#i have 1 friend to scream about these to
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H: can i wear...sunglasses and ear defenders?
W: yeah, wear whatever you want, mate.
H: ...fine.
W: hmm ^^
deadass what if i just started crying
#its only a small moment but the audhd holmes rep makes me want to sob#oauuuhh how i love them#sherlock and co#sherlock & co#not equipped for rambling#sherlock holmes#john watson#im so happy theyre doing explicitly canonical audhd sherlock holmes im EUPHORIC#established in episode 1. deadass. maintained.#its the bare minimum and im over here screaming#canon nd holmes?? in MYY adaptation?? i thought id never see the day#not that acd holmes isnt canonically nd cause lets be fuckin real here#WATSONS SO CHILL ABOUT IT TOO i love sherlock and co watson hes so so dear#genuinely nice man who chats with you at the bus stop vibe#adore him#I LOVE THE WHOLE CAST AAAHGGG#GO LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST#ITS SO MWAHH <33#the sheer joy of having a friend whos just like 'alright cool i get it' whenever youre overstimulated. guys. GUYS.#I LOVE THEMMMM#AAAUGHG#god bless this podcast
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The fact that Beverly’s love for Erlin is the thing that kills his god Pelor, the most important and consistent thing in his life thus far, is absolutely heart wrenching and tragic. Brian Murphy I am in your walls
#he’s just a kid!!! he saw that his oldest friend/boyfriend he’s just been reunited with is dead but he knows he can help#of COURSE he’s going to revivify him and that’s what Thiala was counting on just ahdkahdksjd#Murph is such a good dm and Caldwell makes Bev so endearing and this entire situation is just awful#(I have listened past this point but I’m still stuck on this moment. it’s all I’m going to think about for a while)#beverly toegold#erlin kindleaf#beverlin#naddpod#naddpod c1#naddpod campaign 1#naddpod c1 spoilers#(unsure if these need to be tagged but I figure I will for safety)#I scream about naddpod#white weasel talks
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Come Join the F1 Family Server 💕
It's Race Week!
We are a group of about 145 people who are very loving, open, and easy to make friends with. If you're looking for a crew to run with, consider ours! Lovers of all drivers, teams, ect are welcome here! Between us, we do not all like each other's drivers, but we know how to behave. (Healthy debates always welcome, but no fighting please!)
We have:
All qualifying and races are guaranteed to be streamed. Practices are usually streamed as well. I typically feed the chat with the radio transcript messages from multiviewer. We have a specific spot for post race chatter so people who missed the race won't be spoiled.
There's a dynamic schedule in there for all events that translates to your timezone without you having to lift a finger!
F1 Fantasy is played in there, and there are channels for streaming games as well (F1 games, or others. Our resident artists sometimes stream art as well!)
There are spots for news, rumors, pets, memes, fanfic/rpf, general F1 discussion and off topics. We even have a sprint writing bot!
There's threads for other sports and other motorsports as well. We often times will stream other sports as well.
No mics or voice chatting is enabled for now. This can be unpredictable and make some people uncomfortable, so all chatting is done via typing/texting.
We have movie/show/youtube nights often as well, where we just get together as a little community and hang out and watch stuff.
An interactive game section where you can play a fishing mini-game, help us grow Nyck de Trees, and more!
Everyone is welcome. As long as you promise not to viciously bash drivers and treat everyone with respect, we got you.
Safety is a huge priority for us. We have 5 mods and between us, someone is always active to keep spaces safe. The server is locked until rules are agreed to, and we have measures in place to limit who can join the server based on age of account, account safety, ect. If your discord account is new and it won't let you in, message me directly and I'll see what I can do.
If you've been looking for someone to share races with, to make friends with, to discuss live events in a live chat with, come hang out with us 💕 you can even mute us until race days if that's your preference!
#feel free to rb to extend outreach if you'd like!#more mods will be added soon as well i feel like with as many people as we have now we need more#they are there to keep you all safe!#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 2024#formula one 2024#f1blr#f1 fandom#we truly are a fun crew#and yeah we do argue with each other sometimes but im really proud of everyone in there bc we move on#its just gentle arguing anyway i dont allow name calling or things like that just lil debates#and everyone puts up with me screaming about pierre and esteban daily so you know they're all tolerant people LOL#anyway we would love to have you. most of the people in there#are from tumblr if not almost all of them#with a few of my personal friends and family mixed in#my mother is even in there - dw you dont have to behave she does not give a shit lmao#max verstappen#sergio perez#pierre gasly#esteban ocon#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#nico hulkenberg#kevin magnussen#lando norris#oscar piastri#zhou guanyu#valtteri bottas
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what are you laughing at, mew? i'm laughing at you. you're going off-key. are you saying i'm toned deaf? no. you're cute. why would i care if i'm toned deaf? i'm blinded by the love for you anyway. who would have thought a rich man could come up with this cheesy line?
#only friends#only friends series#only friends the series#ofts#only friends gifset#ofts gifset#topmew#topmew gifset#top tanin#mew only friends#force jiratchapong#book kasidet#forcebook#gifset#gifs#i have so many things to say about this scene#1) it's one of the cutest and wholesome scenes i've ever seen#2) the second-hand embarrassment in this is real because why are they dancing like grandpas? :')#3) the smiles they're wearing in this scene scream affection and love and they're just dorks in love atp#4) they're so adorable and happiness looks best on them :')#i honestly can't stress enough how i love this scene so much#it's safely nestled in my heart and i'll remember it for a long time#this scene makes me forget everything else that happened in ep 3 hahaha#so much love brewing between them#and the chemistry??? //side-eyeing everyone who said forcebook have no chemistry#i'm in love with the idea of them falling in love#uwu at its finest#na creates#for topmew
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(╥﹏╥)
#We've had our yearly secret santa gifts exchange at my dorm and I've been gifted the first volume of Beast 😭😭😭😭😭#I'm crying forever. This december marks three years since I've watched the first b/sd episode#and yet this is the first time I actually own a b/sd manga volume. Like I own it and I can read it whenever I want!!! How cool is that!!!!!#Like there's so many Akutagawa images in it!!!! It's insane!!!!!!!! AND IT'S BEAST AT THAT#I'm deeply moved because I never spoke about it to virtually anyone here (at my dorm)?#Like I suppose a bunch of people vaguely know I like anime but only a couple of close friends know I like. Like-like reading manga lol.#And the person who gifted it DEFINITELY didn't know I like anime in general much less b/sd specifically much less Beast in particular!!!!!#I'm 100% sure (they just arrived this year and we hadn't even had that much occasions to talk to each other).#Which means they went through the trouble of gathering intel from my close friends about what I like and actually follow through‚#seek for the specific manga in a comic store etc... It's such a nice gesture I'm so heartwarmed.#And of course I'm glad for every gift I've received in the last years (genuinely)‚ but the fact that this was the most *specific* to what–#I like. It makes it so special! They were so kind.#There must be one (1) person in this whole 60 people dorm who knows I like Beast–#(that would be the girl who introduced b/sd to me in the first place) and the fact that they asked them for it...#I feel both very grateful and lucky lol#When I unwrapped it!!! Like I thought it was just a random book which would have been nice but like!!!!!#When I actually saw through the thin paper the cover!!!! The scream I screamed in my head#Anyways!!!! I own a b/sd manga now!!!!! I've only got time to go through the first chapter so far but it's suchhhh an experience.#It's like reading it for the first time again 😭😭😭 Half because the translation is so much different than the English one lol.#And I basically know the English version by heart. Half because I never saw this kind of high quality!!!!! It's!!!!! Insane!!!!! Like!!!!!!#I'm crying 😭😭😭 The drawings are so sharp and crisp (in the good way). The lines are so clean there's no disturbance at all#I literally never saw anything so good in my life I'm crying a little. I'm so so glad they blessed me with Beast specifically#The takebon edition is pretty cheap (it's just planet manga so there's no color illustrations or dust cover or anything unfortunatelly.#But to make up for it the volumes are significantly cheaper then let's say J-Pop)#There's also some unique typesetting choices? The text from the book-like boxes is in lowercase which is interesting!#Initially I thought I wouldn't have liked the translation (opening it randomly there was Akutagawa saying “crepa!” (“die!”) to Dazai in ch1#Which was kinda jarring since it's very low register and everyone knows Akutagawa has very complex speech patterns.)#But actually reading it I'm really enjoying the translation so far!!!!#There's so many choices that made me grasp details I actually missed all the times I've read the English translation.#That is to say! Very excited to read it!!!! Will probably make a review / translation commentary if I can find the time!!!!!
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#moon knight#marc spector#steven grant#crying screaming yelling about the extended battle marc and steven have had over the house and marlene and everything#steven never wanted Marc in his mansion#and when marc took over he sold it or trashed it or blew it up over and over#steven and marcs tug of war possessiveness over the mansion and the life steven built and marlene and everything else#marc would check out and then come back and push everyone away claiming it was all his and he could do everything himself#which he would always fail eventually at because steven always handled the money and the house and jake always handled the friends#operating at 1/3 capacity was a good metaphor from the current run#anyway i have a lot of feelings about this system and i love them a lot
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Güby
impulse Güby drawing
I’m getting kind of good at art you guys
#I was listening to a recent UnderSparked video about people having encounters with serial killers and it really set the vibe#Then all the lights went out and my brain screamed while my body just calmly turned on the flashlight on my phone and kept drawing#It was like 1:45 AM and I think Güby’s coming to kill me#güby#güby & friends
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I have a 3 day weekend coming up next week you know what that means:
#im chaining myself to the tablet and not leaving until its done#i want to get it done before tf con bc i have things i want to draw FOR tf con#it will not be as pretty as the first one and i am coming to peace with that but there will be Horrors#theres going to be a bonus 2.1 bc talking to friend about the imagery and its so delicious#everyone is going to be either 1 weeping or 2 shocked like that lisa meme#can you forgive a child for doing something very childish but also horrifying and frightening and understandable from an adults perspective#welcome to nightvale voice: Someone must be to blame#ive been hinting at it where is that Garak and Julian meme it goes like this:#Julian: but out of all the stories you told me what was the truth and what were the lies?#Garak: my dear doctor theyre all true :)#me but how everything ive said about piston funny haha memes or super serious are all foreshadowing#i got 1 comic that is the final table setting piece to set the tone the mood the vibe the atmosphere and the final panel? oh youll scream#and a tf one thing and a meme on the menu for this week and then im locking and clocking in#thank you for your patience!#transformers#maccadam#tf piston#tf fankid
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having shrimp emotions abt the end of shb again
#the nemesis speaks#swift plays ff14#ffxiv spoilers#for the tags i'm sure i'll say something spoiler-y here#anyways AAAHGUGH.... wailing sobbing etc...#the way you fight HADES and not emet-selch at the end...#the way it's a climactic epic clash and a battle over the right to history#but it's ALSO the two of you kicking and screaming against an end that seems inevitable#his facade falling away piece by piece bc it's been so long and he's so tired and WHY DOES IT STILL HURT SO MUCH#AND WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET HIM WIN! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE-#and he's so ANGRY at you for daring to 1) exist and 2) not side with him#the fact that he was friends with azem AND venat and they're both dead or functionally dead now#and you are alive and you carry their legacy and you DARE to keep defying him. (THEY keep defying him.)#it's best for everyone. he wants them back. why won't they let him fix it.#he's ssooooooo.#and then ardbert i could write a whole second fucking tag essay about HIM. everything to me.#anyway. i cannot in good conscience tell anyone to play shb bc you have to slog through a lot of ''just okay'' mmo content to get there#and also it spensive kinda#but WAUGH i wish ppl saw my VISION
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hey I'm making a new tag specifically for when I'm screaming into the void but it's directed at my mutuals. Hiiiiiiii mutuals I hope you're doing well and that the end of the year is good for you all <3
#screaming at my moots#I've thought on and off about doing this cuz idk. the writing blurbs and the general void screaming feel like different kinds of post#but I've been using crane-talk for both so fuck it. new year new tag#anyways imma go through my followers and moot a few of you bc I have been meaning to do that with some of y'all#I'm bad at that. I'll see ppl interacting on my posts and go “wow I vibe so much with them!!1!” and then Don't Moot#but I rembered today. I rember#have a lovely day friends
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Me with who
I trusted, Let you in
Let you see through my broken skin
Let you tell me, People would love me
Not get sick of me, Get rid of me
I know you rarely open your Tumblr from your browser but if ever you do so, well, sana matamaan ka.
#siren screams#personal rant#relatable memes#in sound mind#Song#rant post#Friend#Im slowly distancing myself from an irl friend#I couldnt help but develop some trust issues but maybe im just overreacting#I dunno#I will just.... rant#I feel like she really hates me even if she would say it as a joke sometimes#Telling me im so annoying everytime we see each other#And we're even classmates for this school year!#But im slowly distancing myself#I cant bring myself up to a happy mood whenever I need to face her#Like not looking onto her face#Of course i know everyone in the class noticed it eveb if they wont say anything about us#Cuz they know that me and this irl friend are inseparable and always buy in the canteen during recess#But now im alone#all all alone#I have two moots here thatre my classmates irl rn#If any of you two read this. Dont tell anyone#I just... ranted#Thats all#Damn fuck i want some sleep but i cant since i need to prepare for exams next week#Its 1 pm here btw#I rlly want some sleep to replenish my whole being#Ah no lemme rephrase that--i want eternal sleep#A sleep where no one can ever wake me from.
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someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck
#who is talking about this!!!! let me know#idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which#i was anticipating#and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before#but liiiiiike.#i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them#it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there#just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse#like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no#anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite#and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up#people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out#and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible#but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding#at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends#which i am so grateful for obviously#i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol#AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad#just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t#i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it#i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this#which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao#probably for the best#ugh whatever#again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know#meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone#AAAAAAAA i just want to scream#text
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whoever requested the wta footballer au for the tennisblr promptfest...................
#i have so many ideas.#heres the problem though im getting too in my head about it because i would want to make it 'realistic'#in terms of like who would end up where and what teams are actually good#but unfortunately a lot of the countries that are good at football dont have very high ranked tennis players...and vice versa#poland did just qualify for the euros which is their first ever major tournament!#but like rus is banned italy is ok but a hot mess czechia is just fine belarus sucks#spain is good but then i'd have to write paula and i do not want to lol#australia? but what wta aussies are there. besides saville??#brazil obviously but idk do we even pair bia with anyone. she and iga are good friends but. hm.#caro garcia fell off the face of the planet which is unhelpful so france is kind of a no go#and germany haven't had a proper good wta player i think the entire time i've been watching tennis#same with the netherlands#china was good but fell off majorly in the 2010s. only coming back more recently so idk.#maybe interesting but i dont like navarro enough to write her and tbh i cant imagine another pairing for qinwen#whos left in footy. ENGLAND? i cant ship katie with anyone she and alex are like the golden couple in my mind#and i dont know enough about emma i think to properly write her#though wait..........CANADA. hm. let me cook here.#obviously wayy glossing over the americans here but thats because the main pairings i would probably do#are blocked by 1) greece being ass and 2) not wanting to write navarro (see above)#also the fact that my brain is screaming the whole time that half of these players are too tall to logically play anything other than gk#obviously this is all so irrelevant. u bet ur ass im gonna be writing this anyway.
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I support the "Batman was unfairly biased to Stephanie for XYZ reasons" crowd so strongly bc DC claims that Bruce is a master planner who is able to understand anyone's psychology but he didn't realize that literally every single one of Steph's problems as a teenager would've been solved by her joining a shitty punk band. If he couldn't figure that much out then he didn't understand her for a minute
#ramblings of a lunatic#PLEASE TALK TO ME I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON STEPHANIE IN A SHITTY PUNK BAND#her bandmates have turned into ocs it's stage 5 at this point boys#anyway what is steph dealing w/ pre-52 as spoiler that got her in hot water?#1. the anger issues. easily fixed by her getting to scream about beating her dad to death without actually doing it#2. nobody fucking listens to her (including batman). well when u are playing music ppl are definitely fucking listening#3. has no non-batfam friends and thus ends up feeling abandoned almost every time she gets kicked out of the group. bandmates are friends!#don't like being in your shitty house? go to your band mates house and jam!#need to articulate the anger issues in a way that doesn't disturb your frazzled paranoid boyfriend? write angsty songs!#also I do genuinely have a lot of thoughts on how music was applied to Stephanie's character and what it tells us about her#like she loved it. clearly. and she was GOOD at it too. steph is constantly perceived as a screw up and has pretty low opinion of herself#piano was something she could take pride in. in i believe issue 113 of tims og robin series-#-tim is AMAZED at her playing all these years later. so is nocturna a few issues earlier#there's a standard visual language in comics for good or bad music- notation drawn in either shaky or smooth lines#stephs are all smooth and golden. she's good even after all these years of not practicing#but all she says to tim after he compliments her is ''i used to be better...'' SHE SEES THE WORST IN HERSELF AND HER ABILITIES#SHE DESERVES A CHANCE TO FEEL GOOD AT AT LEAST ONE THING LIKE SHE FINALLY GOT TO AS BATGIRL IN HER SOLO#and onto my final point: dinah has several times expressed some degree of fondness/admiration for steph. steph has likewise trained w dinah#and thinks she's cool as fuck. which makes sense. bc dinah is cool as fuck#and what is dinah in??? that's right. a band#steph should join dinahs band for her mental health. this has been an essay#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#dc batgirl#batgirls#<- since that series re-canonized pianist steph!! bless them!
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ugh. my father insists on telling the family group chat whenever i take a lil half-step towards being a functional adult. "oh, ella is learning how to drive in the snow! also, did you know that shes taking a class to become a pharmacy technician?" dad im 25. your next youngest daughter is starting a master's program. shut the fuck up, not everyone needs to know i couldnt drive in the snow until now
#PLEASE just forget i exist#ill let you know if i ever become a homeowner and therefore 1/4th as successful as everyone else#not infrequently i look at my peers and remember that autism is actually. like. a significant disability#and that the vast majority of people diagnosed with autism are unemployed#and it. uh. doesnt make me feel better about myself#it used to be a 'hey. compared to your real peers you arent lagging behind at all!'#but now its 'you are statistically unlikely to ever pull yourself out of this rut and into a position where you feel#comfortable asking for the love you want and nearly all of your friends have had'#its at least partially the meds but i feel aggressively nauseous#immediately after posting this i entered the crying and throwing up and acting visibly hysterical in front of others#*phase. the phase of screaming crying throwing up. not screaming yet but ive got a drive coming up and i plan on#screaming in the car
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this week i stfg
#a week of discovery#far less secure in my gender than i thought#high chance I've got some sort of nerve damage that makes me unable to feel anything good#and will alienate me further#apparently i'm still holding onto trauma from 7 years ago that's making it so fucking hard to go to my work christmas party alone#but my +1 pulled out so it's alone or not at all#it turns out that my closest friend doesn't view me even remotely as closely as i view them#which is fair and exactly what i expected why would they view me as their best friend#but gutting to find out the way i did#i feel nauseous thinking about it#now i don't think i can interpret them including me in things as anything beyond a guilty or obligation invite#my presence really must be so burdensome#maybe i should turn back to my terminal burrowing shtick#it's contained#oh and the cto at work has way too much confidence in me#and is gunning to give me a job i do not have the skills for#but can't rightfully say no to#and now i've woken up with a migraine#and my skin is screaming#i think im gonna be more alone that before#it was already unbearable
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