#immediately after posting this i entered the crying and throwing up and acting visibly hysterical in front of others | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lesbianralzarek · 11 months ago

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ugh. my father insists on telling the family group chat whenever i take a lil half-step towards being a functional adult. "oh, ella is learning how to drive in the snow! also, did you know that shes taking a class to become a pharmacy technician?" dad im 25. your next youngest daughter is starting a master's program. shut the fuck up, not everyone needs to know i couldnt drive in the snow until now

#PLEASE just forget i exist #ill let you know if i ever become a homeowner and therefore 1/4th as successful as everyone else #not infrequently i look at my peers and remember that autism is actually. like. a significant disability #and that the vast majority of people diagnosed with autism are unemployed #and it. uh. doesnt make me feel better about myself #it used to be a 'hey. compared to your real peers you arent lagging behind at all!'#but now its 'you are statistically unlikely to ever pull yourself out of this rut and into a position where you feel #comfortable asking for the love you want and nearly all of your friends have had'#its at least partially the meds but i feel aggressively nauseous #immediately after posting this i entered the crying and throwing up and acting visibly hysterical in front of others #*phase. the phase of screaming crying throwing up. not screaming yet but ive got a drive coming up and i plan on #screaming in the car

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