#i had more to say but im tired so i forgot
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feng-shui71 · 7 days ago
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More Re4 sketches ok i’m done I swear
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six-eyed-samurai · 3 months ago
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why am I so pathetic
that I am left out of the friend group in my own damn house
that I'm always the last person they think to invite (they didn't even invite me this time)
that I'm just around to help them cheat on their worksheets
that I asked them over for my birthday and they sit in my house gaming amongst each other only
that they think they can do whatever they want and just shout over my voice
that even an outsider noticed that they don't bother including me anymore
that even though no one will say it all I am is a destination to hang out
that they just come visit me to talk with each other on my own birthday
that I keep answering all their messages and agreeing to hangouts and desperately following after them hoping something will change no matter how much it just gets worse
why am I so pathetic
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solaaresque · 2 years ago
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day 874392857 of ??? where i am so fucking tired of this house and the people inside it that killing myself is looking better and better each day :/
#reze stfu#god i honestly. idk what to say#my parents aren't bad in terms of it. they're pretty good as far as parents go#but like. imso fucking tired of being expected to act and talk a certain way. yes. i am your first child#that is exactly the reason i am so fucked up!! because you didnt know how to deal with children when you had me an i was basically a...#idk. an experiment or wtv#I WISH THEY COULD UNDERSTAND THAT !!#i know there is something wrong with me. because i've been told that. to my face. repeatedly#and people wonder why my self esteem is so low :/#maybe if you didnt amke me question my fucking existance i wouldnt be this way. you ever thought of that??#just two more years . i gotta hanf on for two more years. thats all. thats all. and them im our im out of this house#maybe ill like them better when i dont see tjem everyday#god i love being deathly terrified of my own parents. sometimes i dont even think i love them. i think im just so scared of them#that ive deluded myself into thinking that i love them and theyd never do anything to hurt me#despite KNOWING that isnt true#and its worse when my sisters have to deal with the fallout like. im used to being the buffer. i can deal with that. but please please#please dont expect me to parent. dont expect me to take your place. side eyes my father#WHY am i the most responsible person in that house???#you expect me to trust you ??? after you left 2 10 year olds alone in a playground in the hot sun for 3 hours with no food no water no money#no way back home??? and you fucking forgot about them???? and i had to remind you????????#i dont know. maybe im just lashing out. maybe im just tired of being the fuckup#its hard to be proud of yourself when you end up being told that there is something about you that is not right in the head ykwim?#ugh im sorry for ranting i just. idek what set me off and now i have nail marks in my arm and my skin is raw again#and my eyes are bloodshot. so i guess. ill be crying myself to sleep again. yay#that is if i even GET to sleep. i just wasted 20 mins i couldve used to be working having a mental breakdown. fun fun#tw suicide#tw vent
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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wollfling · 2 years ago
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4 am and I can't sleep bc my joints are in so much pain 😒
#im so tired too o<-<#miss the days i could draw in bed easily at night. i share my bed now.. but would be worth trying djdndjdb#my puppy sleeps in the bed now too i really like it!#except in the morning if shes up she will dig us out of the blankets.. its cute but ridiculous dhdndh#also omg... this evening i forgot to give her dinner (so much going on w me 😞) and didnt realize until a few hours late#but like. it made me also realize that she doesnt really ask for food. i dont think she knows she can ask...?#i was like omg are you hungy ? and she was like omg yay ☺️#idk why this is a thing w me rn. like she doesnt know she can ask for dinner. babey..... ;_; ...#anyways i think i just came here to complain as usual#nothing new with me other than new art. reading more. think thats abt it..#my partner and i have been reading together before bed. he reads out loud to me#i like it a lot. were really into horror right now and looking for more !#he does voices and the whole bit and i love getting to freak out together mid chapter and stuff.#its different than while watching a tv show or movie idk.#and currently on my own im reading ag/e//ls bef/ore man. maybe 80 pages in or smthn its nice so far#what ive been REALLY wanting to read is medieval horror. surprisingly hard to find.#i asked someone who works at the bookstore and she was so like. baffled by it o<-< she was trying so hard but couldnt think of or#find anything but genuinely trying so hard i felt bad... and i tried to say it was okay but she was dedicated atp 😭#and then at the checkout she came by again like. medieval horror..... thats a tough one. and i just profusely apologized again djsbsusbshsn#so if anyone had some medieval horror they enjoy 🧍‍♂️ id love a recommendation
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I know my dads fucking great and all cause he raised me and my sister by himself for over a decade cause mom was a crack head and left, but now that we all are moving out on our own soon he's just like really selfish and clingy. My sisters noticed it too and i get that he's lonely but like I'm not going to fucking baby him forever and be his only fucking source of companionship he needs to find someone else to bother. Like I'm trying so hard to not fucking snap at him I just want him to leave me alone and I know I'm supposed to care and be happy and be nice cause we are all about to live alone most likely in different fucking states so we wont see each other again aside from holidays. But like the time we are supposed to be enjoying he's just weird. He's weird and, as my sister would say " It's triggering me". Like it just fucking sets me off. He's different IDK. I know he's high ever since weed got legalized he's been smoking all the time and I fucking hate him when he's high he's pathetic and annoying as shit. And like yea that's a really fucking mean thing to say but I AM HIS MAIN FUCKING SOCIAL SUPPORT. He comes to me with EVERYTHING. He always sounds so fucking miserable and its only ME that he vents too like that he doesn't vent like that to my sister. And if I say I don't want to he gets fucking pouty? like a fucking child? So I shut down and stare at the wall and let him say whatever nothing it is that he's saying then I leave early cause I'm holding back fucking screaming at him like I don't care shut the fuck up . I can BARELY GET OUT OF FUCKING BED MOST DAYS. FUCK YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE IM DYING I CANT HOLD YOUR BAGGAGE TOO. YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY THEN STOP USING ME AS YOUR FUCKING LIFE PRESERVER IM DROWNING.
FUCK OFF.
#The more i remeber my dad did everything “ For his kids” The more i realize it was for “ HIS” kids. ya know?#I wonder if he just liked the idea of kids#i dont want to live here anymore it sucks#He just feels so selfish these days. He only talks about himself and theres no room to say anything#Leggit i can stand there and look like im about to shoot myself in the head#and he just doesn't stop talking#but he NOTICES.#he KNOWS i dont care he FUCKING SEES IT#I hate that even more#like he doesn't value what I want to do with my time at all#I've heard the same shit for 5 fucking years he just repeats himself im fucking tired of it#I was always pretending to listen cause i didn't really care all that much but not its getting to the point im just so fucking angry man.#He took off an extra day each week to “Help me with moving”#He gets high all day and does nothing and when i go to him hes like “ oh yea i forgot” or “ oh i did things for me today”#Don't fucking act like your taking off for me if it's just an extra day for you cause your tired#If your tired thats fucking fine but how fucking DARE you use me as the reason why your taking off.#Your just getting high you fucking addict#and i leggit spend all monday WAITING for his ass cause im like " well he said im basicly owned by him for this whole fucking day so i have#“To literally be at his beckon call all day otherwise he will be like ” but I said Mondays are for uss :////“ Fuck you fuck you fuck you fu#Now i only have one day where i get time alone and im so fucking angry i NEED time alone like i loose my MIND if i dont#Im going to fucking kill someone i stg#“Mondays are for us” Yea bitch and where on the contract did i sign? Like i had no say in this I NEVER do i just sit there and take it#you would never really listen anyway#god this is where i got it from#i got it from him#and mother#Am i evil?#having a really fucking bad day i guess man like shit#im gona play videogames about it felt nice to vent tho omg
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aroaceofthesea · 4 months ago
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Istg one of these days i will forget how to read actual notes
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thebuttsmcgee · 9 months ago
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so. um. 👉👈
hi guysies.
Ig I should just say like. Hi
I haven't been posting here as much cause. Idk. Might be depression? I keep thinking its cause I've been so busy, which also wouldn't be not untrue, but these past, like, 3 weeks I think so far? I've had some free time but I haven't cause. I dunno, then again, I haven't been doing too much in general? I gues, besides very mandatory things, hell I've even been lacking in my regular skyrim hours of playing.
That, and as said, I get super melancholic when I remember just how sad and bittersweet it is that t0h is. Actually legit over. The show and experience, that is.
Oh all that and also becuz my headphones broke! Fuck! That's like number 2 in my bare necessities for when I post, do almost anything really! It's seriously been painful this past month going without headphones holy shit. Dude I've been scratching at the bit for some relief for headphones, I NEED music legitimately. Even right now, as I'm typing this on my phone, my music is on low levels.
But yerp. Its been. Rough. Really rough. I really do appreciate yall, everyone of yall. Have a sweet week everyone, ✌️!
#the butts chronicles#ogh but yea. been rough.#as said I have no idea if we'll keep this house cause man shits been fucked#uhhhh. lets see. recently my sister got into a fairly nasty argument with her husband since they were both drunk and hes a bit of a. hm#quick to being mad guy? I spose? but yea they made up and he actually apologized to me and my family for that so. its okay?#OH YEA FUCK LOL a few weeks ago fuckin tecksas got hit nasty with a hurricane and GUYS. I FREAKED OUT SO BAD LOL#cuz there was hail with the rain but since. I dont think we even ever experienced hail here I was scared that my ceiling roof broke again#and that it was the rain leaking to my room ceiling and was about to burst my ceiling so I legit started hyperventilating and panicking#with like. short and heavy breathing and almost crying badly until I went to look outside and saw hail and only slightly calmed down#oh but yea it was nasty lol. then the next day almost the entire block lost power and apparently sparks were happening cause fallen trees#uhhh. lets see. hmmm. OH OH RIGHT DAMN I FORGOT WE GOT A PUPPY LOL#we've gotten a lil pup all the way back from dec? iirc and she is now older and a shit lol shes in her teething phase and whatnot#still p cute tho and very puppyish. oh yea also during dec our power went out and ogh man dec was so freezing literally.#almost as bad as the one from. uhhh I cant remember the exact year but I remember it being within these past 4 years at least cause I read#a t0h fic during it lol. oh yea speaking of. we also changed our light company and damn. its been not bad so far! we had to pay up to 300#in our old company and now we dont even get to 200 so far! hope Im not jinxing it! hmm oh did I already say before that I had to get a new#phone? cause I did and I did not enjoy it lol. had it for a while and now and its arguably worse cause no damn headphone plug-in#I think I did mention this but in case. I did finish counseling. well more accurately they required payments again since things and whatnot.#I think? I mentioned the stuff I got for my bday and chmisas. I got mostly neat stuff. I guess. one of them has still yet to arrive lol#uhhhh. hrm. I did get Mr. Martinet's autograph as a present! hrmmm#my other sister got another surgery a while back and its been relatively the same since. hmm. my only other living grandparent passed away#me and my ex got into a. not great argument cause mistakes and whatnot. raccoons in the attic thats hopefully taken care of for now#aaaaand the plushes I ordered a damn near year ago have been technically canceled cause of unfortunate circumstances for the creator#who just kinda. posts things now lol ig.#but yea. lots. holy shit guys. lots has happened. fuck man. I think Ive been way more tired than I thought.#not to mention the past weeks of just. reflecting. man#uhhh#long post#LOL i gues#but yerp.
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silhouettecrow · 1 year ago
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 304
Adjective: Delicious
Noun: Scream
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Delicious: highly pleasant to the taste; delightful
Scream: a long, loud, piercing cry expressing extreme emotion or pain; a high-pitched cry made by an animal; a loud, piercing sound; (informal) an irresistibly funny person, thing, or situation
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sturniqlo · 3 months ago
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I CANT DO IT ALONE- CHRIS STURN
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summary: while mom!y/n stays home with their littles all day, chris doesn't see how tired she is and he puts more pressure on her. BLURB
cw: cursing, ANGST; arguing, crying, exhaustion, FLUFF; kissing, comforting, resolved angst
an: not apart of my positive series | lowkey hate this | lowercase intended
masterlist | join my taglist
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"daddy!" the littlest child, leslie, runs to the front door when she hears the door opening. "hey, les! how's my little girl?" chris smiles and locks the door behind him before kneeling down to pick up his daughter. "so so happy that you are home!" she squeals, wrapping his arms around his neck tightly. "yeah, i'm happy to be home too." he kisses her cheek.
"where are your siblings?" he refers to his five year old set of twins and his ten month old baby. "uhm- landon is watching a movie, lia is playing in our playroom and layla is sleeping." she says as chris walks them, and steps over some toys, towards the kitchen where he hears y/n shuffling around. "why don't you go get lia while i say hi to mommy." he puts her back on the floor.
"okay!" she nods, her pigtails swaying in the process. "lia! daddy is home!" the three year old goes up the stairs. chris enters the kitchen and sees his y/n preparing the twins' lunch for tomorrow. "hey, baby." he wraps his arms around her waist from behind. "oh, hey you're home." she turns her head and smiles softly at him. a tiredness in her eyes that chris doesn't seem to notice. "how was your day today?" she asks, going back to making the lunches.
"tiring," y/n almost a scoffs. "i had three meetings for future drops and filmed a video with nick and matt." he kisses her neck. "oh, well, i'm glad you're home now." she closes up the small containers. "hey, is it okay if-" she gets cut off by she yelling of leslie. "mom! lia won't give me the princess pjs!" she stomps into the kitchen. "these are mine!" lia comes in behind her, wearing the pink princess pajamas.
"leslie, you have the same exact ones in your closet." y/n says, opening the fridges and putting the lunches away. "no i don't! mine are dirty!" her lip quivers. "you didn't do the laundry today?" chris says, leaning against the island counter. "no, i had to go grocery shopping, clean the kitchen, our bathrooms, and i just washed everyone's bed sheets." she says, the girls still arguing.
"i'm sure you still had some extra time to do a load or two." he adds on. "no, chris. i had to take care of layla, she's still sick." she sighs, cleaning up a spill of juice from earlier. "hey, mom. can i stay up late and watch toy story 2?" landon comes in. "no landon, you have preschool tomorrow." y/n says for the third time today, he had asked her that earlier. "dad?" landon looks to chris. "of course you can, bud." he ruffles the boys' hair. "you're the best! see mom, dad lets me."
"chris, he has to wake up early tomorrow, he can't stay up late. it's almost time for bed." she looks at chris. "c'mon, just for today." y/n shakes her head. "no. kids, go brush your teeth." chris rolls his eyes at her stubbornness. "why are you being so strict?" he asks. "im not." she practically laughs. "just let landon stay up, tomorrow is friday anyway."
"exactly, he can stay up late tomorrow." she leaves the kitchen and chris follows. she walks into laylas bedroom and checks in on her. she had gotten sick two days ago. "oh my gosh!" chris whispers. "what?" she says. "i forgot to get the medicine for her yesterday." y/n shakes her head. "it's okay, i bought it today." y/n grabs a tissue from the changing table and cleans the snot from layla. "i'm sorry." he says. "it's okay, it happened already." she throws the tissue away and exits the room.
"did i do something? why are you mad." chris continues to follow her back downstairs. "stop it, chris!" she abruptly stops and turns to face him. chris stands there in shock at her sudden outburst. "just stop! i've had the most tiring days- weeks of my life! and you're here saying that you've had a tiring day all because of three meetings and filming video?"
before chris could say anything back, one of the kids upstairs called for y/n. "mom! she spit on me!" y/n sighed and turned back around going back up the stairs to resolve whatever was going on. chris decided to go back into the kitchen and look for the dinner y/n had mentioned earlier.
chris ate dinner alone while y/n was upstairs putting the kids to sleep. he cleaned his used dishes before going upstairs to his bedroom. "wanna tell me what that was all about?" he said when he saw y/n putting on the bedsheets she had washed. "lia had spat on landon." she said. chris shook his head. "not that, i'm talking about what you had said earlier." he walked closer and picked up a pillow along with a clean pillow cover.
"i don't want to talk about it." she mumbled, going back to putting on the bedsheet. "why not, there's clearly something bothering you." he pushes on. "you want to know what's bothering me chris?" she pauses. "i feel like i'm raising these kids all by myself. you're never home! you leave before the twins wake up for school, and you don't return until they're going to bed! on the weekends it's the same!"
"i'm working, you know that." chris says sternly. "i understand that, chris. but does it hurt to take at least one day off? just one day to spend time with them? just one weekend?" she runs a hand though her hair, frustrated. "do you not understand that i'm working my ass off for us! for our kids! for their futures!"
"i know that chris, but you have the privilege to choose to work from home- to stay home and you don't use it!" chris rolls his eyes. "you have the most easiest job in the world, you just watch the kids play, feed them and change laylas diapers!" he raises his voice.
"you're kidding right?!" she scoffs. "you think taking care of four kids alone is easy? i make them breakfast, i take the twins to school, i have to buckle all four of them in the car even with two of them are crying, i have to give a toddler and a baby my attention at the same time, i teach les basic things, i have to clean the whole house, i do the laundry, i cook, i take the trash out, i change diapers, i pick the twins up from school, i help the twins with their homework, i shower all four, i get them ready for bed, i break up arguments, i deal with their tantrums. im tired chris. i have no time for myself."
"i love those kids with all of my heart, but you promised me, chris. you promised me that we would raise them together! it seems like i'm raising them all by myself. and i understand that you're providing financially for us- for them, but i need your help in a non-financial way." she feels tears racing down her face. she didn't even know she was crying.
"y/n.." chris had never realized she was feeling like this. he felt bad, he hated that he never saw this. she was right, he was always there, but never there. he doesn't remember the last time he actually sat down with his children and played with them. "i- i don't know if you actually care about what i just said, but ive kept it in for so long i thought i'd let you know how i feel." with that, she turns around and walks to their bathroom and shuts the door.
chris sighs and runs a hand through his hair, taking it all in. "mom!" he hears one of his kids yell for their mom. without hesitation, he sits up and goes to who was yelling. "layla? you okay?" he sees that her door was the only one cracked open. "daddy?" she whispers. "it's me, why're you crying, sweetheart?" he takes a seat on her small bed when he sees her cheeks are damp with tears. "i- why are you and mommy yelling at each other?"
chris' heart breaks when he hears that his daughter heard them arguing. "we just- we had a little argument- just like you and your siblings have sometimes. but, everything is okay. i promise." the little girl smiles at the reassurance. "oh, okay."
"would you like me to take you and your brother to school tomorrow?" he says after he had been laying with her for sometime. "really?" she gasps. "of course!" he says. "will we pass for donuts? mommy always takes us every friday to get donuts for breakfast." she plays with the hem of his shirt. "we can, does mommy get a donut for herself?" she nods. "mhm, she likes the strawberry sprinkles, she told us you bought one for her on her birthday a long time ago." chris laughs at the exaggeration. "wasn't that long ago, just seven years ago."
chris recalls the time when they had just started dating, it was her birthday and he bought her a strawberry frosted donut with sprinkles and stuck a candle on it. "that's so far ago." she giggles.
he had stayed with her until she fell back asleep again. quietly, he exited the room and gently shut the door behind him. chris headed back to his bedroom where the soft glow of the lamp lit up the room. "babe, are you sleeping?" he says, closing the door and walks over to the bed where y/n is currently laying down. "no." she says and sits up on her shoulder. her hair a bit damp, chris knew she never liked to fully dry her hair with the blow dryer. "can we talk? i don't want to argue, i hate arguing." he tosses his shoes off and situates himself next to her.
"okay." she grabs her glasses off of the side table since she doesn't have her contacts in. they sit in silence for a bit until chris decides to talk first. "'m sorry you've been feeling this way. and- and i cant believe i didn't take notice. i mean everything was right in front of me. i'm never home, you're always alone with the kids, you're constantly tired. i- i'm so sorry, babe. i never meant to make you feel like this- to put you through this."
"it's- it's okay chris. i know you've been so busy with the new drop and everything. but, i just want to let you now that i'm not asking you to drop everything and stay home with us forever, just asking you to take a few days off during the week. i miss you, the kids miss you." chris wraps his arm around y/n and pulls her into his chest.
"'m sorry, 'm so sorry. i'll stay home until wednesday, when i have to film, how's that sound, hm?" he presses a kiss to her forehead. "really?" she looks up at him. "of course, anything for you." he says and lays them both down. "chris!" she squeals.
"let me love on my wife!" he kisses her neck up to her lips. "how about i take you out on saturday night? we take the kids to matt and nicks house. and we go to a nice restaurant and come back here for the night?" he pecks her lips. "i would love that." she hums, kissing him back. they lie together on the bed for a while until y/n speaks up.
"as much as i love being like this, you know i hate outside clothes on the bed." she tugs on his shirt. "i knew i couldn't get away with it." he sighs and kisses her lips before getting up. "i'll be in the shower, choose a movie for when i get out."
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pjackk · 1 year ago
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Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away
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Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋
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k0mmari · 1 month ago
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SYSTEM! SHEN YUAN PT.3
Too tired to do my obligations, but too stressed out to sleep, so here we find ourselves again.
This, once again, got horribly long- so long, in fact, I think this is the longest post in this 'trilogy'-, so I apologize in advance (╥ᆺ╥;) I also apologize for the lack of doodles, but dont worry! Im preparing a special one for later <33
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After that night where SY offered Binghe an umbrella, things have certainly… changed. Unlike before, where SY spent most of his time mapping away at the ridiculously complex castle hallways and carefully marking away which times it was most likely for SY to be able to get close to Xin Mo, alongside doing his ‘servant’ duties of gathering dirty laundry and cleaning a room here and there, his routine had been suddenly adjusted; now, while he still needed to do everything he was doing before, his servant duties consisted of accompanying the chosen Wife Of The Day.
Or, well, that’s how one of the higher ranking staff had put it, that he was to attend to whatever wife Lord Luo decided to entertain for the day, but honestly, SY was starting to suspect that that had been a convoluted way for Binghe to have SY around whenever he wanted, which…. Was frankly quite worrying! To have the golden protagonist keep his eyes glued on his back almost every second they were in the same room, which - if SY looked back- usually led to Binghe looking away in a (bad) attempt to pretend he wasn’t glaring daggers at SY was more than enough for SY to think the Emperor was probably plotting his demise.
What else could it be? Specially with the way Binghe’s hand seemed to always be lightly tugging at the tassel on his hair every time SY caught him looking, he suspects Binghe had caught onto SY not actually being a servant, and instead that weird guy he saw before he fell into hell that one time. What if Binghe thought SY was somehow involved into the Abyss Incident?? Lord Luo, please have mercy on this servant!
Though, maybe the strangest part of it all, was that sometimes Binghe and SY would just… talk. Usually when the Wife Of The Day was doing something else (e.g. playing music for her husband, or practicing archery, or doing anything that didn’t involve LBH 100% at her side), Binghe would just start musing out loud about the strangest things. It started with questions that were all fair to ask, like ‘How come this servant is a human in the demon realm’, or ‘How come this servant has such short hair’ (SY bullshitted something about being a former slave) but eventually it shifted to questions that were a bit more… random. Or, well, not even questions, musings that Binghe muttered out loud but clearly wanted SY’s input.
It started with minimal things, like Binghe wondering about some type of monster he wanted to fight but he forgot how to do it without damaging the fur too much, which, after a minute of silence and a not-so-subtle look at SY, led to SY nerding out and saying not only the monsters weakness, but what could be done with every important part of the body. Though, the day after that SY realized how strange it was that Binghe was wondering that out loud, since he only fought that monster well into his time as an Emperor, and he swore he remembered one of the wives gushing about her new bracelet that was made from the rare bones of that creature just a few days ago…
Anyways, it continued with questions of similar nature: musings on how to kill a monster Binghe would have no problem killing, to what he should eat for dinner, to what gift should he get for Wife Of The Day. Of course, SY answered all the ‘questions’, and sometimes they even made it to having an actual conversation! Sure, it was a little stilted, SY could not figure out for the life of him why the great Lord Luo was interacting with a random servant, but one day it all finally clicked to him. Binghe had been in the middle of ‘musing’ about hair oils(??), when SY couldn’t help but interrupt him:
“Ah…. Apologies if this lowly servant is overstepping, My Lord, but does My Lord just want someone to talk to?”
A few emotions flashed through Binghe's face quickly enough for SY to not be able to decifer any of them, but eventually landing on a sheepish smile. "This Lord has been found out."
Oh, how cute! And how sad! SY had noticed when SQH was just showing him his shitty story how sad that LBH, even after getting the world to bow at his feet, never really had friendships. Sure, he still had all the love he could want, but sometimes people need friends to talk to, not lovers!
While he knew that he shouldn't interact with characters in world overlooked by the System unless they were transmigrators, SY couldn't help but feel that the situation was dire enough that LBH would turn to a no-name servant in this time of desperation. And it would be a great opportunity to study Xin Mo more closely as well! If SY showed LBH the wonders of friendship, maybe he could pass by his supervisor that he only had to do what was necessary for this world to not implode on itself.
Besides, who could even say no to such a handsome man such as LBH? Is as the old saying goes: what the protagonist wants, he shall have.
*
SY's friendship plan has been going great! After figuring out Binghe's intentions, it seems all of the protagonists reservations flew out the window, and SY was now responsible for being Binghe's personal retainer. Not that that meant too much, since Binghe liked to bend the rules to his liking, and some tasks that should be SY's responsability sometimes were pushed to another servant or Binghe himself made them (which, ???)
Mostly, SY stood at Binghe's side, served tea, was used so Binghe could bounce ideas off of someone, and tended to finer details. All of that very much manageable, if not for the weird mood swings LBH would have sometimes. Yuan, as he has told Binghe was his name after being too scared of the repercutions of using 'Shen', was to accompany him all the time, but sometimes not all the time, or else LBH would get moody; Yuan was to listen to LBH's ideas and plans, and should always comment back or else Binghe would feel neglected, but not too much or else, as LBH had put it, could 'bring back bad memories'; Yuan was to tend to LBH's night routine, even as far as to brush his hair, and if he refused LBH (again) get all moody, but he couldn't brush too much, and he had to do at least one braid but NEVER touch the old, frizzy braid that still had that damn tassle-
Honestly, it was a careful game of balance, which reminded SY more often than not of a child that got mad when their older sibling didn't quite understand the redundant rules they made for a make-believe. Any other person would get fed up, and probably scared of Binghe's constant mood swings, but SY had him all figured out, and his resilience proved to be useful time and time again, since most of the time after his sour mood passed, Binghe would come crawling back with the most pitiful face ever, and what was SY to do? As LBH's friend, it was his duty to hug him and pat his head! (And no one could judge him for that, since if he didn't pat Binghe's head, his mood would plummet all over again.)
Though... SY did feel kind of bad. He wouldn't be able to stay with Binghe forever, and would even need to potentially steal his all-powerful sword for a little bit so everything wouldn't get corrupted. Honestly, the only thing keeping SY from worrying about being labled as a traitor and potentially getting killed was that he would just go back to the System's office and go on with his life.
*
LBH, eventually, caught onto SY's plan on leaving - really, it was only a matter of time. After that fateful encounter with that other SQQ, LBH had found himself in rather pitiful state, questioning everything he knew until that moment and wondering why he couldn't achieve that happiness, and desperately trying to search for a SQQ of his own. He had contemplated going back to that first world, but what would it even matter? Even if he took SQQ by force, his heart would still be with that other LBH, and Binghe couldn't bear the thought that he wouldn't be everything in SQQ's world, as he had become for LBH.
Specially after Meng Mo had one day interupted his carefully crafted dream of an idelic world and pointed out some curious memories he'd almost forgotten about. That day, when back in his childhood, when he'd been beaten up by a buch of older kids and hallucinated a man in strange clothes before passing out and waking up protected from the rain. Or when he thought he'd lost his jade pendant forever, only to magically appear in the cabin later.
Or the strange man in the Immortal Alliance Conference.
After SQQ- SJ , that good-for-nothing scum- pushed him to the Abyss, he tried his best to never think about that day again, too scared by how weak he'd been, pleading to man that would sell his soul for one more night at that brothel of his if he could, but now... Now that he could mold his dreamscape any way he wanted, he could look back with a clear mind, which eventually led to the conclusion: It must have been the same person. The same strangely dressed man that helped him in his childhood somehow appeared at the Immortal Alliance again, and even had left provisions right next to where Binghe had fallen.
He'd convinced himself, after many, many years of wishing for a miracle, that he's simply imagined the man, one last thread to keep himself from going insane, but after meeting the other SQQ...
And then Yuan came in. A new servant that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
It took some observation, and a lot preparing himself to face dissapointment that maybe he was just projecting, putting the image of someone else onto a random man, but that day, when LBH was wondering if he was just wasting time, that that beautiful dream of having his version of SQQ would not happen any time in this world, that maybe he really should just go look at other worlds; after all, if it happened once, it had to happen again, right? Not that it mattered in the end, since while he spireled, much to Xin Mo's pleasure, an umbrella was put over his head, and all his doubts had washed away.
Yuan had to be his version of SQQ, it had to be. And after all his effort of getting close to him, after going so far to keep Yuan at his side, even if he still battled with that his perception of SJ and the other SQQ sometimes overlapping with Yuan's image, even if he still wasn't ready to let go of that one braid, he was becoming more and more sure in his assumption that his SQQ had come to him. Everything was going as planned, and LBH was in track to finally begin to properly court him, and yet-
He was sure Yuan wanted to leave. He wasn't sure why, not how he would do that, maybe just dissapear like he had all those years ago and either only appear again 5, 10, 100 years in the future or go back to wherever he came from in the first place. But LBH knew Yuan wanted to leave, that he needed to complete whatever mission he had (after LBH managed to pry that out of his dreams, which where another source of confusion, with how absurdly difficult they were to even get a grasp of), and that, under any circumstances, he could let Yuan escape his sight.
Not again. Never again.
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Binghe had become even stickier in the last few weeks. Not that SY minded, it was very cute to see such a different side from the cool, badass Lord Luo, but SY was running out of time. Since Binghe became stickier, his mood swings had worsened even more, now not wanting SY to be anywhere that Binghe wasn't, and Xin Mo seemed to be thriving off of whatever was making Binghe extra protective, though it was becoming a genuine problem now, since Binghe suddenly refused to see any of his wive's to deal with the Xin Mo problem, and he seemed to be on the verge of qi deviation at all times.
In fact, the only reason Binghe hadn't already qi deviated was because SY was abusing his Personal System and chipping away at the qi deviation in Binghe's night routine, since it was the only time where he was physically very close to Binghe and could spend long periods of time manually coding away at the System screen without it looking suspicious.
But, as if that wasn't enough of a problem, since Xin Mo was having the time of it's life recently, the virus clinging to the sword was also getting stronger, leaving even more residuals all along the castle and bordering on infecting Binghe himself.
His Scissors where thankfully, repaired, and his sweet, sweet manager was even kind enough to send him some extra energy supplies, but at the rate the virus was spreading, he was worrying that he would have to deal with the source as soon as possible or else it would become to strong to deal with it in a non-destructive way.
He... Didn't want to leave Binghe just yet, specially since he wanted SY's attention more than ever recently, but...
No, he needed to do this; their time together was never supposed to be eternal anyways, and if he let the virus spread, he would only be putting LBH's life in danger, and he couldn't continue living with himself after that. He decided he would fix the virus at night, while Binghe slept, and by the next morning he would be gone - he would have, after all, just enough energy to go back to the office.
He just hoped Binghe would be able to forgive him later.
When night came, and SY got to doing the usual night preparations, it just felt like an extra needle being stabbed in his heart when, while brushing Binghe's hair, Binghe looks back uncharacteristicly anxious, and asks if SY can undo the braid and remake it. SY does, and if Binghe notices SY takes extra long to pamper him that night, he says nothing.
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When SY is sure Binghe is asleep, he sneaks out of his room and heads to back to Binghe's. Yeah, maybe he stalls a bit with snipping off every piece of the residual virus he came across, but one could argue he was just being extra thorough with his job.
The excuse, unfortunately, didn't last long and eventually he found himself in front of Binghe's room, staring at the door as if he was about to be sentenced to death. After a few minutes of reminding himself that he needed to do this, he took a deep breath and slowly opened the doors. Binghe usually slept with the sword perched right beside his bed, so SY would probably have to use the System and put Binghe in an extra deep sleep if he wanted to make sure the other didn't wake-
The moment he places a foot inside, though, he realizes something is wrong; the room is empty, Binghe is not asleep in his bed and Xin Mo is not besides the bed. Oh, oh no, had Binghe-
"A-Yuan." Binghe says, and SY nearly jumps as he turns around. There LBH stands in the middle of the hallway, not even in his sleeping robes, with a hand clutched tightly on Xin Mo's handle. His eyes are watery but no tears spill.
SY tries to speak but finds he doesn't even know what to say, he can't even try to deny that he's up to something, since his gigantic Scissors are just out an about. Still, he tries to make Binghe understand, say that he needs to do this, and after this Binghe won't have to worry about anything anymore. Though it barely seems like Binghe is listening, and eventually just cuts in when SY starts to say anything in his panic.
"This is what A-Yuan wants, right?" He asks, extending one arm and presenting the glitched out Xin Mo. SY doesn't even have the chance to find an excuse, as Binghe immediately continues. "Than take it."
"Wh- Huh?" "Take it."
He's so shocked he almost drops his Scissors. What does he mean 'take it'??? Binghe has to know everything that's at stake here! He doesn't even know what SY wants to do with it! He tries to say that, how Binghe shouldn't just hand the sword to anyone like that, but a sudden burst of energy set his priorities straight. Shit- The virus! It's growing by the second, at this point SY will have to cut Xin Mo-
"...Binghe, I-" "I don't care what A-Yuan wants with Xin Mo! Take it, use it, break it if you want, I don't care! But if A-Yuan takes it, than he will have to stay." "Binghe, that's not..." "Why not?! That's your goal, right? Do whatever it is that you want to do with Xin Mo? Than here you go, A-Yuan can do it, but I won't let you leave me again."
SY can't even mask when his eyes dart towards the tassle on Binghe's new braid. Binghe just clenched his jaw, but it feels like confirmation enough.
He adjusts his grip on the Scissors, and, as he has nothing else to hide, dispels the System's illusion, his simple clothes glitching out to reveal the System's uniform. Binghe's eyes fill even more with tears, but none fall."
"I... I'll have to go back, Binghe." "No." "Binghe, listen to me, I-" "No. No! A-Yuan will get Xin Mo, and then he will stay." "I-" "You will stay! I can't-" Binghe can't even finish his sentence before he has to choke out a sob.
The virus starts warping the air around it, and slowly crawling up Binghe's arm. SY's decision has practically been made for him. He lifts the Scissors. Binghe pushes Xin Mo forward.
"...I'll come back." "A-Yuan-" "I'll come back, Binghe." One single tear falls and his arm jerks, not knowing if he trusts SY's words or not. He still his arm as the Scissor blades encircle Xin Mo.
"A-Yuan..." "I'll come back, I promise." "..." "I promise."
"......Okay."
Shen Yuan cuts Xin Mo.
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tiredsadpeach · 2 years ago
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I’m so lost lol
#my friends are mad at me and I don’t fully know why#so tw weight and slight ed mention#so friend A tweeted about how he gained 10 pounds because of depressed binge eating and his psychiatrist prescribed him meds to prevent it#and he felt really weird about it so I replied and was like yeah it does feel kinda weird especially if they didn’t ask/know about his past#relationship with food because that could be very mentally damaging and in the first reply I didn’t include anything calling him fat or#saying that gaining weight was bad or anything like that I just asked if the psychiatrist knew his past relationship with food and he said#yes but they might’ve forgotten and like okay but imo a psychiatrist should be more careful and I believe in questioning the people on charg#of our health yknow? everything seemed fine and then suddenly his boyfriend who is also my friend we’ll call her friend B replies to me and#was just very aggressive implied that I was saying friend A was fat and that gaining weight is bad and acting like I didn’t know binge eatin#is dangerous and because she was aggressive my reply was aggressive and I solidified my point about how the medication could be abused enjoy#but reiterated that I don’t think friend A would do that and that psychiatrists shouldn’t just immediately prescribe something that could#worsen someone’s mental health and I forgot to add in that reply that like you should work through alternatives first before just prescribin#something like that to someone who has an ed like that’s dangerous idc who you think you are and tbh that psychiatrist doesn’t know friend A#as well as us especially friend B because they’re dating so I was kinda just baffled that she was mad at me like what had I done??#and then all she said was that any and all medication could be abused so I just said okay sorry because like obviously you’re not really#seeing my point and I was also at work so I did not have the energy for this and so I tweeted clarifying things and feeling angry and#confused like I never said anything in an attempt to hurt my friends and of course I know that doesn’t mean they weren’t hurt but as far as#I know I never hurt friend A’s feelings so idk why his bf came at me so aggressively and THEN friend B starts subtweeting about me saying#imagine not knowing anything about anything which of course hurt lmao like thanks I only see you as my best friend and you are my fp so I#was irritated and just tweeted im tired of this and logged out for a while but I got curious and looked and in response friend B tweeted#I don’t coddle 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ and so I made a tweet about not knowing wtf I truly did wrong and how my opinion makes me stupid and ended with ju#me since you don’t coddle because tbh I was just pissed like why is me not trusting a psychiatrist turning into this big fucking thing AND#THEN friend A tweets about how subtweeting is immature and it’s better to just apologize and don’t get defensive and I just 😐 so because#that’s how we’re communicating lmao I tweeted about how can I apologize if idk wtf I even did and why am I in trouble for subtweeting when#friend B did the exact same thing!!!!! this whole thing is driving me insane tbh and I’m so so tired of how whenever me and friend B get#in an argument or fight she starts subtweeting/posting about me and honestly has said some things that I still haven’t recovered from lmao#within a week I have been a punching bag for two people I thought loved and cared about me and I just don’t fucking know what to do! l#liek if I had hurt friend A’s feelings please just TELL ME instead of getting all passive aggressive because idk you think you know more#which idk maybe you do but I’m just echoing that I also found it weird! just liek your bf did!! but no I guess when I voice that I’m just#wrong and bad like okay great and now you’re not talking to me and you’ve turned your bf against me so I’m gonna lose two friends most liekl
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st44rgirlxo · 5 months ago
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Even pro heros like Dynamight forget important dates.
"hey babe don't forget our reservation tonight!"
"yeah yeah ok got to go" on the phone, katsuki rushes out the door to get to work.
you were really looking forward to this date tonight. It feels like its been forever since you and katsuki have spent actual quality time together. he comes home from work really late so by the time he's home you end up falling asleep waiting for him.
7:00pm comes around and you're finished getting ready. You're wearing a long black bodycon dress with matching black heels.
The restaurant was a 5 star restaurant and had very good reviews. You were excited to post pictures of you and katsuki looking cute.
You grab your purse and car keys and get in your car. Before you leave you shoot katsuki a quick text letting him know your leaving.
"hii kats im abt to leave. are you there?"
Once you arrive you park your car keeping an eye out for katsukis car.
you check your phone for any texts from katsuki
none
you text him again to let him know you arrived
“hey im here are you?”
you go in anyway, making sure you were in time for your reservation.
you get seated and you pull out your phone to call katsuki
the call goes to voicemail.
“fuck”
30 minutes go by and it’s completely dark outside your annoyed, stressed and just want to go home.
“ma’am will you be ordering anything” the waitress pulls out her writing pad
“uh yeah i guess so, but can i get it to go”
the waitress takes your order and eventually it comes to your table.
you take the takeout box and leave the restaurant. as you get in your car, you sigh and lay your head back
how could katsuki forget? this was literally the only date you’ve planned in a while and he forgot!?
as your pull up in your driveway you don’t see katsukis car
“what the hell, where is he”
you get inside and take off your heels
your tired of katsuki always forgetting this always happens
why does he do this?
you sit down at the kitchen table opening your takeout as you start to eat you hear katsukis car pull up.
the front door opens as katsuki walks in.
you don’t even look at him.
“hey babe”
you say nothing
“hey you good”
“where were you katsuki”
“I went out with the guys from some drinks after work”
he sees your dress and the takeout
“wait was our date tonight??”
“yes katsuki i told you this morning, but clearly work and your friends are more important”
you didn’t even have the energy to be mad
“do you know how much I was looking forward to spending quality time with my boyfriend? You never have time for me but you don’t think twice when you get asked to do something else”
tears were pouring down you face as your spoke softy but firmly
katsuki hated seeing you cry but he hated himself most for making you cry
“y/n I’m sorry”
“no katsuki, im tired of being 2 or even 3rd in line. do you know how draining that is?”
you turn around leaving katsuki alone with his thoughts
he fucked up
request r openn🔥🔥
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orihimeii · 1 year ago
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call it what you want - gojo satoru
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being married for 2 years with the strongest still feels surreal every time the both of you celebrate your anniversary.
a/n: this was inspired by taylor swift's song "call it what you want." i always imagine gojo whenever i listen to that song. god i love him. reblogs are greatly appreciated.
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"gojo is so in love with you" shoko nudges you, your attention diverting to the man who was walking towards you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
"yeah" you say, heart fluttering while staring at him and you can see him smiling at you from his direction, "i love him too."
"why did you choose that dumbass?" shoko asks.
you chuckle at her question.
"there's a lot of reasons, but" you pause, "-one thing im sure is that, every little thought in my head that troubles me fade to nothing when i look at him."
shoko looks at you amused, smiling too. "i'd kill for that kind of love."
a tall figure towered over you and you smile.
"what are you doing here mister?" you crossed your arms as you playfully roll you eyes at gojo who was standing now in front of you.
his eyebrow shot up, "who are you calling mister?" he questions as his hand took yours to kiss it, giving you the flowers after. he dressed up today, wearing an all black outfit, he was always too good looking.
"wow im not even here" shoko announced as she walks away leaving the both of you. gojo pulled you closer to him and he was smirking.
"oh? did you finally remember what date is it today?" you asked, crossing your arms. he was always busy with the school and missions, it started to convince you that he forgot about it.
this day was always special for the both of you, the day where you two have shared a loving bond and giving promises to each other that's been kept constantly till to this day.
"happy anniversary" he kisses you in the lips. "i will never get tired of loving you."
you let him kiss you, god you loved him. he smelled good.
you tiptoed trying to align your height with his, arms wrapping around his nape as you feel his slowly holding your waist.
the kisses you had with him were always this passionate, like it was the first time.
you pulled away, tasting something different and started giggling, "toru, is that a new lip balm?"
he was pouting, he didn't want to end the kiss.
"yeah, i bought a new one because i ran out," he replies, feeling both of his thumb making circles on your waist while looking at you flirtingly, "it's your favorife flavor too."
your smile widened, "then, don't blame me when i ask for more kisses often."
"i will never complain princess."
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© ORIHIMEII 2023 all rights reserved, do not copy or plagiarize my work including my theme and graphics that i've done, thank you.
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chriss-slut · 7 months ago
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Puddin'
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~ Dom!Chris X sub!fem!reader ~
Synopsis: Your friends slip up who's your favorite character, but also your fantasy kink.
warning: SMUT!! rough unprotected sex, petnames, degradation kink, daddy kink, cursing, and a lot of stuff that i can't even remeber anymore lol
A/N: this is kinda MY fantasy kink so.. 😀 btw if there's any spelling mistakes, im sorry, i didnt have time to check it :)
I have always been, in some way, a big fan of Harley Quinn (if not obsessed). I discovered her when i was around 12 years old, when Suicide Squad came out. Everything about her inspired me. Whether it was her behavior, intelligence, madness, or eccentricity, deep down, I dreamed of being like her, of being as sexy and alluring.
As I grew older, my passion for her became something I no longer showcased, simply out of fear of being judged by others. I was now 20 years old, and it seemed weird, even boring, to others to see me in the same costume at every dress-up party.
When I met Chris, I never really talked to him about this little obsession I had, mainly out of fear that he would find it strange.
Up until now, everything had been going well between us, and I didn't find it important. He didn't need to know more about this subject.
I was at home with Chris and my two best friends. We had planned to spend the afternoon together so they could meet, especially since our relationship had just become official.
Everything was going well until Julia started talking about what I was trying to keep secret:
"Oh, by the way, are you still coming tomorrow night?" Julia asked me, completely changing the subject while munching on her chips.
"Tomorrow night?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah, to Noah's costume party, like every year, Y/N!" she said in a "duh" tone, rolling her eyes.
"Um... I forgot. Honestly, I don't think so. Chris and I had planned to spend the evening together, so it's going to be difficult for me," I said, trying to find a plausible excuse to avoid further questions.
"What??!" she exclaimed, looking disappointed.
"You can come with him, and that way, you can get to know us a bit more, Chris!" added my other friend Stella, turning to my boyfriend with a big smile, and the others nodded in agreement.
"That would be nice," Chris replied with a shrug.
"See? Come on, you're coming. I don't really plan to give you a choice. We go every year, there's no way you're skipping it this time!" Julia added.
"I don't have a costume anyway, and I'm exhausted right now. It's going to be a no from me, guys, sorry," I said, trying to sound genuinely disappointed.
"You're such a liar. Are you going to make me believe you don't have a costume when you spend all your time dressing up as Harley Quinn at every opportunity?" she said, laughing.
My eye widen and i start blushing a bit. Chris turned to me, and i look at Julia with a face that says "Please, just shut your mouth."
"Oh, because, yes, I suppose you already know, but your girlfriend is completely obsessed with Harley Quinn. It's like she's totally in love with her!" Julia said to Chris, giggling.
"Julia! oh my god!" I said, embarrassed, now trying to hide my face in my hands.
"She's not wrong," Stella added. What a bunch of traitors.
"You never told me about this?" Chris said, confused, while I stood there, dying of embarrassment at the thought that the girls might make things worse.
"What, you mean she never bored you with her Harley Quinn obsession? I'm sure her biggest kink would be sleeping with you dressed as her!" Julia said without any restraint, and this time it was too much for me.
"Julia!! What the fuck is wrong with you!" I said, getting angry.
"Wow, calm down, I was just joking," she said, frowning.
Stella's mouth was wide open, and Chris looked like he didn't know where to put himself.
"You guys should go home. 'm tired, I need to rest," I said to escape the situation.
"What, seriously? You're going to be mad at me for this? Y/N!" I heard Julia shout as I left the room.
I went up to my room and shut the door behind me. My reaction was probably over the top, but I didn't want Chris to know about this. She had no right to humiliate me like that in front of him. I bury my face in my pillow and try to think about something else.
After a few minutes, I heard some knocks on my door.
"Julia, go away! I don't want to talk to you!" I shouted from my bed.
I heard the door open anyway, so I turned around to tell her to leave, but to my surprise, it was Chris.
"I'm not Julia, sorry to break it to you," he said, trying to make me laugh.
"It's not funny," I said, rolling my eyes before sitting up on my bed.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
"You're already inside anyway..." I speak, shrugging
"Are you mad at me or Julia? I don't understand anymore," he said, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms.
"Sorry," I replied, biting my lip, and he came to sit next to me.
"The girls left and asked me to tell you they really want you to be there tomorrow night," he said, placing his hand on the small of my back, and I sighed.
"Listen, I'd be very happy to go with you. I don't mind. We can always come back together and spend time alone after the party, but I don't want you to fight with your friends because of me," he said, and I turned my head towards him.
"That's not why I fought with them, Chris," I said, looking back at the floor.
"Then what was it about?" he asked.
"It's something stupid. I don't really want to talk about it!" I said, feeling the embarrassment return.
"Come on, tell me. I'm not going to judge you," he said, shaking his head.
"No!" I said, avoiding his gaze.
"Is it because of what she said about your obsession with Harley Quinn?" he asked.
"I'm not obsessed with her!" I said, getting angry.
“And that’s not what I implied. I was just repeating her words!” he responded immediately.
I sighed, realizing it was becoming ridiculous to keep this hidden from him any longer.
“Yes…” I said softly.
“Why did it upset you so much?” he asked.
“Because I was afraid she’d say more, and you’d find it weird!” I sighed.
“Why would I find it weird?” he said, gently rubbing my back.
“I don’t know…” I said, shrugging.
“I don’t find you weird, Y/N. You have every right to be a fan of any fictional character if it makes you happy. I really like Harley Quinn, too. You could have told me; I would have been happy to talk about it with you, baby,” he said, smiling.
My eyes sparkle as i hear him say that and i immediately look at him again. “Really?” I said, looking at him with admiration. I truly have a wonderful boyfriend.
“You know what, why don’t you dress up as Harley Quinn, and I’ll be your Joker? That way, you won’t miss the party, and I get to spend time with you and your friends,” he suggested, standing up.
I smiled at him, leaned to hug him tightly, and nodded.
“And when we get back from the party, I’d be happy to fuck you in your costume to fulfill your kink,” he whispered in my ear, playfully smacking my ass.
“Chris, she made that part up!!” I said, blushing deeply.
“Too bad, I was really down for that part,” he said, laughing.
i laugh too, still embarrassed, and i stand up, going to the bathroom.
_______
it's now the next day, almost 8pm, and I'm with my boyfriend arriving at my place. We just left the mall, where we went to buy a Joker costume to him.
i open my front door and we both run towards my room, since we're kinda late.
"dress up in there while i do it in the bathroom, okay?? i want it to be a surprise for you!" i say sweetly, quickly pecking Chris' lips before heading to the bathroom.
after an hour or so, i knock on the bathroom door so i can have Chris' attention and i shout from inside "Are you done??"
"Uh... I've been done for 20 minutes, Y/N." he says from my bedroom.
I burst out laughing for a bit and then i open the door, making a little pose for Chris, showing my costume.
Chris' jaw drops as soon as i open the door. He stands up and stay froze, staring at me.
i giggle softly and go over him, resting my hands in his chest "What'chu think?" i speak, in a slightly higher-pinched voice, trying to recreate Harley's voice.
Chris' jaw just drops more after hear me, he stays froze for a few more moments until he finally speaks. "wow... you look... wow!"
I giggle "you liked it?"
"Liked it? I just fell in love with you all over again!" he says, now hugging me tightly and lifting me from the ground.
I laugh cute and hug him back, tightly. "I'm so happy you liked it!"
Chris buries is face on the crook of my neck, sucking it softly. "There was no way for me to not like it. you look so hot." he whisper before kissing my neck.
I moan softly and move my hand to caress his hair. "thank you, baby..." i speak before pulling away and look at him. "You talking about me when you look like THAT is crazy!"
He grins at me "thank you, sweetheart! Lets go to that party, then?"
"Yeaaah!!" i yell happily, jumping.
He chuckles at my jump and grabs his stuff. We walk out of my house, going to the party.
After a while, we arrive at Noah's house. A lot of people outside of it, all dress up as various characters and monsters. I lead Chris into the party and after a few seconds, Julia and Stella run up to us.
"HEY, GIIIRL!!" Stella yells, happy to see me, as she hugs me from the side.
"Hey, guys!!" Julia shouts at us both, still a bit scared of me being mad at her.
"Hii!" Chris says at them, waving with a smile.
"Hi, girls! Love your costume!" I speak at Stella. She nods with a smile "Thank you! You look amazing yourself, but I'm used to see it already,"
I laugh softly, not really happy about her comment but i brush it off. "You look good too, Ju!" I speak at Julia.
She smiles at me "Thank you! You too, as always... Can i ask you something?" Julia says, with a soft expression. "Yeah, sure!" i say back.
"Uh... i just wanted to know if you're still mad at me for yesterday... I've been thinking about it all night and, I'm sorry..." She speaks softly.
I smile reassuringly "It's okay... I'm sorry too! I shouldn't have become so mad at you..."
She smiles softy and nods "It's okay, i guess we both screwed up!"
"Yeah, but its alright!" i lean to hug her as she does the same.
Suddenly, Stella speaks, loudly. "So, let's party?!?" We all yell "yess!" and that way, the party begins!
______
After hours, me and Chris are going back to my place, tired from dancing and jumping all night.
I open my front door and Chris holds the door for me to enter, smacking my ass playfully as i pass through him.
"Let's to the room. Now." He speaks in a soft but demanding way, which makes me a bit confused but i obey.
Once we get into my room, Chris closes the door behind him and quickly presses me in it, causing me to gasp softly.
"Remember what i told you yesterday??" Chris speaks, his hands caressing my sides.
"U-uh... y-yeah..?" i speak, slightly nervous, since Chris looks so hot and in a rough mood right now.
He smirks and attacks my lips in a hungry kiss. We both make out for a while. As we're still kissing, he puts his hands under my ass and picks me up from the floor, taking me to bed, where he throws me on.
He crawls on top of me and says, looking down at me "You look so damn hot right now. You have no idea how much i had to control myself to not drag you to a bathroom and fuck you right there." He leans and starts kissing my neck, intensively.
I moan in response and i wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling his body closer to mine.
"Tell me, what do you want me to do with you, Puddin'" Chris whispers, making me freeze for a second. Him calling Joker's nickname to Harley made me see stars... and made me wet.
"i-i want you to fuck me..." i say softly.
"huh? i didn't hear you, baby." he says, now lifting his head to look at me.
"i-i want you to fuck me, Chris. Please!" i whine, already desperate.
Chris smirks at me "Good girl" he says before leaning to kiss me again.
While we kiss, he takes off my Harley Quinn Jacket and toss it to the side. He gives wet kisses down my face to my collarbone, where he stays as he takes off my boots.
"mmh, you're so hot, babygirl~" he mumbles as he kisses me.
i moan softly in response, my hands now trying to take his jacket off, which he helps me with.
After a while kissing, he's now in just his jeans as i still have almost the full costume on.
He grabs my jaw tightly and speaks, firmly "you gonna do justice to your costume and act like a little slut f'me?"
I look up at him with puppy eyes and nod. He smirks and whispers "Good girl~" He moves two of his fingers that was on my jaw and slide it into my mouth, pressing it on my tongue.
"Fuck, you look so good like this... oh, imma fuck you so so good today~" He speaks, in a sensual tone.
I moan against his fingers, swirling my tongue around it.
He then takes his fingers off my mouth with a bop and attacks my lips again, then going down to my neck as his hands go under my shirt, caressing my chest over my bra. He lifts my shirt and move his hands to my back, unbuckling my bra and taking it off, without taking off my Harley Quinn shirt.
He then leans and suck my nipples, which makes me moan "mmh Chris...please, i need you..."
Chris lets out a soft chuckle and grabs my jaw again, harshly, making me look at him "I'm the one in control, got it?" he says in a demanding tone. i just nod, looking up at him.
He nods back and start kissing and sucking my breasts again, now going down my stomach, until he reaches my red and blue tight shorts.
"i gotta take this off, it drove me crazy all night." he speaks, now pulling it down, letting me in my fishnet tights, my thongs and my Harley shirt. He looks down at me and bite his lip. Chris caress my thighs and spreads them, softly passing his hand in my clothed pussy, making me whimper. "Chris, Please..."
"Did you not hear me when i said i was in control??" he speaks in a serious tone "I'll do whatever i want with you, understand?"
I sigh softly and nod. "Good." he speaks before slapping my inner thigh hardly, earning a loud moan from me.
"God, you're so good to spank!" he says, slapping my other inner thigh hardly, i moan loud again.
"Turn around f'me, ma" he speaks to me and i immediately do it. He smirk down, looking at my ass, half covered with my square tights and he spanks my ass, strongly. i cry loud, burying my face in my pillow.
He grabs a fist of my hair and pull my head back, for me to look at him. "Don't wanna mess that make up yet, do ya?" i shake my head, whining from the pain in my scalp. He throws my head on the pillow again, now with my head to the side. He slaps my ass again, and again, and again, making me whine in pain, but also in pleasure.
The last time he slaps my ass, he spanks between my ass cheeks, making me moan loud. He lets out a soft chuckle from my reaction and says "Looks like someone likes to be spanked, isn't that truth?" i whine in response and he slaps the same place again, now gripping my hair again. "answer me. with words." he speaks firmly and demanding. "y-yeah, i do... i-... i l-like it..." i speak, whiny. He lets go of my hair and whispers in my ear "you're so pathetic, aren't you? Look at you, looking like a real whore f'me"
He slaps my ass again and turns me around one more time. He digs his fingers in my square tights, right between my legs, and he stretch it out, ripping it over my pussy. He looks at my sexy thong and he looks at me with a smirk. "is this for me?" I nod softly. He slaps my clothed pussy, making me whine loud, with a smirk. "Be ready, i think you'll need to~" he says to me, before ripping my thong and tossing it to the side.
Seeing him ripping my clothes always make me more turned on, seeing his arms muscles flex gives me butterflies.
He slides his finger through my wet slit and he says "so wet for me. such a little slut for liking me treating you like this." He pushes one finger in my hole, making me moan a bit. He keeps with it in, not moving, and he looks at me. "Look at you... I'd take a photo of you just to show everyone how much of a slut you are... looking so good just for me."
Suddenly, Chris pulls his finger out and slam three fingers into me, making me moan. He starts fingering me roughly, hardly and fast.
"O-oh Chris! fuck!" i moan, leaning my head back from the intense pleasure.
He, then, stops again, making me moan frustrated. "All fours. Now." he speaks demanding and i do it, my ass now almost at his face.
Chris slaps my ass and caress my wet cunt. "so beautiful like this, puddin'... so perfect~"
I whine softly in response and he stands up, unbelting his pants. He grabs his belt and hit the bed hardly with it. "If you do something i didn't tell you to, you'll pay for it. Got it?" i nod frantically.
He pulls down his pants and take them off, tossing it to the pile of clothes on the floor. He grips my hips and pull me to the edge of the bed, so he can fuck me while standing up. He grabs both my ponytails and pull my head back. "You gonne be a good girl and not cum for me until i say it, alright? Don't leave this position and don't scream too loud until i let you, alright?" He speaks in a firm and demanding tone.
"Yeah..." i speak softly. "Yeah, what?" Chris says, pulling even more my hair. "Y-yes, daddy..." i whine. Chris slaps my ass and throw my head forward "Good girl~".
Chris rubs his clother hard dick against my wet pussy, making me moan softly. "You're so wet you're making my boxers soaked. slut!" He pulls his boxers down and slams into me, making me scream loud. He lean over my back and slaps his hand on my mouth, pulling it back harshly. "What didn't you understand about not. screaming.?" I whimper, squeezing my eyes shut, and speak against his mouth "i'm sorry..."
Chris lets out a breathy mockingly laugh and takes his hand off my mouth, my head falling down harshly. "fucking pathetic." Chris mutters, now pulling slowly out of me. i whine at the sensation and then moan loud, trying hard not to scream, when he slams into me again.
Chris moves one hand to under my shirt, squeezing my breast, and the other to my hip, now starting to thrust in and out of my cunt.
I moan as he fucks me, slowly. "Chris, please..."
Chris stops middle-way and says demanding "First off, I'm not giving you want you want. second, you're not calling me that."
I whine softly "S-sorry, daddy..." Chris slaps my ass again and start thrusting into me again, still slowly.
After a while, i give up on moaning and i stay quiet. My head down with my eyes squeezed shut. Chris notices that and start going faster, hitting my g-point every time he pushes into me. i moan and i lean down to rest on my elbows, my back arched and my ass higher.
Chris slaps my ass again and groans lowly. "mmh, baby~ why are you so hot and perfect? looking like a real slut like this, while your pussy clenches around me. fuck!" He starts punding harder, slapping my ass a few more times.
I moan deep, trying to not be loud though. Chris keeps pounding into me until my cunt starts clenching too much around his cock. He stops and speaks "You ain't cummin' now, bitch. You know what happens if you do." and starts fucking me hard again. i start moaning louder, trying my hardest to not cum. I whine "p-puddin'... p-please... i-i can't..."
Chris slaps my ass the hardest he can and says, roughly "No. You're not cummin, Y/N. Or should i call you..." he leans over me, putting his mouth right behing my ear "Harley?".
I can feel the knot in my stomach almost exploding ad he whispers that to me. I can't believe I'm finally realizing this fantasy.
He feels my pussy clenching more around him as he says that and he laughs, smacking my ass again. "oh, you liked it, dont you? you want me to call you Harley? Is that it?"
i nod frantically, barely able to speak at this point. "Words." Chris says roughly, pouding into me roughly.
"o-oh.. y-yeah, d-daddy! p-please, c-call me t-that! o-oh, fuck, its so g-good! p-please!" i whine slightly loud, tears forming in my eyes already.
Chris smirks and start fucking me harder and faster. "fuck, ma! s-such a fucking slut! such a whore f'me!" he says, groaning. I'm so glad i told Chris i liked being degrated! I'm wetter than i was supposed to.
i keep moaning loudly "d-daddy, please! i-i need to cum! p-please lemme cum!" i whine.
Suddenly, Chris pulls out and turn me around, so we're now in missionary.
Chris slams into me again and puts his hand around my neck, hard enough to hurt but not for me to be breathless. "If you gonna cum, I'll see you cum. Gotta see that pretty face with that pretty make up all messed up." He puts his hand on my face and slides it down, messing even more my Harley Quinn makeup.
He, then, slides two fingers into my mouth the deepest he can, fucking my mouth as he fucks my cunt. He starts pounding roughly again, making me scream against him fingers, also gagging a bit.
My eyes starts rolling back with tears, just as my back arching and hips jerking up, feeling myself really close to the edge.
"Look at you. All fucked up like a whore. You really became Harley Quinn, didn't you? That hot bitch. I bet you wanna fuck every guy of the city, don'chu? fuck, puddin'. you're so fucking beautiful." Chris speaks between groans as he pounds into me. i start moaning even louder as i feel myself not being able to hold my orgasm anymore. My cunt clenching around Chris' cock just makes him groan and moan more.
"Cum. Cum f'me, Harley. C'mon, babygirl, cum for daddy~" Chris whispers in my ear. That gives me the final push and i finally cum in his cock. Not a simple orgasm, though. All of this roleplay and dirty talk made me cum hard and squirt all over Chris, which makes him cum inside of me and collapse on top of me.
We both panting hard and shaking. We stay there for a while and then Chris pulls out, laying next to me.
"You did so good f'me, Harl..." He speaks softly, caressing my cheek
"y-you too, puddin'..." i say softly, still panting.
Chris leans and kissed my lips, a long peck. When he pulls away, he looks down at me, admiring me. "Why didn't you tell me this before? This was the best sex I've done in my life..."
i smile softly at him and speak softly, now turning to face him, "I'm sorry for that... if i get another kink, I'll promise to tell ya!"
i hope you liked it! pls comment what you think, I'd appreciate it! :) xoxo
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