#i get minimum 1 a week
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it's strange to me that i get so many dms asking if i want to commission the sender. like. with all due respect that's not how it works
#i get minimum 1 a week#is it because people see that i DO commission artists?#possibly. regardless that is nooot how you market yourself.#it makes me sad/uncomfortable to have to be like ''no thank you!'' over and over :L#while we're here i just want to say my dms are for business inquiries (aka people who want to commission ME)#and friends only#i don't respond to ''hi'' messages or the like. sorry :L
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this left me a bit insane ngl
#HIS SMILE IS SO AWKTSJFSNGD😭😭💖#ARAJIN DIDN'T LEFT HIM BLEEDING ON THE FLOR LETS GOOOO🗣🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️#the bare minimum I know but THEYRE GETTING BETTER TRUST🙏🔥🔥🔥#I LOVED THIS EPISODE IT WAS SO GOOD#MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED ARAJIN DID HAD A BIT OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT#NOW IM WAITING FOR MORE ANGST WITH HIM PLEASE DESTROY HIM [affectionate]#I do think this was the end of arc 1 and we’re going to get into the juicy bits next week hopefully#this scene in particular made me regain hope of seeing Arajin and Matakara’s “friendship” get better#All I want is to see is Arajin consider Matakara his friend that’s all I ask😭#bucchigiri?!#arajin tomoshibi#matakara asamine#MaJin#AraMata#MataJin#war arc is over now start the say gex arc🔥🔥🔥#anime#live kaii reaction#kaiicore
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Hello variously irresponsible fellow losers someone please give me the mental permission to spend money on things I want because I can afford it, it makes me happy, and I’ve earned all of the money for it. Just external validation because I Earned The Fun Thing. Please.
#chaoticbuggybitchboy#I earned the money with my big kid job and it’s to spend money on fun things for bands that I like#and there’s this stupid little voice in my head saying that I need to save my money because I don’t have very much#and sure yeah I shouldn’t be spending this much a week bc this is literally how much I make a week almost#<- it’s 1 day of work and I work three days per 2 weeks#so its 1/3 of my paycheck#which is not very much#I make like 150 dollars more or less I’m making minimum wage here#but yeah anyways I can afford a 50$ purchase of little treats once a year#esp since I’ll be able to get a job when I graduate and I’ll work the whole school year too#I don’t need to sit in the corner rocking over this#but uh yeah here I am
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Applying for 50 jobs within 12 months and not getting a single offer is almost an accomplishment woah I’m so talented x
#it’s killing me j wasted the last 3 months of my life working full time unpaid (internship)#and I was like. j need to suck up this bc it’ll get me a job#and I’ve applied to 25 jobs since starting this internship and I have not succeeded in getting a job#I just want to kms I’m ngl#my current org has offered me a full time job buy for a salary that’s literally minimum wage#so. that’s pretty fucking crap#I applied to 25 jobs in the last month while working full time . like I am so exhausted#I had an interview yesterday morning literally the morning of my grandmas funeral and just got emailed now that I haven’t gotten the job#yknow? I’m just heartbroken at this point#and I still have 1 week left working this internship and there’s literally no point#I was literally a middle level manager in this current job for no pay even worker across a weekend once#and it’s literally for nothing 🤣🤣🤣#I have a masters degree !! and 4 months of full time work experience and another several years worth of working part time#it’s not like I’m one of those grads who’s never worked a day in their life#and like i know no one can get a job these days. like barely any of my friends have anything#but money is beginning to become a little terrifying. so shelving the corporate applications and time to go back to being a barista again#not that I’m even guaranteed getting a job in that.#just spent a week living with a friend in Boston who IS employed straight out of undergrad for a rly cool nonprofit#literallt living my dream yknow what that rly challenged my ability to just be happy for my friends#I just don’t know how I keep on going like this tbh
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Got a job interview at the movie theater at the mall like 3 months after applying there. We'll see!
#I dont think Im going for it but figured I have to give it a shot#Currently im Getting Hours at my job and also getting every other saturday off so its basically the best it can get#So my Requirements for the moopie theater job would be 1. minimum of 24 hours a week 2. Every other saturday off or at least Off By 5pm#So yeah not high hopes here. but WE'LL SEE!#Minimum 24 hours a week and not working fulltime Ever I should say#WE'LL SEE!!! the primary advantage is its walking distance from my apartment so#like Snow wont be a possible issue like it is with the having to bike 3 miles job#Ok thats everyones update!!!
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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#SORRY im mad about my stupid college again#WHY do they require so many internhip hours??????#no wait i KNOW why. bc the chef who runs the program is EVIL AND STUPID#he literally thinks he as a chef is gods gift to this earth. he thinks CHEFS are gods gift to this earth but only if they agree with him.#however. gods gift to this earth do NOT deserve breaks. ('chefs dont get breaks' is a direct quote)#he thinks all chefs should work like dogs and SUFFER. and the industry should never change#and he loves the power of being the program head. (and most students' advisor)#and he can say im preparing you to be the best!!!!! and get away with it#and he doesnt respect pastry chefs. and guess what i am hahahah#like i know the culinary industry is toxic and most chefs are jerks. but bakeries are very different from restaurants#so i thought i could handle some jerky chefs during school and get my degree and go work in a bakery#(i can handle some jerky chefs)#the problem was that a jerky chef ran the program as if you were already working in the worst restaurant environment imaginable#and he only taught like everyone wanted to be world renown chefs of 5 star parisian restaurants that take 4 years to get a reservation#(which is crazy that he thinks hes qualified to get other people to that level but ok.)#and thats great for people who want that! but some people (me) just want a cute little bakery!#also ! its advertised as a 2 year associates program#which. is true that you'll only get an associates degree out of it#but 2 years is including summer semesters. sorry i don't think thats how that works. i think thats 3 years#2 years for people who decide to do extra and take summer semesters.#and i think the only realistic way to complete the internship hours is to take an off semester and only do the internship#so you're not doing it at the same time as classes#but that adds a minimum of 1 semester and maximum 2#or if you cram the spring and fall semesters to have summer off and do the internship during summer#summer semesters are shorter. so youd have less weeks to complete the same amount of hours#it is simply not a 2 year program for the average person!!!!!!#i was IN COLLEGE FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!! AND I ONLY TOOK 1 (ONE) PASTRY CLASS!!!!!! I SHOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!#and what do you MEAN you expect me to be in college for 3 years and only get an associates degree out of it. no thank you#its almost like...... an associates degree requires 2 years of schooling........ and theres too much happening in this program.......#bc the man in charge of it is power hungry and wants to control people and thinks chefs need to be beat into shape.......
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more photo diary posts.. various life images...
#photo context/information described here in the tags since there are no longer photo captions#(from top left to right) Image 1: BIG matcha bubble tea milkshake thing I made lazily by just getting a thing of matcha#ice cream and blending it up then adding some of those bobas you make at home lol.. served in the weird giant wine glass looking thing I h#have. image 2: the moon and two stars (or planets)!! not a very good photo/barely visible but I'm suprised I was able to get anyting#at all.#image 3: one of my WiiFit game scores ghh. A PERFECT score in this game like the minimum you could possibly get though is 15 seconds so#16.9s is VERY close.. ! image 4: some of the eyes I've carved so far out of avocado pits! one of them I even embedded a gem into for#the pupil type part of the eye. I think this is my favorite thing to make so far in my experiments with avocado. I was thinking of making a#whole necklace of eyes or something.#image 5: NASTURTIUMS... MY children.. favorite flowere...#image 6&7 : some little flowers I found in someone's yard. I Just Think They're Neat#image 8: I don't even remember why I took a picture of this it's just at tiny turkey and cheese pinwheel type rolled sandwich thing#maybe because the plate is tiny?? not very notable but. I added it to the photoset when i drafted this a week ago so . keeping it#image 9: a smoothie thing of coconut ice cream and fresh strawberries with some boba#image 10: various sketches from my desk where I jsut draw absentmindedlty on the keyboard tray all the time#if I am allowed to have a white surface near me i WILL draw on it lol#photo diary#eyes tw#eye contact#idk what to tag the eyes as or if it counts since theyre not real it's just painted wood basically? let me know if it should be something#different or another tag
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Trying to get ahead of an unsustainability cycle that might be starting up this week,,, (I start work).
#this turned into a bit of a rant whoops#mypost#have been chilling recovering from breast reduction the last month#steadily helping my mom out around the house more and more#but neow imma be working a ~35hr week (not including commute times during rush hour rip)#starting tmr#and I’m remembering that 1) it takes me more time to shower bc I have to be careful with boobz. also I have to wash my bra every night bc da#scars can’t get infected. so the whole process of showering is connected to also washing and drying my bra and putting on lotions n such so#it takes an hour minimum#2) doing stuff for my mom… is always spontaneous and urgent and takes up more time/energy than I think#3) my mom is bad at food stuff on a personal level and that’s transferring to the household bc a lot of stuff including a) she’s hella busy#and stressed. b) the price of food 💀keeps goin up ayoo. c) she is restricting herself to only eating twice a day??? idk why????#d) she also considers a meal to be anything she throws together no matter how unbalanced/nontasty it is#e) I’m also so bad at cooking/meal prep/etc but lowkey have a Thing abt food rn and cannot eat random junk even if I’m v hungry#. all this to say: idk how to do my household duties (communicating with mom. nightly dishes. small stuff that builds) when I have a feeling#imma be hella hungry this whole week.#WAIT I FORGOT THO IMMA BE MAKING MONEYYYY 💰 💴 💵 so I can pay for lunch at work ayooo#((not thinking abt budgeting atm lol 😬. I’m fortunate enough to have a 529 plan for college so semester times are all g)#4) I’m also doing two coursera courses atm (personal finance for young adults and Good With Words) …. I will prob not be able to get much#done in these courses when I have a full week rip#5) I gotta prepare for abroad (applying for visa. dealing with large government structures 😭😭😭) and in general attend to my emails#all dis. hmm#oh and also personal upkeep: gotta order eczema lotion. gotta get in contact with doctors abt leg and jaw PT. gotta follow thru with PT.#falling behind on a productive schedule while balancing my moms needs and my needs and my long-term health/personal project stuff is gonna#be difficult…#hm#writing this out is. hm.#all g all g I am a young adult I gotta handle this stuff now 🧑#great freedom = great responsibility and all that shiz#FUCK I FORGOT I HAVE TO EXERCISE TOO FUCK!!!! DANG NABBIT
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Why is living so expensive
#i would like to move out to a very simple small place. surely 400 a week is a tad too high price to expect a small 1 person place.#every fucking webbed site for rent: shsred place? shared place maybe? shared place? 650 a week for 1 bedroom 1 bathroom? shared place?#im sorry minimum wage a week is 900 and you want all of that for a shitty no utilities 1 bedroom place? thats what you want? you want me to#fucking die?#im already depressed today and you want fucking 900 a week? you bastards? you fucking cunts?#lower the prices or die idc#maybe i am radical but rent shouldnt take more than half a ducjing pay check hello#personal#dont even get me started on the 4 weeks bond and 2 weeks rent advance most places want#die die die die die die die#this is why living in the city fucking sucks. tbis is why people are leaving the city you mother fuckers
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I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill
#I'm just ranting don't mind me it's fine I am continuing to exist as usual I may delete this later bc it's a bit of a bummer to read#I prefer to keep my blogging to fun or otherwise nonserious content because it's supposed to be for decompression no real world drama here#I got into a 3 hour body language study and earned $50 so I spent that as fun money on a couple games during the Steam sale just to#take a break from the constant cycle of getting paid and then immediately saying goodbye to all but about 15 cents#(well it was 1 game Slime Rancher 2 and then 2 expansion packs one for Planet Zoo and another for Cities Skylines long play hours mileage)#I've tried to budget to buy small things like a fan or a toothbrush maybe (mine is 8yrs old and doesn't charge sometimes) but NOPE#let alone stashing away over $2000 for the amount of treatment I need given tooth extractions are $200-$500 each#I use about $50 of groceries a week ($30 USD) sometimes up to $80 if I need to buy some extra toiletries or bonuses like ham/falafel/bread#our last quarterly power bill was $1900 FOR NO REASON even for a winter one#olessan oration#the work I have is HIT/mturk type work which pays amazingly well and I am so grateful because I can't work in a traditional environment due#my inability to sleep/wake on anyone else's schedule and need for engaging work but it also means each worker is basically a contract worke#picking their own hours which is VERY HARD to stick to for me since I may also have ADHD-i but that diagnosis also costs like $2000 in Aus#so I'm doing my best fucking lmao#I have a set minimum hours I want to keep up to and move to full time but I am so exhausted by the constant background noise of#the tooth problems that I burn out very quickly#like the tooth ache isn't that bad#the tooth is actively dying but the pain isn't unbearable it just shits me off at all times#it's bearable most of the time and doesn't affect my sleep unless the temp is cold or something#it's been bad this week tho so I've gone through almost all my ibuprofen managing it#the tooth that broke off broke off earlier in the year and the gum has mostly healed over and the dead root is concealed inside my gums now#that stopped being painful in mid 2021 but when it died it was pretty bad it did stop me sleeping for a couple weeks#Christmas 2021 involved me contemplating ripping the tooth out myself lmao#the nerve eventually died seemingly without an abscess#unless I DID have an abscess but that seems extremely unlikely because abscesses are SEVERE AND HORRIBLE AND LIFE THREATENING#sometimes I can feel the tooth ligament wiggling on its own or I like flex it by accident it's so weird bc the tooth is gone so#the ligament is still holding onto the root but with way less weight#anyway I am eating my mac n cheese n veg with the side that has the missing tooth because the cavity tooth has a big bruise along the gumli#gumline which may be from overzealous brushing (I fill the tooth will temporarily filling putty and it needs to be cleaned well when the#putty falls out)
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The kiosk is actually pleasant when I don’t have to be there 5 days a week for 30+ hours.
#idk if I said but I’m still working there just case the new job seems shady#unfortunately the minimum hours I can work is 12 so 1 weekend day and one day during the week after work#I asked if I could do 3 days during the week so I can weekends off sometimes#but yeah it’s actually pleasant#during the week I get there at 5:30 and gets pretty dead at the time so I’m chilling just cleaning#I wouldn’t mind doing like 4-8 a week all the time since it gets me out the house#but only having 1 day off some weeks kinda sucks so I won’t be doing this for long#mom said try to do until my probation at the new job but that ain’t until April 7th… 😬 don’t know about that#callyie chat#work shenanigans
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sketch of the vision that i had for maid day (5/10)
#tbh i should prob just do sketches like these a lot more#instead of always pushing for full color bc those take like 4-5 hrs minimum#which is bad for my back#also i only get to draw like around 1hr on weekdays now 😭😭#it will take me 1 week to finish shit#with that out of the way#rosa my beloved#hibari & rosa an unlikely duo but i still drew them#they have at least one thing in common#rosa oniyanagi#hibari kyoya#oniyanagi#khr#khr oc#oc#original character#einart
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Characters: Pete Phongsakorn Saengtham, Main house cast
Additional Tags: Pete's POV, Pre-Canon, I have a lot of thoughts about the consequences of Tawan’s death, the way it impacted the main family as whole
Summary: Pete doesn't linger on the past. He does not yearn for it the way Big seems to do, sometimes. It’s just… Since Tawan’s betrayal, something changed. It’s a stupid thought, because nothing is really different, but Pete can’t help but notice all the things that are a little more harder, a little less nice. It feels like the tides are shifting, and no one knows how to go against them.
#Océ écrit#kinnporsche fanfiction#pete saengtham#kpappreciation#week 1: beginning#I feel like my most esoteric usused tag here was#structural storytelling from someone's point of view#but it felt really strange to use it#anyway!#this one was a study of me cutting down my wordiness to a minimum#let's hope that the result is tight enough#(and let's hope that I get more than one comment this time XD)
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somewhat accidentally beta’d the start to akari’s first pokemon, fixed the start of misbis 3, and got started on another artfight project :) time to chill and read some manga before dinner, take care of the ponies, and then do a lil more artsy stuff before bed tonight. kayaking tomorrow!!!
#i love my horses so much but i am also finding much love for kayaking#when i finally move i'm absolutely going to need to find somewhere to kayak in the state i move to#new state priorities are 1. good horse vets 2. home pasture for the horses 3. kayaking#not that i dont love my vets where i am but i shit you not there are a total of 5 (minimum) vets for well over 1000 horses#possibly well over 2000#i would like somewhere with more vets so i am not desperately trying to make a vet visit or even just get in contact with one#and having to wait two or three weeks even just for a conversation#I WILL SAY THO!!!#if these vets know you they know you#when i put simon down they sent me a memorial card (i'm sure they do that for plenty of people but it still meant a lot)#the vet who did the surgery on maevus when she was a baby will ask me how she's doing if i'm in with a different horse#they're good vets and they're also good people
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It's very frustrating to have a disability that is changeable. Because of period where I have high energy or means I likely wouldn't get disability pension but when depressed I can't focus for more than 2-3 mins and would likely qualify for disability but changeable=not qualifies
#about me#actually bipolar#so I'm on jobseeker with limited ability to afford housing. and i have obligation to look for work and get job but i can't speak several#days per week which means hard to get job. can't reliably answer phones. talk to customers. talk to managers#+ not being able to focus like how do data entry when i can't think numbers#and takes minimum 1 hour to shower. get dressed. brush teeth. which like isn't a lot but that's minimum#took me two hours the other day#when I'm sleeping 10 - 11 hours a night + nap in the day#when i can barely cook on my own and certainly not on hard day. which is often right now#fuck bipolar like seriously fuck this bullshit.
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