#i have a serious problem i fear
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i mean tell me this ain’t one of the prettiest things you’ve ever seen in your life
#alliyaps#my husband and my boyfriend#my captains ❤️#i want to wear both at once#i have a serious problem i fear#hockey#nhl#new jersey devils#nico hischier#quinn hughes#vancouver canucks
41 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you ship Godwyn and Fortissax? (p.s I LOVE your art! It's amazing!)
i mean if it were the pre-DLC version where i drew him purely on vibe going with whatever was popular in the fandom at the time (cuz i didn't have an actual take on him yet)... yeah maybe?
but the current version im drawing with bracelets and different hairstyle, no, i don't.... because i have a specific interpretation of his relationship with Fortissax, they are at most just close friends to me (actually i don't even believe that because the DLC dragon quest really got me looking sideway at any human that got love from dragons...like why all of them require the dragons to sacrifice so much for some random person that gave them nothing in return leave those creatures alone holy shit at least Nameless King forsake everything to stand by the dragons' side)
#there isn't even a spicy toxic love hate angle for me to use...it's weirdly one-sided so... for everyone's sake im seeing them as friends#im really sorry...#but how i see a character will greatly affect how i draw them#thank you for your kind words !!#but im afraid you won't find much of godwyn and fortissax in shipping sense here ;; ___ ;;;#like i already raising eyebrow at his ending requiring you to vanquish Fortissax so he could be reborn into a new Order but Florissax quest#in the DLC really makes me... jfc. so#i- i have a problem with the dragon - human relationship in ER i fear#it's ok if it's wholesome cute fluff fanarts but if it's like serious character study stuff i wouldn't go about it like that#ask#anon#reply
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently
Original photo
#my art#project sekai#rui kamishiro#if u saw this get posted before: no u didn’t#forgot to schedule the post for the morning incident 60 dead 600 injured.#i feel obligated 2 say I actually post abt pjsk on my main (apotelesmaa) frequently (I have brain worms)#& I only post on this blog once in a blue moon and it’s usually not serious art atp#so do not expect anything.#curtain call. what an event. love rui he’s such a good character. I hope he explodes.#he is so full of love and so bad at recognizing his emotions and problems.#‘I don’t have any emotional hang ups about anything’ says the guy who has so many emotional hang ups#rationalizing pulling back as safety measures instead of fearing abandonment/concern of hurting tsukasa (or others) again ->#rationalizing accepting asahi’s job offer because it’s the best for his future even if it’s not the best for himself#also tbh I think to some degree u could argue accepting the job offer was his way of getting ahead of being abandoned#not that it would happen and not that he’d recognize that to begin with#negative self awareness king! he is not processing his emotions at all!#would love for him to mention the job offer in a future event. even just offhandedly. shaking him by the shoulders. talk to ur friends moron#me when I’m in a not recognizing what I’m feeling and how it effects me competition and my opponent is rui kamishiro from hit game pjsk#etc etc. anyways.#once again falling into the ‘sure whatever this can go on the art blog’ category#in that I used simultaneously too much effort and very little in creating it#once again: [hope you’re hungry. for NOTHING] dot jpeg. as is typical here at hallowclave dot tumblr dot com.
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
pride month is so fun to me because it means i get to see three hundred angry posts about whether cishet ppl should be allowed or kept out of pride written with the tone of that being a real problem that exists when you go outside into the world
#how would you even go about keeping people out from pride im serious. do we think theres someone asking for ppls gender/sexuality#before theyre allowed near the float/boats/etc or..... i just dont even know how i need to picture it#or like. a straight looking person getting approached by gay ppl and told to go home? what are we fighting here#never have i understood this discourse i fear#most of all because like. here at least pride is attended by at least 80% cishet ppl who just view it as a big party & excuse to daydrink#and if they want to how is that a problem.... i'd rather they do that than stay inside and not want to associate with pride???#personal
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
INHALER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? I'M HAVING A BREAKDOWN OVER A NEW MUSIC TEASER!
#inhaler dublin#what the fuck man#i have serious problems i fear#inhaler band#inhaler#third times the charm#inhaler 3
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
bro . . . the ai voice technology thing is so incredibly creepy like. do. do we not see this as a problem in this age of recording people without their consent and just blasting it all over the internet. are we not thinking about like. the potential pitfalls of fake evidence. are we. are we not concerned about this
#caroline talks#anyways i was scrolling through the taylor swift tag today#and saw something that made me. want to scream#like. i get it not everyone likes taylor swift and that's fine#but gaylors scare the living crap out of me#saw someone like. have a taylor swift AI read a part of seven husbands of evelyn hugo#but it was like. a k*ylor thing and like.#can y'all be fuckign normal. u don't know them!!! you don't know them!! you don't know the whole story!!! chill!#also it just feels extra ugly considering that whole taylor-kanye-kim thing about the phone call those years back like. are u serious#and i'm just annoyed about this over a piece of celebrity stuff#but like. do. do. do people not get freaked out by this#maybe it's bc i too have this fear that someone is going to manipulate my voice or my actions on camera/audio#and misconstrue something i say or do and so I get super freaked out about it#but it's just. bro. do we. do we not. DO WE NOT SEE THE PROBLEM--#feeling like. i need to whack some people on the head. with a book.
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
Apollo will always stand out to me because his character has this insecurity of failing. Of not being good enough, if that makes any sense. He's still a kid, sure, but kids also have these fears and thoughts. Apollo doesn't like messing up because it shows that he's not good at that thing and he doesn't want to be viewed like that and he won't be. Not as long as he knows that it's alright to mess up. As long as you get up and go at it again.
#Why am I like analyzing a kid. Oh my gosh.#But like still!!! It's just so nice to see kids legitimately being kids. Fun side and serious side#And not just Apollo but the other kids they all have their problems and that's how kids are. They too have fears that aren't stuff like -#- the dark or monsters#Anyways ANYWAYS#stars messages#pajanimals#pajanimals apollo#Think fandom is small enough for no one to care about this
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
😭💔
#the problem is that I tend to extrapolate things from the beginning.#I have a serious crush. I would date him if he asked. heck I think I'd marry him.#and then we get to the massive#overwhelming ISSUE:#having kids is genuinely my worst nightmare. I'm not exaggerating in any way. being pregnant and having kids is my worst fear.#so because of that I cannot get married and thus I cannot date and thus#I can't allow myself to be in love with this guy.#which then leads to mental anguish bc I sometimes wonder if God isn't doing something here#but in the end I can't have... any of this. because I'm too utterly averse to having children#and that's kind of the end result of any of it#ugh#why did I have to have this crisis (again) over my morning coffee.... alas
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
i lowkey hate the schizophrenia subreddit
#the adas speak#it's just 'call the police on this unwell person!' and 'you need to go to a doctor and get medicated!'#which. yeah schizophrenia is very serious right. i know i have a mild case or i just don't know how bad i have it#but. it sucks to see mentally ill people vouching for what is likely to lead to the harm of others like them#even when a person is actually dangerous i still don't think my first thing would be the cops. when you know they're schizophrenic#you can do emergency plans. for if/when things get really bad#like. my therapist is probably about to try to force me to get medicated. same therapist that hasn't noticed i was schizophrenic#same therapist that knows how my parents treat me and my disabilities#it's just. there's such a strong stigma and fear of schizophrenia when it's just. a thing?#and we really need to be teaching people how to handle us. like systemically and also as individuals when we can#instead of advocating for medication and cops as the only solutions. those can very well cause more problems than they solve#like. sending the cops after a paranoid person is just logically kinda dumb. sending a paranoid person to the psych ward#where they'll be forced to take medication or stay in solitary confinement is just. it's fucked up. and it probably makes it worse#like the schizophrenia itself probably gets worse if every time you experience psychosis you get treated like shit by the worst people ever#there is proof that if people are less negative/more positive about it the symptoms are less negative#so it's just wild that instead of looking at what those cultures where schizophrenia isn't this awful thing for the people who have it#we continue to talk like our society is the only option.#ig with the schizophrenic symptoms it's hard to really enact change or find the motivation for it. but idk
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish I had someone to talk about how much amatonormativity traumatized me
Not only when I was a kid and grew up scared that my parents would abandon me because people would keep asking me if they "started a new life" but didn't get it was romantically speaking and really thought they were gonna leave town and forget about me
Or not just because as a teen everyone started dating and caring about romantic shits that I couldn't understand and I felt this suffocating pressure that I had to become like them if I wanted to be accepted/normal
But mostly because I am terrified to be seen as an object that can be used and discarded without my consent because I "just don't know" what I'm "missing out" or I "just didn't find the right person yet" or I "just had bad experiences and need to get over it with someone new"
The only message I seem to get from amatonormativity is that my life is worthless if I don't have someone to share it with (romantically & sexually) and that romance and sex can be forced upon me if I don't act like I want them
And it's so scary. It's so so scary.
To know that my life has no value and that I deserve to experience traumatic stuffs to "cure" me
To know that anyone could want that from me and that it wouldn't be acceptable to say "no" because my body is disposable and belongs more to others than it does to me since I just "don't know" that I want to say "yes" yet
And all I'm left with is a bunch of trust issues because anyone I meet could turn on me at any moment and it would be socially acceptable.
Anyone could discard me to "start a new life" with someone that want the same things as them (romance and sex)
Anyone I meet could hit on me and ask stuffs from me that I cannot give them and I would almost always be the bad guy for rejecting them and I know that they could force me and that I wouldn't be taken seriously if anything happened
I don't know, maybe it's just the invisible poc aroace trans neurodivergent otherkin fem-looking ghost in me who's too used to be not acknowledged talking but I think something is deeply wrong with this society and I will not feel safe until it's done right.
#fuck amatonormativity#felt like sharing some traumatic stuffs that happened some time ago & left me bruised but didnt have anyone to turn to#+ i just know no one will understand anyways bc my aroace identity is never taken too seriously & aphobia is way too normalized#so im just sitting in bed all alone feeling like crying forever bc no one seems to understand#made a more general post instead of talking directly abt the problem but i hope u can feel at least a portion of my fear in here#no one should feel like that. i didnt do anything to deserve that#i just want to go someplace safe where everyone is aroace and amatonormativity doesn't exist#aromanticism#asexuality#serious talk
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
the seven was so so healing to watch oh my god
#it.Explored.Teenage girldom in a way i adore so fuckingg much#it was so silly and so fulof love AND THEIR PROBLEMS WERE SO LIKE.TEENAGE GIRLY#your family is struggling with money and You want to helpthey wont let you help you don’t know how to help#parents are always at work and you cant complain because thats not fair butyou wish they were there more#you have thiis group of friends you love with everything but it culminates in the intense fear of losing them#THE SISTERHOOD AT THE END OF IT ALL DEATH IS MOST AFRAID OOF DYING AHHHHHHHH THAT WAS FUCKING WILD#ANND THEN THE END WAS SO HEALING SO SO HEALING LIKKE FIXING EVERYTHING IN A WAY that whille not realistic Like I needed it.Like I coulldnt s#DTOP SMILING during the end#NOT TO MENTION HOW SICK THE FINAL BATTLE WAS the eidolons ohhmygod#it was seriously the funniest season and so heartfelt silly and had the rigght amount of serious moments like#the mirror scene with sam and onenelope Well jesuscrist literallu changed lives#deals with trauma in a way ii like Very ugly very raw (beautiful sam)#PLUS i know ifts so simple but.man.having a trans girl character Angry and powerful and making mistakes and so fullof love I dont know#sam nightingale is such a special character and sephie iis amazing
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
THERE IS AN ESSAY TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN 1984 AND THE CIRCLE JUST TO GET IT OUT OF MY MIND AND THERE'S AN ESSAY OR AT LEAST ANALYSIS LURKING SOMEWHERE BETWEEN INTERNET CENSORSHIP LEADING TO WORDS LIKE "UNALIVE" AND NEWSPEAK BUT BRAIN NO ESSAY WRITING HARDLY EVEN EASY HOBBY WRITING WHICH I'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR YEARS THAT REQUIRES NO STRUCTURE SPECIFICALLY I AM CHEWING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE
#STUFF LIKE UNALIVE THATS LITERALLY JUST NEWSPEAK THATS NEWSPEAK THATS CENSORSHIP BE IT CORPORATE-INDUCED OR SELF-ADOPTED#ITS NEWSPEAK ITS NEWSPEAK ITS NEWSPEAK IT MAKES THINGS LIKE KILLING APPEAR MORE HARMLESS IT MAKES ACTUAL SERIOUS PROBLEMS APPEAR NOT AS BAD#ITS LITERALLY JUST NEWSPEAK BUT NOT ENACTED BY A GOVERNMENT BUT BY CORPORATE CONTROLLING MEDIA JUST LIKE IN THE CIRCLE#I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE GAHHHHHH#but also the circle has been praised as a mix of 1984 and brave new world and also the system being based on rewards rather than punishment#is something from brave new world also so i need to read that as well#nevermind that i speedread the circle and thus didnt catch any details and also that i havent even finished 1984#now with all the *gestures vaguely * stuff going on in the world rn do you think the fear of totalitarianism will rise again#the circle's fear of corporate/social media control is very real rn but will the core of 1984 becaome just as relevant again#bc rn people arent as worried abt totalitarianism but it feels like its not gonna stay like that fo much longer (which i hate but ykno)#a biscuit's rambles#my friend and i had our presentation today AND WHILE WE STOOD THERE IN FRONT OF THE CLASS I NOTICED EVEN MORE STUFF GAHHHHHH#I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS I AM NOT NORMAL I CANNOT I NEED TO I#funny thing is we tried to somehow get it to 15 mins (supposed talking time At Least)#but we didnt really get to talk it through so uh. we overdid it. and um. we took 35 mins#lmao
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wonder how many times I’ve googled whether I’m having a panic attack or an anxiety attack...
#vent#hohohahhaoho anyways#I am sooooo bad responding to things....#anyways I’m literally less than five seconds my heartbeat shot up to 144 bpm so. fun <3 my lucky number 44 wouldn’t have it any other way#anyways I need to cry but I can’t cry so you understand. I’m pacing my room and standing with locked knees#and trying not to fumble or bump into things while makin my sister a snack while smilin and being normal <3#do u understand. ough what is with TODAY whhhhh. is it the aderall?? did the adderall fuck me up today?? or ?? wha??#oghghgg why am I so sweaty JUST in my pits like that’s the WORST spot to be sweaty in#kitty is here <3 she can sense when I’m crazy 🤪🤪#I’m at 160 now <3 ogohohoo ahhhhh I can’t lay down right like that the one thing you shouldn’t do with a fast heart rate#hoho anyways the crippling fear of not being who I need to be for the people I need in order to be#sounds chaotic and strange cus of phrasing but. you understand#anyways my heart doesn’t even get like this when I’m like. performing a full page monologue in front of my peers#I can pretend to be a cat for a minute and a half and tell the dog to stay in their place and not get into mine#uhmmm yea idk I want people to feel comfortable being serious around me and prove I’m the friend to go to for things or be the one who under#understands. but I always feel like. a pariah. is that the word? idk. when I feel confronted with things all I can do is like. run away. cry#suffer alone cus it’s what I deserve. yeaaaa I’m going insane can you tell I think this is the first time since like. February where I feeL#SO bad ugh idk what. I did this to myself the fuck?? haha. hope it doesn’t stress me to hair loss and skin picking and disorderd eating and#bad (or should I say worse HA) sleep habits. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sorry my problems are minuscule to others and I haven’t had a day of#any real discrimination or struggle in my life#i have everything I need. all I have to worry about is doing class work and attending lectures and watching plays. I don’t have to get thing#a myself or worry about food or a place to live. wooofff uhmmm. I wish I had someone here to squeeze me until I don’t feel like crying any#more. oh I feel so bad what the hell. and my nail is breaking ahahaha imagine. a life where my biggest problem I have to face is#a nail breaking mhmhmhaha#haha when you hold in your tears so hard your nose drenches your chin. sorry that’s gross ahaha idk what I’m doing flooding your dash with.#whatever this is. I’ll try to stop now. sorry
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
If MDZS was an omegaverse, Jin Guangyao would somehow find a way to reverse-bitch himself into an alpha.
#i have a serious thing for omega jgy#but he'd take a problem with auch a traditionally subservient position#and would fear further loss of power and subordination because of it#like this guy is so talented#i have no doubt he'd manage to make himself into an alpha
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#nura rambles#idk somehow it's easier to tap on tumblr post button and type in tags then open the journal and write there#my friend met someone and they r already talking serious topics like marriage and stuff and i'm happy for her but it's also a sign that idk#time is ticking and our lives are progressing and changing#and i am once again filled w anxiety and regret?? and thinking that i missed smth and am continually missing smth lacking smth#and also i finally accepted the idea of it being my choice to stay here and that the moving abroad ambition wasn't mine after all and now#that i'm past that i can see another thing that is and was anxiety fuelling and that's this constant not fear but just silent notion that#if my so in the future happens to be not a man there's a huge possibility of us moving abroad cause i'd want my kids to be able to exist#lmao i'd want to be able to marry my partner#but like it's out of my control rn so why am i worrying about smth that might not even happen and making it a huge problem and isolating#myself even in my thoughts uhhhhhh i haven't realised until now that it's been worrying me constantly tbh#and when i tried telling my mom about my anxiety framing it as time passing worrying me because i think our family's life hasn't changed in#the past 5 years at all and it's depressing and that it shocks me that my friends are apparently soon gonna start marrying and their older#siblings did and are having babies now while i'm a nervous mess only now figured i have sad and lost winter months of past few years to it#and my older brother is apparently stuck has been for 5 years#and my parents aren't getting younger and her takeaway was that i'm thinking of marriage and it terrifies me lol#yeah mom u should think of it when u tell me my character is difficult and wonder how anyone will fit me??#anyways time isn't real and i think i'm a little baby#this week is so long jfc
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family From GAZA WAR
Dear Humanity,
I'm Haya from Gaza , from a family of 8 people: my parents, two sons, and four daughters (two of them suffer from allergies).
I've witnessed the evidence of the tragedy that has struck our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived amidst numerous previous wars. But today, we face the most dangerous and fierce battle in the current war. The urgent need intensifies for us, as we have nothing left and are unable to secure our basic needs such as food, water, and safe shelter.
Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever, my family and I evacuated from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but it wasn't meant to be. Our home was surrounded, burned, and then completely destroyed, Our home, once a fortress of hope, now lay in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.
The night before we left from the north to the south was terrifying. Shelling sounds were everywhere, making a loud noise that felt like it went through our souls. Every explosions shook the ground like earthquakes, sending shockwaves of fear through our trembling bodies. filling us with fear. The air smelled of destruction and blood, making it hard to breathe. When dawn came, we saw the devastation around us, realizing our home was now a symbol of loss and despair.
We ran into the streets and with each step we took into the unknown streets, we felt as if we were plunging deeper into the abyss of our shattered existence, leaving behind everything we own in our home: Clothes, important official documents, the car, and literally it's almost everything - the enormity of our loss weighed heavily upon us.
Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.
youtube
A brief video depicting the devastation that struck our home and our entire neighborhood in Gaza.
Desperate Plea: Escaping Gaza's Allergy Nightmare
I, Haya, suffer from severe allergy to penicillin-derived medications, and my sister, Amal, also suffers from severe allergies to medications from my family such as Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.
These allergies create a deep sense of fear and anxiety for us, as we live in a constant state of tension and fear of anything that may require a visit to the hospital. We fear being given inappropriate medications due to the unavailability of suitable treatments in Gaza because of war or lack of awareness and not informing the doctor of our allergies, which could lead to serious consequences threatening our lives.
MY Father Income
Our dreams are heading towards oblivion in the labyrinth of an uncertain future
My story, along with my siblings, represents a united team of four individuals, three of whom are skilled programmers and one graphic designer. We work as freelancers in the world of freelancing.
As for my younger sister, she is a student studying at the College of Architecture. She has always carried a big dream in her heart, a dream of being part of changing Gaza, of making it more beautiful and better. She looked forward to the day when she would receive her degree and start building this dream. But the beginning of the war changed everything. The destruction of infrastructure and universities cast shadows of despair over her dreams.
When I think of my brother in Belgium, I can't help but feel deep sadness. He has been suffering from unbearable anxiety and insomnia since the outbreak of the war. Sleep eludes him at night, and his physical and mental health collapses under the weight of these heavy burdens, negatively affecting his performance at work. Problems and challenges pile up in front of him without the slightest opportunity for rest.
We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.
As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.
Our parents earnestly seek a way to rescue us from this hell, feeling the heavy responsibility for every moment we spend under the shadows of fear and destruction. They dream of a safe place where they can build for us a better future, filled with security and hope, for we deserve life in all its meanings of comfort and peace.
Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.
I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.
Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.
The purpose of the fundraising campaign
The goal of this fundraising campaign is to rescue my family - my parents, my siblings, and me - through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt, which currently requires $5000 per person. This campaign is our only chance to stay alive, and I humbly request your assistance at this critical time. I will provide you with a comprehensive breakdown of the expenses, committing to transparency and clarity.
All of our important links are here https://linktr.ee/hayanahed
Verified by :
⭐️ operation olive branch, number 26 on their spreadsheet. (On Master list)
⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249 on their spreadsheet. Or you could see it as number 212 here is the photo for more clear proof
Thank you for your kindness and support.
.جزاكم الله خيراً
yours sincerely;
Haya Alshawish.
#palestine#free palestine#donations#donate if you can#please donate#gofundme#go fund them#donate#donation#go fund her#palestine gfm#gaza gfm#gazan families#fundraising#go fund me#fundrasier#save gaza#save palestine#please#please help#help gaza#mutual aid#donation match#charity#go fund him#gaza#gaza strip#emergency#hope#important
63K notes
·
View notes