#is something from brave new world also so i need to read that as well

[silentplanetcat]

Fuck….I forgot about Jeff Dunham. I remember seeing a clip of him somewhere as a little 9 year old. This is actually bringing a lot of stuff back. I was in a very different area (namely, New York) and I was 3 when the attacks happened so I remember nothing. My first memory of the time was a WILD conversation that took place between my dad and me in 2003ish. Let me set the scene. I am a gangly little 5 year old with terrible hand-eye coordination, crooked glasses, pigtails that stuck out of my head and 2 years of 40-hour-per-week ABA therapy under my belt. I am going through something of a questioning phase as I try and figure out how the world works. Notable questions included “Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet? Are you siblings?” “Is George Washington Still the President?” “Do *all* boys named George become the president?” etc.

My dad and I are walking in New York. I had just finished reading a children's book about World War 2 and I have a lot of questions about it. This is how the conversation begins. Me: So World War 2 was started by Germany trying to take over the world...

Dad: Yes honey

Me: Did they want to take over America?

Dad: Well they didn’t get that far, but they probably would have tried. Me: Are we in any wars right now?

Dad: [considerate pause. Glances to his right. We are currently passing by the Iraqi Embassy, I shit you not.] Well…yes..yes we are.

Me: Who are we fighting?

Dad: Two countries you haven’t heard of. One is called Iraq. That’s its flag right there. Me: Whoa! What’s the scribble on it?

Dad: That’s writing in their language. Me: Do they speak…Irakian?

Dad: No. Their language is called Arabic and it has a different alphabet from us. Me: Are they trying to take us over?

Dad: …no Me: Then why are we fighting them?

Dad: Well Iraq is ruled by a very, very mean man named Saddam Hussein. We think he has weapons that could hurt a lot of people. Like I said, he’s a very bad man. So America is going to try and stop him from doing bad things.

Me: Like we’re gonna put him in a time out?

Dad:…something like that.

Me: Is the President gonna put him in a time out?

Dad: Well the President has to stay in America, so he’s going to send some very brave men and women to put Saddam Hussein in a time out.

Me: Wow! [Pause] You aren’t going to fight Saddam Hussain, are you? Dad: No, don’t worry honey.

Me: Ok. Good.

After this, I start getting interested in reading the newspapers my parents get every morning. I don’t know if they’re on the Internet. I only use the Internet to play flash games on the American Girl Doll website (RIP Flash Plugins). It starts with me looking at pictures and asking what’s happening in them. Then I move on to reading captions, then shorter articles, then longer articles. The New York Times and NPR become my foreign policy teacher—but I know not to listen too much to NPR because dad says sometimes they’re a bit crazy. My understanding of America is very…liberal. I know we are the Best country in the world with the best and nicest army in the world. I know that when I see someone in a soldier’s uniform I’m supposed to go up to them, look them in the eye and thank them for their service. I know that my classmates talk about these buildings that don’t exist anymore called the “Twin Towers,” but mom and dad won’t tell me what they are until I’m 9. I know that Saddam Hussein is a bad man with a very silly-looking mustache and that he hates freedom, children and America and we need to stop him. I also know about another bad man named Osama Bin Laden. He wears a hat and has a long beard, like Santa, but its black instead of white. I know he hates America and Freedom too and that we’re trying to find him so we can put him in a time out with Saddam Hussein. I am shielded from a lot of the homophobia and rape culture. When I find out the gay couple that introduced my parents to each other aren’t married, I’m very confused because I don’t know why the President or Congress would make a law against Uncle [Redacted] and Uncle [Redacted] from getting married. I’m also a bit peeved because I want them to make me their flower girl, but mom and dad say that they won’t have a big wedding because they want to do it quickly in case the government of Massachusetts changes their mind. The rape culture doesn’t become apparent to me until I’m 10 and learn what rape in my Catholic School bible study class. By the time I’m able to appreciate it at 12, it’s 2010 and the decade is over. Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are dead. We’re still in Iraq and Afghanistan and nobody knows when we’ll leave. The economy is collapsing and a lot of my classmates are moving away. The rumblings of oncoming fascism are there, but Mom and Dad say everything is gonna be ok. I believe them. Then I’m in my college’s dining hall in 2016 watching the election, the results come in, a collective wail erupts from the crowd of students staring at the screen and a thought occurs to me that I’ve never really considered. What if Mom and Dad are wrong?

…I’m asking this as a younger queer person who was busy with other things during the 2000s (namely being a toddler/very young child)…what was being queer teen in the early 2000s like? Also, before I go interrogate the first willing 40 year old I find at the LGBT Center…do you know of any books or articles about this time period?

it was a lot of being forced through abstinence only sex education, getting hate crimed, being super eating disordered and that being completely normalized and even considered healthy, having classmates die of a mix of eating disorders & drug use, rampant teen pregnancy, both teachers and students getting into fistfights, being sexually harassed literally all the time, the one trans kid having to take school online so he wouldnt kill himself, 25 year olds hanging out around the school giving girls cigarettes and sexually assaulting them, working a part time job at the mall for 5.50 an hour then driving home to find your mom watching bill oreilly ranting about how people like you are evil and disgusting and next thing jeff dunhams on the tv doing jokes about dead muslims. cant tell you just how ambient and everywhere both violent homophobia and rape culture were like it was omnipresent. lotta slurs too. lots of teens getting black out drunk all the time and puking and getting into situations. what resistance to the wars i got to see in my small ish city was a few rallies of a few dozen people and some protest signs tied to highway overpasses, but otherwise american flags and jingoistic propaganda were everywhereeeee, on every minivan window and classroom etc. nobody spoke up for gay people that wasnt gay and everybody hated women and were so so anti black

the internet was a lot better though.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

THERE IS AN ESSAY TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN 1984 AND THE CIRCLE JUST TO GET IT OUT OF MY MIND AND THERE'S AN ESSAY OR AT LEAST ANALYSIS LURKING SOMEWHERE BETWEEN INTERNET CENSORSHIP LEADING TO WORDS LIKE "UNALIVE" AND NEWSPEAK BUT BRAIN NO ESSAY WRITING HARDLY EVEN EASY HOBBY WRITING WHICH I'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR YEARS THAT REQUIRES NO STRUCTURE SPECIFICALLY I AM CHEWING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

[looulouv]

the bodyguard. — epic!telemachus x reader

pairing: telemachus x gn!reader synopsis: after a year away from ithaca, telemachus returns to find his home in turmoil, with bloodshed staining the halls of the palace. gods, he just wanted to reunite with his family, his mother and certain guard that had captured his heart without even knowing. but the fates had another idea of a family reunion. genre: idk man, fluff ? angst ? warnings: fighting, blood, etc etc, tele being a sweetheart, mm that's it ig word count: 2.5k author's note: first time posting here, got tired of my ideas rotting in my notes app.......... had sm fun writing this, omg my fingers hurt after spending like three hours on my laptop ! would love to write more ab this, lemme know if i should !!!

first meeting: here! pt 2: here!

Telemachus had been alone in the palace for a long time. Dreaming of the day where his father would return to claim his throne, where he would tell him countless stories from the war, from the world, the sea. Telemachus' heart hurt, feeling a missing part, a void that he knew his father would fill.

But he didn't feel alone. He had them.

(Y/N), a new guard that had been assigned as guard when he was around fifteen. They had arrived as a gift from Nestor of Pylos, whose loyalty to Odysseus stretched back to Troy. Though sent to shield Penelope and her son, their arrival did little to quiet the suitors, who saw them as little more than a foreign soldier meddling in Ithacan affairs. But to Telemachus, their sharp tongue and unwavering spear became a comfort in the chaos, and eventually, their kind heart made his own race. They had become quite a companion for him when they weren't guarding his mother's chambers.

He always found himself admiring them. He couldn't help it, not when they were so pretty. How could anyone carry that guard uniform and still look so gorgeous? Telemachus didn't know. He had grown up alongside (Y/N), who was just a year younger than him, and had watched them transform into a more skilled soldier than they were before, agile and poised, unwavering and firey. Telemachus couldn't stop himself from looking, from sighing at the sight of them, a dazed smile on his lips as he observed at the way their hair flowed as they trained, how their expression softened when they interacted with his mother. How they seemed to bow their head to even Argos when they passed by, greeting ever so softly. Telemachus envied and felt enthralled by the kindness in their heart.

They even tried constantly to stop Antinous from kicking his ass, but well, it didn't do much the last time, it only made the older man give him a warning about how his mother had to choose new husband and with a scoff, he walked away, ripping a goblet of wine from another suitor. Telemachus didn't care. He had landed a few punches as well with Athena's help. He was proud of himself.

Since then, Telemachus not only had his mother and (Y/N), but also Athena. His new mentor encouraged him to be more brave and fierce, to practice with his spear and to take action using strategy and wisdom. And that's why he chose to travel and find information about his father, guided by his mentor to take part in something more than read thousands of scrolls as he spent the day locked in his chambers with Argos.

When he decided to embark on a journey to Pylos and Sparta, both Penelope and (Y/N) were against it, skeptical and worried, but stubborn as ever, Telemachus yelled and that he needed to prove himself, that he needed to know. That he needed to do something to feel worthy of his lineage. And so he left, for a whole year.

As the ship divised Ithaca and Telemachus practically buzzed with enthusiasm of seeing his mother again, of seeing them again, his heart rate picked up.

He didn't know that when he returned, his father would already be there, slaying the 108 souls that made his and his mother's lives tremendously difficult, sending them straight to Tartarus. Yet when Athena advised him to dock his ship somewhere else, away from prying eyes, Telemachus felt something was wrong.

So when he arrived to the palace and managed to hear the screams, he bolted. He ran towards the source of the sounds and while running, he saw piles of bodies, puddles and puddles of blood, his sandals slipping on the slick marble floor stained with fresh crimson. He just hoped his mother was okay, he hoped that (Y/N) could keep her safe. He hoped (Y/N) was safe. The palace was dark as night approached, torches blown out and some of them on the floor, a few feet away from the bodies. Telemachus could still see, squinting his eyes as he now walked carefully, wary of whatever dangers could be found within the walls of his home.

And that's when he saw it, Amphinomus and Melanthius, their voices echoing sharply against the cold stone walls of the armory. The room was dimly lit, the golden and silver glint of scattered weapons catching the faint glow of a single torch hanging near the entrance. They were discussing something about… The king? His father? Had he returned? Was that why the suitors were falling like rotten apples from a tree? He had to do something. That was his chance to finally do something about those monsters that had been tormenting him since he was a child.

He gripped his double sided spear until his knuckles turned white, and before he could be heard, he struck Amphinomus, his sharp eyes watching him fall with a loud thud. He then tried to persuade the rest of the suitors to give up, to throw down their weapons, but as he suspected, it was useless. They charged at him, wanting to capture him to have a leverage over his father.

And they almost did it, because while Telemachus fought tooth and nail to get them off, his spear was knocked out of his hands in a second, and Melanthius forced him to his knees, where Telemachus felt like he had disappointed his mentor and his entire bloodline.

But as soon as his expression fell, his eyes widened as he felt a gush of warm, red liquid on his face. Melanthius had been stabbed from the back, by non other than a man with a cloak, eyes red as blood and expression deathly as a sharp sword. Melanthius tried to beg for mercy, but wasn't grated with it, with harsh words and various wounds to the chest by this individual. His father.

And soon, as Odysseus busied himself with those who were still alive, more screams could be heard down the hallway from the great hall. A running figure emerged from the chaos, sharp eyes gleaming in the lone, flickering torchlight that illuminated the hallway. Their white chiton, trimmed with blue and gold, glowed faintly against the dark, blood-spattered hall. Each calculated strike of their spear echoed in the cavernous space, the clatter of falling weapons and dying gasps and yelps of suitors filling the air. Behind them, the shadows seemed to ripple as if the palace itself recoiled from the carnage. The dark blue chlamys draped over their shoulder, fastened with a round golden brooch, flowed as they moved both ferociously and gracefully. They had an armor, gold bracers with intricate patterns on both forearms, gold and blue greaves on the lower legs, equipped with a round shield, alongside their gold helmet crested with a plume. Strappy leather sandals that climbed their calves made a faint noise as they ran down the hall, eyes calculating every move, mind and soul fast as they struck every suitor they encountered.

Telemachus had never seen such a dangerous yet beautiful sight. (Y/N) looked so flawless as they fought, and when their eyes met? Telemachus swore his heart stopped. He hadn't seen them since the year prior, and they looked even more stunning. Not that they weren't stunning before, but because he had missed that elegance and grace when he was away, -thinking about it for a whole year, of them with a stoic face, chuckling at him as his spear fell out of his hands when he practiced, shielding him from Antinous constant pestering, admiring them while they were on duty and he was supposed to be eating his dinner-, and seeing it once more after a long time made him appreciate it even more. When they approached, asking if he was hurt while trying to wipe the blood off his face, asking if some of it was his, Telemachus couldn't stop himself from stuttering, cheeks flushed like he hadn't been stabbing men left and right, the flush on his cheeks competing against the blood on his clothes and face. The air was thick, heavy with the aftermath of battle, yet all he could focus on was the way (Y/N)’s gaze burned into his.

"I-I'm fine, (Y/N), I promise, it's not mine" he answered, lowering himself to retrieve his spear and grip it in his hands, sending a lopsided smile their way, almost forgetting that his father, the one who was stranded away for twenty years, was right there, as he admired their presence. How their hair had grown out, how it seemed more shiny.

Once he snapped out of that trance, his eyes fell on his father. Odysseus, the great king of Ithaca. Telemachus' mouth hanged open for a while, staring as Odysseus recovered for the carnage. His chest heaved, his long hair was messy, face stained with red.

"Father…" was all Telemachus could muster, heart on his throat. (Y/N) took notice of this, and their eyes snapped to the man whom they didn't recognize, eyes wide with shock.

"My king, it's an honor." they bowed deeply, lowering their spear as well as their head.

Odysseus, who seemed to now comprehend how much time he had been away, ignored the greeting from the guard and just looked at Telemachus like he was still an infant in his arms, muttering a soft "Son…" as his eyes softened, no longer carrying that angry red that he possessed during the battle. Both father and son embraced for a while, emotions flooding the room as (Y/N) gave them space, guarding the door like they were on duty.

Once they had talked and shared a few tears, Telemachus fetched the guard from their spot, his hand brushing slightly against theirs as he pulled them in the direction of his father.

"This is (Y/N), father. The guard I talked to you about, a friend I made over the years. They practically kept this whole place running. If it weren't for them, mother and I would probably be in ruins," he chuckled, eyes trailing over every faction, every detail in (Y/N)'s face.

“A fine soldier and a loyal companion. You’ve served my family well, (Y/N).” Odysseus' voice was heavy with authority, but there was a warmth underneath it, a gratitude that even a seasoned warrior like (Y/N) would recognize, as his eyes, maybe dimmed and tired, still held some softness in them.

"It was nothing, my king. I was just doing what was right, it's my duty." they replied, tone steady, but Telemachus noticed the faintest waver in their voice. Nerves? Respect? Whatever it was, was endearing to him. And when (Y/N) straightened up and bowed once more, turning their attention back to the doors as Odysseus told Telemachus to inform his mother of his return and to have his guard accompany him, he let them go first before patting his son on the back with a strong but gentle hand.

"A good choice, my boy."

Telemachus froze, eyes wide as his cheeks turn blazing red.

"Wha-? No, father, it's not-" he stammered, trying to think of something to save himself, but it was futile.

"Oh, it's not what? I saw the way you looked at them the moment they joined the fight. Don't lie to me, son. I may have been away for twenty years, but I recognize that look everywhere. I looked at your mother the same way,"

His words alone were enough for Telemachus to turn scarlet, even more than he already was, knuckles white as he gripped his spear with the strength of an army, heart pounding against his ribcage. Gods, what was he going to do?

[edward-munson]

I don't care | S.H.

Summary: Taking care of Steve after he was attacked by an army of demobats seems like a lot of work, only because apparently he doesn't like you.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of injury, allusion to smut

Word count: 2.2k

☆°•○♡

"You want them spicy or not?" You ask Steve as you make nachos for dinner for both of you.

He's lying on the couch, on his back. He still recovers from the attack of the demobats. His neck is almost fully scarred, but the bites on his stomach and his sides are still painful. You've been laying low together for close to two weeks.

Your friends didn't want to make you team up with them to find Vecna and kill him. Not that you're not brave or strong enough to do so. But you're still pretty new to all of this and someone had to stay with Steve. So you didn't even bother opposing the idea, even though he's not your biggest fan.

God knows why, he never told his reasons. And your friends didn't know either. Maybe Eddie did, but he wouldn't open his mouth about it.

"I still think this is really unnecessary. I'm not a fucking child" He complains as he walks past the kitchen door, leaning against the sink.

With crossed arms, he looks at your food. You made chilli beans, guacamole and cheese sauce for the spicy nachos. You look up at him, trailing your eyes on his neck for an instant before raising an eyebrow to him.

"You can't even hold your own weight, Harrington. Stop being a crybaby".

Steve scoffs at you, but doesn't move an inch from his position. "Jesus, I wish we had another plan".

You drop the spoon you were using, turning your face to look at him. "I'm only doing this because they asked me to. Get off your own ass".

You leave the kitchen, walking out to the bedroom you were sleeping on. You were staying at his house. It's not like there were other options, but you couldn't refuse to stay there when he's alone and barely walking. Well, he can walk. The worst part is that he needs rest because of his wounds.

The past two weeks you've been quite getting along. Not that much, really. It's not like you were friends. Probably more like close acquaintances. Because obviously, he was the one pushing you away.

You didn't leave your room for a while, you were too annoyed to eat, and since it was dinner for the two of you, it didn't feel like you should eat anymore. You decided to spend your time watching something on the TV, which would easily make you get bored.

And then you would read books, or write stuff. It's been pretty tough lately since Vecna appeared. Max almost got killed and now she was staying at Dustin's house. The other kids were coming back to Hawkins to help, maybe Eleven might be able to do something about that.

You actually wished you were doing something fun. Like, taking a trip to the beach or snowboarding since it's fall and the weather has been cold. Your thoughts were pushed back by a knock on the door. Steve didn't open it and you didn't mention doing it either, so he just stayed there.

"Sorry I was an idiot" His voice came out muffled through the closed door. "I know I've been cranky and annoying".

You only opened the door after a couple of minutes, not exactly sure if he was still there. But he looked up from the floor at you. "You used to be nice. I mean, way before this curse happened".

He stayed quiet, because you were right. But what else can he do if the world was turned upside down (almost literally) again? And you almost got them killed once, not on purpose of course.

You were also the one to get too close to Robin and he hated seeing his best friend sharing her friendship with someone else. Because up until then, he was the only one she was the closest he had to a friend, even though he had a strong relationship with Eddie too.

None of it was your fault, but he grew annoyed over you. He couldn't lie to himself and say you weren't too kind and helpful. But he started to become extremely unenthusiastic over you through the year.

"A lot has happened since then. I'm trying to live up to the fact that we're against another monster again" Steve leans an arm against the doorframe, but refuses to keep his gaze at you.

"Which isn't my fault, by the way. Not to mention I'm the one who pulled you out of the watergate before you were eaten".

Another few seconds of silence, which was followed by a sarcastic nasal laugh. He shook his head and hung it low to the floor.

"Oh, you want a prize for that? Because I remember clearly when I didn't ask for your help!" His words were harsh, even if not intended.

But now you were the one who didn't know what to say. Until you feel the bitter taste on your tongue.

"Guess I should've let them rip your skin apart, then".

He saw the door shutting in front of him, cursing himself for being extremely idiotic and insensitive. He almost felt like punching his own face for that.

Steve heard you talking to Eddie that night through your walkie talkie. It was a little bit hard to hear because the reception was static for you. But you could listen to Eddie and God, you missed him and the others. It started to become unbearable to live with Steve. He heard you lament the whole situation, complaining about the way you were treating each other.

He was bitter about the things they were going through. He was angry he couldn't have done more. And he was taking it out all on you. He couldn't face another apology on the same day, because he knew he didn't deserve to be forgiven. Not right now.

The next day, he made breakfast by himself. It took you by surprise, but by the time you were up, he had already eaten. And you wouldn't want to eat with him either. You remember Nancy saying the bickering was just "sexual tension" but you knew it didn't have anything to do with that.

Even though you felt your ears burning from the thought, you couldn't deny to yourself that he was pretty charming. And seeing him shirtless whenever he would change the gauze made you feel weird. God, his hair was always pretty while yours looked like a bird nest after waking up.

The day seemed to have lasted longer since you haven't exchanged a single word to each other. He was focused on watching movies, playing video games and listening to music. He was getting bored out of his mind, but there wasn't much he could do being injured.

You, on the other hand, went out to do some errands. In fact, you didn't care you left him alone. You were getting tired of staying inside. So you went to see Max, and invited her to eat at Burger King. She seemed to feel better to do something like that too. Everything seemed pretty fuzzy lately.

Will, Mike and Eleven were pretty close to Hawkins. Thanks to Argyle who thinks he's a speed racer, and Jonathan who encourages him to drive long hours so they can arrive as soon as possible.

It was almost 7 PM when you came back home. You've finally had some fun after a week. You obviously couldn't be going out since they still haven't found Vecna and he knows about you too. The man in front of you seemed pretty pissed that he didn't see you were out until he woke up two hours ago.

"What? Don't give me that father look" You dropped your backpack on the floor and followed upstairs.

He's got a whole show prepared and he wasn't feeling like he would regret it this time.

"You know you can't just fucking go out and yet, you still do" He walked behind you, like a mother scolding a child.

"Yeah, dad. I know so. But here I am, back in pieces" You turned on your heel to look at him before closing your door.

Much to your dismay, he was faster this time, holding it with his right foot and right hand. Even injured, he was still stronger than you.

"No, don't push it. You can be an easy target for him, you know that?"

You huff, dropping your arm to your side. "Look, Harrington. I'm an adult, and I'm very aware of what I do or don't do. So please, just stop making a scene and leave me the fuck alone".

Steve couldn't even stand arguing with you anymore, it was so tiring. But he knew he would blame himself if something ever happened to you out there. He couldn't let this happen to you, even though you've been annoying him for whatever reason.

He took a step towards you, his hands balling into fists. The way your eyes were boring into him in an unamused face irritated him even more.

"Look, honey" His tone was purely sarcastic and you felt it not only in his voice, but in his demeanor too. "You know you're putting yourself at risk doing that. If I'm not fucking sure you're safe as well, I won't live with that".

At each passing second, you could feel him walking to you, but you couldn't walk back. You couldn't run from him, you couldn't get away from him. You wouldn't, you didn't feel like you wanted to.

"And not just because of my friends, they sure would kill me. But because I couldn't lose another person" You feel his breathing hitting your face, his eyes flicking as he looks at you.

He looks down at you with such intensity, it's crazy how there's a magnetic pull towards him.

You hold his gaze, feeling a cold shiver down your spine. He didn't look like he was about to snap at you, even though his tone was a bit loud.

He furrows his brows when he sees your lip curling into a smirk. "Well, Steve" His fingers move by the sound of his name, you always call him Harrington. "I thought you didn't care if I died or not".

This time, he was the one to smirk at you. "Honey, I don't remember saying I never cared about you".

Your stomach sank at that. Because now as you think of it, it comes crashing down as a realization that he never really said anything related to that. He truly never spoke about it.

"Doesn't seem like it"

"You see, this is why you annoy me so much" His nose bumps into yours, but he still gazes at you like he doesn't mean to avoid eye contact.

"Yeah? Then you should–" He doesn't let you finish your sentence.

Steve crashes his lips against yours, his hands flying down your hips. He feels your immediate reaction as you don't correspond right away. For a few seconds, he thinks he's done the wrong thing and almost regrets it, until you grab him by the neck with both hands. You wrap your fingers around his neck, your fingertips grazing the nape of his hair.

Your lips are smacking his lips in a hurry, while he runs a hand to cradle your face. He slips his tongue into your mouth and holds his breath when he feels your tongue moving in sync with him. He doesn't want to admit this is what he wished he could've done before.

Steve has been so stressed lately that he could only think about defeating Vecna. He didn't realize how much you were willing to take care of him these weeks. All he knew was that he also had to take care of you. And this is why he became so angry when you left without him knowing.

Especially because if something did happen to you, he would feel the regret of being an asshole to you.

He rips a low whimper from you when he gently grasps your lower lip by his teeth as he heaves against your mouth. You're both too absorbed into your own feelings, leaving grunts and gripping each other everywhere.

His fingers were digging your skin every time you would kiss his jawline and he was growing eager. He didn't want to look like he was trying to take advantage of you, only noticing now how much you also wanted this.

He then roughly pulls your shirt off, watching as your chest is quickly rising and falling. And his eyes sparkled when he saw your cleavage for the first time like that. Your bra perfectly hugging your round big breasts.

Steve didn't wait any longer, holding your waist and pushing you back against your bed.

That night, he pounded on you just like you dreamed about. He slapped his hips against your ass just like you wished someone would one day. The air was filled with sounds and lust.

You didn't even notice when your friends arrived right after he had an orgasm. You didn't have time to get dressed, only getting caught when Robin opened the door to you both naked. He didn't have time to remove his condom. She saw you naked. And worse. She saw her best friend naked.

And you thought it was going to be awkward, until Eddie turned the awkwardness into "I knew these idiots would fuck".

The night was all about this. They decided to leave the Vecna subject for the next day.

[ivesambrose]

OCTOBER 2024 MINI MESSAGES 🧡

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Picture 1

its likely you might feel as though you're pushed to the forefront and are in the limelight or have finally decided to be brave about it. You'll be focused on your public image, long term career goals as well as the friends you keep associating with. Do they really empower you? Stand by you? Encourage you? Or keep filling your head with their own projections that deter you from your growth. You can look forward to a better community for yourself it may not come through fully this month for some of you, but sometimes having the awareness that this is the vision and reality you see for yourself does more than half of the work for you. You'll feel inspired to travel, pursue certain goals or see the earlier roadblocks slowly clear out for you. Keep in mind not to overwork yourself or be manipulated by someone to stretch yourself thin for their sake with little to no benefit of your own. There are some people namely at a higher place of authority than you are who are scared of your success and your ability to be authentic, cultivate friendships or be a good leader by yourself and they'll try to bring you down to 'show you your place' it's far from the truth. This month might end on a note of a new and better opportunity being presented to you, a gift, a sudden increase in finances or an idea that if nurtured will lead to something a lot bigger and fruitful. Know that you're in charge of your reality not the people who are bystanders in it.

Picture 2

so much to learn and so many ideas and thoughts to communicate this month. Write them all down and share them either with a trusted person or maybe even the world. Write and speak so you can heal and undo the knots in your heart. Cry if you must it's okay to let go of the burden of keeping a brave demeanor. You'll be having potential breakthroughs this month, almost overnight ones. You're about to do something unconventional in the long run but that too will require a certain discipline from your side so it becomes a daily ritual for you and then your lifestyle. You'll be really focused on your health and health goals as well. Some of you might get into a commitment with someone or will be soon or someone wants to be romantically involved with you for the long term. They compliment your energy will, someone whose willing to water you to see you bloom. Be wary of overwhelming yourself with too much content or information. You really don't need all that. Allow your subconscious to only absorb what it is that you want in your reality. The habits you cultivate this month will set the tone for the coming months too. You'll end the month on a note of getting better at something or achieving a goal that you have spent the most of the year on and celebrating it finally.

Picture 3

Your imagination does indeed create your reality and you'll be shown proper evidence of that this month. A lot of heightened awareness, intuition, prophetic or symbolic dreams that in turn fuel your creativity. You'll be self soothing a lot this month there's also a focus on your gut health and habits as well that you'll be changing. You'll also be receiving an opportunity through your creativity to travel or learn about different cultures, people and places. I also see you feeling closer to your mother or a female/maternal figure or a friend in your life. I feel like some of you have been hyper independent for so long and have burned so many bridges that when tenderness or loving connections knock on your door you refuse to see it. Please bring your awareness and intention to finally receiving what you've long asked for. You'll be receiving the love, friendships and opportunities you have asked for, I really suggest you remove the part of you that is hell bent on being an 'avoidant' because that will lead you nowhere but to the same state that made you so low to begin with. This month ends on things gaining momentum for you, like whatever you started is progressing to the next phase, launching something or even foreign travel. Things are set in motion. You will, inevitably cut through your obstacles. Rest assured.

[thewulf]

Until the Morning Light || Aragorn

Summary: Request - I wanted to see if I could request an Aragorn x reader. You don’t have to write anything! No pressure <3 It is a bit cheesy, so…Maybe something where they started having strong feelings for each other during their travels to destroy the ring and are so desperately longing after the other, just that they never confess and even the encouragement of the fellowship doesn’t help... Read Rest Here

A/N: Gosh I just adore this man! Thank you for the request always!!

Pairing: Aragorn x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k +

TW: Violence, orc violence, death, blood, crying, angst, Battle of Helm's Deep, lotr warnings

Born under the vast skies of Rohan you grew up amidst the rolling plains and the echoing calls of horses. From a young age you were not just a child of the land but its protector, honing your skills with a blade as well as you could listen to the whispers of the earth. Your heart was fiercely loyal and brave and tempered by the tender tales of your mother. She bestowed upon you a rare gift, a deep connection with nature that allowed you to sense and communicate with the world around you in ways few others could.

This unique ability was distinct from the innate affinity that elves hold with the forests and rivers. Unlike the elves whose communion often involves a harmonious coexistence and a capability to influence nature’s growth and health your gift did not extend to bending the will of the woods or the waters. Instead, it manifested as an intimate understanding. An almost magical perception that let you hear the secrets of leaves rustling in the wind and feel the subtle shifts of the earth beneath your feet. It was a communion, but of a different kind. A silent dialogue that did not seek to alter but to understand and empathize, providing guidance and comfort where it was most needed.

Such a profound connection to nature brought with it a heightened awareness of the creeping darkness that threatened to engulf Middle earth. The very land you communicated with now echoed with the distress of encroaching evil. A warning you felt deep in your bones. It was during this time of growing shadows that tragedy struck your life profoundly. You lost a beloved family member to the dark forces spreading across the land. An event that shattered the peace of your world but also forged a new resolve within you. Carrying the weight of this loss, you vowed with a heart heavy yet unyielding to protect your homeland and its people. This vow was sacred and resolute. It sharpened your resolve as much as your blade and became the echo of your every step on the path of the Fellowship.

It was during these turbulent times that Gandalf the Grey came to your village. The wise wizard saw in you not just a skilled warrior but a unique spirit whose abilities were as rare as they were needed. With words as compelling as the winds of your homeland he requested your presence in the Fellowship. "Middle-earth needs hearts like yours," he said. His eyes twinkling with a mixture of seriousness and kindness.

Thus, with a heart full of resolve and a spirit called to a greater cause, you joined the Fellowship. Not just to honor your vow but to fulfill a destiny that seemed written in the very leaves of the trees you so loved. As you set out from Rohan the wind seemed to carry whispers of encouragement and the land itself seemed to nod in approval. Its daughter now a guardian in its most desperate hour.

Upon your arrival at the rendezvous point where the Fellowship was gathering you were immediately aware of the intense gazes of many. Their eyes scrutinizing every new face—evaluating, assessing. Yet, when you first met Aragorn his gaze was different. It was calm, welcoming, devoid of any judgment that demanded you prove your worth. He seemed to see right through the facade that others often expected you to wear. The mask of a warrior constantly proving herself. Instead, Aragorn acknowledged your capabilities as if they were as clear to him as the daylight.

As you both shared the duties of setting up camp that first evening Aragorn asked you about your journey from Rohan. His genuine interest was refreshing, and soon you found yourself teaching him about the unique properties of the athelas plant found in your homeland. Its healing powers far greater when used with the right incantations. A secret you had kept closely guarded. To your surprise he not only listened intently but also shared his own knowledge creating a beautiful exchange of wisdom.

As the journey progressed Aragorn often sought your company for the watch shifts. During these quiet hours under the vast, starlit sky, you both would sit by the fire. The crackling flames casting flickering shadows on your faces. It was here in the solitude of the night that you shared stories of your pasts. You spoke of your family in Rohan. Of the laughter and tears of your childhood and the deep connection you felt with the land.

Aragorn, in turn, shared tales of his travels. The burdens he carried and the hopes he harbored for peace in middle earth. These exchanges that were filled with laughter and sometimes a comfortable silence laid a strong foundation for your growing affection. There was an ease between you. A mutual respect that flourished without the need for words making each shared moment a treasure.

One evening deep into the journey after a particularly taxing day when tensions within the Fellowship seemed to strain the very air around you Aragorn noticed your weariness. Without a word he took up your watch insisting you rest. "We all have our strengths," he said softly with a gentle smile playing on his lips. "Tonight, let me watch over you." It was a simple act. But in that moment his kindness felt soothing to your soul. It solidified a bond that was quickly becoming as vital as the quest itself.

These moments under the stars with Aragorn where you didn't have to prove yourself but were simply accepted were what you cherished most. They were reminders that in the looming shadow of war there existed moments of peace and deep, unspoken understanding.

Aragorn's presence became a constant in your days and you found yourself increasingly seeking his company. Whether strategizing for the next leg of the journey or sharing a quiet moment away from the rest of the group his steady demeanor brought a comforting consistency to the unpredictable days. After a particularly fierce skirmish against a roving band of orcs you sustained a slight wound. Aragorn was quick to your side. His fingers skilled and gentle as he tended to the injury. His touch was always gentle and careful. It sparked an unfamiliar warmth in your chest. His concerned eyes meeting yours with an intensity that made your heart skip.

As Aragorn wrapped your wound Legolas strolled over with an amused twinkle in his eye. "I see our esteemed leader has found yet another calling… nursing the wounded with such tender care," he commented lightly. His gaze flickering between you and Aragorn with a knowing smile. Aragorn responded with a dismissive grunt. His cheeks tinged with a faint blush, but his eyes remained warm and soft as they met yours again.

Gimli has overheard the exchange and joined in with a hearty laugh. "Ah, but it's a good thing we have Aragorn for both fighting and mending. Saves us calling for Elrond every time someone gets a scratch!" he boomed before clapping Aragorn on the back with such force that it drew a surprised smile from the usually reserved ranger.

This playful banter brought a light-hearted moment to the group easing the tension of the long journey. Later that evening as you sat by the campfire the teasing continued. Gimli’s loud snoring eventually became the subject of jest, and you all shared a hearty laugh. Emboldened by the relaxed atmosphere you nearly confessed your growing feelings to Aragorn. But just as you gathered your courage he turned contemplative, his gaze lost to the horizon.

"I sometimes wonder what lies ahead for all of us," he said softly. A distant look in his eyes. "The weight of this quest, it's much to bear—for all of us." His words were heavy with the burden of leadership and the uncertainty of the future, and they momentarily stalled your confession.

Despite this the bond between you only deepened, strengthened by each shared challenge and quiet moment of understanding. Legolas and Gimli’s lighthearted teasing served as a gentle reminder of the friendship and affection that blossomed even in the darkest of times, adding a touch of warmth to the journey's cold nights.

As you and the Fellowship arrive at Helm's Deep the air is thick with the weight of impending conflict. The massive stone walls of the fortress loom over you, their stark, gray surfaces a harsh reminder of the battle that awaits. Shadows stretch long across the ground as the sun dips below the horizon casting an ominous glow that barely penetrates the gathering dusk.

Around you, soldiers move with a sense of urgency. Their faces set in grim determination. The clanging of armor and the sharp ring of sword against stone fill your ears. A constant reminder of the stakes at play. Despite the hustle and bustle a heavy silence hangs over the assembled troops, each person lost in their own thoughts of the coming night. The air is cool and carries a hint of moisture. The breeze whispering through the battlements as if in mourning for lives yet to be lost.

In all of this your gaze finds Aragorn. His expression is one of resolve marked by the burdens of leadership and the knowledge of what everyone is fighting for. His presence is a steady force amid the chaos, and you feel a strange mixture of comfort and unease as you stand beside him knowing the challenge that lies ahead.

In the midst of this anxious bustle your childhood friend, a charismatic warrior named Ealdred from your village, unexpectedly arrives to aid in the battle. His arrival brings a sudden surge of warmth to the cold stone surroundings of Helm's Deep. As soon as Ealdred sees you his face lights up with a wide, infectious smile and he strides over with open arms.

His greeting is loud and joyous in the subdued murmurs of the assembling warriors. "Ah, if it isn’t the bravest shield-maiden of Rohan!" he exclaims while enveloping you in a hearty hug that lifts you slightly off your feet. The familiarity and comfort of his embrace, reminiscent of your shared past filled with training and childhood adventures, momentarily lift your spirits.

Laughter rolls easily from Ealdred as he sets you down. His presence a stark contrast to the tense air around. "I told myself I wouldn't miss a chance to fight alongside you again," he chuckles before clapping you on the shoulder with a warrior's camaraderie. The sincerity in his voice and the joy in his eyes are a balm to the unease that has been gnawing at you since your arrival at the fortress.

From a short distance away, Aragorn watches this reunion unfold with a complex whirl of emotions. He notices the brightness in your smile. A glow he has seldom seen during the long and perilous journey. Your eyes sparkle with laughter, reflecting a happiness that stirs a pang in his heart. The ease of your interaction with Ealdred, the way your body leans slightly towards him in familiarity and comfort, does not escape Aragorn’s keen observation.

Each laugh shared between you and Ealdred, each nostalgic look exchanged, seems to draw a line of subtle tension through Aragorn. He tries to focus on the preparations at hand, but his gaze involuntarily drifts back to you. The way Ealdred's hand lingers on your back, the warm, open smiles, the apparent joy of your reunion… it all fans a flame of jealousy that Aragorn struggles to suppress.

Though he attempts to dismiss these feelings as trivial they gnaw at him with an intensity that surprises him. The sight of your unabashed happiness with someone else plants seeds of doubt and worry that even the din of the oncoming storm cannot drown. The moment crystallizes something crucial within him. The realization of how deep his feelings for you have grown and how much he fears the possibility of not being the one who brings such joy to your eyes.

As you and Ealdred laugh over shared memories such as recalling the escapades of your youth in Rohan, his arm casually drapes around your shoulders in a brotherly gesture. The familiarity and ease between you two are evident. But to an observer like Aragorn each laugh, and touch seem to whisper of something more.

From his vantage point Aragorn watches the interaction his chest tightening inexplicably with each passing moment. The way Ealdred looks at you with such open admiration and joy, ignites a flame of jealousy in Aragorn’s heart that he can neither quench nor fully understand. His grip tightens on the hilt of his sword. A subconscious echo of the turmoil brewing within him.

Ealdred, ever observant, catches the intensity of Aragorn's gaze from across the way. With a mischievous glint in his eye, he leans closer to you, lowering his voice so only you can hear. "I believe the great ranger isn't just watching out for danger, you know," he teases nodding subtly towards Aragorn. "The way he looks at you... it’s as if he’s trying to will you to notice him. Quite the admirer, our King-to-be, wouldn’t you say?"

Your eyes widen slightly. The comment catching you off-guard. For a moment you're lost in thought considering Ealdred's words. You glance over at Aragorn observing his now averted gaze, the stoic mask momentarily fallen, revealing a hint of vulnerability. The idea of Aragorn, a king, having such feelings for you seems almost unfathomable. Yet the possibility stirs a flutter of excitement deep within.

Laughing softly, you shake your head trying to mask your sudden nervousness with humor. "Oh, Ealdred, don't be silly. Aragorn and I—we're just friends," you reply though your voice lacks conviction. "Besides, how could a king ever see anything in someone like me? I’m just a warrior from Rohan. Certainly not a lady of court."

Ealdred gives you a knowing look, his smile suggesting he sees right through your casual dismissal. "Well, even the mightiest kings need true friends and perhaps something more," he murmurs while giving you a playful wink before turning his attention back to the bustling activity around Helm's Deep. “Go to him, I will see you around.” He gives you a push.

As Ealdred walks away you're left with a curious mix of doubt and wonder, pondering his words. The thought lingers in your mind mingling with the echoes of what might be unspoken truths between you and Aragorn. The idea feels both impossible and thrilling, setting your heart racing as you watch Aragorn commanding his men with natural authority. Could there really be more to your friendship? The question hangs in the air, unanswered but increasingly impossible to ignore. Of course, you wanted more but when you learned of his destiny not so long ago you let those thoughts fall away.

Meanwhile, Legolas and Gimli, having observed Aragorn’s unusual demeanor, seize the opportunity for a bit of light-hearted ribbing. "Come now, Aragorn," Legolas chides with a graceful arch of his eyebrow, "your warrior's stare is more intense than any orc's glare we've encountered. And far more directed at our friend than any foe."

Gimli chortles, adding his own gruff commentary. "Lad, you're as subtle as a dwarf in an elf’s dance," he laughs before slapping Aragorn on the back. "Even the blind could see the way you look at her!"

Aragorn was caught between his role as a leader and his personal turmoil and offers only a rare, tight-lipped scowl in response. Though the corners of his mouth twitch, betraying a reluctant amusement at his friends' observations.

Once the teasing subsides Aragorn's gaze drifts back to you, now mingling with a quiet reflection. The light-hearted jests of his companions echo in his mind, stirring a resolve. Perhaps it was time to confront these feelings. To explore the truth behind the glances, the smiles, and the unspoken yearning that had begun to shape his heart. As night falls over Helm's Deep, the looming battle stirs a newfound courage within him. A courage not just to fight enemies, but perhaps to also voice the truth of his heart.

As the day before the battle approaches the air at Helm's Deep grows tense, filled with the weight of impending conflict. Soldiers go about their final preparations. Their movements sharp and focused, while commanders issue last-minute orders with stern expressions. In this bustle, Aragorn finds himself repeatedly glancing your way. His usual calm demeanor overshadowed by a restless concern that has little to do with the battle strategies at hand.

Finally, unable to contain the turmoil stirring within him, Aragorn approaches you. His stride is purposeful yet there's a hesitation in his eyes that you've seldom seen. "I need to speak with you," he says, his voice low, drawing you away from the others under the pretext of discussing the morrow's tactics.

You follow him to a quieter part of the fortress where the sounds of preparation are but distant echoes. As you stand there facing him in the dim light of the torches, Aragorn seems to struggle with his words. His gaze intense and searching.

"A moment ago, I was thinking about our positions for the battle," Aragorn begins, his tone tentative. "But truthfully, that's not why I asked you here." He takes a deep breath. His hands clenching and then relaxing at his sides. "I... I've noticed a distance growing between us while we’ve been here, one that wasn't there before. And I fear," he pauses, his voice tightening, "I fear it might be due to misunderstandings... emotions left unspoken." His admission hangs between you, stark and revealing. The air feels heavier as if charged with the gravity of his words. His eyes never leave yours, seeking, perhaps, a sign of your feelings.

You feel a knot form in your throat. Your own emotions a whirlwind of confusion and revelation. The thought that Aragorn might share even a fraction of the feelings you've struggled to hide sends a shiver through you. But there's also fear—fear of what such an admission means in the face of the darkness that might claim tomorrow.

"Aragorn," you start, your voice barely above a whisper, "I... I've also felt something change. But I believed you saw me only as a… friend in battle, nothing more. With the shadow of war over us I thought it best to keep my feelings to myself." Your confession feels like shedding armor you didn't realize you were wearing, leaving you exposed but strangely free.

Aragorn steps closer. His presence enveloping you in a sense of warmth and safety that contradicts the coldness of Helm's Deep. "I have long admired you, more than as a friend," he confesses, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "But I too feared to speak, to disrupt the bond we have with uncertainties of heart. Yet on the eve of such uncertainty… I find that silence is a greater burden than the risk of sorrow."

The distance between you diminishes with his words bridging gaps formed by unspoken doubts. As you look up into Aragorn's eyes, reflecting both the torchlight and his earnestness, you realize that regardless of what the morrow holds, this moment—honest and raw—has changed something fundamental between you. No longer just allies but something deeper. A connection forged not just in the heat of battle but in the vulnerability of shared hearts.

The emotional confrontation beneath the shadowed walls of Helm’s Deep leaves the air between you and Aragorn charged with newfound understanding and fragile hope. As the initial shock of your mutual confessions fades, the reality of the coming dawn—laden with the uncertainty of battle—sets in, lending a poignant urgency to your words and thoughts.

Aragorn’s eyes that reflected a mix of resolve and tenderness, lock with yours. “We stand on the brink of war, a war that may consume us all,” he says, his voice steady despite the turmoil you know roils beneath. “But this moment… this truth between us, cannot be overshadowed by what tonight may bring.”

You nod feeling the weight of every word. His hand was still holding yours. He squeezes gently trying to ground you. “I have carried this in my heart, thinking it unwise to speak, fearing the complications it might bring,” you admit. Your own voice stronger than you feel. “But now, facing the unknown, I see only the folly in silence. My heart, just like yours, cannot bear the burden of what-ifs.”

Aragorn’s face softens. The warrior’s mask yielding to the man beneath. “Then let us make a promise,” he proposes. His gaze searching yours for hesitation. Finding none, he continues, “If we survive this war, if fate grants us passage through this darkness, I promise to explore this path with you. To see where our hearts might lead us, unburdened by duty.”

Moved by his words you feel a resolve awaken within you. “I promise, too,” you respond, the night air around you bearing witness. “To find you again. In a world at peace and discover the depth of what we might become together.”

The pact, sealed with the sincerity of shared heartbeats, seems to carve out a small sanctuary against the chaos of the impending battle. As you both stand together the day turns to night and the distant sounds of the encroaching army grow louder, yet, in this secluded moment, there’s a sense of peace. An oasis of calm before the storm.

Aragorn gently lifts your hand to his lips. His kiss a feather-light promise against your skin. “No matter what comes,” he whispers, his breath warm against your fingers, “know that tonight has changed everything.”

As you part ways to prepare for the night ahead, each step back to your respective duties is reluctant but necessary. The promise of a future, however uncertain, fuels a quiet courage in your heart. A courage not just to fight, but to survive, to return, to begin anew.

The stars overhead that were witnesses to your solemn exchange, twinkle with a hopeful light. They cast a soft glow over Helm’s Deep. In the quiet before the battle, you hold onto the memory of Aragorn’s words, the warmth of his touch, and the promise of tomorrow. A tomorrow where you might explore the uncharted paths of both peace and passion.

And in the quiet before the storm with the world held at bay, it is enough.

As night envelops Helm's Deep, the distant roar of the approaching enemy fills the air. A grim reminder of the battle that lies ahead. The walls were thick with the tension of awaiting warriors and bristle with weapons as the moonlight casts long shadows across the battlements. You take your place among the defenders. The weight of your armor familiar and reassuring against the chill of the morning.

Across the way, Aragorn readies himself for combat. His eyes briefly meeting yours across the crowded space. In that fleeting glance you find a silent exchange of resolve and reassurance. A mutual understanding that whatever the day brings, you are not alone.

The battle erupts with the thunderous sound of orc drums and the clamor of arms. Waves of enemies crash against the fortress's defenses. Each assault more ferocious than the last. Amidst the chaos you find yourself fighting back-to-back with Aragorn. Each move synchronized with an instinctual precision that speaks of your deep connection. His presence by your side is both a comfort and a spur pushing you to fight with a fierceness you hadn't known you possessed.

As you parry and thrust Aragorn covers your flank. His swordplay a seamless dance of deadly grace. Every time an orc breaks through the line threatening to overwhelm you, Aragorn is there, his blade swift and sure. In return you guard his back with equal vigilance, your own combat skills honed by years of training now coupled with a personal drive to protect him at all costs.

From the corner of your eye, you catch brief glimpses of Legolas and Gimli, their unique partnership effective and deadly against the enemy. Despite the severity of the battle, you see Legolas shoot a quick, satisfied glance towards you and Aragorn, a small smirk playing on his lips as he loses another arrow into the horde. Gimli, engaged in a competition of his own with the elf, nonetheless nods approvingly in your direction after cleaving another orc with his axe.

The battle rages on. Each moment a blur of sound, motion, and adrenaline. But within this turmoil your bond with Aragorn becomes your strength. When fatigue begins to claw at your limbs it is his steadfast presence that reignites your resolve. When despair whispers in the shadows of your mind it is the promise of a future together that keeps the darkness at bay.

As the tide of the battle shifts with every orc felled and every moment you and Aragorn continue to stand, the hope for victory grows. It was fueled not just by the strength of arms but by the power of the unity you have forged in the heart of conflict. The knowledge that someone fights beside you not just for the fate of middle earth but for the promise of a shared tomorrow is more potent than any weapon forged by dwarves or elves. Together, you fight not only to protect Helm's Deep but to preserve the future that you vowed to explore. In the heat of battle that promise binds you ever closer. A promise that against all odds you will survive to see what lies beyond the war.

As the echoes of battle fade and the sun begins to rise over the now-quiet walls of Helm’s Deep, the air is filled with the heavy scent of rain and renewal. The fortress, though scarred by the night’s ferocity, stands resilient. A showing of the courage of those who defended it. Among the weary soldiers there’s a palpable sense of relief mixed with sorrow for those lost. A bittersweet victory.

In the aftermath as others tend to the wounded and recount the close calls you find yourself seeking out Aragorn. You find him standing alone looking out over the battlements at the dawning day. His profile etched against the lightening sky. His stance is one of a man who has carried too much, seen too much, yet stands ready to face whatever comes next.

Approaching quietly, you stop beside him, sharing the view in silence. After a moment he looks down at you, his eyes reflecting the myriad emotions of the night. Without a word he takes your hand. His grip firm and warm, anchoring you both in the now.

“Aragorn,” you begin but he shakes his head slightly, asking you to stop.

“Let me speak before the world rushes back in,” he says softly. His gaze holds yours, intense and unwavering. “Last night in the middle of this mess I realized something beyond the fear of losing what is precious. I realized what it means to truly love.”

He pauses, searching your face for understanding. “I have loved before,” he continues, “but never like this. Never with such clarity and raw hope. Last night I fought not just for middle earth but for the chance to see what lies ahead with you.”

Tears gather in your eyes as his words wash over you. Each one landing with the weight and warmth of a cherished caress. He continues as he uses his thumbs to wipe away your shed and unshed tears. “You have given me a reason to fight. A reason to return no matter the odds. And if this battle has taught me anything it is that I want to face whatever comes next. Not as a king. Not as a ranger. But as a man hopelessly in love with you.”

Aragorn's confession was simple yet profound. It stirred something deep within you. A surge of love and commitment that mirrors his own. You step closer diminishing the space between you and rest your head against his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart. “And I, too, want nothing more than to face the world with you, Aragorn. To build a life where love is our strength.”

Aragorn begins to speak, his voice low and filled with emotion, confessing his love and the revelation that had come to him amidst the chaos of battle. But as he speaks, something within you stirs. A fierce, overwhelming rush of feeling, amplified by the adrenaline that still courses through your veins.

Before he can finish you close the distance between you were driven by a surge of emotions too powerful to contain. Your hands find his face pulling him down towards you, and your lips meet his in a kiss that is anything but gentle. It's a kiss full of life, of survival, of shared battles and shared dreams. Your bodies press together, each curve and angle molding into the other, as if you could somehow merge into one being united against whatever may come.

Aragorn responds with equal fervor his arms wrapping around you to lift you slightly off the ground deepening the kiss with a passion that mirrors your own. His touch is both a claim and a surrender. A recognition of the bond that has been forged in the heat of battle and sealed in the quiet of dawn.

As you finally part, breathless and hearts pounding, you rest your forehead against his, eyes still closed as you savor the closeness. "I love you," you whisper. The words barely audible but heavy with meaning. "I fought for this, for us."

"And I," Aragorn replies. His breath warm against your lips, "will continue to fight for every day we have together. For a chance to love you as you deserve, fiercely and freely, without the shadow of war."

The promise hangs between you profound and sacred. As you step back still encircled by his arms the world around you seems to awaken. The sounds of the fortress stirring to life, the calls of soldiers and the distant cries of those mourning their fallen. It all fades into the background as you look up at him, seeing not just the warrior or the king but the man who holds your heart.

The sun was now fully above the horizon. It bathes you both in golden light, its rays like a benediction over your newfound commitment. You prepare to face the new day with him. Not just as survivors but as partners bound by love. Each beat of your hearts proof to the battles you’ve endured and the future you will fight for together.

(Taglist Sign Up): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @guacam011y @illisea @il0vebeingdelulu @hiireadstuff @kenn-spencerswifey @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @dnfhascorruptedme 

[botanybulbasaur]

Schneider's family ; The significance of Marian

REVERSE 1999 SPOILERS AHEAD : FOR CHAPTERS 1 AND 2 ! Please tread carefully and make sure you only read about what you're willing to know.

I know we're all still completely in shambles from Chap. 2, but I wanted to make a speculation about Schneider-- and a comment about how well she's written !

Let me start with this: In many pieces of media, viewers, listeners and readers alike are told that a character has people they care for. They're told a character has a lover, a wife, kids, a family, a sister. We're told the same about Schneider: that she has 11 older siblings, and that she works in the mafia to support them.

However, it's very rarely that we're given a name and a face for these supposed loved ones. And even rarer is it that they're written well, not just as a ploy for empathy, but as their own character: Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed guests: I present to you, Marian.

Marian is one of my favorite characters just as a stand-alone: she's realistic, she's anxious, she clings to Schneider like a lifeline-- but she's brave, too. I'd love to do an in-depth analysis on her another time, but we're here for another reason.

Marian, first of all, shows us what Schneider's family is like. How they were raised, what they believe in, who they depend on. Soft topic, I know, but as someone of Italian lineage, it's very important to me that I point this out: Marian is extremely religious.

Immigrants of every kind tend to be religious. It gives them much more faith than they ever could have: a new lifeline. They managed to make it across such a winding sea? Oh, thank the lord. They haven't been kicked out of the Americas for emigration? Thank you, holy one. There's so many more reasons for this than "they need something they don't have"- maybe the fact that the rendition of god in every religion is said to love everybody, not just those who were born into wealthy families with the bluest eyes and the blondest hair.

When in a moment with no reason, and all different kinds of desperate measures being needed.. Schneider does what her family coaxes her to. She prays.

(I can't find a screenshot, but please refer to the iconic "I didn't know you prayed" scene, and the screenshot directly below this sentence.)

I also want to point out a large difference between Schneider and her family: Schneider's perspective on a 'god' differs so, so much from her family's.

She looks to whoever may be above, in her world, scornfully-- at least, in the present day. In her past, there is a particularly impactful line I want to debunk.

"The god there ... loves the world." Schnider's family seems to believe that god was the one guiding them, the one who will forgive them-- Schneider believed that it was a whole different entity. This kid believes that the god in Sicily, whoever they may be, does not love the world-- and mio dio, if that's not fucked up, I don't know what is.

And, when Schneider comes to America and sees that shit isn't as it's cut off to be, she's resentful of whoever this god may be. She gives a pray as her last bet-- what her family wants.

And it's not that she doesn't believe in this god-- no. She just doesn't believe they love her.

"Finally forgive me" -- Finally being the key word here. She's lived all her life never being treated to mercy or being 'forgiven for her sins' -- and at her most fragile, exposed moment, she relents to what her family has taught her. To what she truly believes-- to Sicily, to Marian, her sorella. Maybe even all 11 sorelle and her parents.

And, again, they're different at face value. Marian is calm, kind. She dresses modest and has her hair grown out: she's timid, too, not befitting of a mafia boss. She's different from her younger sister.. but she's still important. She shows us another side of Schneider: and, more importantly, she shows us what-- no, who Schneider is fighting for.

Marian provides us with extremely beneficial background context of where Schneider comes from-- and, in that process, gives many of us someone to empathize with. Yes, I too know somebody at least a little like her. You do too, likely.

Maybe, you're even like Schneider-- maybe she's someone you'd aim to protect.

,,aaand that's the little lore rant. Whew! Now to study for my math finals. I hope you have a good day :)

[backslashdelta]

Blaine-friendly Kurtbastian Fic Recs

Putting a list together for @fallevs, but I hope this will be useful for anyone who wants to dip their toes into Kurtbastian fanfiction but doesn't want to read anything anti-Blaine! Everything included in this list will either not include Blaine at all, or if he is in the fic, it will be neutral or friendly toward him.

I've tried to include a wide range of words counts as well, so that you can start with something short and sweet or dive into something big, whatever you feel like. If anyone else has some recommendations to add, please feel free to reblog this list and add more!

Europe Is Our Playground by @glitterdammerung - 53,430 words

Summary: Eight years and half the world away from home, a chance encounter in a Paris club leads Kurt and Sebastian - each running from the ghosts of their pasts - into the diversion of chasing each other across Europe.

(Let's give them) Something to talk about by MemeKonGlee - 20,529 words

Summary: “I need you to—” “I heard you the first time,” Kurt interrupts, putting his fork and knife down on his plate and pushing his half-finished pancakes aside. “What I meant was: what the hell?” He points towards the neglected pancakes, trying to stall in the face of Kurt’s reaction. “Are you sure you don’t wanna finish that first?” The look in Kurt's eyes tells him in no uncertain terms that no, he doesn't want to finish his pancakes, Jesus. And so Sebastian has no option but to take a deep breath in, exhale slowly through his mouth and just… get on with it, internally cringing at how unbelievably ridiculous it all sounds when he puts it in words, all out there for the world (and more importantly, Kurt fucking Hummel) to judge. It all boils down to: I fucked up and I'm too proud to deal with it the mature way.

Safe Mode by flipmeforward - 18,118 words

Summary: An AU in which Kurt and Sebastian never met in high school. Instead, they meet at &brave--an up-and-coming online fashion company where Kurt is the new assistant slash blogger (one day he will figure out a better title), and Sebastian is the less than pleasant tech support guy. Kurt does his best to avoid Sebastian and his rude attitude at all possible costs, but it turns out that technology is not his friend. It also turns out that Sebastian might maybe possibly be (okay, probably is) more than just an annoying coworker.

Come On And Mess Me Up by @pouralittlewater - 215,339 words

Summary: “It’s like...When Harry Met Sally,” Santana told him. “No. That was me and Blaine.” “How? You literally got together in months. You and Sebastian have been skirting the issue for years. This whole “will they, won’t they” thing is getting old.” Or, when Sebastian enrolls in McKinley High and joins Glee right before the duet competition. What Kurt thinks could be the start to a great friendship in gay camaraderie quickly explodes in his face as he realizes being around Sebastian makes him want to set the other boy on fire. However, over time, that feeling dissipates. Even without the title of friendship, the two become ingrained in each other's lives in a way neither ever expected to.

Thunderbolts & Lightning by @alphabees-writes - 1,854 words

Summary: Sebastian has a plan. It goes wrong, and then right, and then wrong again.

tension bars by @cryscendo - 824 words

Summary: Prompt by backslashdelta: kurt, sports!au (gymnastics), exes, “sometimes, i sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different.”

I Want The World To See You'll Be With Me by @backslashdelta (me!) - 2,405 words

Summary: Kurt and Sebastian attend a Christmas party, and Sebastian has a special surprise for Kurt afterward.

Dessert by @nalasan - 1,175 words

Summary: “Oh my God,” Sebastian says, staring at the plate in front of him. “We have to break up.” Kurt, who has just walked into their living room and is still in his winter coat, raises his eyebrow quizzically; his expression more bemused than worried, “And why is that?” “Just look at that,” Sebastian replies, gesturing at the table in front of him like he is seeing it for the first time: the white tablecloth, the candles in their silver candleholders, the white roses in their vase in the middle of the table, and the dinner Sebastian has been preparing since he came home three hours ago.

And Why Is That? by @20xbetterthanu - 41,321 words

Summary: "I love you, and I hate myself for that." "And why is that?" Love hurts.

Note from me: this fic is definitely not anti-Blaine, however it does heavily involve Blaine and he is Not having a good time, so I maybe wouldn't recommend it if you want to avoid him (and the other boys!) being sad.

A Change In The Weather by cacophonylights - 209,414 words

Summary: The summer before college Kurt is shocked when Sebastian comes to him with a timely offer he can’t refuse.  He’ll get something he needs to realize his dreams, but in return he has to play the role of Sebastian’s boyfriend for the summer.  Neither of them know just how much their worlds are about to change. For a GKM prompt.

Note from me: this fic COULD be considered anti-Blaine, but I don't personally consider it to be; it maybe doesn't paint him in the most positive light, but I think it's still neutral enough to be on this list, and it's essentially required reading at this point! Also, it is famously unfinished, but there are a couple fan sequels: ACITW AU by @lady-divine-writes A Drop In The Ocean by @daftydraw and jwmelmoth The ACITW link above is for livejournal, but you can also find the original fic on AO3 in two parts here and here.

[eastwindmlk]

For day 4 of @jilytoberfest I will add to the McGonagall as James' godmother agenda.

939 words under the cut.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of James F Potter and Lily J Evans.

Minerva looked at the silvery stag and doe that pranced along the invitation that she had placed on her desk after breakfast, the attached letter still sealed and waiting. The transfiguration professor was well aware of what opening that letter would do to her sentimental Scottish self.

She had watched these two grow together and had been a driving force behind them being appointed Head boy and girl. If anyone asked, and no one would, she prided herself on having helped kindle their relationship. Offered a guiding hand and subtle encouragement wherever she could. Especially when James would come to her for advice that he pretended was absolutely not about Miss Evans, even when it very clearly was.

As a teacher, Minerva knew not to meddle, but as a godmother, she had a duty to her godson and that was to meddle on behalf of his parents. Though she never offered anything but sound advice.

Perhaps she also convinced Horace to pair them up in potions, but that was neither here nor there.

Despite her best effort not to think about the letter, her students figured out altogether too easily that she was in a particularly good mood. She had to snip at the questions about the good news to get the room back in order.

The longer the day stretched, the more distracted she found herself becoming. During dinner she almost stabbed Alma with her fork as they both reached for the roast carrots and on her way to her room she nearly missed a trick step and stumbled, scraping her knee.

In the light of the candle at her bedside and shifted into the familiar mattress, her fingers feeling the fine parchment she’d learned to associate with the Potter household.

My dearest, godmother,

Minerva would never tire of this little quirk in James’ letters, this little wink that he never failed to open with. She knew he was well aware of the implication, the affection this little gesture and she couldn’t help but feel special in this knowledge.

Enclosed you will find the invitation I am certain you have been eagerly awaiting after the news of our engagement. I also know that you likely do not approve of the length, or lack thereof, of our engagement. I want to assure you that we are being sensible.

We are also young and in love, so please be a little forgiving.

For a moment Minerva considered if she really could be disapproving of this union. She knew it was inevitable and given the times they lived in, she could hardly blame them to cling onto every opportunity to celebrate love and light.

You have always been a guiding hand in my life and I know that Lily feels similarly about you and it would mean the world to us if you would attend.

It is on behalf of my future wife that I now write to you.

She couldn’t help but chuckle at just how eager James seemed to be to call her his wife, there was something incredibly endearing about it. She did wonder what she needed if James was the one asking. Curiosity prickled her into reading further, leaving her theorising for after, if she still needed to.

As you might recall from previous mentions, the relationship with her family has been strained for quite some time now and when I confided my worries with you before even I was not aware of the extent of this. However, it looks like only her father will be willing and able to attend the wedding. I’d hoped that you might be willing to help.

Her heart broke when she read this, the words blurring as her eyes watered. She had only been vaguely aware of the situation while they were still attending school. Minerva knew that some muggleborn families took the news harder and it often reflected in these students finding her office in times of need. She could tell from the questions they asked and how they often oscillated before the brave dared to hug her.

Lily Evans had never been that girl. Or so she thought.

Even if Miss Evans had not been one of her favourite recent graduates, not that she had any, she would have still said yes.

If that is not too much of an imposition I would… It would be a weight off my shoulders. Watching her be turned down by her mother and sister was painful to witness and I am not proud of the things I wanted to tell them. I am even less proud of the fact that I bit my tongue.

It is with a heavy heart and a whole lot of frustration that I admit that I do not know how to make this better.

Minerva could see the spots where his quill nearly punctured the parchment and let her fingers glide over the indents like she could feel the remnants of his frustration still lingering in the words. It was then that she decided that the answer to this letter could not wait until morning. She could barely wait to read the final lines before letting them know.

She dragged her eyes back to the page, fingers twitching impatiently.

Even if you cannot, I know you have some sound advice for me. Should we discuss this over tea? Mother’s honeybees have been rather busy and Lily makes this amazing honey cake. Perhaps I can bribe you with a slice? Or a whole tray if need be?

Ever your devoted godson,

James Potter

[moonstonerain]

I somewhat recovered from the devastating news of YoI Ice Ado cancellation, so to celebrate Yuri on Ice brings me joy day (which should be everyday) I'm writing down my headcanons.

The pets in the YoI universe have the general lifespan of their humans. Pets tend to die days before or after their owners died. Unless they have an accident, or a sickness (poor Vicchan). So essentially Makkachin is in fact immortal.

The YoI universe is kinder: there is no homophobia. I understand that sometimes exploring topics like these in fiction is important, but personally I think there is enough of that in the real world. So I want to believe in at least one universe where people are kinder. Viktor and Yuuri can get married anywhere in the world and it would be recognized. Nobody is bothered by the two being men.

Yuuri Katsuki is not a Viktor Nikiforov fan. He is THE Viktor Nikiforov fan. I'm talking fan accounts where he's protecting Viktor. The posters in his room are just the tip of the iceberg. He has hand fans, body pillows, limited edition bottle of water where Viktor did some promotion. One time he ordered a limited edition, signed poster from a "fan". (The person was thinking of ripping him of. And then he got an email. The only text read: his name, his address, his age, his social security number. Man was so scared he payed triple for ice show tickets, just to get the signed poster. Incidentally he also got invested in ice skating and found Yuuri Katsuki, Japan's ace. He's been a fan ever since.) After Viktor cut his long hair, Yuuri mourned for a few days and then layed waste on everyone on the internet who dared to complain about Viktor's decision.

All of Yuuri's fans, as well as all of Japan knows that Yuuri Katsuki is THE Viktor Nikiforov fan. Journalists that are usually ignored by Yuuri know that they only need to mention Viktor before Yuuri goes on a 30 minute tangent about his newest programs, his music, his outfits, that obscure program he did only once six years ago. If the journalist is brave, and willing to risk life and limb, they'll even add some sort of critiscism "Viktor's landing was a bit wobbly" Yuuri Avoider of Anything that Risks Conflict Katsuki: "First of all how dare you." 40 minutes later "I'm done! I'm done! ... And another thing!"

Yeah Yuri Plisetsky admires Viktor Nikiforov. He's ugh Viktor. But Yuri is a fan of one skater and one skater only and that is Yuuri Katsuki. I'm talking posters, hand fans, body pillows, limited edition sports drink Yuuri did some promotion for. He came to Hasetsu with one luggage, left with three filled to the brim with Katsuki merch. And a giant poster from the train station. When Viktor discovers Yuri's collection he is incredibly jealous.

Phicit, Yuuri, Leo, Guang-Hong Ji, Otabek, Emil, Michele, J.J., and Seung Gil have a group chat for gossip. While the group chat is used pretty frequently Seung Gil will only wildly appear once every blue moon, leave a devastating one liner and dissapear once again. Once Viktor goes to coach Yuuri the group has front rows to live updates: "omg Viktor just showed up buck naked at my parents' onsen" "ok so he asked if I want him to be my boyfriend. do you think this is code for something?" "He sure likes to be very touchy with me. very touchy. hmm silly europeans" "he just wants us to be close friends" the despair the others are feeling. after the live kiss, seung gil: "just friends huh. never lie to my face again bitch"

minami and yuri have beef. minami has a limited edition photo card that he brought with him to the juniors. yuri has another limited edition card that he also brought to juniros. they saw each others limited edition cards, argued which was superior, both incredibly jealous of the other. loathed each other since then.

yuuri was the first to give Viktor his blue roses crown. One time when Viktor was assigned to NHK Trophy Yuuri busted his entire allowance and some odd jobs to buy him the crown, to an exhorbitant price because roses are expensive, blue roses even more so, and a flower crown?! Yuuri was standing near the rink when Viktor saw him holding the crown. Viktor's heart melted, and he let Yuuri put the crown on him. ever since then Viktor was associated with blue roses. Years later a skating fan uncovered an old photo of yuuri putting the crown on viktor and posted it online. the skating world collectively lost their minds. at their wedding they each put a flower crown on top of each others heads.

[3months2mordor]

On Hobbits and Existential Dread

or Why “The Scouring of the Shire” is the True Climax of The Lord of the Rings

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Or more accurately, there lived a human who had been in hard COVID quarantine for six months and certainly felt like a hobbit, what with all the staying inside and eating second breakfast and trying her best to ignore the world, which seemed in the summer of 2020 to be spiraling towards something unknown. And she, well I, was packing for college. On an impulse that I cannot explain except to say that I had previously binge watched all the movies in my seemingly infinite quaran-time, I packed a large red volume of JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings with the intention to read it over the course of the semester.

What began as a simple personal challenge to read a chapter a night instead of doom scrolling on Twitter became a profound experience not only in terms of discovering that my parents were right in saying the book was actually really good, but also in realizing that the Hobbits, in their edenic Shire perched on the edge of a world about to enter catastrophe, were more like me, more like a lot of us, than Aragorn or the Elves or Dwarves or Men who people Middle Earth. And here is why the chapter at the very end of the last book where the Shire is nearly destroyed is so very, very important.

Tolkien takes careful time in his books to establish the attitudes and habits of his hobbits who live in pastoral harmony in near complete isolation from the rest of the world. They are content with what they have and don’t have the greed that drives Dwarves to dig, or the ambition that drives Men to war, or even the worship of nature that drives Elves deep into their forests to protect them. They build their hobbit holes, smoke what is definitely pot, and eat and drink heartily. They care little for news of the outside world and tend their fields instead. That’s it.

But the world does not cease to exist just because they want it to. It never does.

As Gandalf warns in Rivendale, “We are sitting in a fortress. Outside it is growing dark.” (Part 1 Book 2 Chapter 1).

Regardless of how much the hobbits might ignore the coming of the Dark Lord Sauron and the existential threat that is his attempt to control the world, it will not go away. They will not be safe from the darkness just because they want to be and they have a supply of candles in the cupboard. And so, at the start of the story, evil comes to the Shire in the form of the Black Riders and Frodo, our hero, must leave to keep the Shire safe from the forces of darkness. Still Frodo is just a hobbit, albeit a brave one. So he laments to Gandalf, “I wish it need not have happened in my time” and Gandalf replies “So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” (Part 1 Book 1 Chapter 2).

I feel this quote more deeply every year. A deep childish wish for things to exist as we expected them to be, but a solemn and more mature knowledge that Gandalf is right. That our time has already been given to us. All that we have left is what we do to make that time matter.

But back to Frodo, who takes a good seventeen years to heed this advice, but eventually sets off on an adventure to save the Shire which, spoiler alert, ultimately saves the world. Along the way people despair and seem to lose hope. Theoden, recovering from a spell that robbed him of agency and clearsightedness, cries “Alas! That these evil days should be mine, and should come in my old age instead of that peace which I have earned” (Part 2 Book 3 Chapter 6). Even Sam, in his darkest hour thinking he has lost Frodo for good, groans “I wish I wasn’t the last. I wish old Gandalf was here, or somebody. What am I left all alone to make up my mind? I’m sure to go wrong” (Part 2 Book 4 Chapter 10).

Yet despite it all the One Ring is destroyed and the King returns and good wins. Everything is set right and our heroes get a chance to rebuild the world rather than watch it crumble. They get to go home.

Now this is a fine story and one I desperately needed amongst all of the *everything* going on in 2020. However it is not the ending that stuck with me. For you see once Frodo and his companions return home, the Shire is not the same place they left it.

The Shire, in their year long absence, has descended into a despotic police state run by a wealthy, privileged hobbit who stays in his hole rather than try to help his people as Men, who tower over the hobbits, and are specifically and on multiple occasions called bullies, abuse their power. They use their strength to take food and (let’s face it) weed from the hobbits, desecrate their land with deforestation and pollution, and create a state of fear and paranoia that anyone could be taken at any moment to prison without trial after only a mere whiff of seditious behavior. The world has come to the hobbits and they are so paralyzed with fear that they are unable to do anything other than sit in their hobbit holes and keep their heads down, hoping that they and their families will make it through.

Now, Frodo and his companions, having seen the change that can be wrought from people who stand up to bullies and fight to make a difference, see the state of their home and immediately understand the despair their friends and neighbors have fallen into because they too have felt it. These are the hobbits who faced thousands of orcs and rode in battle and walked to Mount Doom with only each other to lean on and they know how deeply despair of impossible odds can affect someone. But they have also learned that that despair is not inevitable. They saw the Ents on their last march when Treebeard said it was “likely enough that we are going to our doom… But if we stayed at home and did nothing the doom would find us anyway, sooner or later. That thought has been long growing in our hearts; and that is why we are marching now” (Part 2 Book 3 Chapter 4). They saw the Rohirrim ride to battle against impossible odds because it was the right thing to do. They saw even the most pitiful Gollum play his part in saving the world. And they saw the Eagles fly in to help carry the day.

There’s always hope if there’s something worth fighting for.

And so, back in the Shire which was not the Shire they knew but still the one they love, the four heroic hobbits do what had once seemed impossible: they get the hobbits, in their apathy and terror and existential despair, to stand up and fight. And it’s hard, and people die, and it gets worse before it gets better, but in the end the bullies are run off and the hobbits are victorious and they begin to rebuild, not just their homes but their forests and their relationships with each other too.

The hobbits, and me really, wanted to curl up in their holes and hope the world would go away. And sometimes, God, that seems like it’s the only thing you can do when darkness is spreading far on the horizon and it keeps creeping closer but isn’t here yet. But Sauron is not the scariest thing in this book. Tolkien’s real villain was the fear and despair that can paralyze you to stay in your hole until the Shire is burning around you. Yet even the most comfortable and secure hobbits have to stand up and face the world because if we don't, no one else will.

There is a reason Frodo is able to see the mission to the end. And it’s not that he’s exceptional in the way other heroes are. No. In fact it is because he is unexceptional and unambitious and also uncompromising that the deed is able to be done. He, like the hobbits he helps at the end of the series, has to get up and work to fight the evil that hurts people every day. And Frodo doesn’t save the hobbits of the Shire; they save themselves. Then they rebuild. They grow things again, not better, not the same, but they have to go on living. And, I don’t know, I needed to realize that.

We aren’t Aragorn with a throne and a legendary sword and a destiny to be king, we aren’t the Elves with their centuries of knowledge and skills, we aren’t the Dwarves with their mountain holds to hide in. Heck, we’re not even Frodo, or at least I’m not. There’s no way I could handle a walk that long. We’re the hobbits. We see the existential wave of dread and terror that is coming and our instinct to hide from it, to hold it off as long as we can and then silently accept it when it comes. Because what can one little halfling do against a thing like that?

But even the hobbits of the Shire stand up eventually. Even hobbits can take that dread for a bleak future and turn around and create new life. There’s a reason why the symbol of the Shire returning to peace and throwing off the yolk of oppression is a tree. The bullies cut down Bilbo’s old one and it can’t come back. But Sam plants a new one anyway and hopes it will grow.

I’m reading the Lord of the Rings again before this election as I did last time. But this time I’m not alone. I’m reading it with friends. I marked passages like the ones above that made me think but also ones that made me laugh because there is joy in amongst the shadows and if we cannot find those moments it’s hard to keep looking for the light. In rewatching The Two Towers film the other day I was struck, as I usually am, by Sam’s speech at the end of the movie, based on one he gives in “The Stairs of Cirith Ungol.” I think it bears quoting in full.

Sam: It’s all wrong By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?

Sam : That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.

Hobbits are remarkable people, Tolkien says, and I hope we are too. I hope we can get through this by raising up our own Shires full of hobbit warriors to face the world and not lie down and give up. Because if everyone did that there would still be a One Ring and Sauron would rule forever.

But we have to save the Shire. It’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. We have to believe that. I have to. I will do my part to make sure it does, but first I have to believe it’s possible. We have to take that existential terror and turn it into righteous fury because we have seen what a shadow can do and we cannot let it spread again. We have been there. But we will not go back again.

[quietlyimplode]

ignite your bones

After the fall of General Dreykov, and the remnants of the Red Room still at large, Natasha first year at SHIELD is anything but healing. Labeled a traitor and a turncoat, Natasha tries to find her footing in a strange new world.

Whumptober 2024: Day 31 - making amends (We made it!!)

Warnings: none I can think of

Word Count: 3k (gif not mine)

Summary: A decision is made about whether Natasha is all allowed to stay at Shield.

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

A/N: a couple of things on this one. Firstly happy Halloween or happy boops for those that celebrate. Second y’all can thank @broken--bow for the completion of this years whumptober and the decrease in errors (all mistakes are ofc my own) - thank you my friend (those words never seem enough); third, vote blue like you’re life depends on it (us politics are insidious in how they effect other countries so please brave the polls however you can) and last, this fic ended up 53k words (in a month!) It’s been an enjoyable write and I hope an enjoyable read but so hard, if you’ve ever written then I’m sure you know how hard it can be to get the words out and making it work alongside prompts and a semi coherent story line can be tricky. So to everyone who’s followed it, my love to you all, esp to those that have encouraged with words (and hearts) , you will forever have my thanks. As always a break for now, until the next fic <3

.

Natasha looks around the office, the way it feels generic and familiar at the same time.

Maria, on her left, flicks through the old magazine, scoffing at something whilst Clint paces.

She gets that he’s nervous, but Maria’s nonchalance betrays nerves on her side as well.

Natasha just feels numb.

Tired.

If she doesn’t pass, it’s not their fault.

She hasn’t asked what happens to her, if she doesn’t.

She feels that if they don’t want her, there’s nothing she can do.

If they don’t pass her… what would Olivia do? Would she withhold the information?

Keep it from her?

It was the only parameter; albeit a big one.

Natasha forces a small breath, realising she’d been holding it for too long.

Schooling her body into stillness, she waits with them. Coulson enters, and the woman at the front desk looks up. He nods to her and sits next to Natasha.

She feels her face grow hot.

Embarrassed, she looks at the people who are on her side. It’s not many, but it’s more than she’s ever had.

People that have fought with her and for her.

She swallows the emotions.

She doesn’t have the luxury of hope now.

A man appears at the door, his face stern and without emotion.

“We’re ready,” he announces.

“Barton, you’re first.”

Maria looks up, putting the magazine away.

He follows the man into the room, taking one last look at Natasha as he offers her a rueful smile.

.

“Barton,” greets Fury.

Clint thought there would be more people; not just Fury and a man he had never met before.

This feels better to him.

More fair.

“My name, is Rupert,” the man states, his accent British.

Clint can’t help but give him a lazy grin.

It’s not returned.

He wonders if it was the wrong choice, he doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this, he needs to make this okay.

Natasha’s file folder sits in front of him and Clint corrects himself.

“Sir,” he nods, adjusting his posture and leaning slightly forward.

He’d learn quickly in the military, of how to manipulate men in position.

Rupert nods to that, the ranking of respect seemingly going further than Clint thought.

He opens the folder.

Natasha’s young face stares at Clint, she can’t have been more than 8 or 9, her eyes dead but still very clearly her.

Clint rips his eyes away, choosing not to look down again; lest the grief of her be his down fall.

For intents and purposes, the therapy room is a good place for this.

A place Natasha is familiar with, but also not the cold view of the debrief room, where all of them had made her relive hard memories and brutal traumas.

Fury sits forward.

“Nine months ago, you brought Romanoff in. You said that she could make a difference, and help us take down the remnants of the Red Room. Since then, tell us what you think of her now. Was your initial assessment correct?”

Clint knew the questions were coming.

“Yessir.”

“Elaborate.”

Clint swallows, he’d practiced with Maria, having all his thoughts together, but now in the moment, his fear seems to override his brain.

“I.. Uh, I..”

They look at him expectantly and he hazards a glance at the picture.

“She’s worth it. You have, everything that she’s disclosed, all the information that she willing parted with, given up locations and players in a very wide game of chess, and done it at expense to herself.”

Clint takes a breath, now started the words seem easier.

“I don’t know what your experiences are around reliving trauma, but she’s done it because we asked her, she’s relived experiences so that a piece of the puzzle makes more sense for us, so that we can see how it fits into a larger picture. Natasha is an asset, she’s proved herself, look at shield - she’s the one that confirmed - with the intelligence sources that she had, that helped us root out the gangrenous scourge.”

Fury raises an eyebrow.

“I asked her afterwards, I said to her that she could leave, because Shield was not what we promised her. We kept her in the bowels of compound for months, she was poisoned and picked on and then watched me get beaten, and you know what she said?”

He pauses for effect, but he knows they’ll wait for him.

“Where would I go?”

“That’s what she said. ‘Where would I go?’ A black widow, with no place to go, I can’t imagine anyone more dangerous. We talk of people who can do good, of people that want to make the world better, but sometimes we might just need people that see the world a little differently; not just our americanised view. Natasha, left out in the cold, would find her own way, I have no doubt, but harnessing her goodness? Her own power and insight? I can’t imagine anything else more worth it.”

Fury stares at him for a moment, nodding and then in an untidy scrawl writes something that Clint can’t quite see.

“So your initial assessment was correct?” he clarifies.

“Yessir.”

Clint suppresses the urge to take a breath, instead, he bows his head and looks at his hands.

“There’s not much I’m sure about, but I am sure of her.”

He looks up to find the two men in front of him looking at him carefully.

Fury nods again.

“Okay. You may go.”

The words are slow, and Clint feels sure he wants to say something more.

“Oh Barton, if she were to stay, she’d be your partner. Does that change your mind?”

Clint smiles at the door but when he turns around his face is impassive.

“Not at all,” he replies, his voice unwavering.

.

Maria passes Clint, her name called next and takes one last look at Natasha.

The scar on her forehead still healing and Maria wonders if she did the right thing.

“Sir,” she greets Fury.

The other man, introduces himself, the advisor from the world security council looks intelligent.

She’s been wrong before though.

She offers him the same courtesy but turns her attention back to Fury.

“Tell us your current assessment of Shield,” Rupert starts.

It’s not the question she’d been expecting.

“It’s messy,” she starts, thinking on her feet.

Maria thinks quickly of the hierarchies she knows, what to liken it to and how just to explain that they have a long way to go before anyone in shield is completely trustworthy.

“There are currently 628 members of Shield. I think we all know how many were just weeded out and deposed. Each of those members know something of what happened and the rumor mill is wild with stories. I think there needs to be a better system and rankings. It seems ridiculous that we use military rankings and status of missions to determine who is trustworthy. Trust is earned. Both inside and outside of the home. You have a woman working in the library who can speak languages like breathing, new graduates that feel more trustworthy than some who have been here for years but use their power for clout over earning it, and you have an opportunity.”

She looks at Fury.

“Sir.”

Fury gives her a small smile, a sign that she hadn’t gone too far with her assessment.

“So what would you do?” Rupert asks, his voice casual.

“Change it,” Maria says seriously.

“Why not have a ranking system? Levels that give more information and something to work to. Then, clearance is easier. You know who, is in each level, what that rank entails, who can access what. It sounds simplistic but I can tell you how to implement it…”

Maria stops there, embarrassed at her enthusiasm, and the project she’d been working on for the last three weeks.

“I have a presentation.”

It’s the last things she says, the man, Rupert looks at her almost approvingly.

She hazards a look at Fury, expecting anger.

Instead, he cocks his head and stares her down.

She doesn’t quite understand what he’s thinking.

“You have a presentation,” he states, a note of mirth on his voice.

“Yessir.”

Fury leans forward.

“Fine. We can talk about that later. I think you and I need to have more of a conversation about your position too.”

“Sir?”

Maria must look worried as almost immediately Fury waves her off.

“Nothing to be worried about.”

Maria doesn’t feel sure.

“Tell me about your assessment of Natasha.”

Even though Maria knew it was coming, she still feels like she’s not ready to assess her.

“Are you sure you want my opinion?”

She’s stalling she knows.

“Yes,” Fury and Rupert reply in unison.

“She’s unpredictable, wild, traumatised and dangerous,” Maria starts.

She pauses.

“But, she’s an asset. She’s intelligent, resilient, somewhat naïve to American customs but has so much potential. She’s her own person and I think that can only be a good thing. We don’t need yes people, we want people who will assess us as much as we assess them. This is to say nothing on the intelligence she has provided us, the intelligence she has likely held back. Barton has done a good job at supporting her, making this as painless as possible for all involved. I..”

Maria hesitates.

She thinks of Natasha’s shaking hands, and worried eyes in the hospital. The human beyond the black widow. The woman that, despite all she had seen; all she had done, was still kind, still worth saving.

“Barton made the right decision in saving her.”

Fury stares at her.

Rupert looks at her closely.

She doesn’t waver.

“That’s your assessment?”

Maria nods.

“Yessir.”

“Okay.”

Fury shuffles papers.

“You’re dismissed. Ask Coulson to come in. Oh, and Maria?”

She looks up.

“We will meet tomorrow at 8am.”

He smiles, and Maria returns it.

“Yessir.”

.

Natasha watches Maria exit and Coulson enter the room.

She doesn’t say anything but offers a smile and Clint a nod before leaving.

“It’ll be okay,” Clint whispers.

She’d been in there half an hour, but Coulson, it seems like he’s only in there for half the time.

When he exits, he sits down next to Natasha.

“You’re going to be okay,” he assures, almost echoing Clint’s words.

To Natasha it feels like a soothing balm; from both of them.

The anxiety that she feels still simmering but someone else to fight for her, to take the time to reassure her? Natasha feels a strength that differs to anything she’s felt before.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Clint reaches over and squeezes her hand.

It’s short but she feels emotional, she’s never had men helping her, and here she was, sitting between two of them who have been the biggest supporters she’d ever known.

“When you’re ready,” Coulson tells her, “it’s your turn.”

.

Natasha sits in front of Fury, the other man seemingly inconsequential in the therapy room.

The green couches where Olivia had asked her what she wanted, all those months ago, still the same; but Natasha feels like everything had changed.

“I’ll get right to it,” Fury opens.

“The others have spoken highly of you, of your faults but also of your strengths. I want to hear from you. You are the one the gets to speak now, give your assessment of us, of shield and your experience here.”

He leaves the question open.

The statement throws Natasha. It’s not a direct question and she’s not sure what she should say.

People in power don’t want the truth.

“Its different,” she says truthfully.

“It’s not been easy being here and being ostracized about who I am and where I’ve come from; to be labeled a traitor and… I suppose I agree that who I am is not for everyone, I come from a place that I can be anyone, and often it’s chosen for me. It stands to reason that when I choose it, it won’t always be right.”

Natasha sighs.

“I haven’t done everything right. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make up for what harm I’ve done but I can say that I want to do better.”

She thinks it’s what he wants to hear, and she feels it’s true for her at least.

She watches as Fury narrows his eyes.

“Why here? Why America? You had your pick of secret services or agencies. You could work for getting in the world. Why?”

Natasha thinks of Olivia, of Clint and the way he found her, drugged and tortured.

She remembers wondering what else he was going to do to her, and when he met her with kindness, instead of pain, she felt it.

It burrowed inside and settled.

“There was no choice. I chose shield because you were best placed to protect me. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

Fury smirks, his one eye glinting.

“And you just… want to do better.”

Natasha suppresses the urge to shift in the chair, to touch her fingers together or clench her fists.

Interrogation training had definitely beat that out of her.

“Yes.”

She feels her face grow hot under the scrutiny and even to her ears it sounds ridiculous.

Her heart rate quickens, and she can feel the tell tale signs of a panic attack.

Slow it down, she tells herself.

Like Olivia had coached her she searched for the emotion that was giving her disquiet.

Shame, embarrassment, anger. Something else she wasn’t sure of.

Making herself take an audible breath, she looks up at both the men.

“Yes. I want to do better, I don’t want to be someone pawn. My life, is my own. Barton once told me that it didn’t have to be like this, and he’s right, I don’t have to be ashamed of who I am, and what they made me. I can use it, I can be better than that; be better than them. You’re right when you say that I could have gone anywhere, done anything yet still came here and tolerated endless debriefs and torments, and you know what? At times I wished I hadn’t, but I stayed with it because you promised more, and I think that it’s what kept me going.”

She pauses.

“I am my choices and I chose this. For better or worse.”

Rupert looks up. Fury looks down.

“How do we know you won’t defect back?” The older man asks.

Natasha was prepared for that question at least.

“Trust goes both ways, doesn’t it?”

The man nods slowly.

It seems he wants to ask more, but they all sit in the silence as Fury writes one more thing.

He stands.

Natasha copies his movement, taking one more look around the room.

The first time she was in here, she had a panic attack that made her feel like she was dying.

Today, she’d been able to push it back and defend herself.

Growth, she thinks, as she exits without a word.

.

“What do you think?” Fury asks, not daring to hope.

“Well. I think she passes.”

“Yes,” he agrees.

“Probationary. With Barton.”

Rupert bristles.

“Why not Hill? Wouldn’t she be better?”

Fury shakes his head.

“No. I need Hill for something else.”

“Fine. Barton. But Phil has to be their handler. And you both have to report back to the council. She could be a loose cannon and I want oversight.”

Fury rolls his eye.

“Fine.”

He stands and walks to the door.

“It’s like you think we all aren’t working towards the same goal.”

Rupert gathers his jacket and briefcase.

“We all need oversight, Nick. Edith’s done a lamb, come for dinner and we can talk a bit more. I’ll send you my report before I send to congress. Maybe put Barton out of his misery, her too. I still think probationary for the next 3 months, with Belova awol it’ll probably give you enough time to figure out where she’s gone and persuade her to come back.”

Fury opens the door, allowing the other man to walk through it, first.

He adopts a neutral expression, and bids him a formal farewell, watching Natasha, Clint and Coulson stand and look towards them.

Rupert waves goodbye.

“Fine,” he mutters; looking at the apprehension that none of them can conceal, “come in.”

.

Epilogue

Natasha lays back on the shield issue bed, contemplating the day.

She was a shield agent.

On probation, sure, but still she had a badge that said so.

Every handler in the red room would roll in their grave.

She smiles, the ones she had killed anyway.

The other ones? She would just have to make time kill them as well so they had the opportunity.

Yawning, she contemplates the last year. How much her life had changed, how far she’d come without dying.

Dreykov would hate her.

He’d want her dead.

There was still so much work to do; to dismantle what was left of the red room.

If there were any girls left that could come in, or be rehabilitated… if they wanted to be.

Olivia.

Yelena.

She was sure the latter was dead, there was no was she could have survived the brutality of the red room.

But still.

There was a molecule of hope that burned inside Natasha, for all of the things she could do and could be.

The red in her ledger.

The things she had yet to experience and still wanted to to was another - as selfish as she thought it to be.

She takes the badge out again.

Touches the silver imprint, the leather around it.

Clint had looks pleased, so had Maria.

And Coulson, just looked like himself - maybe tellin that he was pleased with all that had eventuated.

She hadn’t quite understood his tells but if he were to be her handler, she’d have to learn that.

Natasha closes her eyes, feel the feelings, just like Olivia had said.

She thinks it’s pride.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Jung Wooyoung Perspective Reading

Okay, now going to start with doing the members of Ateez. I wasn't sure to go with him or San, but I felt his would be less intense, so rather start with him. The song I got for him is Float by Janelle Monae. I can interpret this is he is someone who rises above obstacles or doesn't allow others to bring him down or keep him down for too long. Now, I liked his energy from my Ateez readings, so I was interested to see what he will share here. As I am not familiar with any member here, so I am excited to start on the group's members one on one. I am being pulled towards the archetype decks first, so here we go.

I am already getting very flirty energy here with him. He has a balance of feminine and masculine energy here. He can be a pursuer, charming his way into your life, but he also has a magnetic pull that brings others towards him. He kind of knows how to use his attractiveness to his benefit. He seems to have a way of getting someone to love him, be it using his charms to do so, or his ability to be in touch with his divine feminine energy to get others to bend to his will. The Goddess card in this deck just reminds me of the 9 of Pentacles, which I feel represents him well. Someone confident and abundant with an independence to him. He just stands in his power and glory. It isn't dominant or aggressive at all. He kind of just enjoys to do his own thing. There is a spirit in him that tries to do new things or has innovative ways of getting things done. He can think of a lot of new creative ideas. With these cards I can say he has a very creative mind. I am not sure he uses it in the arts or with their music, but he has a lot of fun new ideas roaming in his head. I feel he has the ability to create something different and innovative. I am looking at this Prince card, and I hear he has the power of seduction, so okay. I can see this boy getting anyone to do what he wants. He has that pull and energy.

Alright, so these set of cards give me a different vibe. I say he is good judge of character and makes very good decisions. He may like to look things over and make an analysis before going towards something. He is the type that weighs all his options. He looks at the good and bad. There is a sense of clarity he has when it comes to his decision. I got the message from this hunter card, seek and you shall find, not sure what that means, but guessing it means whatever he pursues he finds a solution to what he seeks. I can see him on the prowl, someone always searching for something. He is the type that always wants something new out of his life. He is also very curious to learn about things in life. He is a Sag, so I am now seeing that Sag energy here. He seems to make fun out of life. He could be a bit of jokester and trickster. He may like to make others laugh and have fun. It is like his joy to make others laugh and lift others spirits up. It is like the world can be depressing and stressful, so he tries to make a laugh of it and try to bring as much joy as possible to his life and others. I can see him not taking things too seriously or tries to most of the time. The Float song in the beginning is making more sense here.

He is a person who just goes with the flow. He tries his best not to fight against anything. He doesn't see the purpose. He sets an intention and trust the process will come through. I can say he is someone who is transparent, pretty easy to see through. He kind of shows all his cards. I just see him not caring how others see him, it is like this is me take it or leave it. If you like me, great, if not, cool. He is a courageous and brave person. He is willing to try new things. He may even like a bit of a challenge. There is a strength and boldness he has. I see him being very confident in himself and his abilities. I don't see it as cocky. The healthy amount of confidence one needs to succeed in life. He always seems to look to self-growth and improvement, always trying to better himself. I don't see him as the type to stay stuck in bad patterns and stay stuck in the past too much. He lives and learns. That Alanis song is coming up too. I say he trust his instincts a lot. He may have strong intuition and follows it very well. He may be careful about trusting a situation or people too blindly though, but I see him being a good judge of character, so that may not be a problem for him.

I feel he has the talent and skills to create something really great. Although he is confident in himself in some respects, not sure he is when it comes to creating something. It is like he may not seem like he has the potential, but it is there. He may need to go into the depths of himself, which may be a bit uncomfortable for him to bring out that creative power he has. It is like he has the magical touch to create wonderful things. All the cards here have pink. I am not sure why I am noticing that, but the details always seem important to me when I read, so this could indicate this is showing me he is a soft and loving person. He needs to play around with his ideas and try new things. If he isn't already. I would urge him to let his creative ideas loose. It may be hard, because companies do stunt these idols creativity, so not sure he is stunted, or he is just not comfortable sharing his creative side. I am not sure if he is the type to enjoy the journey, rather than focusing on the results, or this is guiding him to do so, like to not rush for results and enjoy the process of creating something. Maybe he stops himself, because the process is too long. From this energy it seems he has a lot of creative energy that should be used. I am not sure if it is music, fashion (not sure why I am getting this), or accessories who knows, but create something, if he doesn't already.

Once again, I am getting there is more he wants to do with his career. I see him having lots of ideas and prospects of what he wants to do. Not sure he can do all that he wants to do. I feel like this idol industry can limit what he can actually do, like he could start so many different business ventures if he could. There is an aspect of him that is very good at grounding himself and keeping peace within himself. He could meditate. Although, he can be loud and frantic. There is a calmness to him at his core. I feel he has a strong core sense of self, which was the opposite of what I got for the Jimin's reading. Once again, he is some who is very decisive and knows what is right for him and which opportunities to take. He in a sense seeks balance and fairness. I am getting a lot of cards that he has this innate ability to attract the things he wants; not sure he can do it subconsciously or he is aware of this ability. But as I mention, he has a magnetic pull to gravitate the people and things he wants out of life, so maybe whatever he wants to do and explore could happen with this energy. He has strong capabilities of building wealth, how he does it, I don't know, but he's got that factor.

Not to my Tarot, the first card he gets is the 4 of Cups, this doesn't surprise me, he seems a bit bored with what he is giving. I can see him being someone who is a bit distant and closed off from others. I just think he likes to keep his deep sh** to himself. He doesn't like diving too deep into himself. He is more about making something out of life, than doing the deep work. I can see him being someone who meditates and contemplates about things as well. I say, he might do some deep work, but he won't let others into that. He keeps to himself. Now he got the Wheel of Fortune, once again another card that shows he is a lucky person in life, someone who can build wealth and make money. He is someone who wants to progress and move up the latter, so to speak. I do sense there is a missed opportunity he may have had that he is disappointed about. I am not sure if he was blocked from it, or he just didn't take the offer. Now with the 4 of pentacles, yeah, he is greedy and stingy, not going to lie. He can be a bit selfish at times. There is a strong sense of self-control this boy has. He values his career and money a lot and won't let anyone or anything ruin it. He is also very good with money and knows how to save as well.

So, I would say he is a more practical and passionate person but does lack emotional depth. I just see him preferring to live life than wallow in despair. His energy is similar to Sunghoon to be honest, same vibe. But I find his energy a bit more optimistic and upbeat. I don't see a lot of Air energy as well, so he isn't the type that is in his head stressing a lot. I can see why people would think he is one dimensional, but he has a balance of practicality and passionate energy that doesn't make him that way. He can be lively on stage/on-camera, but behind the scenes he is more businesslike and serious. I find his energy fascinating and had fun with this one. I like his energy, probably up there with Beomgyu's so far.

[mcsquared789]

@geekyforever @urua @crimsonscloud And anyone else who is a big fan of the Incredible Hulk (2008), the related comics and/orhas read my AO3 rewrite of it 😊

So, I saw the Brave New World trailer just now! I am very excited for it — it looks really fun, good for Aussie summer — but there’s a a little wrinkle that I just need to know more about. That relates to Samuel Sterns who is teased in the trailer. The future of the MCU Uncut series involves, pretty much first in the idea pipeline, ‘The Indestructible Hulk’ which will feature a return of all the characters from my rewrite of Hulk (2008) in some way… and though I have some ideas for it, I still don’t really have anything solid to go on with. Especially with Samuel Sterns, who I still know very little about as a character and seems to be taking a very different direction from what I’ve been setting up. (And I wouldn’t be surprised if Betty showed up somewhere in the film too.)

I’m gonna need a lot of help to get the ideas needed for this fic… some of what I do want to have, without making it too stuffed of so many ideas, is Jennifer Walters, Nadia Dornova, the Roxxon Corporation, Leonard Samson as an ally, the fic to feature more mutated creatures (not exactly like Red Hulks…), Bruce Banner to set up a lab by the end and also for this fic to connect into Iron Man 3 which will take place afterward. All that in one fic — and now a film too, that I’m pretty sure is going to create a new canon that might contradict whatever I write. And I didn’t have very much to base off, anyway… so you can see why I’m a bit overwhelmed. 😂

I’m gonna need a lot of help and advice with figuring out this fic. As well as that, I also think I’ll need to see the direction this is going for the official MCU… which is why I might have to delay writing this fic until the film comes out. 😬 I’ll still have other standalone fics to work on, but this may delay the progress of the sequel in turn — but also give me the time I need to work it all out and make something really good (with your help, please, I’m begging you 🙏). The point of this post is would you be okay if I held off on writing it, and you also help me shape it for when I do get round to it?

Thank you so much for reading this in the meantime! - (M)

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Hunter’s Moon in Taurus ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

I read around the Internet; it seems this year’s Full Hunter’s Moon in Taurus is a big deal for all people, because it marks the end of a 2-year long cycle of Taurus-Scorpio eclipse. That cycle began in November 2021. So, if you could remember what specific misery started then, this year’s eclipse is the end of that suffering😊BANZAI!🎉Or, for some people, an intense healing journey might’ve started then and this eclipse marks your full-recovery or something along those lines🥰

Aenergetically, I feel that this Hunter’s Moon in Taurus is inviting us to take stock of many elements in our lives that no longer serve us. That’s such a cliché, right? We do this every full moon anyway, but with this powerful eclipse, and it being in the Taurus-Scorpio axis, this releasing of old narratives extends far back into childhood conditioning. And in some cases, childhood traumas.

Taurus is the ruler of the 2nd House of personal autonomy and how we view ourselves in relationship to our immediate, closest environment: the family environment. This sign/house tells us how we perceive our individuality in relation to the grownups immediately near us, and how they perceive us. When elements of life ruled by this sign/house is afflicted, disregarded, ignored, dominated and manipulated, traumas in childhood develop and…

Scorpio as the ruler of the 8th House of traumas can tell you a lot about ways you could pull yourself out of this loop of misery caused by terrible conditioning or bad parenting. Often, for many people, the development of new traumas continues to happen way into adulthood and so, when you carry a lot of pains, you will need to heal yourself over and over again until almost all of those layers of a false concept of your Self are taken down.

This full moon eclipse in the Taurus-Scorpio axis, I feel, brings immense relief from the maelstrom of a healing journey that is often quite world-shattering. I have faith that even now as you’re reading these words, many things in your world—your inner world—are already calming down and the winter season will allow you plentiful of rest, before the spring of your Life begins again next year🌱😜🎍

‘Chill…

You’re going to end up where you’re supposed to be.’

[Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – King of Your Own World

outdated patterns, DISSOLVED – King of Pentacles

I sense you’ve come from a very restrictive background. When you were growing up, parents or teachers were incredibly strict. They placed so much cruel expectations on you without caring for your feelings as a person. For some of you, this debilitating sense of restriction could also have come from religion, tradition, custom, race/ethnicity bullshit, and all such things. You felt like there were so many things you weren’t supposed to do because you belonged to a certain religion or because of your ethnicity or whatever. Meanwhile, for the same reasons, ridiculous expectations on you were abound as well.

You constantly felt like the sky above your head was so low and you couldn’t do anything about it. Naomi Campbell’s quote fits perfectly here: ‘The sky has never been the limit. We are our own limits.’

Recently, you’ve been able to overcome so much of this bullshit patterning from your childhood. I think you’ve been working on this unravelling for a number of years. You are free now. Quite nothing is restricting you anymore; you’ve figured out how the Matrix works. And now, you’re the King of your own Reality. What are you going to entertain and create in this brave new world of your own making? Your North Node sign and house placement will have some hints for you to know what options would make you feel the best about yourself in this incarnation!🥰

authentic self, EMBRACED – 4 of Wands

In spite of all the conditioning you were subject to, you’re essentially a Soul who’s always been rather clear about who you are on a fundamental level. Actually, you knew yourself, you knew what you liked, you knew what you wanted to become. But yeah, those restrictions put around your sky caused you to feel confused a lot. Or that you felt helpless on so many levels. What you wanted, what you knew you could be so good at, and what you were allowed to do… they seemed all to be separate circles.

But now, now that you are your own person, you’re reclaiming those bits and pieces of your authentic self that became dormant as you were trying to survive! They are all coming online one by one. For some of you, I feel old skills/abilities are going to get reactivated and this will point towards what you’re meant to do in this incarnation. For some others, you may suddenly gain insane skills you never knew you were capable of and this might shock you a lot. These are actually skills you’ve polished in past incarnations. They’re coming back to help you ascend into New Earth more easily! This is your time to shine, baby!🌤

life purpose, EXPRESSED – 4 of Cups

Okay, let’s get to the real stuff here. For a lot of you reading this, I sense you may be occasionally dealing with stagnation or a sense of feeling absolutely stuck in the manifestation of your ideal world, ideal reality. There’s this feeling like, even though you know what you’re supposed to do as part of your Life Purpose, you feel like there’s just no way you can build that bridge towards that life purpose at the present moment. Don’t worry, honey, I promise you that you can’t fuck up what’s meant for you.

Many of you, you’re currently in that gestation phase where you’re supposed to gain a lot, A LOT, of spiritual strength before you’re ready to take on the world. Your path may sound unnecessarily tougher than other people, but it’s because you have a higher calling to be of service to your community. Maybe even the world, WHOA. Your experiences have shaped the amazing individual you’ve become, and even now you’re still becoming even more awesome than you could ever imagine in the meantime.

You are where you’re supposed to be. Learn as much as you can, enjoyably. Breathe as deeply as you can, enjoyably. Play your videos games. Watch your favourite series. Aren’t you aware you’re having so much time on your hand now to be building new positive habits, too? All of these seemingly unrelated activities are leading you towards your Life Purpose; embrace everything nice and calm that you have now. It is going to get wild sooner than you realise!🎆

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Pile 2 – Comfortable New World

outdated patterns, DISSOLVED – 5 of Cups Rx

Not to touch on conspiracy theories, but if there’s a new world order on a microcosmic scale, you’re having it all to yourself XD You are dissolving an old world order that involves mental lethargy and a general sense of spiritual confusion, which I think you’ve needed to deal with for almost your entire Life. I sense, for many of you this was caused by a very traumatic childhood in which you were constantly, systematically let down by the people around you, or your environment in general. It feels like, you were never given what you wanted, what you needed; whatever you asked, if you asked, you would be granted its non-delivery.

I think you had toxic parents? Grandparents? Maybe teachers? Just incredibly venomous adults who actually saw your potential for success, and so, they deliberately attempted to murder your Light from a very young age. At this point of reading, I think you’re healing and transitioning into more peaceful waters by your own conscience. I’m sure you’ve worked really hard to heal yourself, work on your inner demons, defeated negative thought patterns that weren’t even your own, and created new neurological pathways all on your own. You’ve successfully made the unconscious conscious. You have better control over your own emotions, thoughts, choices and conducts now. Congratulations!🎊

authentic self, EMBRACED – 3 of Pentacles Rx

Before this point, you were probably a people-pleaser of sort, right? You thought too much about other people and I think you were conditioned to think that self-love or prioritising yourself is incredibly selfish. That choosing to live Life on your own terms was incredibly selfish! The adults around you were probably the type of parents that would say, young people choosing not to have babies is incredibly selfish! Whereas such adults are choosing so precisely because they don’t want to bring into this miserable world babies that are unloved and unwanted. That’s all gaslighting, you know that, right?

With this energy, I’m seeing you choosing to cultivate solitude for the time being. You’ve finally been able to tap into this consciousness of calm and harmony. You are in rest and recuperation mode for both your mental and spiritual. You are not yet ready to connect with people. Right now, it’s time to build a deeper connection with yourself, perhaps your inner child and all the things that make you feel joyous from the inside. This is also your time to feel more connected to the Planet herself as well as understand your unbreakable bond with the Cosmos itself. If you ask me, I think you’re currently in a really good stage where you’re being led to your best Life as of yet!🌞

life purpose, EXPRESSED – 2 of Pentacles Rx

As of right now, your Spirit Guides and Higher Self are sending you many synchronistic messages that give you a clearer idea as to what your next steps should be. It’s perfectly OK to be casual and relaxed about them though. You are not at all in a rush. Even when you see these YouTube readings that say crap like URGENT MESSAGES FROM THE UNIVERSE, no, you’re not in a rush anywhere. Your new world order is gestating right now and you can be patient with yourself. Those types of titles are just for the algorithm or for grabbing your attention, but in reality, there is no such thing as the Universe or Higher Self or Spirit rushing you towards anything. You can’t fuck up what’s meant for you, trust that.

When you allow the process of your new world of comfort to unfold naturally, in the future, you will always know when to make the right decision for almost every life choice you will be making. You will be guided more by your intuition and so, whatever choice you make will reflect the highest good of you and those you care about. That’s the spiritual lesson you’re learning as of right now and I think it’s such a wonderful stage to be in! Trust that you’re being prepared by your Higher Self to receive so much abundance and joy in the next chapter of your Life. You’ve come so far😊

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Pile 3 – Bittersweet Transition Into the Light

outdated patterns, DISSOLVED – 6 of Pentacles

In spite of the title, I feel that your transition into the Light is actually a pretty lighthearted one! More like, all the rough times are over, for realz for realz. You’ve been to the depths of hell and returned safely; scathed, yes, but you’re still alive, so you’ve won! For this Pile, I feel like you might’ve been attracted to the other piles, too, and they contain insights about the kind of struggles you’ve had to deal with. But if you feel that this Pile is your main pile, you’ve literally crossed over many bridges and the Light is dawning fast on you! You’re travelling at light speed towards a world of your ideal!

If up until now you’ve been the character who receives help and charity from other people, soon you’ll finally embrace a transcendent version of yourself with which you’ll be the one sharing your riches and knowledge! You are now the enviable main character but without the envy… hopefully XD But those who are actually envious of your transformation or success are not your people, so I hope you know how to protect yourself from the beady eyes of those who will be seeking to harm you in the future if you let them!

authentic self, EMBRACED – 7 of Cups

For the most part, I’m sensing that you didn’t necessarily come from extreme poverty or anything like that. But the manifestation of your dreams has been nothing short of difficult damn near impossible at times. I hope you understand now that this has been your script only because the things that you want to see manifest in this world are so precious, pure and high-vibrational that Earth herself was not ready to assist their manifestations. Do you understand? Often we hear about needing to raise our frequencies so become a vibrational match to our higher desires. But what happens when our desires are SO high-vibrational Earth herself couldn’t contain those dreams? LMAO

So it was that the collective of Mankind needed to collectively raise their frequencies enough for your time to come. It may sound weird to some people but I didn’t make the rules, hon, so just take these words, I promise you it will make sense soon enough XD And with that said, have faith that you will see all that you’ve ever dreamt of manifest in the physical. Never lose your sight on the prize and don’t settle for less; you’re meant to see it all happen😉

life purpose, EXPRESSED – 5 of Pentacles

Do you perhaps have significant Capricorn, Scorpio or Aquarius influences in your birth chart? These three, in all of the zodiac signs deal the most with a sense of restriction (Capricorn), ridiculously dangerous people/situations and traumas (Scorpio), as well as a disturbing sense of not belonging anywhere in the world (Aquarius). These energies tend to be really difficult to navigate through, but there’s always a great prize to be had when you’re through! Essentially, you needed to go through your experiences to really understand how poverty mindset works or how it’s developed in the first place. Poverty mindset can deal with many things beyond just the conception of money.

It is part of your life’s blueprint to come in touch with it, transmute it via first-hand experience, and dissolve it for all of Mankind. It is part of your Life Purpose to help other people learn to overcome this lack mindset on their own. You don’t necessarily need to become a teacher, but through your own example, or your self-expression whatever it may be, you help others realise their beggar patterns and tendencies. This energy is reminding me of both Bob Marley and Bob Ross though as you can see, their expressions or styles were very different from each other, but they showed people there was more to Life than just numbers in your bank account and that there is so much joy in giving and sharing your gifts with the world. That at the end of the day, what truly matters is Love and what’s truly exciting is charity to others💝

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

would you ever consider translating sasara and rosho’s new duet? i’m sure it would be a real undertaking what with all the manzai, but i’ve always loved your style of localizing jokes! hope you’re having a great day!

You're very kind. Just for you, anon, I'll brave the horror of Dotsuhon lyrics translation. Under a cut for length. This post is so long Tumblr won't save all of it, so it'll have to be done in two goes.

Notes about style: No attempt to preserve rhyme or rhythm. Likewise, no attempt to match the vocal tone/line delivery/line length of the voice actors. (Ie, I'm not writing subtitles, so it might sound odd if you try to listen to the song at the same time as reading this.) The primary focus is on written tone, including wordplay, so strict adherence to literal meaning is not observed. In particular, since this is supposed to sound like a (radio?) comedy sketch, I'm trying to write it with the generally jocular tone such a performance would have in English. Some notes on jokes to follow for those curious. Sasara and Roshou: Hey, folks! Sasara: You're listening to the one and only Dotsuitare Hompo from Osaka. Roshou: Thanks for having us tonight! Sasara: We're Sasara Nurude and... Roshou: ...Roshou Tsutstujimori. Sasara: We usually have a third guy with us, our older buddy Rei Amayado, but he wasn't able to make it for some reason or another. So, you're stuck with the two of us today. Roshou: Sorry, sorry, and thanks again for having us. Sasara: Anyway, things sure are tough out there these days, huh? Roshou: You're telling me. Sasara: So I'd like to get on the mic and say a couple of jokes, cheer folks up a little bit in this whole mess. Roshou: You? You're the biggest mess there is. [1] But you're right. All anyone needs is a good, hot meal and a couple of laughs, and they're set. Sasara: Yeah! A good, hot banquet or three and a personal comedian. All a person needs in life! Roshou: A tad more expensive than I'd intended, but sure. Sasara: And then if you get a good night's sleep with a warm futon riiiight on the floor, then you're in heaven! Roshou: Wait, hold on. You'll catch a cold sleeping like that! You need a quilt or something at least. Sasara: But then what if I overheat? I'd rather quilt while I'm in bed. Roshou: ...Wait, you messed that up. It's supposed to be "quilt while I'm ah--" whatever, let's move on. [2] [Chorus] Sasara and Roshou: We'll keep our chins up and get through this bad time. And we'll set the whole city laughing until even Tsuutenkaku cracks up. [3] Sasara: Don't worry, everybody. I know things are pretty turbulent right now, but it won't last forever. And hey, at least the state of the world right now is like okonomiyaki, and we all know how much I love that! [4] Roshou: In what sense? Sasara: It keeps getting flipped upside down! [5] Roshou: Oh my god, Sasara. Well, at times like this, it never hurts to have seafood... Sasara: I see food, I eat it! Roshou: ...or anything fried... Sasara: After all this chaos, I know I'm fried. Roshou: ...not to mention smothered in sauce. Sasara: You getting saucy with me, mister? [6] But now you're talking my language! And also, the other day I sewed a--wait, did someone say soda? [7] Roshou: Yes, yes, we all know you love cream soda, but you don't need to bring it into every conversation! Sasara: OK(nomiyaki), that's fair. [8] Roshou: Same goes for okonomiyaki! Sasara: Geez, Roshou, what's your problem? Work with me here; commit to the bit. Roshou: Bit of what? [9] Sasara: The routine! That's my motto: always commit to the bit. Roshou: Well, maybe you'd finally get somewhere in life if you tried committing to the whole thing. [10] Sasara: Hey, low blow. We don't all come with your level of ginger. Roshou: No, but you know what does? Okonomiyaki! [11]