#i hate people who do that like there's no victim in this shit they bothed wronged each other

[thetepes]

so gen question i hope doenst come across as offensive, but in your bio you say you dont like how the topic of lily is discussed and thats why you made ur blog. but it seems like you're agreeing with the other blogs in the lily-sphere uncritically. so which ones were you initially frustrated with, and what was the behavior you found so wrong in the first place?

I also think the lily hating has long since crossed over into lolcowing, to the extent that its very difficult to imagine real accountability is possible anymore. I agree with the stance you take in a lot of your posts, and then i see you reblogging and agreeing with the worst offenders in the lily sphere so like. have you changed your mind?

Look, I'm upset right now so excuse me if I'm terse, but I've REPEATEDLY and VERY LOUDLY admonished people for not giving a shit about her racism and homophobic bullshit.

I am extremely critical of who I reblog because there are plenty of people in this space who are just in it for the attention and bants, I've not been shy about that. I refuse to even follow people who post worthless shit.

I know you mean Sai, just say Sai. Sai has talked repeatedly about Lily's abuse of Courtney, Britt, in general, her trying to take away both her and Ant's channels, her racism, and her pedo inclinations. She might not cover it in totality on stream or in one big long video, but she doesn't shy from it. She's talked about it on stream.

She's also the only one of 3 people who checked on me behind the scenes after I was racially abused and purposefully triggered. She's also been one of Britt's loudest supporters.

I don't agree with her on a lot, I've openly not agreed with her on a lot. I've told her personally what I don't agree with her on. I've told her she can be out of pocket. She's one of those fun people you can go "Ayo, I disagree." and have a conversation with. There are some things she's just not going to budge on, donkey of a woman, and that's just fine with me.

And let's be fucking real, she's one of few in this space that takes the racism seriously. I've seen what people say. I know they only care until someone cries "You're not focusing on the important topics enough" then they call it "Lily being mean" because maybe six people in this space at most can handle confrontation and their ally ship only extends to the tip of their nose.

The media takes matter because that's where she shows her racism, xenophobia, homophobia, and pedophile inclinations the most. She couldn't even review hamtaro without making it weird with adding incest and sexualizing a literal baby hamster. Going over the media takes shouldn't be the main focus, but it serves a very good purpose.

My aim on here was to talk about her racism. It matters. Even if it's just me screaming about it in this godforsaken space, it matters. I'm tired of racism being given a free pass because it's progressive to hate asians and fetishize anyone darker than tea stain on teeth. I'm tired, as a CSA survivor, of the shit she's made like The MLP pedophile rape game getting a free pass.

I'm tired of people like you pretending none of this matters anymore because there was no big Lily left the internet blow up. That's not how things work most of the time, sorry. People like her and Birdie and Patricia and any of the other people I've mentioned on here don't take accountability and the police don't give a shit about online crimes most of the time. I'd know, I was blamed by them for being groomed as a kid and told I wanted it because I went in those spaces.

All we can do is keep pointing it out, supporting victims, and raising awareness of not just Lily, but other people like her that just will not face the justice their victims deserve while trying to mitigate harm. If you don't want to be a part of that, fine. Harm reduction is work and it's work you will not be acknowledged for. My advice is curate your experience like an adult. That's the healthiest and happiest way to live your life online and off.

So no, I've not changed my mind.

[lobo-inu]

saw a post that reminded me of my really bad past experiences with tesblr, and how lucky i am to finally have a tes server that’s like…. actually safe. and full of people who are nothing but genuine. especially now that i’ve healed a lot, too.

i’ve heard SO MANY horror stories about rumors people in this fandom spread - and i’ve also been a victim of them too, lol. been called a scammer (was getting donations for a live saving surgery. thats it), a mysoginist (literally just explaining my mother-based trauma and being scared of adult women lol), and also like. had rumors go around about me apparently letting minors into an 18+ server. even tho i fucking hate interacting with minors online w a passion. i made a past server that was previously 15+ to 18+ and kicked all minors bc they could not fucking behave and respect boundaries.

oh, also pure ableism when it comes to a Very stigmatized diagnosis of mine. :| that was from the same person who called me a mysoginist. people over here making insane headcanons for me, i guess 😭

….so yeah. just awful, out of character shit going around.

i’ve lost a good few people i considered friends who were quick to listen to these rumors instead of just. idk. communicating with me.

this fandom irks me a lot with it’s behavior on a personal level beyond that, though. Skyrim had been one of my most intense hyperfixations since i was in a single digit age. so it sucks having such a hostile and drama-hungry community when all i wanna do is share OCs and shit.

this sounds fucking insane, but past experiences here have caused my anxiety disorder to skyrocket to such a drastically dangerous degree, so its kinda crazy that i’m even back here. typing this out is giving me chest pains lol. like this is probably one of the worst fandoms to get involved with

with that said, thank you @ the people who’ve made my return an enjoyable experience. and thank you to those who stuck around even after i left in 2023, and stuck by me and my honesty vs rumors. yall are the fucking real ones. and also the babygirls server, friends both new and old - i love u guys. thank yall for helping me continue this personal healing journey of mine (yall know what i’m referencing).

if anyone has had any ridiculous experiences here, do feel free to share 😭 cause i know i’m not the only one. also god i love the babygirls server. pls join the babygirls server

[nothing0fnothing]

A lot of people don't understand that likeability is a massive decider in how we acsess the world, and how that disproportionately affects survivors of childhood abuse.

If we're likeable we get perks. We might get upgraded on our flight. We could get a little freebie here and there. Humans are social creatures. People like us, and in turn want to do nice things in hopes we will like them back. That's super cool. Win for humanity. Nice people deserve nice things. Everyone deserves a free latte or a slightly nicer hotel room as a treat.

But we don't just deal with this kind of social exchange for flights and lattes. Buying a car is a social interaction. Job interviews are social interactions. Doctors appointments are social interactions. Stop and searches or traffic stops are social interactions. If you're likeable, you will probably get a car for a fair price or a job you're qualified for. You will find it easier to get your doctor to listen to you or you might be able to charm your way out of a ticket. If you're not likeable, those things become harder for you.

So.. what? Karma. Good vibes. What goes around comes around. Be nice to people and they'll be nice to you, duh.

But likeability has very little to do with being nice. For most people, being likeable isn't in their control. If you're ugly or fat, if you're not white, if you're lower class, if you're disabled or neurodivergent, suddenly whether you're liked or not has very little to do with how you treat other people, it's about how they perceive you. It's painful when you just want people to like you, it's dangerous when you need them to.

This is why abusers attack their victims likeability.

Gaslighting. Smear campaigning. Public shaming. Isolating the victim till all their friends and family wonder why she suddenly thinks she's too good for them. It all puts a victim in a place where they fear they won't be believed not because they're not credible, but because they're no longer likeable. They're both social currencies, but when you need help and support, likeability always spends better.

Remember Depp v Heard? What was all that revenge porn and outright lying all about? It was about making Amber Heard; the young and beautiful, self educated multilingual, long time human rights champion and loving mother, unlikeable. It was all utter bullshit, but it worked. People were making memes out of her rape testimony. They swarmed her with hate outside the courthouse. They followed her home and posted feces through her letter box. His attorney joked publicly about all the ways she intentionally triggered Amber's PTSD moments before she was to face the world in the most public domestic abuse trial in history, and the public laughed with her. Depp, with the help of his high profile colleagues and incredibly expensive spin doc- I mean lawyers, made Amber unlikeable, and when people decided she was unlikeable they decided she must also be uncredible.

Abusive parents also have the power to make their victims unlikeable. They do this by consistently traumatising them into socially disparaged behaviour, while projecting to the world a picture of the perfect family dealing with a "problem child".

We have a picture in our heads of battered children as withdrawn, quiet little angels, sadly suffering in silence just waiting for someone to notice the pain in their eyes and save them. In real life, this is rarely the case. Most children who have experienced early life abuse are reactive and disruptive. They are defensive and quick to anger. They are loud or sarcastic and they don't respect authority. In short, they are mirrors of the environment that they deal with at home. Due to this, behavioural interventions outside of the home does very little to help, the root of the issue isn't being fixed. So they get reputations as difficult little shits.

These kids go out and interact with the world like the hurt and traumatised people that they are, and the people that are supposed to be their safety net by reporting any suspicions of abuse to CPS, simply don't. Why? Because we find the child less likable than their parents. So when the child says "help me, my home life is horrible", we compare our impression of them to our impression of their parents, and usually without even realising why, we don't take them seriously.

Paris Hilton is an adult survivor of childhood abuse and torture at the troubled teen wilderness programme. Now an adult she uses her platform to speak up, but on that platform she's also told some harrowing stories of how her reputation as a vapid, self serving mean girl/wild child once kept her silent. She wouldn't be believed and her pain would only be mocked or shamed if she spoke out sooner. It's only after years of rebuilding that reputation into one that better reflects who she is as an adult, people are ready to believe her now. Why? Because she wasn't likable then, but she is now.

The thing is, most of us don't grow up into beautiful, wealthy superstars who age like fine wine and are universally loved by every sane person on the planet. Some of us are traumatised as children, who grow into traumatised teens who grow into traumatised adults. Being a traumatised adult is better than being a traumatised teen in a lot of ways. Having the power to simply not speak to the people who abused us for all our formative years is a big one. Not needing the signature of those abusers to acsess things like shelter, sustenance, support and medical care is another. It's not all bad being an adult survivor. It's not easy either though.

Like, I'm only half joking when I say having a stable family you can rely on into your adulthood is a privilege. Most of us don't have that because the smear campaigns didn't just Thanos snap out of existence the moment we turned 18. Out extended families often still see us as the bratty, entitled, violent little shits our abusive parents have been telling them we are since we were walking. On top of that all those authority issues and behavioural issues and PTSD symptoms we had as kids are still there, because nobody believed us when we asked for help so we just never got it.

It has nothing to do with who we are as people, but we just give off "bad vibes." It makes us susceptible to revictimisation and it means when people see the resting bitch face or the anxious fidgeting or the deadpan tone of speaking, their natural human judgement meter decides they don't like us. So we don't get upgraded on the plane and we don't get free lattes and yeah we pay more for things like cars and services because the natural drive people have to give each other favors doesn't really work for us. So some of us don't get perks but that's okay, they're perks because not everyone gets them. It's not a big deal.

Accessing the world shouldn't be a perk of being untraumatised. But when we lose out on job opportunities because our interviewer finds a non traumatised person more likeable than us, it feels like it is. When we don't have a saftey net of familial support so it takes us longer to recover when we're down on our luck or just down in the dumps, it feels like it is. And when we are less likely to be believed when we are reporting either current or historic abuse, it feels like it is. And when we struggle to acsess medical care because our doctors associate typical behaviour of traumatised people with attention or drug seeking, it feels like it is.

[floralscented]

to the anon that asked if i've seen this, i don't know how anyone expected me to, because i am normal, and do not search my user to see if anything mentions me, and i was not even properly tagged in this alleged explanation & apology to me.

and to the person posting this, if you were really sorry, i want to know why you didn't tag me to see this explanation. unless of course you're arty, STILL, and believe that i have blocked your anons & therefore your ip is blocked and cant mention me. or, the other simpler theory, is that you drafted this on your main account where you are blocked (and for some reason, so am i? explain this.) and forgot to take the / out of my user. i want to know why an anon had to tell me that i was being apologized to; an anon that is more than likely this account, more than likely arty herself, once again trying to paint herself as a victim.

i do not believe this. these stories do not line up with the experiences that i have had. in the text message screenshots that arty posted, she said she was done with the friend, and now suddenly she's met up to demand an apology for me from this person, where i was not tagged, but also my new user was listed?

also, the self awareness & tattling on yourself while still refusing to take any accountability for your actions is insane. "i hate people being more successful than me." because my acct, by the graces of god, somehow blew up in the three months (happy anniversary to me today! what a way to celebrate!) that i've been here, and you were mad that my stuff was blowing up whereas yours was... not, to the degree of mine, a newbie who didn't deserve it? i was the one who told dahlia to khs. oh, so the messages i got sent saying you weren't the one saying this, were a lie? so the time you blamed your word for word copying of my work on the fact you also got one, was just you sending yourself one to get pity points? you forget, arty, that i'm not as stupid as you think i am, and i have been on the receiving end of this for so long that i remember things.

how could bots she already had made coincidentally line up with what people were asking for in the server, or talking about? how could you, a hacker, learn how to make them in exactly arty's style to keep up with the server's discussions? and how did you just suddenly, allegedly, overnight teach yourself how to format entire posts just for the purpose of posting her shit because you were... jealous of her? none of it makes any logical sense.

this is genuinely terrifying. it's terrifying to log on here when i do, and to worry that you, arty, are still talking about me. that you, arty, are still monitoring every move i make. it is terrifying that i have been here for 3 months and 2 of them have been spent trying to defend myself and protect myself from you, who will both not take accountability and not leave me alone when i've asked thousands of times.

it's crazy how quickly your narrative shifted from pleading for people to believe you to downright pinning it all on ME. saying that I am the one who keeps bringing this up, i am the one who won't let it go, because i let your terrible response from two days ago go and was planning on keeping it that way. you are the one who won't let it go, and won't just leave me be.

i hope the self projection extends to mean that you are genuinely seeking help, and i hope one day you can find it in yourself to realize your mistakes, just as much as i hope that they haunt you for the way you've been haunting & stalking me.

this apology is not accepted, because there is no accountability, and i know that this is still, as it never is, the end of this battle that you keep dragging on, and forcing me to address, and then pinning it on me saying that i won't let it go.

leave me alone.

my name is ellie. I’m 24, I live in london, and I’m the person who had masqueraded as @artyandink from the 31st of november to the 17th of december. I have been on tumblr the past few weeks, and I am the one who stalked dahlia’s accounts after making my own. after everything, arty met with me in person and told me to tell everyone the truth.

I have been arty’s irl friend since sixth form in secondary school, when she let me be her friend since I was a transfer student. we both went to separate universities, but we still kept in touch by meeting almost every weekend. on november 30th arty got a call saying that her grandfather had a heart attack and was supposed to go in surgery for a heart bypass, so arty took the first flight to india. she’d mentioned her password to her socials, so I went and logged in to her accounts after she mentioned on a reblog that she wouldn’t be on her account because she had to take an emergency flight.

I logged into her discord, instagram and tumblr accounts including her microsoft and started acting like her. I checked her drafts and through the information I got from the discord channel, I changed the look of her posts and gave them gradient text as well as copying the aesthetic of others. I messaged people on discord pretending to be her, and for fun I copied @/floralscented and blamed it on ‘autism’ and ‘depression’, also acting like I was in arty’s place and had everything she did, like her boyfriend and things about her life that I already knew after being friends with her for seven years.

I was the one who sent an anonymous ask to dahlia telling her to khs. I was the one who sent the anonymous asks shit-talking arty and trying to get them to drop her. after that didn’t work, I created the persona of dani thinking that they’d like her more than arty. it didn’t work, so I got removed from the discord server and everyone thought arty was a psycho.

when she came back from india on the 10th of december she needed to take a week to rest, but she was still tired as she was calling her family every day to check on her grandfather. when she logged back on she found almost all of the fics she had in her drafts posted, bots on her c.ai that were previously planned in her word document posted, along with ones that were set to private. everyone thought she was a psycho and when she found out it was me because she knew how I texted and got paranoid with people she texted me asking why I did it.

I did it for fun. I did it because I hate people being more successful than me. I hated the fact that arty went to a better university, had more friends, a better life so I did the same thing on tumblr and discord for her instagram account as well and sent people horrible messages that she only saw when she came back.

I’m sorry for hurting dahlia, kari, oct, breezy, jemma and lastly arty. I made it impossible for her to talk to anyone she didn’t already know on here. I’m sorry for acting like a psycho, and I’m now receiving psychiatric help for what I did to her, and this is why I’m exposing what I did. I’m the psycho, I’m the insane one, I’m the stalker.

[crouton-moons]

Zionist.

saying don't fall for scams does not make someone a zionist. tumblr asks are NOT actual calls for aid!

i was just going to delete this ask like i do all scam asks, but i figured id post it just in case other people are getting similar things for... not being gullible? for trying to stop other people from being scammed and sending their money to scammers instead of actual palestinians?

many people in palestine obviously need aid. an obvious bot sending thousands of messages to thousands of people asking for "aid" will not help those people. they aren't from actual victims. they're from random people who are weaponizing the kindness of strangers to make a buck. falling for it helps absolutely no one. critical thinking is even MORE important in a time like this, stop falling for this obvious shit! they're just like the ai porn bots. they're used by the same exact people for the same exact reasons, getting money off those who are gullible. they're scumbags who are weaponizing peoples empathy to make a buck off a genocide. stop. falling. for. it.

they're trying to take advantage of you. they're assuming you're too stupid to think critically about who you think you're helping. stop proving them right.

there are thousands of actual ways to donate to those in need that aren't tumblr ask scams!

[swkbiggestdefender]

There nothing I hate more than people making wukong and macaque anger with each other one sided like are you watching the show with closed eyes their both equally pissed at each other like it's not just macaque who's mad wukong is also mad it him if he was the only one in the wrong why would he be mad at him use your brain like the whole point is that they both wronged each other and hurted each other in some way there is no the one who's at fault or the one who should apologise they both should apologise period

[ghstdsoldier]

no @ama-tcra-su because what i DONT think you are doing is actually the best NOR healthiest way to spread awareness about autumn.

Do I think folks need to be aware of her actions? Yes. Absolutely. I do. Do I think you are handling this properly. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.

I knew the original victim and writer of her original callout. and i knew there was an updated/modified version of it with ADDITIONAL information. Which isn't being shared. There was MORE information. I at least knew her well enough to know that... THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED.

you condoning harassment and saying 'well its what she deserves' because she harassed others is not the proper OR HEALTHY way. It doesn't make you any better.

go seek PROFESSIONAL help. touch grass. Take a break. It's the holidays and you have not just picked at old wounds but you have completely tore them apart.

you are creating your own personal vendetta and hate campaign on somebody you WERENT REALLY EVEN CLOSE WITH ( which you even fully admit to -screenshots below ).

You are NOT educating people. you are straight up harassing people.

you are not any better.

Stop it Drae, you're not doing anybody any favors.

See the line: "We may not have been close.."

[trans-estinien]

people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild

[snekdood]

Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.

[medicinemane]

Mike johnson has so god damn much blood on his hands, obviously Ukrainian blood, but also plenty of American blood

Refusing to renew something that helps vets exposed to atomic blast and Americans who were downwind of the fall out... it's just sick. I can't fucking stand mike johnson, he's one of the worst scum to ever be in congress, and that's fucking saying something

"Johnson refused to allow House members to vote on bipartisan legislation to renew and improve the program"

Fucking quivering little pimple seems to have a real MO for just wringing his hands while insisting it's not his fault, he just can't do the one fucking part of his job of putting shit up to a vote... oh boo hoo, so sad, he'll just have to unilaterally let funding expire on things instead of literally just putting it up to our elected representatives to see if they want to vote yay or nay

Single handedly make the choices but it's not his fault when they work out how they do

Murderer

[homophyte]

im ngl the way some ppl on this site talk abt christianity is really baffling

[snakes-of-the-undercity]

THIS

Behind every 'JINX IS A REVOLUTIONARY' poster is someone who completely disregarded the Firelights and what she did to them.

[readymades2002]

it is very frustrating because my mom does not know What The Deal Is but she certainly Suspects (for good reason. to be fair to her.) and she has Insinuated and she has Implied but she has not asked anything specifically. and its...not unreasonable for her to do this i guess because the last relationship i was in i didn't tell her for a year and a half. because the relationship BEFORE that was my first and it was with a girl and i asked her EXPLICITLY AND URGENTLY to not tell my dad about it because he was a massive homophobe and i knew this and saw this where she did not and she told him anyway and i have not trusted her since though, having few other options, i have continued to confide in her things that i should not confide in her that have then mysteriously made their way through all our shared coworkers back to me. and its.....its so. i don't know what to do about it. she..."stalked" is the wrong word but she followed my blog against my wishes and knowledge as a child and the more i lost trust in her and stopped talking to her the more she pried into my private life. i know my sister had similar experiences with her. and it has created this cycle where i keep trying to keep her out for my own privacy and dignity and safety and she just gets even more desperate and pathetic trying to get in after breaking my trust over and over and OVER again but i live with her and depend on her for far too many things and so it just. is this. awesomesauce

[dogboyforzen]

not to do "discourse" or whatever on whats mainly supposed to be a blog that i use to find posts but im glad other people are finding val/houn (alyx vance/barney calhoun) weird. its like you guys saw people debating tooth and nail about free/mance and anti free/mance rhetoric of "hes actually in his 40s and knew her as a kid thats weird" and went "so lets pair her with the other 40 something year old then!"

[go-fornicate-yourself]

Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser

(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)

Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.

And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.

The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.

Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.

He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.

He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.

And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.

He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.

Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.

It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.

There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.

So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.

But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.

Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly

They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.

Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.

But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.

So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.

I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.

[bat-the-misfit]

ok i keep complaining about feeling sorry for the victim from my story

BUT I DIDN'T EVEN CREATE THEM YET

what if they're a monster who only caused pain to people and their killer is the actual victim for having to pay for ending the victim's cycle of cruelty once for all??

omg what should i do the other idea (the one where i would criticize society) was also good 😭