#that’s how we’re communicating lmao I tweeted about how can I apologize if idk wtf I even did and why am I in trouble for subtweeting when

[angelmichelangelo]

anon was me, reading your response was lowkey like therapy and I really appreciated it. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been gaslighted by other phandom members or seen phandom members bully each other just because they’re in deep and think it’s their duty to ??? idk?? keep EVERYONE obsessed and essentially worshipping dnp for putting out mediocre or bare-minimum content. I don’t hate dnp, I just feel like I moved on and like you said, it’s probably a sign of something beyond “jealousy” or pettiness when ex-phandom members are all coming forward saying the same things. The fandom environment itself was extremely unhealthy and I’m sick of people saying “it’s chill now! There’s like no one here.” Because... it’s still not. It’s not chill, it’s just the same recycled gifs in queues, “I miss __” posts and the overhyping of tweets or an appearance of Freja. (Don’t even get me started on people treating the baby like a micro-celebrity. So incredibly uncomfortable). The fact that I still feel like I have to apologize for not enjoying dnp enough is incredibly frustrating. I’m definitely not jealous, I’m not even sure what we’re all supposed to be jealous of. “If you don’t like it, move on” can’t even apply to me because I have moved on but I have a lot of lingering discomfort from my time trying to get out.

yeah, it really is kinda weird that once you step away from phandom you can get a real perspective of it all and go: wow, that was weird. phan accounts (on both tumblr and twitter) that were treated like celebs themselves was just... straight up strange like wtf was that all about lmao. also i legit saw a fancam edit of freja and i just completely shut down. i had to step away from the internet for a whole ass hour because oh my god??

the unsettling part of phandom is that in their eyes, dan and phil truly cannot do no wrong. they claim that they call them out when they do something bad but oh my god is that a lie. you cannot ever be hypocritical of dan and phil whether you're an active member of the community or an ex-phannie. if you're a phan blog then you're seen as 'just bored and trying to start drama' and if you're a ex-phannie then you're just 'jealous and bitter'. even now after i've been away from the phandom for what... almost a year (i left in july 2020 and kinda never really fully came back i guess) and i'm still looking over my shoulder type thing because i still get anons crying about MY opinion in my inbox. like: sure you can enjoy whatever content you want, that's absolutely fine! (look at me i'm a marvel blog lmfao at least im self aware lol) but like... some phannies need to just realise that not everyone is going to love them and love dan and phil the way they do. i felt sometimes they misinterpreted that close creator/viewer relationship they had with us and they run WAY too far with it. which is maybe why dnp are looking for a rebrand (and failing so hideously) this obviously doesn't apply to all their fans, the phannie mutuals i've kept in touch with are very near and dear to my heart and i think without them i probably would have gone insane lol (yall know who you are <3)

but like... yeah in all honesty back in like. 2017 or 2018 when phan blogs i was following would quit the phandom and say the EXACT same things as i am now, i'd be like :( oh no!! why would they say that!! but clearly there's a pattern here, and it just shows, if more than one person is pointing out the flaws in a phandom or a community on a certain platform (whether here or twitter) it just proves that it's not someone just being bitter, it's that there probably is a problem in your fandom and they chose to ignore it.