Tumgik
#i have Thoughts i'm just tired
penname-tbd · 1 year
Text
is it just me or are a lot of superhero stories these days written by people who don't actually like the superhero genre?
93 notes · View notes
radiance1 · 7 months
Text
Another link to this post. Meet the parents style.
So, Danny and Jason have been fake dating for a while now, and ended up marrying each other solely for tax benefits. Also, they got cool ass fucking friendship rings that they just couldn't not wear everywhere and being married is convenient so...
Anywho, so Jason has met Danny's parents but Danny hasn't met Jason's parents. Danny knows that he has some ties with the vigilantee scene due to being a Crime Lord-he still doesn't know what to think of his parents connecting the dots immediately when they only met him once while it took him more than that while living with the guy.
He thinks Jason may have been an ex-vigilantee at some point before turning to crime.
Then Danny gets blinded by rich people aura when he finds out that his bestfriend is the long thought dead child of Bruce Wayne. Frankly, he's insulted.
You mean to tell him that his could've been buying ice cream from that high class place all this time!? He shook (literally he grabbed and shook him) that point into Jason, he doesn't care that Jason never told him he was rich but he could've at least bought some high class ice cream once in a while.
Jason who was busy solidifying his power as a crime lord, avoiding his family and making sure not to leak his identity at all: I'm a literal crime lord, and the only thing you care about is me not buying you ice cream?
Danny: YES!!!!
Jason: Dork.
Right anyways, so Jason takes Danny along to meet Bruce and his fam but did say as soon as he started being uncomfortable they're leaving. The batfam is a bit blindsided by Danny, because they thought Jason was bringing his partner but its good to also get a feel for Danny's personality.
Danny and Jason did what's normal for them when Danny starts getting comfortable around the manor full of things that cost waaay more than his rent. Like half-heartedly insulting each other, being snarky, leaning on each other and other such things.
The batfam start thinking that there's more there than they know of. So they start watching a bit closer and ask a few round about questions that fly over Danny and Jason's heads. They just forget they're married often, unless it's regarding taxes.
All of this sends the wrong message when they walk into the same room and, being nosy, one of the batfam comes up to the door and uh. They hear the bed moving quite a lot.
So.
Meanwhile, Jason is trying to wrestle with Danny because this man does not pick a lane. He'll either be the human octopus (who is cold as hell) Jason has ever seen, he'll try to kick him off the bed in his sleep as if Jason personally offended him in some way, or he'll sleep in some wacky position that interrupts Jason's sleep. The last one is tied to the other two, however.
So, Jason has to frequently wrestle this man into a proper position where they both manage to get some sleep and it wouldn't have been so bad if Danny wasn't a goddamn sleep fighter. He would know, he had to nurse a bruised jaw for a few weeks.
Why do they sleep together? Listen, when you're in an apartment with not a lot of money, you gotta cut costs where you can alright?
2K notes · View notes
daily-odile · 3 months
Note
AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O
ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go
act 3:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
act 5:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
530 notes · View notes
sunlit-mess · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
443 notes · View notes
canisalbus · 4 months
Note
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
doodle machete’s eyes (only his eyes cause I can’t draw t he rest of him) hope you like it :)
.
456 notes · View notes
reimeichan · 1 year
Text
oh sure when actors playing a character with DID or otherwise acting as multiple people in one body switch between alters on screen they're "such a talented actor" and you "get chills" but when I, actual diagnosed DID system, switch in front of you, it's "scary and unnerving" and you "no longer know how to talk to me".
1K notes · View notes
thekittyokat · 4 months
Text
you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
182 notes · View notes
starry-bi-sky · 5 months
Text
realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
157 notes · View notes
philosophiums · 27 days
Text
I have given into peer pressure.
Below the cut is my un-referenced, not proofread, off-the-cuff thoughts on the main JJK characters and their tendencies to have traits that contradict themselves, which not only makes them more rounded characters but also creates a really interesting situation in which characters have mirrors and foils not only with other characters, but also with themselves.
The point of this post is that the characters in JJK are complex. None of them are one-trick ponies and all of them contain multitudes and have, at least once, contradicted themselves and their beliefs.
Might be spoilery? I tried to keep it vague enough that it shouldn't be, but read at your own risk if you're anime only, I guess.
The Obvious One: Gojo
Gojo is "the strongest." It's debatable, I think, whether or not being "strong" is a personality trait, but he makes it his defining personality trait. (And I'm not here to do a Gojo character study, so for my purposes, it will be viewed as one.) Obviously, The Strongest is a title given to him by others, but he fully owns it and believes it. This is his identity; it's how he views himself, how he handles himself, and it is a preceding reputation that he gladly leans into. It's not a mask he hides behind, it's a flag he proudly displays on his ship to warn others of exactly who they're dealing with.
It makes sense, then, that Gojo's self-contradiction is that he has the biggest, most obvious weaknesses of all the characters in JJK. The first of these weaknesses is his knowledge of how strong he is. Toji exploits that weakness in the Hidden Inventory arc, and it almost costs Gojo is life. His second weakness is, very simply, Geto. Kenjaku exploits that weakness during Shibuya. Interestingly, Geto is a victim of Gojo's first weakness (Gojo is so self-assured that he seems to extend that assurance to the people around him, thinking that they are "as gods" like him just for being in his presence, and therefore he does not pay mind to Geto's spiraling), and exploits his second. He, better than anyone else, knows that he is Gojo's weakness, and he uses that knowledge to do everything he does before and during JJK 0 without repercussions.
Gojo is framed by himself and by many characters within JJK as being the "savior" of the jujutsu world, but in many ways he was, in fact, its downfall - because of his strength, and because of his weaknesses.
The Main One: Yuuji
Yuuji is the king of contradictions to me. Not all of it is within himself, and in fact a lot of it occurs because a large part of the plot is happening to him instead of the other way around, but he has one dichotomy that I do think is All Him. Yuuji defines himself as a cog - in his thoughts, he has been used and beaten down for evil already, so why not just be used for good as well. He thinks of himself as expendable and easily replaced; a foot soldier in a war being fought by titans. At some point, his goal stopped being to follow his grandfather's last request and instead turned into the simple act of persevering for as long as he can just in case anyone may have need of him. In a way, his outlook and perspective on everything became rather bleak and inhuman - quite literally, as, again, he views himself as nothing more than a cog.
And yet, for someone who has claimed his only purpose is to be used to kill Sukuna, everything Yuuji does is so achingly desperately human and is born out of his own desires to save people. Every other sorcerer has a CT or a fighting style that disconnects them from their foe - be that ranged attacks or weaponry - but Yuuji uses his fists. It's raw and almost savage in a way that is unavoidably intimate and human. He says, "Use me," (and, don't get me wrong, he is used) but even the act of offering himself negates the connotations that revolve around being used and shines such a lovely warm human light on him.
Yuuji doesn't push people away. The other "strong" characters isolate (Gojo has infinity, Yuuta literally fucks off from the narrative, Geto fucks off from jujutsu society, etc.), but Yuuji hoards people and connections (and yes, those become weaknesses, but the thing is: they become strengths, too). Sukuna takes Megumi away from him, but that just makes Yuuji more determined to kill Sukuna and get Megumi back. Everything he does is out of love, and he has a drive to do what he has to in order to save (or avenge) the people he keeps close. That's not exactly cog-like behavior.
The Fandom Discourse: Megumi
In my opinion, of all the characters (but especially the first-years), Megumi is the logical character. Especially when it comes to his job as a sorcerer (fighting and killing curses). He is knowledgeable about the world of sorcery, the most book-smart of the first-years, and he is smart and methodical when he fights.
He is also the only character who has openly admitted that he really only cares about saving the people he wants to save, as opposed to the general rhetoric of saving everyone. He's selfish, and he's not shy about it. Even he doesn't try to rationalize it; it's just part of who he is. Logical, methodical, smart, but also deeply, truly, selfish when it comes to where and how he expends his energy and efforts.
And yet, he is also the character who is most willing to die. Now, before half the fandom jumps down my throat, I don't mean to say that he wants to die or that he is constantly trying to - I'm just saying that he is willing to. (Obviously, Yuuji is also a character who is willing to die, but Yuuji is only willing to do so if it would also kill Sukuna, and he is determined to stay alive until such a time. Megumi, on the other hand, doesn't have a similar end-goal ultimatum for death). Yes, he comes at dying from a logical point of view, and yes, he only ever brings martyrdom into the equation if he feels he has no other option, but he has no hesitation when he reaches that point. And you (he) can rationalize self-sacrifice as much as you want to, but that is a very emotionally driven response, regardless of the situation. It's a last stand not only for himself, but for his friends, his family, the world. It's the end of the line for him, and it's something he is willing to do if it means taking out his opponent and making the world safer for everyone else - not just for his "select" people.
He is willing to run away from a fight he cannot win, but he is also willing to do something that he knows for sure will kill him if winning and running are no longer options. And I know that not everyone will see these things as opposites or all that detached from each other, but, to me, intelligent and methodical fighting does not naturally go hand in hand with, essentially, grappling your opponent and jumping off a cliff with them.
The Favorite Child: Yuuta
Like Gojo, Yuuta has access to an overwhelming amount of power. There's no doubt that when it comes to raw energy, he is the strongest sorcerer in his generation. He's exceptionally skilled when it comes to fighting and is often able to get by on simply overpowering his opponents (truly, much like Gojo). He doesn't embody being strong, though - he knows that he is, but it's not something that he considers a defining trait for himself. Instead, Yuuta's whole thing is that he has a tendency to shoulder burdens that other people won't (much like Yuuji, actually) (also it's kind of funny because of all the characters in JJK, I would consider Yuuta to be a "cog" way more than Yuuji, but that's a whole other thing). Yuuta is willing to be a monster, to make hard calls and suffer the consequences, because he has internalized what everyone keeps telling him - that, after Gojo, Yuuta is now "the strongest."
Which means that Yuuta also needs an equally large weakness to balance out that power. But where Gojo had arrogance (and his boyfriend), Yuuta has innocence. There's this pure sort of worldview that Yuuta carries with him that completely counterbalances the part of him that is willing to get his hands bloody. He has this youthful sort of hopefulness and naiveté that if he does the dirty work and puts in effort, then things will work out in his favor because they must. If he is sincere, if he shoulders an unbearable mantle, then everything will be fine simply because he chooses to do so. He does things because they are right and just, and he wants to believe that the universe will acknowledge that and be fair - even though he wouldn't have to do these unnamable things if that was true.
The Less Obvious one: Nobara
Nobara doesn't have a lot of screen time compared to the others, and specifically not a lot of time spent planning for/fighting in the "big fights," but she has one thing that the other characters don't have: self awareness. Nobara is the only character who knows what her contradictions are - she even says them out loud.
She wants nothing more than to be a normal girl who is into fashion, who could be a model, who does her hair and her nails and her makeup, who goes on dates, who has a lot of money and spends it freely. That's her ideal, that's her goal. But that's also who she is right now. She dyes her hair, wears makeup, is feminine in all the ways that would mark her as a girl to strangers on the street, goes shopping and buys too much and makes Yuuji carry her bags. She likes being girly and doesn't shy away from it.
But she is also, and I mean this with all the love in my heart, a feral little gremlin who is willing to bash people's skulls in with a hammer. She's brash and rude and loud. She takes up space and is unapologetic about it. She's vicious on the battlefield. She's not afraid to get bloody, and she hates being viewed as a damsel in distress. She's strategic in her fights, and she uses the fact that opponents underestimate her to her advantage. And she knows all of this, too, and she likes it.
She's self-actualized <3 No notes from me; I love my girl.
Anyway, that's it KSJDBVJKLDFVBJKDFVB There's no real point to this. I'm not saying anything profound, I don't think. This was all just a thought that I had, a little thing that I noticed, and I was bullied (affectionate) into sharing.
107 notes · View notes
sysig · 9 months
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Puts the “plates” in “Fellplates” (Patreon)
244 notes · View notes
sunnymainecoonx · 11 hours
Text
Tumblr media
And errr whatever this guy is
74 notes · View notes
originalaccountname · 11 months
Text
putting my hands on your shoulders looking directly into your eyes why are you so insistent that Dazai is faking every emotion every second of every day except when he's acting mean or evil why do you think his dark side is more true than his happier or sillier sides
do you not also have multiple facets you show different people? are we not all beautiful multifaceted individuals? are your actions and reactions not influenced by your emotions and state of mind?
can't he laugh at his own jokes? can't he fondly think of the Agency? can't he be dramatic because he wants to? can't he be surprised by something suddenly happening, even if he knew it would happen? do you not jump when the jack in the box gets out even if you were the one working the mechanism?
why would the mean persona be more real? why would any and all joy be faked? why are you only allowing him misery?
#sorry i saw one too many posts talking about dazai's ''masks'' and how he hides his true self from the ada#and what of it if he still has the potential to hurt others? what of it if he's good at hurting? every day he chooses not to lean into it#not too far at the very least.#isn't kyouk.a skilled at killing? did she not choose not to do it?#i'm not saying dazai's never acting (because it does happen) i'm saying too many people are too quick to brush off-#every non-serious non-mean emotion as ''playing an act''#why would the mean persona not be a fake?? you thought about that??? what biases are you holding here#he makes jokes. he acts silly. he's a drama queen. he loves it.#you know what IS tiring? having to look evil and untouchable and impassive in front of a whole organization every day as a teenager#as soon as he gets to lupin with od.a and ang.o he goes silly mode. heck- when he *met* ang.o it was because he went silly mode.#as soon as chuuy.a is in proximity he starts yelling children's insults and starts stupid competitions#his silly mode is just as integrated into his personality as the capacity to be the scariest most evil person you've seen#they are not mutually exclusive and having the capacity for either does not mean acting on them#as asagiri said in an interview: bsd isn't about change it's about adaptation. kyouk.a has the talent to kill. she just chooses not to.#dazai has the skills to be evil. he just chooses good.#that got long in the tags sorry#apparently i talk sometimes
323 notes · View notes
levemetal · 6 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Have some various OG!Shangjiu brainrot + OG!Shang Qinghua design from my side - I do like to imagine he's quite different from Airplane.
I love rareships even if they're a pain cause there is like 0 content. Guess I have to do it myself then.
Disorganized OG SQH thoughts under cut
If we can believe Airplane on SQH, his upbringing wasn't too terrible nor all that great, probably some "disposable" son in a family, starting as outer disciple on An Ding. Presumably he runs into the inadvertent ambush by Mobei-Jun, and is similarly thrown to die by his fellow disciples. Assuming this happens as such in the OG timeline, it's easy to see why SQH would have no qualms betraying the sect. Overall tho, I imagine he was ambitious even before MBJ to fight his way up the ranks regardless of the cost. I don't imagine him to be afraid to climb over corpses, if only to secure himself a place as peak lord. I could see him having a bit of a two-sidedness to him kinda like NHS. Pretend to be demure and harmless/weak to get what he wants and not draw attention since everyone assumes him incompetent outside of his work as lord of paperwork, but a lot more ruthless and unfriendly on the inside. He doesn't particularly care for his fellow peak lords and thus is willing to sell the secrets to MBJ in exchange for his life Cold and calculating, ruthless, A grade actor, two faced, rude but repays debts (like mbj leaving him alive and therefore doing stuff for him; I think he'd be aware that he's hopelessly outmatched against mbj so is this technically coercion??)
Anyway with SJ probably an enemy/rivals to lovers situation starting with a spiderman pointing meme game of "I know what you are" and ending in "everyone sucks - I agree" and watching the world burn together or something it's all still vague in my head
63 notes · View notes
varpusvaras · 4 months
Text
Fox knew what it was like to be tired.
He knew it like it was a physical thing he had carried around with him for years. He knew the weight of it, the way it would drag him down, threatening to pull him through the floor and the ground and through the core of the planet, until he would fall into the endless void of space. During the worst of it, Fox would wonder it that was the only way he was ever going to feel weightless again.
The few hours of sleep he would get during the nights would only make him be able to carry the weight a little easier for the time being, but not make it any lighter. It was something more at that point, Fox had realised, something that would not be cured with just simply closing his eyes for a moment.
So, when Thorn asked him, the moment before Fox stepped onto the ship that would take him away from Coruscant permanently, what was the first thing Fox would do when he got to Alderaan, Fox had an answer ready.
"Sleep", he said. "I'm going to get into a real bed and sleep."
He truly meant it. He also meant it when he told Bail the same, and he meant it when he told it to Breha too.
They all agreed that it was a good idea.
"We're going to take care of everything", Breha promised him.
"You can just rest now", Bail said, and tucked Fox a little closer to him. "Just sleep."
The bed was comfortable, Bail and Breha were warm and safe next to him, and Fox was so, so tired.
He didn't need to be told twice. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
---
Fox opened his eyes.
It was still dark in the bedroom. He was still tucked securely against Bail, with Breha pressed close against his other side. They were both still sleeping.
Fox was fully awake.
He craned his neck a little to see the chrono on Breha's nightstand. 4.15. Precisely the time Fox had woken up every single morning during the war.
Fox turned to look at the ceiling. He counted to ten. The time was still 4.15.
He closed his eyes and tried to match his breathing first to Bail's, then to Breha's, but in vain. He was awake.
Fox opened his eyes and looked at the time. 4.23.
He laid there, looking at the chrono as the minutes slowly ticked by. By 4.30, there was a feeling creeping in. Fox knew it very well. It was the same feeling he had felt every single time he had been stuck in the medbay for any longer period of the time, while he acutely knew that he had work waiting for him.
Restlessness.
By 4.45, he was starting to feel almost anxious. The bed was comfortable and warm, and Bail and Breha were still sleeping, and Fox didn't want to get up, but he wasn't so sure if he could stay in the bed for much longer either.
4.50. 4.55. 4.58. 4.59.
5.00.
Very slowly and very carefully, Fox slid out of Bail's hold and away from Breha, and after making sure that they were still sleeping, he quietly made it out of the bed, grabbed Bail's robe and put it on himself, and then sneaked out of the bedroom.
He didn't do much. He just walked around for a bit in their living room, getting the anxiousness out of his body and his legs to stop tingling, and then he sit down on their couch and looked out of the window. The sun was rising at that point, making the sky pale where it touched down on the mountaintops.
Bail's robe was soft and warm and smelled faintly of Bail's cologne. Fox got a datapad, selected a random video of how to make a some sort of buttercheese pastry, and he buried himself deeper into the robe and watched it. Then he watched through whatever videos the site was suggesting for him, until the sky was painted warm, and he could hear an alarm go off in the bedroom.
It took another few minutes until Breha appeared next to him.
"Oh", she said, and turned to look over her shoulder. "I found your robe, dear!"
Then she sat next to Fox and put her arm around him.
"Have you been awake for long?" She asked. There was no accusation in her voice, and Fox felt a sting of guilt for expecting it to be there.
"For a while", Fox answered. He looked at the time on the datapad. 6.56. "I...couldn't sleep."
He felt somehow like he had failed at something when he said it. Breha only nodded slowly, before she sighed softly, and put her head on Fox's shoulder.
"Did you sleep well?" She asked.
To that, Fox thankfully had a better answer.
"I did", he said. He really had. It had probably been the best sleep of his entire life.
"That's good", Breha said, and lifted her head enough to kiss him on the cheek. "Now, there's going to be caf in just a moment. The usual for you? Black, with a lot of sugar?"
Fox really should be cutting back the sweeteners in his caf, he knew that. But maybe, just this once.
"Exactly that", he answered, just as Bail also made his way into the living room.
"We need to get you your own", he said, looking at Fox. Then he paused for a moment, before adding, "not that you don't look cute in that."
Fox stuck out his tongue at him. Bail only laughed.
---
Fox went to sleep that night, tired and ready to sleep for the next week.
He woke up at 4.15.
He waited until 4.45, and then slid out of the bed.
---
Fox went to sleep, tired and ready to sleep for the next week.
He woke up at 4.15.
He laid there for ten more minutes, before he slid out of the bed.
---
Fox went to sleep, tired and ready to sleep for the next week.
He woke up at 4.15.
He was fully awake, but he felt so heavy. He wanted to just keep laying there, in the warm bed, in the warm and safe embrace he was yet again lovingly wrapped in.
But no. His body soon begun to tell him that he needed to get up, right now, or he was going to have to tear his own skin off.
Fox slid out of the bed, made it to the living room, and collapsed onto the couch.
He was so tired. He wanted to sleep.
Breha and Bail definitely looked concerned when they saw him there that morning.
"Do you want to go see the doctors?" Breha asked him carefully.
"I don't know", Fox told her. He shouldn't have to. He was tired. He wanted to sleep.
---
Fox went to sleep, tired and ready to sleep for the next week.
He woke up at 4.15.
He was fully awake. He was so tired. He wanted to sleep.
Fox forced his eyes shut. He laid there as long as he could, before he had to get up.
He wasn't so careful with it that time, and Bail opened his eyes as he was halfway out.
"Fox?" He asked, groggily, lifting his head. "Where are you going?"
Fox crumpled the sheets in his fists.
"I can't sleep", he choked out, and then fled the bedroom.
Bail followed him a couple of minutes later, and quietly and gently gathered Fox in his arms, and sat with him on the couch, watching a random video after random video, until Breha's alarm went off.
Breha asked Fox about the doctors again. Fox still didn't have an answer for her.
He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep.
What else should he have needed?
---
Fox went to sleep, tired and ready to sleep for the next week.
He woke up at 4.15.
Fox couldn't stop the frustrated and desperate sob from escaping from his mouth before it was too late. Both Bail and Breha were awakened by it, and by the time they had realised what was going on, Fox was already full-on crying.
"I just want to sleep!" Fox wailed, biting his teeth together so hard that it hurt his jaw. "I just want to sleep!"
He pressed his palms against his eyes, trying to keep them shut, but of course, it didn't work.
He was fully awake.
He was so tired. He wanted to sleep.
Breha made the decision for Fox then and there.
"I'm taking you to the doctors", she said, leaving no room for any arguments, not that Fox had any left anyway.
---
The doctor said that Fox's body was still in the so-called "stress mode". It had not yet realised that it was out of the danger, out of the stressful environment it had been forced to operate in for so long.
It was going to take time, apparently, for it to snap out of it. In the meanwhile, Fox got a prescription for something that was supposed to help him sleep.
The doctor gave the medicine to Breha and told her the dosage. Fox thought that it was for the best as well.
---
Fox took his medicine, went to sleep, tired and ready to sleep for the next week.
He was awakened by the alarm. He watched as Breha and Bail got up.
"Do you want to stay in bed for a bit longer?" Bail asked him softly.
Fox nodded. He had slept, but he didn't feel like it at all.
Bail brushed his hair gently back from his face. Breha kissed him just as gently on the forehead before they headed out.
He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep.
Fox cried himself silently back to the sleep that didn't feel like sleep at all.
---
Fox kept his head up, even though it weighed a ton, and he wanted nothing more than to just let it drop down, down, down.
He knew what being tired felt like. It was all that he had ever known, after all.
He blinked. People around him had moved. Oh, right. They were going to have dinner with Bail's family. Fox liked them a lot. He hoped that they liked him as well.
He blinked again. Tia was saying something to him. Fox liked Tia. She was like a smaller Bail, without a beard and a lot more hair.
Fox turned to look at her. She was shorter than him, just a bit. Not a lot, but he still needed to look down if he wanted to look her in the eyes.
He looked down, down, down, past her eyes, past her, down, down, down.
He was so tired.
He just wanted to sleep.
---
Breha bit on her thumbnail.
"Stop that", Bail said, and grabbed her wrist. "You're making it bleed."
Breha would've almost preferred that, if she was being completely honest.
"I know, I just-" She had to pause to gather her thoughts. "I just feel so awful. How did I not notice that it was not working?"
"He was sleeping more", Bail said. He ran his thumb soothingly up and down her wrist. "We knew that he was tired. It doesn't get better in a few days. I didn't notice either."
Breha appreciated him trying to make it sound better, even if it was not working.
Veda opened the door then, and motioned them in.
"Bad news? He's exhausted, and has a little bump and a bruise on his head", she started, scrolling through the diagnosis on her datapad. "Good news? He's sleeping now, and the bump and the bruise will fade in a few days."
Bail squeezed Breha's shoulder.
"What should we do?" He asked.
"Let him sleep", Veda answered. "His body has finally said enough. Make sure that he eats and keeps himself hydrated. I will come and check on him as often as you want."
Breha let herself breathe a little deeper.
"Thank you", she said. Veda smiled a bit.
"It's not the first time I've seen this", she said. "It took a while for Index and the boys to start getting actual rest. They kept waking up in the middle of the night, fully awake and feeling like they needed to get to work. They're better now. Fox will also get better, I promise."
Breha was going to hold onto that promise.
Fox looked very small by himself on the bed, with the blanked wrapped all around him. He didn't wake up when Breha slid onto the bed next to him and wrapped her arms around him as well.
---
Fox slept through the rest of the day like a stone, barely moving at all. Breha kept telling herself that it was alright, that he was finally resting.
Fox did finally move, when they both went to sleep as well. He shifted a little when Breha rested her head over his chest and Bail wrapped his arm around his middle. He made a small sound, and then sagged back against the pillows with a deep sigh.
His heartbeat was strong against Breha's ear. She fell asleep listening to its steady drumming.
---
Fox woke up the next day just before noon. He went to the bathroom, ate a bowl of light soup their chef had made for him, drank a glass of water Bail gave him, mumbled I love you to them, and went back to bed.
He was out again the moment his head hit the pillow.
Bail draped the blanket over him.
"At least he is sleeping", he said. "I'll do my work from here today."
Breha nodded.
"Update me if anything happens", she made him promise.
---
Bail sent her the first picture ten minutes into the first hearing of the day.
Breha quickly glanced at it in between the speakers.
Fox had grabbed onto the rest of the pillows as well, and stuffed them halfway inside his blanket.
He has made his claim read the message accompanying the picture.
The picture made something unwind further in her chest.
It would be okay, she told herself.
---
"Did you sleep well?" Breha asked, twirling Fox's hair around her finger.
"Mm-mmh", Fox hummed, already mostly asleep again. Breha peppered light kisses on his cheeks and nose before he was fully under again.
---
The Cocoon has moved, Bail messaged her at the end of the weeks Council meeting. In the attached picture, Fox had apparently rolled over to the other side of the bed from where Breha had left him that morning. His hair was sticking up a bit, and he had a small pout on his face as he slept.
He was so very adorable. Breha saved the image for herself.
---
Fox slept through the last two days of the week as well, with barely stirring for longer than a few minutes at a time.
Zhellday morning he blinked awake around ten, properly hungry for the first time in a while, and ate a good breakfast and a light lunch soon on top of it. He went back to bed after, but didn't fall back asleep right away.
"How are you feeling?" Bail asked him.
Fox blinked at couple of times, his nose scrunching up in thought.
"Tired", he said. "Better. But sweaty."
Bail laughed.
"You've been toasting inside the blankets for a while", he said. "I'll draw you a bath."
Fox smiled back at him, a little wobbly.
"Thank you", he said, and then promptly fell back asleep.
Bail shook his head, and went to the bathroom to warm up the bathtub.
---
"Have I ever told you about the time I decided to run away from home?" Bail asked.
"No?" Fox turned to look at him, after blinking slowly first. He was shoulders in to the water, with the foaming soap already stuck to one side of his face.
"I was around ten", Bail started, rolling his sleeves up more and putting his hands into the water to scoop it up. He poured the water over Fox's head a few times over, before getting the shampoo. "Back then I really didn't want to grow up to be a Nobleman."
He poured the shampoo to his hands and rubbed them together slightly, before starting to work it into Fox's hair.
"I do remember that", Fox mumbled. He tilted his head forward a bit to give Bail better access. "You wanted to go adventuring around the Galaxy."
"I did", Bail nodded. "It was really getting to me, at that point. I would spend all the time I could outside, living inside my games, predenting I was far, far away from Kathou, from Alderaan altogether. I thought this place was boring back then."
He still remembered it clearly, although not too vividly. Too much had changed during the years between that and the current moment. Now, Bail didn't know anything better than Alderaan.
He got the shampoo in, and got more water to rinse it out. They had gotten a good conditioner as well, one that promised that it was made to keep curly hair like Fox's soft and moisturised. The soaps the GAR had used had definitely not been made with the clone's hair in mind.
"I was awake one night, later than I should've been", Bail continued, as he started to gently massage the conditioner to Fox's hair. "I was thinking of sneaking into the library and getting one of the books to read, when I heard my parents talk. They were debating over sending me to a school to learn some discipline and responsibility. I feel a bit funny over how much that thought upset me then. I was definitely a bit spoiled."
He felt especially silly about it now, sitting next to the bathtub in the Royal Palace, while washing his husband's hair for him. His husband, who had known nothing else than training and pain and duty his entire life before now, and was tired to the bone because of it.
Bail's parents had not even been the ones who had come up with the idea of sending him to a boarding school for a year or two. It had been his grandfather, and his parents had been very much against the idea, believing that Bail would grow out of it when he was older, if he just felt supported enough. They had been very right, of course. Not that Bail had stayed to listen to them for long enough to figure that out-
Fox slid deeper into the water. His eyes had closed while Bail had concentrated on getting the conditioner in.
His mouth was partially under the water now. Bail put his hand under his chin and lifted it up.
"Fox", he called. Fox startled a bit, and sent the water splashing as he scrambled to sit back up, his eyes open and wide.
"I'm awake", he said, shivering as his wet skin hit the air. "I'm awake. Sorry, what did you just say?"
There was a single curl plastered over Fox's forehead and the bridge of his nose. Bail stiffled a laugh.
"I was saying, that I think you have been in there for long enough", he said. "Let me just rinse this off."
Fox's eyes were drooping again by the time Bail had gotten a towel for him. Bail dried his hair and wrapped the towel around him, and then led him back to the bedroom.
Sometimes Bail didn't like his height and size, but sometimes being the tallest person in most rooms came in handy. His shirts were all too big for Fox, and thus easy to slip on him without too much of a fuss.
Fox's eyes were barely open as Bail got him back to bed.
"Have good dreams, my love", he said, pressing a kiss on Fox's forehead. Fox hummed, content, and just a few seconds later, he was already asleep.
Bail got his datapad and laid down next to him, opening his inbox. Fox shifted, and nuzzled in closer to Bail's side.
Bail threw his arm behind him and slipped his fingers into Fox's still slightly damp hair, and Fox settled back down with another soft, content noise.
---
Breha got back from her audiences a couple of hours later.
She opened her hair from the braid and tied it back up to a simple updo, changed out her dress to simple shirt and soft pants and laid down on the other side of Fox.
"I see that you managed to keep him from drowning in the bath", she said, leaning her head lightly on Fox's chest. Fox turned his head slightly to her direction, breathing in a little deeper.
"Had a couple of close calls", Bail laughed, and put his datapad away. "Do you want to watch something?"
"They have the new episode of House Brighterdon up", Breha said, grinning as Bail groaned. "Don't try that, I know you're just as invested as we are."
"Are you sure it's alright to watch it without Fox?" Bail asked. He was already reaching for the screen controls.
"What makes you think that Fox and I haven't already watched it?" Breha asked. "The episode was released a couple of weeks ago already, the next one is coming next week. I'm not watching that one without Fox, don't you worry."
"If you have already watched this, why are you making me watch it?" Bail asked. He was typing the name of the show in as he spoke.
"Because, like I just said, I know you're just as invested as we are. I'm just making sure that you are caught up as well, you stubborn little bantha."
Bail rolled his eyes and pressed start.
---
Fox opened his eyes.
It was still dark in the bedroom. He was still tucked securely against Bail, with Breha pressed close against his other side. They were both still sleeping.
He blinked slowly, and then lifted his head to look at the chrono on Breha's nightstand. 4.14
Fox watched as the time ticked over to 4.15.
Then he put his head back down, burrowed a little deeper under his blanket, and closed his eyes, drifting back to easy sleep.
---
Fox knew what it was like to be tired.
He knew it like it was a physical thing he had carried around with him for years. Whatever sleep he had gotten before had only made him be able to carry the weight a bit easier for a little while, but not make it weigh any less.
Fox woke up to the ringing of the alarm and the first rays of proper sunlight softly shining through the blinds.
He moved his arms and legs, hoisting himself up, and rubbed his eyes.
As he sat there, in the middle of his bed, in his bedroom, with his wife and husband waking up next to him, for the first time in his life, Fox felt lighter.
Bail leaned to press a quick kiss to the corner of Fox's mouth.
"Good morning", he said, his voice still a bit rough from the sleep. "Did you sleep well?"
Fox breathed in.
"Yes", he said.
123 notes · View notes
iguessitsjustme · 4 months
Text
Something I find fascinating about Wandee Goodday is that no one has kissed yet (I know Ye and Cher have kissed but...) Like not a full on make out session despite having an established couple in the show that they could be using to show us kisses. But we get no kiss sex scenes from Yak and Dee and soft, somewhat chaste scenes from Ye and Cher. We all know both couples are fucking. But the lack of kisses where normally the show would have one couple more active in that department tells me how important kissing is to this story.
Dee has stated that it's silly but he doesn't want to kiss unless he loves that person and is serious with them. But the entire show is respecting the no kiss rule which tells me that it's not silly. The entire show is respecting Dee's boundary here. And yes, Yak and Dee have come so close to kissing so many times, but they haven't. Dee has always pushed him away and Yak has always respected it when he does.
It makes me wonder what's going to happen once the main couple does eventually lock lips. Will that open the floodgates? Will the audience get to see both couples kissing then? Or will it continue to withhold that specific moment of intimacy. There's something the show is saying about the expected parts of intimacy being taken for granted and also deserving of privacy and that's up to the people in the relationship.
Kissing can be an act of love and desire, but what the show is saying is that it is not a requirement for those things. I can be completely talking out of my ass here, but something about this is really sitting with me. Not only do we get Plakao as ace representation, someone who wants a partner to cherish and be cherished without sexual expectations, but we also get the show reinforcing the ideas that love comes in all forms with so many different acts and different people are comfortable with different things. And all of that is okay. And all of those boundaries are worthy of being respected. Regardless of societies expectations for what it means to be in a relationship and be physical, whatever is right for you is right and isn't that just beautiful?
96 notes · View notes
fisheito · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
139 notes · View notes