rexythebitch

[rexythebitch]

”How many Einstein have spent their life washing dishes? How many Mozarts bend over stoves instead of a piano? Because they had the misfortune of being born a woman.”

NAH CAUSE FUNKY COOKED.

[rexythebitch]

WIFE RIGHT THERE. FUCK YEAH.

people thinking robin used this whiteboard as some weird way to flirt with steve at the start of season three when in actuality she was a lesbian with no interest and did it solely to be an asshole and point out how bitchless he is

[rexythebitch]

like it. repost it.

daily König sketch🍆 sorry, the suggestion was too funny not to finish lmfao silly guy

[rexythebitch]

help.

guys, how tf do I talk to a trans guy. he’s so gorgeous and i’m literally stupid. i need help bro, i need his tongue inside me like yesterday.

[rexythebitch]

the way she’s the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen

[rexythebitch]

IF YOU DON’T READ THIS, YOU’LL DIE YESTERDAY: AD SPONSORED BY DRYWALL. (in all seriousness, read this shit.)

Roommate!Simon Riley that, large as he is, moves quietly throughout your shared home. subconsciously follows you around while you go about your business

Roommate!Simon Riley that sleeps lightly. when he hears you pad to the bathroom at night he’ll get up and wait outside the bathroom door so he can walk you back to your room, “don’t want you getting lost.”

Roommate!Simon Riley that does your laundry for you. always claims that, “you fold ‘em wrong, give it here.”, or “you’re gonna lose these if you just cram them in the drawer— I’ll put ‘em away.”

Roommate!Simon Riley slipping “pocket change” into your pants pockets while he’s folding them… what if you need an extra twenty dollars while you’re out? gets offended if you try to slip him money

[rexythebitch]

BRUH. EVERYONE GO CHECK HER SHIT OUT. RIGHT NOW.

people start calling u simon’s work wife and he takes it literally. starts referring to you as the ‘missus’, your cheeks warming as his heavy hand rest on your hips to pull you into him.

he’s snarling at one of the recruits that stared at you a little too long for his liking, caging you in against his big ass frame. that same recruit later coming to you a stuttering mess, apologizing because he didn’t know you were married.

you aren’t, but you’re too shocked to comment on it.

and when you confront simon he just shrugs his shoulders lazily, staring at you with darkened eyes as he mumbles, “ya’ didn’t deny it.”

it ends with you moving in, you aren’t sure how it started—or if you were even in an actual relationship but everywhere and anywhere you go he’s calling you his wife.

[rexythebitch]

wc: 0.1k.

abt: silly ellie, obsessed ellie.

nerd!ellie: who choked on her own spit the first time she laid eyes on you.

nerd!ellie: who got your name, eavesdropping on a conversation you were having with a friend.

nerd!ellie: who found your insta later that night.

nerd!ellie: who keeps tabs on you. in person (classes), online (instagram), and elsewhere (her friends).

nerd!ellie: who felt guilty for being obsessed. she felt like a stalker. but she couldn't help it. you were pretty, and so dreamy.

nerd!ellie: who finally got the courage to dm u (thanks to dina and jesse's peptalk) after class one day.

nerd!ellie: who threw her phone across the room and shoved her face in a pillow after hitting 'send'.

nerd!ellie: who immediately regretted it upon hearing you text back. she scurried to look for her phone, whispering cuss words under her breath.

nerd!ellie: who had a long ass chat with you that night.

nerd!ellie: who realized she had nothing to worry about. you were kind, sweet, funny and sarcastic.

nerd!ellie: who quickly became bsfnerd!ellie.

P.S. show ur love. here too.

[rexythebitch]

could yall send me some ideas for imagined bruh. im so tired with my life, my battery is lit always negative ☕️

[rexythebitch]

ITS FALL, BITCHESSSSSS

[rexythebitch]

hey so uh 

[rexythebitch]

NAH THIS SHIT FIRE

☆ don’t blame me

jealous batboys x f!reader

requested by anon

Dick

As his partner, it was expected for him to cling around you. No matter where you went, he was there.

Your apartment, the supermarket, outside your work area- anywhere really.

He doesn’t mind if you get along with his friends and family, he’s very happy that you get along with them. But if Dick sees someone he doesn’t know, smiling and spending time with you. That’s when he gets jealous.

Whenever he sees the two of you talking, he’d often chime into the conversation as well.

He leans towards you, his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you close to his body as he interrupts the conversation.

He glances at the man that you have been talking to, narrowing his eyes slightly.

He doesn’t say anything to the man, for now. Instead, he glances down at you, a small smile on his face. “Hi, babe.”

You look back at him “Oh, Hi Dick this is-“

“Uh, huh.” He nods, completely ignoring the man as he keeps his gaze fixed on you.

He pulls you even closer to his side. “I was just looking for you.”

“I missed you.” He murmurs, his hand on the side of your waist, gently massaging your hip.

You looked at him skeptically “You just saw me an hour ago?” you crossed your arms.

He tilted his head. “And?” A slight pout formed on his face. “Can’t I miss my girlfriend?”

The man in front of you two chuckled “Well, my name is Romhelle, I was her former classmate back in high school.” he explained.

That made him immediately stop pouting. His eyes darted towards Romhelle, silently sizing him up.

His grip around your waist tightens ever so slightly.

“Oh? You two go way back then, huh?” He tried to sound as casual as he could, but clearly, there was a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Not so.” Romhelle replied “We weren’t that close.” he added. You glared at Dick “See? You don’t have anything to worry about.”

He chuckled quietly, glancing down at you before his gaze returned to Romhelle. “Oh, I’m not worried. I know she’s mine,”

His hand moved from your hip, and to your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.

After bantering with the guy, he immediately got along with him.

He was laughing, talking with him like they were best friends and as if he wasn’t jealous a moment ago.

You only stood there absolutely baffled.

Jason

Jason doesn’t like sharing unless it's with you.

Stephanie asking if he could share the cookies he bought? Nope, it’s his.

Tim asking if he could borrow his controller? Just use your own.

Damian borrowing his equipment? Absolutely not.

He would especially be Jealous if you got along with his family members. The way you laughed and enjoyed your time with them made him feel so petty.

He doesn't know why he was like this, but he always hated it when you interacted with them. He would always try to find reasons to pull you away from them, whether it be 'training' for a mission or going on patrol.

He huffed as he leaned back into the couch. His eyes are not leaving you talking with Damian. He knew he should not be jealous over something so small. He was his little brother after all, why is he so worked up about him? I mean, he’s so much better than some kid.

When Damian left, you finally noticed what was up with your boyfriend.

“What’s the matter?” you asked. He looked up at you, arms still crossed over his chest.

He let out a huff, avoiding eye contact as he talked. “I’m not jealous.”

You only chuckled “I didn’t ask if you were jealous.”

You sat on the floor with him and cupped his face, squishing it a bit “C’mere. Tell me what's wrong.” you coed teasing him a bit.

He pouted more when you squished his cheeks. He tried to look annoyed and upset, but it was hard not to feel happy with you. “Nothing’s wrong.” He looked away, mumbling. “It’s stupid.”

You looked softly at his eyes “Come on, tell me.”

“Mn? Why not?” you asked.

“Because they’re annoying and obnoxious. Why are you getting along with them so easily?”

You caressed his face “Hey, there's no need to be jealous. I just enjoy their company, that's all. It doesn’t mean I enjoy yours less.” you reassured him.

He pouted as you caressed the side of his face. He leaned into your touch slightly.

“I’m not jealous.” He mumbled, still pouting. “I just don’t know why you like them so much when they’re so annoying.”

You only chuckled softly “Oh, come here you.”

You grabbed his face and placed a hard kiss on his cheek.

He huffs, his face was dusted pink as he refuses to look at you.

“You’re embarrassing me.” he said as he leaned to your touch anyway.

You placed another kiss on the same spot “That’s the point.”

He couldn’t fight the small smile that tugged at his lips as you continued placing kisses on his cheek. He felt a warm sensation spread in his chest.

Stephanie walks in the two of you, her gaze darkened as she looked at the two of you with a scowl.

“Gross, get a room!” she exclaims.

Jason glares at Stephanie as soon as he notices her standing there.

“Why don’t you learn how to knock, Blondie?”

Bruce

Bruce doesn’t really get possesive, he knows he’s yours and you know your his.

If a guy would hit on you, he would just tell them to back off. But if someone way out of your league has your attention, that’s when he gets jealous. Why would you enjoy your time with a lame person?

When he introduced you to Clark, he had never been this Jealous his entire life.

How did you get along with him so easily? He doesn’t get it, he literally has a reporter salary.

On the drive back to Gotham, you noticed he was more silent and brooding as usual.

“What’s wrong, love?” you asked.

“Nothing.” he grumbled, his hand tightening on the steering wheel.

“You know you can’t lie to me, Bruce.” You said, rolling your eyes.

He stayed quiet for a few moments before letting out a sigh.

“Clark.” he muttered under his breath, a scowl on his face.

You raised an eyebrow at him, trying to hold back a snort.

“What about him?” you asked, pretending to be clueless.

Bruce's scowl deepened as he shot you a sideways glance.

“You were getting along with him pretty well.” he grumbled, his tone laced with annoyance.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his jealousy. “Are you...jealous?”

Bruce's grip on the steering wheel tightened even more.

“Jealous? Me? Of Kent?” he huffed, trying to sound nonchalant. “Please.”

You placed a hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down.

"Don't worry, love. You have nothing to be jealous about." you assured him gently.

His body immediately relaxed at your touch, and he reached down to cover your hand with his.

"I know." he muttered, his scowl softening slightly. "It's just... Clark has a way of getting under my skin."

"You were laughing at his jokes," he remarked, "...You never laugh at my jokes."

“But you don’t do jokes.”

"I can do jokes," he protested, "I just... choose not to."

You smiled, finding his grumpy expression endearing.

"Sure you do," you teased, patting his thigh.

He let out another huff of annoyance.

"It was... annoying."

“You think everything Clark does is annoying." you pointed out.

[rexythebitch]

me reading miguel ohara fanfics cause robbing ten trillion american banks is illegal:

[rexythebitch]

that crippling feeling you get when you see couples your age together and you think ‘is there something wrong with me?’

[rexythebitch]

I want our conversations to be the reason you slide your hand into your panties every night

[rexythebitch]

[rexythebitch]