#i guess i just needed it off my chest

[littleliterarylesbian]

I feel like the big "gatcha" of jegulus antis of them having some members of each other's families on their family trees is kind of fucking weird because.... EVERY wizard that's a pureblood or halfblood has in common people on every other family tree in some way shape or form.... wolfstar,,,,, ginny x harry (idk the ship name 😦), drarry, ect. THE WIZARDING WORLD IS FILLED OF INCEST BECAUSE JOANNE WAS FUCKING STUPID WITH HER WORLD BUILDING. EVERY WIZARDING WORLD'S FAMILY TREE, IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, IS ALL CONNECTED IN SOME WAY SHAPE OR FORM. I CANNOT STAND SOME OF Y'ALL WHO DON'T USE YOUR BRAIN AND THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE USING THIS TO ARGUE AGAINST A SHIP THAT'S NOT REALLY A BIG DEAL AND DOESN'T MEAN THAT THOSE SAME RULES ALSO DON'T APPLY TO YOU'RE FAV SHIPS ����

[bruisedviolette]

i was 11 when the first season of stranger things came out. i first watched it right before season 2 was released. i still remember the way i felt that spring, the way the air felt, it was so hot, i was basically stuck inside. my mum and i watched the entire first season in the span of two days. i can almost taste and smell the memory of that time in my life. arizona peach iced tea, mario badescu rosewater spray, sunflowers by elizabeth arden.

i first watched stranger things as a closeted and mentally ill child. i wished i could just be normal, like everybody else. i had a crush on my best friend at the time, i think she liked me too. we haven’t spoken in eight years. seeing a depiction of what i was going through, albeit a very different situation, as portrayed in a show that was so popular and widely loved by the general public in the character of will made me realise that things will be okay. everything will eventually work out.

when i was a kid i regularly had dreams in which i would go missing. there was never anything else to the dreams, or nightmares rather, i’d just disappear. sometimes i wished i would go missing. i felt like a burden to my friends and family because of my mental health issues, and the cherry on top was me being a lesbian. i used to cry myself to sleep and ask God if he was listening, why couldn’t i just be the normal daughter that every other parent seemed to have?

i’m so lucky that my parents accept me for who i am. i grew up thinking that everybody hated me because of my sexuality, that i was disgusting and wrong. i see a lot of myself in will, and joyce with my own mother.

all this to say that i Will be crying hysterically if there is a graduation scene in season 5. this show has been a constant throughout my life since i was 12. i’m 20 now, and since watching the first season as a mentally ill closeted child, i’ve changed a lot, and i’m a lot less sad than i used to be. i used to think i’d always feel like a mistake, like something was wrong with me, like i had to hide who i truly am.

i know this sounds so cliché, but it gets better. i’ve lived it. if you told me a decade ago that i would be living as an open lesbian, with friends and family that couldn’t care less about my sexuality and love me for who i am, i wouldn’t have believed you. trust me. it gets better. representation is so important in a show as impactful as stranger things for people like me and so many other queer people.

to anyone reading this, i love you, i care about you, and everything will work out in the end.

[radioisntdead]

I have the worst luck with nail salons dear grace, what I wanted vs what I got

[mirage-of-the-virtuoso]

Alright, I need input on something, just to get closure, and I feel like I am driving myself crazy over something that probably isn't that big of a deal. The reason why I make this poll under the cut:

Some time ago, like in the last year, year and a half maybe, I had joined a strike through lfg for OLC, and the only thing that the comm had listed was for the players to be experienced.

To me, experienced meant "knew the mechanics of the fight" and "unlikely to die if something got messed up via weirdly timed mechanics"

So I joined. This commander was complaining about people joining and ditching on the first wipe they got. Felt a little sketch, but I was still relatively new in terms of joining lfg for daily strikes. So I thought I was imagining things.

As someone who's still new and relatively inexperienced (and frankly horrible at build crafting), I thought just knowing the mechanics and following the commander should have been enough.

With this comm, apparently not.

The moment we started, they were demanding to know what my comp was in the middle of the fight. Maybe I just can't multitask in these types of games, but I cannot type and fight at the same time, because any moment spent typing is less dps I'm outputting. So I didn't respond.

I got told after we wiped that I should go back to the training tab in lfg (which, even if I agreed - which I didn't - no one was doing once a strike had been out for a couple of months, and therefore no chance of improvement otherwise, considering my schedule), and had rattled off numbers that I had zero knowledge of knowing. (According to what they were rattling off, I was apparently doing 3k dps on a very poorly built virtuoso, which I was quickly corrected by a trusted friend where the fault was. That's what happens when you put a soloist with no prior experience into endgame content, who also was unaware of certain etiquette with joining squads)

Am I crazy for blocking and reporting that person for being what I thought was misleading in their lfg post? Because, if experienced meant "must have a meta build" even though I barely had resources to even have ascended armor (which turned out to be the wrong stats), then not a lot of people are going to get the experience of endgame content like that (obviously in regards to people who want that experience)

Edit: for further clarity, this was for daily normal run OLC (priority strike that day I think), so idk why this comm was so worked up over a fairly new-ish player not being full meta 30-40k dps, esp someone who was never into endgame content before

Edit 2: Don't be afraid to tell me I'm in the wrong. I made this poll to get perspective for myself. I have since grown from this, and while it was a hard experience for me to go through, it was an important lesson for me - as a newer endgame player - to get a better understanding of the endgame community and the expectations

[rafyki]

I really can't understand why, but there's so much useless discourse in the pjo fandom - about ships, about interpretation of characters, about headcanons, and all stuff like that. Like, are most people in this fandom unable to have fun?

I mean, I've been in the fandom for ten years now, and (maybe it was bc back in the day I was in the Italian fandom) but back then there wasn't this much discourse???

Please, just learn to have fun, that's literally what fandoms are made for

[ratatatastic]

prime example of "you may only handle me once because i have to have dignity and shit and if you try it again i will bite your dick off"

or alternatively marchy doing marchy things and somehow forsys the one being provoked into it go figure

florida panthers @ boston bruins | 10.14.24

[tiacori]

gonna miss 2024 trends so much, esp since now i know that the "we listen and we dont judge" trend is what led me to finding out that my sister actually tried to kill me in my sleep but its like, whateverrr

oh yeah happy new years guys <3

[eldritch-araneae]

You know what's painful about ISAT (but also it's best feature)? It's the fact the story so niche that it appeals and understood to specific people! People who are exactly like Siffrin! Even the timelooping can be an easy metaphor for being stuck in same mental illness without any help will lead to degradation. So it's very upsetting seeing people who didn't like the ending, believing that Sif should be forgiven or the ending is too happy, or how Sif didn't earn it... just wow.

Because if people think this about Siffrin, what they would think about me then? Should I be thrown away into garbage pile for making a mistake and hurting loved one and the apologizing for what I did??? Should I just die? Should I cut my limbs or do other forms of self-harm to "earn" my happiness?? Should I suddenly be cured from my mental illness bc loved ones showed love and hugged me???

Like it's wild how just people cannot grasp the story and criticize it, but then I just have to accept it that a lot of people WONT understand, bc they never been there. They never had an mental illness rotting their mind to the point of violence and rage. They never felt so overwhelmingly alone and so filled with self-hatred that would force you to play a perfect role for you loved ones to love you and if you slip once, it's over! They never had loved ones who forgave them for mistakes and supported them when they needed it the most. Like it's complex story that I can pick it apart all week and still never getting all details and how all this resonates with me. Yet some people overlook it and make false conclusions.

Which tbh, makes me feel more alone, knowing people out there who seem decent, yet won't understand me or show a little compassion, wgo who I must appear perfect to be even remotely accepted.

But I guess it's like part of life andf I gotta cope with this fact. There are a lot of people who understands, which is good. So that helps at least.

[cowchickenbeefpork]

tbh I think Gotham Ed would’ve worked better if the writers portrayed him as more so driven by proving that he’s smart than driven by a actual search for knowledge deep down. I know i know a lot of riddlers are that but he just. Doesn’t read like that to me??????????? This isn’t me saying the writers shouldn’t make him smart, but if your going to write him count as insane then incorporate the need to fucking prove how smart he is when he’s doing that shit?????? Why are you making him do illogical actions that don’t tie into that like yeah you don’t have to make it make sense logical he is insane when he gets into those moods BUT OH MY GOD KEEP HIS LOGIC CONSISTENT GUYS

I feel like if they were consistent about him needing to prove he’s smart and justifying irrational behaviour by some bullshit he’s convincing himself he’s doing then his relationships with others romantically or whatever would make more sense too. Why is the man who thinks love is a weakness not bothered deep down by how intimidate he’s getting???? Show that to me Gotham MAKE HIM GIVE A HALF ASSED PSEUDO LOGICAL REASON FOR DATING ISABELLA MAKE HIM START OUT BEING MENTALLY SOUND IN SEASON THREE DUE TO BEING ON MEDS AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY LOSE IT AND BECOME MORE INSECURE BECAUSE OF HOW OTHERS VIEW HIM!!!!!!!! GOTHAM WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

It’s not even like the writers never made him ever do insane shit and then try to rationalize and make it logical. He literally thought Jim knew he killed Kristen and planned out a fucking eloberate plot to frame Jim WHICH RATTED HIMSELF OUT FROM HIS ATTEMPTS TO PROVE HOW SMART HE IS GOTHAM IS CAPABLE OF WRITING EDWARD BEING SO SCARED OF BEING WEAK AND DUMB HE DOES STUPID SHIT I DONT GET WHY THEYRE SO INCONSISTENT WITH THIS OUGHHHH MENTALLY UNWELL PEOPLE DONT DO RANDOM SHIT JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE A INTERNAL LOGIC TO THEIR ACTIONS EVEN IF ITS FLAWS GOTHAM STOP DOING THIS TO MEEEEEE

[tomatomagica]

you can tell me it's my own doing and i feel extremely stupid saying this at all but i genuinely wish "gay way of sitting" and "bi way of sitting" and whatever else were never a thing, i didn't think it was a problem until it was and now my legs are fucked up and it takes insane effort to sit in a way that's kind to my body and not actively destructing it further

[brightclaws5tudios]

Respect

(Before I say this, I will admit that my aunt has Down Syndrome, but that still does not account for the imbalance of respect in this house, because my grandparents just use it as an excuse for everything that she does while not considering how that might make everyone else hate them.)

TW: Me complaining abt shit that's probably not even important

Idk, I really don't think my family gives me enough respect. It's stupid to ask, because I'm the youngest anyway so it's not like they'd care, but like I feel like half of the time they don't give a shit. I literally got in trouble yesterday for calmly telling my aunt there was no 'x' in 'espresso' and this morning for covering up my stupid doodles because she was sticking her face really close and being a distraction to my work. Meanwhile, she is allowed to try to strangle me, swear at me, interrupt me, scream in my face, make stories about me where I'm basically way over sexualized for some reason, and she used to be allowed to sit on me and bite my neck.

I'm not allowed to say mother trucker.

They take away everything I have for such minor offenses, my phone was gone for half a year because I didn't do the recycling once. Anything she does, she can blame me for, and they won't care, as long as there's somebody to yell at. They want me to get out and get a job and all that shit, yet they also don't even want me to swear or go in the woods in case I scrape my precious knee. God forbid I try to decide my own gender, because of course they know more about that than I do.

God damn. Seriously, I can't leave, but I really need to. My grades are dropping because of the stress they put on me, but they only like me when my grades are good. If I piss them off while doing a big fat assignment, they'll get my aunt to come over and scream just to distract me more and more when even the sound of their voices in most cases is enough to make me forget what I'm writing. I tell them I hate being called 'missy' and 'lady' and all that shit and they do it more because they know I hate it, and I'm pretty sure they know I'm trans, because I overheard my grandmother talking about how my name was stupid and the only redeemable quality of it was that it was Greek.

Even at school I can't escape this. Shit gets thrown at me. In one class period, I had:

Cucumber slices

A grape

Wet tissues

Water

The cup they held the water in (which they stole from me)

Silly putty

Wads of paper

All of those were thrown at me. Instead of Atlas, the kids at school call me Alice, hoping it will sound similar enough that I won't notice, but I do. I've been filmed and posted without my consent, nobody does shit about it, and it's all because I'm 'weird'. Can't tell my grandfather, he yells and calls me a wuss when I admit that I did not, in fact, beat the shit out of them for it, when I know he'd kill me if I did. I get told that since I didn't fight, I don't need his protection. People yell behind me, sometimes slurs, because my flinch response is so big that they know I'll run. At night I can be so peaceful, then out of nowhere tense up so much that I almost kick a wall and am on edge for a while. Even friendships aren't safe from this, turns out my best friend of 10 years was using me for academics for the past year and couldn't stand me.

Fucking great. I even gave him sharks.

(Edit I forgot to mention that I get called an animal but I don't think it's important anymore I got my point across)

[narwhalandchill]

its been like. nearly a year (How.) already but i cannot lie theres Still a part in the back of my brain occupied with and being thoroughly entertained by the way that childes confirmed 4.0 complete self-awareness over waking up the narwhal at 14 recontextualizes some key liyue things leading to some very funny self indulgent scenarios in my head

like yes chili is old news its basic please excuse me for predictable popular ship crimes (do NOT however associate me w the crimes of fanon against their actual range. theyre peak to Me) but i just keep replaying the imagery of zhongli and childe back on their homoerotic Professional Working Relationship bullshit where their flirting passed the jkjk unless treshold of even remotely plausible deniability like 8 exorbitantly priced business dinners ago and theyre just like. doing that whole song and dance now neither committing to a move except zhonglis presently feeling moderately conflicted (but nonetheless fairly unfazed at) by the prospects of actually developing some sort of a thing for the harbinger hes supposed to puppet master into executing the major story climax of his 67-step retirement plan bc he turned out to be quite the strangely charming ginger specimen (to His weird fucking 6000 year old tastes at least. they deserve each other) with some fascinating life ambitions he cant help but be enraptured by.

but because hes still 100% Locked In on his entire plan zhonglis also just . simultaneously dual wielding his coy-ass "i like you and am taking it slow to Savor this developing relationship (Also bc of the Geo Archon Shaped Elephant In The Room) except am old as shit so my languid sense of time inadvertedly Automatically turns my behavior into an equivalent of the dark souls boss of playing hard2get" act (cue "waddup im ajax 24 and im in fucking agony with this hot funeral consultant". Yes they live like this) AND also meticulously theorycrafting like 12 moves in advance for his 6d chess play of leaving the most subtly crafted trail of breadcrumbs behind for the tsaritsas 11th to follow into the intended & completely "Coincidental" idea of unleashing the one particular sealed sea deity that zhongli Specifically wants momentarily released for his sweet 6k retirement party and graduation test for the nation hes helicopter parented for 3.7k years .

like. this is zhongli we r talking about the guy Absolutely has it planned out down to a fucking art like he has an entire branching path dialogue tree planned and memorized like its a visual novel for every possible way he can conveniently namedrop osial in a non-suspect way and also that he just happens to be sealed right over there across the harbor (what a coincidence!) and also to slip in the intel about the latent power of the sigil of permission etc etc. like zhonglis just out there doing all this massive galaxy brain computational work simultaneously while infodumping on an academic level about whichever subject childes latest random comment of amicable small talk happened to remind him of because in his helicopter parent in remission mind its Absolutely Critical that the idea about releasing osial occurs Completely organically in childes mind it Has to he Cannot risk revealing anything . (hes in remission not in recovery guys.) so like here we are. he requested notes from the tsaritsa Personally on the character of her 11th just to ensure every move was painstakingly crafted to draw him Specifically to the intended conclusion without risking revealing his true identity .

except. the thing . neither he. nor the tsaritsa . would have been informed of . is that this simply isnt childes first fucking rodeo waking up an eldritch city sized sea creature . and he is very well aware of this fact . he woke that beautiful wonderful beloved huge fucking narwhal up by himself had his brain chemistry Immediately and Irrevocably rewired as a direct consequence do you fucking think hes somehow stopped thinking about that singular moment for even a second since then???

yeah . thought so.

so what actually ends up happening in reality is theyll be on another definitely-serious-business-not-just-a-date and zhonglis going to get down to like dialogue selection part 10 of the 86 step conversation tree at Most where hes only beginning to like Vaguely allude to the key pieces of information involved but it turns out Because Hes That Guy (TM) And Has Been There Done That Before childes basic pattern recognition and sense of irony simply proceed to kick in Way ahead of time and hes Immediately perking up like Hey wouldnt it be really fucking funny if i wake up an eldritch sea beast Again . like just in case. as a last ditch effort .

and zhonglis just sitting there seeing the gears turn in his head as they enjoy their cringe fucking picnic (bc they just stare at each other intently like that nowadays its a thing. being in a room with them by this point is essentially a human rights violation) and is just completely fucking flabbergasted and lost on how in the hell childes speedran his way to that conclusion at what amounts to barely a 13% completion rate in his whole overkill fucking plan (just 1 of 3 contingencies btw) and its like yes he has his intended outcome but also precisely 0 idea on how the fuck said outcome was reached the way it was this fast . like hes still winning its His plan thats well underway and ahead of schedule but How

(pov: ur selling the concept of waking up destructive sea creatures to the guy who woke up a celestial body eating cosmic whale at 14)

anyway its truly beautiful i absolutely detest these two and have prime liyue AQ hijinks nostalgia now thank you for the lore drop that allowed this to become canon in my head hoyo

[imminent-danger-came]

My new hobby is skimming through seasons of Ninj//ago to induce a fever dream like state in my psychese

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

hey i’m proud of you for being open about your desires, sadomasochism is healthy and when done safely it is fun and hot and a great way to do fetish stuff! i hope you find someone safe to explore that stuff with <3 !

thank you anon I love you anon. really I think a lot of My Issues with navigating sadomasochism aren’t about the kink itself or even that it’s a kink that I have, they’re more with the fact that my being into it feels like a bit of a betrayal, yeah? like I’ve loved scary shit my whole entire life, I’ve made some of my best friends in the world bonding over scary shit. n naturally that comes with people harassing you n your friends, often when you’re too young to even know what they’re talking about, because the way you dress or the music you listen to or the movies you like are all somehow an indicator that you’re some sort of Sex Murderer being barely restrained by the bounds of polite society. I’ve had friends bullied off the internet very very early in our teenage years for allegedly being into kinks they’d never even heard of. so of course when I get older n I start discovering this part of myself it’s really alarming — not because I believe all the crazy shit that’s being said about hardcore kinksters, but because I can no longer say “hey, it’s ok, none of us are sex freaks here.” because now it feels a bit like I’m selling my friends n really my scene as a whole out by being the Fucked Up One even though I Know that’s total bullshit, n I know there’s plenty of us, n that there’s nothing even inherently wrong with being a sex freak in the first place. but even with those complicated feelings I’ve realized like, I can’t talk a big game about being pro kink unless I stop being a little loser baby about my own kinks yknow. I can’t keep being so accepting towards others while simultaneously being so hard on myself. the only way out for me is to unlearn all that, n that starts with oversharing in my tumblr dot com tags I guess _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

[2pen2wildfire]

So summer's coming up and cuz I'm a nanny I'm gonna end up having to take the kids to the pool a lot, does anyone have any good swim binder or alternative recommendations? Really don't wanna be wearing a sports bra in public all summer.

[bearlytolerant]

I just love that Iris’ main pawn ends up looking exactly like her mother but the voice is different and it’s all wrong and all horrible to her. A constant reminder of her grief she must carry around with her. She can’t stand to look at her main pawn at first and when her pawn dies the first time, she leaves her in the rift for a very long time and goes about her life as Arisen on her own.

But eventually, after coming across quil wandering aimlessly in her world, she asks him to join her and breaks down and summons her main pawn, finally naming her after her mother.

But when all of the events are said and done, phaesus, quil and Iris all suffer grief twice over when pawn Gwyn sacrifices herself for a better world.