#i gotta trust in the process but why does the process even HAVE this step

[suburbanbonfire]

you would think that after a year i would know how to draw tentacles, but no. everytime it is new.

[azulpitlane]

be aggressive l ln4

lando norris x dcc!reader summary: the internet is curious as to why lando suddenly has an interest in american football, specifically with the dallas cowboys masterlist

f1gossip

13,283 likes

f1gossip Lando Norris and Mclaren CEO, Zak Brown at the Dallas Cowboys game today in the AT&T stadium!!

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user his ass did not wanna be there😭

user lando?? american football?? huh???

user guys it was sponsored by hilton!! pretty sure thats why they attended

user makes sense cause bro looked miserable by the second half of the game

user a strange strange sight

user mf was bored the whole game except when the cheerleaders performed LMFAO

user the video of him locking in as soon as they stepped out in the field💀 ↪user WHERES THE VIDEO HAHAH? ↪user the video is all over twitter, cameraman did him dirty lmfao

yourusername

liked by landonorris and 12,379 others

yourusername victory sunday💙🤍💙

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user lesss goooo cowboys

user FAVE DCC

user in y/n we trust🧎‍♀️

user wait a minute- lando what are you doing here?!?

user no cause i noticed that too👀

user obsessed with you

user patiently waiting for the lando girlies to realize he followed her immediately after tonights game

user poor lando didnt get the follow back tho😭😭

yourusername

liked by landonorris and 19,382 others

yourusername first ever grand prix!!! such a delight to perform for these lovely faces✨

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user you guys made paying hundreds of dollars for a ticket worth it tbh

user icons

user another lando like, jolene im begging you pls dont take my man😔

user its the other way around for me😩 lando needs to back off my girl

user 🔥

landonorris amazing performance😍

user oh we're getting bold??? user down bad lando is my favorite lando fr user OMGGG FUTURE WAG Y/N??

user STOP is she the reason lando went to that cowboys game a few weeks ago

user going to her games and they're not even dating yet, gotta respect the game tbh😭

user sorry to break girls' hearts but there's videos of her and lando talking at the gp and he was blushing and giving her heart eyes the whole time

user literally came to her account cause of that video HAHAH

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, maxfewtrell and 930,482 others

landonorris 'murica

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user PASSENGER PRINCESS LANDO???

user ARE THOSE DCC BOOTS IN THE LAST SLIDE???

user it HAS to be the cheerleader he just followed cause they wear the exact same boots ↪user her name is Y/N!! put some respect in our dcc queen's name ↪user yes maam🫡, i apologize for my ignorance as a brit

user lando in a cowboy hat?? SHOW IT TO ME NOW RACHEL

maxfewtrell man you never let me drive when youre in the car

landonorris yeah cause i dont trust u maxfewtrell YOUVE KNOWN ME LONGER THAN Y/N??this comment has been deleted

user did max just confirm it is y/n THEE DCC in the last slide🧍‍♀️

user LMFAOO i know lando gave him an earful after that deleted comment user too late for him to delete, I HAVE IT PRINTED OUT! Y/N AND LANDO CONFIRMED

user streets are saying it's y/n in the last slide... we lost her guys😔

user AND WE LOST HER TO A BRITISH MAN💔💔

user now we wait for y/n to follow him and start soft launching too

danielricciardo glad i trusted the process

landonorris TOLD YOU user i hate when they comment inside jokes, got me feeling left out :(

user wait the way he let her drive even though hes said before he hates not being in control, meaning he already trusts her🥹

user i love her already omg

user lando dating an american cheerleader is actually the most lando thing ever

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 18,392 others

yourusername current side mission: turning a brit into a texan

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user bae just tag lando norris, we know it's him

user NOO I WAS HOPING IT WAS JUST RUMORS💔

user girl lando does not know who you are ↪user i was talking about y/n ↪user oh sorry, valid reaction tbh

user the matching pictures of her driving and him as the passenger princess on his post omg this is the most perfect soft launch i fear

user i waited for 3 and half years for her and white man did it in one week😩

user her soft launching as if max didnt already confirm it on landos post

yourusername shhh just pretend you didn't see that, cant have my soft launch ruined ↪user sorry maam, whatever you say maam

user lando is so posh but she has him driving dirt bikes and going to rodeos HAHAHHA

user the way he looked just watching a football game was hilarious, i cant even imagine a rodeo

user as a european f1 fan, can someone explain why she's so loved? (IM ASKING IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE I SWEAR)

user LOL she's a cheerleader for the dallas cowboys football team which is a huge deal here! it's pretty hard to join the squad but shes a fifth year veteran (about to retire after this year) and she's known as one of the sweetest and kindest leaders on the squad!! she also met lando at a game!

user does she know she has twitter freaking out with this post?

user not that im complaining but this is the first time i see an f1 couple getting so much love HOW AND WHY??

user well y/n is quite literally america's sweetheart

yourusername

liked by landonorris, pietra.pilao and 23,492 others

yourusername one last christmas show🥹

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user what is dcc without y/n☹️

user gonna miss her so bad

user still looked amazing

user okay but is she still with that nascar driver or whatever cause wowwwww😍

landonorris yes, she is still with the FORMULA ONE DRIVER. ↪user OMG AN OFFICIAL CONFIRMATION???

pietra.pilao be with me please?

landonorris 🤨

landonorris woah woah you didnt say you were gonna post this one??? you look too good???

yourusername what happened to not commenting on each other's post until the hard launch🙂 (but ty ily) landonorris i take that back. (ily more) ↪user theyre losers but i love them your honor

footballplayer 🔥

landonorris yeah nice try🤣

user landos fighting for his life in these comments HAHA

user he fr ruined y/n's soft launch cause he cant handle these commenters hitting on her omfg

user kinda scared to comment, i dont want lando coming for me

user please dont be in love with someone else😩please dont have somebody waiting on you😩

landonorris she is in fact in love with someone else and does in fact have somebody waiting on her (ME) ↪user lando is a loser bf CONFIRMED

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 973,492 others

landonorris winter break means football games with my beautiful girl

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user finally the hard launch

user she literally is turning him into a texan GRAHHHH🦅🇺🇸

user *pretends to be shocked*

yourusername ILYYYYYYY

landonorris ❤️

user sad about her retiring dcc but happy we'll be getting so much WAG content

user OMG i didnt even think of this ↪user already imagining the paddock fits😩

user ig i have to accept shes officially taken :(

landonorris yeah. ↪user chill bro aint nobody taking her from you

user bro saw all the thrist comments on her last post and decided to hard launch

maxfewtrell ranch in texas when??

yourusername OMG SOON PLEASE @/LANDONORRIS?? ↪landonorris um idk about that ↪yourusername 🤨 ↪landonorris I MEANT ILL THINK ABOUT IT!! IT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA😁🫶

user shes got him on a LEASH

danielricciardo ahh feels like yesterday that you bought tickets for the game AND the flight to have a 5 second interaction with the cute dcc

user damn lando was down bad wth😭 landonorris thank you for making this public information. ↪yourusername hey at least you beat the norizz allegations! eventually...

user as an american, im allowing you to count cota as your home race for bagging this queen

user oh lando norris i underestimated your game

User he gets the y'all pass now

landonorris THANK YALLLLLL

user the americanfication of lando is not something i knew i needed, but i did. thank you miss y/n

yourusername youre welcome, he will be listening to zach bryan and dolly parton in no time🫡

notes: one thing about me is im gonna start getting lazy at the end of every smau i make. LOL. anyway i love american reader if you havent noticed already :)

[arielleslipgloss]

How to Stop People Pleasing!!

(none of these photos are mine)

“I don’t like studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful.” - Natalie Portman

Give it to yourself!! Why should you try to make others like you? You don’t even like other people. In fact, do you even like yourself? The person who is with you every second, do you like them? You keep abandoning yourself, yet you don’t even notice. All that attention you wish and crave for is right in the mirror. That attention you seek, you can give to yourself. All that pleasing, do it for yourself. You did good on a quiz? Tell yourself you’re proud of your accomplishment. You went out on a solo date? Tell yourself that you deserved that fun alone time. Give that love to YOURSELF, because you deserve it. All that pleasing should be used to please yourself!!

2. Stop over apologizing!! Start saying thank you instead. Someone listened to your rant and you want to say sorry? Don’t, just say “thank you for taking the time to listen.” If you ever think of apologizing, take a step back. Then, think of how you could thank that person. Expressing your gratitude to a person is an incredible healthy habit. Of course, when appropriate saying sorry is necessary though. Just try to think before you say sorry. Instead of immediately saying sorry, ask yourself “is it appropriate to say sorry?” You could even ask yourself “does this situation best fit a sorry or thank you?”

3. Embrace and grow from rejection!! Rejection happens to everyone. Every single person has went through it. Whether it’s a small or big rejection. It’s a normal thing that happens to all humans. A lot of rejections even result in life lessons. It can also help us learn and move forward. I promise, being afraid of rejection is perfectly normal. Now, how can you embrace it? Well, start thinking getting rejected is a gate to better opportunities. I mean, so many celebrities have been rejected. They have experienced it in relationships, publishing books, auditions, castings, etc. Despite of that, they are still famous and they’re still doing great! They still get many of better relationships, brand deals, movies to be in, etc. Overall, better opportunities come to them later. That means the same will happen to you! You just have to trust the process and believe. Believe not only in getting better opportunities, but in yourself.

4. Say no when necessary!! This means you need to have boundaries. You have to be able to say no. If you can’t say no you will be stuck in so many uncomfortable situations. Now, I promise that saying no is not rude. It’s actually a sign of self respect, which is amazing. However, how do we know when saying, no is necessary? For starters, think of the situation you’re in. Then, ask yourself “am I uncomfortable and in need of saying no?” If you are uncomfortable with whatever say no. You are not obligated to say yes to every single thing. You’re the one in charge of your life. So, take some action when needed and say no. Never ever, let people change your mind or peer pressure you.

5. The image you made…?!? Lastly, let’s discuss and transform this image you’ve made. Take a deep breath, because that image has gotta go. If you are constantly thinking of if this person and that person will like what you do? Then, knock it off and start doing what you wanna do. This is about to seem cliche, but life is too short. You need to stop and take a second to think about yourself. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. Not what makes others like you more. Learn to be your true authentic self. If your true self is shy, extroverted, cold, bubbly, etc. Whatever it is, be yourself and if others don’t like it. So what? They are just projecting their insecurities on you. Learn not to take people’s opinions personally.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss

Love you so much dolls!! Remember to keep your head high and stay pretty 💋🎀

[quinloki]

hello i'm eating up everythink this kink game is soo 😋😋😋

could you do branding, breeding and collar for Eustass Kid and Killer? (im a sucker for kid pirates what can I say, if you wanna add a third c of your own choice i'm all ears 🤭)

\o/ I'm enjoying doing these - I'm so glad people are enjoying them.

Branding, Breeding and Collaring - make talk about the Possessiveness Trifecta. Sucker for yandere that I am, I am not complaining, but a fair warning to everyone reading, I may go a bit hard on this.

Also - I 100% have some yandere Kid Pirates stuff I want to go balls to the wall toxic on, so I'm going to do these particular head canons from a healthy view point (save all my deep dark shadows for the multi-chapter stuff.)

Hmm.. I'm tempted to add Heat since I did Wire not too long ago, but I'm not feeling it so I'mma step outside the Kid Pirates for my wild card choice and go with hmmm...

(I've done breeding kink for : Mihawk, Sir Crocodile, Rayleigh, Marco, Newgate, Jinbei, Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Lucci, Law and Kaku.)

Oh I was going to pick Sir Crocodile, because why not, but you know what, let's go with Smoker.

Eustass Kid:

Branding - Oh god you don't even know - Eustass isn't going to suggest this to you, but if you bring it up (tattoos, actual branding, cell popping) he'll be all for it. Safe and painless as possible - well, okay, I mean, sometimes the pain is the point, but my statement still stands. Cell popping is generally not-permanent but most other forms of branding are. Style, design, brand or tattoo, he's going to talk all the details out with you, and how you're going to go about getting it.

Strapped to a custom chair, completely naked, as either he - or someone trusted - does the work (hey if you head canon Kid as a tattoo artist, rock on). He'll tease, please, and praise you the entire time, probably record the entire thing for posterity too especially if it's a tattoo. If you're up for it, he'd be all in for you to have a couple tattoos - at least one everyone can see, and few for his eyes only.

Breeding - FUCK Yes - Man's got a specific piece of furniture for this. It's designed to be adjustable (It goes from 4'00" - 12'00" just because he could), and can be used with or without straps. It's got a few other addons, and it's multiple body type friendly.

Hey, Eustass makes things with his hands - not just metal stuff, the man's leather working and wood working skills are on point and I'm not even speaking in double entendre xD It's designed to keep from having the sub/bottom that gets on it from being too exhausted to be, well, bred. (Designed with their pleasure in mind cause some of these addons vibrate).

Thing of it like a comfy saddle with a sybian built into it (google that at your own risk).

Collaring - Oh god you don't even know - Obviously less permanent than branding, but there's a real "You gotta earn it" process to this for Kid. You don't just go around collaring people - putting someone in irons because they're a legit prisoner (or your role playing that sort of thing) isn't the same as this.

If you're okay with it he'll have a collection for you before long. From almost subtle chokers you can wear every day if you want, to ornate metal ones strictly for playtime, to fur-lined leather ones you could wear publicly if you wanted to. You can be sure all of them were made by Kid, and they're all going to be comfortable. The more comfortable you get wearing them, the more likely Kid is to loop a finger through them and pull you into a rough kiss without much warning.

Killer:

Branding - No - Tattoos are an exception to this, but permanently marking/scarring his partner is a big no for Killer. Careful temporary marking yes, but he's the one with the scars, and he doesn't want to cause you to have any (or any more than you already have). It's not that he needs your skin to be flawless, it's that he doesn't want to be the cause of any of your scars.

Killer's job is protecting - the Captain, you, the crew - and probably in that order if we're being legit. Now tattoo(s), something he designs, something you can each get (that not exact matches, but matches style), he's all for that if you are. He wants his somewhere he can easily see - and maybe even that can be easily seen. >.> He wants yours somewhere that only you and maybe the ship's doctor will ever see.

Breeding - FUCK Yes - I mean, have you see that breeding bench that Kid built?! Of course he enjoys using it, and this is a style of marking/possessiveness he can get behind. (ah, heh accidental pun there. get behind... xD) It's not just filling you up over and over that he enjoys, sometimes letting others fill you up too, but it's having you shudder and cum on his cock over and over too. He's into it just as much for your continued pleasure as his own.

The number of times your body tries to curl on that bench is going to be at least twice as often as Killer satisfies himself.

Collar - Oh god you don't even know - it's blue and white with a double row of spikes on it and somehow it is crazy comfortable to wear.

Well, at least that's the first one he gifts you. Killer won't force you to wear any collars, but he'll talk about them and their importance to him and what they mean, and when he gives you the first one he even reiterates that you don't have to wear it. But if you put it on yourself, or present your neck for him to put it on, it'll certainly have an effect on him.

And if you're willing to own/wear more, he'll be gifting a small variety to you. Though the first time he notices you wearing one outside of playtime, you might find yourself over his shoulder and on your way to the bedroom - or the nearest available secluded spot. He'll cool off a little with time (or learn better restraint), but that first time is going to hit him like a ton of bricks.

Smoker:

Branding - Rather not - Cell popping maybe, but branding or tattoos aren't really Smoker's vibe. You could probably convince him to get matching tattoos for say, like, your tenth wedding anniversary or something, but he'd be a little skittish about the idea before then. He certainly has a possessive streak, but it's more of you knowing that you're his, and not necessarily a need to make sure everyone else knows.

I mean, everyone else will know, but he doesn't need a tattoo or brand to get that point across.

Breeding - FUCK Yes - Pressed against the wall, bent over the couch, screaming muffled pleasure into the comforter on the bed, and trying to stifle your moans as you hold onto the balcony railing while getting railed. Smoker is going to take you rough and without a condom - your body's begging for his to be buried in you, who has time for anything else?

Wrapped in his smoke you'll swear you smell like his cigars no matter how much you wash. It's not unpleasant, but it also feels embarrassingly obvious to know that anyone else who knows what his cigars smell like is gonna know. Not that you're asking him to stop, you agreed to the arrangements after all.

Collar - Starts as a Sure turns into FUCK Yes - You're the one telling him about collars, and some of the meanings behind them in bdsm and all that, and he's not against it. He lets you pick out what you want, and reads up on safety about them, and you two incorporate it into your playtime.

At one point though, you greet him at the door after his shift, either in little more than the collar, or with it being visible along with what you're wearing (sexy surprises galore under the clothes, of course). The whole evening riles him up more than usual, and he becomes a lot more attached to collars. Eventually he even collars you almost ceremoniously during a session, having gotten a custom piece made for the occasion.

Kinky One Piece Head Canons

[casanovawrites]

FROM season 2 sentence starters (part 1)

we’re not supposed to be here.

bad things are going to happen to us.

how about you and i go upstairs?

check the windows and lock this place down.

if this shit goes sideways, you have to be ready to step up. you got that? 

how about if i just sit here with you until you’re ready. okay?

now is the time for you to be strong.

yeah, i’m real. are you fucking real?

i’m not afraid. well… maybe a little afraid.

i guess we’re sleeping here tonight?

you haven’t done anything yet you can’t undo.

you wanna go? you have no idea what’s out there waiting for you.

you don’t get to tell me what i can and can’t do.

i know you’re hurt, and this is beyond fucked up, but i need you to listen to me, okay? 

this place, it isn’t what you think.

there’s darkness in the forest. nightmares you can’t even begin to imagine.

i can’t just sit here doing nothing.

i can’t fucking do this anymore. i can’t.

last night, it got bad. it got really bad.

the people that make it here, it’s because there’s a part of themselves that they hold onto.

you have to be that piece of them this place can’t take away.

even if we lose each other, we hold onto each other, we keep trying, until we get home.

this place will not win. you understand me?

i know i missed a lot. but we can get through this together.

people died last night. 

we’re stuck, and nobody can tell us why.

please stay. i just need you to stay. i really need you to stay.

promise me it won’t always be this way. you can lie if you have to. just, please, promise me.

i don’t need a fucking pep talk, i just need to know that you’re back.

these people can’t take a whole lot more of this.

i’m not sure how much more i can take.

this place, it makes you think you’re doing things for good reason.

does your pity party come with music?

it’s poor form to blame the dead.

leaders sometimes have to make tough decisions.

broken people don’t survive here.

there are things around here that walk and talk just like us. until they walk up to you and rip your fucking guts out.

how does a voice inside your head convince you to do something like that?

do you think i want this? 

i was given a chance i didn’t deserve.

i have done things i can’t undo. 

i’ll be motherfucked if i let you hurt any more of my people, you understand that?

you really don’t get what’s happening here, even after everything you’ve seen? you still can’t process this is actually real.

i shouldn’t be here. i’m not strong enough for this.

for a long time, it still smelled like you. now it just smells.

what if i’m not the same anymore?

i’ve seen things here. i’ve had to do things. 

you’re still you. i’m still me. the rest of it, we’ll figure it out together.

first of all, fuck off. and second of all, fuck off.

you want my approval? you want absolution? you’re not gonna get it here.

only monsters live in the woods.

sometimes i get angry, and i’m sorry.

i was kind of a dork when i was a kid.

it always seemed like such a nice idea, that no matter what you did, if you were truly sorry, then god would forgive you. do you think that’s true?

did you do something that needs forgiving?

i just feel like all i’ve been doing lately is hurting people.

i’m here. we’re together.

i haven’t had a good night’s sleep since i got here, and now i’m seeing things.

i know these are things you really don’t want to talk about, but i am at the end of my rope.

i didn’t see a vicious killer. i see a broken kid.

i’m seeing a lot of people pushed to their edge. you ever wonder if maybe that’s the point? 

we don’t have to trust each other, we don’t even have to like each other, but we gotta start working together on this.

since i got here, i’ve tried to make people feel safe.

i need to do whatever i can to get these people home.

is this because i disappeared?

promise me that you’ll put an end to things before they go too far.

people need to know how bad it is. 

here’s the thing. anytime you say that we’re fine, it means we’re not fine.

we can’t just keep things from each other. 

[gingerpeachtea]

3, 16, 20, and 30 — what's a line that you're really proud of! 🤍

(fanfic writer asks!)

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

AHHHH okay out of the fics that i currently have posted, it's definitely trial by fire, BUT if we're counting wips then something's in your eyes is my definite favorite!!

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

titles are usually one of the last things that i do, if not the absolute last. i remember when i completely finished wrap it in gauze and light the way home, i spent SIX HOURS afterwards trying to come up with a title that i liked, and i only ended up settling on one because i didn't want to miss posting it on the anniversary of the graceland pilot. honestly a good chunk of my fic titles are a result of me finishing the fic and being so excited to post it and then realizing FUCK i gotta title it

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

lose your faith in me!! it's a lyric from the gold by phoebe bridgers and the manchester orchestra. it just sums up daisy's state of mind in the fic very well and i'm very happy with how i was able to use it to tie everything together in the end: "Daisy thought back to yesterday, to the dark circles still under Lincoln’s eyes, to Jemma’s hitching breaths loud in her ear and her tears damp on her neck. Back to Lincoln’s palm warm on her cheek, the memorized path to Mack’s room, and Jemma’s enveloping arms; to how much they trusted her, even if she couldn’t trust herself just yet. To their unrelenting faith in her." she wants so badly for them to give up on her (or "lose their faith" in her) for their own good, but they refuse to, and that's exactly why she's able to take that first step towards progress in her recovery :) <3 i also REALLY LOVE the title for trial by fire because it's the only fic title of mine so far that's 100% original, and not either taken from a song lyric or just a phrase taken directly from the fic that i settled on just to get it over with :) so i'm very proud of it!! (absolutely no shade to anyone who does song lyric titles btw!! most of my fic titles are from song lyrics lmao)

30. Ask anything! - what's a line that you're really proud of?

from when memories snow: "She dreamed always in flashes of red and blue now, flickering like stop motion, like a slow-encroaching doom she couldn’t do anything about but watch, dreamed of the wails of ambulance sirens, of blood circling the drain. Of balconies and things going differently." :D <33 !!

[dig-jules]

just watched requiem for methuselah. are you kidding me.

Spock is playing the music that Jim and rayna dance to and these camera shots right here

and the way Jim dismisses him and his discoveries because Jim is too busy falling for rayna not realizing that those discoveries are what will reveal the very reason that they cannot be together, that being her true nature and the circumstances leading to her “birth”

And he just walks away and the shot pans to Spock sitting there.

ok to be so fair the whole next scene is actually so sweet btw bc jim really does love her

BUT ofc Spock returns to save him from the consequences of his love for rayna (consequences this time being the attack of the robot) in some serious foreshadowing, and an air of tense formality returns with Spock, at least in Jim’s eyes- because Spock represents duty to him- but in truth Spock is acting out of concern and friendship because why would he have followed him in the first place?

ok and then Spock actually sounds frustrated and repeatedly insists Jim pay less attention to Rayna to focus on the matter at hand because oh yeah everyone’s gonna fucking die of the bubonic fucking plague if they don’t get this figured out in 2 hours and Jim considers it to be him conceding to not truly understanding or being forgiving to concepts of love or passion but really Spock’s just gotta get their crew home just like Jim and he already suspects raynas not real and he knows that Jim’s greatest weakness will always be the love that he gives so freely and always has taken from him by circumstances outside his control or as a result of his own insufficiencies and that the more time he spends with Rayna the more pain will result. just like the first attack

So it makes sense that later Spock volunteers to go ahead to try to find the cure because he knows what lay behind that door will also likely be what reveals what Rayna truly is and Spock would rather sacrifice Jim’s opinion of him despite all his obvious longing to be seen and heard this whole episode than let Jim experience the inevitable despair that comes with discovering the object of his affections is in fact an object

And then when they all learn about Rayna being an android SPOCK is the one to explain Jim’s love for the android in perfect clarity because he does understand. He just expresses it analytically because that’s how he processes things. And when she dies from experiencing love for Jim that exceeds what she was built to process Spock can explain that too, he can explain that longing because this? This is something he knows intimately- this care she can’t grapple with because circumstances don’t allow it and everything she’s been taught thus far doesn’t tolerate it is HIS EXPERIENCE like even in that EXACT MOMENT

And then they’re back on the ship and yeah everyone’s saved hooray but Jim is a fucking mess i mean his robot girlfriend just died because of him fair enough.

And Spock is there with him through it all and he sees Jim’s grief empty him until he’s just a shell of himself and then the doctor walks in and is just like “hell yes he's asleep now i can blame you” and then proceeds to tell Spock he feels sorry for him because can’t understand or experience love or emotion and doesn’t know the desperation it will drive a man to and Spock just TAKES it because you know what.. maybe he doesn’t? How can he trust himself to recognize what he’s never fully allowed himself to feel, or express the emotions he’s been told he isn’t capable of understanding by everyone around him his entire life

so when bones leaves and Spock steps forward and reaches out to jim’s face and makes the ultimate sacrifice to his own traditions and teachings and even his own sense of morality just to make Jim forget and take away his pain (because he’d rather take on the burden of guilt than watch jim remain a crumpled form in front of him) are we really surprised? because did we too think him incapable?

and so the episode ends with Rayna having died for truly allowing herself to acknowledge love, and spock now does the same- because if not physically dead, this moment is one of the many which give way to his decision to undergo complete ego-death after the series ends

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 14- Part 16

No no, nononono, I don’t think she wants to be perceived right now, just leave her to pretend to be invisible like a ghost- that’s probably why her hair is white! Just look at Danny!

I’m sure Xera would very much like to be an intangible phantom right now!

I mean, to be fair, that one evil guy had the control of the whole PULSE Tangrowth, that’s way tougher to bring down than a trio of Grunts with Pokémon that are likely not as well-leveled.

Ooooh no, that ring is super important for some reason, oh dear, what have we done, oh no-

Yeah, now that I think about- probably difficult for a father to scold his pre-adolescent and rebellious child when said child can just…fly away in the middle of it.

Why is this a choice…? Does anything actually change if we say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ here? He said it’s non-negotiable, so I assume it’s one of those “the game won’t let you progress until you select ‘Yes’” things. Not that I’m gonna select ‘No’ here to test it, or as a joke, this scene is a bit too serious for me to want to do that…

Because, admittedly- okay, yeah, I’ve made my suspicions of Corey very clear by now, but this is still a painful moment, being forced to cut off contact with someone who seemed like an ally, not to mention Heather as well after having just gotten to bond with her over fighting bad guys, even if she’s a bit arrogant about her abilities (but with a Salamence on her team, I don’t blame her).

And those are just my feelings as the player, out-of-character. In-character? Heck- this probably feels worse for Xera. Again, she doesn’t suspect him of having a connection to Team Meteor, and while I wouldn’t say she feels as close with him as she does other characters (relatively speaking, given the outwardly cold demeanor I’ve assigned to her), I’m sure she at least respects and trusts him to a degree. And again- bonding with his daughter over fighting bad guys! So to break Corey’s trust to such an extent that he forces her to cut ties with them, to lose that connection like this…gosh, that’s gotta hurt.

But she’s not in a position to argue, either, and not just because she’s a silent protagonist here. So…

Man- the last two victories against Team Meteor had at least some sense of accomplishment or triumph to them, maybe bittersweet at worst (given what happened to Victoria last time). But this…I just feel sad, now. Just…Xera standing there, completely alone, only her Pokémon by her side at the end of the day…man.

But…with this, we should be able to access Beryl Ward now. And that, in turn, takes us one step closer to rescuing Victoria, hopefully. That’s what we should focus on- in-universe, I’m sure that notion will be what Xera takes some solace in.

Anyways, the sign in front of the Gym doesn’t give much info, just that this was the Jasper Ward Gym. But hey, with the vines cleared, we can finally go over and pick up that item!

Fitting, given we just fought a Tangrowth. 

Now…let’s get out of this sad little forest, and back to sad little Jasper Ward and its sad little Pokémon Center.

And I think we’ve made more than enough progress for one play session- more than I was expecting, honestly, but I’m not gonna complain. Thank you all once again for reading, next time we’ll finish up any business left remaining in Jasper Ward, then make our way to Beryl Ward and- maybe, depending on how long other possible events take- take on the other PULSE! 

Now that the creation process for these chapters has been greatly streamlined thanks to PicPick, progress and updates should be much more frequent from here on (barring any IRL things taking away free time). I’m really looking forward to that, I’m excited to keep going, and I hope you all are looking forward to it as well! So thanks again, and I’ll see you all in the next installment! Until then!

CURRENT TEAM:

Riptide

Species: Croconaw

Gender: Male

Level: 27

Ability: Sheer Force*

Item: Quick Claw

Brave nature; Alert to sounds.

Glare

Species: Arbok

Gender: Female

Level: 25

Ability: Intimidate

Item: Protective Pads

Naughty nature; Highly curious.

Prong

Species: Charjabug

Gender: Female

Level: 25

Ability: Battery

Item: None

Rash nature; Loves to eat.

Decibel

Species: Noibat

Gender: Female

Level: 25

Ability: Telepathy*

Item: None

Bashful nature; Often lost in thought.

Blizzard

Species: Snover

Gender: Male

Level: 25

Ability: Snow Warning

Item: None

Naive nature; Likes to thrash about.

Caldera

Species: Slugma

Gender: Female

Level: 25

Ability: Magma Armor

Item: Quick Claw

Jolly nature; Often scatters things.

CURRENT BOXES:

NUMBER OF RELOADS: 8

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[dumbbitchfrommars]

"princess diana"

why is my making an effort to look and feel pretty, when i am in a low place, trying to break away and distract myself from the seemingly endless stress and turmoil my life is right now, exactly WHY is that such a fucking crime?

why is it that i feel like such a caricature of a woman when i make an effort to feel in touch with my feminine side? why does it feel like an overcompensation, an oversaturated and overdone attempt at hiding behind a costume? why when i look at my sisters in their many different states of being, does it all seem so effortless, when all i want is to feel like myself, like my best, like im beautiful too.

why is it such a crime to want that feeling of security and safety for myself?

i am completely afraid of going on this trip and having to face my true self, to be vulnerable with a person i dont trust and avoid completely, to know that everyone sees the block that i have in me and how pathetic it is that i can barely break through. like they all clearly have. because theyre all so fucking emotionally grown.

apparently i hide behind my maturity to avoid my wounded inner child.

all of the sudden im walking around with a target on my back.

maybe i was too quick to stop seeing my psychologist?

cause right now all i feel is rage and frustration and pain. because i really do feel like im alone, and no one including myself can make me feel safe. yet all i have ever done is try to make everyone else feel safe in my presence. when will this energy be returned to me?

why is it such a crime to ask for these things for myself? why am i so unworthy? because i dont have a fucking second to be alone when its all i fucking crave from life? for the past month all i have wanted was a second to return to myself. to workout again, to do yoga again, to go for a walk with myself again, to appreciate the lovely little beauties in life that only i can share with myself because there is no one else like me. to see from the perspective that i lost and quickly became more and more restricted the more i felt in survival mode. trying to rush to get every task done. every task that no one else would ever do.

right now it feels like no one truly appreciates the uniqueness of who i am. they just see all my flaws and weaknesses. i guess trying is not good enough, i guess something has to change.

somethings gotta give.

my best change comes from distancing myself from external energies when i come to these roadblocks and uncomfortable feelings within me, but it seems like distance could be a hard thing to reach at the moment.

even the fucking cat doesn't like me.

nobody likes me when im miserable.

its the cold hard truth.

nobody likes you when youre miserable.

sorry! dont like you. good luck with your depression and anxiety. youre on your own now.

i understand in a sense, not having the time or patience for it. i feel like maybe when you reach that plateau of spiritual growth you do tend to step up on the pedestal above all the puny, pathetic undeveloped non-spiritual folk.

what makes them any different to me in this scenario?

not nice being the one below looking up huh.

the difference between me and the people who i cut off - people i slowly distanced myself away from and never once was hurtful or bullied, just genuinely stop resonating with and took the step back from - is that i am making an active effort to try become better.

but apparently my own timing doesnt work for you. apparently my process doesnt look like yours and therefore is not valid. and so i become the butt of a joke that im not laughing at. or i am... because im a people pleaser.

fuck my life.

am i not allowed this one moment? this one reprieve from the shittiness of my situation at the moment to be completely and annoyingly drained, pathetic and enraged? is that not allowed anymore????? let me fucking live my life! this was my first day off in god knows how long, and i still ended up with a schedule jammed full of plans to run around doing things for other people!

im supposed to be writing my FUCKING THESIS!!!

my fucking fucking fuckoubgrafubnbge thesis .

AND OF COURSE TO TOP IT ALL OFF MY DUMBASS COWORKER OVERCHARGED ME WHEN I CAME IN SPECIFICALLY BUYING A PRODUCT FOR THE FUCKING DISCOUNT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING APPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ugh.

its so exhausting to carry all these pent up emotions around with me. like a child. a child who doesnt know what to do with it all because its too big.

the most hurtful thing to me is that no one shares my unconditional love and adoration for all small humans and animals. especially dogs. even the ones who claim to be the closest to me, my best friend, sisters. to not share it, to not even acknowledge it in me, to reject that part of me. to judge that part of me. who the fuck do you think you are? claiming to love me and not see that side of me. to not want to see it. to ignore it. to reject it...

some part of me... i think its my inner child. its a part of my inner child. but not me when i was little... me when i was bigger, but still little. she wants me to sit it out tomorrow. to leave myself out to send the message that im hurt, and im angry, and i dont want anything to do with people who hurt me. that they have done something wrong, and should know that something is wrong, but i wont tell them why.

then theyll ask me what happened, and ill say nothing even though its something. and hold onto that pent up resentment until the next thing goes wrong.

or i tell them, and its explosive, and messy, and poorly executed, and very well mean the end of the relationship in its entirety. all for a small moment that triggered an insecurity in me.

god im so sensitive. im so sensitive but no one wants to see it. no one wants to acknowledge it. because my walls are so far up that i wont let them. and when they notice... well. i guess it doesnt matter.. because ive been hiding so long. im always hiding. whenever it shows, its rejected. i keep feeling so rejected. what the fuck is going on with me...

i feel like a pathetic child.

im hurt.

im tired, im exhausted, im burnt out, ive overextended myself, all i want is for things to be light and fun again but it feels like it never will be. it feels like it wont get better in time for the trip or the festival. it feels like im gonna let everyone down. it feels like im just one huge disappointment.

what happened to not taking things personally?

i keep thinking that to myself. but thinking it and embodying it are two different things. im repeating the words to myself like a whisper in the background, as i watch myself continue to fall deeper into this despair of "why me?" like a viewer behind a TV screen.

i actually have noticed ive been disassociating a lot more than usual lately. im just mentally checked out. i wish i could just... disappear somewhere. somewhere totally isolated where i could be by myself. maybe ill get that at the festival. maybe what i feared, being abandoned, will be exactly what i need. to just float in the water and stare at the sky for as long as i need to forget all my problems.

i dont know whats going on with me now but i just hope its over soon. i hope its over before it gets bad enough for me to revert to my old ways. i just want to be okay again. i just want to feel safe again, and to not be afraid, and to not be angry, and to be in love with life again. to be in love with myself, to accept myself, to not hate myself, to not be angry with myself, to not feel like its all coming apart, to not feel like im doing it all wrong when im giving it my all.

[daddy-pops]

✨Self Care Methods for the Moon Signs 🌙

creds to: @omgits_ella on instagram

♨️Aries Moon: i feel like the best self care methods for aries moon placements is something physical. like, maybe it’s a specific hobby you guys enjoy that takes up your entire attention but it’s also something that you take your energy out on. maybe it’s excerising, working out, or maybe something like.. my best friend with an aries moon binges competivite video games. something that you can really focus on to distract you & consume you so that negative energy doesn’t project to your loved ones.

🧸Taurus Moon: the best self care method for taurus moon placements i feel like would be taking things slow. taking your emotions & physical needs/things at your own pace and indulging in your needs. i’m not saying go do whatever you want, i’m saying that i understand that you need time to process your emotions, take that time. take care of yourself along the way but make sure you’re not throwing others to the side for your usuage, and going down the bad route. things happen for a reason and sometimes we just have no control over what’s happening. accepting that at the end of everyday you’re going to be okay is crucial, and understanding that the things you have learned can be seen as lessons instead of negative views/thoughts, which can prevent you from running into further problems in the future.

🗣Gemini Moon: the best self care method for gemini moons would be VENTING. they need somebody to talk to about what is going on in their head or else they feel scatterbrained and not “all there.” gemini is ruled by mercury, so gemini moons are prone to feeling more anxious than other signs. they usually just like to play it off. if they don’t talk to anybody and they don’t let out all this mercurial energy, they are prone to shutting down for awhile or using distractions to runaway from their inner thoughts in order to cope. they are also popular for using humour to cover up their emotions so everything seems “fine.” they need someone to talk to that is healthy for them, that stimulates them in the right ways, and is somebody that they trust. they only want to talk when THEY want to so give them their space and time and surely they will come to you.

🦀Cancer Moon: the best self care method for cancer moons i feel like would be comfort. comforting yourself with whatever your needs are. whether that be spending time with your loved ones, indulging in your comfort foods, or maybe even helping somebody else out. doing whatever you need to help process your emotions in a positive way, but remembering not shell up and push the ones you love around you away. remembering to keep that balance between your needs & others needs.

🎭Leo Moon: the best self care method for leo moons would be to pamper yourself. make yourself feel good, make yourself feel like yourself again. go out with friends, go on adventures, explore new hobbies, express yourself. don’t take it too far though and go down the wrong route, remembering to watch yourself to remain in that healthy mindset. surround yourselves with those you hold close & would do anything for, and remember to take care of yourselves.

🌷Virgo Moon: the best self care method for virgo moons i feel like would be journaling. virgo is ruled by mercury which can make virgo moons more anxious than other signs whether they show it or not. similiar to gemini moons, if they don’t let out all of this mercurial energy, they can feel disconnected trying to figure all of their emotions out. feeling “not all there” like gemini moons. since virgo is a more private sign than gemini, they don’t usually like to talk about their emotions much because of the earth influence. they don’t like being vulnerable unless they trust you. that’s why i think virgo would be interested in journaling rather than venting, they could keep their emotions to themselves but they can write out their feelings to let out this mercurial energy. it could also help them organize their emotions by jotting them down, letting them realize and understand what they’re feeling. basically it helps you rationalize your emotions, which is what they’re all about doing in their head. this is just a more organizing way to do it in my opinion.

🥂Libra Moon: the best self care method for libra moons i feel like would be taking time for yourself. doing the things that you need to do for YOURSELF, and to stop caring so much about how other people perceive you, and what they want from you or for you. surround yourself with the people you trust, and people you know are going to be there for you. take the time out of your day to do special things for yourself, maybe induldge in your favorite foods or your favorite hobby. use positive affirminations with yourself, remind yourself that it’s not all about what others think. your voice matters. you matter. what you think matters more than what anyone else thinks of you. keep reminding yourself of the good things about yourself using those positive affirminations. you deserve good things.

🖤Scorpio Moon: the best self care method for scorpio moons i feel like would be tapping into yourself. scorpio is ruled by pluto, the planet of change and transformation. if i know anything about scorpio placements, it’s that wherever scorpio is placed is going to show you the intense changing / transformation of yourself. for you guys, it must be tough. for this placement i would reccomend doing various things. for one, i would reccomend journaling. unlike virgo moons who do it for organization of their thoughts / feelings, i feel like it would be best for you aswell because your emotions can be so intense and overwhelming that you desperately need an outlet. journaling would allow a way for you to jot down these emotions without anyone getting hurt in the crossfire, but it also allows you to understand what you’re feeling on a deeper level. it’s actually been proven that physically reading & writing on a topic can further deepen your understanding on it. it would allow you to become more comfortable with yourself and your emotional state. another method i would reccomend would be distraction. listen, i know you’re emotions are crazy overwhelming and you feel trapped by them. i know it may seem hard at the moment, but distracting yourself would allow you to process your feelings more. when you first get into an emotional situation, your feelings are so intense that you may view it as an “all or nothing” situation. you may lash out at others, say things you don’t mean, or you may shut down entirely. if you use distraction, your emotions aren’t going to feel as intense because you’re doing something else. you’ve gotta occupy your mind with something you enjoy, that consumes all of your energy so later on you will be in a more rational emotional state, and so everything just won’t seem as overwhelming. this will help you become more clear minded with your emotions, rather than acting out on your emotions.

🏹Saggitarius Moon: the best self care method for sag moons i feel like would be to go out on an adventure. do something fun with yourself or with the people you love the most. let yourself be free. express yourself and remember to use positive affirminations with yourself. surround yourself with the people you trust and talk about what you’re feeling whenever you’re ready. trust yourself, and be humble with those around you. try not to runaway from your feelings, because that only causes you to runaway from yourself. accept yourself and who you are, believe that you are capable of great things. because you are capable. believe & accept yourself, and you will go a long way.

🌻Capricorn Moon: the best self care method for capricorn moons i feel like would be letting yourself take a break. it’s a good thing to balance out your work, hobbies, and relaxation time but i know that you guys like being productive and like grinding. so i would say to balance yourself out. if you think you would be better processing your emotions by working your butt off, go for it. but remember not to overwork yourself. remember that you’re productivity does not determine your worth. or maybe give yourself some much needed relaxtion time, go out with your closest friends, and talk to people that have your back. whatever you prefer, but the idea is to allow yourself to take a step back and say, “i’ve done so much, i deserve a break.” remember to balance this though, and use it when you need it.

👾Aquarious Moon: the best self care method for aquarious moon i feel like would be giving them their space. when an aquarious moon is upset about something, the best thing they need is space to rationalize and intellectualize their emotions. they want to rationalize in their head how they feel this way, why they feel this way, and what they can they do about it. sometimes they may feel better venting / talking to somebody they trust about it, or going out with their close friends because they are prone to overthinking. maybe take up a new hobby for variety or something new. let yourself have fun, and let yourself be happy. accept yourself and trust your gut.

[party-gilmore]

This is still just a half formed thought but @pebblesrus got me thinking bout The Pool Scene and Eliot viewing his body/safety as something to physically exchange for that of others, combined with the commentary about how Eliot was counting the seconds Hardison was without air, like

There's still the thrum of angry tension stretching out from Hardison between them through the night, during Flores's call, on the way in and through the airport... Eliot isn't avoiding Hardison's angry gaze, but he's not seeking it out either. It burns under his skin, a hot coil of discomfort and the sinking sensation of having ruined something unless he manages to make things even.

At some point midflight, Hardison gets up to pace near the bar (because it might have been last minute, but he's NOT gonna make the team fly coach - even though he's still upset with Eliot and may have thought about it for a minute). Eliot follows a few seconds later and catches Hardison on the way back, quickly shoving him into the small lavatory and locking the door behind them.

"Man! What the hell! If you don't get your hands off me, I-"

"One minute, nineteen seconds." Hardison stops flailing against Eliot's grip around his wrists and just... stares, incredulous.

"...what?"

"You were without air for one minute, nineteen seconds."

"...you were counting." It feels a little like a question, although it isn't. Not really. Eliot's grim expression softens often imperceptibly. Hardison would've missed it if they weren't crammed so tightly in the small bathroom. Eliot answers the non-question anyway, voice uncharacteristically gentle.

"Course I was."

Hardison tumbles that around in his head for a bit. Of course Eliot was counting. Probably to know when it was too dangerous anymore to stay in character. Hardison knows how important it was to gain Moreau's trust at the time. In his head, he knows that. Knew it, even then. He was just... so afraid, at almost drowning, and angry at the secrets Eliot was keeping... but he was counting. He would've gone in for him, if he needed. Blown the whole damn thing.

Yeah the situation just sucked all the way around, sure, and yeah Alec's still a little pissed - why wouldn't he be! He's got the right! - but Eliot was counting. That means even though he'd had to put Hardison's life at risk, he was willing to risk even more - his own safety, the entire con - to pull him back out if needed. That was something, right? That was still-

-Hardison's too busy turning the pieces around in his own head to notice Eliot shifting his grip from Hardison's wrists to his hands. Tugging them closer. Pulling them up.

Alec snaps back to the present when his fingertips graze the warm, flushed skin of Eliot's neck.

"What-"

"One minute, nineteen seconds." Eliot suddenly presses Hardison's hands tight around his throat, guiding his thumbs to the appropriate hollows beneath his jaw.

"You... you can't be fucking serious!"

He tries to pull away, but Eliot's grip holds fast.

"Damnit Hardison," his growl comes rough, grating, as he puts pressure on his own windpipe through Hardison's palm. "You were right! Okay? I risked your life. For one minute and nineteen seconds. So that's what you get. Just... just do it, man! Get it over with, then we're even!"

"Even-... man, do you not realize how fucked up this is? I'm not... I'm not doing this!"

With a growl, Eliot tears his hands away from Hardison's, and Alec snatches his newly freed palms back to his chest. Eliot clearly wants to pace, but can't in the cramped room, so he settles with carding his fingers through his hair.

"Then what the fuck else do you want from me, man!" His voice already sounds ragged, even with how short of a time Hardison (or rather, Eliot by way of Hardison) was pressing around his throat.

"I just wanted you to be honest with us! With me!" Hardison slumps back against the far wall, anxiously rubbing his jaw as he tries to find the words. "Alright, look, I get it, what you had to do at the pool. I do. That doesn't mean my being upset about it is just gonna... go away!"

"I know that!"

Hardison flinches as Eliot slams his fist against the side wall. He knows the strike wasn't meant to be pointedly 'at' him, that in such a small space there's not a whole lot of room to safely lash out in when feeling cornered, but it was still too close to him for comfort. Eliot clocks the flinch, and for a moment the frustration on his face morphs into a clear expression of the guilt he's been masking since the pool.

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't... fuck, I'm sorry," he pulls away, shrinking in on himself like he does on the grift, trying to consciously make himself seem smaller. "I just... I just don't want to have ruined us, man. Whatever is we've got... you and me, this team... I just wanna fix what I broke. I want us to be good."

"We are good, man," Hardison cautiously steps forward. He thinks to put a hand on Eliot's shoulder, but that's too close to his throat at the moment, so he goes for the outside of his arm instead. "You don't gotta... let me hurt you to make things even. That's... I don't know where the hell you learned that, but I don't like it. I'm not gonna do it. You just... you just gotta let me feel my feelings for a bit, okay? We'll get Moreau, and that'll feel fucking great, and have a little party, and everything will be fine. "

Eliot looks up at him and the ragged, raw desperation in his gaze about knocks Hardison back against the wall.

"...that's it?" Eliot's almost laughing, with a dry sarcastic bite behind his tone that makes him sound unhinged... well, more unhinged than usual. Although, he did just ask Hardison to choke him, so Alec figures we're not exactly working with the usual state of mind here.

"It's that easy, huh? You just... say we're good, and we're good?"

"Uh, yeah." Hardison shakes his head, tightening and loosening his grip on Eliot's arm in what he hopes is a soothing pattern. "That's how normal feelings work when somebody you care about pisses you off. You talk your shit out, it hurts for a bit while it heals up, then you're good. I don't know who fucking taught you you had to pay for-"

Oh. Oh but then it hits him. The dots finish connecting and he's looking down at Eliot, who's been strung tight and volatile as a clumsily stripped live wire ever since they closed in on Moreau, and in that moment Alec knows who taught him that.

He steps in close, carefully taking the back of Eliot's neck in a gentle grip, and ducks slightly to even out their gazes. Eliot’s whole body is tensed so hard he's almost shaking with it, but his eyes start to lose their sharp edge with Hardison's easy hold.

"I need you to hear me, Eliot. If I say we're good? Then we're good. No strings attached, no games, no doing any 'favors' for me first to prove any kind of loyalty or whatever. You know I don't play that shit. Yeah? You hearing me, man?"

Eliot's body starts to lose a bit of it's tension. A hesitant nod starts, but stops early. Hardison's seen Parker do that before, when she's too nervous to fully commit to a new idea even if she wants to, so he softens his tone and backs up a bit like he does with her.

"You hear me, babe?"

"I hear you," the reply is soft, almost embarrassed, and Eliot's eyes dart away. Hardison let's him go, indulging the gruff 'pretending to shake off the touch' Eliot does a second too late to be any kind of believable, and respectfully ignores the clearing of his throat and wiping at his eyes.

"We, uh..." Eliot turns to the door, fidgeting with the handle for a moment. "So, we'll talk. In San Lorenzo. When it's done?"

"When it's done."

Affirmation granted, Eliot darts out of the room. Hardison takes a few more minutes. Washes his face. Processes all the data thrown at him in the past few minutes as much as he can before filing it away for later. For 'when it's done.'

BONUS:

I feel like later, when they have their actual talk and Moreau is dealt with and both parties are a little more calm about it, Eliot is still like okay, I hear you, I understand that you don't need this to feel like we're square... but I do. Please.

And this time, knowing a little more of the whole story, Hardison is more comfortable accepting that like you know what, okay. If this is what you need, now that we've talked it out in a much less charged scenario and I can trust that you're in (more of) your right mind about this, okay. So long as you know I don't need this, that this is for you, and that if you need to stop early you swear you'll tell me.

Eliot probably rolls his eyes a bit at that like c'mon not even a full two minutes of getting choked out? He's had to go [absurd amount of time] without air in [equally absurd situation] in [obscure country], he'll be fine.

So Hardison sets a timer, and gently presses Eliot up against a wall, hands wrapping round his throat, Eliot's hands around his wrists - the deal is that he holds on for as long as he's good, if he let's go then so does Hardison - and he starts pressing in.

The whole scene is far softer and more intimate than either of them expected. They keep crazy intense but somehow still gentle eye contact almost the entire way through - the only exception being when Eliot's eyelids start to flutter a bit near the end, his grip loosening but not letting go - and when the time's up Eliot almost doesn't want Hardison to let go. He didn't even know that was a Thing for him. It had never been like that before, and like he said it's hardly his first time being choked... but something about trusting Hardison with that level of control... it makes him realize he maybe likes it a little too much. Putting his actual life in Hardison's hands in such a very physical, tangible way.

It kind of scares him, to be honest, how easily he'd be willing to let him do it again. And thinking about Hardison always leads to thinking about Parker, and thinking about Parker always leads to thinking about Parker's hands, and he realizes that he'd even trust "I hang off buildings by my fingertips" hand strength Parker to do it too... maybe even gets excited at the idea of it...

...and realizes he's well and truly screwed.

[nastybuckybarnes]

Deep End  -  Five

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Manipulation, Injuries, 

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: here we are, folks. What if I ended it like this lol that would be kinda gangsta of me LMAO

Deep End Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

You push open the front door with a heavy sigh, setting the paper grocery bags down on the counter then resting a hand on your growing belly.

There’s a tiny flutter under your hand and you can’t help yourself from smiling.

The smile vanishes, however, when a hand grabs at your shoulder and forces you to turn around.

“Where the Hell were you?” Steve’s angry voice demands.

You look up at him in shock and confusion, looking over at the groceries.

“I-I just went to the store.”

He shakes his head, grabbing your face with one hand and stepping closer. You take a step back with each one he takes towards you, and soon enough he’s got you pinned against the wall.

His grip on your face tightens and you wince, fear overwhelming your body, making your heart race.

“Bucky said he saw you talking to someone. A man. Who was he?”

You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes.

“H-He was just asking me about my pregnancy. When I'm due, if I know what I’m having.”

It’s nothing but the truth.

“I give you freedom and this is what you do? You go and flirt with other guys? You’re my property. Don’t forget that.”

Your tears fall down your cheeks and into his hand, but he doesn't let go. Even as your chest heaves and sobs bubble out of you, he stays glaring at you.

“Please, Steve, stop. Y-You’re hurting me!”

His jaw flexes and he slowly lets go, only to cage you against the wall, slamming his fist against it in the process.  

Your heart hammers in your chest, terror gripping you and freezing you in place as you remember what he did to Nat and her baby.

“I-I came home, didn’t I? I could’ve asked for help! Could’ve said something, but I didn’t. I’m here, again, even though I could’ve run away. I’m here. You have me! You have me.”

You slide down the wall, knees drawn up to your chest as you sob, the reality of your words and the fear doing a number on your emotions.

Steve’s anger slowly melts away, replaced with concern as he sees nothing but terror on your face.

“I-I didn’t mean to yell, honey. It’s okay, shh, come here.”

You don’t fight him as he pulls you into his arms and brings you upstairs into your bedroom, sitting you gently on the bed and pushing your hair away from your face.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, sweetheart I just... You gotta understand how nervous it makes me when you leave the house like that.”

You sniffle then slowly look up at him, your eyes bloodshot and tear-filled.

“Then why give me the freedom to leave?”

Your voice cracks and it makes his heart hurt.

“I... I want to trust you. That’s why.”

You take a few deep breaths, your eyes focused on your trembling hands as your heart starts to slow back to its normal rhythm.

“Ever since that night when Nat and Buck came over you’ve... you’ve been off. I’m worried about you, honey. I just wanna make sure that everything’s okay.”

He wants to know what Nat told you. What she said to have you acting like this.

Your eyes meet his, wet and full of fear as you whisper three words.

“Is it true?”

He has an idea what you’re referring to, and his heart picks up speed.

“Did...did you do it?”

He swallows hard and avoids your eyes, but that’s answer enough.

Some strange mixture of a gasp and a sob bubbles out of you, and you bring your hands up to cover your face as your shoulders start shaking again.

“I didn’t... I guess I did.” You sniffle and look up at him through your tears.

“If you want me to trust you... if you ever want any hope at having some semblance of normalcy, you’re gonna need to elaborate. I’m trying to play your little game but I just... I’m scared you’re gonna kill my baby too. That you’re gonna hurt Sarah.”

He shakes his head immediately, grabbing your hands and holding them softly in his.

“I would never hurt Sarah, or our new baby, okay? Natasha... she was becoming a liability. That being said, I didn’t go into it with the intention of hurting her baby but... I knew it could be a consequence.”

You wait for him to continue, your heart pounding loudly in your ears.

“When you burned the book... that wasn’t the only copy. Fury made sure there was at least one more, in case we ever needed it. Had his own group working on it, creating a new version of it. Natasha became a test subject long before I met you. Before I... took you.”

He drops his eyes and huffs out a sigh.

“We didn’t need to wipe her memory, we just... needed a way to make her more complacent. To make her realize that she can’t go off on her own and keep secrets like that. Especially when they involve you.”

Your chest heaves as you glare at him, your anger growing by the second.

“Did you kill her baby?”

The words are harsh like the crack of a whip, and he has to stop himself from flinching.

“It wasn’t my intention... but it was worth it.”

You choke on another sob, yanking your hands out of his grip.

“I didn’t know what the tea would do to her baby. It was just a mild sedative so we could get her to the facility and do the procedure. Get her to tell us where you were, where Sarah was. But then she... she started bleeding. I didn’t... I thought maybe it was just a side effect but then the doctors told us... (Y/n), you’ve gotta believe me. You need to know that I didn’t mean to...” he trails off and shakes his head, thinking about the niece or nephew that he could’ve had.

The son or daughter that he stripped Bucky of. The pain he inflicted upon Natasha. But he has you, so in the end, it was worth it.

You slowly look up at him, shaking your head.

“Why? You’ve done nothing but lie to me and hurt me. Why should I believe a word you’re saying?”

He swallows hard, reaching for your hand again only for you to yank it away once more.

“You want the truth? Fine. You’re not the first person that we’ve... taken. And I doubt you’ll be the last. Bucky... he had someone. Someone to help him control the soldier. But she turned out to be worse than him. We had to terminate her because she became a liability.”

He looks down at his hands, remembering how innocent she seemed. And then she snapped. Tried killing Nat and Bucky. Turned the redhead against them until Fury stepped in.

“Nat didn’t... agree with what we did. So we changed her mind.”

Your brows draw together in confusion.

He can’t mean... can he?

As if sensing your confusion, he elaborates.

“We didn’t do exactly the same procedure. But it... its function was the same. We needed her to forget certain things. To be our friend again while still remembering other things about the situation. And it worked. All I wanted to do this time was open her up to us again. Tell me where you and Sarah were. I never meant to hurt her baby.”

You shake your head furiously, tears dripping down your cheeks. “You’re a murderer. A disgusting monster. I hate you.” Your words are venomous and acidic, and Steve almost flinches at them, shaking his head.

“That’s not true, (Y/n). I love you.”

You laugh, the sound manic and for a moment Steve’s concerned.

“This isn’t love, Steve, this is obsession! It’s unhealthy! You’ve got me trapped here against my will! Y-You’ve hurt me and raped me and now I’m supposed to pretend everything’s okay? I’m supposed to play the good little housewife while you go around kidnapping and killing women? Killing other people’s children?! No!”

You stand up and try to move past him but he grabs hold of your forearm, rising to his feet with you.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His eyes are fiery as he glares at you, but you’re not nearly as afraid as you once were. No. You’re just angry.

You glare at him, rage burning through your body as you yank free from his grip and walk out of the room.

“You leave this house and I won’t hesitate to drag your ass right back!” He shouts.

But you don’t plan on leaving.

Oh no.

Why does he deserve his happy ending so much more than everyone else?

You turn to face him once you reach the top of the stairs, your heart in your throat at what you’re about to do. The damage it could cause.

At least it’ll get your point across.

“Why do you deserve a baby so much more than Natasha?” He furrows his brows, trying to figure out what your next move is going to be.

“I’ve given my life over and over for this stupid pathetic world. I’ve sacrificed my happiness time and time again. Do I not deserve something good?”

You take a deep breath and shrug.

“Maybe you do. But not like this.”

With that, you turn around and let yourself fall down the stairs.

Steve tries to grab you, he really does, but he’s just not fast enough.

He watches you fall, tumble down the stairs then lay still at the bottom, and for a moment all he can do is stare.

Memories fill his mind. Of you falling down the stairs. Then bleeding. So much blood. And your baby... gone.

He nearly falls down the stairs himself in his haste to get to you, two fingers pressing first to your pulse, then his hand is pressed against your belly, trying desperately to feel for the fluttering kicks you told him about.

It takes a minute, maybe two, and then he feels a small press against his hand.

He lets out a breath of relief then grabs his phone, calling the doctor.

~*~

When the doctor assures him that both you and the baby are okay, he’s relieved. But that only lasts for a moment before anger takes hold, powerful and persistent.

You can feel the anger rolling off of him when you wake up, and for a moment you’re afraid.

But hopefully, you got your point across.

He doesn’t deserve another baby. Not if that’s what he wants. He’s a terrible human being. And bringing a baby into the world with him as the father should be a crime.

“Where’s Sarah?” You ask, hoping to keep him as calm as possible.

“She’s having a sleepover with Morgan over at Tony and Pepper’s.”

You nod, your stomach dropping as you realize you’re alone in the house with him and he’s beyond pissed off.

Your mind races back to all the times he’s punished you in the past, and you almost throw up with the anxiety coursing through your veins.

“You ever do anything like that again and I swear I’ll make you regret it. I won’t kill you, no. My baby needs his mommy, but I’ll make you hurt. You’re lucky I’m not doing anything to you now.”

You swallow hard and look away from him in disgust, only for him to grab your jaw and force you to look at him.

“You need to stop acting out like this. I told you what happened to the last asset who became a liability. Fury shot her point-blank. A clean shot between her pretty eyes. Then he left her to bleed out on the bedroom floor while he fixed Nat’s memory. S’why she’s even still here and with Bucky. If she remembered what he did to that poor girl... she’d have killed him herself by now. But he needs to outlet to keep the soldier at bay. And he deserves her. Deserves some happiness in his fucked up life.”

You shake your head, disagreeing strongly with every word he’s spoken.

They're monsters. Natasha less so. A victim, like you, maybe. But the two soldiers? Monsters. Monsters who don’t deserve any happiness. They deserve nothing but a slow painful death and an eternity in the fiery pits of Hell.

“I told you, (Y/n), I didn’t mean to hurt her baby. If I’d wanted to, I’d be rubbing it in her face more. Showing off your pregnancy more. And if you think I’m gonna hurt our baby, you’re wrong. I would never hurt my babies. It kills me that you think I’d ever do something like that.”

“Can you blame me? You’ve already killed at least one baby.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks and you regret your words.

“You know what? I think you really need a reminder of your place, sweetheart. You’re mine. Maybe not my wife, yet, but soon enough. Until then, you need to know that you belong to me.”

His grip on your face is painful, but you don’t make a single sound.

No, he’s not going to win.

He doesn’t want to hurt the baby or cause unnecessary strain, so he can’t have you on your stomach like he usually would.

So he makes the most of you lying on your back.

He grabs your wrists and binds them above your head, hooking them to the ring on the headboard despite your struggles.

“Steve, no! Please! I-I... Don’t hurt me, please!”

He cocks his head to the side, watching you wriggle and strain.

“You’re mine, (Y/n). You belong to me. There’s no one in this entire world who’ll help you. You’re my property. It’s time you realized that.”

A sick smile spreads across his face as he remembers what made you obedient last time.

“You know, I think I know exactly what you need.”

He climbs off the bed and drops to his knees, rooting under it until he finds his special black box.

You wriggle away furiously, trying to break free before he can hurt you, but deep down you know it’s all for not.

You squeeze your eyes shut as he sits back down on the bed, worming his way between your thighs and flipping your dress up over your extended stomach.

“Please don't,” you whimper uselessly.

He strokes your inner thighs gently, then leans down to spit on your centre.

You flinch away, tears leaking from your eyes as you realize what he’s going to do.

“Please don’t,” you repeat, only to be silenced by him pushing something far too big inside of you.

You cry out, your back arching and sending shoots of pain up to your scalp. The added weight of your baby makes everything ten times more painful, and you can't stop yourself from sobbing as he forces every last inch of the thick dildo into your unprepared cunt.

It burns. Fire spreads from between your legs up your spine and the tears don’t stop.

“Stop! Please! I’ll be good!” He knows you won’t. Or, he just doesn't believe you. You want the pain to stop but you’re not actually willing to change your behaviour for it. Not yet. But you will.

When the dildo is finally fully inside you, he climbs off the bed and shoves the box back underneath it. He adjusts his pants then walks to the door, pausing to look at your trembling figure on the bed.

Your shoulders shake with sobs, and he feels pride swell inside of him.

Good. Now you’ll finally learn.

“You’re gonna stay here until you learn your place. I don’t care how long it takes. When you’re ready to apologize and be a good girl, then we’ll talk. But until then...” He shuts off the light and pulls the door closed behind him, leaving you alone, in pain, and in the dark.

Memories of the last time this happened stab at your brain, and you quickly start hyperventilating.

What’s worse than that, though, is the tiny voice in your head telling you to get off your back. That it’s not good for the baby if you stay like this.

But no matter how much you scream or cry for him, Steve doesn’t come to the door once.

~*~

He leaves you there for hours, or maybe days. It’s so hard to tell.

The room is soundproof, so no one can hear your cries and you can’t hear anything outside.

Even if people could hear you, it doesn’t really matter now.

You’ve been on your back for so long that you’re starting to get dizzy.

During your first pregnancy, you learned only that it’s bad for the baby to sleep on your back. You didn’t think you’d be feeling the effects of it, too.

But here you are, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, mind spinning and lungs struggling to pull in enough air to satisfy you.

It must’ve been several hours ago that Steve left if you’re feeling such strong effects of it. You’re not sure what the technical term is, but you know that you probably don’t have much time left. Your baby has even less.

Your heart aches. Each beat makes sadness bloom in your soul and you can’t stop it.

New tears fall down your cheeks, and all you want is to reach down and caress your belly, apologize to the life growing inside of you.

Apologize for hurting them, for who their father is. For the life you’re bringing them into.

Nobody deserves that.

But now... now you might not have to worry.

Every passing second sends the walls around you spinning faster and faster and faster until all you can do is let your eyes fall closed.

Sleeping will probably make it better anyway, right?

As the darkness creeps up, seeps into your limbs and chases the pain away, you pray.

You’ve never really prayed much before, but you do today.

You send a prayer to any and all Gods, the old ones and the new, and you ask for forgiveness.

You pray for the safety of your unborn child, and for that of Sarah.

A deep part of your brain knows that you may never open your eyes, and you want your daughter to know that you love her. That she means the world to you and you’ll do all that you can to protect her.

Thinking about Sarah brings a wave of strength seemingly out of nowhere, and for a moment you wonder if the Gods heard you. If this is them sending their aid.

You take a few deep breaths, building up as much strength as you can, and try your luck one last time.

“I’m sorry.”

Your voice isn’t nearly as loud as it should be, and the room is so thickly padded that there’s no way he can hear you.

Hopelessness floods your body and you fall into it.

Your sorrow distracts you from the darkness until it takes hold of you and pulls you down, away from the world of pain that you’ve been trapped in.

And you feel peace.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

I Need You

A/N: This was found on Pinterest, so if you're the owner, let me know so I can give you the credits.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader

Word count: 2 K

Requested by anons: 1- I'm like super in love with a certain Daryl Dixon and I was wondering if you could write about them getting into a big argument and they like avoid eachother for a while (super angsty if you care lol) and then Carol and Rick just kinda make yall talk and it ends fluffy? 2 - Can i request a daryl x reader where the reader’s been with the group since atlanta, maybe set during when they’re at the prison?? daryl realizes he has a crush on the reader and just p a n i c s ? and just really sweet fluff????

Summary: After you almost get bit, Daryl loses his mind and lashes out on you. Tired of the constant arguments, the group finds a way to out you two together to try and fix things up.

{The Walking Dead Masterlist}

×

“Yer almost got bit!” Daryl shouts, voice echoing through the prison. “Yer too damn stubborn, yer not goin’ on runs anymore.” He has his back at you as you follow him, struggling to keep his pace.

“I had everything under control.” You complain, ignoring Carol's questioning stare.

You, Daryl, and Maggie went on a run earlier today. Not too far, just to get some more formula for Judith. A walker fell from the roof, and it happened to be on a specific place Daryl told you not to go. The thing's teeth got a little too close to your arm, and Daryl shot an arrow through its head.

“Ya sure did!” He stops, turning around and pointing a finger at you. “If I weren't near ya, I'd be carryin’ ya back here with a freakin’ bite.” His voice gets louder, and you never saw Daryl so... Angry. So pissed. He's scaring you. “Or would ya have me cut her damn arm off? How does that sound?”

“Stop yelling at me!” You burst out, giving his chest a push.

“I'll stop yellin’ when ya understand how stupid and dangerous that was!” He steps forward, towering over you and you never felt so small.

“We needed those antibiotics!”

“Well, I freakin’ need ya. I need ya alive! Alive and well and breathin’.” Daryl shouts, right at your face. But the moment the words come out, he stops, stepping back. He seems confused, taken aback by something. “Screw that, I need a break from savin’ yer ass.” And then, he leaves, walking fast.

Huffing, you turn around, going to your cell.

You take the longest shower you can, washing the sweat and all the disgusting things the dead left on your skin. But most of the time, you were already done, dressed, and dried. You just wanted to be away from everyone. But eventually, you have to walk out. And of course, Carol finds you on your way back to your cell.

“(Y/N), I–”

“Daryl is such an asshole.” You say cutting her off and dropping on bed. “Did you see that? Did you see how he yelled at me? As if he has the right to do so.” Getting back up you pace around.

“I just think–”

“You know what? He can go to hell.” Throwing both hands in the air, you complain. “He and his crossbow, and-and his super hot stare and the stupid angel wings vest. And the bike too. All it. Straight to hell!”

“Aren't you just–”

“Uhg! Damn it.” Crossing your arms, you sigh. “Did you hear him forbidding me to go on runs?” With your hands now on your hips, you stare at Carol. “As if! Who the hell does he think he is? My boyfriend? To hell with him.”

“Will you let me talk?”

“Sure, go ahead.” Shrugging your shoulders, you nod.

But she doesn't say anything, she just takes a deep breath and shakes her head lightly. “Look, why don't you calm down first, and then we talk.” Carol gestured at the bed and you sit down, sighing. “Good... Try to relax and deal with it after a good night's sleep.”

“I could sleep a thousand years and I'd still be mad at Daryl.” You mutter as she leaves, lying on your back with your eyes closed.

You don't know where all this anger comes from, but it's always there, waiting to flow out. You do care about him, maybe too much, but it doesn't mean he gets to yell and boss you around like that. “Asshole!” You shout one last time, arms crossing as you drown in anger.

“I saw it,” Daryl exclaims, pacing around the guard tower, breathing and talking fast. “I saw her dyin’. I saw that thing bitin’ her, tearin’ her flesh.”

“She's fine, Daryl. You don't have to keep thinking about it.” Rick tries to calm him down, both hands raised at the archer.

“No, ya don't understand.” It's useless though. Daryl is a mess. He got into the shower as soon as (Y/N) got out, rubbing the walker's blood out of his skin. But after that, he went straight to Rick because he needs to vent. He needs to yell and understand why he feels so damn scared.

Why he feels like a switch was turned on, lighting up something that was there all along, but only now was brought to light.

Losing anyone from his group, from his family would hurt bad.

But he just found out that losing her would be far worse.

“I her dyin’, man.” He slows down, both hands on his head. “I saw her dyin’ and–”

“You love her.”

“What the hell, Rick?” He snaps, a hand violently gesturing at his friend.

“You might not want to admit it, but it's true. You know it.” Rick nods, a hand casually resenting on his holster. “We all know it since Atlanta. She loves you too.”

Daryl grunts, turning his back at Rick. “Yer crazy. And so is she.”

“You should sit and talk like civilized people.”

“I ain't gonna talk to her. Crazy chick.” He mutters, grabbing his crossbow a bit tighter. “She ain't goin’ on runs anymore. At least not without me.”

“Daryl–”

“Gotta go.” The archer cuts him off, leaving the guard tower at a fast pace.

He didn't like the ideas Rick put in his head.

“Rick wants to make a room for Carl and Judith on the second floor,” Carol says as you climb the stairs next to her. “So we're cleaning up the cells.”

“Alright.” You don't really want to help. Not today at least. The nap you took didn't help much with the last issue, and you're considering going out tomorrow, just to clear your head a bit. “What do you need me to do?”

“We're just setting things up.”

“Mmm.” You mutter, running a hand through your hair as you follow her pace. Carol takes you to the very back of the corridor, to a pretty isolated cell. “You gonna put the kids here? This cell sucks. It's too–” You stop talking when you see Daryl inside, eyes-rolling. “Look, I won't help if he helps.” It sounds childish, but you don't care. You're far too pissed at the man to be near him.

“Look, I don't care if you guys argued.” Rick walks over you, friendly touching your arm. “You two just have to get your shkt together.” And you're suddenly pushed, almost stumbling inside the cell.

“What the hell?” You shout, but the moment you move, Rick pulls the bars close locking you inside. “Rick, drop it. I'm not joking.” Holding the bars, you shoot him and Carol an angry stare. “Open up.”

“There are blankets and dinner will be brought to you,” Carol says, arms crossed. “We did that because it's the only way to force you guys to talk.”

“Yeah. You'll have the whole night to figure out whatever has you both always at each other's throat.” Rick adds, sliding the key into his pocket. “Have a nice time.”

And like that, both jerks leave, talking something you can't hear. Sighing, you lay your forehead on the cold metal bars, not wanting to look at your company for the night.

“Yer can take the bed.” He says after a while.

“Obviously.” You're quick to snap. “It's your fault we're here in the first place.”

“How's that?”

“If you didn't come back from the run making a hell of a show about something that didn't even happen, we wouldn't be locked up in here.” Turning around, with both hands on your hips, you stare at him.

“If ya had listened to me, ya wouldn't have–”

“And why in the hell do I have to listen to you, Dixon? I know my way out there as well as you do.”

“ ‘Cause I jus’ wanna keep ya safe.” He's yelling again, stepping forward.

“Stop acting like I mean anything to you!” With a finger on his face, you move closer to him. You wish you could look intimidating, but being so small, that's very difficult.

“Maybe ya do mean somethin’ ta’ me! How could ya know that if ya never ask!”

“Well, I–” The answer is cut short when your furious brain processes what he just said. Furrowing your eyebrows together, you shrug your shoulders. “What do you mean?”

“Nothin’.”

“Daryl, what do you mean?” Raising your voice again, you follow him as he moves further into the cell. “What would you answer if I ask?”

“I ain't gonna answer.”

“Daryl–”

“I ain't gonna answer!” He shouts again, turning around to look at you.

Taking a deep breath, you sit on the edge of the bed, folding a leg under you. “Do you hate me?”

“What?”

“Do you hate me, Daryl?” Your voice is lower now because you do want to know.

He remains silent for a while, those blue eyes locked on yours. “No.”

“Then why–”

“I can't lose ya.” He bursts out, eyes now looking at the floor. “At that moment back there, I... I saw it happenin’. I saw ya dyin’, and I... I can't lose ya. I can't see ya gettin’ hurt.”

His voice is so low you can barely hear it. You've never seen Daryl so... Scared. Vulnerable. “You can't protect me all the time, Daryl. Accidents happen.”

“I can. I can keep ya safe if ya listen to me.” You're about to protest when Daryl comes to sit next to you, eyes on the wall across the cell. “I know ya can survive out there. But my mind works in a thousand different ways ta’ get stuff done without anyone gettin’ hurt. I need ya ta’ trust me. Ta’ believe I can keep ya safe.”

“But I need you to believe me too. To believe I can do this.” Turning your body towards him, you friendly touches his arm. “Daryl, I... I like you... A lot. And I admire you, I trust you. You taught me so much and I need you to trust me. I promise I'll be more careful, but I need you to–”

“Don't go out there without me.” He suddenly says, voice heavy. “I trust ya. Yer brave and strong. But if ya go out there and I can't keep my eyes on ya... I'll lose my damn mind.”

“Alright.” Nodding, you sigh, smiling a little. “Just don't yell at me again, Daryl Dixon.”

“Yer almost died and I... Damn it, (Y/N), –”

“I like you too, Dixon.” Standing up to your feet, you smile, looking down at him. “You don't have to say if you don't want to, just... Let's get this over with. The world is a freaking mess and if you like me and I like you we should be together.” You can't believe you're saying this, after so long. But it feels good. You feel good, secure. “Just let me know what you want.”

“Ya.”

“Me?”

“Yeah.” He nods, blue eyes locked on yours.

“Alright.” Mirroring his head movement, you clear your throat, cheeks burning. After a few seconds of silence, you walk to the bars. “RICK! CAROL! Daryl and I are dating now, can we go?” You yell, and the low chattering downstairs goes silent.

“Would it be so bad ta' stay locked in here with me for a night?” Daryl asks, and you turn around, biting your lip to hold back a smile.

“Absolutely not.” Shrugging your shoulders, you slowly move to the bed, climbing on and lying down. “I'm actually sleepy and it's cold so it'll be nice to have someone to warm me up at night.”

“Don't push it.”

“I'm not.” Giggling, you feel as he lies down, close enough so his shoulder is touching your back. “Night, D. It was good to sort things out with you.”

“Good night, pretty girl.” He mutters and you smile, eyes closing and sleep easily overcoming you, thanks to the amazing feeling of having Daryl lying next to you.

[huihuiheart]

Unchained - Wolf! Bang Chan

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Stray Kids Masterlist

Pairing: Wolf Hybrid! Chan x Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, smut

Summary: You knew your boyfriend was likely up to no good, but you assumed it was just a slight drug problem or something of the sort. At least, until he takes you with him, something you agree to only to know what kind of man you’re dating. Only to find out it’s much worse than you think, he’s been helping kidnap hybrids for illegal underground fights. Something you can’t stomach, but you also can’t just do nothing...which is exactly what the authorities would do. So you decide to break the hybrids out before you leave, only in the process you may end up stuck with a hybrid of your own.

Warnings: Hybrid Fights, Violence, aggression, domestic abuse? (an ex gets a little rough/aggressive), blood, slight gore, underground fighting, mentions of kidnapping, drugs, alcohol, betting, mentions of death, cops/detectives, gun fights, bullet wounds, unprotected sex, cursing, biting, marking (kind of, briefly mentioned), clothes ripping, Chan is impatient, and somewhat feral, bondage, oral (f! receiving), overstimulation, spanking, choking (slight).

Word Count: 14,754

Note: The story starts with you and your soon to be ex, it takes a little bit for Chan to show up...once he does though, oh boy....

Taglist: @lovesfaith​ @blessgguk​

Taeho had been your boyfriend for a long time, years in fact. That’s how you knew as soon as something was up with him. At first, you had assumed it was just something temporary, a lapse in self-control brought on by the stress of his daily life. Which is why you’d kept quiet and to yourself, to begin with, as long as you weren’t having to clean up behind the problem and he wasn’t bringing it home you assumed everything would be okay, and that it wouldn’t be long for him to return to his normal self again.

Only, this all started six months ago and it seemed that if anything whatever it was only got worse. He disappeared more often or showed up at odd times of the night without warning. He never brought any signs of what he was doing home to you, leaving you to wonder if he was cleaning up at his own apartment before surfacing again or if he got into something you hadn’t quite considered before.

Whatever it was, you weren’t sure that you could continue to live in mystery. It was killing you inside not knowing if he’d even show up again or if he’d be dead. Or what if you got a call from the authorities saying he had gotten into trouble while drunk or high. You needed to know what was happening to know if he needed professional help or if you could at least talk some sense into him, for your own sake just as much as his. So you sent the text, asking him to come over to talk while you collect your thoughts.

Taeho comes in and smiles at you as he sets his keys down and gets settled in your familiar apartment, “Hey babe, what was it you wanted to talk about?” 

You take a shaky breath, willing yourself to find your earlier confidence again now, “I wanted to talk about how you’re sneaking around all the time now. It worries me.”

Taeho pouts a little, before chuckling and coming over to squish your cheeks some, “Are you worried I’m cheating on you baby? I could never. You don’t have to worry about that one bit.”

“I wasn’t worried about that being what it was.” You frown slightly at how dismissive he seems to be about the whole thing, “My thing is just that if you’re having to sneak around then whatever it is you probably shouldn’t be doing. I’m worried that whatever it is will cause bigger problems and maybe you won’t come home one day or something. So what is it? Drugs? Alcohol? You can tell me...”

Taeho sighs, pulling away slightly to run a hand through his hair, “You’re right, it’s not exactly legal. It’s not like that though baby, it’s not an addiction. It’s no big deal either, it’s just a way I can make more money for our future. So don’t you worry your pretty little head about a thing, okay?” 

“If it wasn’t a big deal you’d trust me with the details, instead of hiding everything from me and leaving me to have a heart attack when you show up at four in the morning.” You counter firmly, not having any of his excuses.

“How about this? I’ll think about it, and when I leave today I’ll leave your key. That way I can’t get in and scare you in the middle of the night? I have to give you advance warning then?” Taeho bargains and you can’t find it in yourself to argue, nodding softly, and letting things seemingly return to normal for the evening.

It had been about a week after your conversation with Taeho that you got the text. The one where he finally conceded to your wishes. Though now as you read and reread over the arrangement your gut twisted, not sure if this was such a great idea. What exactly had you gotten yourself into? 

Still, you were insistent on figuring out if your boyfriend needed help or not, and there was no way you could do that at home without any of the details. So you got ready, throwing on something simple, just jeans and a hoodie in hopes of being able to be somewhat hidden wherever you ended up. Though you weren’t sure if that would be possible, maybe just being with Taeho would draw attention to you. Either way, it was too late to go back now as Taeho let you know he was at your building. 

Getting into the passenger seat you could swear Taeho could hear your pounding heart. He paused looking at you for a moment as if debating himself if he was actually going to do this, before sighing softly and starting the car up again.

“You don’t have to come, you know. Once you know about this, there’s no going back. You can’t claim you were never involved anymore, if someone finds out you know stuff you could get into serious trouble. Otherwise, you have to stay quiet about it okay?” Taeho looks you firmly in the eyes as if warning you of what was to come. You simply nod though, staying quiet and unmoved waiting for him to drive off.

After about fifteen or so minutes he pulls into an empty lot near a metro station, turning the car off and getting out. Gesturing for you to follow his lead as he heads down into the station, one you weren’t familiar with as this wasn’t considered the best part of town.

“Stay close, or there might be some trouble,” Taeho whispers, offering you his hand to take as you go down and into the station, standing on the platform. 

You quickly notice that there’s no station security here, only one or two homeless and no one else. Taeho waits for the next train to pass, before jumping down onto the tracks and holding his arms out to help you down as well. You’re hesitant, more so now than before with your location, but follow him. 

Taeho notices and tries to ease you some, “Don’t worry, the cameras here are down and the next train doesn’t come for a half-hour. We'll be fine.”

His insistence leads you to follow him down the track in the direction that the train came from until you find a little maintenance platform hidden in the side of the tunnel. He helps you up before following, into the little abandoned inlet, opening the door and leading down the stairs to a basement section. Leading you through a few turns until you came to a door with a man standing outside, no doubt guarding it against any unwanted visitors. 

“Hey Jeup, she’s with me.” Taeho nods to the man who looks over you for a moment, before getting the door for you both and stepping aside to let you in.

Slipping down one last set of stairs you’re in a dimly lit large room, the center area spotlighted as crowds form around it. Money and drinks being thrown around. You spot more than one questionable substance in the area. Three men walking over to you and your boyfriend.

“Hey Taeho, I wasn’t sure you were gonna make it.” The man leading them chuckles and claps your boyfriend on the back, “And you brought a guest.”

“You know I wouldn’t miss this match, it’s big and it’s my fighter. Of course, I’d be here.” Taeho chuckles and you feel your stomach churning as you start to put some of the pieces together. “Yeah, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Jian, and this is Ungjae and Changbin. They’re two of my best. Though your boyfriend certainly brings in a pretty penny too, he’s found me some of the best fighters. Gotta keep the crowds entertained after all.” The man laughs a little, the other men smirking. 

You feel slightly relieved knowing that it won’t be your boyfriend who is fighting, but still, you have an unsettling feeling about this. You knew that underground fights of any sort were bad news, your lack of details about these only worrying you further. Did they even have any care about rules here?

“She’s kinda shy and new to all this.” Taeho jokes with the men, slipping his arm around your middle. 

“Well, we’ll be seeing you around Y/N. We have a fight to get set up though.” Ungjae nods before the three leave through the crowd. 

That very crowd parting for you and your boyfriend as you come through, people recognizing Taeho, “ If you don’t want to look then just tell me, but otherwise you need to keep quiet.” 

His whisper is harsh in your ear, yet you can barely make it out over the commotion that the crowd is giving as another man slips into the center area to announce the upcoming right as two others push large covered cages into the area. You feel the sickening feeling in your gut bubbling up at just what you’re about to witness. Assuming it would be some kind of fight between animals, ones you might not be able to look at the same way again after today. 

The feeling only gets worse though when the cages are uncovered to reveal two hybrids, their names being announced through the microphone the man is holding. The names mean nothing to you though, even if you could have made them out over the pounding of your heart in your ears. The crowd seems to love it, however, the fighters being two of the big ones here. A wolf hybrid on the left and a lion hybrid on the right. 

“Chan, the wolf hybrid is mine.” Your boyfriend whispers, before sighing as he sees your frightened, or rather appalled look, “Don’t be like that baby...they’re just animals, not like us. If you really can’t stomach it though, go to the back and buy a drink. I’ll get you when it’s over.” 

You shake your head slightly, not sure what you’re going to do. When Chan looks over though, and into your eyes, you almost feel like you’re going to cry. Leaving back through the crowd to go find a drink like Taeho suggested, knowing there was no way you’d be able to stomach what was about to happen. You also weren’t sure there would be a way to stop it either though. 

You down your drink quickly, hoping that along with the cheers of the crowd will be enough to drown out the sounds of the fight. You’re out of luck though as the growls, cries, snapping of jaws, and bones sound clearly through the room. There no way you could drown that out, or the guilt gnawing at you, yet what could you possibly do? You were clearly outnumbered and out forced by people who saw no problems with any of this. Plus you knew the authorities rarely gave more than a slap on a wrist to people who mistreated hybrids. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realize someone was coming over to you.

“You can’t stomach it, can you?” Changbin asks leaning against the bar near you, “It’s okay, neither can I.”

Your brows furrow as you look at him, “Then why are you even here?”

Changbin leans in and sends you a flash inside his jacket, where a badge is hidden, before moving to whisper to you, “I’m undercover...hybrid division...and I’m trusting you by letting you know this because I can tell you don’t belong here and I don’t want you to end up in any worse of a situation. So if you’re willing to listen to me, then we’ll help each other out here. Okay?”

You glance back into the crowd to ensure that Taeho is still occupied before nodding at Changbin, “Okay, but what can I possibly do to help you?”

“Well...I’m not going to lie and say it’ll be easy or safe...but I’m hoping you’ll help me break the hybrids out. I can’t get it authorized by higher-ups yet, because this ring is bigger than just what you see today. We still need information, so I can’t risk exposing my identity to them.” Changbin starts, taking a turn at checking to see if you two had drawn attention, “I have a copy of the keys to their cages though and on the back way out you’ll pass by them. What I want you to do is break up with Taeho or at least just insist he point you the way out, it’s crucial he doesn’t go with you. Then get as many cages open on your way out, but be quick. Afterward, call me and let me know everything is okay. I’ll have someone check in as protection just in case. Whatever you do though...don’t take any of the hybrids to your house. Can you do that?” 

You debate with yourself for a moment, not sure if you could follow through with what he was asking. At the end of the day though, you’d managed to follow through on getting yourself into this situation and you couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. You find yourself nodding again, holding your hand out for Changbin to slip the keys and paper with his number into. Items that you’re quick to hide in your pockets. Everyone thoroughly invested in the fight as it comes to a roaring end. The fight was closer than anyone could have predicted, as the cheers exploded and the winner helped back into his cage...what’s left of the loser being carted off who knows where. Changbin disappears into the crowd before anyone loses interest in the ring and spots you two talking, leaving it up to you at this point.

"Babe! I won! My fighter won! Plus I bet on him, do you understand how much I just made for us?" Taeho comes over and tries to crush you in an excited hug, only to be confused as you push his arms away. "What is it, what's wrong?"

"I...I can't be here right now...I can't be with you....not knowing that you're doing this. I...I need to leave right now and I don't want you with me...ever." You get out backing up as you shake your head.

Taeho sighs and advances towards you, "Come on baby, there just animals, what does it matter?"

You scoff, "You say that like it makes it better? If you were dogfighting I'd still be disgusted in you. Besides the only person acting like an animal here is you. Now point me the way out and don't show your face to me again."

Taeho shakes his head pointing towards the back like Changbin had earlier, "If you go that way it's a straight shot out. Don't expect me to just drop this conversation though. I'll give you time and then we're gonna talk about it. I can't just not talk to you about it."

You knew you didn't want that, but you were afraid of what the repercussions of making a scene right now might be. So you simply nodded, shoulders slumping in defeat as you headed out the door leading to the back way out. Creeping your way through the damp hallways, the smell of mold and sewage rampant but something you ignored as you came to the first cage. Checking around once more before quickly unlocking it and starting to work your way through the room hoping to get them all. You were almost done when you heard the sound of voices approaching, signaling that you were about out of time. Turning to leave your eyes locked with the same pair from the ring, only now they held slightly less life in them. Chan having been torn up pretty badly in the fight he'd just been in. Looking like he likely stood no chance if you left him here to face off what would no doubt be an infection in one if not many of his wounds later.

So you worked fast to open the cage, ignoring the growl from the wolf hybrid as you moved to help him out. You knew he likely hated you and for good reason, you were a stranger in this environment that had only brought him suffering and pain. You could worry about the dangers of helping him later though. For now, you just needed to get the two of you out...and fast.

“I promise I’m trying to get you someplace better than this, but if they get us then we’re both dead. So I’m gonna need you to help me out.” You whisper to Chan as you slip his arm around your shoulders, your own going around his center to help him out. Moving as quickly as the two of you can ignore Chan’s grumbles as the voices get louder and start to sound somewhat pissed, worrying you that they’d caught onto your acts.

Slipping out the back entrance you make your way down the street, tossing the keys you’d used in some random trash can so that if they caught up to you no one would find any proof you’d done what you had. You were starting to panic though, Chan needed help...you couldn’t just leave him. Yet, Changbin had explicitly said not to take any of the hybrids back to your house. Doing the only thing you could think, you used your free hand to try and call him on the number he gave you, slipping into an alleyway to let Chan sit down to rest. 

Changbin taking long enough to answer that you weren’t quite sure he would pick up, “Are you alright Y/N? Is something wrong?”

“Changbin, I got all the cages open...but one of them was hurt from the fight...I think you called him Chan. I helped him get out, he needs more though... I’m worried he’s gonna die or something if I leave him. What should I do?” You whimper over the phone taking turns watching between the street and Chan for his well-being.

“You didn’t take him to your house, did you? They have trackers Y/N...if they spot him at your house there’s going to be a whole slew of problems.” Changbin panics over the phone as you hear a car door close, “In fact where are you? I’m on my way to help.”

“I’m still close to the station...too close I’m afraid. In an alleyway.” You urge Chan up again before he can get any worse helping him to slip out the alley and start away again.

“I’m sending you directions now, to a doctor who specializes in hybrids and a friend of mine. Start heading there, I’ll follow the same path and when we cross I’ll pick you and Chan up.” Changbin says, starting up his car, “Oh and Y/N...be careful. I’ll be there soon.” 

When he hangs up, you pull up his directions starting to follow them as Chan grumbles again making you sigh, “Listen...be as bitchy and growly as you want later, but right now your life and mine are on the line so shut it and just come with to the doctor so he can help you.”

“I never asked for anyone’s help. Especially not yours, so why don’t you just run along now to someone who actually gives a fuck. It’s not like you really did anything for me. Fight to live in there or fight to live out here, what’s the real difference.” Chan snaps at you, his harshness stinging slightly despite you knowing it’s his history with people and not you specifically. 

“I’m not just going to leave you to die! I don’t care if I have to drag you there I will, but I don’t think that either of us wants that.” You insist already somewhat dragging him along, despite him holding some of his weight still.

“Why the hell not? Why would you possibly want to help me? Do you want a little pet or something? Cause that’s not happening princess.” Chan scoffs waiting for you to announce some underlying motive behind your actions.

“Because I couldn’t live with myself if I just left you. It’s not right. Leaving someone who’s hurt...who you can help all alone to suffer and die. I’m not someone who wants you for a pet. I want you to have a life, which is definitely not on the table if you die. So let’s get you your health back first and then worry about any other obstacles to you getting a full life after that’s resolved, okay?” You don’t get a verbal response from Chan, considering he had no idea what to say. Not used to being treated like an actual person before, his heart softening some at your conviction, it proving you truly had pure intentions. You get some form of an answer though when he straightens up slightly, cooperating further in your helping him.

Chan’s body language changed again though when Changbin pulled up, not trusting him in the least. His gut trusted you, however, and that’s what won out, convincing him to get into the back of the car with you. Letting Changbin drive you two off to an unfamiliar place. One he also was not fond of with how sterile and medical it smelled, only used to that from whenever those who fought them needed something done...like putting in the tracker that was now going to need to be taken out.

“Minho! We need help! He has a tracker though, so take care of that first and give it to me...I’ll make sure you all have plenty of time here.” Changbin calls into the clinic another man popping out to lead the way.

Minho makes quick work of the tracker in Chan’s arm, handing it to Changbin who runs off with it after apologizing for getting you into this mess and leaving you and Chan to find another way home. Before Minho is laying Chan back and getting things ready, putting in a drip iv since he was both dehydrated and it was the best way to give him painkillers at this point. 

“He’s going to need someone to look out for him while he recovers,” Minho tells you, starting to stitch up an injury. Chan watches him closely, wary of the situation while he slowly starts to fade out of consciousness due to the meds.

“I can keep an eye on him, I might not do a perfect job but I’ll try my best.” You nod at Minho before smiling at Chan, “You just rest up now, and get better. It’ll all be okay, I promise.”

Chan’s not sure where he is or how much time has passed. all he knows is his eyelids are heavy and his brain foggy. Trapped in a haze from the meds the previous night, yet fighting past it as the smell of food wafted throughout the apartment. His brows furrowing as he sits up, in an unfamiliar bed at that. Not that he was used to any bed, even still knowing that this was someone else’s set his nerves ablaze. 

What calmed him though was picking up your scent, this was your bed...yet your scent wasn’t strong enough to imply you slept beside him last night. His assumption confirmed as he looked around and spotted a much less comfortable-looking armchair converted into a makeshift bed while a fit aid kit sat on the night table between the chair and where he slept. 

Chan is slow about getting out of bed, being careful of his injuries and the remaining effect of the medicine, yet unable to ignore the call of food. Letting it lead his way to where you were working in the kitchen, mouth-watering at both the sight and the smell as he watched you closely. He wondered to himself if he’d have to sneak any of that for himself though, would you share with him or would you give him something less grand like everyone had before. He couldn’t deny that you treated him differently, yet everyone had their limits...didn’t that?

“Are you feeling alright?” You ask, having spotted him when you finally looked up, “If you’re in pain you can sit down and I can get you something for that really quick. The food is almost done anyway since you shouldn’t take them on an empty stomach.” 

“I’m feeling alright at the moment actually, better than after most fights like this to be honest.” Chan admits quietly, slowly stepping closer, “Is that for me too?”

You chuckle and nod, “Yeah, there’s no way I can eat all this by myself. Besides I thought that a good high protein breakfast would help you get some of your energy back and help you recover some more. Sound good?” 

“That sounds...that sounds amazing. Thank you.” Chan is flabbergasted, practically in awe of your attitude towards him. As if he was just any other person to you.

“Alright go sit then, don’t strain your injuries. I’ll bring it to you in a minute.” You shoo him away with a smile. Chan’s face is graced with a tiny smile of his own as he moves to listen without much fight for once, looking around to take everything in as he sits at the table. Joined by you with the food after not too long.

“If you’re still hungry afterward I can always make more or you can help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen. Just try not to eat too fast. Minho said sometimes the meds can make your stomach a little sensitive and I don’t think it would be good if you got sick right now.” You advise him as you take your seat, “So...I never actually asked, what’s your name?”

Chan’s brows furrow as he looks up at you after quickly shoveling his first bite of food in, “I mean you know what they called me...Chan...”

You shrug, eating some of your food, ”Yeah, well that’s not what I asked is it? I didn’t ask what they called you, I asked what your name was.”

“Christopher...my name is Christopher.”

The day seemed to pass fairly well, Chan slowly getting more comfortable in your apartment, not that you minded. You encourage him to rest from time to time and let him clean up and put on some clothes you’d run out and gotten for him. Occasionally checking your phone to see if any news came up about what you had done or Changbin texted you anything just in case.

You knew something would come up from last night though you would be naïve to think otherwise. Especially after what Taeho had told you before you left. The chaos coming crashing back into your peaceful little bubble when a fist pounds against your door. Chan’s eyes darkening as he looks over at it, already recognizing the scent on the other side.

“Y/N! Open this door right fucking now! We need to talk!” Taeho yells through the door, making you tense and panic. Your hands shake slightly as you give Chan your phone.

“Chris, take this and text Changbin what’s happening, he’ll send help. Go hide in my room or something, don’t let him know you’re here, or that information might get out.” You whisper to him, knowing that he’d have no problems hearing you. 

Chan debates for a moment, not wanting to leave you...especially if you were going to face your pissed-off ex-boyfriend. Yet, he knew it would be better if the information about what you had done didn’t get out. For your sake, as much as his, he knew these were dangerous people, and Taeho was by no means the worst of them. So he went and disappeared into your room, texting Changbin, who he still didn’t necessarily trust, but if it would help and keep you safe he would do it.

You crack the door open and sigh softly at Taeho, “What the hell do you want? I thought you said you’d give me time before showing up to talk about this again?”

Taeho huffs, forcing the door open, not caring if it stays that way as he advances on you, “Yeah, well that’s before you made the dumbass decision to break all of them out.” 

You back up as he moves closer, body language screaming aggression, and you hope you can either convince him to leave or help gets here before anything can happen, “What are you even talking about, Taeho?”

“Right after you left, all the hybrids were broken out. You really want to tell me that wasn’t you? After you were oh so disgusted by what was going on? I go out and make us good money, and you turn around and do this to me...well guess what, now it’s my ass on the line, so you better start talking before I turn it around onto you. I will throw you to the wolves if I have to for my own sake.” Taeho hisses, backing you against a wall with no way out.

“Sure, I was disgusted, but how would I even have managed to get them out, Taeho? Huh? They were in cages. What could I do?” You counter trying to push him off, but he doesn’t budge.

“They were, and then someone changed that. I’m guessing it was you, considering everyone else there has been there for a good while.” Taeho shoves you back against the wall.

“Once again, how would I have opened the fucking cages, Taeho? What? Did I just see some bolt cutters lying around and decide to take matters into my own hands?” You purposely throw out a made-up way of opening the cages, and it gets him to give you a little space to breathe at least.

“No...they were open with keys.” Taeho’s voice softens slightly, taking a step back enough to let your now sore back finally come off the wall.

“How would I have gotten my hands on those keys? The only person I would know well enough to be able to sneak them off was you? Were your keys missing? Cause that should be your answer right there? Now, if you’re done throwing out baseless accusations, get the fuck out of my house and go look for whoever the person with a new moral compass is.” You shake your head, hand rubbing slightly at your back.

“Oh, I’m not leaving just yet. I have a feeling you know something at least. Even if you weren’t the one who was behind it, and I’m going to figure out what it is.” Taeho insists, looking around your apartment before spotting two sets of everything laying around, “Who else is here, Y/N?”

“No one, what are you talking about?” You play it off, and he rolls his eyes.

“Two cups of coffee I wouldn’t have batted an eye at, but two take-out meals when you’re on your current healthy eating kick...not so much. Before you make up excuses, I can see that both boxes are empty. So save it and tell me who the fuck is here with you.” Taeho hisses, and when you scoff he grabs your arm, squeezing painfully tight, “I don’t have time for games.”

“Let go of me. No one is here, and even if someone was, that’s not your goddamn business. I don’t want you in my life anymore. That means I can have whoever the hell I want over here, and I don’t have to justify shit to you about it.” You respond, trying to pull out of his grip.

Taeho shoves you behind him, cursing under his breath, “Whatever, it is my business cause I’m the one who’s going to have to pay for it if this comes back to you. If you don’t want to tell me, though, I’ll go figure out who’s here myself.” 

“No, the fuck you won’t.” A voice sounds from the entranceway to your apartment. Changbin standing there and walking in, “It seems like you’ve done more than enough damage here Taeho, let’s take this outside.”

“Changbin. So you’re the one, huh? Bet Jian would love to hear all about this.” Taeho chuckles, crossing his arms and scoffing at the other.

“Oh, but he won’t hear a peep.” Changbin counters showing Taeho his badge, “So you can either come willingly, and we can talk terms that are a better deal for you. Or you can make this a whole lot worse for yourself than it already is.”

Taeho huffs before cooperating with the detective, making you wonder just how often he already got into trouble to be able to go along without much direction at all. You truly didn’t know the man he was, the man you thought you loved...who you thought loved you. You were distracted for a moment, though, when Chan rushed out to you, quickly helping you up and looking you over.

“I knew you had been involved! You’re the one who took my fighter!” Taeho screeched heatedly, making Chan’s attention snap to him. His gaze burns through Taeho as he growls towards the man moving to advance on him until you get between them.

“Whoa, easy Chris, don’t do anything to him. He deserves it, but it won’t help you any right now. There are too many people who would use it against hybrids, you and others. Besides, there’s plenty of charges on him right now that he’s going away no matter what, you won’t have to see him ever again.” You insist on trying to be logical, despite knowing that Taeho deserved anything that Chan had intended to do at this point. He had practically asked for it through what he did.

This is why you walked over and slapped him in the face, leaving a mark that would fade by the time anyone else was around, but still giving him a taste of what he deserved, “For the record, though, Christopher doesn’t belong to anyone. You’re just a dumbass who can’t look past his own selfish desires to treat people like they deserve.” 

Chan looks at you stunned before pulling you back to him as Taeho suddenly decided to get aggressive again, trying to get to you. Changbin dragged him away to take care of it.

“I’m going to have my last partner come check in on you and make sure it’s safe for you guys to stay here. He’s one of the few people I trust to look out for you guys in this situation. His name is Hyunjin, I’ll send him over. Until then, keep the door closed and locked.” Changbin tells you before he’s entirely out of your apartment with Taeho.

You gently place a hand on Chan’s shoulder to assure him you’re okay before pulling away to close and lock up your apartment. Chan never far behind as he follows after you still concerned.

“Are you alright?” Chan finally speaks up in a soft tone, and you hum looking at him a little confused.

“Yeah, I mean where I got hit still stings some, but I’ll be fine.” You nod, forcing a small smile to try and ease his worries. Chan gently brushed his fingers over where Taeho had grabbed you harshly, already knowing bruises were forming.

“I meant emotionally after all of that...still you don’t need to lie to me about it.” Chan counters yet does not sound angry or cross with you despite calling you out like that.

“You’ve been through more physically and emotionally. I’ll be fine.” You brush it off with a small shrug, moving to walk away and to the kitchen. Your responses only worry Chan more.

“I was used to that by now, though. You’ve just had everything come crashing down onto you all at once after he lied to you about it for who knows how long. That’s a lot, and you don’t have to tell me anything about it if you don’t want to, but you don’t have to force yourself to be fine for me either. Even if we’re both broken right now, that’s okay...maybe...maybe we can help fix each other...together.” Chan’s voice drifts from concerned to hopeful. He’s not sure he has any idea what he’s doing. He just knows that you don’t deserve this, and you’re making him feel for once like he doesn’t either.

You sniffle, turning towards him with a fresh round of tears in your eyes, “ You know what, Chris...I’d like that.”

Besides going to work pretty much all of your time was spent with Chan in your apartment. Your heart breaking for him, he was free from the cage but stuck here until everything could get worked out. You’d gotten closer to Changbin and Hyunjin, Chan slowly coming to trust them with you. The two guiding you through the process that would lead to the numerous court cases looming over you. Minho occasionally popped in as well to check on Chan and make sure he was adjusting to life with you okay. 

“So the date for the case to determine if Chris can safely stay with you or not is locked in for next week now. Before then, we want you both to meet some people, one is a hybrid. He wasn’t in fights like Chris, but he was in a rough situation too. The other person is the one who helped him get a life back, like how you’re doing. They had to go through similar trials as you two will, so they might be able to give you some insight on how to go forward. That being said...Chris hasn’t really been around another hybrid outside of the fights, so just take it slow, it might be a bit uncomfortable for a while.” Changbin tells you while Chris and Hyunjin are in the kitchen working up something to eat. 

“That would probably help a lot actually. You and Hyunjin have offered a lot of help, but we’re still kind of drawing blind here. Having someone who can kind of guide us on the specifics would probably help a lot with the anxiety, to say the least.” You sigh softly, and Changbin chuckles a little, nodding in agreement.

“Their names are Felix and Jisung. Their schedule is pretty open, we just weren’t sure where you’d be comfortable meeting, so we didn’t invite them over yet.” Changbin explains, pulling out his phone, and you shrugs softly.

“Well, we’re still not wanting Chris to be spotted, so just invite them over it’ll be fine.” You wave him off. Having three guys constantly around your apartment kept it pretty chaotic anyways, what were two more, right? “Speaking of that, though, any idea when the other cases will be?”

“The bust on the ring is happening in a few days, before the first case but not much. Just enough to not put a bigger target on you both by being out in such a public place. It’s just a matter of how long it’ll take to build the case after that. I’d expect it to take about three weeks from the bust, a month at the absolute latest. The hybrid rights case is scheduled for just over a month from now, at this point anyways. Those dates could change, though.”Changbin’s huff tells you he’s no stranger to changing court dates, not that you and Chan are either at this point. Changbin slipping his phone back into his pocket after texting Felix and Jisung your address.  

You nod, processing the information he’s just shared with you, “Okay, as long as the bust happens before our court date, I’m not too worried. I just want everything to be as safe as possible.”

Changbin sighs, his lip between his teeth and face concerned, “Either way, it won’t necessarily be safe...or pleasant...There are going to be people who are very against what you and Chris are trying to work towards.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not going to back down from doing the right thing because of that, though. As long as the people who started this whole mess are behind bars and not trying to shut us up, I’ll be alright.” You insist, Changbin nodding, but you can tell he’s still worried about you, “Besides, I’d say we have a pretty good support group.”

Chan pops out of the kitchen, beaming proudly at you, “Hey Y/N! Come look at this!” 

You hum, standing to follow the excited man into the kitchen. You watch as his ears twitch, chuckling as you notice him intently eyeing the kitchen timer. Hyunjin, looking up from where he leans against the counter and snickering as well.

“You can open it and look at them, it won’t ruin anything. Besides, sometimes the timer isn’t exactly right anyways.” Hyunjin tells Chan, who shakes his head adamantly. 

“No, they need to be perfect. Besides, they’re almost done.” Chan insists, waiting for the ding to launch forward, grabbing the oven mitts so he can pull out whatever is in the oven as there’s a knock on the door. Changbin calls that he’ll get it as Chan pulls cupcakes out of the oven, “Look! We made cupcakes! And we can make a lot more too!”

Chan’s excitement dropping almost immediately, head whipping towards the door. His expression is sharp and concerning you. You look between him and the doorway with furrowed brows.

“What is it Chris, what’s wrong?” The slight waver in your voice draws Chan’s attention to you for a moment. A feeling of guilt bubbling in his gut at worrying you like that.

“Don’t worry. It’s just a cat.” Chan snorts, only confusing you more until you see Changbin appearing with two people. One of them being a cat hybrid, his tail flicking anxiously behind him until he spots the cupcakes.

“Did you bake those?” The cat hybrid perks up, mirroring Chan’s earlier excitement. Chan looks between the cupcakes and the other hybrid, still wary but eventually choosing to interact with the cat hybrid.

“Yeah. I’ve never baked anything before. Hyunjin was showing me how.” Chan slowly answers, and the other man nods along.

“Well, they smell really good. You should go ahead and try them. I bake a lot, and usually something that smells this yummy is.” The cat takes a step away from the cupcakes giving Chan a bit more space to go towards the cakes. Chan hesitates for a moment before holding one out to the other hybrid, much like a peace offering.

“I’m Chris,” Chan speaks, still watching the cat closely but slowly trying to let him in with the same compassion as you had first shown him.

“My name is Felix! We’re here to help you with some of the details for your case, but if you want we can be friends too! I could show you just how many different kinds of things you can bake!” Felix eagerly offers, making Chan light up a little more as he nods along. Slowly adjusting to the fact that, like people, not all hybrids are threats to him either.

You look at Jisung and smile softly, “Thank you for coming. I think this will be really good...for both him and me.”

The day of your first case finally arrived as you stood in front of Chan, fixing his tie for the umpteenth time, trying to calm your own nerves. Chan gently takes your hands into his own, trying to comfort you some.

“I’m nervous too, but it’ll be okay. Everyone is going to be here to stand up for us and help us out.” Chan reassures you, squeezing your hands gently before letting them go as your lawyer arrives.

Seungmin looks between the two of you, “It’ll be alright, just remember what we talked about and it’ll be okay. They’re going to try and throw you off and get under your skin, so don’t let them. Just stay calm and answer like we practiced.” 

You and Chan nod before following Seungmin into the courtroom and following him to your place. Passing by where your support group sat, everyone, having cleared their schedule to be here for you even if they weren’t going to need to testify. You glanced back at their smiling, encouraging faces from where you were seated between Chan and Seungmin, before taking a shaky breath to calm yourself. Changbin had told you that you were lucky to get the judge you had, Yang Jeongin, he could be a tough judge, but he was fair when it came to hybrid cases. He treated them as a person, one who could speak for themselves and had a right to do so, which is more than many judges would right now. 

Your hand held Chan’s under the table, letting Seungmin do his job knowing that you and Chan would likely be the last ones questioned based on how everyone prepared you for today. So far it seems accurate as Changbin was called up first.

“So Detective Seo would you please explain to everyone how you can to know the defendants?” The prosecutor asks, and while you knew that the question was coming you still felt your nerves spike at that moment. Chan’s history and how you all met was something you knew could either make or break your case today, and you could only hope for the best.

“I was working undercover as part of an operation to take down an illegal hybrid fighting ring. Chan happened to be one of the fighters that they held there by force.” Changbin answers calmly, trying to leave you out of it. The prosecutor is having none of it though, looking between him and you for a moment.

“And what about Miss Y/N? How did you meet her?” They continue to question. Chan picks up on how your heartbeat speeds up, squeezing your hand softly to try and calm you down.

“Her boyfriend was a part of the ring and brought her one night to show her what he did for a living. She wanted out that same night but was concerned for her safety. So -” Changbin goes to defend you, but the prosecutor cuts him off.

“So if I understand you correctly Miss Y/N was unable to read her boyfriend of many years. So how can we be sure she’d know if Chan was going to do something or not? If she can’t be trusted to speak up to someone she was so intimate with, how can speak up to someone she’s known for barely a month?” The prosecutor inquires rhetorically to the judge, before going to sit again.

Seungmin shaking his head and standing to take his place at questioning Changbin, “ Detective Seo it seems the prosecutor cut off the rest of your earlier statement, could you please finish it for us?”

“Sure, since she wanted out, but was concerned for her safety. I suggested how to handle things with her boyfriend at the time and gave her a number in case she needed police protection of any kind. On the way out she released the hybrids and afterward we met to give Chan medical aid.” Changbin finished and Seungmin nodded along as if in thought.

“Would you say this is the kind of thing you see often in your job? Where a criminal’s significant other gets pulled into situations such as this?” Seungmin’s next question is something you weren’t expecting but it gave you some hope of redemption.

“Without a doubt, a lot of criminals are excellent liars so they can keep what they do a secret for a long time. Then when they do finally reveal that world to their significant other they tend to put a lot of fear into them. Mostly to ensure their own protection. Scaring them into not speaking up or anything. Usually, it’s entirely justifiable too. When these people threaten things, they mean it. For example, in Miss Y/N’s case, her boyfriend forced his way into her apartment, invaded her privacy by trying to search her home, and even used physical force to try and coerce her into things after that night where I helped her get away. Had things escalated again we would have had to move both her and Chan to a safe house.” Changbin answers and Seungmin nods.

“So really, Y/N’s morals speak for themselves. As soon as she realized what was going on she freed the hybrids and stood up for what was right even at the price of her own safety.” Seungmin concluded before they let Changbin down from the stand. Him giving you both a small smile in passing.

Minho getting called up next. Putting the pressure on Chan now instead of you, not that it really helped your anxiety too much right now.

“So Dr. Lee, you first met Y/N and Chan when they came in after that fight to get him medical attention. Is that correct?” The prosecutor starts simple, before continuing after Minho voices his confirmation, “ Would you share with us some of the observations you made of Chan at the time?”

“I observed that his injuries appeared to be repeated injuries, likely from years of fighting. He also appeared to be dehydrated and not properly nourished, along with being somewhat agitated. Something not uncommon for someone in that amount of physical pain.” Minho explains and the prosecutor nods.

“What of his mental health? Did you make any observations about that?” The prosecutor presses and you know where he was going. Seungmin and Changbin had warned you they might try to argue that Chan needs to be in a facility after the way he’d been treated in the past.

“I am not authorized to make any observations other than basic of that sort. That being said I can request that a patient of mine go to receive a psych evaluation if I notice things seem to be an issue, based on the basic knowledge of that field I have. When Chan came in I deemed that was unnecessary. I simply suggested that both he and Miss Y/N look into therapy for various reasons as it might help.” Minho answers and that’s enough for the prosecutor to run with.

“Your honor, as you can see the doctor suggested therapy without that medical professional in their life can we actually be sure that their mental states are in a place where they would be safe in a home together?” The prosecutor presses before Jeongin dismisses him and invites Seungmin to question Minho if he chooses.

“Dr. Lee, could you please share with us your reasoning on why each of the defendants might benefit from therapy?” Seungmin inquires and Minho nods.

“In Chan’s case after all he went through it might be prudent to talk things out after them being bottled in for so long, or perhaps to find some underlying PTSD after what he went through. Allow him a way to adjust to having a free life again. In Y/N’s case, it would be due to what her boyfriend of the time did. How he lied to her and then betrayed her trust and even brought harm upon her. Since they have not known each other long, even if trust is there they may not have learned how to fully communicate or might not want to burden the other, which is where a therapist could assist.” Minho responds and Seungmin thanks him, allowing him to leave. 

That’s when the real worries set in as the prosecutor sets his eyes on the pair of you, calling Chan up to be questioned first. Saving you for the very end.

“Chan, can you share with us what you remember of your life before the fight happened?” The prosecutor’s questioning Chan about a touchy subject and you know it, not knowing much yourself about his life before the fights.

“I don’t remember much. My parents weren’t around for long, they were sold off when I was little. When I got a little older that family got a new hybrid, a younger one, and threw me out. It was pretty much the streets and then being taken to the fights.” Chan does surprisingly well at staying calm you notice, more so than you would likely do in his shoes.

“So the fights weren’t the first stroke of bad luck you’ve had in life then?” The prosecutor’s question makes Chan roll his eyes.

“Well I was born a hybrid, so no not really. Bad luck tends to follow us around in this society.” Chan huffs softly, slightly more irritated at that question. Making the prosecutor smirk at getting under his skin for a moment.

“How would you say that has impacted your daily life then?” The prosecutor presses further but doesn’t get what he’s looking for in immediate action as Chan calms down again.

“To be honest, it haunts me. A feeling of guilt knowing that you did things you didn’t want because there wasn’t a choice. The pain of losing the few friends you had. The memories of the things you’ve seen and lived through.” Chan answers and the prosecutor nods, turning him over to Seungmin.

“I just have one question for you Chan, that’s it. How would you say that Y/N impacts your daily life?” Seungmin questions and for the first time today, you think you see Chan genuinely smile some.

“Well for starters she taught me not to hate all humans, along with a few other friends I’ve made. Which is another thing she taught me how to make friends again, I don’t have to be afraid of losing them. Or be afraid that all humans will treat me the way I have been before. For once I’m actually happy and she’s teaching me about the world. How to be a part of society and stuff, well as best we could while hiding out until the ring was taken care of and it was safe to go out. I can take care of myself and others even for the first time in my life, plus I feel like I have a life now.” Chan smiles at you and if this were any other time you might let yourself get emotional. 

You know that right now you have to stay calm though. That you have to keep it together considering that you’re going to be called up next. 

“Miss Y/N, do you have any history working with police or anything similar in nature to your current involvement?” The prosecutor asks and when you respond with no he continues, “What about history when being around or working with hybrids?”

“No, I don’t have any history with that either.” You respond softly, worried that any answer you give might just be what changes things for you and Chan again.

“Then this must all be quite daunting for you, isn’t it?” The prosecutor continues and you shrug softly.

“I mean...at first it was yes. I’m used to it now though. I feel better too, knowing I did what was right and helped people as best that I could.” You respond honestly, knowing that he was just getting started.

“So would you say you have it all figured out then? That you know how to handle anything that comes up with Chan perfectly?” The prosecutor presses.

“Well...no, but-” You go to defend yourself, yet he cuts you off before you can finish much like he’d done earlier with Changbin. 

“As you can see your honor, they don’t really know what they’re doing when together. They have good intentions, yes, but there are too many unknowns between the two of them.” The prosecutor takes his seat. 

Seungmin comes up to you, offering a small smile, “Miss Y/N can you please finish what you were saying before the prosecution interrupted your statement?”

You give a small nod, “I was going to say that while I don’t know what I’m doing perfectly that’s normal. I’m human, I’m naturally imperfect. Mistakes happen, but I’m willing to try my best, and if a mistake does happen to take responsibility for that. Just like with anything else in life.”

Seungmin hums, “Since you mentioned responsibility would you mind sharing with us what has been on your plate this last month or so? What all have you been responsible for?”

“Sure, it wasn’t safe to be out too much either of us. Especially Chan though, in case someone from the ring spotted us and followed us back. So I would go to work, pick up any groceries on the way home. Or just anything that either of us needed. Then at home, I would make sure we’d eaten and taken care of anything needed for the detectives or the doctor so that I could take it to them the next day. Or arrange an appointment at a time when we could discreetly get Chan there in a safe way.” You answer easily, used to the routine after so long.

“And you did this every day?” Seungmin continues, making you nod softly.

“Yeah, every day except for Sundays. Usually anyways, Sundays we tried to relax or I would try to teach Chan something new.” You respond and Seungmin smiles helping you down and letting you know that you did well. 

“Very well, we’ll take a thirty-minute recess to review everything that has been presented. Afterward, we’ll have closing statements, followed by the verdict.” Jeongin announces before the recess begins. 

One of the guys brought you both water as they all tried to encourage you, saying they thought it would turn out well for you both. You still weren’t as positive though and Chan could tell, squeezing your hand he leans in.

“It’ll be okay. No matter what you did your best and we can be friends either way.” He whispers his reassurance and you find yourself giving a small smile for his sake.

Thirty minutes was both too long and not long enough. Dragging it out made you more anxious and yet you weren’t sure you wanted to know what the verdict was. You tuned out the final statements, not processing that at this point. Your focus was solely on the judge as you waited to hear what decision had been made.

Jeongin clearing his throat and looked between both sides of the room before beginning to speak, “After analyzing everything and deliberation it has been decided Bang Chan will be allowed to remain with Y/L/N Y/N, however, they will attend 12 hours of mandatory therapy to assist with these new circumstances.” He nods at you and Chan, “And I’ll see you both bright and early for that case against the hybrid fighting ring. Until then, stay safe and don’t cause any trouble.”

You look at Chan stunned, until he happily pulls you into his arms and hugs you with a laugh, “I told you that you didn’t have anything to worry about!” 

You chuckle and nod, “ You did, but still it’s a lot.” 

Seungmin smiles at you both, “I’ll see you later to discuss the other cases, until then just enjoy this. Detectives Seo and Hwang will escort you home. I believe they had something to discuss with you anyways.”

“Come on we’re going out the back. There’s a crowd out front and they won’t be too happy when they heard what the verdict on your case just now was.” Hyunjin tells you both before leading the way. Changbin following behind you both just in case.

“Okay, what was it that you two wanted to talk to us about though?” You question as you follow their lead easily.

“Ah, about that...it seems someone who works with the ring is still out. So for your safety, we’re going to be moving the both of you to a safe house until after the trial, unless we can secure the suspect sooner.” Changbin admits, sighing softly, “You can get your things from home, and then we can take you there.” 

Chan helped you to get your things out of the car and into the safe house. The two of you sitting on the couch while Hyunjin and Changbin made sure the house hadn’t been compromised in any way before letting you both get settled. They had taken care of your work and everything for you so that you both could get to the safe house and made arrangements for anything else that would be necessary while you were in the safehouse. 

Hyunjin rubs the back of your neck as he comes over, “So since we didn’t have much time to get this together this place only had one bedroom...one of you can probably take the couch, but even off shift at least Changbin or I will be here to supervise the officers and make sure you’re both safe...so we might be sleeping here too. I guess basically what I’m trying to say is there’s not enough beds or couches for everyone.” 

You blush a little, but wave him off, “I mean Chris and I are probably okay sharing a room if you and Changbin are okay taking rotations on the couch or something...if that’s okay with everyone else?”

Chan chuckles and nods, “Yeah I don’t mind, that’s pretty much what we did at the apartment for a few weeks anyway.” 

Hyunjin nods and sends you and Chan off in the direction of the room to get settled. You finish up before Chan, sitting on the bed and watching him finish up. Chan looked over at you and laughed softly.

“So what do you want to do now? Read a book?” Chan snickers flopping down beside you.

“I don’t know that we’ll find any entertaining ones around this house.” You laugh a little yourself, “Probably should have thought about that a little bit more when they said we’d have no phones or internet for three weeks.” 

“Yeah probably, we’ll find something to do, for now though, I’m gonna go let them know that we’re all good and see if there’s anything else we’re supposed to do before trying to gain some semblance of normalcy here.” Chan smiles at you, reaching out to gently brush your hair out of your face before getting up to leave the room again. In effect, leaving you all alone for now.

After a moment you got up, glancing towards the window. You thought for a moment before deciding to take a peek through the blinds. Nothing that would risk you being seen, just enough to take in your surroundings for now. Hearing the door you turn to face Chan with furrowed brows.

“Get away from there, it’s not safe to be around the windows.” Chan calmly says watching you step away and picking up on your confusion, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Who are the men that just showed up outside the house? Are they more officers?” You try to keep your voice from shaking. The way Chan’s eyes widen at you your question doesn’t help the uneasy feeling bubbling in your stomach though. 

He quickly takes your place, ears twitching as he sneaks a lookout. Before grabbing you and pulling you out of the room. Startling Changbin, Hyunjin, and the others who were there to protect you.

“Four armed men just pulled up. I’m guessing by the look of them that they aren’t with you.” Chan growls out before his ear twitches again, hearing a sound from outside.

He’s quick to drop to the ground with you in his arms. His body wrapped around you for protection as gunshots rang out. His hearing gave him a split-second advantage to get you two in a safer area, even if it still wasn’t a good place to be in. Hyunjin and Changbin round the corner to meet you not long after, guns are drawn and keeping an eye towards the front.

"Are you two alright?" Changbin asks while Hyunjin covers you before having to reload. When both of you voice that you're so far unscathed he continues, "There's no way we're making it out the front with how many guys there are. We're going to have to go out back before they can surround us. When I tell you two to go, run. Outback and look for a car. Don't look back and if we aren't right behind you then just go. Head straight to the police station and let them know what happened."

"Alright." Chan nods, grip firm on your arm, ready to get you out of there as soon as Changbin tells you both to run.

"Go now!" Changbin tells you as for him and Hyunjin lay down cover fire for your escape. About the time you reach the door you hear him cry out in pain though. Looking back you see Changbin hit the ground, leg bleeding from a gunshot wound as Hyunjin tries to cover you and drag him towards the back door.

"Chris they're not gonna make it." You gasp, causing him to glance back as well.

He's quick to shove you out the door, growling out a demand, "Go. Find a car. We're right behind you."

As much as you didn't want to leave them you'd never heard Chan speak to you like that before and your body was on autopilot, listening to what he told you to do right now. Searching outside before finding a somewhat trashy car abandoned between the fence and a rotted out shed. It didn’t matter much what it looked like though as long as it ran well enough to get you all to safety. Wasting no time you run over, yanking open the rusty driver’s door. Sliding in you scour the area for keys, thanking the heavens when you drop the visor and they fall into your lap. Wishing with all you have as the car stalls that you’ll get lucky again. You pause for a moment, before trying again as you see Chan helping Changbin out the door, followed by Hyunjin. Right as panic was setting in the car roared to life, letting you pull forward to let the other get in.

“Drive. I’ll guide you straight to the hospital. Don’t stop for anything. I’ve called it in, so we should be getting an escort meeting up with us along the way.” Hyunjin tells you his arm out the window, firing at the house still.

You waste no time peeling out, following Hyunjin’s direction until the flashing lights of cop cars end up ahead of you and lead the way themselves. Pulling into the ER in a flurry of chaos. You and Chan try to follow Hyunjin and Changbin in, only to have cops stop you, insisting on taking you to a new safe house.

“I’m not going anywhere until I know he’s going to be okay. Besides. Do you even know how they found the last safe house? Until you know I’m just as safe here as I would be at a safe house.” You counter, holding your ground with a stern look.

“We’re. I’m staying with her, and the detectives.” Chan adds, hand moving to rest on the small of your back and guide you through the group of officers and into the hospital. 

You sat waiting in the room with Hyunjin and Chan, staring down at your hands still waiting for word from the surgery Changbin had been in to remove the bullet and repair the damage. Chan’s hand sliding over your shoulder as he offers you a cup of coffee.

“I have a feeling you won’t really be sleeping much tonight, so you might need this.” Chan’s voice is soft, his gentle side showing through again and it almost brings you to tears. Looking between him and Hyunjin who both seem rather calm, nursing their own cups.

“How can you be so okay right now? We don’t even know if he’s going to be okay.” You whimper. Chan shushing you as his arm slips further around your shoulders pulling you closer to him, his warmth surrounding you like a blanket.

“As much as it sucks...what’s happened, happened. There’s no changing it now. We have to live with it now, there’s no other option. It’s hell, but you get used to it...well in your case I hope you never have to, but some of us get used to it.” Hyunjin sighs softly, looking down at the black liquid in his cup as he swirls it, “As for Changbin, he’s gonna be okay.”

“How can you be sure?” You ask, Chan, rubbing away your tears almost as quickly as they’re falling.

“Because...it’s Changbin...and because he has to be okay.” Hyunjin gives you a small forced smile, almost as if he was trying to reassure himself along with you.

Your shoulders slumped, bag dropping to the ground as you and Chan entered the safe house. Hyunjin trailing behind as he checked the perimeter once again.  

Changbin looks up from his spot on the couch and chuckles softly, “The day went that well huh?”

You sigh shaking your head, “Did you hear the verdict yet? The judge had us leave before they went into deliberation so that hopefully we could get through the crowds and back here quicker. Even out the back way though it took us an hour to even get past the protestors...I was really worried...I expected more people to be there for hybrid rights, but it seems like everyone was on the opposite side today.”

“Sorry I couldn’t be there with you guys today. After the second day, the judge said they wouldn’t need me anymore and that I should rest instead.” Changbin frowns, “People were supporting hybrid rights though, they were just on the opposite side of the street. So they must not have been visible the way you went out...they were certainly much calmer than everyone against them anyways. I’m glad you guys got back okay.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “Next time, I’m the one taking the bullet.”

“Oh don’t worry there won’t be a next time.” Chan shakes his head lightly, heading to the kitchen to get you both some water, “How’d the physical therapy go today Changbin?” 

“Average for physical therapy...it’s hell in the moment, but after a bit, things go back to normal.” Changbin shrugs as Hyunjin joins you three inside. His radio is going off as the station contacts him.

“Turn the TV on, they’re about to announce the verdict,” Hyunjin informs the rest of you.

You go to stand by Chan’s side as he puts down the bottles, turning to look at the television from his place in the kitchen. Changbin quickly turned it on and changed the channel to where they’d be able to get the announcement. Your hand clutching Chan’s tightly, gnawing at your lip. Finally releasing your breath when the guilty verdict was announced, most of the group getting a sentence of twenty years to life, a few with less or opportunity for probation. That would be something to take care of when the time comes though, for now, the fact was that they couldn’t get to you, Chan, or any of the other hybrids now.

You throw your arms around Chan before realizing what you were doing. He’s quick to slip his own arms around your center though as if it was the most natural thing for the two of you to do. Chan nuzzling at your hair taking in your scent, one of his biggest comforts since all of this started. Before he’s pulling back to look into your eyes, brushing your hair out of your face.

“You’re safe now! And free!” You beam up at him, a few tears of joy glittering in your eyes as he smiles back at you.

“No we’re safe now, and free to do whatever we want without worry or looking over our shoulder.” Chan’s eyes never leave yours as he finds himself leaning in. 

His eyes flick down to your lips before meeting your eyes again. His lips brushing against yours as he pauses for a moment, searching for any hesitance from you. Instead, you close the last of the space keeping you apart, pressing your lips against his. A kiss he’s been waiting for...that you’ve both been waiting for, and now that it’s finally here neither of you is holding back any longer. Chan’s lips devouring yours, craving more of your taste already. The two of you pulling away only to breathe, not even care about your audience currently. Panting as you look wordlessly at each other, cheeks flushed with heat.

“Two down, just one to go. Afterward, you’ll be free to do that in public too.” Hyunjin chuckles as you and Chan finally look to the two detectives whose eyes long left the television in favor of you.

“I’m not worried about it...I have a good feeling about all that’s to come.” Chan honestly responds before beaming at you again, “Especially some things.”

You didn’t like sitting behind Chan in the courtroom for a change. You didn’t necessarily like sitting in the courtroom at all, but at least beside him, you could hold his hand as some form of comfort. Felix glances at you from his spot beside you, gently grabbing your hand to give it a small squeeze.

“He did really good, and he’s fine even with you back here. I’m sure it’ll be a good verdict.” Felix whispers his assurances to you. Chan’s ears twitch as he picks us the conversation and glances back at you, winking at you with a small smile.

“You helped out a lot too Felix. I don’t think we would have been able to do this without you, especially when you were a good example up on the stand. So thank you.” You squeeze his hand back, making him shrug.

“Hey, anything for family. Though now that you guys are like family I hope you know you’re stuck with us now.” Felix giggles making the others agree quietly.

“For good at that.” Jisung adds chuckling softly, “But you two better quiet down, the judge is coming back.” 

You’re rigid, but also practically trembling in anticipation as you wait to hear the court’s decision. Knowing that no matter what you’d always stand by Chan’s side, yet wishing for a positive answer for his sake either way. 

Jeongin cleared his throat, pausing as he always did before announcing the verdict, “This court has decided after deliberation to grant Bang Chan full citizenship and rights. If he so chooses to legally change his name from what was given to him in a hybrid facility he can do so at the same time as he signs the citizenship papers. This court is dismissed.” 

Felix hugs you before helping you make your way up to where Chan is, “ Congratulations. We’ll see you this weekend for a proper celebration, but until then you two have fun...and be safe.” 

You playfully smack his arm at his suggestive teasing, “Whatever. We’ll see you guys this weekend. Be careful getting out of here, it’s crazy outside.”

The others nod as you move to Chan’s side, hugging his side as he looks over the papers. Changbin and Seungmin there as witnesses to sign the papers in addition to Chan and the judge.

“Congratulations. Is there a new name you’d like to legally have?” Jeongin inquires pointing to the blank area where Chan could put in whatever name he’d like to take on.

“Christopher. Christopher Bang.” He smiles at you knowingly as he writes it down before they finish signing everything. 

You both shake hands with the judge as he congratulates you both again. Before doing the same with Seungmin, thanking him excessively for all he did to help you both.

“Alright, let's finally get you two home again...it’s been a long month.” Changbin chuckles, leading the way to the car that already had all of your stuff in it, ready to be taken back into your apartment once again.

The car took quite a beating on the way out. Those against the decision throwing things at it in protest, until those who were there in favor of equal rights for hybrids stepped in to help your car safely get out and away from the irate group. Your head falling to rest on Chan’s shoulder relieved that all this was finally over and went well so that you could be home and back into your routine once more. Though no doubt with a few changes now too...not that you’d give them up for anything.

The drive took longer than expected, but you made it nonetheless. Kicking off your shoes as you step into the familiar and yet somewhat forgotten home. Stepping deeper into it knowing that Chan was following behind, stretching and checking your phone that was now in your possession once more. Eyes still glued to it as you turned around towards Chan again.

“What do you want for dinner tonight?” You question scrolling through apps for your favorite takeout places.

“I know what I’ll be having,” Chan growls out, in the same voice he had when he told you to leave the safe house. The voice that lit a fire in your gut and had your eyes snapping up to meet his darkening ones.

You don’t get much time to read the feelings filling his eyes though before he takes your phone and puts it aside so as not to distract you anymore. Closing the little gap remaining with a searing kiss. Not having any patience or games, having waited long enough for you by now. Something your heart, mind, and body wholeheartedly agreed with as you feel your arousal starting to pool between your legs. Chan easily picks up the scent of it and nips somewhat harshly at your lower lip with a rumbling growl.

Chan’s arms slip around you and lift your, heading back towards the bedroom, “Fuck, I’m so glad this isn’t illegal anymore...not that it would have stopped me anyway, but still.” 

Your giggle is cut short by his lips finding yours again. This kiss is much shorter than the last, but not less heated. Simply ending when Chan tosses you back onto the bed, crawling over your form as his eyes take you in.

“Remind me why we didn’t do this sooner? It’s obvious we both wanted it.” Chan’s question is wanting an answer, yet he’s not making it easy for you to give it as he nips over your neck soothing the little marks with his tongue and lips. 

“Because...because we weren’t alone...the others were right outside the room and could have come in at any time.” You pant, already getting more worked up by his actions. Chan’s growl turns into a chuckle as he notices your legs spreading on instinct, already so eager despite still being fully clothed.

“You say that like I would fucking care. I didn’t care if they heard...or saw because at the end of the day you’re mine and it would have just proved that to them...besides I might have been gentler if I had not had to hold back for so long. I don’t know that I can anymore though.” Chan’s teeth are still against your throat, drawing out soft mewls from your lips and teasing you by rutting his clothed bulge against your thigh.

“Then don’t hold back. You’re always talking like you’re the big bad wolf and like I should be so scared of you, so show me what the worst you can do is.” You taunt knowing him well enough to know that just that little bit will be all it takes for him to fully snap. 

His hands gripping onto the hem of the dress you wore to court today, ripping it down the middle with no concerns other than getting to your skin beneath it. Giving you no time to argue as he nips over your chest now. Your hands are moving to try and work on pushing off his suit jacket and gripping at his hair. 

Chan pulls away snarling at you and pinning your hands, “I don’t think so kitten. You made me wait, so now it’s your turn to wait. And it would be in your best interest to do so too, cause little disobedient kittens don’t get what they want.” 

If the scent of your arousal building at the way he grumbled out that threat didn’t give you away to him then the growing wet patch on your panties certainly did. Chan licks his lips and smirks softly at you before deciding to make things a little more challenging for you, tossing his jacket aside. His tie, however, he lays close by on the bed for when you inevitably snap and disobey him. He tugs his shirt off next, with almost as much force as he had your dress, sending buttons flying across the room. His mouth on your chest again, hands gripping firmly at your sides for a moment before trailing up over your form to remove your bra. 

Chan pinches one of your pebbled nipples, earning a quiet hiss from you, “Hm so sensitive for me, aren’t you? Trust me you’ll only be getting more sensitive as the night goes on.” 

He nips at your other nipple, before suckling softly, fingers eager to give your other nipple equal pleasure. His eyes locked on your face for a reaction as he switches sides, growling in his chest around your nipple when he watches your hands moving down towards him again, his only form of warning to you. 

Chan knew if he kept it up though it would only be a matter of time before you gave in and touched him again. He was counting on it. Trailing his mouth lower as his hands ripped your panties off and out of his way. Tongue darting out to flick over your clit, raising a brow at you as your legs fall open and hips twitch up towards his mouth. His hands are quick to hold you firmly in place before fully pressing his face against your core, tongue curling deep into you with little growls and grunts sending vibrations through your core. Chan intent on getting every drop of you on his tongue as he possibly could even as your arousal builds more and more, slicking up his face. 

He’s mildly impressed at the fact that you manage to keep your hands to yourself even while trembling in need on the precipice of your impending orgasm. It only encourages him to go harder though, sucking on your clit as he suddenly presses two fingers into you, curling them perfectly against your spot. What finally sent you over that blissful edge though was when his teeth grazed over your clit with the tiniest bit of pressure. 

Through your fucked out haze of pleasure you didn’t realize you’d reached down and weaved your hands into his hair until a few moments after Chan had helped you through your release. Looking up at you all too pleased with himself at getting you to finally snap and touch him again. 

He grabs your wrists and moves your hands away from him again, “I warned you kitten, now get on your hands and knees.”

“But Chris-” Your whining gets cut off with a sharp cry as he swats at your thigh.

“No buts, now do it before you get yourself into more trouble kitty,” Chan growls, this time it’s a bit more playful though. Letting you know this had been his plan all along and things were going exactly how he’d hoped. 

His fingertips tap down your spine as his other hand grabs the tie he’d laid aside. Before doing anything else though his hand crashes down on your ass, hard enough to leave a lasting sting but the pain bleeds into pleasure and it makes him snicker when he can tell you liked it. His hands gripping your wrists to bring them behind your back and tie them together with his tie.

“Filthy little kitten, now you have no choice but to listen.” Chan taunts spanking the other cheek now, before kissing over the sensitive flesh before biting instead.

His desire to fuck you senseless is on the verge of driving him to insanity, but now that he’s had a taste of you he won’t be satisfied unless he makes up for all the previous times he’s wanted a taste of you too. His hands gripping your ass and spreading you open more to give himself unrestrained access to you. Not wasting another second before his mouth is on your core again. Using to his advantage every sensitive spot he learned from your first orgasm while also looking for more to bring you to your next. Pulling away after that one to lap up what he’d missed that had dripped down your thighs, knowing he wouldn’t have the restraint to hold himself back for much longer. He was sure he’d be able to bring you to a third orgasm before that little thread of restraint left snapped though. The determination makes him return to your core with fervor. Like a man starved...which in a way he had been, just not starved of food, just of you.

You’re still trembling from your third and latest orgasm when you hear shuffling behind you before his tip is running through your folds. Collecting your wetness before pushing in as slowly as he can bear for your sake, wanting to let you adjust and not hurt you. His hands gripping at your hips before moving, slowly at first, once he hears your soft moans starting to fill the room, however, he picks up the pace. His hips slapping against your ass, watching the way it moves and enticing him to spank you again. The action makes you clench around him, crying out and clawing at the tie around your wrist at his hard thrusts and the way his hand meets your ass, making him quickly repeat the action, growing out as you clench around him again.

“Fuck...you’re so fucking perfect....so filthy and you love how I’m treating you right now don’t you kitten? Go on, scream my name, let everyone know how good I’m treating you.” Chan grips at your bound wrists, pulling you back into each of his thrusts. His other hand reaching around to rub at your clit, “Shit, you’re going to cum for me again aren’t you? Gonna cream all over my big fucking cock, huh? Do it kitten, but don’t think the night will be over just cause you do.” 

This time when you cum Chan doesn’t slow down for a second, if anything he does the opposite. His hand leaves your wrists to slip around your throat and pull you up against his chest. Angling his thrusts to brush against your spot each time as he feels himself getting close to his own edge, but refusing to go over it without you cumming again too. His hips stuttering as he feels your pussy spasming around him on the brink of release once again.

“It’s okay, kitten. Let it go. You’ve done so good for me.” Chan whispers in your ear, nuzzled against your neck as he encourages you to fall into a world of pleasure one final time tonight. He bites down on your neck, roaring out against it as he cums shortly after, riding you both through your highs.

His hands carefully undo your bound hands as he gently lays you down on the bed, slipping away to go get a washcloth. He’s gentle as he cleans between your legs before grabbing a sweatshirt and some panties for you, in just sweatpants himself. Chan leans in gently stroking the hair away from your face, kissing your forehead.

“I’ll help you get cleaned up more later...for now though...how about we seriously think about dinner?” Chan chuckles before blushing a little, “Not that there’s really anything to talk about though...considering I already ordered your favorite. My timing is damn good too, I scheduled it for five minutes from now.”

You laugh, shaking your head slightly at him and playfully smacking his shoulder, “Five whole minutes? Hm you mean you had time to make me cum again and you didn’t?”

Your teasing makes Chan growl and playfully nip at your ear, “Careful what you say kitten, we still have a whole night at our disposal. Who said anything about stopping before sunrise?”

He gets up to go answer the door at the knock, winking at you before his eyes rake over your form again, licking his lips. You two would certainly be celebrating and making up for lost time tonight.

[damn-stark]

Ch.11: Out of the shadows

Chapter 11 of Cherry

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy the chapter 😏

Warning- ANGST, LONG CHAPTER!, Talks of loss, violence, fluff, swearing, SLOWBURN.

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader,

Episodes- 3x38-3x39

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

“Is she still out there?”

Sasha looks out the big glass window and nods her head to confirm your wandering question. Albeit she doesn’t linger behind to worry over Historia like you were.

For days now, ever since arriving at the secluded cabin, Historia has liked to go outside a few minutes before the sun set to sit on the grass all by herself. She never asks for company, or explains why she does; mainly because she rarely speaks, but nevertheless she just sits outside all by herself and doesn’t return inside until the night has completely taken over the bright sky.

Except for today. Historia was outside, but there was no sunset to admire. The sky was invaded with dark clouds that brought rain to patter down onto the earth, making the air smell bitter and yet sweet, but not allowing the sky to give any clear indication when day transitioned into night. Not like Historia seemed to mind as she stayed under the rain, letting you build the courage to go speak to her. Even if it meant with you'd get dirty and soaked.

“Mind if I bring some light?” You ask her quietly as you set the lamp down beside her.

Historia slowly drags her eyes up to your face and right away notices the hesitance on your face. She doesn’t speak about it and instead shakes her head to answer your question before returning her gaze to nothing in particular.

“Okay,” you breathe out as you painfully sit down on the ground beside her. “Nice night, don’t you agree?”

“I suppose,” Historia shrugs gloomily.

You smile softly and lift your hand to watch the raindrops collect on your palm. “I love the sound of rain.” You ball your hand and turn it around to then open your fist and let the rain drip down from your hand. “Especially when I’m reading, I like to sit by a window, with tea and a book. It’s very comforting.” You blink to look back at her, seeing that your words went through one ear and left through the other. Her wavered attention didn't discourage you, it should have, but you stayed prominent to your spot and goal—“You know,” you continued in a much softer voice. “When I miss someone who’s gone, I like to wear something that belonged to them. It doesn’t smell like them anymore, but knowing that they used to wear it brings me comfort.” You sigh deeply and look down at your hands on your lap.

Historia finally pulls her attention from the dark horizon ahead and shifts her eyes to look at you. She stays quiet and let’s the sound of the rain falling on the roof of the cabin, and on the ground play uninterrupted for a few minutes as the meaning behind your words processed in her mind. She thought of not answering and being content with your suggestion in silence, but she needed to ask. Just once. “Do you miss him?”

You lift your head and turn your eyes to meet her blue ones that gleamed brighter by the tears welled in her eyes, and the light of the lamp in between you both. “Who?” You question cluelessly.

“Reiner.” She shares, making you grow stiff. “I mean I just saw the way he looked at you, the way he treated you. Were you guys dating?”

You shake your head and mindlessly begin fiddling with your fingers as you choose to answer her with the truth to one of her questions. “No we weren’t dating.” You pause and swallow thickly, taking note of your habit and instead tucking your hands into your sleeves to wipe the rain off your face. “It was just a fling, nothing to it. Plus,” you exhale deeply as your voice softens. “There's no room in my heart for traitors.”

“Was Ymir a traitor?” Historia asks bluntly, once again making you grow rigid with her very straightforward questions. This time instead of answering right away you wait and think of your words very carefully. You didn’t lie to her, or avoid answering, there was no need to with this question.

“No,” you shake your head, “she was different then the other two.” You shift around where you sat to be able to fully face her, while you kept ignoring the pouring rain that made your clothes stick to your body, and brought your body temperature down to an uncomfortable level. “When I was with them, after they took us, the one thing she was sure of was protecting you. She cares about you. She didn’t betray you. She wouldn't.”

Historia’s lip trembles before she drops her head to hide her emotions expressed on her face. Emotions she failed to contain and let out as quiet sobs that caused her whole body to tremble with cold and emotions. You wanted to comfort her, grab her shoulders or rub her back but she shot up and began to cry out what she had contained since Ymir left. “I can’t stand it! Why? She chose them over me?!” Her eyes snap up to meet your bewildered expression. “She said we’d live for our own sakes. But now she’s left me behind.” She falls down to sit on her knees, letting out a shaking breath and dropping her head again, letting the rain shower over her hunched body. “Just like everyone else did. My father, my mother—Ymir left me.”

“I’m sorry,” is all you could offer in a broken voice as your own eyes fell, and filled with similar glum emotions. “I can’t offer you a clear explanation as to why Ymir left, but I can offer you some comfort.” You look up at the same time she does. “As to your parents, just know you’re not alone. My father left me too. My mother…well,” you shrug, “I don’t remember her. Not even a bit, so I don’t think she was a good person worth remembering.” You offer her an assuring smile while you wipe off the water that dripped down your nose. “It hurts. I know, trust me, but you said that you and Ymir would live for your sakes right? Well, do it. No matter what.”

Historia’s eyes flicker up to you and she wipes the tears and raindrops off her cheeks. Her lips maintained her frown, not giving any indication if she would take the advice, but she did nod stiffly, letting you know that she was at least listening to you.

——

“I’m done cleaning upstairs!” You exclaim as you rush in the kitchen. “It took forever since no one helped,” you look at Connie. “But,” you sigh in relief, “It’s spotless.” You pull the mask off your mouth and let it hang around your neck, seeing Eren look back at you to address your comment.

“Good. Captain Levi is almost here. We just need this area here before we’re done.”

You swipe the bandana off your head and can’t help but smile sadly at a passing memory of Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo in a similar cleaning situation. It’s something you couldn’t help but share out loud. “You know what this reminds me of?” You direct to Eren. “Cleaning with the Levi squad. The first one.”

“Yeah,” Eren nods slowly as his eyes fall back to what he was sweeping. His shoulders dropped but he hid what he felt with annoyance. “Only they knew how to clean.” His hands clench tighter around the broomstick and he begins to grumble. “Now it feels like we’re the only ones doing all the work.”

Connie shoots his head up and glares at Eren. “Hey man! Am I painted on the wall or something?”

You smirk and throw the bandana on the dirty pile basket. “You have room to learn.” Before he could add a snarky remark the door opens and Sasha, Jean and Armin walk back inside with the boxes of rations that had arrived.

“Hey!” Eren exclaims to the group, “did you guys wipe the dust and dirt off your shoes before you came in?”

“Huh?” Jean questions as he looks up at Eren whilst he sets the sacks of food down. “No, we didn’t. Can't you see all the stuff we’re carrying?”

You scoff at Jean’s comment and grab the canister from Armins hands to put it on the table whilst you watch Eren march towards Jean to complain further. “Do you seriously think that attitude will satisfy Captain Levi?”

You peek over at the duo and pretend to do something around the kitchen to continue listening to the argument—“If I hadn’t personally made your bed this morning—” Eren argues, making you snort.

Jean hears you and looks to you with a widened and almost horrified expression before his eyes snapped back to Eren to shout at him out of embarrassment. “Shut up! Quit nagging! Who are you, my mom?”

“We’re back.” Mikasa announced as her and Historia finally rejoined the group inside.

“Wait,” Armin protested, “were you just chopping firewood?”

You tilt your head and narrow your eyes on her. “I thought I told you no heavy lifting, and to tell me when you were leaving.”

“Gotta stay in shape.” She quips.

“You got grabbed by a Titan!” Armin shouted as he stepped towards her. “You should be in bed.”

“I try to stop her, but she won’t listen,” Eren interjects in a grumble. “I saw her doing sit ups earlier!”

You sigh and watch Armin follow after her to continue scolding her in his own gentle way before Sasha interjected. “It’s almost like we’re back in the Cadet Corps.”

“Yeah,” you nod.

“Why do you figure we were chosen for the new Levi Squad, though?” Armin can’t help but ask. “Protecting Eren and Historia is such an important mission.”

That was a good question, and one with many different possibilities, but only one you could think of, and Sasha said that for you. “Because we’re talented, I assume.” Albeit she didn’t say it in your exact words. Regardless, as she was answering Armin, she quickly shoved something in her bag that caught your immediate attention.

“Sasha,” you grimace, “what did you just put in your bag?” You turn to face her with a fuming and intimidating glare, but all Sasha does is slowly look up at you with an unaffected expression to lie to your face.

“Nothing bread-related.”

“Why, you!” Jean cut in as well whilst he stormed towards her.

You move towards her and snap back. “Give it back.” “Hey, focus!” Eren interrupts, “we gotta finish cleaning before the Captain gets back!” However no one really listened as you all tried to fight Sasha to put the bread back before said man you were trying to avoid getting upset, walked in.

“What’s the commotion about?” Levi broke the tension, creating a much thicker one as he walked towards the table, causing your shoulders to stiffen, and your angry expression to fall while you met Erens matching concerned gaze. And as Levi swept his hand under the table and dust and dirt fell from the wood, that concern turned to slight fear. Even more so as he lifted his hand and faced the group to address the situation. “I’m quite sure I gave you enough time.” Levi grabs his cloth from his pocket inside his coat and cleans off the dust and dirt collected on his fingers. “Anyways, we’ll discuss your lax cleaning job another time. Eren, Hange is itching to get the experiment started.”

As far as experiments went, you thought it went rather well for the first two hours. Eren listened well to instructions while in his Titan form, he performed all his given tasks well too and you couldn’t deny that he was impressive; he could write, he couldn’t speak because of the shape of his mouth, he could last a pretty long time, but only transform a few times before he seemed to go groggy and lose memory as his consciousness dwindled. The one thing he couldn’t do was harden himself like everyone wanted him to. It was weird, but there was an explanation, there always was.

——

“Huh? What was that?” Levi asks Hange after they and their squad walk into the small cabin, with their face contorted into distress and a hint of sadness.

“He’s dead…” they announce once more. “Pastor Nick. He was murdered. This morning, in the Trost District barracks.”

Levi’s face grows even more serious as the thoughts in his mind begin to churn, he hums and shows no remorse like Hange was. Instead he guided everyone to sit around the table and the couch beside it so Hange could explain in more depth what they and Moblit had seen, and what their thoughts were behind the bloody scene. And as they talked you grabbed the pot of tea you had made and served Levi, Hange and rest of the older Scouts before you walked back to sit on your seat. Albeit before you could serve yourself, Connie pushes his empty cup towards you, and quietly, and discreetly points to it so you could get the hint to serve him first. You smile kindly and grab the cups you set on the table to serve everyone but him.

Now you weren’t being petty, or anything. Not even because he was assigned to clean the table and didn’t clean it well the other day, causing you and the rest of your friends to get a long cleaning speech. No that’s not it.

Regardless you sat down beside Jean and across from Eren, feeling your mood go down as Hange continued with the heavy topic. “I figured the Church would want to deal with Nick since he was cooperating with the Scouts.” Hange explains, “that’s why I hid his identity and had him stay in the barracks, but….to think they would use soldiers to kill him. I was too careless. It’s entirely my fault.”

The room goes quiet for a minute, growing the tension thick enough that it felt as if you were carrying it on your shoulders. You tried to ease the tension, but such a grim topic was hard to brush off, especially as Armin decided to add onto the weight of the tension. “The military police…did they torture Pastor Nick just to find out what information he spilled to us?”

Levi sets his cup down and answers Armin in the same serious and unaffected voice. “Most likely. But it was the Interior Military Police, which means there’s something more behind it. So,” he turns and looks to Hange. “How many nails did Nick have ripped off?”

“Huh?”

“You saw, right? How many?” Levi asks, making you swallow thickly and tighten your hold around your teacup.

“I only caught a glimpse of him,” they answer, “but all the nails that I could see.”

“People that talk, talk after one.” Levi explains, “if they don’t, peeling more won’t make a difference.” Levi looks away from Hange, but continues, not noticing how you began to quickly tap the side of your cup out of uneasiness of the gruesome conversation. Perhaps it was something you needed to get used to, but fighting and killing Titans was one thing, talking of hurting human beings was something else completely. It was never part of your job, nor anyone else’s in the Scout Regiment.—“Pastor Nick…I thought he was an idiot, but. He didn’t turn away from what he believed, all the way til the end. In other words, they have no idea we’ve caught wind of the Reiss family. Though, someone in the government is up to no good, and their eyes are fixed on us.”

Right as Levi finishes, the front door opens and a soldier named Nifa, from Hanges squad, walks in and heads directly towards Levi to hand him a note from Commander Erwin. “I went to tell him about Pastor Nick, but he sent me off with this.” She shares while Levi reads the words on the small paper that made his eyes narrow deeper, and his shoulders stiffen much tighter. Once he finishes reading the note he looks up and urgently addresses the whole room.

“Everyone, out. We leave now.” Levi announces while he stands from his chair. “Leave no trace we were here.”

There was no moment of hesitance after Levi’s announcement, what little you all brought was packed in your personal bags. After that a blood pumping rush ran through everyone as you escaped the cabin to get to higher ground, and deeper into the forest where you could only hope no one was in. With the adrenaline that rushed through your veins you didn’t feel the chilly evening air, nor really catch that you had walked far until everyone stopped on a hill that overlooked the cabin getting raided by military police.

“That was close,” you breathe out while you tear your eyes from the scene down below.

“If we hadn’t left right then, what would’ve happened to us?” Connie asks with his eyes peeled back widely, expressing the shock and slight fear that ran through him.

You glance at Connie to answer his wondering question. “We would’ve been caught, Eren and Historia would’ve been taken and they probably would’ve left us for dead after beating us up.” You’ve seen it happen once when you lived underground, you weren’t supposed to see the Military police beat up a couple of young teens trying to take some food, or whatever it was they had taken, but Furlan, nor Levi managed to pull you away from witnessing the scene in time.

Nonetheless, Connie's head slowly shifts to you with his eyes expressing more horror after your words. His lips part, but all he does is inhale a small breath of air before you turn to check out the small patch of woods in front of you—you couldn’t apologize for your honesty that he hadn’t witnessed before, that he was blind to due to where he grew up. He had to know, those who didn’t know before had to know too. The world was a beautiful place, but life inside the walls also had their own monsters.

“But why?” Armin inquires, “what would make Commander Erwin…?”

“New orders came from the government.” Levi revealed. “There’s been a freeze on all Scout Regiment activity outside the wall. They’re telling us to hand over Eren and Historia.” At Levi’s words, you once again turn your head to look at him over your shoulder, feeling yourself full with buzzing curiosity at the new piece of news that just kept piling on.

“By the way,” Nifa interjected, “right after he gave me the message, the Military Police came for him.”

“They’re treating him like some sort of criminal!” Hange exclaimed bitterly.

“Someone’s not working from the shadows anymore,” Levi continued, “they’re moving for all eyes to see.”

“To go far to protect the wall's secrets.” Hange added while she faced Levi. “What’s more, why do they want us to hand over Eren and Historia? Not to kill, but for them to obtain?”

You clench onto the rifle in your hands and suggest, “Control?” You turn around and continue to add your thoughts out loud. “Whoever is deciding to finally come out and play, is no lowlife scum.”

Levi glances at you and nods, “you’re right. But,” he says as he looks away. “Who knows? Anyways it’s clear the enemy is after these two. Loitering around here is dangerous. We’re moving her and Eren to Trost District.”

“Why?” Moblit protests. “That’s the same place Pastor Nick was killed.”

“It’s worse to head towards the interior. With Trost in a panic, it should be easy to slip in,” Levi says, “and if somehow it comes down to it, we can use these in the city.” He pulls a side of his cloak and looks to his odm gear. “Plus, not knowing the enemy puts us in a tough spot. We need to find out who’s behind this.” he looks to Hange. “Hange, lend me some of your squad.”

“Of course,” they don’t hesitate to answer while they tap their chin and glance down for a brief moment, before once again facing the group. “All right, I’m going after Erwin.” They continue to turn to the man beside them. “Moblit with me. The rest of you will follow Levi.”

“Roger!”

As Hange climbs on their horse, Eren calls to them and hurries after them. “Hange! Here.” He hands them a folded up paper. “I remembered a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt. Didn’t get to tell you, but it’s here.”

“All right,” Hange says as they grab the note and stuff it in their pocket while they climb onto the horse. “I’ll take a look at it later.”

“Be careful,” you wave at them, making them shoot you a faint smile before they ride off with Moblit. The rest of you being left having to walk through the forest as the sun set further by each passing second.

Levi led the squad, leaving you behind to eye the shadows that lurked in the forest that surrounded you. You wanted to distract yourself by thinking that running from the Military Police, and being seen as some criminal must be nostalgic to Levi since he left the underground to escape that life, but now it seemed it followed him here. Just like it also followed you, something he had wanted to avoid when he thought of making a life above ground. It’s funny how that works.

Regardless, the sun disappeared completely, taking away the security of its bright light and leaving you in a freighenting darkness that lamps couldn’t ease its eerie presence, making you walk closer to one of the people that could bring comfort to this traumatizing situation, Jean. “Why is it that we always have to move in the dark?” You grumble.

Jean glances at you and answers. “Because it’s better to hide in the dark. We aren’t as easily spotted.”

“I know,” you sigh deeply, “it was a rhetorical question.” Your eyes flicker over to him and right as you were going to meet his gaze you look up at the hat on his head, and you can’t help but smile. “I—”

“Don’t laugh,” he grimaces bitterly.

“I wasn’t,” you lift your hands whilst you meet his gaze. “Honestly. I was going to say that I like your hat. I think it looks nice. It gives off, uhmm,” you tap your chin and look ahead. “Cowboy type of vibes, or,” you clap, catching the brief attention of Armin and Eren in front of you, “some sort of a gangster.” You look at Jean again and tilt your head, noticing he seemed to be holding his breath and that his eyes had lost their intimidation. “Maybe that’d work better with a suit though, so cowboy it is.” You grin but he’s quick to look away. “It’s a nice look on you, Jean.”

Unlike Eren, Armin's eyes stayed on Jean and you for a moment longer to study your gestures, and hear the words coming out of your mouths. He could think nothing of it, after all he thought of Jean and you as a weird pair of friends. But he was quick enough to catch Jean’s flustered expression hidden under the hat he had on, and that set off a new curiosity within him that he wanted to further explore.

“Whatever,” Jean brushes you off with his head completely facing away from you, and his expression hidden by his hat.

You scoff lightheartedly and roll your eyes. “It still looks pretty ridiculous at night though.”

“It’s so they don’t recognize me,” Jean snaps.

Your eyebrows furrow and you snort. “Who's going to recognize you out here at night? The shadow man? A ghost? Or maybe a raccoon?”

Jean slowly turns his head to glare at you. “You’re about to become unrecognizable.”

“Oh,” you smirk, “I’d love to see you try.” You look to the front of the group and point to Levi with your eyes. Jean scoffs and leans closer to you to whisper. “Yeah, consider yourself lucky. For now.” He squints his eyes, “but watch your back. Cherry.” He mocks.

Your smirk deepens and you lean in closer to him too, holding his gaze intently and licking your lips as they tug to a smile. “Again. I’d like to see you try. Jean-boy.” Your eyes linger on his for a while, noticing that his lips turned to a smirk as he held his confidence high, not letting show the feelings that he felt fluttering inside. A tension rose between the little gap between you, but you were oblivious to it, unlike him. But he did nothing to point it out and make it clear to you, all he did was watch you blink and look away. After that you proceeded to part away from him and fall at Levi’s side. “Hey, Levi, so how are we planning to sneak into Trost with Eren and Historia? A big group will attract attention, and what if there's some dressed up Military police members in the crowds already expecting us?”

Levi glances at you before he looks at Jean and Armin over his shoulder to simply say, “I have a plan.”

——

“This is so, so stupid.” Jean grumbles beside you.

You shoot him a side glanced glare and nudge his arm. “Shush.” Your eyes return to the streets you’re marching through and they scan every stand open as you pass them, they lift to the roofs and catch the flags that hang from roof to roof sporting bright colors, your eyes search the crowd that is unusually big and clustered, falling from person to person no matter how young or old they are. One just couldn’t be too careful, you needed to look over your shoulder….it needed to become second nature no matter how bad that sounded. You needed to think as if every person that wasn't the Scouts, your friends and family was hostile, even if you hated to think that way of people.

Every person was against you until proven otherwise. Or at least that’s what Levi says in a time and mission like this. But it was so hard to think that way, especially when you saw the hungry and homeless people on the streets asking for food, or money after the destruction created in the city. And it seemed now there were a lot of those around, cities above ground were beginning to look like the underground, it was hard to see their sad and angry faces. So you had to put your hood over your head to avoid searching for those hallowed faces.

“So what, I can’t complain now?” Jean snaps in a sharp whisper. “He does that a lot.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “and it’s annoying. So shut up.”

Jean shoots you a brief glare before he picks up his pace to leave your side. And if it wasn’t for his undercut and his tall figure, from behind his wig would fool you into believing he was the boy he was pretending to be. Not the front though, you could pick him out in a crowd even with the wig on, he….had a very long one of a kind face.

“Try not to walk in a cluster.” Levi repeated to the group, “we’ll stand out. Eren and Historia, just walk normal.”

If he kept talking like that every ten minutes, someone would notice, no matter how far apart you’re all spread out.

“Why is the royal family’s flag hanging everywhere?” Connie asked as his eyes roamed the colorful flags overhead.

“Oh! Today must be the anniversary of the King's coronation.” Sasha answered, making your eyes return to look at the flags over your heads. “Once a year, they hand out a haul of rations.”

A man begins to announce what Sasha had pointed out, but your attention goes to the flower stand you walk by and your eyes get lost on the big, beautiful bright yellow sunflowers decorating the front of the stand. A soft smile tugs on your lips and a gleam sparkles in your eyes. You’re tempted to walk to it and buy some since they were your favorite, but you hold yourself back…as hard that was. It was such a brief moment that you didn’t think anyone would catch you, but someone did, they just didn’t say anything and instead admired your smile as your eyes remained on the yellow petals. When you pass the stand, you pull your eyes off the flowers and notice your group came to a stop, and before you could bump into Connie, you stop in your tracks and listen to what Sasha commented over the man’s announcement.

“What a king! He sure is generous!”

You scoff at her comment and before you could remark something, Levi beats you to it. “He’s got more than he knows what to do with. People are weak, especially when baited with food.”

“I have an idea,” you scoff, “they could take some of those rations underground. There's a lot of people who really need it down there.” You glare at the announcer as if he was the King in charge.

“We’re considered riff raff down there,” Levi replied to your bitter comment. “Or don’t you remember? They didn’t care about us, they still don’t care about them.”

“Yeah,” you huff out after you return your gaze to the path ahead. “I remember.”

The walk after that talk is quiet, uncomfortable and nerve wracking as no one knew when someone was going to attack your group and take Jean and Armin, or should you say, “Eren and Historia.”. Everyone had to keep looking over their shoulders and keep their guard up, only making yourselves more suspicious. Part of you believed you would get away without getting attacked, but you needed to for the plan to work. And it did happen as Levi had planned—“Watch out! Behind us!” Levi bellowed after he stopped and looked over his shoulder.

Before you could look back, you heard the speeding carriage racing your way that he had warned you about. As it sped past you, you jumped out of the way and had to hold back from fighting their attempts as you watched them take “Eren and Historia”. Yet you couldn’t help yourself from screaming out their names. “Je—Eren!” Sasha seemed to have the same trouble as she yelled out for Armin, but soon corrected herself and called out for who they were pretending to be. And even if you were going to save them regardless, the knot in your stomach wouldn’t loosen and you had to fight the urge not to instantly catch up to them. Really just run after Jean.

*A FEW MINUTES LATER*

“Calm down Cherry,” Levi assured you from behind you. “You reek of anxiety. We’re going to save them.”

You gnaw at your cuticles and take a deep breath. “This plan is shit. I can’t stand not knowing what they could be going through.” You lift your eyes and pull your thumb away to stand up as Mikasa joins you on the roof. “So?” You instantly ask her impatiently. “How is it going inside?”

“If we don’t hurry, they’ll see through Armin's disguise.” Mikasa informs Levi and you before looking away from your worried gaze. “And I feel bad for him.” She lowers her head.

Shit—you lift your finger to your lips and begin gnawing once more as you sink down on the roof, hearing Levi respond with a simple, “I see.”

“How is your leg?” Mikasa looks back at him. “Any better?”

You look over your shoulder, seeing Levi peek over his own before grabbing his knee and answering. “I can move well enough. It’s not bad, thanks to the things Cherry made for me.” He looks back at the streets below. “More importantly, these kidnappers…they’re nothing but amateurs. Why would they be using guys like this?” He stands up and takes a step forward, letting your eyes, like Mikasa’s, watch him carefully. “You both can handle the rest on your own. I’m heading for Eren. Once you’ve dealt with the trash, come and meet up with me.” He keeps walking ahead, assuring himself with the short comprehensive answer Mikasa gave him. “One more thing,” he stops at the edge of the roof and looks back. “I’ll tell you, just in case. Tell Armin and others, too. From now our enemy won’t only be Titans,” he pauses and looks away. “But other humans too.”

Your eyes widen and it feels as if all the wind had been knocked out of your lungs. You part your lips to argue, to interject with anything against his comment, but there was nothing you could say, even if you could, Levi left before you could think of anything. After that you tried to look at Mikasa, to see if she was struggling like you were, but she remained expressionless, and cold, or at least that’s what she wanted you to believe. You didn’t know what she was really thinking. She was a lot like Levi in that way.

Nonetheless, there’s a silence that falls over after his comment where you feel your whole body stiffen, and your heart sink to your stomach. Your body grows cold and a grim feeling takes over your anxious state for a brief moment where the silence feels deafening, and the question of “can I really do this?” Begins to linger in your head, making you nauseous. That question was brief before your mind was overridden by instincts that told you that you could and it was the right thing if it came to it, but your conscience told you otherwise. It turns you gloom and makes you stiff as your instinct, and your conscience battled with one another to have a winner.

Neither of them won. Mikasa interrupted you before the battle could be decided. “Let’s go.” She stands up to fly back to the other roof, but stops once you’re behind her to scold you. “And stop eating at your hands. You’ll ruin your cuticles.”

“Right,” you whisper as you pull your hand away and then follow her to the other roof to fall in your assigned position. When you hear the deep voices inside, you peek your head inside the open window, and prepare your fighting stance as you watch the floor and Mikasa down below. In the center of it all, you could see Jean and Armin tied up with their disguises still intact, which was something that should bring you comfort since they hadn’t been discovered, but seeing them in that position made you uneasy.

Regardless, their disguises were beginning to be questioned by the man leading the small group that walked in the storage room. “You’re sure, without a doubt, it’s Krista and Eren?”

“Yes,” another man nods, “they match the description.”

Yeah sure they do. Armin perhaps resembles Historia in some way, but Jean was not even close. They all sucked ass—you think to yourself, scoffing and rolling your eyes before taking a step closer to the window and meeting Mikasa’s dark eyes after they looked up to quietly signal you.

“Huh? Where’s the guard?” With that question uttered, just as Mikasa moves forward, you jump down the window whilst you take your cloak off and let it float down, while you land on the ground and look up at the tall startled man with a cocky smirk. He tries to reach for his gun, but before his fingers could even touch its cold metal, you jump to your feet and roundhouse kick him to the ground, instantly knocking him unconscious after a single impact to his face.

The other two men who had been up front freeze from the shock, and watch Mikasa and you wide eyed out of fear. They try to reach for their guns, but before they could think of shooting, and without a single word uttered between Mikasa and you, you both sprint towards them. She jumps off the floor and you slide down past her body almost as if the moves were rehearsed; she kicks a man with red hair, while you swiftly get up and swing your leg to kick the other man to the floor. He intended to move after, but he couldn’t even catch your fleeting figure before you pin him to the ground and twist his arm to his back, causing him to groan.

A faint proud smirk tugs on your lips once the thought of what you did registers in your mind, but it’s fleeting before you grow serious again. Instead of thinking too much into what you did, you look back, noticing Jean and Armin were tying up the other two men, leaving you to look up to a window on the roof to address the boy you knew was waiting by it. “Connie! Is it really just the four of them?!”

Said boy pokes his head through the window and confirms your question. “Yeah, that’s it! Nobody else in the area!” Connie finishes, keeping your eyes on him and not letting you pay attention to the man reaching for the gun he had dropped. Not until you heard the whiz of Sashas arrow impact the ground just inches away from your hand, and pinning the gun to the ground before he could try to shoot you. The crash made your head snap to the arrow, and made your eyes widened out of shock.

“If you move again, who knows where I’ll hit?” Sasha threatened the man whilst your heart pounded in your ears.

“H-hey!” Jean began to exclaim in an angry tone. “What if you hit Y/N with that!”

“It’s Y/N’s fault for taking her eye off the prey.” Sasha countered.

You nod and look back to the man under you. “Yeah, no, you’re right,” you interject. “Sorry! I should’ve known better!” You stand up and pull the guy up with you.

“All right!” Mikasa yelled out, “first, we tie these guys up, then we meet up with the captain.”

Armin looks at her and questions her command. “What do you mean?”

“Captain's orders, and he sends a message, too.” She shares with your friends what Levi had told the both of you, and they react in the same speechless disbelief as you. This time though, you fought with yourself not to think about it further. Instead you focus on tying up the man in your hold, before you place him with others in a deafening silence that had set in the storage room.

That was until you were done and spotted Jean with the wig still on his head behind you—“Eren,” you say seriously. “Are you okay?” You stifle a laugh.

“Huh?!” Jean exclaims. “What did you just call me?!”

You turn with your eyebrows furrowed in concern to continue with your act as seriously as you can manage. Which was going surprisingly well. “Oh, it’s you Jean. I forgot, you know with the wig,” you point, “you fooled me.” You shrug. “Sorry.”

His eyes narrow to a piercing glare and a venom laces in his voice. “You’re not funny, you know that?” He snatches the wig off his head and throws it to the ground, before he turns sharply on his heels to storm past you and leave the storage room with his chest puffed out in anger. His reaction makes you giggle and you have to run to catch up to him.

“Jean, come on, I was only joking. Just trying to ease the tension.” You smirk and try to meet his burning glare.

Jean scoffs. “Yeah, just be quiet, I'm not talking to you.”

You snicker and grab his arm, making him go instantly stiff. “Come on, don't be a jackass. I was joking. Of course I knew it was you.” You scoff. “I mean anyone with eyes would know you’re not Eren, even with the wig on.” You look away from him to look at the upcoming large doors, whilst you begin to list what comes to mind. “I mean, you’re much taller, your eyes are brown and his eyes are green, you're more muscular than he is. You’re—” you suddnely cut yourself off and feel your cheeks burn hot after you catch what you had been saying.

You glance at him nervously and pull your hands from his arm, missing the smirk on his lips that had swept away any anger he had felt. “Yeah,” you nod and swallow thickly and pretend not to be affected by the tension you felt fall over you as you look away. “It was obvious.” You clear your throat and begin to fiddle with your fingers as you change the subject. “Anyway.” Your eyes flicker up to steal a glance at him. “How are you feeling over what Levi said? I mean, I know I was just joking around, but I’m being serious now.” You throw the doors open and you both walk out the storage room with Sasha, and Connie in tow.

Jean exhales deeply and pulls his eyes away from you to look ahead at Armin and Mikasa. “I don’t know. For the first time, I really don’t know how to feel yet. I mean,” he pauses, and unfolds his arms to clench his fists at his sides and furrow his eyebrows to glare at the dirt ground. “They’re people…that’s not what I signed up for.”

“Yeah,” you sigh and drop your hands to your sides. “I understand.” You lift your eyes to the sky, managing to catch two brown birds flying past your head. “We signed up to save humanity. Not to fight them. I don’t know what to feel either. I wish I could. I wish I could talk…” you pause, and return your eyes to look ahead and watch Mikasa use her ODM gear to fly to a roof that overlooks the street. You follow Armin and her, and don’t finish what you had thought of saying. Was it obvious that you dropped your comment so abruptly? Yes. But you couldn’t finish it. “I understand.” You end up saying. Your eyes flicker to Jean and you offer him a faint assuring smile.

Albeit Jean didn’t miss what you said. He didn’t return your assuring smile, or nod to say he understood, he stopped you after you walked past him on the roof. “Wait. Talk to who?”

You instinctively want to reach for your wings of freedom patch, but stop when you remember that you weren’t wearing your uniform. It saddened you, especially because even if he was gone, his patch brought solace to your aching heart—“We’ll talk about that later, yeah?” You brush Jean off. “Just don’t give up on us, okay?” You peek over your shoulder and meet his eyes filled with confusion.

Jean answers with silence; no nod, no verbal answer as short as it could’ve been. Nothing but silence as he tried to understand the thoughts running through his head. He was assured that you at least understood his struggle of morals…he knew everyone else did too, but he was assured more with the fact that you did.

——

“Gunshots!” You heard Sasha warn. After you hear her, you look to the roof she landed on with Connie and Armin, and follow where her finger pointed to. “I heard a bunch of shots!”

“You two think something happened?” Jean asks Mikasa and you beside him, while the three of you watch the streets ahead.

“Most likely,” Mikasa answers much more bluntly, before she runs forward to jump off the roof before either of you could protest against her quick actions. It causes Jean, and you to share a quick look that spoke hundreds of words neither of you spoke aloud before he, you, and others followed the sounds of gunshots alongside Mikasa.

Finding the commotion didn’t take long as you flew the sky, Connie was quick to spot Eren and Historia, passed out in their newly styled carriage. Following after them, you spotted Levi—“it’s Levi!” You point out with short lived relief, because after you spotted him, and you and everyone else began to change courses to follow him, some thug flew past and shot at Levi. The thug of course missed, letting Levi pierce his grapple hook in the man’s chest to pull him forward, so he could also fly forward to swiftly slice the man’s stomach.

You were left speechless, stunned, and wide eyed after witnessing the bloody scene, but you kept yourself focused on the chaos you were now in the middle of. You had to.

“Chase the wagon!” Levi instructed the squad once you all got close enough. Albeit, Mikasa is the only one who answered right away—“listen up!” Levi continues after Mikasa. “They’re used to fighting other people! They already got three of ours. If we’re gonna get those two back, you can't hesitate! If you get the chance, you kill! Got it?”

“Roger!” Mikasa answered with inspiring determination.

Yet you couldn’t muster the will to answer like she did. You knew what you had to do, what the right thing was to avoid being shot, but you couldn’t wrap your head around killing other people. Mikasa seemed to be so okay with it, she didn’t hesitate to agree and do what needs to be done. And you admired that, envied her ability to not let her conscience get in the way when it came down to it. It would be easy if you were like that too.

“Armin, Jean! Secure the wagon! We’ll cover you!” Levi’s instruction pulled you from your train of thought, causing your eyes to slide over to watch Armin do as he was told, while Jean hesitated for a few seconds, eventually following orders, but just hesitating after witnessing another person being killed. And even if your stomach churned with the speeding thoughts of potentially having to kill someone, you kept flying forward with your blades slightly trembling in your hands, and your eyes bouncing from the carriage and your surroundings. And in that last moment your eyes fell on the carriage, you caught Jean on the floor and a woman pointing her gun at him as he sat paralyzed with fear and hesitation.

Instinct hit you then, like lightning striking the earth. There was no hesitation, your instinct shot straight through the battle of moral debate. Your eyes determinedly set on the pair, as your mind hit you with the possible outcome of what could happen to Jean paralyzed on the floor. And those thoughts didn’t let you fret to speed forward. “Jean!” Fear and panic laced in your voice, just like they vividly expressed in your face. Mikasa seemed to have the same thought in trying to save Jean, since you caught her also swooping down below. But just before either of you could swing your blades, you both heard a shot that made you both gasp and fly past the carriage.

The loud explosion that came from the gun made your heart stop, and your breath catch in your throat. You turned in the sky to face the scene, but you averted your gaze to avoid looking at the carriage where Jean had been. You didn’t want to look out of fear of what you'd see, you let the sound of the wind howling in your ears sound over your cracking heart. You wanted to turn away and avoid looking, avoid potential heartbreak in seeing yet another of one of your friends dead, but you forced yourself to look so you could witness the outcome.

Luckily heartbreak didn’t come this time though. Armin had been the one that shot first. It left Mikasa, you, and even Armin stunned for a few seconds, more so it left Jean alive and in disbelief. Not like you could rejoice over that fact because three thugs then flew overhead with their guns trained on the two in the carriage. They flew in fast and determined, having Levi get Jean out of the way, whilst Sasha picked up Armin just in time before the thugs could shoot aimlessly and manage to hijack the carriage.

However, determined to not let Eren leave, Mikasa began to follow them. Or at least tried with all her might, because after more thugs began to follow the carriage out of the city, Levi stopped her. “Don’t do it! Fall back!”

“But,” you protested as your legs twitched to move. “We can’t let them take Eren and Historia.”

Levi continued to struggle to fight Mikasa’s attempts to follow after Eren, as fear and panic had struck her heart like it had happened with you only mere moments ago. But unlike you, she couldn’t find instant relief in seeing he was okay, or getting him back to her, she had to stay with those emotions aching her heart, only being able to express them out in a loud cry. “Eren!”

It was a cry that made your feet move forward to try and chase after them. Albeit you also got stopped. “Y/N.” Levi called to you too. “Stop. We have to let them go.”

——

“…it’s okay now. That guy is tied up, and after today you don’t have to worry about him anymore.” Jean’s voice sounded through the echoing silence in the storage room. He had been talking to Armin for some time now; in a soft and low voice that you were surprised you could hear. While Armin had tears welled up in his eyes and his words barely came out in soft chokes. You didn’t exactly know word by word what they were sharing to each other, but you knew the context of their conversation, and it involved something a sick guy that had been guarding him and Jean had done to Armin.

It was upsetting to hear Armin so upset and affected by what happened, it made you want to help comfort him, but with your mind in shambles over the news you were all told, you weren’t a good person to talk to at the moment. You couldn’t provide what he needed, but it seemed Jean was patient, and sweet enough to try and comfort Armin. He was the only one.

“I’m sorry it happened, Armin. I am.” Jean continued. “He’s not going to do anything anymore, and I promise he’ll pay for what he did, for what he said to you.”

At the sound of Jean’s words you look away from the plate in your hands and look up at him to steal a brief glance. Noticing his softened, and worried gaze by the bright yellow light of the lamp sitting in the middle of the group, and seeing his hand gently grabbing Armin’s shoulder. And you didn’t know why, but you caught yourself smiling softly at the sweet interaction. Yes, you’ve seen him act kind before, he may act tough, but if you pressed the right buttons he could be soft, but seeing that now made your heart flutter.

The feeling was sudden, but you did feel it, and it was…weird? Yeah….Weird, but also not unwelcomed or wrong. Just weird because you felt it happen with Jean.

Moreover, while you struggled to understand what you had felt, you were caught off guard and got caught looking as Jean’s eyes flickered over to you. You of course proceeded to look away as fast as humanly possible, and instead foolishly looked down at the food in your bowl in hopes he wouldn’t notice. But you werent blind, or dumb, he obviously met your eyes for that quick second before you could look away—fucking embarrassing that’s what that is.

“Are you going to eat? Or are you going to watch your food get cold?” Levi startled you.

“No.” You snap your eyes up to meet his gaze.

“No, what?” He deadpanned.

You shake your head. “No. I’ll eat.” You return your gaze to your food and scoop some up, but just before you could bring the spoon up to your mouth, you drop a hold of the wooden spoon and once again meet Levi’s gaze to ask him a serious question. “Levi, is it,” you pause and sigh, dropping your eyes to your bowl once more. “…is it right to kill people? I mean we’re supposed to save humanity, not kill them. So is what we’re doing, right?”

Even if you were willing to…kill someone in order to save Jean, in that moment your mind and your body were fueled by this instinct. It was only because at that time your mind wasn’t a clustered mess filled with overthinking, guilt and hesitation, your mind was abundantly clear with what you needed to do. But now that you were sitting, the confusing mess in your head returned and doubled in size. You just wanted to clear your mind again, but in a different way with actual answers to assure yourself with. Even if those questions made Levi have to think of a clear answer.

He exhaled deeply and tried to answer your heavy question, but how could he give you a clear answer when he didn’t even know? He could lie and say it was so you wouldn't hesitate and end up the one dead, but he couldn’t lie to you, or any of his squad members. He promised you the truth ever since you were a little girl, he’s lived to that promise even when things got too difficult for you to comprehend. But he’s always had the truth even if he did sometimes avoid saying it. The only difference now was that he didn’t know what that truth was. There was nothing to avoid, there was just a disappointing answer he could give you.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, and heard you exhale deeply with discontent. He wished he had the answer, but he didn’t.

You nod. “Okay.” You then sit in silence while you eat your food, not paying attention anymore to what happened around you until Levi broke the deafening silence moments later.

“What’s wrong? This grimy place kill your appetite?” Levi directed at Armin.

“No.” Said boy shook his head. “Jean, there’s something I don’t understand.”

Jean lifts his head and queries. “What’s that?”

“When I shot that gun to save you. I honestly thought I didn't make it in time.” Armin shared, “sorry, but why was I the one who shot first?”

You lift your head and lift your eyes to look at Jean, seeing him lower his head, and squeeze his eyes shut as his breath trembled while he remembered what happened. “That’s…”

“Because the other person hesitated,” Levi interjected. “It’s true.”

Jean’s eyes flew open and widened from the disbelief he felt at the sound of Levi’s words. He was quick to lose the surprise and instead grow serious. Even if you caught the falter in his voice. “Armin, I’m sorry…I should’ve done what I had to do.”

“I know what it is,” Armin spoke glumly. “The person that I killed…I bet they were a nice person. Someone that was much more human than I am. I pulled the trigger so easily…I did…I’m—”

“Armin,” Levi cut him off. “You’ve got blood on your hands now. You can’t go back to who you were.”

“Why would you say that?” Mikasa remarked.

“Embrace the new you.” Levi continued, “just think, if your hands were still clean…Jean wouldn't be here right now.” He paused for a moment to let silence fill the space so Armin and everyone else would understand his words. “I’ll tell you why you pulled the trigger…Because your comrade was about to die. Armin. Thanks to you getting blood on your hands, nobody on our squad ended up dead. Thank you.”

“Captain Levi.” Jean chimes in after, his eyes facing the light before him and his eyebrows furrowing and losing the uneasiness that were expressed in his face before. “I thought it was wrong to be fighting other humans. And wrong for you to order us to do it. I was afraid to be hurting other people. But…I’m the one who was wrong. Next time. I’ll shoot.”

“I never said anything about who was right, or wrong.” Levi countered, making your eyes drift over to him. “I don’t even know myself. Are you really the one in the wrong?” Levi briefly met Jean’s gaze that proceeded to widen right as he let out a shocked gasp. Neither of them said anything else on the matter, Levi left it at that before he stood up. “Now then, it’s about time we hear what he has to say.” Levi refers to the man you had taken down earlier today, a man you caught now, was Dimo Reeves.

Albeit before you could listen to the rest of the interrogation, Sasha returned inside and tapped your shoulder to gain your attention, “your turn. It should be quiet since the sun is setting.”

“Right.” You sigh and turn to head out. “I saved you some soup I made.” You point to the shitty dented pot on a box. “Eat up.”

Sasha grinned and then sped off past you to do as you said without an ounce of hesitation, letting you proceed to walk off outside and take your guarding post in silence.

Even if you knew time in this place was going to come to an end soon, Levi didn’t want to take any risks and be suddenly attacked, so he assigned a guardwatch outside the storage doors. And honestly even if you were out alone, whilst the sun left and the darkness of the night came, you didn’t mind being outside, it left you with time to think.

What's wrong?—you look up to the beautiful, fierce orange and yellow painted sky, and lean your head back on the brick wall—what’s right? I wish there was a clear answer, or at least something besides “I don’t know.”—It’s not as simple as what you wanted, but it would be something you could wrap your head around and understand.

It would be something.

You exhale deeply and drop your head to look at the dirt ground below your feet. Finding solace in the silence under the evening sky, until your peaceful silence was broken by a sudden long, and sharp whistle that sounded from an alleyway across from you.

“Hey, look at you.” A husky voice then broke through, causing you to snap your head up and look at the alley way. Spotting no one. Yet. “You’ve grown, baby Uri.”

Your eyes narrow on a figure that formed now that it was closer, and your hands wrapped around your hilts. “Now, now.” The voice scoffs. “Has that runt of yours not told you not to bring blades to a gunfight?”A bright gleam shines in the alleyway after the light of a nearby lamp hits the shotguns in the person's hands.

Under the light, you could also distinguish the figure stopping just at the end of the alleyway. You recognized that it was a tall, slim, intimidating old man with a hat on his long hair, and his eyes focused on you while his lips turned to a smirk. You intended to step back, but he pointed his gun at you before you could think of running to get Levi.

“Go in, or shout and I’ll tell my comrades to jump in and kill everyone inside. Be a good girl and stay quiet.” The man threatened.

Instead of showing fear; something you deeply felt in your bones at the moment, you instead narrow your gaze to a glare and lower your voice to a cold, intimidating tone. “Who the fuck are you?”

The man stepped forward and snickered, shaking his head and the shotgun in his hand. “Tsk. Now is that any way to talk to your papa?”

Your attempts at being intimidating, cold and unbothered dropped as everything went completely still and quiet. All except for the sound of your in disbelief grumble. “What?”

.

.

.

Tagged- @expectoscamander @greenygreenland @that-soft-lesbian-friend @dai-tsukki-desu @usernamehere91 @avocadopoosae @romancried @victor-criss-bish @moo-moo-meadow

[spideyobsessed]

Before It’s Too Late Ch. 2

peter parker x avenger!reader

Synopsis: With all the life changing events taking place, will you ever get to overcome some of your biggest fears?

Might wanna read Ch. 1

You run and run and run until your legs nearly go numb. Bumping into people, tripping over your feet, the sounds of your heavy breathing getting louder and louder. There’s only one thought etching itself into your mind: Tony’s words.

If you got your powers from that thing, then I’m positive you can do a lot more.

A lot more.

Why now? After years of having these abilities, why now? It’s almost like the words he spoke yesterday were a trigger and now they’ve awaken something that’s been dormant inside of you.

I heal and that’s it. I heal and that’s it. This can’t be happening right now.

You finally take a right down an alleyway and slow down to a stop. No words can be strung together to perfectly describe the sensation you’re feeling. It isn’t painful, but you ache. Energy is surging through your veins, but you feel like you need to lay down and rest. You feel anxious, but if the circumstances were different, you can find this quite enjoyable. It’s confusing.

You sit down right next to a dumpster and bring your knees up to your chest, fighting the urge to let out a gut wrenching scream. You can feel something inside of you bubbling up and growing stronger. It’s a tight feeling, like your body is a champagne bottle and the cork is going to skyrocket any minute now. For a brief moment, you come to the conclusion that you are literally going to explode and accept your fate.

...you can do a lot more.

Your hands cover your ears, your thoughts ultimately becoming too loud for you to endure. It’s like all of your senses are heightening, yet numbing all at once. You can’t pull it together. Your face scrunches up as you unintentionally hold your breath. Useless.

Involuntarily, you let out a cry that you’re sure can be heard throughout all of Queens. You feel your body jerk harshly three times before, all at once, everything stops.

A breath of relief escapes your lips as you finally relax your tense body, but the anxiety remains. Nothing new. Your entire physique feels tingly. Too fatigue to immediately spring into action, you remain sitting in your spot.

After a few moments, you take in your surroundings. The alley, although it was noticeably trashed when you entered, looks horrendous. The dumpster is about three feet away from you now. The windows in surrounding buildings are shattered. Several car alarms are blaring.

“What just happened to me?”

- - - - -

“You better keep your little girlfriend in check, Parker.” Flash threatens Peter before purposely bumping into him.

Unfazed by him, Peter turns his attention to Gwen. “Uh, is she..” He trails off.

“Yeah, she’s fine! I should still go check on her though. Best friend duties, ya know?” Gwen chuckles awkwardly.

Ned speaks up, “I totally get that. Being the superior friend comes with a lot of responsibilities.”

Peter furrows his eyebrows before shooting a look at his best friend, who is supposedly superior to him. “Don’t act like you didn’t know.” Ned says simply, earning a laugh from Peter.

“Exactly! So I gotta go.” Gwen says as she tries to walk away from the dorky pair.

“Can I come with you? I’d like to check on her, if that’s okay.” Peter asks.

If this were any other time, Gwen would’ve agreed before he even finished his sentence. She’s been rooting for you and Peter from the start, along with several other people, considering you two have made your feelings for each other extremely obvious to every except each other. It warms her heart to see your crush of four years finally getting the courage to get to know you.

However, having seen your hands radiating that familiar glow with her own eyes, she has to lie.

“You actually can’t b-because she’s just...on her period?” She lies horribly, but it’s perfect enough to fool two young men.

Peter immediately backs off, understanding that it’s not really his department of expertise. “Yeah I think you got this. Tell her I’ll text her later please?”

“Gotcha. Bye guys!” She waves at them before fast walking in the direction you went.

The two boys stay in place, as quiet as they’ve ever been. Both of them are obviously thinking the exact same thing. They don’t even have to say it out loud, but of course, they do anyway.

“Dude.”

“I know.”

“DUDE!”

“I KNOW!!”

They giggle together happily as they do their signature handshake before sharing a celebratory hug.

“She’s so into you!” Ned cheers when he pulls apart from his best friend.

“Do you really think so?” Peter questions, “That could’ve been strictly platonic.”

“Trust me, man. It wasn’t! She’s practically in love with you!” Ned over exaggerates, but he wasn’t wrong.

Peter doesn’t respond to his comment, but instead looks down at the ground and smiles to himself. “

‘Does she actually like me?’ He thinks.

The short events of today made him even more excited for the party tomorrow. Although he’s nervous and still very doubtful about your feelings for him, he planned on confessing his feelings for you at the party.

Ned continues to ramble on about “the birds and the bees”, (Peter doesn’t even know how he got to that topic), when suddenly chills plaster Peter’s body. He lifts up his arm and sees that every single hair is reaching straight up.

“Spidey sense. So cool.” Ned chuckles.

“Not cool. That means something is wrong, Ned.” Peter states as he begins to let his legs carry him to wherever feels right. Coincidentally, it’s in the direction Gwen just went.

As he rounds the corner, just as you and Gwen did minutes before, he spots the blonde girl standing in the doorway of the girls’ restroom. Before he can even get halfway to her, he watches as you make a beeline for the nearest exit of the school.

“I thought you said she was fine.” Peter says, strolling up next to Gwen.

“I thought you said I got this.” She quickly retorts, hoping he didn’t see your hands or eyes.

“Yeah, well look how that went.” He responds back.

He takes a few steps to walk after you, but comes to an instant halt. Peter turns on his heels and walks back up to Gwen.

“I’m sorry, that was sort of rude.” He apologizes sincerely. He looks back at the door you stormed out of and back at Gwen once more, “I’m just worried about her. Something is telling me to go check on her.”

He lightly jogs to the exit before Gwen can spit out another lie to protect you. Peter pushes the door open with determination, the cool wind breezing against his face. His head snaps left and right, looking for any sign of you.

A group of girls chatting.

Someone rushing through their homework.

A guy skating across campus.

“There she is.” Peter mumbles when he finally spots you.

He’s able to take one step before being yanked backwards by his backpack.

“Leaving so soon, Mr. Parker? It’s not even lunch yet.” He hears the voice of his principal.

“Uhh I have gym class next. I was just going to get a head start on my mile.” Peter lies through his teeth with a sheepish grin.

He might be good at fighting crime and protecting his neighborhood, but if there’s one thing Peter can’t do to save his life, it’s lie.

The principal obviously saw right through him and chuckled dryly. With a firm grip still on his backpack, Peter gets walked back into the hallways of his school. His principal even takes it upon himself to watch the young boy walk into his next class, earning laughs and taunts from Mj.

- - - - -

It was only a few minutes into physics whenever Peter’s senses started sounding off alarms in his head again. His eyes scan the classroom, every student with their heads down and focused on their work. He glances at the teacher, who is steadily typing away at her laptop.

“Psst. Ned!”

Ned, who is sitting directly in front of him, turns around, surely prepared to make some outlandish comment. However, upon seeing the worry on his friend’s face, he decides against it.

“Spidey sense?” Ned asks simply.

Peter frantically nods his head, “I’m almost positive it’s Y/n. It feels different. It feels the same way it did whenever I thought she was being followed.”

He takes one more anxious glance around the classroom to make sure none of his classmates were eavesdropping.

“I need you to create a distraction.”

Ned gives him a single nod before swiveling his seat back to its prior position. He obnoxiously clears his throat, “Uh ma’am, I think there’s a mistake on this paper. Here let me show you.” He rises from his seat and as soon as he does, everyone hears a mysterious low rumble.

Peter and Ned make eye contact, knowing that it’s already too late. Whatever Peter was being warned about is already happening. Without a single notice, the entire school is shook by a harsh vibration.

Boom

The students begin to talk amongst themselves worriedly before another vibration strikes. Panicked yelps scattering all around the classroom.

Boom

“Everyone stay calm. There’s no need to get worked up.” The teacher attempts to calm the students, despite sounding panicked herself.

If every fiber in Peter wasn’t going haywire already, there’s no doubt that they are now. It’s almost like he can felt the movements before they happen. He flies out of his chair and peers out the window.

He’s not sure if what he’s witnessing can be seen by everyone or if it’s just his heightened senses. “What the hell is that?” He mumbles to himself.

Peter watches as a violent ray of purple aura heads straight for them, everything in its way viciously convulsing. His heart rate quickens as he turns to face his classmates.

“Everybody get down!” He shouts, the people surrounding him do not waste a second to fling themselves onto the floor.

Peter grabs a hold of Ned and together they hit the deck just in time.

Boom!

A purple wave is washed over them, shattering the large windows in the process. Glass flies everywhere as the terrified shrieks of each individual fills the air.

The wave left just as quick as it came. Peter and Ned are the firsts to pop up from the ground, breathing heavily with shaky limbs. They look out of the broken window and are absolutely astonished by the amount of destruction that was caused in such little time.

“Still think it’s Y/n?” Ned chuckles in amazement.

Peter doesn’t answer because at this point he doesn’t know what to think. He definitely doesn’t want to rule it out. Whether it was you or not, he can only hope that you’re okay...wherever you are.

“Okay ladies and gentlemen, we need to evacuate now! Get on your feet and start calling your parents, we need to move!” The teacher instructs.

Everyone hurriedly follows in pursuit.

- - - - -

You let out a groan as you slowly pick yourself up from the floor of the dirty alleyway. Aside from being a little lightheaded and having a slight sharp pain on your side, you’re feeling 100 times better.

You dust yourself off, taking another look around as you do so.

Okay. Maybe that stone isn’t amethyst after all. You admit to yourself.

A dry cough erupts from your throat as you begin to walk to... well you don’t know where you’re going. You don’t want to go home yet, just in case an episode like this happens again. You wouldn’t want to put Alice in danger.

Just as you exit the dimly lit backstreet, an old man with thinning white hair and a white mustache to match it speed walks over to you.

“It’s the damn aliens!” He shouts as he whips out a tinfoil hat.

Where did he get that from??

“It’s the aliens, I say! They’ve finally arrived!” The man continues to yell as he carries on.

He wasn’t the only one in a frenzy. Everyone roamed the streets talking to one another. Theorizing what great threat they think has struck New York now, complaining about their vehicles, using some pretty strong language.

The pit of anxiety residing in your stomach quickly turns to guilt. You’re fully aware that you couldn’t control your actions, but it doesn’t change the fact that you still caused all of this damage. The further you walk, the guiltier you begin to feel.

How far did it reach?

You thought you only affected a block or two at most, but now you are starting to believe you victimized the entire city.

“Kid!” You hear a familiar voice.

You snap your head to the left and see a black vehicle with tinted windows. In the backseat sits none other than Tony Stark.

“You are in huge trouble. Amethyst crystal my ass.” He scolds.

The door pops open, “Get in.”

Not having the energy to argue back, you slide yourself into the car.

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” you clarify.

“Well I sure hope not. Happy, to the tower.”

The drive wasn’t long, only about 20 minutes, but the silence made it feel like hours. You’ve tried apologizing multiple times, but every single time you were dismissed by the lift of a hand.

Once in the tower, you didn’t even have time to look around in wonder at all the high tech features of the place. You were put in a room with Tony sitting directly in front of you. His eyebrows are furrowed, eyes focused on you, and his leg is bouncing so fast he could drill a hole in the ground. He still has yet to speak a single word.

You open your mouth to say something, but your phone begins to vibrate. Instead of answering, you freeze, not wanting to make Stark even more upset, if that’s possible. You also don’t want to see all the angry texts from Aunt Alice.

“You gonna get that?” Tony questions.

“Oh, he speaks.” You attempt to make a joke, but you’re the only one laughing.

Your smile falters as you take your phone out of your pocket to see who’s calling. Peter.

The smile returns once you lay eyes on the goofy contact picture he took on your phone. As much as you want to answer, you figured it would be better to wait for another time. It would be sort of hard to explain everything. Especially while Tony is shooting daggers into your head.

You take a swift scroll through your texts.

Gwen: That was so cool and kinda scary at the same time! Was that you??

Peter: Hey! Don’t mean to bother, I just wanna check up on you. Sorry I say that a lot haha.

Peter: Text me back when you’re feeling better. I hope you’re okay!

Alice: Y/n, you NEED to call me back. NOW!

Alice: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if you’re safe.

Peter: I also want to say thank you for standing up to Flash for me. Even though I totally could’ve taken him myself! Okay okay, sorry for triple texting!

You send Alice a simple message back just to ease her nerves and not ground you before locking your phone.

You look up to see Tony still staring at you quite intensely. If you didn’t know any better, you could’ve sworn he hasn’t blinked yet. You clear your throat.

“Look, Mr. Stark, I really didn’t mean for-“

He cuts you off, “No no no, it doesn’t matter if you meant it or not. That’s not going to reverse what you just did!”

His tone of voice makes your heart shudder, the guilt you were feeling from earlier returning. You decide not to talk again unless he tells you to.

Stark runs a hand through his hair in frustration before cradling his left hand as he pushes himself out of his seat.

“I know you couldn’t control it.” His tone is softer now. “It’s not fair for me to take my anger out on you, I’m sorry.”

You still don’t dare to say another word. He sighs and walks over to the window that has a perfect view of the city.

“I’m not really angry. I’m just...scared.” Tony admits.

This is not the man you’ve been seeing all over the news for years. Tony Stark has never been one to be so vulnerable and open about his feelings. Or anything for that matter. You sure as hell didn’t expect a superhero to ever get scared, much less admit it to someone he barely met yesterday.

“Scared of what?” You ask quietly.

He turns and makes eye contact with you once again, but this time you don’t feel like he’s ready to attack. There’s a beat of contemplation coming from him before he says, “The little outburst you had might’ve sent a signal to a really bad guy. A really bad, really powerful guy. His intentions aren’t the best, and it won’t be long until he comes here.”

You blink a couple of times trying to process what he’s telling you. If an avenger is this scared of some “guy”, then you really have a situation on your hands.

“He’s coming for me?” You squeak.

Tony returns to his seat in front of you, “Not technically. But he will be coming for the stone that you have locked away in a desk drawer.”

“So if I’m in the way...”

“He won’t be afraid to move you.” Stark affirms.

You sink down in your chair, taking it all in. How has your life completely flipped upside in just two days. Two days! Just as you might finally get a chance with Peter after crushing on him for so long, you possibly just devastated the entire city. Maybe the entire country. Maybe the planet. You don’t really know how bad it is, but you feel too sick to your stomach to bother asking.

“How long until this dude gets here.” You ask.

Tony snorts at your usage of the word “dude” when describing someone who has destroyed multiple planets, but of course, you don’t know that yet.

“Our very own time telling wizard gives us about a week. A week and a half, if we’re lucky.” He answers.

“Great.” You sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

You take a look at Tony, who sends you a sympathetic smile. You return a defeated one, tears burning at the corner of your eyes.

“We’re not going down without a fight, kid. That’s the one thing I can promise you.” He says sincerely, trying to make you feel better.

Although you appreciate the sentiment, you don’t respond in fear that the lump in your throat will make your voice crack. Instead you change the subject.

“Why do you keep nursing your arm like it’s a defenseless baby goat?” You ask, earning a hearty laugh from the man in front of you.

“Well after 10 years of being one of earth’s mightiest heroes, you’re gonna walk away with some battle scars.” Tony explains.

You let out a light chuckle, almost forgetting exactly who you’re talking to. With a smirk on your face, you stand on your feet and walk towards him, “May I?”

He scoffs and gives you a strange look, but nonetheless, offers his hand. You take it with both of yours and close your eyes. It isn’t long until you feel the warmth of your energy flowing through your veins and to your palms. Tony watches in amazement as his hand is engulfed by the same sensation that shook the city just hours ago.

You finally let go and open your eyes just in time to see the dumbfounded look on his face. He closes his hand into a fist, and then opens it as he wiggles his fingers around.

“Who’s the happy fingers now?” You tease. “I can’t heal 10 years of injury after injury in one sitting, but it should feel a little better now.”

Tony is still shocked beyond belief. All he can do is let out small breathy chuckles and stare at this hand that’s nearly good as new.

“Y/n.” He manages to say.

You’re shocked to hear him say your actual name. Weirded out even.

Stark finally puts down his hand and gives you a look of astonishment.

“How would you like to be an avenger?”

Your eyes widen and your jaw drops. Tony Stark, aka IRONMAN, wants you to be an avenger. After you’ve wrecked miles and miles of property, he’s asking you to be an avenger?!

“What? I mean...w-what?!” You let out an incredulous laugh. “You want me to- even after every- I can’t..I-I..” All you can do is stammer.

“Well don’t say yes too quick” Stark rolls his eyes.

“Sorry, I’m sorry! It’s just that I didn’t even know the avengers were a thing anymore. I also don’t know the first thing about being a superhero. All I do is heal tiny animals and cure hangovers.” You ramble.

Tony stands whiles still wiggling his hand around, enjoying the extra mobility it suddenly has. “And if you can do what you did today in a more controlled manner, you’ll be unstoppable. A bit of combat training wouldn’t hurt either.”

You think it over in your head. What he’s saying makes a lot of sense. You still don’t know what happened to you today, and you’d love nothing more than to figure it out. Tony is the perfect person to help with that.

Being an avenger is a lot of pressure though. Only a week and a half to train and fight some “really bad, really powerful guy”? It’s impossible. You’d be way over your head. You would get yourself killed.

“I know it’s a lot to take in.” Stark saying, practically reading your mind. “But I believe you can do it, and I’m never wrong. Scratch Saturday, you’re coming in tomorrow for immediate testing and training. Expect to be here all day.” He orders, returning back to his assertive persona.

All day tomorrow?

“I actually can’t tomorrow, Mr. Stark sir.” You say a little under your breath.

“You what now?” Tony stops in his tracks.

“I-I can’t come tomorrow. I’m going to a party, I sorta have a date.” You explain, getting quieter and quieter after hearing how pathetic you sound.

It’s his turn to laugh incredulously, “Yeah, sweet cheeks, and the world is sorta in immortal danger. I’ll let Happy know he needs to take you home and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You don’t bother trying to protest or be a smart ass because he makes a very valid point. “See you tomorrow.” you say, mostly to yourself.

- - - - -

Three knocks echo from your bedroom door as you sit at your desk doing some chemistry homework.

“Hey hun! I brought oranges slices.” Your Aunt Alice shuffles past the doorframe. As she comes closer, the brightest smile on her face, You notice she made a smiley face on the plate full of poorly cut oranges.

You let out a giggle and set down your pencil, “Thank you Ali, they look great!” You begin to eat the juicy treat while Alice takes in the atmosphere of your room.

“Those weird earthquakes were crazy today, huh?” She absentmindedly makes conversation.

“Earthquakes. Right. Yeah it was crazy. They really shook me at the core.” You say sarcastically, soaking in the irony.

Alice only hums in response. You watch her eyes dart from your trophies and then to the chair with clothes piled on it and then to the plants perched on your window until they finally land on the picture of her, your mom, and yourself.

It was your 11th birthday and you had cake smeared all across your face. The memory is so vivid, you can still hear the beautiful melody of your mother’s laugh dancing through the air. It’s the last picture you have of her.

“I miss her too.” You speak quietly, fearing if you spoke too loudly, the memory would go away.

Her gaze returns to you, tears brimming her eyes and her smile a little less bright. “You remind me of her so much, Y/n.” All you can offer her is a warm smile.

You’ve already cried all the tears you had left. You clear your throat, “Thanks again for the oranges, Ali.”

She wipes the tears that manage to break free before placing a quick kiss on the top of your head.

“Take out will be here soon.” She informs as she exits the room, her cheerful tone returning.

“Sounds good.” You respond.

You take one more glance at the picture of the three of you before getting back to work. However, like most things here lately, you didn’t get very far.

“Shoo, shoo! Stupid bird. I hate you!” You hear a muffled voice coming from outside. You wouldn’t have found this odd, if you weren’t on the fourth floor of an apartment complex.

You rush over to your window and peek outside, and much to your surprise you see just the person you needed to see. You snicker before unlocking your window and pushing it up.

“Peter, what are you doing up here?” You whisper.

“Oh, ya know, just...fighting some birds.” He chuckles weakly at being caught.

You smile wildly at the sound of his voice and the sight of him covered in feathers. You’re feeling too giddy to even question how he got up here. “Get in!” You move out of the way so he can crawl into your room.

Oh my god. Peter Parker is in my bedroom!

You hurry to shut the door, so Alice doesn’t see a boy in your room. You turn back around to see Peter stealthily make his way past your potted plants. He hops in with a soft grunt.

“Hi.” He says shyly once he finally looks at you.

“Hi.” You say back in the same tone.

Peter looks down at his hands, causing you to just notice he’s holding a plastic bag. “Um this is for you. You never answered my texts so I thought I should just...sneak by.”

You take the bag from him and sit on your bed, Peter copying your actions. Your breath hitches as your shoulders touch.

OH MY GOD!

You pull yourself together enough to take a look in the bag.

There are several things inside. Two chocolate bars, your favorite ice cream, a large bottle of water, a box of tissues, and a dvd of your favorite movie.

You look towards Peter with the softest smile to ever lie upon your lips.

“What’s all this for?” You nearly whisper, your heart aching at the gesture.

“Gwen mentioned that it was that time of the month for you, so I brought you some things. I asked her for your favorite snacks and stuff.” He explains as his face burns with a rosy tint.

You’re not on your period, so you just assume that Gwen covered for you earlier today. She could’ve come up with literally anything else because her lie is kind of embarrassing, but you’re not complaining at the moment.

After you don’t saying anything in response, Peter starts to ramble nervously. “I’ve seen this movie once, it’s pretty good! I don’t know if it’s Star Wars level good, but I’d recommend it to someone. Now that I think about it, I don’t know why I brought you a copy. If it’s your favorite movie, you probably already have it so that’s kinda stupid of me I guess. Did you know that-“

You could listen to this boy talk for hours and hours, but for now, you interrupt him with a tight hug. It takes him a second to process, his mind and his heart going just as crazy as yours. He recoups soon, wrapping his arms tightly around your lower back.

“Thank you, Peter. You really didn’t have to do this.”

“I just wanted to make your rough day a little better.”

And that, he did. More than he even knows. The two of you hug for a little while longer before pulling apart, your faces only inches away from each other.

You gulp as you look into his brown eyes. You’ve never seen them this close before. Chills are sent down Peter’s spine, but for a different reason this time. A better reason.

His eyes begin to flutter shut as he leans in and you mirror his movements.

It’s finally happening, and so fast too! Peter Parker is now literally in the palm of your hands. You try your best to maintain your excitement. Another uncontrollable episode is not what you need right now.

You can basically feel his lips on yours already. Your first kiss with Peter...

“Y/n! The food is here!”

...was too good to be true. Of course.

The sound of Alice’s voice makes you and Peter jolt to opposite ends of the bed. You run your hands over your face and let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah Alice, I’ll be right there!”

The air becomes still as you and Peter look at everything in the room except for each other. He’s the first to speak up, “Well uh, I should let you go eat.” He rubs his hands on his legs.

“Yeah I probably shouldn’t keep my aunt waiting. She’s scary when she’s hangry.” You joke to lighten the mood.

You both share a small laugh before you walk Peter over to the window he’d just entered through.

“Thank you again for everything. You’re a really good friend.”

He doesn’t show it, but that word just stabbed him in the heart. Friend.

“Anything for you, Y/n/n. You should go, I don’t want you to see me climbing these walls.” Peter says truthfully, but plays it off as a joke.

You laugh along with him, “Call me if you hurt yourself. I have ways to fix ya up.” You say truthfully as well.

Neither of you catch on to the other’s honesty.

You give each other an endearing smile before parting way.

Once your back is turned, you whisper to yourself, “Friend? Why did I say that?”

Here’s one more thing to beat yourself up about all night long.

“Y/n, The food!” Alice yells, the hunger taking over.

“I’m coming!” You should in an equally frustrated tone, but because of a different type of hunger.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Sorry it took a while to post this chapter!! I tried making it longer than the others to make up for it :)

Omgg my Tom fic, The “Friendship” Test is currently sitting at 800+ notes, that’s insane!! Thank you guys so much, I know I say that a lot but I truly mean it!

((excuse any typos, i write at night))

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