#I have more opinions on him; but if I said how I really feel right now I think it would get me put on a list

[kiragecko]

I recognize that I'm probably not the target of this post. Or, at least, the reblog. But, this IS on topic, even if it has a different energy!

-

It can be challenging to renavigate a relationship with a subject when your previous relationship was HEAVILY effected by a cultural context that is no longer there.

I used to dip my toes into the Harry Potter fandom despite not being able to read the books. (I read for writing style, and hers didn't work for me.) This was back in the mid-2000s, and a huge number of my peers had grown up transformed by this series. They were now adults who considered it an important childhood touchstone. Saying that I hadn't liked the writing style, but thought the ideas were cool, could offend people who thought it was EXTREMELY well written.

So I learned to enjoy the fandom from the sidelines, accepting that I was a bit of a curmudgeonly fun-killer. Keeping the grumpy bits quiet.

And then public opinion shifted, and shifted HARD.

And suddenly the carefully mapped ground was unknown again. People wanted to rant about how the writing sucked. How terrible the ideas were. Positivity got attacked. Quiet enjoyment of fan creations was seen as public support of Rowling's beliefs. Mild comments about the writing being only okay gained "agreement" that it sucked and had never been worth enjoying. There wasn't ROOM to process my opinions about her beliefs for quite a while, because I was too busy trying to figure out how to reconcile with a completely new environment, which was equally dissonant with my opinions of the book, but in very different directions and with a LOT more aggression!

The urge to talk about not liking the books was STRONG. Because I HADN'T been able too before! People got mad if I tried! But I was used to a context of people assuming the book was great, and needing to contrast what I was saying with that assumption. In this new context, where the books were stupid and full of hate and poorly written, my statements sounded REALLY different. They echoed with all sorts of other voices that I wasn't expecting to be there.

-

I rarely make absolute statements, so I didn't come off as delighting in people's suffering if it gave me a chance to be right. There are some benefits to anxiously stuffing every sentence with context and exceptions! But I have a lot of empathy for some of the people saying tone-deaf things now. Because not everyone is able to master new tones at the same speed.

Sometimes people are still processing the fact that they might not get argued with if they state that the Anansi Boys wasn't that good, and they've been wanting to complain about Anansi Boys for YEARS without having to acknowledge that they HAD enjoyed Neverwhere and Sandman. And that gets in the way of the fact that something terrible has come to light.

Or they they try to talk about how Mr. Gaiman selling Good Omens 2 always felt disingenuous. Him telling people that Terry Pratchett would have wanted him to make it. They've never said it before, because fandom should be FUN, and it was just a little thing. But they care about Mr. Pratchett's memory a lot, and it had BOTHERED them. But bringing it up now gets them accused of 'boasting', and 'pretending that they knew all along'.

And sometimes, they're trying to work through a hard topic by finding its limits. They need to be able to explore 'everything he ever did sucked' before they can accept the nuance that 'he made beautiful works and also hurt people badly'.

-

There are a lot of people who jump to easy absolutes, rather than grapple with complexity. That's who this post seems to be about, and they aren't who I'm talking about.

But, conversely, It's easy to say the 'right' things when you were never invested in a topic. And you have the social skills to pick up what the 'right' thing is.

If you already HAD complex feelings about a topic, it can be harder to throw them aside and only focus on the 'right' thing. If you WEREN'T 100% buying into someone's public image, there's a period of working through your shit that kind of needs to happen.

-

Anyways, I've always been a bit uncomfortable about Neil Gaiman. I didn't think Anansi Boys was that good, and gave up after a few chapters. I wasn't surprised when people started coming forward, because there's been a little 'be careful here' tag attached to him ever since I read about the Good Omens photo shoot where he wore black and Terry Pratchett wore white and they joked about it. Something about how Mr. Gaiman told the story.

All of that is a bit tone-deaf to bring in now, even though they're things I've had to process over the last few months. They're part of my relationship with Gaiman's works that I had pushed to the side, and now need to recontextualize, but they aren't directly about the people who have been hurt.

I didn't predict that Gaiman was a sexual predator. I've recommended Gaiman's books in the past, and think his writing is some of the most gorgeous, poetic stuff I've ever read. Neverwhere is amazing. Sandman is also amazing, even if it, too, added some warning tags to Mr. Gaiman's file in my head. I don't think I'm vindicated in any way by what happened, or that talking about my previous reservations is a sign that I was oh so enlightened.

But I'm also 40-ish? I have enough experience to recognize that the world has endless 'clues', and they should be noted down, but not trusted. Maybe the first time something like this happened, I WOULD have excitedly talked about all the puzzle pieces I had gathered, which now fit into place. (But I was offline back then, so we'll never know.)

Gaiman seems to have hurt a lot of people, and lied a lot, and broken people's trust. All of which is more important than my feelings about a disappointing book that everyone kept bafflingly hyping. But in this sudden space for processing what he's done, the pressurized stuff inside of me needs to be processed before I can focus on that new content.

So the disappointing book gets priority.

[cece693]

He's Cute

pairing: bucky barnes x male reader tags: you're Loki's brother, but actually nice and come in peace, bucky finds you adorable, humor, asking out a prince from another planet is hard, just ask bucky, part 2 can be done

Tony tapped his fingers on the conference table, wearing his best ‘well, here we go again’ scowl. In front of him, the Avengers were assembled, all shooting wary glances at Thor. “So,” Tony drawled, making sure to emphasize his skepticism, “we’re hosting another Asgardian prince. Is your father just collecting them at this point?”

Thor, doing his best not to look offended, cleared his throat. “I know you hold distrust after what Loki did, but (Y/N) is our younger brother. He’s quite the opposite from Loki.”

Clint quirked a brow, exchanging a glance with Sam. “‘Opposite’ how? Less shape-shifting and more interpretive dance, or…?”

Sam snorted. “I’d pay to see that, actually.”

Thor, for his part, stood straight-backed, looking earnest—and maybe just a little bit offended. “I assure you, (Y/N) is not here to conquer anything,” he reiterated. “My brother is gentle. He's nothing like our brother Loki."

Tony drummed his fingers on the table one more time. “Yeah, we’ll see. Might I suggest we have a ‘No Asgardian Shenanigans’ sign at the front door? We can hang it right under the ‘No Solicitors’ sign.”

“That might be a tad welcoming, don’t you think?” Clint drawled, lips curling in a wry grin.

Sam chuckled. “No illusions allowed, no staff-wielding illusions, no illusions about illusions.”

Bucky glanced around. They were all bantering, but he could sense the undercurrent of nervous energy. Finally, Steve caught his eye and nodded, inviting him to speak up if he wanted. But Bucky just gave a small shrug—he didn’t really have an opinion yet, beyond thinking that maybe it would be nice to have another level-headed god around. He’d heard Loki was a piece of work, but Thor—despite his bombast—had proven a decent ally.

“Well, guess we’ll know soon enough,” Nat said, pulling everyone’s attention back to her. She tapped her phone, checking the time. “Thor? When’s your supposed to show up?”

Thor’s chest swelled with pride, as though merely announcing your name was akin to proclaiming victory over the Nine Realms. “He will arrive today—shortly, in fact. Heimdall has secured him safe passage. I ask for your patience, my friends. He is not…accustomed to Earth.”

“Oh, this ought to be fun,” Tony said, pushing back from the table. “Alright. Everyone, let’s roll out the welcome mat. And by ‘welcome mat,’ I obviously mean ‘a healthy dose of skepticism laced with potential backup plans A through Z.’ Clint, let’s find a vantage point—”

“Tony,” Steve interrupted, sounding exasperated. “He’s Thor’s brother, not a Hydra spy.”

Tony shrugged. “Better safe than sorry. Or have we collectively forgotten the Chitauri fiasco?”

Thor let out a deep, put-upon sigh, and Bucky caught the flicker of guilt in the god’s eyes. Clearly, Thor was sensitive about all that had happened with Loki. Which in turn made Bucky feel a little guilty for automatically being wary.

About an hour later, the Avengers had dispersed, though most lingered in the main atrium of the Compound. Bucky hung back near a wall, arms folded, scanning his surroundings with a soldier’s vigilance. He had no idea what to expect. A second Loki? Another six-foot-something, muscle-bound, hammer-wielding Asgardian?

The air crackled with energy, and suddenly, a swirl of rainbow light appeared at the center of the room—a mini Bifrost. Out of it stepped you.

Your entrance was about as dramatic as one could expect from a swirling cosmic rainbow, but you looked anything but menacing. Clad in simple Asgardian attire (far less extravagant than Thor’s usual gear), you blinked, adjusting to the Earthly surroundings and then you bowed—actually bowed—deeply and respectfully.

“Good day,” you greeted softly, your voice gentler than any of them expected. “I am (Y/N) of Asgard. It's an honor to meet the team that has accepted my brother Thor with open arms. I know you might be wary of me with all that has transpired with Loki, but know that I deeply apologize for any problems he...” You paused, searching for a polite way to phrase it, eventually settling with, “…might have caused.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “‘Might have caused?’ Yeah, that’s one way to put an alien invasion.” He exchanged a look with Clint, who shrugged.

“(Y/N) is different,” Thor explained, laying a large hand on your shoulder with a brotherly sort of pride. “He will not attempt subterfuge or illusions.”

Bucky, observing quietly from his corner, noticed how you half-cringed at the mention of illusions, as if even the word brought you guilt by association. You glanced around at the assembled heroes: Tony with his pointed skepticism, Nat’s arms folded in careful assessment, Steve’s polite-but-guarded kindness. Even Sam gave you a sidelong look that said he wasn’t entirely sure he believed in second Asgardian princes yet. Only Thor, unwavering in his faith, and Bruce, gently curious, seemed at ease.

Clearing your throat, you continued, “I truly want to learn of your customs and help in any way I can.” Your voice quieted further. “I understand if my presence here makes you uncomfortable. You have already faced so much.”

Natasha eyed you, the corners of her mouth lifting in the faintest of smiles. “Well, you’re certainly more polite than your brothers,” she said, glancing at Thor pointedly.

“That’s not difficult,” Clint muttered, earning a huff from Thor.

Bucky only half-listened to the exchange; he was more focused on the shy curve of your posture—how you carried yourself with a subtle humility that was so unlike Thor’s boisterous confidence or Loki’s cunning. He realized then he was staring, so he forced himself to look away, crossing his arms over his chest to maintain some semblance of aloofness.

Steve, ever the one to break awkward silences, stepped forward to shake your hand. “We appreciate your honesty, (Y/N). I’m Steve Rogers. I promise no one here means you harm,” he said in a reassuring tone.

You took his hand carefully, as if unaccustomed to the formality. “Nice to meet you, Captain Rogers.” A flicker of surprise crossed your face as you felt the firmness of his handshake. “Your grip could rival Thor’s,” you murmured, almost impressed. Thor puffed up, beaming that you’d complimented one of his comrades.

Sam spoke up next, his voice colored with curiosity. “So, no illusions, no plans of world domination…I’m guessing you’re the ‘normal’ one in the family?”

You seemed flustered, but your lips quirked in an embarrassed smile. “I—I wouldn’t quite say that. But I have always strived for peace.”

Tony waved a hand. “Alright, Peace Prince, welcome aboard. We’ll see how it goes. Just don’t conjure up any giant space whales or open any more cosmic portals in the middle of Manhattan, deal?”

Thor looked positively mortified that Tony would even imply such a thing, but you only nodded politely. “Yes, sir. No space whales. I can assure you of that.”

At the “sir,” Tony’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I like you. Please continue to address me as ‘sir’ in front of the others.”

Nat rolled her eyes. “You’re incorrigible.”

Thor cleared his throat, trying to steer the conversation back to calmer waters. “(Y/N) will be staying with us for a time—learning Earth’s ways. Please, treat him as you would me.”

“So we haze him with endless pop culture references and toss him in the deep end?” Sam joked.

Bucky saw you swallow hard, and something about your shy, uncertain expression tugged at his chest. Without meaning to, he spoke up for the first time in the meeting. “I’ll help,” he said bluntly.

Everyone turned to look at him, surprise etched on their faces—especially Steve, who arched an eyebrow as if to say, Didn’t know you were volunteering, pal. You brightened, relief shining in your eyes. “That is very kind of you. Thank you, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Just…Bucky,” he mumbled, cheeks warming the tiniest bit.

Natasha’s keen eyes flickered between the two of you, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “Great,” she said lightly. “Now that we’re all introduced, who wants lunch?”

Over the next few days, you integrated yourself into Avengers life with unexpected ease. You asked Tony endless questions about Earth technology, took great care to help Bruce reorganize his lab (after you discovered you had a knack for meticulously alphabetizing everything from chemicals to coffee mugs), and politely sparred with Natasha, who grudgingly admitted you were surprisingly tough yet considerate.

Meanwhile, Bucky quietly observed you. He watched you cheerfully fix up the lounge furniture after Thor accidentally broke a coffee table. He saw you carefully water the potted plants in the hallway, eager to ensure none of Earth’s “fragile vegetation” withered on your watch. Little by little, Bucky found himself drawn to your presence—drawn to your soft laughter, your bright curiosity.

But one thing stood out above all else: you never once bragged about your title. You never boasted about your Asgardian heritage or demanded special treatment. You even seemed embarrassed whenever anyone called you ‘Prince (Y/N).’ Instead, you were humble—sometimes painfully so. And that humility, combined with that sweet, open-minded wonder, made Bucky’s heart do somersaults he hadn’t felt in years.

Bucky sat in the compound’s lounge one afternoon, pretending to read a newspaper while sneaking glances your way. You were studying a half-eaten bag of potato chips like they were the eighth wonder of the world.

“Steve,” Bucky murmured, beckoning his friend closer.

Steve, doing his best to hide an amused smile, leaned in. “What’s up?”

Bucky tilted the newspaper so Steve could see you turning the potato-chip bag upside down, letting crumbs tumble out onto your hand. “He’s cute,” Bucky muttered under his breath, so quietly it nearly dissolved into air.

“…Should I act surprised? It was obvious from the moment you volunteered to show him around the tower,” Steve finished, his voice just as low. He flicked his gaze from Bucky to you and back again, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Bucky rolled his eyes but couldn’t quite hide the hint of pink that dusted his cheeks. “I’m trying to be subtle, all right?”

Steve snorted. “That’s rich coming from the guy who’s sneaking glances every ten seconds.”

Bucky’s gaze drifted again to you—now tapping the bottom of the potato chip bag in an effort to extract the last crumb. The entire display was so earnestly adorable that Bucky had to bite back a smile. “Look,” Bucky sighed, voice dropping lower, “he’s Thor’s brother. A prince. And I’m—well—” He gestured vaguely at himself, as if that summed up a lifetime’s worth of complications. “You really think he’d be interested?”

“Yes,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I do.”

Bucky opened his mouth to protest—he’s just curious about Earth, he’s friendly to everyone, it doesn’t mean anything—but then, as if on cue, you turned around in your seat. The instant your eyes met Bucky’s, your face lit with delight. You waved at him so earnestly that you almost spilled the bag of chips.

Bucky swallowed. “Fine,” he muttered, giving Steve a pointed look. “Maybe there’s a small chance.”

Steve suppressed a laugh, nudging Bucky forward. “Then go talk to him. Ask about chips, or Earth cuisine, or literally anything. Just say something.”

Bucky tried to summon that stoic confidence that sometimes worked for him. Instead, he felt like a high school kid with a crush. “Right,” he mumbled. “Be casual. Real casual.”

He stood up, discreetly adjusting his jacket, and made his way over to you. You greeted him with a bright smile—still holding that bag of chips as if you’d discovered gold. “Hello, Bucky!” you said. “I didn’t realize such simple food could taste so addictive.”

Bucky felt his heart do a little flip at the sound of his name on your lips. “Yeah, uh…chips,” he replied brilliantly, jamming his hand in his pocket in a desperate attempt to appear nonchalant. “They’re a big deal around here. We’ve got, uh…like, 70 flavors, I think.”

Your eyes widened. “Seventy?!”

“Maybe more,” Bucky corrected himself. He cleared his throat. “So, you like them?”

“Very much. I fear I might become dependent,” you admitted, glancing a little sheepishly at the half-empty bag. “But enough about me—how’s your day? I noticed you’ve been reading that newspaper for a while.”

Bucky cringed internally. Busted. “Oh, yeah—lots of…uh…interesting articles,” he fibbed, holding up the folded paper. He glanced at the front page, realized it was yesterday’s news, and hastily lowered it again. “Anyway, I was thinking, maybe we could…you know, get out for a while? Go, uh…check out a café nearby.”

Your brow furrowed, confusion creeping across your features. “But the Compound has a coffee machine. It’s in the kitchen, right? I can fetch you coffee, if you like.”

“No, no,” Bucky corrected, trying to keep his composure. “I mean, we could go out. Just you and me. Kind of an…outing.” He struggled with the word date, but it hovered there, unsaid.

Your eyes went wide, as though another revelation had dawned upon you. “Oh! You need supplies? Are we on a mission?”

“No, not a mission,” Bucky explained, scratching the back of his neck. “Just hanging out. Relaxing. Maybe having a nice conversation—away from everyone else.”

You nodded, albeit slowly. “A private conversation…in a place that also serves coffee?”

“Right,” Bucky confirmed, trying not to seem too relieved. “It’s…well, on Earth, we call that a ‘date.’”

He finally said it—date. His palms were sweaty, but he held your gaze, waiting.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, brows shooting up. “I’ve read about dates in one of the Midgardian relationship guidebooks. Something about courting rituals and paying for each other’s drinks to demonstrate affection?”

Bucky’s cheeks felt warmer by the second. “Yeah, that’s…that’s the general idea. You interested?”

“Yes!” you said, then paused, a flicker of doubt crossing your features. “But do we need to bring my father into this? Thor mentioned father-gifts or is that just for official betrothals? I don’t want to be rude.”

Off to the side, half-hidden in the hallway, Steve pinched the bridge of his nose to stifle a laugh. Bucky shot him a quick glare—thanks for the backup, pal. Chuckling nervously, Bucky shook his head. “No father-gifts required. On Earth, it’s usually just between, well…the two people going on the date.”

Your shoulders visibly relaxed. “Ah, excellent. That simplifies things. I wouldn’t know what to buy your father anyway—does he prefer golden chalices or—?”

“No, no,” Bucky interjected quickly, biting his lip to keep from outright laughing. “Seriously, no father involvement. We just go, maybe sit down, order coffee, talk.”

You seemed to take a moment to let that sink in. Then, you grinned wide. “That sounds delightful. When do we depart for this coffee date?”

“How about tomorrow morning? Around ten?” Bucky offered.

You placed a hand over your heart, nodding firmly. “Ten in the morning. I will be ready. Should I wear armor, or is that too formal?”

Bucky glanced at Steve again, who was now silently cracking up. He smothered a grin, turning back to you. “Casual clothes are fine. Maybe just…I dunno…a shirt and jeans, if you have them?”

“Ah, yes! The mortal garb. I’ll do my best not to clash patterns.” You tapped your chin thoughtfully. “Though everything on Earth seems to clash with my Asgardian boots.”

Bucky let out a soft laugh, feeling tension he didn’t realize he’d been holding in slip away. “You’ll be fine, trust me.”

Moments later, you excused yourself to research casual Earth attire, leaving Bucky standing in the lounge with a strangely giddy feeling in his chest. That’s when Steve sauntered in, arms folded, his smile practically ear-to-ear. “You see?” Steve teased. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

Bucky rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t quite hide his grin. “I almost had to explain father-gifts, so maybe a little complicated.”

Steve chuckled. “Looked like you handled it just fine. And if you need a quick escape route tomorrow, you know I’ve got your back.”

Bucky gave him a playful shove. “Thanks, punk.”

Steve shrugged, still grinning. “Anytime, jerk.”

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

I've been thinking about Futtara pretty much non stop since it aired and I rewatched the episode and I have a couple of thoughts. First of all, I've read the novel sex scene so I'm aware of the differences. But here is why I don't have a problem with it. I have no idea how they arrived at that scene in the novel. I have no idea of the conversations they had before. Since that scene is so different, perhaps in the novel things leading up to it are also different so no use, in my opinion, to compare the two at this moment. I understand some people's disappointment with this part, even before the translation was known, but that wasn't really the case for me. So this is my view on the episode, and I respect that people had different feelings about it. Anyway...

Like I said before, it was never about the sex. Not really, as @emotionallychargedtowel l said here, and I agree, sure the sex was important cause it was the catalyst for everything so far. Them not having it and wanting to and all that came with that. But the way I see it, the actual sex was just the last step in the progression of these two coming together and by extent cheating on their partners. I should say that the flatmates relationship continues to be the most nebulous so I'm not sure, if it would even be called cheating, but since Sei said that keeping a secret was the reason for him to be in that room in the first place, I'm gonna use the general term of cheating for both of the pairs for now.

"I'm not gonna break or anything." - Sei

One of the things I really liked about this whole episode was that I felt like Sei was just wanting control for once. He left the house, he wanted to go to Hagiwara, he wanted to be touched and he wanted to have a secret from Fujisawa. He's been caged in for so long, that those emails and this relationship, more than just allowing him to have sex, it allows him a freedom he's been missing. Their house is this still place, untouched and unspoiled by exterior forces, but it's also a fragile state of things. Because all it takes is a small change in their routine to bring it all down. That first email exchange was the first disruption in this home, in this stillness. And from there, every day the ripples get bigger until something breaks and cannot be easily put back together.

"To think nobody wants this body. What a waste." - Sei

I love this sentence. Because it can go both ways. Yes, Sei is speaking to Hagiwara, so of course he means Kaori, but I also think he's talking about himself here. Because although he has expressed desire for Fujisawa, he never had that returned. So in a way he never really felt that anybody wanted his body too.

"Saying something like that is unfair. Felt like I was gonna cry." - Hagiwara "You're neither bad nor dirty." - Sei

I'm not taking anything away from the sex itself, and the fact that they are finally able to have it. But in the end, more than it is about the act, it's about validation. And that's why this is such an emotional moment for Hagiwara. I think he had given up on that. On being able to show all of himself and feel accepted. For the first time in a long time his desire was not met with rejection or perceived disgust. And again I think Sei is talking about himself here too. He has tried more than once to get this from Fujisawa, but he was always rebuffed and in a not so subtle way. So he has come to accept that, in this context, what he's been feeling is bad or dirty.

"Nothing will change. Nothing will be destroyed." Sei "We promised right? We wouldn't destroy anything?" Sei In the hotel room. / At the end in the office.

This is where things really get messed up. I think Sei and Hagiwara before they had sex, where looking for some of the same things but also something different. Sex, obviously, connection and validation. Everything I mentioned before. But for Hagiwara, it quickly became about something else. It was about sex first, then it was about sex with Sei, specifically. He no longer simply wanted to be touched, he wanted Sei to be the one to do it.

For Sei, I think he had a plan in mind. Just get the thing done, and get out. Almost like an item to check off a list. And somehow he thought that after it, he would be fine, and he could just carry on with his life as it had been so far. And not destroy what he had with Fujisawa. Like sex was the problem, and once he had it, everything would be fine. So the life he had at home was still untouched, if all he got from Hagiwara was something that was absent there.

"What are we going to do now? Now that it's come to this... What are we going to do?" - Sei

He never entertained the possibility that it would be more than that. That it would go beyond the sex act. And all of a sudden, Hagiwara is bringing emotions into this, that go beyond the physical and Sei is a bit lost. Cause he needs to be able to go back. And this is where the nature of the flatmates relationship becomes an important piece that it's still mostly missing. Why does he want to go back? Why is it so important that this doesn't destroy what he has with Fujisawa? Does he love him? Does he feel indebted to him? Has he been conditioned in some way? Or does he believe that that is all he deserves?

He left that hotel room, and a part of him believed, that everything that had happened there, stayed there. It only existed in that place and time, and wouldn't touch anything beyond it. He went back to what his familiar. The glass box Fujisawa built for him. But things are not so easy for Hagiwara. He let feelings in and they follow him beyond the walls of that hotel room. And the fact that Sei seems so unaffected by it, hurts him deeply. Because he thought he found himself an equal, that since he understood him, he would also match him emotionally after the fact. But Sei, is not capable of that. Or not willing at least.

I'm trying not to focus on the preview right now, as difficult as that is, and just look at what we know so far. And I need to understand Sei better. I need to know what is motivating him right now. What exactly is he holding on to with such determination?

[umathurwin]

Omg hi! I feel like I’m the only sofia hater out there bc all i see are people loving her character is so boring to me and her and rafe relationship seems so forced to me like she is supposed to help him reconcile with his sister but instead, she spent all season doing nothing apart from the hollis plot

being called a sofia hater cracks me up because i feel like i never talk about her, in fact i usually forget she exists 😭 but i’ll accept it, because i really do hate the way her character (which had a great premise) was totally wasted

a youtuber i really love once described pansy parkinson from harry potter as “an original character wearing the skin of a minor character” and i think that perfectly encapsulates sofia. they make these moodboards, these stories, these elaborate headcanons about a character we know little to nothing about. do i respect it? hell yes. it takes a lot of work. but to have these intense convictions and arguments about a 0.5-dimensional character… WHY?

i went and rewatched every scene in s4 where she even just appears and wrote down my thoughts on them (despite how tedious this was… the action really does rely on the pogues) and like… wow. where do i start

her s4 introduction is the scene where rafe scatters ward’s ashes on the boat, and it’s awkward but in a fair way. i wouldn’t really know what to do either. in the same episode, she’s at the enduro cheering for rafe, but she is inexplicably standing TOTALLY by herself. i still have no idea if this was just filmed oddly or if it was deliberate but this photo kills me… girl why are you alone? at no other point is she physically excluded from the kooks like this. wtf

and after that? nearly every single moment she and rafe share the screen? he’s awful to her. he verbally mocks her in the bar when she tries to calm him down. he flirts with hollis right in sofia’s face and abases her for feeling hurt. he dismisses her every time she tries to express her opinion. rafe does not respect his girlfriend, nor does he care about her thoughts and values. how do i know?

because she knows. how exactly did she convince him to take the deal, again? well, first she says she thinks it’s a good idea, which merely amuses him. then, she makes up a lie about other club members denigrating rafe and how this deal could improve his social status—i believe this to be a fabrication because it easily could’ve and should’ve been explicit on screen if true— and this causes him make up his mind. she knows rafe’s insecurities. she knows what does and doesn’t entice him. and yeah, i’ll be honest, sometimes it makes me sick to think about how deeply she knows this man, and how little he knows/cares about her

rafe brings up marriage, living together, a future with sofia. but do you notice anything about his big grand speeches? ever notice how, when he’s describing his fantasy, it revolves around material things he can own and show off— and sofia has always been one of them? rafe never has anything to say about what she specifically does for him, what he likes about her. bc… what does he like about her? rafe is unfortunately, at the end of the day, selfish. he focuses on what he’ll be able to give her, and what having a pretty wife says about him. the occupant of that role is, well, interchangeable

when rafe “proposed” to her and she did not confess the scam, i knew it was over. this is rafe cameron we’re talking about, a man who values loyalty more than anything in the world, and that was her last shot at coming clean before it was too late. committing a betrayal (well…in the eyes of the narrative…more on that in a sec) and hiding it from him? guys there was zero chance of him learning the truth and forgiving her. i watched the premier with my mother and i even turned to her and said we just watched the final nail go into the coffin. and it did!

(also, not to beat a dead horse, but even after he gives her the ring and he leaves to morocco, he dismissively excludes her again! “i have to go” “what are you doing?” “don’t worry about it, bye!” and she just takes it?! STAND UP!)

fundamentally, sofia’s “betrayal” plotline was weak or, at the very least, not very well thought-out. it’s like the idea of sofia going behind rafe’s back was pitched, but they were unsure how to integrate that into the season. the explosive reaction that rafe had when groff revealed the plot seemed contrived, like the show wanted to put more of the blame on sofia than was warranted. rafe had all but made up his mind by the time sofia had been paid off; to claim that she was the big catalyst in his decision is unfair and literally just wrong. sure, he liked her giving her blessing (because he already wanted to say yes), but i have a really, really genuine question for all of you.

if she had said no, would he have called off the deal?

(spoiler, no. because when she changed her mind after learning of the scam, he dismissed her yet again. the show has countless opportunities for rafe to just care about his girlfriend, and he never takes them!)

while i’m nitpicking, she also never learns any information via her own efforts. every single time she uncovers a new detail, it’s because she’s working around a loud-mouth kook who coincidentally says the right thing at the right moment as she refills their ewers. fuck, can we give her a CRUMB of agency? please?

and yeah, i don’t even engage in any theory that sofia helped rafe reunite with his family. did she ever give any meaningful advice to him? she didn’t even have context—was he ever planning on telling her exactly what he’d done to sarah and her friends? could sarah even pick this girl out of a lineup?! ya, she really is the glue in the cameron dynamic. lol

counter arguments i’m ready to address:

“he takes the deal for her!” funny because,,, he really doesn’t. we even watch the reason he takes the deal— his family. rafe likes the opportunity from the jump but is hesitant because of the investment, and a dreamy montage of him, ward, and sarah is what cements his decision. sofia canonically had nothing to do with it

“but he says he’s taking the deal for him and sofia when he’s alone with hollis!” correct! but you’ll notice he literally only brings her up when hollis starts hitting on him. he’s not attracted to hollis, and her advances make him visibly uncomfortable. bringing up sofia was a way to shut down hollis without explicitly telling a business partner to get off his ass

“rafe brings up sofia’s opinion of the deal with groff!” true, but i actually see this as a display of rafe’s tact and emotional intelligence. rafe is suspicious that he’s been scammed, but it’s genuinely not wise to barge into the office of the man who has $400k of your money and your testicles in his fist to start threatening him— even when he’s not a murderer. “hey… so my gf thinks you’re scamming me… thoughts?” he’s being coy. he’s being smart. he’s not bringing up sofia in a loverboy context. cmon

***

deep inhale. okay, i’m done. i’m sorry i always forget about her. but it’s so much better than the alternative

[okayidontcare]

The Issue of Consent and Severance Discourse as a Whole

Spoilers for S2E4

So, I never post on Tumblr (and barely on other platforms for that matter). I am a lurker, and, as such, I see a variety of different takes about different things on a daily basis. I am prone to hyperfixations in media as a whole and, right now, I am obsessed with Severance.

So, I watched the new episode as soon as it was out and as soon as I watched the Mark/Helena sex scene and the reveal that it was in fact Helena all along, I knew it would create a discourse that would be unbearable, not because of the discussion itself but by the way people engage with this show (more on that later),  and I feel the need to express my feelings and my view on the subject.

Was SA or Wasn’t?

It… I don’t know. No one does. That’s the point. 

The show wants us to ponder about the autonomy of the innies and the outies, it raises this question not only in relation to the narrative of the show but in a sort of philosophical conundrum. And I think the way to discuss this has to be done with two things in mind: (a) with respect for other opinions and interpretations and (b) that we will never get a clearcut answer.

We can’t affirm Helena is a rapist, we can’t affirm she isn’t. What we can do is debate about it. Engaging with it with logic, as in, thinking that there is a logical explanation for something that is emotional in nature is counter productive. Let me demonstrate:

If Helena and Helly are different people then it’s SA. Then innie Mark didn’t cheat on Gemma and Irving saying that to him was wrong.

But, if Helena and Helly are the same person, it isn’t SA. So Mark cheated on Gemma and Irving was justified in what he said.

Do any of these sentences feel true to the show? 

Frankly, I don’t think so, because it doesn’t feel true to the emotional truth of the show. Because it is weird that Mark slept with someone else, but it is because this version of him doesn’t really know Gemma. But he also has a connection with Ms. Casey, because of the outie life. He also has a connection with Helena, because he knows Helly, but it’s weird because Helena is different from Helly. It’s a bit hypocritical of Irving to imply that Mark and Helly’s relationship is wrong when he was ready to blow up Burt’s marriage in the season 1 finale, but he is also right to point out it’s off putting to see them flirting. It is all these things at the same time. 

Because, from my point of view, they are different people and the same person at the same time. And I don’t think any of us can wrap our minds around this concept, it’s like Schrödinger’s Cat but about human nature instead of quantum physics. That’s what makes it fun, because not even the characters know what to make of it, so we see the emotional fallout of Severance rather than the ethical/moral one. And, to me, that is more interesting.

So we should discuss it, but also know that we’ll never reach a conclusion, because that would be oversimplifying the show and I think it just makes our conversation around Severance shallow. It’s a detriment to the show and to us. 

Let’s hear each other out, give different opinions, have productive debates about the show and what is saying about identity and humanity, about how it reflects on us. Don’t say to someone that has a different opinion than you that they are “watching the show wrong”, that they are “media illiterate”, like your interpretation is the only right one. If you do that, I’m sorry, but I don’t think you are actually engaging with the text, I think you are using Severance as a way to feel smarter than other people.

Let’s not treat our fellow internet users as the outies treat the innies. It’s easy to dehumanize people that we only perceive by their words on a screen, but behind each MDR profile picture is a real person with their own perspective that may not always align with yours and that’s okay, they are worthy of the same amount of respect as everyone else.

So I’ll say, at last, you are free to disagree with me. You are free to say that there is a definitive answer, that it was SA or wasn’t SA, that the innies and outies are the same person or they aren’t. I actually want to hear your take, I just ask that, when you type it, be respectful and understand that I have the right to disagree with you just as you have the right to disagree with me.

[vegathenorthstar]

i am slightly scared bc this post is getting a surprising amount of traction and also bc i've been thinking about almost exclusively atla for the past twenty-four hours straight and my opinions on this have changed slightly??

i still don't tolerate maiko *slander* bc i disapprove of almost all slander. the exceptions are like if it's against elon musk or something.

and i've always kinda understood basically all criticism of maiko?? like my thoughts on that were like "yeah you're totally right they wouldn't work together but they're super funny so idc." but now i feel like i get the criticism just a little more, like no they really wouldn't work together.

there were two main things ppl said that made me reconsider how i view them. the first was just someone pointing out that in the flashback in zuko alone mai is the one who has a crush on zuko, and he doesn't really have one on her. i think i just kinda forgot that but to me it emphasizes that mai was always more interested in zuko than her was in her. tbf he did seem to enjoy spending time w her in the first half of season 3, and and opened up to her abt how confused he felt and how he wasn't really happy, but it's still pretty clear that she cared about him far more (like... at the end of boiling rock he kinda just goes "oh wow okay" and then promptly forgets about her lol).

the other thing was someone mentioned how a big part of zuko's arc in season 2 was being a beggar, and a refugee, and a customer service worker in ba sing se, and learning to do manual labor and empathize with the common people and that he wasn't innately superior to them, and that shows when he gets back to the fire nation and he's uncomfortable being waited on, and wants to walk to mai's house instead of taking the palanquin. but when mai is trying to cheer him up, she suggests they can order some servants around, or take a palanquin ride "double-time," and making that connection made me be like "ohhhh she really doesn't get him does she?"

ppl talk a lot about her fearing azula coming out of nowhere, but i still don't have a problem w that. i think the idea that mai and ty lee were secretly afraid of azula, to some degree, and that they were trapped in this toxic, controlling friendship that they always felt compelled to play along with and pretend they were having a great time in––and, perhaps, that they did still enjoy azula's company, just not all the time/with reservations, and that they also cared about each other, and both decided to stick around for the other's sake––actually fits kinda perfectly with how they're portrayed throughout the show and is very compelling. (there are certainly plenty of moments where azula treats the two of them awfully, especially ty lee––like when she mocks her for opening up in ember island––and there's that moment in the drill episode where azula tells mai and ty lee to go after katara and sokka, and ty lee is SO insistent that they do it, because azula said so––almost like she's afraid of azula's wrath.)

lowkey now i ship mai and ty lee lmaooo

but i would like to reiterate that i do still like maiko, even though i acknowledge that their ship doesn't work, bc their dynamic is so fricken hilarious to watch. a large part of why i adore "ember island" so much is because of them. it's actually a little insane bc before season 3, i knew they were a thing but could not for the life of me imagine what them interacting would possible look like––i was like "wow this is going to be the worst ship in the universe... they have nothing in common... i genuinely cannot envision them making it through a single conversation on anything remotely interesting ever..."

and then they did interact and it was perfection and every time they were on screen together i was in STITCHES bc they're incredible omg

i also just liked that zuko had someone who was even a little bit in his corner while he was stuck in the fire nation having an existential crisis.

i honestly think they would work equally well as friends? i'm not against the romance, which is why i'll still go "yeah i like maiko," but especially since i do also feel that them in a relationship doesn't work long-term i think i need more maiko friendship/best-friendship––as long as they're interacting with one another, because i NEED more of them so badly. even when they're being dysfunctional/acting cruel towards each other, i'm just like "omg peak comedy. also. pookies :D"

(i also said in a post last week that they give me gay-best-friends vibes, and i still stand by that. and yes, i do also ship zutara... pls don't ask me how that works i don't know okay it's all just ~vibes~. idk maybe everyone is bi or something. i am kinda sorta genuinely convinced mai is a lesbian tho)

so. in conclusion i guess. my stance on maiko has recently landed firmly on the side of they do not work together, romantically. but i still love them bc they're silly and toxic and stupid and very very dear to me. but i don't really ship them and i like zutara far more. but if you do ship them i'm fine w that! but maybe. i just see them as friends? and also i ship mai w ty lee (... do they have a ship name) as of like ten minutes ago?? but maiko romance doesn't bother me! i kinda like it! sometimes!

in conclusion take two. maiko (romantic or platonic) are Peak

do NOT slander maiko in my presence they r so dear to me

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[cryptvokeeper]

I dare not speak it in the tag because I value my energy but no one has the correct opinions about nosferatu 2024 except for me

[ducktollers]

chat im really starting to fear that spiderman 4 wont have peter be nearly as sad as i need him to be. nothing at all has happened to indicate that but i just got a bad feeling. im almost completely expecting disappointment atp im just like mj fr

[bloogers-boogers]

THIS. I’m glad you’re feeling more free to discover new things about yourself! It feels nice to have control of your own path without someone dragging you to theirs. I discovered a lot of things about myself that I never consider having, happening or experiencing when I decided to stop listening. However I’m lucky I was never forced to be religious I was lightly encouraged to follow one if I wanted to however I was never put in schools or forced to go to church. It was all willingly, there was a point in my life that I went leaping into different religions (to find some sorta place to belong to, to feel understood?) until I felt comfortable in one (christianity) but as much as I felt comfortable in the church I was at, I never felt connected to the words of the bible. Or the belief of a god. But they’re moments I do question it, from the religions I’ve been, there certain things I kept following without much of a care. Just cause it doesn’t hurt to believe in something if it gives a good message? Makes you do good. This is the idea I followed most of my life when it came to religion. I may have a hard time believing in whats shared from different beliefs but I do believe in good faith. I no longer follow a religion however if I’m asked I would simply answer that I haven’t been connected to god in a while. Im not saying I stopped believing but im also saying im not really interested in talking about it. But that doesn’t stop that I was surrounded by people with conservatives views and opinions that affected the way I thought as a child. A reason to why im also careful in how I say I don’t believe in religion, MAYBE a god, but not religion. They’re people who’ll force it to you with corrupted ideals,beliefs or whatever (like fucked up people) which entirely goes against the whole message of god. Who are we to judge someone based on their race, gender or sexuality. If god were real I doubt he’d care, he loves all his children. Base on the church i was at I was told you’re only ready to be forgiven if you’re ready to accept god into your heart. Nothing else. I wasn’t pushed to accept him, to be there or to follow a way some pastor declare were the right things to do. There was no rules but to respect others, be kind, and spread the word of god to anyone who needed it. Everyone was welcomed there. The moment they changed pastor I immediately felt a different vibe from the previous, I felt pressured to speak about the lessons we were being taught about and I didn’t like how he’d preached. I wasn’t comfortable. It felt forceful. Religion felt like a joke and god felt so far away from me. So I bailed, I was already distancing myself from that church because of other problems and this just made it easier for me to leave.

And now I just follow what my heart wants to believe! I believe in whatever the afterlife takes me to, in the meantime I enjoy what life offers me. Or at-least try to. The moment someone uses god as an excuse to be an asshole I cringe so hard because fuck no. Those are beliefs from man, not god.

So yeah, I don’t care if it’s a sin to obsess about fictional characters (nswf drawings, smut fics, sexualizing a character, fantasying about said character, etc), not following a religion, to explore myself, be queer! Have no idea what the hell am I in gender terms. Call me weird, tell me I’m going to hell! I don’t care, it won’t change how I think or see the world. I feel comfortable in how things are currently within my thoughts of faith. That’s what matters.

I’m happy that you’re in better more comfortable place ❤️ sorry for the long ranting! I didn’t think I’d fall back into talking about my religion problem

Adamsapple has made more comfortable in exploring sex topics, be more comfortable in my body (explore it further), being more open to showing off some of my skin, not feeling ashamed in feeling sexy or wanting to, but also like made me more comfortable in drawing sex. Something I thought I’d never stop feeling ashamed or embarrassed on doing. If this ship has damaged my brain it also damaged my insecurities and conservative beliefs taught as a child that have only brought me unhappiness, shame and anxiety. I love you Lucifer and Adam 🥺❤️

[medicinemane]

Mike johnson has so god damn much blood on his hands, obviously Ukrainian blood, but also plenty of American blood

Refusing to renew something that helps vets exposed to atomic blast and Americans who were downwind of the fall out... it's just sick. I can't fucking stand mike johnson, he's one of the worst scum to ever be in congress, and that's fucking saying something

"Johnson refused to allow House members to vote on bipartisan legislation to renew and improve the program"

Fucking quivering little pimple seems to have a real MO for just wringing his hands while insisting it's not his fault, he just can't do the one fucking part of his job of putting shit up to a vote... oh boo hoo, so sad, he'll just have to unilaterally let funding expire on things instead of literally just putting it up to our elected representatives to see if they want to vote yay or nay

Single handedly make the choices but it's not his fault when they work out how they do

Murderer

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

openly weeping at the idea of someone genuinely hating soul punk.

[mad-hunts]

as far as jack could tell, jervis was really out of it; and it made him wonder it was due to something that had happened while he was out with his father, or when they'd gotten here. perhaps both. jack gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to jervis's hands, which were flexing like he was struggling with something. an eyebrow rose as jack contemplated asking whether he needed some pain medication.

since he didn't receive an answer to his question yet, jack figured he might as well introduce himself. ❝ uhh, well, you don't have to talk to me if you aren't feeling up to it. my sister told me that you fainted in front of her out there — so, i understand if you're still feeling sick. my name is jack, ❞ he scratched at the back of his neck as he continued to observe jervis. whenever the man tried to get up, jack approached him and was about to caution jervis that maybe he shouldn't by lightly touching his shoulder.

but he remembered matilda telling him something about the other really not liking to be touched, so he merely was going to verbally tell him. up until jervis laid back down himself, anyhow. jack couldn't hold himself back from frowning at his poor present state before venturing out of the room with a 'i'll be right back.' and indeed he had been, with two different vials, alongside a few syringes to inject into that IV bag: should jervis want to be medicated. jack figured it'd be easier to just do that rather than forcing him to swallow anything.

he placed those also on the table before tilting his head at the quote jervis had said until it clicked a few seconds later, ❝ that's a quote from through the looking glass, isn't it? and one that the red queen said in the story if i remember correctly. she was basically teaching alice that staying in the same place is falling behind, right? ❞ jack squinted his eyes at that before a thought came to mind. a soft snort left him, but one that was done of an innocent sort of amusement rather than malice. ❝ that is a kind of roundabout way of talking about survival of the fittest. but hey, lewis carroll was all about the whimsy of things, i guess. and its no big deal. ❞

jack pretended not to see the tears that the other shed for jervis's own sake. the blood on his lips was something he couldn't ignore, no matter how hard he tried, though. jack grabbed a washcloth from his pack and held it out towards's jervis's hand. once it was out of his hand was when jack set down that teacup, the slightly too long stripped pants he wore swaying across the ground. ❝ mm, you and dad were both asleep for nearly four hours. sure — i don't think that's silly at all. i keep something on me all the time from when my brother, julien, was still around. ❞ the bracelet he showed the other on his right wrist then seemed to be made up entirely of tiny conch shells.

julien was a big fan of the sea, which jack thought made his death all the more crushing. after seeing the state that the stuffed animal was in, he figured that that bunny must've been really loved; though it didn't really matter by whom it was. the end result was the same, as love changes you. jack knew this well as he'd never wanted anything more than to be embraced by the warmth of it.

he quickly shook that thought off, only to grab the two vials he got from the fridge once more. ❝ eh... the four hours actually went by rather fast. ❞ jack cleared his throat then, ❝ you know, i couldn't help but notice that you aren't looking so hot still, and so i grabbed some meds for you. but i won't force you to take them. i have a pain reliever as well as something that relieves vertigo. are either, or both of these, something you want? ❞

Eigengrau.

A faint hum buzzed in his ears; his mouth was so dry it felt like he’d swallowed a wad of wool.

The thin sheet beneath him brushed his fingertips as Jervis flexed his hands, cracking his eyes open a sliver. The room tilted, everything blurring at the edges. Ah… so he had fainted. Just as he’d suspected. No glasses, then.

"Hey. Ahh, you're awake… That's awesome. How are you feeling?"

The new voice was barely a whisper, young and uncertain—belonging to a boy, maybe sixteen or eighteen by the timber. Was this another of Barton's assistants, a friend of Matilda’s, or perhaps her brother? Jervis couldn’t quite remember; hadn't Barton mentioned something about having more than one child?

He winced, his body feeling heavy, leaden; aching everywhere. Slowly, he exhaled and tried to push himself upright—tried being the keyword. The effort brought only a wave of vertigo, dizzying and blue-hot, making his vision swim.

… ohh, god…

He swallowed thickly, curling into himself. Something wasn’t right. His glasses and gloves weren’t the only thing missing. He was in his socks, jeans, and a now damp charcoal t-shirt, his body slick with cold sweat. His graying auburn curls clung to his neck in tangled ropes. His boots were beside the cot, his messenger bag on a desk across the room. His overcoat and maroon button-down were draped over a chair.

A flicker of discomfort in his right arm. Burning. Tugging.

Jervis glanced down at the source: a plastic tube. A peripheral IV catheter.

"Ah, you know... 'It takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place,'" he muttered, his voice clipped and hollow; Bermudian accent casual, almost detached. He turned his eyes to the boy; offered him a faint, strained smile. "Keeps things interesting, I suppose... but I appreciate your concern, lad."

He lifted his fingers to his cheek, feeling the moisture trickle down—salt on his lips. Tears, sharp and stinging. Jervis flinched and quickly scrubbed them away with the heels of his hands.

Cold metal pressed into his spine, tight around his neck—the chain with his and Sylvie’s wedding rings twisted against his skin. He must’ve been thrashing in his sleep. There was blood on his lips.

"Forgive me…" His vision swam as he watched the boy set a teacup on the small table beside the cot, just within view. "But I'm afraid I've rather lost my sense of time. How long has it been since I…?" He paused, his voice barely steady. "... if... if you don’t mind, could you please reach into my coat pocket? You'll find a small cuddly toy. A rabbit..." He rubbed his mouth, lowered his eyes. "It sounds foolish, I know... but it... it was my daughter's, you see..."

The boy nodded, moving quickly to retrieve the toy from Jervis’ coat pocket, and placed it on the table beside the teacup. The bunny was missing one of its button eyes, its white fur faded and matted. A pink satin ribbon around its neck was frayed and tattered.

“Thank you,” Jervis said hoarsely. “I must have been out of it for quite a while.”

[denkies]

🐈 clan-confessions  Follow

i'll never say this publicly but honestly i think tigerstar had some valid ideas about having one big clan. obviously he was super wrong with all the violence and force, but one big clan could solve a lot of issues. No more border patrol fighting, more food for everyone during leaf-bare season, no drama involving cross-clan mates, etc etc. a lot of deaths could be avoided if we all took care of one another instead of fighting all the time

🌠 fishluvr76  Follow

ok are we all going to ignore that anon is siding with a literal DICTATOR??? :/

🌸 sweet-tooth  Follow

That's not what they meant and you KNOW it. They brought up some valid points about preserving lives, and denounced Tigerstar's actions as much too violent. Starclan above, no cat can have an opinion these days...

🌒 singlequeen7  Follow

Honestly I don't know how I feel about this... each Clan is beautifully unique and has their own traditions, which would fade away if Clans were desolved altogether. But OP makes a valid point about less violence and food scarcity. I hate the idea of sending my kits off to become Warriors, only for them to die during a stupid argument about Sunningrocks. A pile of rocks is NEVER worth a cat's life, whether they are in your Clan or not. And we have lost lives like that before.

🍄 medicinepawz  Follow

I agree! Traditions are important, but every medicine cat knows that working together saves lives. Sharing herbs can stop the spread of greencough, and sharing prey stops kits from crying from hunger. We really need a better system, because I can't cry myself to sleep another night, blaming myself for not having enough cobwebs to stop a kit from bleeding out in front of me.

🐅 lonelywarrior5346-deactivated

leave it to a woman and a medicine cat to emotionally manipulate proud warriors into giving up our PURECLAN bloodlines and Clan patriotism lolol

🍄 medicinepawz   Follow

HELLO?????

🐛 bug-enjoyer  Follow

> complains about "emotional manipulation" (it wasn't?)

> proceeds to be misogynystic AND racist in the same sentence???

> we get it babygirl, you want to fuck Tigerstar. weird ass mf.

🐈‍⬛ moondrops  Follow

"Lonelywarrior5346" is Flintstep from Riverclan btw

🌸 sweet-tooth  Follow

LMFAOOOOWAGWHQAKDHOA

🫐 berrycloud  Follow

GET HIS ASS

🌌 dorkstar  Follow

nah bc which one of you killed this dude yesterday lmfao 😭💀

🌸 sweet-tooth  follow

NO ARE YOU FR

🐛 bug-enjoyer  Follow

@ dorkstar say sike right now 😭😭

🌌 dorkstar  Follow

border patrol found him dead in a ravine 😭 yall play too much

🫐 berrycloud  Follow

when i said get his ass i did not mean like this

[hanniebaeee]

Mr. CEO

Chris Bang x fem!reader

Warnings: Extremely adorable Hyunjin - other than that, nothing.

Genre: colleagues to lovers, flufff

Summary: Chris Bang shouldn't be feeling anything for you - you're only an employee in his company. But a very pretty and extremely brilliant one. And Chris is head over heels in love with you. And then there is Hyunjin - your best friend.

Chris didn’t know when it started, exactly. He's seen you during meetings and things a lot, especially since his new office was on your floor and he had a nice clear view of your seat.

He knew you were smart and really good at your job. He didn't really dwell on a pretty face, that's not him. Until one day, he saw you laugh. 

It wasn’t just a polite chuckle or a giggle. No, this was you - head thrown back, cheeks flushed, and laughter bubbling out like you in the purest form. You were leaning against Hyunjin, as usual, your hand casually resting on his thigh while his head bumped against yours as he laughed with you.

Chris froze.

He felt a sudden tightness in his chest - you were breathtakingly beautiful. How did he not see that before? But along with that crept up something else - an inexplicable irritation at seeing how comfortable you were with Hyunjin.

He didn’t have anything against Hyunjin. The guy was a genius, even if he was a little too loud and touchy for Chris’s taste. But the way you leaned into him? The way Hyunjin’s smile was just for you? It screamed couple. 

Chris tried to tell himself it didn’t matter. You were off-limits. Clearly taken. Clearly happy. 

But none of that helped him stop his train of thoughts about how good you looked when you're concentrating on something. Head tilted, exposing the delicate line of your neck. Or the way you gave him a small smile or a nod when you passed him in the hallway. 

It was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. But the more he tried to shove his thoughts aside, the more they clung to him like a curse.

“Get a grip,” he muttered to himself. “She’s with Hyunjin. You’re her boss. She’s off-limits.”

The worst part? You were completely so lost in Hyunjin, you didn't have a chance to notice your boss's slow agonizing downfall. Imagine walking into the lobby and seeing Hyunjin tying your damn scarf for you one evening because “it’s cold, you dummy.”

Chris wanted to punch a wall. Or Hyunjin. Or himself, even.

So, it's only natural that when he overheard two girls talking about you and Hyunjin, he stopped short.

“I just don’t get it,” one of them was whispering.  “How are they not dating?”

Chris froze, his hand hovering over the coffee pot.

“I know, right?” another voice said. “I’d bet money they’re secretly together.”

“I mean, come on. It’s so obvious.”

“I dunno, Hyunjin says they’re just best friends. And yet he turned me down.”

Chris blinked. So you weren't dating?

His heart did something stupid - like a backflip or maybe a somersault - and for the first time in months, he allowed himself to hope.

So the next thing he did was procrastinate. For weeks - just dying on the inside a little bit every time you did something that made Hyunjin drape himself over you. But then, enough was enough and he decided it was time to get to the bottom of this. 

Chris didn’t breathe a word all day. Not while he watched you work. Not when you bickered with Hyunjin over lunch about that questionable mush he was eating (it was disgusting, in his opinion, but he wasn’t about to wade into that battle). And not when you breezed past him later that day, looking miffed, muttering a quick hello on your way.

By the time five o’clock rolled around, Chris had convinced himself he was going to die if he didn’t say something.

He caught you in the hallway, calling your name. You paused, bag slung over your shoulder.

“Yeah, boss?”

Chris winced. That title was a cruel reminder of how completely out of his league you should be. But there was little respect in the way you said it. He knew you were teasing him.

But he’d come this far.

“I-” He cleared his throat. God, why was this so hard? He made multi-million-dollar deals without breaking a sweat.

This? This was excruciating.

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head like you were about to tease him again. He racked his brain for a good enough line to throw your way. How do you ask girls out? Has he never done this before? Oh sorry, no. He was busy becoming a CEO. 

“I like you.” There. He said it.

You blinked. Once. Twice. Then your lips parted as if you were about to say something, but nothing came out.

“I mean, I more than like you. I-” He ran a hand through his hair, looking absolutely terrified. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this for months, and I know I’m your boss, and this is probably wildly inappropriate. Oh my God, is this workplace harassment? I don't mean to…but I can’t-”

He was freaking out.

“Chris.”

Your voice was soft, but it stopped his rant instantly.

You took a step closer, a small smile appearing on your face now.

“Are you trying to tell me you’re in love with me?” you asked, and Chris faltered.

He exhaled sharply, like the word itself had taken the wind out of him. “Yeah.”

You just stared at him, and for a horrifying moment, he thought he’d completely misread everything. Maybe he’d just ruined everything. You were going to report him. His mum was going to kill him. 

“Pick me up at seven on Friday.”

Chris blinked. “What?”

“For our date,” you said, your grin widening. “I'll text you my address.”

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

“Yeah.. Wha-” He was dying. 

You laughed, and said, “You heard me, boss. Don’t be late.”

And with that, you walked out, leaving Chris standing there like an idiot, his heart pounding in his chest and his cheeks burning. He walked back to his office like a zombie, and sat down in his chair, staring blankly at his desk.

He had a date with you. You liked him back.

“Holy shit,” he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair.

As soon as you stepped out of the office, your heart still hammering from Chris’s confession, you quickly called Hyunjin, your hands shaking uncontrollably. He picked up on the first ring.

“Why do I feel like you’re about to emotionally dump all over me?” His voice had immediate calming effects on you. 

“Get your skinny ass outside,” you hissed into the phone. “Right now.”

Two minutes later, Hyunjin was striding out of the building, his tie loosened. 

“Are you ok-”

“He asked me out.”

Hyunjin stopped mid-step, blinking. “What, who?”

“Christopher Bang!” you burst out, your hands flailing. “He just - he said he likes me, and and and-”

Hyunjin’s mouth dropped open and you grip at his warm hands with your icy ones.

“Are you kidding me?” he howled, his eyes flashing with excitement. “I knew it! I told you he had the hots for you! I told you! And you were all, ‘No, Hyunjin, he’s just my boss. He doesn’t like me like that.’”

You narrow your eyes at the way he was imitating you and smack his shoulder.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” He grinned, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Now tell me everything. Was it romantic? Did he stutter? Please tell me he stuttered.”

“Hyunjin!”

---

Chris arrived to pick you up for your date at 7:00 PM, sharp. He looked devastatingly handsome in a tailored black suit, his perfectly styled hair gleaming under the soft light of the porch. And he held out a massive bouquet of the deepest red roses you’d ever seen.

“Hey,” he said, his voice soft but so deep, that it had your heart fluttering.

“Hi,” you breathed, trying to ignore the way your stomach was doing all kinds of flips.

He held the bouquet towards you, his cheeks tinged with the faintest pink.

“Thank you, Chris” You said, taking them and inhaling the sweet scent.

His lips quirked into a tiny smirk, the kind that made you want to kiss it right off his face. He stepped inside and watched as you put the flowers in a vase real quick, before turning to him and saying, “Let’s go, Mr. CEO.”

And just as you thought, it was truly unforgettable. Chris was the perfect gentleman - engaging, funny, and so incredibly attentive that it was hard to believe this was the same man who struck fear into the hearts of board members. And every time you caught him staring at you with those soft, adoring eyes, you felt your heart race.

And the best part? Watching this big, muscled man melt into a puddle every time you smiled at him.

By the time he pulled up in front of your apartment, and walked you to your door, you know the poor man is doing his best to behave.

“Well,” he said, his voice a little husky, “I had a great time tonight.”

“Me too,” you replied, your cheeks warming under his gaze.

There was a beat of silence, and you could see his fingers twitching at his sides, his lips parting like he was about to say something, but then he didn’t.

“Chris?” you said finally.

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to do everything myself?”

His eyes widened, freezing for a moment before he surged forward, his hands cupping your face as his lips claimed yours. And oh, it was worth the wait.

Chris kissed you like a man starved. Like he’d been holding back for so long. His lips were so warm and firm but gentle, his hands sliding down to your waist to pull you closer.

When you finally pulled away, he gazed at you with so much love. And then you're both giggling breathlessly.

---

After Chris left, you barely had time to change your clothes before your doorbell rang. For a second you thought it's him again, but you opened the door to find Hyunjin standing there, a tub of ice cream in one hand.

He pushed past you into your warm living room, saying, “Don’t mind me, I’m just here for the juicy details.”

“Jinnie!” You watched him wander into your kitchen, and come back with two spoons. 

“What?” He plopped onto your couch, already digging in. “Spill. I need to know everything”

You groaned, but still took the spoon from him and sat next to him.

“So?”

You sighed, a smile tugging at your lips as you said, “It was perfect.”

Hyunjin gasped dramatically, clutching his chest.

“Oh my God!” he wailed. “My bestie and the CEO!”

“Shut up!” You laughed, trying to shove him off the couch, but he just tackled you into a hug.

“I’m so happy for you,” he said, his voice softer now. “Really.”

You couldn’t help but smile, because you're really happy, and you hug him tightly.

Being in a relationship with the CEO was one thing. But maintaining professionalism, and a strict distance sometimes got so hard. Especially when he was thirsty as hell. 

You were doing quite well actually. But unfortunately for you, the biggest threat to your secret wasn’t the HR or prying coworkers or even Chris's lack of self control. It was your best friend and ultimate menace, Hyunjin.

He enjoyed tormenting Chris. He basically lived for it. It started out of nowhere with Hyunjin strolling into work one morning, a coffee mug in one hand and a mischievous grin on his ridiculously pretty face. He dropped into his seat and said, “You look guilty. Did you do something naughty with Mr. -?”

Your head snapped up and you glared daggers at him, hissing, “Hyunjin, for the love of God, lower your voice!”

“Relax.” He waved a hand, laughing. “Nobody cares. Well, except me, of course. Because watching your boyfriend go green with jealousy is my favorite pastime.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Shush!”

Before you could shoo this menace away, your phone buzzed on the desk. Hyunjin leaned over at the speed of light before you could hide the screen. His eyes widened as he read the notification.

Chris: What are the chances I can get out of that dress in 15 minutes? I have some time before my next meeting. And, my office is soundproof.

You choked on your coffee, fumbling with the phone to swipe the notification away. Hyunjin gagged audibly, clutching his chest.

“Oh my god. EWWW.” he cried and you slapped your hand on his mouth to shut him up. 

Chris's office door swung open, and there stood Chris, his eyes zeroing in on your hand pressed to his mouth, his jaw tightening. He is by your seat in record time, fixing you both in a glare.

“Hyunjin. Do you not have work to do?” Chris’s voice was low, a warning.

“I’m on my break. Thought I’d spend it with my bestie.” Hyunjin grinned, not even a little intimidated.

Chris crossed his arms, glaring at Hyunjin like he was contemplating ways to legally fire him.

“I could arrange for you to have a lot of free time if you’d like.” he bit out, making you snort.

“Oooo is that a threat? Because it sounded like one.” Hyunjin asked, sitting back on his chair lazily.

“Take it however you want.”

“Guys, that's enough!” you snapped, slapping Hyunjin on his knee, and he sat up straight.

Chris looked at you with a sigh and said, “A word?”

You follow him into the hallway, picking up a file just to make it look real. 

“He’s touching you a lot.” His voice was low, dangerous.

“He’s my best friend, Chris.” You said and your tone was firm enough to let him know that he can't go there. 

“I don’t care,” he growled, his eyes darkening. “If he keeps testing me, he won’t have a job.”

“You won't do that.”

Chris smirked as he said,“Wouldn’t I?”

This battle between Hyunjjn and Chris was literally the highlight of your day - you can't lie about that. You enjoyed every minute of it. But Chris' jealousy always led him to text you absolute filth. Because though he acted all calm and composed, he's not very demure when it comes to you. 

---

By noon this had escalated to a point where you were squirming in your seat, thanks to your boyfriend’s sheer audacity. 

You took a deep breath before entering Chris’s office, files in hand and a determined scowl on your face.

Having a secret relationship was hard? Well try having one with a perpetually horny man - it was even harder. You can't be yourself here, but you could definitely scold him. Quietly.

You pushed the door open, ignoring the way his gaze instantly snapped up to you. He was leaning back in his chair, all smug confidence and all that.

“Here are the files you asked for,” you said crisply, dropping them onto his desk.

“Thank you,” he said, his tone warm, his eyes raking over you shamelessly. 

“Chris.”

“Yes, darling?”

“Can you please stop texting me like that?” you asked, keeping your voice low.

He tilted his head, pretending to think about it and said, “Hmm. No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“It’s your own fault. You come here dressed like that, and then flirt with Hyunjin for 9 hours. What do you expect me to do? Sit here quietly and not think about getting you on my desk?” 

You pointed at him, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck. “You are crazy.”

“That I am.” He smirked, leaning forward with his elbows on his desk. 

You glared at him, your cheeks burning, and turned on your heel to leave. The second you sat down, your phone buzzed again.

Chris: I love you, baby.

You groaned audibly, dropping your forehead onto your desk, trying to hide the smile on your face.

By Friday, you needed a vacation. Or maybe a spiritual cleanse. 

You and Hyunjin had decided to go out for drinks - like you always did. Halfway through a round of shots with Hyunjin, your phone buzzed.

Chris: What are you up to?

Chris: Your text about going out with that menace was rather vague. 

You glanced at Hyunjin, a wicked smile spreading across your face. “Wanna annoy Chris?”

He grinned back as he said, “Always.”

You opened the camera app, and leaned back against Hyunjin, the shimmering glow of the bar lights making you both look just so sinful. Hyunjin, had one arm draped around your shoulders, smirking. You hit send, and waited.

Chris’s reply came instantly.

Chris: Of course. Of course.

You sipped your drink, biting back a smile as you typed.

You: Just out for drinks. You were too busy, remember?

Hyunjin snorted and said, “You’re gonna give him an aneurysm.”

“Good,” you said, snapping another selfie - Hyunjin had dipped his head closer, and your free hand was around him. You hit send.

It didn’t take long for the next reply.

Chris: Stop.

You: Stop what? 

Chris: Don’t play dumb.

Chris: You know exactly what you’re doing.

Chris: Get your ass home. Now.

You: No. Not until you learn that Jinnie is my best friend, and he's not your competition. So yeah. I'm not going anywhere.

Hyunjin leaned closer, as he whispered dramatically, “Oh no, Daddy Bang is mad.”

You slapped his arm, but still laughing as you said, “Jinnie, stop!”

Chris: That's enough. I'm not jealous.

You: Relax.

Chris: You know what? I’m coming.

“You're so evil! Now he's going to show up like Batman, all angry and in a suit.”

“He’s just bluffing.” you said, because how the hell does he know where you were?

Except… he wasn’t.

Around ten minutes later, the bar’s door swung open, and there he was.

Chris Bang in all his furious, suit-clad glory, looking like he’d just accidentally wandered into the wrong party.

You froze, mid-laugh. Hyunjin, however, did not.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, trying - and failing - not to laugh. “He’s actually here.”

Chris’s eyes locked onto you instantly. And he could see you both were tipsy. 

“Up. Now,” he ordered, his voice firm and unyielding.

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, clearly enjoying himself.

“Hey, Mr. Bang. Fancy seeing you here. Want a drink?” he said, batting his eyes at Chris.

Chris’s jaw tightened. “You’re coming too.”

Hyunjin blinked, clearly not expecting that. Chris didn’t bother repeating himself, but just grabbed your wrist, pulling you to your feet, then fixed Hyunjin with a glare that left no room for argument.

“Let’s go.” he said, turning and walking away.

—--

And the car ride was… tense.

Chris sat in the driver’s seat, his jaw clenched so tight. You were in the passenger seat, still buzzing from the alcohol. 

And Hyunjin? He was in the back, one hand over his mouth, his body shaking with suppressed laughter.

“This is the best Friday night ever,” he announced. “Can we do this again next week?”

“Hyunjin, shut up.” Chris said, shooting him a glare through the rearview mirror.

“Aw, come on, Mr. Bang. You know you love me.” Hyunjin snickered, leaning forward.

Chris didn’t answer, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the steering wheel.

You, meanwhile, were squirming in your seat, and not because you were nervous. Chris’s anger was doing things to you, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold it together.

“Are you mad at me, Mr. Bang?” you asked, your voice so teasing.

“Don’t start.”

“Start what?” you asked innocently, biting your lip.

Hyunjin choked on his laughter, muttering, “Oh my god.”

Once home, Chris wasted no time separating you and Hyunjin like two kids in time-out.

“You,” he said, pointing at Hyunjin. “Guest room. Down the hall, second door on the left.”

“Wait, I get to stay? You’re not throwing me out onto the street?” Hyunjin asked, surprised again. 

Chris sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and said, “Unfortunately.”

Hyunjin clasped his hands together, the drama kicking in as he said, “Mr. Bang, you’re too kind.”

“Enough,” Chris interrupted, holding up a hand, before leading him into the room and giving him some pyjamas to change into.

“And you,” he said to you, his voice low, “upstairs.”

Oh yeah, you both got the biggest (longest) lecture of your lives about drinking in shady bars and being irresponsible the next morning. That too while suffering hangovers and before breakfast. Cruel. 

---

Chris learned (a very hard lesson) that your lives were not exactly matching in any way possible. He played golf with business partners and hung out in restaurants that, like Hyunjin said, would charge for breathing in there. While you and Hyunjin, found pleasure in the simpler things in life. 

Like this 2000-piece jigsaw puzzle of Hogwarts Castle, spread out on your living room floor. Pieces in every shade of gray, black, and midnight blue mocked you and Hyunjin from every angle.

Hyunjin let out a dramatic groan, flopping back onto the carpet.

“What am I supposed to do with 92000 shades of darkness?!” he wailed. 

“Oh my God, Hyun,” you laughed, nudging him with your toe. 

“I can’t believe I’m enabling your Harry Potter obsession again.” he grumbled. “Where is your boyfriend anyway? Why do I have to suffer alone?”

You stuck your tongue out at him and said, “Oh, come on. You love it.”

“Love is a strong word,” he said, holding up two identical-looking black pieces with a glare.

Your phone buzzed and you glanced at the screen, smiling instantly.

Chris: Hey babe, what's going on?

You click a picture of the puzzle on your floor, sending it across.

You: Trying to tackle this monstrosity. Wanna come help?

Chris: Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.

Your heart squeezed. Intrude? It was so Chris to worry about things like that.

You: Babe, I want you here in 5 minutes.

---

When Chris arrived, you were so excited, you flung yourself into his arms, pulling him into a kiss that made Hyunjin groan loudly from the living room.

“Hey, some of us are single,” Hyunjin called out, clearly unimpressed. “Can you not?”

The three of you ended up on the floor, Hyunjin pushing all the dark pieces towards Chris quickly. 

“Looks…complicated,” Chris commented, eyeing the puzzle. 

“It’s hell,” Hyunjin confirmed, tossing another black piece into the pile. “But welcome to the party, boss man.”

“Alright. Where do I start?” Chris smirked, rolling up his sleeves.

The three of you settled into a rhythm, though it was more chaotic than you could've thought.

“Why does every piece look like a window?” Hyunjin muttered under his breath, while Chris’s look of concentration had you snickering. 

“You’re taking this way too seriously,” you teased, laying your head on his shoulder. 

“Of course,” he said, placing a piece with a soft click. “If I’m doing this, I’m doing it right.”

“Even his puzzles have to be CEO-level perfect.” Hyunjin snorted. 

“I’m the only one actually making any progress here.” Chris retorted. 

“Are you saying I’m bad at puzzles? I’ll have you know I’m -” Hyunjin gasped, clutching his chest.

“Terrible,” you interrupted, grinning as you handed Chris another piece. “Just terrible.”

Chris laughed as he leaned closer to you and said, “Glad I’m not the only one who sees it.”

As the hours passed, the puzzle started to take shape.

“You’re good at this,” you murmured, watching him fit another piece into place.

Chris glanced at you, his eyes soft and said, “I’m good at a lot of things.”

“Eww gross,” Hyunjin muttered, tossing a piece at Chris. “This is supposed to be wholesome. Stop making it sexy.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around Chris’s waist.

“So, Jinnie and I are planning a trip to the Christmas market outside the city on Saturday.” you said. “We do it every year, so I thought, you'd like to come this year?”

“You want me to come?” Chris asked, his eyes moving from you to Hyunjin. 

“Of course,” you said, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Don’t get too excited, boss. She probably just wants an extra set of hands to carry her bags.” Hyunjin snorted from behind you.

“Shut up,” you said, swatting him on the arm. 

Chris’s eyes flicked between you and Hyunjin before settling on you, his smile growing.

“Fine. We’ll take my car and make it a road trip.” Chris said, smiling.

Saturday Morning – 5:45 AM

The sun hadn’t even risen, and you were already bouncing with excitement as Chris pulled his sleek black SUV in front of your building. You were dressed in your coziest winter coat, gloves, and scarf, while Hyunjin stumbled out in a hoodie and looked like he'd just rolled out of bed.

“This is an ungodly hour,” Hyunjin grumbled, throwing himself into the back seat. “I hate both of you.”

Chris smirked and said, “Good morning to you too.”

“Shh,” Hyunjin muttered, curling into a ball. “Please.”

You turned in your seat to look at him, laughing. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Call me when we’re there,” he mumbled, pulling a blanket (which he brought with him) over his head.

“I take it he’s not a morning person?” Chris chuckled as he pulled onto the road.

“Oh, he’s a delight,” you said sarcastically, earning you a nudge from the back. 

---

The drive was quiet and peaceful, with Hyunjin snoozing in the back and soft Christmas music playing in the background (because you're in a festive mood). At one point, Chris’s hand drifted to rest on your thigh, his thumb rubbing circles through your leggings.

“You’re really excited about this, huh?” he asked, glancing at you.

You nodded, your cheeks warm from his touch. “It’s kind of our thing…we've never broken the tradition…since we became friends.”

“I’m glad you invited me.” Chris said softly, and you squeezed his hand and said, “You’re part of my thing now.”

His eyes softened, and he lifted your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles. “Good to know.”

---

Hyunjin woke up the second the car pulled into the parking lot.

“We’re here! Let’s go!” he shouted, practically bursting out of the car like he wasn't snoring just a minute ago.

Chris looked at you, thoroughly amused.

“I thought he hated mornings?” he said.

“Magic of Christmas,” you replied with a shrug, grabbing his hand and dragging him toward the market entrance.

The market was a whirlwind of lights, scents, and laughter. There were twinkling fairy lights strung between wooden stalls, the smell of roasted chestnuts and mulled wine in the air, and carolers singing in the background.

Chris looked mildly overwhelmed, especially when Hyunjin shoved a steaming cup of hot chocolate into his hand. “Drink up Mr. Bang. Where's all the energy huh?”

“You can call me Chris when we're out of work, Hyunjin,” Chris said, shooting him a sideways glare.

“Aw, really?” Hyunjin pressed, with a grin. “You’re our sugar daddy funding this very festive adventure, I'll call you whatever you want.”

Chris shot you a helpless look, and you burst out laughing, linking your arm through his other one.

“We love you, baby,” you said, grinning up at him. “I know this is a little out of your style-”

“That’s an understatement,” Chris muttered, but his lips gave away a little smile. 

You and Hyunjin darted between the stalls like overexcited toddlers, as the number of bags Chris was holding increased alarmingly.

As the night went on, Chris found himself both entertained and quietly overwhelmed. You and Hyunjin were a whirlwind of energy, and as Chris  watched you loop your arm through Hyunjin’s, he realized that you and Hyunjin had a connection he couldn’t touch. A bond so natural and easy, it made him wonder if he’d ever truly get there.

Chris’s thoughts were interrupted when you snuggled closer to him, because it was getting so cold. As you got ready to leave, you saw a stand selling cotton candy, and you wanted it. Chris muttered something about “all that sugar”, but went on to buy one for you anyway.

You and Hyunjin were waiting when a man (half drunk), hit on Hyunjin. Hyunjin scowled and said, “I have a boyfriend, mind you!”

Just then, Chris came walking, cotton candy in hand, which Hyunjin quickly took from him. Chris eyed the man who was staring at him open-mouthed. 

“Is there a problem?” He asked, his eyes falling on you, as you tried not to burst out laughing. 

“No, love, we're good.” Hyunjin said, rolling his eyes, before getting into the car like nothing happened. 

Chris just sighed, not even bothering to ask what that was all about. 

The drive back was quiet. You had passed out in the backseat, too exhausted after hours of walking and a tummy full of Christmas treats.

Hyunjin sat in the passenger seat beside Chris and he could see that Chris was tense. With a sigh, Hyunjin turned to face him and said, “Ok, Mr. Bang. What's going on?”

“What?” Chris's eyes flickered over to him for a second, then back to the road.

“You look like you'll explode any minute. What's the matter?” Hyunjin asked, raising his eyebrows. “And please, don't tell me it's nothing.”

Chris sighed, his watching you sleeping in the backseat through the rear view mirror, and then he said, “I…sometimes I worry about how you two have this connection, this bond that’s...so intense. You know her so well…and sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be enough for her. Because, I'm nothing like you, Hyunjin. My life has been completely different, and I worry that she'll be bored-”

Hyunjin’s lips quirked up, but there was a softness in his eyes as he glanced over at Chris.

“Oh wow. I have heard of over-thinking, but this is some next level shit,” Hyunjin laughed softly. “Dude, she's crazy about you. Yeah, we are really good with each other and all that, of course, she's my best friend. Literally my soul mate, only platonically, but yeah. But please, you have nothing to worry about. You’re with her now, and that’s all that matters.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing half the time,” Chris admitted. “But I’m trying. I love her…I've never…never before…”

“You’re doing just fine. She's really happy.” Hyunjin said with a smirk. 

Chris nodded, visibly relaxing as he said, “I’ll try to remember that. Thanks.”

---

When Chris parked his car outside your apartment building, your tired body could barely function. Your legs were sore from all the walking.

“I’m so tired,” you whined. “My legs are killing me, Chris. Can you -”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Chris came over and scooped you up into his arms, without a second thought, and you smiled against his neck as you held on.

“I got you,” he murmured as he carried you all the way inside, your head resting against his chest, your eyelids fluttering closed.

When he finally reached your bedroom, he gently placed you in your bed, quickly getting rid of your shoes, coat, mittens and scarf. His hands brushed over your hair as he tucked the covers around you, his gaze soft and almost tender.

“Good night,” he whispered, his lips landing a gentle kiss on your cheek, and his hand lingering at your side for a moment before he turned to leave.

But you caught his wrist, pulling him back.

“Stay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

“Please, just... stay with me.”

He didn’t say anything, just took off his coat and shoes, and slid into the bed beside you, holding you close. The silence enveloped you both, and you drifted off into a deep sleep.

---

Hyunjin, of course, wandered into your apartment the next morning with coffee and breakfast, and walked straight into this scene - Chris still next to you, his arm draped over you protectively, and you, snuggled into him. He just grinned mischievously and snapped a photo for the memories.

“I see you took my advice, good choice,” Hyunjin said, looking at Chris, who was already wide awake and glaring at him.

“You're an idiot,” Chris muttered, but there was a softness in his eyes.

Hyunjin just chuckled, holding up his coffee. 

“Come get your coffee, Daddy Bang,” He said, laughing as Chris threw a pillow his way.

“Hyunjin, shut up!” You yelled, pulling Chris closer. “And you, come here,”

Chris grinned as he let you pull him closer (if that was even possible). This was perfect.

Hyunjin was right.

Tags : @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght

[retiredteabag]

Wishful Thinking

arranged marriage with Nanami… a continuation

pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3 - next part

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

You would have never imagined, but as it turns out, you’ve only known your spouse 48 hours and you’ve already begun to love married life.

In this time, lots has occurred, for one, you had to explain to your husband repeatedly that you really, truly, genuinely, had absolutely no opinion on where to spend the honeymoon.

He didn’t take too fondly to that…

--

"Please-" You had insisted, "Wherever you'd like! Whatever you choose, I'll be very happy with."

He had sighed, running a hand down his face, "I would much prefer to hear where you enjoy traveling."

You had confessed that you never really had the chance to leave the estate or school. Only on rare occasions were you presented the opportunity to venture outside, even when working as a sorcerer. You hadn’t even been on a school trips.

"Mountains or beaches?" He asked, the two of you were seated on the shared couch, his morning coffee in hand.

"I don't mind. I would love to see either."

He seemed to blink for a second too long, breathing in, he offered, "Do you have an interest in cities? Or do you prefer the countryside?"

You just smiled, "I promise you, I don't have an opinion either way, whatever you like."

"Alright... Do you care to fly, or would you like a cruise?"

The idea stressed you out a bit. Shrugging, before you answer, he grumbles your name, "What do you enjoy? Shopping? Hiking? Sightseeing?" He doesn't give you time to respond, "Eating? What cuisine do you like, by the way? That might help you decide."

You hold up a wobbly hand, "Woah...um can I be honest?"

Your husband sits up straight. Just a day before, you would have never even considered speaking so casually, but, just as you anticipated, he reasures you quickly, "Please do."

"Well... the things is, I would really just prefer you to choose..."

Nothing would feel worse than if said anything he didn’t like. You can tell your husband is a cooperative guy, he would likely just go with whatever you offered. The problem is that you want him to be happy. And frankly, you're not really sure what you like. Making a decision would be too much right now. You hardly know the things you enjoy yourself.

--

That same day, Nanami had requested you view him as a friend, any mention of your "wifely duties" and he would grimace. Eventually, through your easy back and forth, you were able to persuade him into telling you what part he played in this union the two of you shared.

"I... well, I'll speak freely as you have done... I took very little pleasure in Jujutsu society for some time." He huffed.

You had known this much, but as he continued, your dread mounted even more.

"The higher ups were not so fond of this idea-"

"But-" You interrupted, "Oh, I'm sorry, but, you're not from a clan, how could they have any sway in your decision?"

He just grinned, "You must not know, in your position, but the higher-ups have lots of sway in any sorcerers life, despite my...birth status."

"I had no idea..."

This, at least, was news to you. "They believed that an arranged marriage would keep you in the world of sorcery?"

He looked at you strangely then, "Yes, they were sure of that much. That is, marriage to a fellow sorcerer, and," He paused momentarily and cleared his throat, tugging at his collar, "The prospect of a child." He finished.

Oh.

There was an awkward silence between you two. Neither making eye contact.

Too uncomfortable…

Mmm, we have a nice coffee table...

Should you say something...?

You grin slowly, "We’re more similar than I thought."

He looks up at you and suddenly you are cold in the heat of his gaze. He hums low in his throat, "I'm very glad you think so."

--

After much prattling, and assurance on your end that you REALLY did not want to pick the location of your honeymoon, Nanami made a slight offering of an opinion. That being an “adventure train”.

"Oh! That sounds lovely!" You immediately respond. Just grateful he finally said something he could look forward to.

You had no idea what an “adventure train” entailed.

He squinted accusatorily, "Oh, please, I know you're just saying that."

"No, I'm not" you pout, "I love trains...on summer and winter breaks I would ride the train from Tokyo home..."

Chuckling he smirks, "Yes, well, this would be a little different from those trains” he calls your name, “honestly, I would like to hear about you." He settles comfortably into the sofa.

Suddenly confused by this, you start, “Oh... what would you like to know?"

"About you." Hes so matter of fact, "I want to know about the real you. Not....this person you are right now."

You straighten your spine, "What-" you scoff, "What are you talking about?"

He just laughs, it's deep and his chest shutters a bit, "I'm talking about how you just live by what other people want. You haven't told me a single thing that you enjoy since we've been together, which I must admit hasn't been very long-"

"Exactly!” You point at him. Almost stick your tongue out, then think better of it.

"Which hasn't been very long-" he restates, "But really, just last night you couldn't even tell me the kind of food you wanted-"

"Because I really didn't mind! I would have loved anything!"

"Precisely. I want to know-" He leans in close and you almost gasp at the suddenness of it, "What you like." He twists a hair out of your face and grins, "If I asked, I doubt you could answer me your favorite color."

"Well...I-"

He tilts his head and suddenly you feel accused. "You like them all, don't you?"

"There's nothing wrong with that." You smirk.

"No." He finally gives you room, leaning back and examining you now. “No, not at all. But I doubt you have anything you could name me that you would like right now, like for me to do, or say, like to be given, like to-" "I'd like-" You start, "For you to stop with all this nonsense."

"Very good...that's a start, I'm sure you would like that- you little people pleaser."

"I don't think there is anything...wrong with trying to make people happy." You stare firmly. You mean it.

It's strange, just a moment ago, you felt uncomfortable making eye contact, but now, your gazes rival one another.

"Just so long as you're not... making yourself into whatever you think someone wants to see. Just so long as you are being yourself." He hums.

Okay, this wasn't fun anymore.

You lose the fight, looking at your hands instead of those striking eyes. If you were being honest with yourself, you don't even know those things that he spoke of. What you like, what you think, who you really are. Is it so wrong to just try to be... what everyone else wants?

"I'm not lying though..." You look up once more, "I really would rather you just pick what we eat and where we go..."

"I believe you." He's not smiling now, "Really, I do. But what I would like is to learn of what you want."

There's a small flare inside of you that burns iron hot with his pushing this point, you extinguish it, finally saying, "I don't know what I want. I think I just…want what you want." You roll your eyes, shrugging our more. You know he must find you ridiculous.

Nanami purses his lips, the hand that was previously on your hair, is now on your chin. He looks so serious, yet somehow, kind.

"I'll teach you."

Your heart thumps.

It won't work, you think.

What you don't know, is that Nanami Kento is the most persistent and dedicated man to walk the earth and he, unlike you, does not so easily give up.

--

The next morning, while you riffle through the luggage you have packed for your multi-destinational luxury excursion, you recall that moment on the couch when he brushed his hand across your jaw.

He had been so soft. How could a sorcerer, one of his caliber even, have such a gentle hand?

You shudder.

Shaking your head, you zip up your suitcase, run a hand across your goose-bumped arm, and try to focus your energy on things other than your husbands hands, or his laugh, or his voice-

You shut your door to your room a little too harshly.

A form in the kitchen startles at the noise and quickly shuffles to the hallway,

The energy you had so determinedly focused on less appealing thoughts fades to nothing as Nanami makes his way toward you, a mug in hand.

His hair looks tousled in an annoyingly handsome way, he’s dressed casually, but it looks undeniably attractive, his shirt is loose everywhere and when he moves, it outlines his waist.

His waist? God. Get yourself together.

"Are you alright?" Nanami calls your name. His brows are taught and he’s bend towards you slightly.

"What? Yes, yes I'm quite well. I-I've just finished packing, see?" You pull your over-large suitcase in front of you.

"Oh..." He smiles, "Well done. Well, would you?

Huh? “…Would I what?"

"...Like honey…” he lifts the cup he hold in a large hand, “in your tea?"

My tea?

Oh god, you hope he hadn't already asked you that. (He definitely had.)

"Oh! Uhh is there already some in there?" You point to the steaming cup in his hand.

He grins, and it looks unbelievably feline in nature. "No, first you tell me if you like honey in your tea."

You scoff. He was still on about this. "I drink it both ways.” You raise your nose up at him.

He comes in close, suddenly appearing much taller than you remember, "Yes. I know you do. But how do you like it."

You reach for the mug but he doesn't let go, allowing you to grip his hand. "This is just perfect." You grunt, trying to pull the mug from his grasp. It doesn’t budge.

"So you don't mind that I sweetened it?" He looks at you, blond locks flopping into his face.

You grin, "Perfect." Your shoulders roll back, recalling how much you adored when a maid would add sugar to the tea pots back home. "I adore honey."

"Oh, good." He only then tugs his hand from yours, waltzing into the kitchen.

You follow behind in a very “lost pet” sort of fashion. It's only when he pulls a jar of honey from the cabinet and begins to spoon some of the golden nectar out that you realize he has played you.

You gasp. "Auh! You lied!"

He just grins. But you continue, "I like it both ways, really.” You cover your face, “really, a-and you don't have to make this for me, you know, I can do it myself."

He finishes stirring it and holds the mug out, handle facing you. He's leaned on the kitchen counters. He must feel very accomplished now, with that smug look covering his face.

"Don't worry, I'm well aware. Can't I do even this for you?" He gives you a funny smile. "I figured you liked sweets. You seemed to enjoy dessert the other night."

"You are a strangely observant creature Mr. Nanami Kento." You huff, taking the tea outstretched to you and sip.

It's delicious.

He hums, grinning, but you don’t see, "Is that right?"

You look up again and realize he's been watching you drink.

"Yes, you are."

He just chuckles, leaning further back on the counters.

"I was asking about the tea, honey."

He just laughs, leaving the kitchen. You take a deep breath, eyes closed and try to compose yourself. Somewhat peeved because, yes, the tea really was just right.

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

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