a size too small in shoes because I believed a level of discomfort was just always a part of life, for EVERYONE not just me. I recently realized that I am not capable of crying in front of other people, even people I care about and trust, because when I used to cry people would find my reasoning trivial or tell me that I was too sensitive and they would (and I wish I was kidding) laugh or make fun of me. That is a silly thing to make fun of someone for, I know now, but I’m not sure how to change the behavior. I find day after day that there are a million things I’ve been overcompensating for or putting up with that I thought was normal or I thought I needed to do to keep up with everyone else (no wonder I feel so tired all the fucking time damn).

All this to say, I’m not even exactly sure what autistic symptoms I have or how to tackle them or even really how masking works entirely. I feel like I don’t know anything about myself. I don’t know how to help myself. Where do I even start? People keep throwing this “high-functioning” term at me, which I guess is fair, but I also feel like my bones ache at all times and I have constant rapid-fire anxious thoughts filling up my brain and I constantly feel like everyone on the earth is touching me and crowding me, even when I’m alone in my room. So I guess if I can keep pushing myself through those feelings, I’ll be fine and functioning fine but I don’t really think I can do that anymore.

Any advice or reading material would be greatly appreciated. Sorry if I didn’t explain things well. I’m trying my best out here

#autism #neurodivergent #late diagnosed autistic #audhd #actually autistic #autistic adult #idk man

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southpawaryn · 1 year ago

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I had something happen last week that made me pretty angry. I have a 5yo spawn who has EXTREME symptoms of ADHD, specifically when it comes to impulse control. It’s caused many sleepless nights because of how many safety issues went into that. I have been trying for two years to get her help because I’m not equipped to help her.

I was brushed off as wanting to medicated her to not deal with it by the one professional that agreed to see a child that young. Everywhere else said “Not before 6 years old”. Well, she started school. Within a week, the school wanted to set her up with a 504 after I explained how no one would see her until she was 6.

I thought, maybe I can get her in early given her struggles in school. I call every pediatric neurologist, psychiatrist , developmental care facility, or anyone that could finally diagnose her and start the road to help her. The few that did diagnosis has MASSIVE waiting lists. I finally called my insurance company to see if I could take her out of state for this!

Well, this past Friday, I got a call from the school counselor who told me that my spawn “said something alarming in class”. It related to me being transgender and was far less alarming with that context. Well, I started talking to him about my struggles getting her help and the school partners with a medical group that can get the diagnosis for her! I was sent all the paperwork to get things going that day.

I am so angry that it took my spawn blurring out “something about one of her parents cutting off their boobs” to get her help. I don’t know how she heard that as I don’t discuss anything about my transition around her but I’m definitely going to be more careful in the future regarding that. Even if she’s totally cool with “mommy is a man”, she’s too young to understand the specifics of what that means.

We need better mental help support in America is the point, I guess. It’s been an uphill battle every step of the way and I’m tired. Every medical professional I’ve taken her to, who sadly can’t make official diagnosis, has stated she displayed significant ADHD traits.

I apologize for the rant. I guess I just wanted it off my chest. Don’t expect too much about my spawn in the future. I don’t like discussing her on social media.

#adhd struggles #adhd problems #living with adhd #actually adhd #neurodiverse stuff #neurodiversity #actually neurodiverse #transgender #queer #transmasc

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devilsskettle · 3 months ago

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okay can i say something. it is actually very troubling to me that adhd is considered a “trendy” diagnosis, people were saying it was over-diagnosed when i was a child (including doctors which was why i was never assessed as a child despite my parents and multiple teachers having concerns that i showed symptoms but w/e) but now it’s only gotten worse with how it’s talked about on the internet and i think on one hand it’s this boogeyman threat that all kinds of kids are self diagnosing just out of like some kind of ego or clout thing or as an excuse to be lazy which i actually don’t think is what’s happening but also i do think a lot of people are pathologizing behaviors that are within the spectrum of “normal” neurotypical behavior and attributing them to autism or adhd (and not even distinguishing between autism or adhd anymore? like it’s one thing to apply an umbrella term of neurodivergence but what is an “audhd” trait like i feel like i understand where that idea came from wrt solidarity among people with overlapping symptoms or people who are diagnosed with both but it has gotten out of hand i believe. i can hardly find anything in internet spaces about adhd specifically, it’s all about general neurodivergence or actually just autism even though it’s being tagged as #adhd for exposure like???? that’s not helpful lmao and don’t even get me started on casually using “the tism” as a way to describe AGAIN just basically normal neurotypical behaviors that people find cringe arbitrarily or like. having interests lol). but anyway it’s again like the same thing that happened with depression and anxiety, people were trying to actually make progress and destigmatize those disorders so that people could have better access to treatment and not feel ashamed for something they can’t control about how their brain works but then people decided it made you more interesting so then a lot of people say they have mental health issues (and many do! i don’t want to invalidate anyone’s experience but i also have to recognize that being depressed and/or anxious WAS something that people propped up for clout or something idk) but then there’s still so much judgment for severe symptoms and how it affects people’s lives like as soon as you say it’s hard to take care of yourself, it’s hard to shower and brush your teeth, it’s hard to do anything because it’s hard to care about anything, it’s like nooooo you’re just not trying hard enough! i’m depressed and i get up at 5 am every day and do a 3 hour workout, shower, and eat a full breakfast, pack a full lunch, go to my 9-5, come home and read an entire book and cook a whole dinner and wash all the dishes and do laundry, then go to bed at 8 pm! if i can do it so can you!! actually you just need to buy the right products so you can be happy because that’s what all the health wellness fitness influencers are selling these days. anyway i think now we’re all bored of depression and anxiety because those aren’t they “actually bad” mental illnesses, those are the mental illnesses that everybody already has so you can’t get clout or sell anything to people anymore based on a mood disorder, you have to have a personality disorder or be neurodivergent to REALLY be suffering and therefore interesting (btw if being depressed or anxious affects your life in any way we will beat you to death with hammers). and it sucks because the things they tell you when they decide you don’t have adhd when you think you probably have adhd are TRUE like everybody finds some things difficult and tedious, everybody runs a little behind schedule sometimes, everybody struggles to keep up on their responsibilities, but we all have to do what we’re supposed to do because we’re adults and excuses aren’t gonna cut it anymore. but when you go but wait i think my inability to do certain things is really holding me back in my life and everyone else seems to be able to do these things (even if they “don’t want to do them” they still can do them with far less effort than it seems to take me?) they go hahaha you stupid little girl,

(character limit paragraph break) you’re actually just stupid and lazy and also so very stupid for thinking you have some magical special thing wrong with your brain that makes you bad at things, you just need to try harder like hmmmm where have i heard that one before. oh yeah when i was ripping up my legs every night of my teenage life because i wanted to kill myself without having to kill myself and nobody cared that i was sad because everyone was sad and everyone wanted to kill themselves how dare you want anyone to give a shit don’t you know that they’re more sad than you? it’s not a competition though don’t invalidate anyone else’s feelings!! until you finally have to admit what’s happening and go to a doctor and when antidepressants aren’t helping like you need them to it’s just why don’t you get a job! why don’t you have a job yet! i’m obviously the only person in the whole world who has told you that you need to get a job, i’m very smart i’m a doctor and i diagnose you with not trying hard enough. you’re depressed because you don’t have routine, all those years of your life when you were depressed within the structure of school were a fluke, lack of routine is actually the problem. yeah i’m sooo sure. anyway i guess i just feel like it’s so obvious to me that i have been depressed, it’s so obvious to me that i have adhd, i have a family history of it, i have a personal history throughout my childhood of adults recognizing symptoms, i am experiencing real concrete symptoms with real concrete consequences, i am so scared that i will not be able to have a good or even just livable life if i can’t get this under control, but i’m so EMBARRASSED that i might be “self diagnosing” and i’m wrong and i’m trying to make myself feel more special or give myself an excuse to be a fuck up and i’m just another dumb gen z girl falling for all the terminally online misinformation bullshit, and even if i’m not, other people will see me that way including doctors who i have had bad experiences with already about being very unkind and dismissive wrt my mental health concerns. IF they don’t see me as a drug seeker first which to be fair i don’t think i would give that impression upfront but i have had a history of substance abuse that might not look good if they knew about that and a big part of why i’d want to be diagnosed is so that i could be medicated but you can’t actually say that because then they think you just want to get high. i’m done with my pill popping phase i promise!!! but if i’m not being medicated then that means i will just have to brute force my way through my symptoms until i burn out again which is what i do anyway.

and the other thing is whenever i tell people i feel like this they’re always just like nooooo i don’t think so. i don’t get that vibe from you. like okay thank you doctor for that astute observation that i don’t have the “vibe” of an actual disorder. is it perhaps because i am quiet and soft spoken? is it because i try really really hard not to show any unpalatable emotions in public and lie constantly to make it seem like i have my shit together? is it because i spend all my energy on the things that other people can see and judge while my own space at home and personal responsibilities constantly fall to the wayside? is it because i seem smart and you think people with adhd are dumb? i actually feel dumb, really fucking dumb, all the time, and despite people telling me that i “seem smart” they treat me like i’m fucking dumb anyway so what is the truth.

anyway this isn’t anything i haven’t felt for years and years but every time i am facing the real possibility of failure, every time i am scrambling for a solution to a situation i put myself in again, every time i miss out on chances to do something fun or just take a break from all the work and all the busyness of my life rn because i still have work that i need to do that should’ve been done already, it all comes back up because i can’t decide if it really is just my fault and i’m fucking stupid and lazy and evil, or if there actually is something wrong with my brain and i could get help for it and not everyone feels this way so someday i might not have to either or at least i can understand why i do, or a combination of both like yeah it’s my fault but i shouldn’t feel as bad about it as i do because there is actually something wrong with me also and i just have to work a little bit harder than other people. but it’s hard when it’s like. do i actually have to work harder than other people or do i just want an excuse for not doing better? but also like my mom was very successful in her life without being diagnosed with adhd until she was in her 60s so regardless of whether or not i also have adhd, i really am a lazy piece of shit because i can’t do what she did. but. also. i’m bad at school that doesn’t necessarily mean i’m bad at everything in the whole world. sigh idk idk maybe before my last semester starts i can get evaluated? but it’s embarrassinggggg like if i do have adhd then i have to do something about it and that’s its own can of worms especially since there’s medication shortages and all of that but if i don’t have adhd then i’m just stupid and lazy and WRONG like damn i really don’t want to be told that i’m wrong but if i’m so attached to the idea of having adhd then how can i know that i’m thinking about it clearly without bias? i’ve gone back and forth about this so many times though like at some point i need to do something about it. but anyway i think it’s a really unfortunate time in our culture to be thinking about trying to address suspecting that you have adhd when people are so predisposed to thinking you’re faking it or delusional or too online or something. like i can’t even imagine going to get evaluated without upfront having to tell the doctor hey. i don’t trust you. i think you’re going to fuck me over. i feel defensive because i feel like you’re going to judge me or dismiss me completely but i’m going to be 100% honest with you about my experiences hoping that i’m wrong about you. i want to believe that you want to help me, i want to believe you have no external motivations other than trying to figure out what’s going on with me, your patient, as an individual, not as part of some kind of internet trend, but as someone who is facing challenges and wants to find the tools to address them. and i really really really want that to be the case for real if i spend all kinds of time and energy to get into an evaluation i want it to have some payoff in my life even if they have to point me in a different direction

and before you ask YES i’m procrastinating something right now, YES i’m actually procrastinating multiple things, YES some of those things are pretty important and may have real consequences in my life, but YES i am sitting here writing this stupid post instead. and YES when i am done writing this, the shame of wasting so much time writing this will probably shame my brain into focusing on something that i need to get done but YES i need to completely finish this thought before i can do anything else. yes i am deeply embarrassed that this is how my brain works but this is literally why i think i have adhd i’m not trying to get out of doing this because i have adhd i’m not gonna be telling my professor or anybody that my shit is late again because i have adhd because for all intents and purposes on paper i do not have adhd and i would not be trying to wriggle out of this assignment anyway but alas i do think there’s an explanation for why this pattern exists in my life but again i’m not telling anybody but the void maybe someday i can look back at these vent posts and know that i’m not actually crazy or stupid but then again crazy and stupid people typically don’t think they’re crazy or stupid either, right? whatever maybe i should just give up. quit school quit my job stop talking to my family live off the grid and die without ever having to think about this stupid shit ever again

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i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away · 8 months ago

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I think. Words like gaslight and lobotomy and neurospicy should never have even made it online at this point. (Hyperbole) One TikTok musician wrote a song. Titled Neurospicy and it's so. Bad.

Im gonna break down why the song is bad. This is for education. Also bc im a little piss baby and I love complaing. Do not go harass her.

Disclaimers:

I am just a Tumblr user.

My opinions are whay they are because :

I am self diagnosed autistic. I did years of research. Many autistic people said "you are definitely autistic" If I don't have autism, I know I am at least neurodivergent. I know a lot about Neurodivergency from loved experience, mine and my (diagnosed ) friends. I read a lot of discourse on disabilities.

I cannot find confirmation if the creator is claiming to be neurodivergent or has a doctor or self diagnosis. I hate this song so much I really don't care if she does to be honest. Don't harass her tho.

This song is very obviously using neurodivergency for slang as adhd and autism. I'll try to use the most accurate language because it's improtsnt that people with NPD BPD and Schizophrenia and other disorders and disabilities are recognized as neurodivergent. Just a reminder that its their word/space too

(

[Intro]

One, two, three, four

I might be a little spicy

A little bit neuro spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland

)

-Oh god. I don't want to be like "oh all these adhd people are just trying to be trendy" bc they aren't. But you either are neurodivergent or not. You can't be a little spicy. If you are questioning, do research. Don't write a song about it for clout?? Again idk if she is but still the phrasing makes me upset.

The second line is literally just "well isn't everyone a little Adhd?" Like. C'mon. That minimizes the struggle of being fucking disabled. And living with that disability. If everyone was a 'little disabled' then it would just be a human limitation not a disability?? That's like basic abelism 101.

Third line, one neurotype is not better than the other. Being neurodivergent means your brain works differently. If we start treating all autistic/adhd people like they are better bc they're cooler and smarter, most adhd/autistic people that have higher support needs will be even more left behind. It feels like those "not a disability a different ability " or "actually autism js a superpower" No. Stop. If your autism makes you smart, goof for you, but I'm not gonna let high and medium support needs people be pushed even father aside. It is ok to be disabled, and we need to accept that.

(

[Verse 2]

I have trouble with boundaries

A spicy little ginger man found me

He likes that I'm a little bit rowdy

He holds my sweaty hand

)

Line one, I don't like that she says she's "a little spicy" and then immediately goes to "I have trouble with boundaries." If you can't respect boundaries, that's on you. I understand that neurodivergent people sometimes can have issues with boundaries like forgetting them or something, but it isn't a part of being neurodivergent. It's part of being human. Neurodivergent people are capable of respecting boundaries. Even if neurodivergency makes it harder to remember or respect boundaries, that isn't a silly little hehe, thats part of a disability that needs either work or some accommodation. This line doesn't have pure abelism in it, but I don't like the implications of it at all.

Second line, this is me being a hater but I genuinely thought she was talking about ed sheeran there for a second. Or a ginger bread cookie man. The phrasing of that was so odd to me

(

Verse 3]

My brain and mouth don’t talk much

They don't usually sync up

So sometimes words I think of

Are louder and faster than I planned

)

Nothing bad with this I just really dislike the music

(

[Verse 4]

Einstein was a little spicy

Newton was a little spicy

Darwin, Edison, spicy

Imagine if they started a band

)

Stop conflating neurodivergency / Adhd + autism with being good at shit. It's not just something that makes you good at things. It is likely that they had some neurodivergency and we should celebrate the accomplishment of disabled people. But this paired with the "spicy is better than bland" line just isn't giving. I can feel the "autism js a superpower" energy. Again I'm bitching on internet for fun but still

(

[Outro]

It'd probably sound like

My doc says that I'm spicy

But even she's a little bit spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland (Two, three, four)

I might be a little spicy

A little bit neuro spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland (Wah, haha)

)

I promise you your doctor did not say you were "spicy" bc that's. Giving mal practice. The line just pisses me off bc it does. Thay isn't how any of this works.

Second line. Stop headcannoning people as neurodivergent. Not everyone js a little bit neurodivergent.

Last couple lines are just the chorus.

Even if the writer has autism or adhd I'm begging them to read one or two disabled theory books or at this point even some Tumblr posts. This creator has a pretty big platform and it's disappointing to see really basic abelist bullshit from someone who could easily find resources on this topic or hire/ask someone for a sensitivity read.

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism #autisic #Adhd #Jax #like bestie do better

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go-go-devil · 2 years ago

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Compilation of Various Changeling Headcanons of Mine

Been a while since I last wrote a massive list of hc's I have for a character, but I've been feeling bad for the lack of Patho content I’ve been sharing and want an excuse to talk about our beloved Clara the Changeling 🐀✨

Some spoilers for two of Pathologic Classic's endings are included in these, I should mention. Otherwise, enjoy!

Clara is a demisexual lesbian. I don’t need to do an in-depth detailed analysis to prove it, I just… know it!

She’s also neurodivergent, but in a way that makes it hard to give her a proper diagnosis. Really it’s most likely that she has overlapping disorders (adhd, bpd, autism) mixed in with others exclusive to those who’ve spawned from the Earth.

I’ve discussed this in another post once, but Clara’s biggest fear is her own body. A combination of knowing she was born from the clay and bones of the Earth combined with the truth about the world itself has given her a dreadful insight on how fundamentally different her physiology is from the other humans in the Town. Oftentimes she’ll feel different textures than what her skin and hair is supposed to feel like, and will need to stop what she’s doing and convince her mind that she’s real before the right textures return to her senses.

Is a tactile learner, and often prefers to show affection via touch (ex: patting one on the shoulder/back, holding hands, hugging, etc.)

The stress of her journey made her shed many tears, but now she’s become embarrassed about it. She’ll do everything in her power not to cry in front of others if she’s ever upset, simply saving it until she’s buried herself under some bed sheets or finds a lonely alley to cry her sorrows away.

That being said, if someone she cares about did find her sobbing and wanted to comfort her, she would throw herself into their arms and take in their compassion like a flea to fresh blood!

Clara was born with an innate understanding for very adult concepts and philosophies despite having the body and mind of a teenager. However, she finds herself preferring the conversations she has with the Town’s kids compared to the adults.

For example, with Sticky and Murky she can assuredly engage in a long, thoughtful debate on the mystical qualities and immaterial essence of life held within some nuts they found lying the dirt, while with the Bachelor and Haruspex she needed to slowly and carefully explain to them why it’s wrong for adult men their age to bully a teenage girl.

I have many complex feelings on her bond with Alexander Block, but I do believe that after her meeting with The Powers That Be she chooses not to accompany Block on the front lines. Even if she wants to leave, she knows more than anyone that this world only exists within the confines of its setting, and thus she can only live within the space created for her and the others. Perhaps Block can leave, but just as she says to him in her ending, "You came out of thin air and you'll pass into nothingness."

She still sees the Albino as her brother, and will often times travel deep into the steppe to visit him.

Once the plague is quelled Clara eventually begins to form a new family unit by being communally raised; essentially moving about at her own leisure between the residences of the members of her bound most patient with her (Yulia, Rubin, Lara, and even Bad Grief on some occasions) as well as Daniil and Artemy, who are both willing to put their past quarreling behind them. Presuming the Termite Ending was picked, of course!

The Saburovs remain unwilling to accept the future granted to the Termites, and Katarina in particular still believes that Clara is her proper heir and has tried to reach out and bring her back into their care to start over. She avoids them like the plague, still not ready to forgive them for abandoning her.

If the Humble Ending was picked, then she lives all by herself in the Rod, with only the consistent company of her two surviving humbles and the Bachelor and Haruspex; the three having ended their feuding after learning the shared knowledge of being dolls, yet still haven't fully recovered from the trauma of it all. She sends letters to Commander Block hoping to hear about what the outside world is truly like, even if all he can tell her are what battles lay on the front lines, and is trying to defy her fated rivalry against Maria and Capella by trying to form an alliance, perhaps even a friendship, with them to ensure a good future for the Town.

Capella is the only one willing to tolerate her presence at the moment, yet is still uneasy about this new future the Changeling has created…

While Clara always preaches about her fierce understanding of the divine powers of love, she genuinely does not understand the concept of being loved herself. Thanks to her hasty upbringing in a cult, she assumes that it is something like a commodity: needing to be earned by successfully completing tasks, and being instantly lost if she fails said tasks. The reason her mood nosedives into dramatic self-loathing whenever she angers/fails the people she cares about is because she believes that they now no longer love her as much as they used to.

Okay those last few points were pretty depressing, let me lighten it up a bit. Clara and Grace often have fun sleepovers in the cemetery together! Or at least what weird teenage girls closely connected to death find fun, like communicating with the dead and expressing their feelings toward one another in a series of flowery, cryptic riddles :)

I can totally see her owning pet rats! They’ll cling to her scarf and ride her like a taxi as she walks throughout town, freaking out every adult she passes.

Going back once more to her complex feelings about her own body, Clara also feels just as strange about her gender. She knows her anatomy isn’t built the same way “normal” girls’ are, despite taking the form of one. Often she feared that those who knew of her unnatural birth secretly saw her as an inhuman monstrosity, let alone those who haven’t found out yet. But eventually, with the support of those closest to her, she learns that humans inherently do not fit into the neat, fantastical boxes of cis heteronormalcy and slowly embraces her unique form of girlhood, and perhaps may start experimenting with using other pronouns too.

#clara the changeling #pathologic #pathologic headcanons #if anything this came about to hype myself up for a clara centric fic I’m writing #but it has been a while since I posted a massive hc list #I need to get back into the habit of that

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lokiinmediasideblog · 1 year ago

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hi! :D you've said before that you see mcu loki as ND-coded, and i'm curious about your specific thoughts on that. personally, i've mostly thought about this in terms of acquired mental illness stemming from trauma, but if i'm interpreting you correctly, you see him as innately neurodivergent? which is a fun + interesting take. are you thinking of a specific diagnosis, and/or is there a specific moment that stands out to you as ND Behaviour, or is it more of an overall vibe?

It started by thinking of Loki being ND-coded metaphorically, but I think he shows some behaviors. I will be breaking this down into actual behaviors and metaphors. I have ADHD, so I tend to skew his diagnosis towards that or AuDHD (and I have a mutual that thinks BPD also fits rather well and they're welcome to join in, lol).

Metaphors (movies):

1. The Jotun reveal. Aliens and changelings (both of which Loki is in cannon to Asgard) are common in metaphors to describe autism. From both the ND’s perspective as being in “Another planet” and from the NT’s perspective.

“A persistent trope in some autism communities is that autistic people are aliens, or, symmetrically, that non-autistic people seem like aliens to autists. Some autists are attracted to the metaphor of the alien to describe their own condition, or to say that they find other people alien (Hacking, 2009).”

“In addition to failure to thrive, before the development of modern medicine and psychiatry, it is very likely that any number of childhood disorders were interpreted as stolen children. Several modern authors have suggested that, in pre-scientific eras, children born with autism and other developmental disorders were probably considered changelings (Ashliman 1997; Wing and Potter 2002). By the late nineteenth century, science had begun to provide non-supernatural explanations for children who did not thrive or otherwise did not meet the normal expectations for a healthy infant, and belief in changelings faded. ”

2. Loki does not fit in at Asgard, the only home he’s known. His friends are actually Thor’s rather than his, and seem to tolerate him rather than like him.

3. Loki also gets blamed for misdeeds without good evidence: The W4 start suspecting a crown prince based on an enemy’s words and they assume Loki wants to harm Asgard. I think it’s important to note that they don’t assume he just wants the crown; they assume in his very short reign, that he’ll harm Asgard, which is never in his plans. And it’s unlikely they cared about Jotunheim since they wanted Thor back right away.

A parallel to being ND is that people distrust and even villainize you due to your mannerisms (e.g. “weird and quiet”). And I’ve talked about how I think Asgard promotes a very ridiculously straight forward mannerisms on its population to make self-policing easier. So Loki’s mannerisms must have clashed with the general population’s for them to distrust them so easily.

4. Loki’s main power-set being illusions, and unbeknownst to him, being changed into something he wasn’t born as (Jotun -> Asgardian), is a power-set analogous to masking (i.e. the process through which NDs camouflage themselves to fit in better).

Masking involves a lot of rehearsing and suppression to act in a more socially acceptable way. → Loki also needs to be useful to be appreciated

5. Thor being preferred for acting in ways deemed more socially acceptable by Asgard and Odin. A personal experience from me is getting shit to this day about how I was “so difficult as a toddler, unlike your brother!” and some mean comment about how I made life hell because they couldn’t take me to public places.

Some traits Loki showcases (and seem relatable to my ADHD-ass):

1. Tendency to fidget (in the movies and series). I think it’s even more noticeable in the series, where he’s doing random shit with stamps and hammers while he speaks to people (S2E1 talking with OB). It’s like he can’t stay still.

2. I pulled something very similar to the salad scene around an older mentor figure. It was rice I kept squishing in my hand while going off in a rant. My former mentor found my behavior amusing, for the most part, and never let me live that down.

3. Tendency to info-dump about how his magic works.

4. Poor impulse control (Loki series, gets drunk in a train, and cut Sif’s hair just because ← I HC he wanted to sabotage the relationship out of fear of vulnerability).

And that’s on top of the trauma-based extreme fear of abandonment he showcases in pretty much everything he’s been in.

Badly-formatted Sources:

Hacking, Ian. (2009) https://www.jstor.org/stable/40543987

#ND-coding #neurodivergence #headcannons #character coding #metaphor #mcu!loki #asks #ADHD #aliens and changelings

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