#i hardly know human anatomy
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slightlysaneee · 1 year ago
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Where is my 360° of a naked turian model ಠ╭╮ಠ
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zephyrchama · 2 months ago
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Tail Bone (Obey Me! brothers and MC)
"My tail bone hurts," you complained. You never expected demons to be well-mannered beings, able to behave themselves in a silent classroom for hours on end. Nor that sitting for so long could be so painful. You let out an exasperated sigh and began to tenderly massage your lower back as soon as the lecture on nocturnal beasts was over.
"Your what?" Leviathan had been booting up a mobile game behind you, eager to claim his daily bonus. While the loading screen played out, he looked up at you in confusion.
Standing to stretch, you nodded towards the hand swirling around your waistband. "Right here, my tail bone. I'm gonna ask Diavolo if he can get softer chairs for the classrooms. You're not in any pain?"
In front of you, Beelzebub nodded. "My stomach hurts. I'm so hungry, I can hardly think straight." He began rooting around in his bag for an emergency candy bar or five.
Mammon interjected from the side, stating "you don't have a tail," with a look of bewilderment. He was staring intensely at your rear and questioning everything he's ever known about you.
"We'd know if you did," Satan added.
"It's not an actual tail. Just... the name of the bone." Your attempt at an explanation wasn't very informative, but you didn't know how else to describe it. Your brain was fried from a long, boring lecture. You were more focused on getting the circulation in your legs working again than on explaning proper human anatomy.
Asmodeus had crept over, clearly noticed by everyone except you, and put his hands over the afflicted area. "Right about here?" he asked, voice coated in faux innocence.
You jumped forward a step in surprise, arching your back away from the sudden touch. Mammon and Leviathan, mobile game now forgotten, pounced on their younger brother. They pulled him away by the shoulders and forced his arms behind his back.
"Ahaha! Did I guess right?"
"That is a serious violation of PDA!" Leviathan half-shouted.
"Yeah, only I'm allowed to touch 'em like that! You all know I'm s'posed to be in charge of the human." Mammon thrust himself in front of Asmodeus, who was busy laughing in Leviathan's face. He opened and closed his hands in a disturbing manner, like a pervert. "Here, let me see this tail for myself."
"I don't think it's an actual tail," Satan surmised at the same time you exclaimed, "I don't have a tail!"
"Settle down," Lucifer cautioned. He approached from the front of the class with an armful of teaching materials, having been the one to lecture everybody all day. In a way, it was his fault you were in pain.
"Would somebody care to explain why you're all being so rowdy?"
"They hurt their new tail," Belphegor tried to explain in a low, drowsy voice. Having been half asleep, he only caught half of the conversation and let his imagination fill in the rest. He tried to lift his head, but the lecture had been too powerful. He rambled, "It's cool. I'm glad you have a tail now," and went right back to snoozing.
Lucifer wasn't entirely convinced of this explanation. He raised an eyebrow at you, and you recapped, "sitting for so long was kind of painful. I hurt my tail bone."
Beelzebub, with a smidge of chocolate on the corner of his face, turned around to ask the question surfacing on everyone's mind. "Do you have wing bones too? Like we do."
Though not in demon form, you could perfectly picture Beelzebub buzzing his wings while he asked. The answer was a simple "no." Followed by a moment of thinking and a hastily added, "I don't think so."
Mammon tisked. "That's unfair, don't ya think? You oughta have wing bones to match us."
Asmodeus "mhmm"-ed in agreement while Lucifer rolled his eyes.
"It's unfair that I don't have wing bones...?" You struggled to follow his logic.
"It's incredibly fair," Leviathan piped up. "Everyone knows tails are better."
"You wanna say that again to my face?" Mammon spat.
"More of you have wings, so it's more balanced to have another tail-user in the house." Satan believed this was a perfectly rational argument despite you not actually having a tail.
"But imagine how cute they'd look with little flapping wings!" Asmodeus cooed, flapping his hands to match.
"A little tail is even cuter! It can be hidden, like an Easter egg," Leviathan asserted.
The classroom became noisy once again with their bickering. Lucifer motioned for you to step aside, and you did your best to duck out from the growing argument with your head kept low. Your legs still felt stiff. Walking around the desk without bumping anything was a newfound challenge.
So Lucifer reached out a gentlemanly hand to guide you. "I need you to come with me to the Student Council Room." Though stated like a command, it sounded more like a request.
"Am I needed for a meeting?" you asked, reluctant to spend more time at school. The big soft couch at home was calling you.
He started ushering you towards the door and checked to ensure his brothers did not follow. "No. I'd like to educate myself on this tail bone you have, and perhaps even take a look at it."
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xazse · 3 months ago
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OK OK SO i was thinking, if you do another part to the satosugu merman au, that you could add omegaverse elements to it! and if you don’t want to do the merman au, then you could write something for regular satosugu (or just suguru 🤭) i’m NAWT picky, i just want my men to have more a/b/o fics 😣
Warnings: A/b/o dynamics + first time writing something like this so tips are appreciated!! + cumming inside + mentions of pregnancy + merman!SatoSugu + hybrid!men x human!reader + weird anatomy
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Satoru and Suguru have been acting weird, they’ve brought you little treasures from where they emerge before but now it’s an everyday thing, they’re constantly in your face asking if you like it and if you’ll put it in your nest? The hell is a nest? When you’d first ask they laughed and then all of a sudden got serious, did you honestly not know what that is?
“Different species remember guys?” You couldn’t count how many times they’ve been forgetting that you’re a human and not like them.
“Oh”
“Yeah”
You don’t mind the gifts, they always are extremely beautiful you make sure to give your thanks and each of them a little kiss on the cheek.
A few days have passed and things haven’t improved, there’s was even a moment where Suguru had snapped at you for giving Satoru an extra kiss, but Satoru was the one who insisted on it. If Suguru had asked you would have gladly given him one. When he had seen your hurt expression he profusely apologized and ushered to give you a hug.
You had brought up some more weird instances to them, but they couldn’t quite explain why they’d been acting like this. All they could describe it was a sense of needing you and needing to be near you at all times. You sometimes even slept at the beach to appease to their worries.
It was another one of those nights where the atmosphere was thick and you could already tell just by the men’s body language that they needed something.
They won’t outright say it though, they prefer when you initiate it.
You’re all relaxing on the beach halfway in the water, you’re just rambling on about your day and whatnot whilst Suguru and Satoru are struggling to not fuck you already. They hate how you can’t smell how needy they are. They hate how they can smell you and your delicious juices in between your thighs.
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It’s been many weeks since you’ve all last had sex, they could only touch their sodden slits and cocks only so much until their heats had hit and they hit like a damn truck.
They had a little bit of control not to show their bad behavior around you.
Suguru is tired though, he starts pressing little kisses to the column of your neck, which in turn has Satoru touching and groping your boobs.
Those little kisses turn into deep full on hickeys, Suguru is suckling on your neck completely lost. He grabs your hands and leads them to his slit, you’re so taken aback just how wet the inside is. His cute cock is slowly coaxing itself out of its sheath, fully being exposed to the cool air and dripping precum.
Both of their breathing has picked up as they get needier and needier by the second.
Satoru tears your shirt off, ripping it down the middle, you’re about to scold him but his mouth is latching onto your nipple and sucking hardly, he’s sucking like an uncontrolled newborn infant. You know your nipples are gonna be in a ton of pain tomorrow, but you’ll let him have it right now.
They look content right now, but are getting rougher, tough hands roaming all over your body. Is this what their heat was? You could hardly recognize the sweet men who made sure to always make sure you were okay.
Suguru pulls your shorts along with your panties off your body, pleading with you to sit on his cock, ride him till he cums he begs and begs. Glancing down at Satoru you see he’s jerking his cock off, it looks like he’s literally already came on himself but won’t stop pumping his cock.
You oblige and offer to take Suguru first, maneuvering yourself you hover over his cock, he’s so fucking excited and ready, he can’t wait to be the first to pump you full of his cum.
You slowly sink yourself down on his fat length, his pretty long black hair is sticking to his face as he leans back and watches your pussy get filled with him, it’s lewd how your hole stretches to accommodate him.
“Nhgnn..” he sounds cute, a little girlish almost. When you bottom out, Suguru is drooling and becoming incoherent, this has never happened, hes not even moving signaling you to bring him to completion.
You bounce your pretty ass lightly and softly at first, grinding down on him slightly, it feels good, his cock is hot and feels snug against your walls.
Something fills you up not even thirty seconds in, you can hear the poor merman apologizing profusely, he didn’t mean to cum that quickly but he really can’t help it!
His cum feels thick and a bit more heavier inside you, you pay no mind to this. It has been a while he was backed up probably.
Satoru is still playing with his pretty cock as he watches you get Suguru off, he thinks he’s about to have his turn something startles you when you feel something swell inside of you, it hurts but there’s a slight pleasure underneath it.
They look so dewy and happy, dopy grins decorating their face at how you took Suguru’s knot and as soon as it swells down you’ll take Satoru’s.
Your cunt feels full and once again so damn good, you reach down and rub your nub, the sensations make you moan and twitch like a damn virgin.
When Suguru’s knot eventually does go down it’s Satoru’s turn, he wastes absolutely no time in fucking his cock into your already dripping pussy. He goes on and on about how pretty you’ll look with their babies and how they’ll take such good care of you. You aren’t fully understanding what they’re saying, not when you’re on the verge of passing out
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shwaesar · 3 months ago
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Halfway
Caesar X Reader Oneshot (SFW)
Summary: Apes grow and age a lot faster than humans. Caesar had noticed it on more than one occasion; his adoptive father had hardly changed at all while he lived through his adolescent years, and his father had seemed to have always been an elderly man. Now that he has another human taking such a special role in his life, he feels the need to educate himself on the subject.
TW: Mentions of Death and Age Differences (THIS IS A LOT MORE ANGSTY THAT ORIGINALLY PLANNED IM SORRY IT JUST KINDA HAPPENED)
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"We are... similar. In age." Caesar spoke meditatively, watching from his seat in your shared nest as you disrobed for the night. You never stripped fully, not if you could help it. Even with the chimp's warm, fur covered body beside you, your skin was much too sensitive to be left bare to the elements while sleeping, especially when summer still had yet to settle over the woods in its entirety. Your outer layers were removed one by one and placed in a pile, on a makeshift table of stone. A thick jacket. A sweater. Your jeans, too, were set aside in favour of changing into some sweatpants. They were much too big for you, and a makeshift belt of twine synched the waistband to keep them from falling down your legs, but he could tell you treasured the item of clothing for its comfortability and didn't feel the need to interrogate you about it. "But you... call me old. Why?"
The question wasn't asked in an accusatory manner, but it still took you off guard. Glancing over your shoulder, you caught his eyes raking up and down your form, taking in the intricacies of your anatomy. Compared to that of apes, yours was certainly odd. Longer legs, shorter arms, more space between your hip bones and ribcage.. It had always fascinated him - the ways you were different, both physically and internally - and you supposed that was the reason behind this topic of discussion. He'd taken note of how you aged in a way that didn't mirror him, and wanted to understand it.
"Because you are old." You replied teasingly at first, earning a huff of amusement that tugged at the corners of his lips.
"You know.. what I mean. If I am old, are you not... also old?"
A hand was extended towards you beckoningly when you finally approached. Kicking off your boots, they were left at the foot of the nest as you clambered into it and situated yourself next to your mate, in the juncture beneath his shoulder. His muzzle was pressed absentmindedly into your hair, allowing him to inhale your scent as you mulled over your next words.
"Well... to apes I probably am, sure." Conceding, at least partially, your fingers rose to thread into his beard. Like most of his fur, the outer layer was coarse and rough, but got softer the closer it was to his leathery skin. When you first met, it was a dark, earthy brown that turned to a muted blonde in the right lighting. Now though, discoloured streaks had began showing up here and there, making his more advanced aging all the more apparent. "But you won't catch me going grey anytime soon. Im still pretty young in human years."
"Human years.." he repeated the phrase skeptically, prompting you to wave your free hand to dismiss it.
"Figure of speech-my point is... even though we're around the same age, we're at opposite ends of our lives, y'know? Humans-we live a long time, so we grow up slowly. Cornelius is just over two years old, but a human baby would still be learning how to walk at that point." You couldn't remember for sure if that was accurate, but it sounded right. It had been a long time since a human baby was born intentionally, and even longer since you'd seen one, so you could only make an educated guess. "And Blue Eyes-you told me he just became an adult, right? Do you know how old he is exactly?"
Caesar paused at that. His eyes wandered up to the thatched ceiling above you as he did the math in his head - something he was by no means amazing at, but had enjoyed learning. Apes understood the concept of years, but didn't often use numbers as humans did. They measured time in the passing of seasons, and an apes age would be equated to their physical development rather than the length of time they'd been alive for. This made calculating the specifics a bit tricky, although it didn't stop him from eventually giving you an answer.
"He-.... will be 8, once the cold months return." He nodded self-assuringly. "Won't be long.. before he starts thinking, about having his own children." And as he continued, his chest puffed out proudly. Being able to see his son become a father himself was something he'd never have believed possible, when he was Blue Eyes' age. When he really thought about it, he wouldn't have even believed it if someone told him he would become a father. But before he could linger on it-
"I'm closer to Blue Eyes than I am to you. In terms of... maturity."
That made him falter. His brow furrowed as he tilted his head to look at you again, the cogs in his mind turning to make sense of what you'd just told him. In truth, maturity probably wasn't the right word to use, but you couldn't think of an alternative that he'd be familiar with. What you meant was that you were at a similar stage of life to Blue Eyes, and thankfully, that's how he also interpreted it. Still, it left him contemplative.
"..... I am.... approaching the halfway, of my life. After, I will be.. closer to death, than birth. Ape death-natural death-happens when... when we are in our 30's, most often. Not always, but-" swallowing the rising lump that had formed in his throat, he forced himself to relax again. Caesar was no stranger to mortality, he'd bore witness to many deaths and births alike. He knew he would die at some point, knew what it meant to die, and had long since accepted the fact that it would one day come for him. Your mortality, on the other hand..
You shifted in his embrace, draping an arm across his midsection to stroke absentmindedly at his sternum. He was a closed book in many regards, but as his mate, you'd become familiar enough with his body language and facial expressions to read him in ways others couldn't. It was something he found both a blessing and a curse, as he was essentially forced to share his burdens with you, regardless of whether he wanted them known. And of coarse, it didn't help that his emotions ran high whenever you were the subject plaguing him, making his rising discomfort all the more noticeable.
He continued.
"Humans... you are children for such a long time. Adults, even longer. Your halfway will be.." Then, however, he trailed off. Again, sensing his mood turning, you took his hand and brought his palm to your lips, kissing it affectionately. In turn, he reacted without even thinking about it, letting his fingers cup your jaw as his thumb stroked your cheek. ".... long after I am... gone.."
"..... I know."
"I am... sorry.."
"Sorry..?"
"For-... for making you mine. Without considering all this, first." A pang of guilt struck his gut, making him take a slow breath to steady himself. "You are... so, so precious to me, my love.. and I have forsaken you... to a lifetime of grief, once... I have passed.." Another breath, this one slightly shaken. Holding you more tightly, he grit his teeth and let a wave of self-hatred wash over him. How selfish he was, for indulging in you so thoroughly. How cruel, to leave you without his care and protection for such a long expanse of your existence. To only be a part of that existence for a fraction of its length, intertwining with you in ways that would bond you forever, while forever would be something he couldn't share in. His eyes grew distant and glassy, before he blinked back the tears that were threatening to well up.
In actuality, it was something you'd considered quite a lot, even if only to yourself. The thought of growing old without Caesar at your side was one you'd had to come to terms with early on, for both your peace of mind and his, with regards to how much you intended to invest emotionally in him. That emotional investment wasn't something you really had any control over, of coarse, but it was something you could make... easier on yourself. Ultimately though, you'd come to the conclusion that the sting of inevitable loss was worth it. You would love him without restraint, and continue to love him, even when he was no longer able to love you back. Because moments like this; cuddled up next to him in your nest, basking in his presence and warmth, hearing his voice speak to you so tenderly, with such care and adoration... you might never have them otherwise. And you treasured each and every one.
His hand was still cradling your face. With a loose squeeze, you interlocked your fingers between his own and proceeded to press your lips to his knuckles one by one. It was such a human thing, kisses.. the soft delicacy of lips on rough, coarse flesh was yet another point of interest to Caesar. There was a time when apes in captivity had picked up a vague mimicry of it from humans, but with such large mouths and less controlled facial muscles, it had never managed to be quite as romantic as the original. With the development of their own customs and culture, the borrowed gesture was eventually abandoned in favour of one they made for themselves. One the two of you partook in quite regularly, in fact.
But while pressing his temple to yours was an intimate, loving act, your kisses were something else entirely. They were almost like a religious experience, as you graced him with a kind of touch not really meant for him, almost worshiping his physical form in a way that wordlessly declared your attraction, your devotion..
Yes. Kisses were, undoubtedly, a very human thing.
But that's why he liked them so much. Because only you, only his human, could ever love him in such a manner.
"I forgive you."
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incognit0slut · 2 years ago
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Right Kind of Wrong (5)
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She never thought she would be involved in a murder investigation and encounter her one-night-stand again, the awkward guy who isn’t exactly that good in bed—Or is he? Offended by the sentiment, Spencer is determined to prove her wrong… But as he gets tangled with the beautiful stranger, he realizes there is more to her than what meets the eye
Part summary: Spencer’s lack of experience on the female anatomy is educated by her. wc: 4,7k
Warnings: 18+ explicit content, graphic details of murder
a/n: sorry it took me longer to update, kind of went through a writer’s block but finally got back the vibe
Other parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
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SPENCER WAS A MAN ON A MISSION. His steps echoed on the marble floor the next morning as he entered the mundane space of the bureau, hand gripping the strap of his bag. The glass door separating the familiarity of his disorganized desk greeted him, but before he could enter the room, his heels turned towards a certain part of the office he was accustomed to.
He pushed the door at the end of the hallway to find Garcia typing away on her keyboard, her eyes fixated on the screen in front of her. The sudden sound of his arrival startled her before she swiveled in her chair, because the man standing by the door hardly visited her this early, especially when he still had his bag thrown over his shoulder.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the good doctor." She leaned back in her chair and gave him a grin. "What do I owe the pleasure of your presence in the safety of my lair?"
Spencer took a cautious step into the room as he closed the door behind him. "I need you to find me an address."
"That is my specialty." She turned back to her monitors. "Hit me."
"Y/n L/n."
There was a heavy pause as her fingers hovered above the keyboard. The familiarity of the name had her eying him as he stepped into her line of vision. "Isn't she one of the witnesses you talked to last night?"
He awkwardly cleared his throat. "Yes, she is."
"And you need her address because...?"
"I..." A sense of dread and anxiety hit him as he felt the intensity of her scrutinizing gaze. "I—I have further questions to ask."
Garcia wasn't an expert in profiling, unlike most of her teammates, but she wasn't blind when it came to picking out other people's sudden change of composure. Spencer's usually calm demeanor was suddenly replaced with discomfort, something that rarely occurred unless the topic of conversation extremely flustered him.
"You know," she started, slightly twisting her body. "Morgan told me something interesting happened last night, and I'm usually not one to gossip—" She rolled her eyes at the look he gave her. "Alright, fine, maybe I am. But it's not gossip if it's true."
His face twisted into a frown. "What did he tell you?"
"That the pretty witness lady may or may not know you personally." When he didn't respond, she urged on, "So? Is it true?"
Spencer quickly dropped his gaze to the floor. He considered himself to be a very private person, one that didn't share much about their personal life. The introverted trait in him preferred the comfort of spending his time engrossed with his own thoughts than engaging in unnecessary, awkward conversations with others. So whenever he received attention regarding his private matters, he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable under the spotlight.
"I cannot confirm nor deny that."
She scoffed. "You do realize you're not making it any less suspicious, right?"
She then proceeded in typing the name of the woman he had met the previous night but immediately stopped, her eyes piercing back at him. "What?"
"I will give you the address if you tell me whether you need it for work or personal reasons."
This was why he disliked human interaction. Couldn't one go on with their own lifestyle without questioning another person's way of life?
He let out an irritated sigh. "Garcia."
"Reid."
He pondered whether he could get away without explaining the intention of his request. But this was Penelope Garcia, known to be relentless with an interest in exchanging information about the personal lives of the team members. There was no other choice than to cave in if he wanted to avoid her persistent persuasion, so he answered—although reluctantly—in a very low voice, "Personal reasons.”
"I knew it!" She gleefully laughed. She focused her attention back onto her monitor, her fingers working their wonders before a passport picture of a woman stared back at them through the screen. "Ooh, she's pretty."
She really was. The person staring back at him was smiling, something he hadn't seen the last time he saw her. Her smile was an incredibly beautiful thing to behold. It was also incredibly contagious as he found his lips curling into a smile of his own, his eyes scanning across every feature on her radiant face. He was completely enthralled, it was as if her beauty had a grip on him, putting him in some sort of trance.
She was absolutely beautiful.
"Do you want me to save her picture? Send it to your phone?"
He felt the warmth spreading along his cheeks. "No." He turned his gaze towards the address printed on the left side of the screen, memorizing the exact street and the number of her residential.
"When I said you were a Casanova, I didn't think it would come to this extent." He threw her a frown as she explained, "A few days ago you had a lady friend at your place, and now this."
Spencer pursed his lips together. His palms immediately began to sweat as she sent him a wicked grin. His silence was all that it took for her to bounce in her chair, hands clapping at the irony of the situation. "No way. Are you telling me this is the same woman you met at the bar? The same stranger you spent the night with is the exact witness you talked to last night?"
He turned on his heels. "Goodbye, Garcia."
"Wait—no!" She grabbed him by the arm, forcing him to face her again. "Oh my god, I am so invested. This is way more entertaining than the show I'm currently watching!"
He heaved out a sigh. "I'm glad you can find amusement in my misery."
"Misery? This isn't misery, sweetheart, this is amazing. When was the last time you were involved with someone?" Far too long, he thought to himself, but his answer must've shown across his face. "Exactly. Now, aren't you glad I didn't show up that night?"
He shook his head, deciding not to answer her question, and crossed his arms instead. "This stays between us, okay?"
She nodded eagerly. "Of course."
"And you can't even mention this to Morgan."
"What?" She groaned as he proceeded to scowl at her. "Alright, alright. He will not hear any of this."
He assessed her one last time, cautiously weighing any possibility of her bluff. But when she returned his gaze with a suddenly concerned stare, he had to double-check whether he was seeing right. The mischievous glint in her eyes was replaced by a deep sense of worry, her face melting into the familiar solemn look she flashed whenever she had something important to say.
"Hey, Reid." She leaned back in her chair, tilting her head to the side. "You'll be careful, right?"
The sudden grimness of her tone caught him by surprise. "What do you mean?"
She paused for a moment, trying to sort out her words without wanting to offend him. "I just want to remind you that we're currently in the middle of investigating a case that involves her."
"She's only a witness," he pointed out.
"Doesn't make her any less important. Reid, when you're emotionally involved with anyone who is linked to a case we're working on, there's a high chance it can get messy. You know that."
Oh, how he knew that all too well. He knew how very unhealthy it could be, and how getting emotionally attached to someone involved in a case could lead to irrational or compromised decision-making. It could be a potential source of bias and it could make anyone put their personal feelings above what was best for the investigation. It could cloud people’s judgment. This was something that he would never recommend, something that he would urge anyone on the team to avoid doing.
So was he being rational now? Was running a background check on someone for personal reasons deemed appropriate?
Probably not. It was a very risky thing to consider, but Spencer was smart enough to understand how important it was to keep his emotions intact. The possibility of things getting out of hand would only happen if he couldn't keep it under control, which he was certain that he could, and he would never let anything stop him from doing his job.
"I'll be careful," he finally responded. "Thanks, Garcia."
"You are most definitely welcome, lover boy." She gave him a genuine smile before turning back toward her devices. "Now go and get your girl so I can go back to my work."
His body tensed. "She's not my girl."
She threw him a look that told him she didn't believe a word he said, something he was starting to question himself. He quickly shook his head and strode out of the room, completely denying Garcia's admission, because in his mind, Y/n was merely the stranger he met on one random night. She was simply the woman who ended up in his bed. She was the mysterious enigma who slipped into the night with nothing but a nod. She was the one who looked at him in disbelief at their unexpected encounter.
She was all of the things above, but she was definitely not his girl.
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"You need to install a security camera."
Tapping her fingers lightly against the mug in her hands, eyes fixed on the black liquid of the freshly brewed coffee, Y/n blew out a rough breath. "Please worry about yourself."
"Or better yet, get a dog," the man across from her suggested. "Those big hound dogs that would scare people off. They can easily sense danger when they see one."
"Why would I need a dog when I have you?"
He frowned at her. "I'm being serious."
"And you think I'm not?"
He went completely still, his eyes trailing across her face. "Is that a trick question?"
She took a sip of the warm coffee, letting it calm her frustration as she pondered whether kicking him out of her own house was a better option than dragging him out through the door.
"Oliver," she muttered, her voice laced with annoyance while she carefully put down her mug on the countertop. "You have practically stationed yourself in my house, barking at anyone you think might be a potential danger."
"Y/n," he followed her gesture, leaning closer into the small space of her kitchen. "It's for your safety."
"You shouted at my mailman!"
"He took an awful lot of time talking to you."
She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying not to cause a scene in the sanctuary of her own home. She had woken up this morning, limbs tangled in her sheet and body aching from all the emotions she went through the previous night, and decided she would spend the day relaxing the tension in her nerves. Do some grocery shopping, head to the beauty salon to get a manicure and a nice haircut that was long overdue, and ravish herself with a delicious meal at the new restaurant she had been wanting to visit.
But all her plans went down the drain when she heard a loud knock the moment she opened her eyes. She found Oliver standing on her front porch, holding his trademark smile and amiable posture, before lunging at her with concern while asking a bunch of questions related to what had happened.
At first, she accepted his worry, what was she to do when a friend came to her house to make sure she was doing alright? But the longer he stayed the more she wondered whether letting him inside her home was the smartest thing to do. She knew Oliver was a very persistent person, but she wasn't aware of him being this insufferable.
"You know what would make me feel safe?" She walked out of the kitchen, expecting him to follow her, something he had been doing throughout the day. "For you to stop breathing down my neck and let me enjoy my weekend in peace."
Her plan worked, he was already hot on her heels as he watched her stalk toward the front area of her house. "I came by to check in on you."
"Since the morning, it's almost 5 PM." She tugged the door open before stepping to the side. "I'm sure I can manage on my own now—"
"Who’s that?"
Shd followed his line of sight and frowned when a black vehicle stopped right at her curb, its engine cutting off a moment later. She watched as the door wrenched open and felt her heart drop as a familiar face stared directly back. The shock of seeing someone unexpected took her by surprise, it was an incredibly powerful feeling that left her pretty shaken up and even a little bit stunned, because right on her driveway was none other than Spencer-fucking-Reid.
Seeing him in action for his job last night was enough to captivate her. But watching him in a tight FBI vest over a button-down with his sleeves rolled up, showing off firm arms and veins running along the back of his hands, mesmerized her in a way that had her weak in the knees.
Suits had become the sexiest thing she'd ever seen on a man after she saw him last night—firmly replacing uniforms, she had always been a sucker for military men... until now. The authority he held wearing that vest easily became her favorite clothing on a man. On him precisely, including the gun strapped to the side of his hip. How the sight of a dangerous weapon on him could be so attractive was beyond her.
She felt Oliver inching closer, his voice extremely low, "Do you want me to bark?"
She heard his words perfectly, but her attention was too focused on the other man as he stepped onto her porch. She wasn't questioning how he got her address—because authorities could easily search any citizen's information, right?—but she was curious why he bothered coming to her house. "What are you doing here?"
Sensing the recognition in her voice, Oliver addressed the unknown man with a hard stare. "Who are you again?"
"Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid," he introduced himself, flashing his badge. "I have further questions for Ms. L/n regarding a certain case."
"You mean Jamison's murder?"
Spencer nodded, leveling his gaze with the man who stood too close to her for his liking. "I need to talk to her personally."
It was another way for him to urge Oliver out of her house, Y/n noted, which was something she didn't oppose. Oliver tensed beside her, throwing her a doubtful look. "Will you be fine?"
Would she be fine being left alone with someone she wanted nothing to do after everything that happened? Maybe not. But it was better than to have Oliver gluing himself in her home. "I’ll be fine. You can go, Oliver."
The two men addressed one another, and the mood suddenly turned intense. Spencer was very cautious and deliberate with each of his movements, trying to be intuitive and on alert for any possible threat or danger. But then Oliver nodded his head and smiled at him, shrugging away any tension that lingered in the air.
He turned towards her. "Call me if you need anything."
She stepped aside and let him pass, breathing out a grateful sigh as she finally watched him walk down the street.
"Boyfriend?"
"No," she quickly replied, frowning at the idea of Oliver being her partner. Then she shot Spencer a look. "Not that it's any of your business."
He probably deserved that. He nodded behind her as his eyes scanned the entrance of her house. "Can I come in?"
There was something about letting the man into her home. It was a very special and sacred place that brought peace and joy after a long day of work. Letting him into the comfort of her house meant letting him into a personal part of herself.
She opened the door further before he stepped inside, his eyes scanning every nook and corner. She cleared her throat and closed the door behind her. "So, you wanted to ask me more questions?"
There was a moment of silence as he turned around. "I actually came here to apologize." When she didn't respond, he added, "About last night."
She narrowed her eyes. "What exactly are you apologizing for?"
"It seemed we got off the wrong foot yesterday and I want to apologize if I offended you in any way."
The memory of last night's encounter flashed before her eyes; their unexpected encounter, the way he acted as if he had never held her naked, and how he wanted no one else to know their tryst, keeping it as a mere rendezvous between two strangers. There was some truth in that, but there was also another truth in her disappointment, and suddenly she was extremely tired of all these emotions.
"Last night was... it was awkward for both of us,” she decided to say. "Why don't we forget it ever happened?"
"Forget what?"
"Everything?" She crossed her arms, shifting her weight from one foot to another. "About last night, about—" She mentally winced. "About what happened the first night we met.”
She noticed the way his shoulders tensed. His eyes had narrowed almost imperceptibly as he studied her quietly in return. "Why?"
"What do you mean why?”
"Why do you want to forget that night?"
There was something unnerving about the way he looked at her. One of her hands nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she eyed him. She felt her heart rate pick up slightly—there could only be one reason he was asking this, right?
"Do you not want to forget it?"
She could see the way his cheeks were twitching, the muscles working as if he was weighing his next words. He took a step forward, cautiously scanning his eyes across her face. Staring wasn't quite the word for what he was doing. His eyes rested on her, not unblinking but slowed; yet the effect was soft and inviting instead of harsh or demanding. Perhaps it was his lips that give away his intention, like a ghost of a smile peeking through his features in the stillness of the room.
"What if I want a repeat of it?"
She is nhaled a sharp breath, her heart rate drastically climbing in her chest she could feel her pulse vibrating through her entire body. His unvoiced suggestion hung heavily in the air. She felt that first warm flood of arousal struck her, the blood in her body abruptly shifting south.
A shiver ran down her spine, goosebumps abruptly rising along her forearms. "What are you trying to say?"
His mouth pulled back into a slow smile before she watched him inch forward, carefully closing the distance between them. A moment later he was leaning towards her, reaching his hands out deliberately slow. Her eyes followed their movements, her breathing increasing as his hands found her own. Carefully, he started to pull her, moving extremely slow, as if giving her plenty of time to register what was happening and a chance for her to pull away.
But she didn't, instead, her body followed his direction, letting him tug her across the small gap separating them.
"I grew up in Las Vegas," he suddenly said, hands moving up her arms. "I was a child prodigy in a public school, and believe it or not, I've suffered worse things growing up than in my line of work now."
Her brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"
"Last night you didn't know the city I grew up in." A smile stretched across his lip. "And now you do."
The hands on her arms gripped a bit tighter, carefully urging her to move closer. The warmth radiating from his body was already driving her wild. How was it possible for one person to make her feel like she was completely losing her mind?
He was playing with fire, and she was practically a moth to a flame.
Her hands cautiously slid along his shoulders and up the length of his neck. She felt a faint rumble in his throat as her fingertips slid over the skin of it. Her eyes focused on the way he was watching her, eyes fluttering in a haze, mouth slightly parted. Biting her lip, she slipped her hand into his disheveled hair, carefully raking her fingers through the softness of it. He instantly leaned into the touch as she felt the growing need in her rising.
"Is this even allowed?" She breathed out, shuddering at the way the firmness of his vest pressed against her chest. "Fornicating with the witness?"
"It's probably not the wisest thing to do," was his honest reply.
She pulled him closer as she felt his arms settling around her waist. "Yet you still want to break the rules?"
Eyes dropping down to her mouth, his gaze lingered on her luscious lips. Gradually he leaned down towards her, his own lips parting as their breaths mingled in the small space between them. He shifted his forehead against hers, his nose lightly bumping into her own.
"Wouldn't be here if I didn't want to."
And then he closed the gap, caressing his lips just barely against hers, before thrusting himself into her open mouth, an obvious level of hungry desperation in the way he devoured her whole. He'd wanted this—wanted to taste her again ever since she stood unexpectedly in front of him. Sucking the entirety of her bottom lip into his mouth, she let out a moan. That glorious, soft, perfect, bit of flesh fit entirely into his mouth. His tongue danced along the length of it, a deep grunt coming from his throat as she melted further in his arms.
Spencer’s hands grabbed her hard by the hips as he tugged her into his body so tight she could feel his arousal pressing into her. She gasped in surprise, and he took the moment to lunge deeper into her mouth, feverishly in a flurry of tongue and teeth, his mouth only riling her further. The feeling of his tongue colliding against hers sent her into a nose dive of indescribable sensation. The longer the kiss lasted, the hotter she felt, and the warmer her skin got. 
She breathed out another moan, fingers carding through the lengthier parts of his hair. The more his mouth moved against hers, the harder it was becoming to hold back. She was pouncing on him, kissing him back with as much fervor, and slightly let out a whimper when he pulled back. His mouth broke from hers, slipping down to place kisses along her jawline. She bit her lip, head tilting back just as he muttered, "Tell me how you want to be touched."
The request had her pulling back, staring at him in disbelief. "What?"
"What you said last night..." He explained, a sudden insecurity weighing in his eyes. "It got to my head."
Mouth opening and closing, she stared at him in stunned silence. Then the realization hit her on what he was implying. "I said that out of the heat of the moment," she assured him. "I was simply mad at you."
Although the way she was trying to avoid his gaze told him otherwise. "I'm a profiler. I can tell if you're lying."
She couldn't stop the amused laugh slipping through her lips. "Look," she started, slightly tugging his hair. "It wasn't that you were bad. But you could've been, I don't know—better, perhaps?"
"You do know how to bruise a man's ego," he muttered, more to himself than to her. He let out a sigh as she stared at him in amusement. "Let me be honest with you, I don't have that much experience with women, but..." he trailed off, pressing a soft kiss at the corner of her lips. "I do want to know how you want to be touched."
She could feel her amusement slipping away as she struggled to wrap her mind around what was happening, breath coming in short, her body filled with a warmth that wasn't just from her growing arousal. "You're being serious, aren't you?"
"Very." His nose intentionally bumped against hers this time, the hand on her lower back somehow holding her tighter to him. “I have three bachelor's degrees and completed three doctorate programs, learning and excelling in new subjects is engraved deep in my blood."
She playfully shoved him. "Show off."
He simply smiled, slightly pulling away. His head turned just a fraction towards her, hands sliding along her hips. “Tell me how I can be better for you.”
She stared at him, completely enthralled with the way his eyes lingered across her face—her eyes, her nose, her mouth. This was dangerous, letting herself fall deeper into this lust, but somehow it felt right. It felt incredibly right to feel his arms around her. It felt perfectly right as she snaked her arms behind her, grabbed onto his hand, and pulled him deeper into her home.
Her mind was too clouded with a desire to think clearly, and even when a little voice at the back of her head reminded her how wrong getting tangled with an authority in this situation was, she simply decided not to listen. Instead, she guided him toward her living room and walked him over to the single-seated sofa before placing her hands on his chest.
Spencer’s brows drew together, a small crease forming between them. She gently pushed him back, the back of his legs hitting the furniture as he settled himself between the soft cushions. He sat there, staring expectantly at her standing before him. Ignoring any self-conscious thoughts, she gripped the bottom of her blouse and swiftly pulled it over her head.
His eyes went wide. “What are you doing?"
A coy smile stretched across her mouth as she undid her pants, noticing the way he is eyes were focused on every little move she made. His question was left unanswered as she slipped off her jeans, kicking them off as they finally slid down her legs. Then she unclasped her bra and his mouth opened, eyes narrowing as his head tilted back, his tongue slowly sweeping along his bottom lip. He instinctively reached out, his calloused pads brushed her bare skin and a shudder ran down her spine before she slipped away from his touch.
He groaned a moment later. “Where are you going?”
She shook her head, still not answering him. She then turned around with her back facing him, and because she found pleasure in the way his eyes glazed every time she teased him, her fingers grabbed the band of her underwear, slowly sliding it down her legs. He let out a strained whimper as the evidence of her slick arousal clung onto the fabric, and it took a lot of self-control for him to stay still.
And when she finally turned around, he took in the sight of her naked form standing before him. She was as beautiful as he remembered, so perfectly made—full breasts, hips, thighs—the body of a woman as a woman was meant to be. But before he could devour her naked flesh with his eyes, she took a step back before sinking herself onto the longer couch, a wicked smile playing on her lips.
There was something compelling being the one in charge, even when she seemed to be the only one naked, wearing nothing but a taunting smile while he sat there still in the confinement of his vest. Good lord—that vest. It was doing things to her. The vest. The hair. That look. The way he was watching her wrecked her and now she was wondering how much longer she could put on a show until he came undone.
"I'm not going to tell you how I want to be touched.” Her sultry voice rang in his ears as she leaned back, her knees falling apart. And when he thought she couldn’t drive him more insane than he already was, her fingers slipped between her legs painfully slow. Goosebumps rose along his skin, a shudder of anticipation running down his body.
“I think I might have to show you."
He let out a strangled sigh.
She was going to be the death of him.
>> NEXT PART
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the-s1lly-corner · 2 months ago
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If it's alright, could I request a Toby, Slenderman, Eyeless Jack, and Jane the Killer x reader (separately), where the reader has no self preservation? Not in a sad way, but more in a "cheerfully confident that they can handle it" kinda way.
Either way, I hope you have a good day!
Crps x overly confident!reader w/ no survival instinct
Points
JANE REQUEST SPOTTED!! Feels like hardly anyone asks for her!!
Side note I could NOT find a good gif LMAO
Characters: Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman, Jane the Killer
Notes: reader is GN, reader is not suicidal in any way they just think they're built different, reader is written as a human
CWs: injury and blood mentions, canon typical violence and death
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SLENDERMAN
hes seen humans die to less, hes not going to let you follow that path... why would have to do any of this when hes right here to do the dirty work for you without complaint? he simply doesnt get it
but still, if he knows you will survive he will let you go- as foolish as he may think you are for throwing yourself into a fight or disaster- he will never fully understand humans so surely you must have a reason for this? stops this when it just leads to you getting hurt over and over, it slowly becomes clear that youre doing it because youre cocky. you truly do think you'd come out the other side unscathed
you dont even get the chance to throw yourself into a fight against a someone wielding a weapon- theyre torn down before you can get too close, leaving behind a mess of gore on the ground. your attitude may have rubbed off on him, he hardly ever displays such strength and violence- but if this is what needs to be done to show that you dont need to fight anymore then so be it
TICCI TOBY
honestly? he might just join you in whatever danger youre about to throw yourself in- he himself doesnt have much survival instinct, though a lot of that hinges off of his inability to feel pain. he minimizes the damage done to his body most of the time
and... that kind of bleeds into how he acts when youre reckless, afterall hes never had to be careful about himself- and you seem to hold the same belief to your own body... its going to take a real nasty injury to snap him out of that and make him realize that youre not invincible- even if the lesson doesnt sink in for you
you still sometimes make light hearted bets on things when stuff gets intense- "oh i bet i can take him-" "oh i can do this with one hand tied behind my back-" and so on and so fourth
youre both a little.... foolish...
EYELESS JACK
painfully aware of human anatomy and what it can and cant take- that comes from being very interested in the topic as well as being able to look inside human bodies first hand
a lot of the time you cant even take a single step towards the danger, hes already got his hand on your shoulder and tugging you into the other direction... and in the case where its dangerous but not deadly? you can feel the look hes giving you under his mask... for someone with no eyes he can give a mean glare
you give him hypotheticals for threats that you can take on and hes just "absolutely not."... he will not spare your ego, your safety is far more important to him- youre the one good thing in his life and hes not going to let you get yourself killed
JANE THE KILLER
it takes her a moment to process what youve said and by then youre already running towards the threat- and shes bolting after you to either back you up or drag you away... preferably drag you away if its something that cannot be stopped or bested
what were you thinking? are you insane? what if you were killed? shes not going to hold anything back, she wants to understand why you would do something like that- especially unprepared... do you have a death wish?
not at all happy or pleased with your little habit of just. running into things head first... she doesnt think its commendable or brave, and shes going to let you know what she thinks as shes trying to stop your wounds from bleeding all over the place
you can tell shes trying to be nice- well, niceish- but her tone does slip out as she speaks
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weirdmarioenemies · 1 year ago
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Name: Blewbird Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder
Blewbird is weird. I mean, no duh, it's being featured on "Weird Mario Enemies," even if our blog title gets less and less fitting by the day, but I mean weirder than you'd realize by just looking at it at a glance. If you just take a quick glance at it, you might not think much of it -- just a stylized cartoon bluebird, reminiscent of The Artist Formerly Known As Twitter.
But then you look at it more closely, notice things like its black shell and brown shoes. How weirdly smooth its skin is, without even the suggestion of feathers. The fact it doesn't have wings at all. The fact these things burrow out of the ground.
Oh, and let's not forget the fact they shoot off their own beaks!
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Yeah, let's not ignore the main hook of the enemy here! Blewbirds predominantly appear in the level Blewbird Roost, where they'll stand against walls and shoot out their beaks at Mario and Friends. Of course, usually their beaks end up sticking to walls across from them...
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And unfurling into platforms! That's right! Blewbirds are an animal that evolved to create Platforming Challenges! Is this how they traverse all the open air in the caves they live in without wings? It's not like they can burrow everywhere!
So whatever Blewbirds are, I'm pretty sure they're not birds. Blewbirds are birds in the sense that jellyfish are fish. (A comparison I'm pretty sure I've made multiple times on the blog at this point.) But if they aren't birds, then what are they? Well, let's take another look at Blewbird without its beak...
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Does it remind you of anything...?
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Because it reminds me of Birdo, another character who's named after a bird for no particularly good reason whatsoever! Almost like it's all connected... But I mean, the similarities are hard to ignore -- the tube mouth optimized for shooting projectiles, the white underbelly, the weirdly smooth skin, heck, you could probably make the very bold argument that Blewbird's ponytail and Birdo's bow are connected somehow.
But wait! I'm not ending things right there, because Blewbird doesn't only have similarities to Birdo...
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You see, Nintendo has connected the Birdos and Yoshis for a while now, as Mario's main Weird Dinosaur Characters, but there hasn't been an awful lot actually connecting them in-universe... until now?! For you see, I'm making the radical claim that Blewbirds are proof of a missing link species that connects the Yoshis and Birdos! Look at it! The tube mouth of Birdo. The shell and shoes of Yoshi. It's all so clear now!
Blewbirds aren't birds! They're some sort of weird dinosaur! Just like... just like... just like real birds. Hmm.
Maybe I need to rethink the point I was making with this post. Taxonomy is weird, guys.
*phone ringing*
Oh! Hold on, I need to answer that. Hello?
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Hmmm... as a matter of fact, I think I am! I spent so much time talking about Yoshis and Birdos that I forgot to do this: *touches Wonder Flower to trigger Wonder Effect for the post*
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During Blewbird Roost's Wonder Effect, Blewbirds will start blowing very large, very colorful bubbles! Your character can bounce on these bubbles to go *Pauline voice* ♪ High up in the sky~! ♪, but you need to be careful, since each bubble pops when you jump on it! The number of Blewbirds in the Blewbird Roost doesn't make that much of an issue, but in a Special World level where you're a Goomba who can hardly jump at all? Well... Good Luck!
That being said, this raises even more questions about Blewbird anatomy, because they blow these bubbles out of their beaks! You know, the ones they shoot off that, as far as I'm aware, aren't even part of their bodies? And in order to blow bubbles out of their beak, their mouth has been moved to the end of it! What is going on here?!
I'm not sure, but I can try to provide a relatable human analogy! Imagine if you put a Cone in your mouth, but someone nearby touched a Wonder Flower, so the Cone fused to your face and the mouth was at the end of the Cone, and you were very scared about this development so you tried to scream but only bubbles came out. We've all been there! And for the Blewbird, it's exactly like this. Hopefully now you understand!
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bots-and-cons · 8 months ago
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Howdy again! Is it possible you could do the same prompt l asked last time (reader dies and turns cybertronian) but with Autobots instead of cons? Thank you so much!!!!
A/N: If someone’s interested in the decepticon version you can find that here. Ratchet has morals, hence no human experimentation on the autobots’ part
•You were taken by the decepticons and experimented on 
•Ever since the whole thing with Silas, Knockout and Shockwave were both interested in if they could repeat the experiment
•It was mostly Shockwave though, Knockout thought what happened to Breakdown was absolutely disgusting, but he also wanted to know how it was done, so repeating the experiment on you was a chance for that
•So, they did their experiment, constructing you a body from vehicon parts and putting the necessary parts from you into it
•Anyway, the cons returned you to the autobots in a rather cruel manner, basically Megatron just tossed you at their feet saying something like “I believe this is your pet”
•Ratchet worked for days to make sure you would survive in your new body, but he had a lot of trouble, because he didn’t know how much at all about human anatomy or biology
•Shockwave and Knockout had already done most of the work for him though, so he just had to finish the job and make sure you would continue to stay alive
•When you woke up, you were very confused, and scared too
•Your head was all foggy, you couldn’t remember much of anything, certainly not how you’d come to be this way
•It took a couple of days for you to be even able to move your arms or legs, and being able to stand and walk took much longer
•Ratchet was there to look after you the whole time, someone had to be, because you were pretty confused most of the time
•You had a lot of gaps and holes in your memory, you knew things like your name and you knew the autobots were friendly or at least not a threat to you, but you didn’t know who they were or what they were like
•You also didn’t remember anything about how you’d been made into this thing you now were
•You knew you used to be human, but it felt like it had been a dream
•Optimus was of course furious that the decepticons had done this to you, but he kept it under control, so hardly anyone noticed
•Except for Ratchet of course, he was also horrified by what had been done to you and he honestly just tried not to think about it most of the time, because you were still alive
•Arcee was probably the most visibly furious about the whole thing, she even ranted a little about how this was the last straw, etc etc
•Bee was also seething, but his anger was more mixed with this overwhelming sadness and confusion, he had seen the decepticons committing countless atrocities, but this was undoubtedly among the worst
•The whole team had a very hard time understanding how the decepticons could do this, you were no threat to them
•They were all furious, but they tried to keep a lid on it, some managed that better than others, because they wanted to aid in your recovery
•Your recovery was very slow, but they all tried to be there for you as best as they could
•You had to learn to control your new body, and all that came with being a pseudo-cybertronian
•Ratchet kept scanning you constantly for the first three months, at least twice a day, more if something unusual happened
•You had a very hard time mentally for a long while, because of getting used to your new body, never being able to see your family/friends again, and the fact that you had been dead
•Even though you didn’t exactly remember how you had been experimented on, the whole thing still plagued you in your nightmares
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crowandmousewritingco · 2 months ago
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Foretold in the Scales
Pairing: dragon!Marcus Moreno x gn!reader
Words: 3.4 k
Rating: M (smut city. 18+ MDNI)
Summary: The dragon needs a new mate, and it's your turn.
Warnings: Fated mates, ceremonies, slight dub con (you didn't choose this, but later on you consent to it) breeding, ovipositing, mentions of pregnancy with an egg, dragon anatomy, oral (reader receiving)
Author: Mod Mouse
Notes: This is my entry for the Monster (S)mash challenge hosted by the lovely @quinnnfabrgay-writes and @hauntedhowlett-writes. I loved this challenge so much! It makes me wanna write more monsters smut hehe.
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That goodman dragon scale. It of course landed on you cause that was the last thing you needed today. But as it spun around as if it seemed to be “pulled” towards you. At least that's what the priests said, but you didn’t buy it. Unfortunately though for you, once the scale decided there was no going back, because if He found out that the village was lying, then they could find someone else to protect them. 
The rest of the day was a blur. Oils and perfumes were sprayed on your body creating a cloud of scents that made your head spin. Your hair was decorated with different local flowers while someone painted the ceremonial glyphs on your pale skin. You remember being dressed in the ceremonial ashen gray linens that hardly hid what lay underneath. Soon you were the spitting image of the sacrifice you were meant to be. 
The precession was a blur as four of the strongest warriors carried you on the dias up the long mountain trail that led to your future. Hymns and songs were sung as you climbed higher and higher until the village where you had called home for most of your life was now just a dot in the valley.
Stones piled up beside the entrance of the caves were carved with reliefs but you knew what they depicted. When every king tried to take the city those long centuries ago, there was only one person…or rather one creature that saved them. The Pewter Protector they called him. A massive dragon with a mouth full of flesh tearing teeth flew down from the heavens and slayed the enemy. The village begged for the dragon’s protection, and the Protector obliged. 
But that protection came at a price. He came from a dying breed and so to continue his safeguard, he required a sacrifice. It wasn’t food or money. No it was human. He required a mate. A mate that would carry another one of his kind. Someone to keep him company through the long nights and keep him warm during the mating season. 
Which is why you were here now, as the priestess sang out the chants that praised the Protector and called him from his dark chambers. You knew the ceremonies. The men would set their dias down and the procession would quietly leave as the priestess would continue their songs until their voices were lost in the winds. 
The high mountain winds whipped around you as you stared at the dark expanse of the cave. The silence was unnerving. Goosebumps ran up your skin making you wrap your arms around your torso, hoping for an ounce of warmth. Not even a pebble dropped as you waited for your husband to present himself. Soft tears threatened to spill from your eyes as time passed. As much as you wanted to be strong you were terrified. You squeezed your eyes shut waiting for your fate. 
“I keep telling them that I don’t want all of this,” You heard a voice break your silence and you opened your eyes in confusion. A tall dragonborn stood in front of you. Dark gray scales covered most of his body and arched across his neck and cheek like a stroke of charcoal. His eyes were dark to match the midnight hair that sprouted across his head and jawline. 
“W-What?” You whispered as you took him in. 
He sighed and slowly approached you. “I’m really sorry for all of this trouble,” He apologized as he held out his clawed hand out to your body. 
You looked down to his hand and back up to his face, confusion etched deep into your expression. “You…what?” 
“I’m sorry again. I know this is strange and I’ve been trying to tell them forever that I really don’t need them to use the scale. I promise them that I can tell who my mate is for the season just by…” He pauses as the wind changes, drifting your scent into his sensitive nose. 
“By what?” You asked, rising to your bare feet. 
“You smell sweet,” The Protector complimented as he turned back to you. 
“Um, thank you?” You asked. 
“Oh goodness, where are my manners? Please follow me.” He gestured to his cave and you followed him down into his lair. 
Though as you walked you were surprised grew even more. “I-It’s warm in here.” You comment as the walls turn more and more decorated with reliefs and other such designs. 
“That would be the mountain’s core. I know most dragonkind need their heat and we aren’t any different.” The dragon answers as you enter the biggest area so far. There wasn’t much in the way of furniture except for a large fire pit and a giant collection of pelts and pillows in the surrounding area. 
“This is…actually quite cozy.” You look around the room and find yourself smiling at the surroundings. 
“Please make yourself at home,” The Protector getured to his area. “Would you like some tea?” 
“Yes I would like some um…I don’t think I got your name?” 
“Marcus,” He smiled with his gleaming white teeth. He took his tea kettle out and filled it with water from the barrel in the corner. Gently he took the full kettle and hung it above the fire. With a groan he sat himself next to the fire. Carefully you sat near him warming yourself on the flames. 
“So you aren’t as vicious as they say.” You said, turning to look at him. 
He looked back with almost a hurt expression. “I don’t like to hurt humans. I only do harm when there’s a threat to the village.” 
“Then why do they do this whole ceremony? Since apparently I’ve only known a lie.” You chuckled softly. 
Marcus sighed. “I think they think they owe my kind for something we did long ago. But we did it because they helped us first.” 
“What did they do?” You asked as the kettle began to whistle. 
The dragon turned his torso to grab the two cups and set them in front of him. Carefully he grabbed the kettle’s handle and poured the tea. The leaves swirled as the hot water saturated them, filling your nose with the herbal scents. 
“They saved my daughter from poachers,” He answered as he handed you the tea and you thanked him. The mug was warm against your hand and you shivered when you realized how cold you were. 
“Here,” He said quietly and stood up taking one of the pelts from the bed. With a gentleness you weren’t expecting from a dragon, he draped it over your shoulders. 
You gently caressed the fur smiling at how comforting it was. “What’s your daughter’s name?” 
“Missy. She was out training one day and they surrounded her. Luckily some soldiers saw the situation and saved her. The Steel Clan is forever indebted to them,” He smiled softly drifting to his mug. “She’s got her own mountain to defend. Hatchlings always grow up too fast.” 
“Seems to be a trait no matter the species,” You smiled before taking a sip of the tea. The herbal aroma hit your tongue and you sighed. The scent drew you back to winter nights in your house, and a sense of both nostalgia and homesickness knotted in your stomach.
Marcus sensed your subtle body language frowned.  “You know you can leave. I don’t want to keep you here.” Marcus told you, taking you in with his charcoal eyes. 
You chuckled. “Did I say something wrong?” He asked with concern in his voice. 
“No no just,” Your thumb traces the rim of your cup. “You’re a lot different than I thought. I don’t mind staying. And you’re unlike what they tell us in the village.” 
“What do they tell you?” He asked with concern in his voice. 
“It’s a lot more authoritative and demanding,” You sighed, staring at the dark liquid in your cup. 
“That’s really what they say about me?” Marcus frowned, hurt laced in his dark eyes. 
“Something must have gotten lost in translation…because you really are sweet.” 
You swear you could see a scales flush. “You are too kind.” Marcus replied, taking a sip to hid his face. 
“I should thank you for not eating me,” You chuckled, but your mirth was quickly replaced by a yawn. 
“Here you should rest. Take my nest for tonight, I’ll sleep by the fire.” Before you could protest, he held his palm out. “I insist.” 
And honestly you didn’t have the energy to resist. Wrapping the pelt around your shoulders, you gave him a quick “Thank you,” before rising to your feet. Marcus watched you as you stumbled to the nest of blankets and settled yourself amongst the pile. 
Marcus kept an eye out until he heard your breathing even out, but stayed for longer just to make sure. As quietly as he could with his bulky form, he wandered to the entrance. A low grumble flowed from his mouth, as he stretched his hidden wings. Large veiny membranes spread out taking up most of the space. The wind furled against them and Marcus sighed at the feeling. It was a moment before he spoke to himself. “I must provide for my mate.” With a swoosh of his wings, he soared into the dark sky looking for prey to feed his beloved. 
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The days passed without much excitement. Marcus cared for you which was more than kind of him. He insisted that you didn’t lift a finger, but you would sneakily tidy the area when he was out. You had to admit you didn’t hate the routine of it. Past you would hate staying in one place for too long. But the more time you spent in Marcus’s company, the more you found yourself being drawn to him unexpectedly. 
Your body began to warm whenever you were in his presence even if it was outside in the cold winds. Maybe it was just that he was the best company in a long time, or maybe it was something else but you loved staying near him. Until one day where everything clicked into place. 
The smell of cooking meats woke you from your slumber. A deep inhale filled your lungs with the aromatic scent and you closed your eyes to enjoy the moment. It smelt like the smoked meats from the village, earthly and savory all at the same time. Pushing yourself up from your cozy bed, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. 
Marcus stood with his back behind you, his wings now visible to you though constricted because of the small space. Rising to your feet, you slowly walked over to the fire. Curiously your fingers tough ridges. The skin was bumpy against your skin and you found the touch bringing you comfort. 
The dragon drew in a sharp inhale as you slowly caressed his wings. “Y-you shouldn’t do that.” 
You quickly retracted your hand. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean well I hadn’t seen your wings,” You rambled. “Just thought they were pretty is all.” 
Marcus turned around and you were taken aback by how much he was panting. “Marcus?” 
“The problem isn’t you. The problem is that if you keep doing that, I won’t be able to control myself,” He purred, stepping closer to your form. Until now you never realized just how much he towered over you. 
“What do you mean?” 
“There’s a reason the ceremony happens when it does. Mating season came quicker for me, and that’s because you entered my life. You’re my mate.” He answered. Your scent permeated his nostrils making him crave you more. “But I can’t mate you without your full consent. If you want to walk away and live a normal life I will not blame you.” 
“Your mate, how do you know?” You asked confused yet curious at the same time. 
“How do humans say? It’s like butterflies in your stomach, but we feel a physical tugging at our souls,” He answered gently, caressing his stomach. 
Something pulled you to do the same and your fingers slid under your thin covering. A pulse of electricity sparked in your eyes and you gasped. “W-What was…?” You began, but as you lifted your head to meet his gaze, there was something different about Marcus. The light from the fire lit him up like you’ve never noticed before. It was as if a bolt of magic filled the room and focused itself on Marcus. 
“Mate?” You whispered and you slowly reached up to cup his cheek in your hand. The rough scales sending comfort throughout your body as you caressed them with your thumb.  Marcus’s chest rumbled as he purred against your palm, nuzzling like a cat. You couldn’t help but giggle at this tall creature acting just like a household pet. 
“Yes my mate,” He purred and he leaned his head down just close enough to brush his lips against yours a silent ask for your consent. 
You quickly filled the space and kissed him passionately. His lips were both soft and rough at the same time. The scales brushed against your chin, and you found yourself falling in love with the feeling. Some part of you wanted to know how those felt in between your legs. 
A soft moan escaped your lips and Marcus paused gently, setting his hands on your hips as if they were made of the finest porcelain. “Are you sure about this?” He asked as his fingers gingerly caressed your hips. Claws carefully poking at your skin and you bit your lip. Suddenly the heat inside you was so much. You wanted…no…you craved Marcus. 
“I’m sure,” You leaned up and whispered in his ear. “Put an egg in me Marcus.” 
Marcus groaned at the sight of you round with his egg. “Bed. Now.” He moaned as he backed you into the nest. You smirked as you kissed him slowly pulling him on top of you. Hungrily he kissed you with his hands up and down your sides. His claws delicately teasing your chest making you gasp. 
“M-Marcus,” You moaned, tilting your head back against the furs. 
He chuckled and nibbled at your neck. “Such a handsome sight.” He kept one of his clawed hands on your chest and with one of his claws ripped the material away as gently rubbed your slit. “Mmmm already achingly needy for me darling. Getting you all ready to take my cock.” He growled and kissed his way down your body. Each one sending tingles to your hands and feet. 
He only stopped right between your legs. “Now let's see how you taste. I bet it’ll tell me how fertile you are.” He licked a long lap from your hole to your most sensitive area. You moaned loudly grabbing on his dark locks as you tried to ride his face. 
With a strong hand he kept your hips in place and gazed up at you licking his lip. “Be good for me baby. If you are, I’ll put a baby in you, and by the looks of it it won’t be too hard.” 
You moaned at his words as his tongue dipped inside you once more lapping up your arousal soaking his face. The taste was like nothing he had ever experienced and he would be damned if he ever stopped. Eternity wouldn’t be enough time to memorize your taste. 
“Fuck just the most divine taste,” He purred and nibbled your sensitive thigh. “You’re a perfect mate.” 
“Marcus,” You whined but you loved every second. Every lick and touch sent your bond pulsing. 
“Shhh baby let me take care of you,” He kissed the bite mark before pushing his tongue inside your hole once again. His movements were precise making sure you were opened up for him. He loved being a dragon, but the claws were something he couldn’t control. That just meant he became so prolific with his tongue. 
And the practice was evident on the way you writhed under his touch. Every lick and suck sent so much pleasure your way. The pressure in your stomach grew and grew as your legs began to shake. 
“Marcus!” You screamed in ecstasy as you came hard from his tongue. Stars danced in your eyes as you curled your legs around your mates back, pulling him into you more. Toes curling and legs shaking left you feeling high from your orgasm.
The dragon purred in contentment as his tongue slowed as your high slowed to stop leaving you breathless. “Such a handsome mate I have,” He grinned and kissed up your body, taking his time to explore and memorize every dip and curve of your body. “I’m never gonna get use to this canvas.” 
You whimpered under the praise and you pulled him against your chest. His cool scales soothing your heated skin as you kissed him deeply. Gently you nuzzled your face into his shoulder taking him in with every sense. 
Marcus leaned his mouth nibbling your earlobe gently. “I’m gonna put a egg in you,” He moaned as his hips rocked against your thigh. His hardening cock rubbing against the soft skin. Curiously you peaked down and blushed at the size. It was big. Nothing compared to the size of the men in the village. 
“Fuck,” You cursed as you reached down to take it in your hand. It pulsed under your touch as you stroked it tentatively. The bumps and ridges felt foreign to you, but gods did your thoughts wonder at the idea of that deep inside of you as he pumped you full of his cum. 
“It’s okay. I’ll be gentle,” Marcus whispered, nuzzling his nose into your neck. 
You were quiet for a moment, making Marcus lift his head in concern. You made eye contact with him. “I don’t think I want you to be,” You admitted. 
Marcus’s eyes darkened and he pressed his forehead into yours. You felt his cock bounce in your hand. “Are you sure? I won’t be able to hold back.” 
“Please mate,” You whispered. 
Marcus growled as he guided his cock away from your hand and pushed into you in one fluid motion. The penetration was sudden, but it sent such intense pleasure through you that you thought you could finish with just that. 
But the noises Marcus made were hymns to your ears. He panted and growled as he felt you around his cock. “I-I can’t wait any longer.” 
“Fuck me Marcus.” 
And that was all he needed. His hips pulled back and snapped forward back into your hole. Everything felt divine. The bumps, the length, everything made your head spin. “Fuck!” You moaned as Marcus set a fast pace. 
With every thrust, Marcus became more and more desperate. Desperate to fill you with his seed and desperate to plant an egg inside of you. The image of you round with his egg spurred him on. You squeezed around him like your soul depended on it. 
Whether it was your newly discovered bond, or the immaculate feeling of Marcus inside you, but you felt the heat rise in your stomach once again. The dragon thrusted faster as he felt you tighten around you. “Cum for your mate,” He moaned. 
Your pleasure snapped and you squeezed around him as you reached your high once again. This was enough for Marcus. 
“I’m gonna,” He grunted as his cock twitched, your tight hole making it hard to last. 
“Cum mate,” You moaned, and your words sent him over the edge. With a growl that filled the chamber, he came buried inside of you. You moaned with every quiver of his cock as his cum filled your hole. But it wasn’t quite normal. With each spurt, it felt bumpy, and it took you a moment to realize that it was eggs filling you up. And you moaned as each one filled you fuller and fuller. Marcus’s hand gently caressed the small bump in your stomach, please with the sight. 
Just as you thought Marcus would pull out, he gently lifted your hips, setting a pillow underneath your back. Confused, you looked back up at him. He smirked. “Not gonna let anything drip out of you. I want to make sure the eggs stay inside of you.” 
You moaned and bit your lips. Marcus smiled and carefully leaned over to kiss your forehead. “My sweet mate will be well taken care of. But for now rest. You need all the energy to incubate our eggs.” Sleepiness filled your head and your eyes slowly began to dip close. The hum of Marcus’s purring sending you into a very satisfied sleep.
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All Works Taglist
@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose
Pedro Character Taglist
@littlemisspascal @burntheedges
@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal
@morallyinept @lady-bess
@pedrostories @rivnedell
@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing
Thank you the lovely @saradika-graphics for the dividers
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atsulovee · 10 months ago
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NSFW ALPHABET - fem dazai . . . ❣
➻❥ cw: technically gn!reader but intended to be read as wlw, smut, switch dazai, switch reader, drug use, strap-ons, very mild yandere themes?? idk how that happened ➻❥ wc: 2.0k ➻❥ notes: we need more wlw content in the bsd smut tags please i'm so desperate. femzai...save me femzai... femzai save me.... i only used the letters of dazai's name for this one so let me know if you want the full version :) ➻❥ divider: @/kithsune
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Oral -  (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
♡ fem dazai is a lot like regular dazai in a lot of ways, but one of the most notable differences is how much of a princess she is. she just adores the way you look with your head between her thighs, your pretty face framed by her scarred thighs, doting on her as she moans and whines like the brat she is. she’ll never say no if you want to be eaten out, of course! she loves digging her fingers into the plush of your thighs as she fucks your pretty cunt with her tongue, feeling you cream on her tongue… maybe it’s a cliche, but she would love to suffocate between your thighs ♡ she’s very experienced, too! during her years in the port mafia, she had become an expert in human anatomy and physiology and it certainly had more uses than torturing the poor souls who knew too much. she knows where every sensitive nerve is, exactly when to move, and how to do it to make both pretty girls and handsome men fall apart in seconds. ♡ after she became an executive, she somewhat frequently found herself in bars, bringing anyone who caught her attention to bed with her. she never really had a lot of down time and it was always a little dangerous to stay that vulnerable for so long, so dazai often found herself either eating some girl out or getting serviced herself as quick as possible, which certainly wasn’t hard with both her experience and skill.
Stamina - (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
♡ it varies from day to day. some days, her libido just dips out of nowhere which leaves her with only one orgasm in her. but on better days, she’s more than excited to push both you and herself to your limits. Most times when you get intimate, it lasts hours. Thorough foreplay and passionate sex. ♡ when she doms, she focuses more on your pleasure which means she’ll last as long as you can. and even then, she’ll mumble soothingly into your ear as she continues to work her fingers in and out of your pussy, feeling your cum drip down her fingers and into her palm. She refuses to stop for the night until one of two things happen. either she edges you and overstimulates you until you cum for her at least three times or you use your safe word. ♡ when she subs, however, she likes when you push her over her limits until all she can do is whimper and sob out your name. when she lets you have control, you have control. you decide when she cums, you decide how she gets railed, you decide when you stop. the safeword counts when she says it too, of course, but she hardly ever sees the need to say it.
Aftercare - (what they’re like after sex)
♡ any version of dazai is a total princess, through and through. unless one of you squirted and cleaning up is absolutely necessary, all she’ll wanna do is cuddle and love up on you. ♡ if she was particularly rough and you’re out of it by the time she’s done with you, she’ll begrudgingly get up to grab a washcloth to clean up the sticky mess between your legs. she’s pretty chatty afterwards, too. as she cleans you up, she’s chuckling and teasing you about the mess you made. ♡ “such a pretty, messy little thing…” she mumbles, though her voice is all you can hear in the almost silent room. the damp washcloth continually inches closer and closer to your still wet cunt, warm and soothing. ♡ ahem. anyway. ♡ if you’re too sleepy to hold a conversation, she’ll just run her fingers through your hair as she peppers kisses over your sternum and up your neck as her fingers play with the soft fat of your chest. ♡ and no matter what, she expects you to return the favor or else you’ll get an earful from your clingy, whiny girlfriend.
Motivation - (what turns them on, gets them going)
♡ aside from all the expected things (like seeing you in lingerie, watching sweat drip from your neck and disappear between your tits, seeing you out of breath and spattered in someone else’s blood-) she loves when you get passionate about something. she loves listening to you rant, looking at you with lovestruck eyes as you pace around the living room. she loves watching you get pissed, though she feels a little guilty about that one, because she can’t help but fantasize about how you could ruin her. she’s far from weak but she certainly is no blackbelt. ♡ everyone knows dazai thrives on getting reactions out of people, so even the smallest blush, groan or sneer from you as she whispers her filthiest ideas and fantasies to you is enough to make her thighs quiver. ♡ the way you, jokingly or not, call her a pervert or a creep as she tells you how she’d love to die between your legs or how pretty you look when you whine and squirm as one of your vibrators tortures your clit.
Unfair - (how much they like to tease)
♡ it’s dazai. that’s all that needs to be said. ♡ but for real, no matter if she’s subbing or domming, she’s going to be teasing you ruthlessly. if you cum quick, she’ll praise herself and call you easy. she’s just so good, of course her pretty little whore would fall apart immediately <3 ♡ if she has to work to make you cum, she’ll only get meaner as she purposely puts off your orgasm just to make you cry out for her. ♡ even when she’s on the bottom, laced through her cries of ecstasy, she’ll be complaining about you being soft with her, asking you if that’s all you’ve got. But you both know she’s just trying to provoke you into wrecking her until she can’t walk the next day.
Dirty secret - (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
♡ she’s a woman with plenty of skeletons in her closet, so it’s no surprise she has a couple of perversions. i’m such a firm believer of pervert! Dazai and i’m preaching it every day. ♡ she thinks about spitting into your mouth as she puts you in the mating press as she wears a strap on. she loves wearing your underwear, especially right after you have. she wants you to fuck her throat with the strap on even as she gags and retches. her thoughts have become infinitely more debaucherous the moment she decided she wanted to have sex with you. ♡ One of her favorite things to do is either wear no panties at all or wear yours and inconspicuously bend over in front of you whenever she has the opportunity to.
Aphrodisiac  - (sex while drunk/ high. do they like it? how is sex different?)
♡ alright we all know that to some extent, dazai has a substance abuse problem. that being said, having sex while under the influence is one of her favorite things ever, point blank. ♡ getting just buzzed enough that it feels like her head is in the clouds as you bring her body to cloud nine is the closest she’ll ever get to heaven, she thinks. ♡ sex is always slower, lazier but you both always collapse afterwards, trembling and moaning as your slick drips down your thighs. ♡ she’s also absolutely the type to just leave her computer open with like a billion articles about how weed enhances orgasms. ♡ most of the time, one of you will stay sober while the other is inebriated just to make sure one of you is conscious enough to know if things need to end. when she’s high, dazai gets giggly and lazy, melting like pudding in your hands as you have to manhandle her to make her do anything. she babbles the entire time, words slurring as she whines about how amazing it feels and how much she loves you and how she doesn’t deserve someone like you. ♡ (you didn’t hear it from me, but she definitely cried a few times from how gentle you would be with her)
Zones - (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?)
♡ it’s just something about your gentle touches to the small of her back, the soft kisses to her inner thigh, and the feel of your warm breath wafting over her neck that just makes her melt. that’s definitely one of your trump cards. if she’s ever particularly bratty and you wanna make her all pretty and docile, even the smallest caresses of those areas and a soft whisper asking her to be your good girl is enough to make her submit. ♡ however, if you wanna be rough with her, then digging your fingers into her waist and the back of her thighs is the way to go. even if she tried, dazai could never tell you why that certain pressure makes her gasp and writhe beneath you. holding her knees to her chest as you wreck her cunt, raking your nails against the back of her thighs, it’s enough to make her cum, even if you were only barely touching her cunt. ♡ she also for sure has a thing for both pulling hair and getting her hair pulled. she loves the way your manicured nails rake through her tousled, brown hair as she fucks her tongue in and out of you, lapping up every drop of cum you’re willing to give her.
Alone time - (how do they get off when they’re all by themselves? do they watch porn, is it all in their imagination, do they jerk off, do they use toys?)
♡ absolutely has pictures and videos of you to get off to when you aren’t around to help her get off. hell, when she gets particularly needy, even just a photo of you in a low cut, form fitting dress is enough to make her pussy ache. ♡ it wasn’t exactly a common occurrence, but dazai has watched porn before. it’s only ever when she’s desperate and she has absolutely nothing else to turn to. though usually, the shitty acting, bad scripts, weird angles, and over the top moaning is a major turn off for her. ♡ especially now that she has you, she finds porn to be extra annoying. ♡ i feel like dazai never really bothered with toys before she met you, honestly. every time she’s had sex, it was most often a one night stand initiated randomly so there was no time to get sex toys involved. and if it wasn’t just for fun, then she was sleeping with someone for a mission and at that point she just wanted that to be over with. ♡ anyway back to the actual point. ♡ it was your initial idea to being up sex toys to dazai and she promptly fell in love. ♡ she owns a multitude of vibrators. clitoral, g-spot, massagers, at least one of each type. she also got a couple dildos for you two to pick from whenever you wanted to use them. her favorite to use during alone time is one about 6.5 inches long with just the perfect curve for her. the plastic may have made her cum several times, but it’ll never replace her darling girlfriend <3
Intimacy - (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
♡ honestly, it would’ve taken a while for dazai to be willing to get genuinely intimate with you. of course, there’s always that hopeless romantic bravado she puts on for everyone to see but she was worried the moment she realized she got attached to you. ♡ the moment she got something she cherished, life would swoop in to take it away. and so she stayed away from you as much as she could. if you work as a waitress in the cafe, dazai would mysteriously never show up when you are on duty. if you’re an agent, dazai always has an excuse as to why she could never partner up with you. ♡ it’s humiliating, but she’s scared. ♡ but months passed and you insisted on seeing her and, even just for a little bit, nothing seemed to change. things have been going uphill to a certain degree ever since she joined the detective agency and she knew she couldn’t just cower away forever… ♡ so she decided to take a chance. ♡ there have been many times that when you have sex, dazai will bury her face into the junction of your shoulder and try not to cry. It’s during those soft moments where she decides to slow down and take her time in helping you fall apart. ♡ like with everything else, she flips from being silly and light-hearted to slow and serious in a moment’s notice. ♡ she’s not always super romantic and she can be clumsy when she tries, but god… ♡ she loves you so much.
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𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 ©atsulovee (2024). 𝖣𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒, 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗀𝗂𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗓𝖾, 𝗈𝗋 𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗆 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄 𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗈𝗐𝗇, please and thank you! 𝖣𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝗌! 𝖱𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 are highly appreciated :)
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tw1l1te · 9 months ago
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𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼- 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 2
Part 2!! This will include Hyrule, Four, and Legend ₍ᐢᐢ₎
Warnings: mention of scars and negative mental health
Please read with the warnings in mind, this one is heavier in terms of mental health topics.
⋆。°✩
𝕳𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖊
About 18/19, a couple years after his journey is done
Average height, his build is still toned but more on the leaner side because of height and anatomy
light freckles across his cheeks/nose and skin is tanner than the rest of the boys
Has 2 small cartilidge piercings, small silver hoops
Part fae, I know a few others headcanon him as fae too I just think it suits his character
Speaks and writes Hylian well, takes a bit longer to read though (he's trying his best)
Closer to Legend, they're the downfall duo :3, but also close to Sky
I wanna say he's like one of the last few boys to feel attraction towards Y/n. Fae bonding to humans is weird and Hyrule doesn't wanna freak you out and needs to really process it.
When he realizes he fell for you? Oh boy. Definitely more clingy and obsessive and frets over your safety, more than Sky even.
Major sweet tooth, favorite food has go to be spoonfuls of honey
Keeps a journal, lots of sketches and notes on herbs and flora and some thoughts on Y/n
Has a.... difficult relationship with Hylia/Zelda/the Goddess
Knows about some of Legend's past, not as much as Y/n though
Has a large scar on his lower stomach from Dark Link, and faded white scratches on his back from a past incident that I may or may not bring up later down the line
Do not let him near a cooking pot. Don't do it.
𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗
Our favorite smithy is about 18-19
He may be short, but don't let his height fool you. Mr. swordmaker here is built. You think all the hours hammering away at metal don't build muscle? You'd be wrong
Anywayss, I headcanon Four as having heterochromia, one eye green and the other a dark blue.
Has the lightest stubble, hardly noticeable because he shaves it everyday
Recently has also started tying up his hair in a pony tail, so he honestly looks like a younger Time from far away
Has lots of ear piercings and stacks rings on his fingers, most of which he made himself from spare parts. He made a few rings for Legend and Y/n
Develops feelings for Y/n slowly, though it hits him like a brick after the Yiga clan incident after realizing how close he was to losing you
Has a few scars on his hands and arms, a few burn marks from reckless accdients both in and out of the blacksmith shop
Has a tattoo of the Four Sword on his forearm
Ironically enough, close to Wild and Wind. He's keeping a tally of how many swords Wild has broken So far it's 46
Similar to Wild, he kinda has shaggier hair, though its only really visible when his hair is fully down without the headband
REALLY GOOD AT SHIELD SURFING FOR SOME REASON-
𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉
19, slightly older than Four and Hyrule
Average height, leaner build, and I wanna say he's on the paler side. He gets sunburned crazy fast like no amount of suscreen can save him
Pink hair, duh, but its more faded than it was when he first shifted into his rabbit form. It's more like leftover on his bangs and on part of his head.
Pinky is decked out in rings, every single finger is stacked with rings for functionality, protection, etc., but some he just thinks are neat.
Double pierced lobes, a few cartilidge piercings, maybe even a Hylian-equivalent of an industrial and has a dick piercing shh
Does not like wearing pants. no sir. Only if absolutely necessary.
Can speak/write Hylian and Lorulean pretty well, though pretty rusty on the latter because he hasn't used or read it much since his adventures
Like the 4th person to develop feelings for our protagonist, he's a little lost to be completely honest. Part of him wants to succumb to his feelings, the other is terrified of losing someone again
Close to Hyrule, Wild, and Wars ironically enough (mostly because of the bickering :D)
Keeps a scrap of Ravio's scarf in his bag, holds it sometimes.
Has a deep long scar along his forearm from a fight, some burn marks from the fire rod. He also has other scars that he doesn't show or discuss, those are difficult to talk about. He wasn't in a good place after.... everything.
Snarky and grumpy, but he softens up around people he trusts. He just needs time and love ₍ᐢᐢ₎
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666writingcafe · 6 months ago
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Jealousy?
MC
"Would you mind answering a question for me?" Barbatos asks me once we've exchanged pleasantries and settled down in the parlor.
"Depends on the question." A faint smile crosses his lips.
"I was just wondering how you could choose to associate yourself with Solomon." The irritation in his voice is rather evident, and I'm reminded of the staredown the two men engaged in a couple days ago.
"What do you have against him?" I sound a bit too defensive for my liking. I'm not trying to pick a fight with Barbatos; I simply want to know why he seems to detest the sorcerer so much.
He sighs before replying,
"Perhaps the version of Solomon that accompanied you here has cleaned up his act--and good for him if he has--but the one I know is fiendish, a blight upon the world, and destruction incarnate. He throws anyone he can under the bus if it meant avoiding trouble for himself. Being here for an extended period of time may cause your sorcerer to revert back to old habits, and I don't want to see you get hurt."
"Why? You hardly know me."
"You're right." He pauses. "I'm not sure, really. I mean, you seem like a good, honest person, but what do I know? Maybe you're just as bad as him, and I shouldn't have even bothered taking you under my wing." While coming from a practical place, his words do sting.
"And yet you did." Barbatos sighs again.
"And yet I did," he repeats, taking a sip of his tea. "The decision came from a gut feeling I had, and those rarely fail me. I just hope that you don't prove me wrong."
My turn to drink some tea.
I'm not used to Barbatos being this open about his emotions, especially while he's on duty. Perhaps time has granted him the ability to remain calm and composed when he's on the clock, but still. It'll be a bit before I get used to this particular attitude of his.
"Are you ready for your first lesson?" he asks, pulling me out of my head and back to the present moment. It takes me a second to remember exactly why I'm over at the castle today in the first place, but once I do, I quickly nod my head.
"Good. We'll start with a fairly basic anatomy topic: pheromones." Interesting place to start. Is he finally going to let me ask the question I had about Lucifer?
"In a lot of ways, demons bear a closer resemblance to animals than to humans," he continues. "While their strength in the latter is fairly minimal, the former uses them as a effective method of communication. Our pheromones can tell others what we're feeling as well as mark our territory, among other things.
"Demons have a baseline scent that's present no matter what they do. For example, I smell like mint, and Lord Diavolo like old leather. Different pheromones will bring out specific notes of the baseline scent. Positive emotions tend to make it sweeter, while negative emotions bring out its bitter and sour side. If those emotions are tied to one of the seven sins, then the scent becomes more potent, sometimes to the point of being nauseating to anyone that happens to catch a whiff.
"Am I making sense to you so far?" I nod my head. I don't have any questions yet, but I have a feeling that even if I did, Barbatos wouldn't let me ask any of them just yet.
"Now, Lucifer and his brothers have stayed in the castle for the last couple months, and in that time, I've picked up on all of their scents. Lucifer had one of the more pungent ones. Understandably so, since he's probably the most emotionally scarred from the war, but it got to the point where I couldn't be around him for longer than a few minutes. And making some of my favorite dishes proved to be impossible after a while, for even the smallest amount of nutmeg would make my stomach turn.
"But the moment you returned his credit card to him, Lucifer's scent noticeably shifted. For once, he actually smelled pleasant. And then it became stronger. By the time he left my side, I was craving a giant slice of coffee cake." At this point, he stops talking, allowing me to finally speak.
"So, you're telling me that my simple nice gesture was enough to turn him on?"
"It would appear that way, yes." Unbelievable. "If I pointed it out at the time, though, Solomon probably would have run after Lucifer to tease him about it, and that would most definitely piss Lucifer off. Plus, he would adamantly denied feeling that way at all, and given his initial behavior towards you, I didn't want to see you upset by him completely disregarding your kindness."
As I mull over Barbatos' words, I'm suddenly reminded of a specific moment. One where Lucifer had his mouth covered with a handkerchief, looking like he was about to throw up.
I wonder...
"If it's not too much trouble, would you mind telling me what I smell like?" I ask, causing Barbatos to smile.
"Not at all. In fact, I was just getting ready to ask you if you wanted to know, so this works out great." He sets his tea down on a nearby table and gets up, walking around and stopping behind the chair I'm sitting in. I momentarily feel part of his face on top of my head as he audibly sniffs. I'm sure that if someone walked past us right now, they'd be weirded out by what they saw.
Or maybe not. I don't know if intentionally smelling someone like this is standard demon behavior. Maybe it is, and I'm overthinking it.
"Vanilla buttercream frosting," Barbatos announces. Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. It at least explains a few things, if nothing else. Frosting can get overwhelmingly sweet.
"That might actually work," he mutters to himself as he sits back down.
"What would?" Barbatos finishes his tea before clasping his hands in front of him.
"There's a creature on the grounds that needs tamed. He's both ferocious and extremely dangerous, so Lord Diavolo had me put a spell on him to prevent anyone from coming into contact with him. If I told you how to undo the spell, would you like to take a stab at it?"
"What makes you think I'd be successful?"
"You don't smell threatening."
"No; I smell like a goddamn dessert. The creature will probably think I'm food and try to eat me."
"And if that's the case, I'll bail you out." He pauses. "There are creatures like this one that are very selective about who they will submit to, and I believe that you fit this particular one's criteria. Plus, you'll earn the title "Ruler of the Underworld", and you can use that as a way to get people to quit treating the brothers like shit." I find myself snorting in amusement.
"Like a mere title is going to make people change their entire ideology."
"People can think whatever they like. They just have to learn to keep some of those thoughts to themselves or else face severe consequences." The grin on his face is lowkey terrifying. I don't know if I want to be on the wrong end of that smile.
So, I end up agreeing to take on the responsibility of taming this creature.
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr
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lactosa2 · 3 months ago
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Helloo! ik i havent do sum on a long time, but im here cause i got the notf that i reached 1k of likes, and i know is little bc i used to post a lot, still im a little exited.
tcc: Omen HC, nsfw, not about sex but about how his body react to it, honestly is a pretty interesting topic for me, and finally i got with a few ideas.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
HCCC ABOUT HIS ANATOMY
Body:
I totally believe that he have a solid body under his armor, still, at using his habilities he needs it so his body doesnt get unestable at using teleport or other habilities.
If you see him in cinetamics, cards and stuff, he DOES have a body, but only its form, as muscles and a humanoid form, still, he doesnt have face mouth, the reason (i guess) is because he doesnt have human needs, as eat or breath, so the lack of this thigs doesnt afect his living (But of couse it does emotionally), and with this said, why should he have genitals?
So basically he does have a body but he doesnt have organs inside of this form, so i say he does have genitals because its part of the form of a male body, but as he doesnt have inside organs or reprodusctive sistem he doesnt have sperm. So yes, he have empty balls :c
As with the rest of his body, (going back with the starting text) he does have a solid body, so he can actually naked (yummy) but i hardly believe he would enjoy this, he is most of all a cold and restrictive person about his social relationships, so, if he EVER have intimacy is gonna be soft and really gently on this act, pure love. And he gonna have to be really confident with his lover to feel sure and safe about doing this, still, his lines and his character analisis make me hard to believe that he would like to another person to see him in such a vulnerable state, he mostly prefer to do it almost fully closed, his body gotta be a big insecurity of his.
Feel (How does sex make him feel)
Canonly (I hope is this how to say it) He can feel pain and another physical sensations, so he can actually feel pleasure. the excitement and desire are interlink with mental states, so of course he can actually feel it too.
In the moment of having sex, he would act normally, his body reacting and mind feeling dizzy due the pelasure and arrousal.
The only change would be at the moment of orgasm, a normal male orgams would bring a sperm and the danger of pregancy (In case of being heterosexual sex) Still, as i explained before he wouldnt have the danger of pregancy as he doesnt have the organs and inter sistem that the body requires for create and impulse sperm.
And for that his orgams would be purely by feeling.
This one is quite diferent of what i used to make, but i like think of canon stuff, and Omen is totally intersting. Remember that i always have the box openn for request, byeeee ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹
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strawberrystepmom · 1 year ago
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nsfw - mdni. self ship coded. kakashi is in his mid 30s, reader is in their late 20s. f!reader, mentions of female anatomy. kakashi is a virgin welcome to my ted talk. there's not full blown sex but we're talking about the lead up OKAY.
“Can…can I?”
You ask the question from atop Kakashi, straddling his hips with your thighs framing either side of his. Hands are clasped, yours and his, fingers entwined and held at his sides. A breath catches in his throat when he glances up at you, brows knit together in anxiety, his body on fire and his mind racing.
You’re so beautiful it makes his racing mind quiet for a moment, long enough that his brow unfurrows and his eyes rove over your form. He’s awed at what he finds when he truly looks at you in all your glory. Supple and soft, freckles and faded stretch marks dotting your skin but he finds they only make you irresistible. They serve as reminders that you’re a human with a life lived behind you covering your body, something he wishes he could see more of in himself. 
He’s scarred and gouged and hard, nothing in comparison to you. He has never let another soul see him like this and he’s starting to remember why, humiliation weighing him down so heavily he can hardly think despite the goddess atop him.
Despite his trepidation, his body isn’t all that is hardened though. He’s reminded of this when you wiggle your hips atop his, shifting enough that your eager cunt drags wetness along the hardened length of his cock that rests between the lips of your labia. You hum softly at the sensation, heat rising from your core to your chest and your face. 
The sweet noise, the sound of you, is what finally gets him to nod, swallowing down his uncertainty at being so exposed to you. 
“Yes you can,” he finally expresses and you bend at the waist, pressing your chests together to envelope his mouth in a kiss. He is no stranger to kissing you, the two of you having shared more than just pecks in the past, but he bristles at how much more intimate this is than anything the two of you have previously done together.
It was less intimate for him to have his tongue laving through your pretty folds than it is for him to be nude in front of you, giving you access to something he has denied anyone who was ever brave enough to try in the past. He hopes you know the power you wield and that you use it responsibly.
The worried voices in his mind fade into a murmur when your tongue swipes against his bottom lip, teeth gently nibbling to follow the motion and he groans. His hips cant and you giggle, pressing your own hips down against his to create some kind of friction that’s satisfying for both of you. The sensation makes him whimper, a noise coming from somewhere deep in his throat and you break the kiss, lifting your face so that it's hovering over his.
His lips are slick and partially open, eyes wide and full of depths of emotion and wonder you can’t quite place but you focus on making him feel good rather than the particulars, kissing down his jaw and his neck. You take liberties, gently nibbling at the skin on the front of his throat and his hips jerk again, reflexive and desperate for something. He’s no stranger to that familiar feeling, the nights when he’s longed for more than just the strong grip of his fist, imagining the way you’d feel wrapped around him, hot and wet and eager. 
Some wishes really do come true, he supposes, watching while you continue your barrage of kisses down his chest. Your fingers dance over the scars that dot his chest, no hesitation or revulsion, and he exhales deeply. 
He can relax, he’s in good hands, the sweet ones he loves to hold between his own. The hands he loves to watch write and pet the dogs and pluck flowers from your garden. He’s in the only pair of hands he ever wants to be in and his head swims, your kisses delving ever lower across his torso and leaving a hot trail in their wake. He feels each wet mark you leave on him, the trail glistening in the light.
“You okay up there?”
Resting your cheek on his chest for a moment you pause, taking the time to look at him. Shifting your position so that you can continue to work even lower across his body, he groans at the loss of your warm cunt over his cock. You respond with a gasp of your own, drinking in the sight of his sticky cock and the way it rests against his stomach naturally with gravity.
“I’m great,” and he means it. He has never been better, felt more loved, than he does under the weight of your gaze and your hands and your body. His cock jumps and you smile, sitting back on your haunches between his spread legs for a moment to truly show him how much you love to merely look at him.
He may be hardened and scarred and gouged, evidence of a life lived hard and fought for, but he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. He deserves some pleasure considering all the pain and you’re going to be sure to give it to him. It may be his first time but he deserves to have the best one a person can possibly be given.
“You are beautiful,” you mutter lowly and he chuckles nervously in response, cheeks heating with your praise. Your hands remain locked with his despite your change in position and you view him from above like one may view the world from atop a mountain - powerful and humbled all in one.
He’s your land to be discovered and you plan on mapping out every single inch of him.
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eddies-whoreee · 2 years ago
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Ambushed
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Summary: Steve hosts a pool party for the group and as the night fades away, you get ambushed in the kitchen by two horny guys.
CW: bestfriend!steddie, sexual touching, dirty talk, allusions to sex at the end. BASED IN MODERN TIMES!!
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You had just arrived with Robin, the door was already unlocked so you headed straight for the back yard where Steve and Eddie sat smoking a joint. Their heads both turn as you open the sliding door. “Hey princess” Eddie says with a goofy smile passing the joint to Steve. “Hey Eds” you peep setting plopping down next to Steve making grabbing hands for the joint which Steve immediately hands to you. “Where’s Robin?” Steve asks. “She’s raiding your super fancy fridge” you tell him taking a hit. “That’s all she comes here to do I swear” steve scoffs. “You’re rich Steve, you have to expect it” you reply. “You’re rich too! Even richer than me you have a summer house” Steve states. Making you roll your eyes. “Whatever, enough talk about this, I have some important news” you tell them passing the joint to Eddie.
“Kevin Wilson, from swim team asked me out on a date” you say. “Kevin? Creepy Kev?” Eddie asks shocked. “Stop you guys! That rumor was proven to be fake. And he’s kinda cute” you state. “His dick is small” steve tells you. “No it’s average not every guy can have a monster cock like you, Steve” you huff. “ a monster cock? Never heard that one before” he chuckles. “Okay anything above 9 and a half is consider a monster, especially if the width is above 5 inches” you inform him. “Sweetheart do you do studies in guys dicks or..” Eddie jokes. “No, it’s human anatomy and I am studying to be a nurse” you state. “And knowing I have a monster cock helps that how?” Steve asks. “Ugh, should’ve never told you that!” You groan. “Yeah because now I have an inflated ego” he smirks. “C’mon harrington like you didn’t know you had a huge dick” Eddie speaks nudging Steve shoulder. “Well yeah, but not a ‘monster’ ” he laughs. “And remind me how you know y/n?” Robin comes behind you asking. “It all started one dark and stormy night” you joke making Eddie and Robin laugh. “Who hasn’t fucked steve he’s a man whore!” Robin states. You guys all look at her, “I’m lesbian so I don’t count!!” She tells you guys. “And I am no whore!” Steve tries to argue. Eddie puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “You’re a whore, no shame though.” Eddie says with a smile. “Whatever” steve rolls his eyes. “Hey guys!” Nancy speaks walking through the door with Jonathan. You roll your eyes and stay silent.
“Someone’s jealous” Eddie whispers in your ear. You snap your head at him, “of who?” Your ask slightly offended. “Of Nancy, you’re so jealous she used to date Stevie” Eddie responds poking your side. “First off, I did too and there is nothing she has that I don’t plus more” you reply flicking his forehead with your middle finger and thumb. “Whatever I’m ready to get in the pool it’s burning up out here” you state getting up and taking off your cropped tank and flowy shorts revealing your bikini that hugged your figure perfectly. Everyone stopped their conversation to look at you. “What? This is a pool party right? Was I supposed to wear overalls?” You ask. “No, what you have on is perfectly fine” steve stutters out staring hardly at your ass. “Dog” Robin mutters at him slapping his chest. “Who needs playboy when you have y/n” Eddie jokes making you roll your eyes playfully reaching to the sunscreen. “Can someone put sunscreen on me?” You ask going to open the bottle. “Me!” Steve, Eddie, and Robin.
You giggle handing the sunscreen to Robin who sticks her tongue at the boys which they retaliate by flipping her off. You lay down on your stomach so Robin can get easy access to your body. After her rubbing sunscreen on your legs, ass, back, and shoulders. You turn around laying on your back. “Can you also do this side, I’m lazy” you ask giving her sweet smile. “Sure” she says her hands diving for you boobs making you giggle as the cold substance makes contact with your skin. Once you are all covered in sunscreen you turn to lay your towel out and see Eddie and Steve staring you down. “You two okay?” You question laying out your towel on the chair. “Yep! Perfect, I’m gonna go get a beer” Eddie states getting up and walking toward the door. “M-Me too” Steve speaks following Eddie. You shake your head playfully and slowly enter the pool since it was freezing cold to you. Once you get you your midriff and below in the water you decide you submerge the rest of your body in the water. As you pull yourself back up hands running over your hair to get the access water out. “You gonna join Nance?” Robin asks. “Maybe later I’m gonna tan” she says laying back. “Well I’m gonna join” Jonathan states taking off his shirt and tossing it to the side. “Have fun babes” Nancy says. Robin and Jonathan both cannon ball into the pool making a huge splash. You all giggle and start splashing each other.
The night goes on and you end up getting out of the pool for good around 7 or 8. Everyone had left but Robin, Steve,Eddie, and you were there. As you exit the pool retrieving your towel and wrapping it around your waist creating a little knot on the side still revealing some of your hip. “I’m gonna go get a water do you guys need anything?” You ask walking towards the door. They answer no so you go in. As you got the water bottle your phone went off so you decided to check it. As you were scrolling through social media, you didn’t even hear anyone enter the house. “Hey princess” is all you hear from close behind you making you jump and yelp. “What the fuck Eddie” you turn around ready to slap him when you are faced with Eddie and Steve towering over you. It was always intimidating when anyone taller was towering over you but two, sexy, shirtless, men. “Oh hi guys, whatcha doin’ ” you ask as your voice pitched higher showing signs of nervousness. “Nice tits” Eddie says earning a nudge from Steve. “What happened to a subtle approach” he mumbles. “What he’s trying to say is you look good and we couldn’t keep our eyes off of you” Steve says softly. “You practically have us drooling over you” Eddie states pushing his body closer to you. You were cornered in the kitchen. “So, the only logical thing to do is fuck your brains out” Steve states with smirk. “B-But what about Robin? She’s still here” you ask. “She left a couple minutes ago we told her you asked to stay the night” Eddie smiles. You blush looking down to the floor. “C’mon baby, let’s us show you how bad we want you, yeah?” Steve asks you nod obediently. “Good girl, c’mon” Eddie’s says picking you and throwing you over his shoulder making you gasp. He lands a harsh slap on your ass as does Steve making you giggle with excitement. Tonight is gonna be a fun, looooong night!
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elsewhereuniversity · 11 months ago
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I need help! What do you do if you get proposed to several times over? Diplomatically speaking, what should I do? I've met none of these suitors as far as I'm aware. I don't know why they want me in particular.
My only guess is that it might be related to the abandoned garden that I've been trimming behind the library building. It was overgrown, yet also a nice quiet place that no one else went to.
There is nothing else in my life that I can attribute to seven Fae lords, all proposing to a short little coffee gremlin that I am. Then there is the talk of heirs! Heirs!!! I don't know if the Fae understand how human anatomy works, but I wouldn't put it past them to find and/or make a way for it to happen regardless. I'm not exactly of the fairer sex, though I am still white AF because before gardening I hardly went outside at all.
Got anything to help me just disappear without inciting a war?
~Kolani
You could always set your suitors an impossible task. Those do get fulfilled with irritating regularity, but they are traditional, and at least it whittles the crowd down to the very clever or very determined.
To be honest, I don't think you have any chance at all of simply vanishing. There are too many diplomatic threads woven around you. You could either talk your way out of this - in which case, here a leather necklace that prevents miscommunication, excellent for diplomacy and romcom nonsense both. Or you could go a different route and become something undesirable, unweddable, unknowable - in which case here is a blazing black fire opal, which you should stare into until your vision blurs, and eagerly answer yes to what it wordlessly offers.
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