#not that i dont love my vets where i am but i shit you not there are a total of 5 (minimum) vets for well over 1000 horses

[kelpiemomma]

somewhat accidentally beta’d the start to akari’s first pokemon, fixed the start of misbis 3, and got started on another artfight project :) time to chill and read some manga before dinner, take care of the ponies, and then do a lil more artsy stuff before bed tonight. kayaking tomorrow!!!

[yuikira]

𓈒࣪ The "you" shaped spot ₊✧

warnings: pure fluff, one implication of having sex, bits of crying, hurt/comfort, ooc kinich, very self indulgent, i apologize for mistakes.

GOD THE ANGUISH I FEEL SINCE THERE HAVE BEEN NO GOOD KINICH FICS RECENTLY

m so sorry mualani i love you but i hate you coz you're so shipped w kinich it makes me cry in anguish burn in despair and writhe in pain..coz hes mine. not yours. never yours (guys am i mentally ill)

"y/n?"

well, this was strange. if he still remembers how to read the time correctly, it's 3:30 pm and you should be at home today. yet he couldn't hear a single sound from the shared household, implying you were, infact, not at home. huh? that was wholly strange. you both had no urgent tasks for today, so where were you gone? your date was in 1�� hrs time, so he didn't have a tinge of worry about it. he knew you'd return by that time, even if you were gone somewhere. but where did you go anyway? to the balcony? xilonen's workshop? ororon's fields? mavuika's chambers? ifa's vet?

it was almost 5:30 by the time his patience finally ran out. you were nowhere to be seen, noone knew your whereabouts, your departure time was unconfirmed, and you didn't even tell him about it. he tried to distract away the thoughts that eerily haunted his mind, 'what if she's in danger? kidnapped? or perhaps, dead?'

he'd get nothing out of overthinking. finally, it all clicked to him where you could perhaps be found.

shit, and was his intuition right. he could hear the sounds of violent sobs drifting off in the sea breeze, some sniffles and pieces of incoherent speech here and there. they were yours.

"y/n? y/n!"

he gently held your shoulders and tried to pry off your palms from your face. is it too late? at last as he finally managed to do so, he saw your tinged red eyes, indicating you've been crying for a lot of time.

"what happened to you? babe? are you okay? please tell me- what happened to you? please, please please-"

"im fine, ichi, its alright"

"you dont look alright at all. what happened to you? who did this to you? this sadness?"

"oh it's just..um..this is embarassing.."

"no tell me, please baby, tell me. if you don't tell me and start crying again, i might just start crying too. please tell me"

"um.. it's...basically, these past few days I've felt like... you're.. avoiding me. like...everytime i try to approach you, you just- you just..shut me down. push me away. it maybe because I'm not living upto your expectations, but these past few days I've been feeling like you spend time with mualani more than me. it hurts so bad when my inner thoughts whisper to me, haunting me by saying stuff like you're giving the same lovesick smile to her as you do to me, and falling for her and- mfhm?!"

oh by gods, the way kinich just tenderly held you yet kissed constrastingly different, almost making you feel dizzy and lightheaded. you knew you weren't in the right state of mind after crying and struggling with your thoughts for so long, and his intoxicating kiss didn't help the matter at all.

at last when he finally pulls his lips away from yours, a tinge of bemused smile rests on his slightly chapped lips. him? in love with mualani? he'd rather give away his body to ajaw and keep himself locked in a small piece of memory inside your heart, so that as long as your heart beats, you both never get seperated. that was the best deal for him.

"look, im sorry I didn't tell you earlier and I'm sorry if I don't live upto your expectations and or are falling for mualani, its completely alright and-"

"Are you insane?"

"huh?"

"You are the words etched into my heart. You are the blood in my veins. You are the god I was born to worship. Who am I to commit such blasphemy?"

"i-ichi-?"

"You are the knowledge I seek. The love I pray for. The reason of my existence. And you still think I'd leave you?"

"wait no ichi i-"

"The symphony of my beating heart belongs to you. Only you. For long as I'm alive, its bound to beat for you. I love you, y/n. I love you so much."

Teardrops began to fall from your eyes again as he finished speaking. He'd never, ever been good with words, reflecting his love and care with his actions instead. Although he's trying to be more and more vocal for you, you'd never expected this from him.

That was the moment you realized, his heart was 'you' shaped, with every single bit of his sanity dedicated to you.

"And no, I.. I'm so sorry if i made you feel as if I'm avoiding you. I'm infact not. It's just the fact that.. I'd been trying to plan a surprise for you for our 4th anniversary, but..looks like I wasn't so slick with it. I'm sorry"

"No, no, it's fine, it's fine. I misunderstood, no need to apologise" you shook your head while holding one of his hands, the other wiping your tears off as he gently places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"It's partially my fault, for making you feel this way. Let's go home, yeah? I'll try to make it up to you. Brownies and making love later?"

You smiled. "I love you so much, it's hard to put into words like you did"

"I love you more. You're forever my girl"

[satellitesunset]

hey i saw ur reblog about itfs fic recs 👀 any cute/fluffy itafushi fics?? or just your favs! specifically one shots/shorter fics bc i never have time for long fics. either canon or au!! itafushi world domination 🐕‍🦺🐅🌍

hi !! yes absolutely here r some of my favorite fluffy itafushi fics divided into two categories au & canonverse

warning: most of these lean into the humor/comedy aspect, hope that's also under the cute label.

Alternate Universe

Pavlov's Dogboy by lococation

i would recommend everything by this author actually, this one in particular tho is a fav bc its incredibly funny and just very sweet yk like its a giggling while reading kinda fic.

Sweet Tooth by Anonymous

if you like romcoms you'll love this. its has a coffee shop, its a meetcute, lots of pining etc.

A Cat in Hell's Chance by KittMitt

this will make u giggle and kick your feet ok. like the cutest thing ever. reading it will have u feeling giddy and excited. vet megumi u r so beloved.

my blessing; my love. by toomanyonions

a treat fr. if u love fake dating this fic is for u. incredible execution. 10/10. dont need to say more

Canonverse

only human by cabins

"“Married to, uh, someone like you, ideally,” " can u believe this 2021 fic predicted the most recent itfs canon love confession. hashtagitafushiworlddomination fr

that's the spirit! by akaashism (acciomerlin) @akaashism

i'm very fond of this one, it's different but my god is it a masterpiece. another author that has many delightful itfs works !! this one is just the first i read from them so ill always have a special spot for it.

heptadecagon by seclusion

the prose of this one. holy shit r they so gorgeous. the words are wording omg i love this style of introspective character study and it so perfectly done here.

you have hands (hold mine) by mustardleaf

disaster pining yuji is so dear to me, and baby is he the disaster in this.

I want to renew you again and again by Shapeshifter99

a world where yuji's pink hair is the product of dye. ok this is a minor plotline but anyways. this is so fucking tender i have a sweet tooth. i go crazy over soft domestic displays of affection and this is 14k of that.

5 Times Fushiguro Tried to Tell Itadori He Was Trans and It Went Over Itadori's Head, Plus 1 Time It Didn't by doctorcakeray

i am so incredibly soft for any trans characters fics and this one is so cute abt it. yuji's very endearing abt it.

Ryoumen Sukuna is Not a Gay Mentor by cursedwritings

i adore any sort of outsider pov fics and this one is genuinely hysterical ok. once again i love down bad!yuji

hope u like them !!

[fluffypotatey]

Leverage 2x04

WE STARTING NO PREGAME

y’all why is it called “The Fairy Godparents Job” what the fuck are they about to do 

OH NO NOT THE CHILD

ok child is fine thank god

sorry paused it and that woman looks sO ready to punch Parker 💀💀💀💀

It’s understandable bc Parker did sound like she was only humoring the nurse but Parker is trying!!!! Look at her! She wants to learn how to act compassionate like Nate!!!

but poor nurse 🥺 forced to close her clinic because some board guy was shady 😔 

Daniel Fowler?

Why does that sound familiar?

Ok listen Nurse Kay, did you not ask them for your help????? Is this not you wanting aid from them? “It’s so hard to trust people.” Okay yeah makes sense since this was all on you but cut them some slack you don’t know them like I do

No Nate, Parker has a point. Why should you trust her? 

Sophie is busy duh 🙄

NO

NO SOPHIE YOU ARE NOT DATING SOME GUY (he is cute tho)

was he a hit? no Sophie don’t tell him that

no that was not her boyfriend imma stay in denial

Awwwwww Hardinson wanting to share his gadgets 

Eliot, I highly doubt Hardinson is a virgin and even if he was, it would not be because he’s a nerd

Awwwww look at Nate and Parker 🥺 when dad tries to give you the 101 on how to sympathize with clients

Sophie episode? 👀

Dam Fowler sounds like a bitch

Ooooooh Sophie back from her date where she got dumped 👀 Nate is looking a little huffy 👀

Parker 💀

Eliot and Hardinson deserve to shit on rich people together

Sophie just eating all the snacks lmao 😂 i am sorry babe but like girlie when would you have told that dude the truth?

Parker being down to blow up the apartment my beloved

ELIOT AND ALEC NEED TO SHIT ON RICH PEOPLE TOGETHER!!!!! That should be their date night 

Oh? Was it the kids who got the old dude caught with the feds? Lmao

Ouch 😬

He’s only 10!!!!! Dude chill :/

STEAL THE SCHOOL???? Y’all and your stealing 🥰

HARDINSON 💀💀💀💀

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

love you ma’am 

NATE NO

NATE YOU FUCKING JOKER

concern parents association 💀

No! Not the public school!

Eliot do not flirt with the target’s daughter (wife? i forgot her relation)

Man those polos look horrid

Ohhhhhhh that explains the child

Tbh I’m with Eliot here. Using a kid is a little murky 

Awwwwww he’s just a little guy 🥺

They’re gonna find out he sucks ass aren’t they

Tho if Widmark later becomes a little shit that would be funny

Eliot this is a bad idea

Smhhhhhh

Sophie don’t do it. Don’t say you picked the best and then choose Widmark. Girlie no

SOPHIE 💀 I love you

Sophie please choose the little girl

She’s awesome. Sophie please 🙏 

Widmark is not a sweet boy is he *squints* he’s suspicious 

PARKER

OH MY GOD MCSWEETEN

THEY ARE BACK

awwww does Mcsweeten have a crush 👀👀👀 

Ok so either someone was trying to kill Fowler or someone was trying to kill the feds?

Gasp! In front of Taggert! Mcsweeten! Shame shame shame 😔

Eliot and Hardinson acting all old married couple 🤭 “I just spent the day with kids i dont need that!” And “listen man, you try chasing down a guy and also memorizing his face!”

Parker back at it again saving the ot3

Awwwwww Eliot wants to join the fbi duo 🥺 “there’s an armed gunman!” You’re worried for them 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Imma laugh if this Widmark kid plays them lmao like imagine 💀

So they’re putting up a musical? A recital?

Awwww Nate’s face. Lovesick fool

6????? Weeks?????

TWO DAYS????????

Okay wait Skylar isn’t that bad 🥺

He’s just a kid y’all

Lmao this episode is just a coming of age parody and Sophie is playing her role so well

Parker found something 👀

Ok but don’t take it out on the kid tho 🥺 his dad’s an asshole not the child (yet)

That father is totally gonna vet them 

YES ELIOT TEACH THEM HOW TO FIGHT

Sophie, love you, but do you actually know the kid? Sorry I’m getting invested in my “the kid turns out to be more important to the heist and will be a future problem bc he fools them all” crack theory 

She makes valid points bc he truly just a kid caught in a really bad crossfire

Yes the window, Hardinson 🙄 it’s Parker she’ll be fine

Omfg they brought coffee

Mcsweeten you sweetie pie

Taggert 💀 you trying to make Hardinson jealous lmao bc you are also jealous and think Mcsweeten would leave you for Parker (……ok he might BUT)

Widmark is totally playing them!!!! 

CACKLING LMAO

“All that personal space.” 💀💀Like yeah Mcsweeten you literally got right behind her lmao

Ok choked on my apple bc laughing but all’s well

Omg aw baby 🥺 is he really that nervous

Awwwww Parker is worried

Sophie don’t tell the kid you’re a con artist

NOPE I DO NOT TRUST THIS KID

I DO NOT

TRUST

Mcsweeten no 😖

Omfg Hardinson I was so stressed for you

Poor Mcsweeten 

Widmark, you are acting so sus

Where are your red eyes? Why does it not look like you’ve been crying?

YALL I DO NOT TRUST THIS CHILD

Sophie stop being so honest to him. You gotta stop having a bleeding heart girlie

Hey y’all? The kid was singing near that very wall. He HAS been singing near that wall

Oh great gunman is here

Awwwwwww

THE CHILD

THE CHILD TOLD HIM

YES HARDINSON

HELL YEAH ELIOT FUCK THEM UP

I FUCKING KNEW IT

wait or did I???????

now I’m confused

awwww the small applause

Awwwwwww he’s a cutie 🥰 idk what to think

Lmao Sophie 💀 “can y’all fight elsewhere???? nO respect for theater!”

Hey :( clap for your son >:(

Awwwwwww

HO SHIT

DUDE????????

ON THE AIR?????????? 💀

Mcsweeten stop it lmao

Happy ending 🥰🥰🥰

General thoughts:

Ok I was way off on the kid dam it truly was a crack theory poor kiddo. Sorry I found you suspicious 😒 and I’m sorry I doubted you Sophie 😔 you were right 

On the bright side, hey! Your step dad who ruined your life is now in jail! And you look a lot happier without that trash bag! 

Parker and Hardinson FBI duo back at it again! And with our bonus real fbi duo! I love them they are so funny. 

But yeah! Really fun episode seeing them play as teachers and fbi

[ordonianhero]

What’s blue and itchy?

(I am sorry if I make wording or spelling mistakes, don’t @ me about it. I am having a shit Day. So let it go, I just need to write out this cute scenario)

I dedicate this to my good friend @thankyourluckystars13



Wind is happily skipping long the beach side with Warrior and Wild trailing behind. He is always excited whenever they land in an environment a lot like his own era. The warm sand feel nice again his bare feet, the salty spray from the wind in the air. The sound of the seagulls crying above and waves crashing onto shore. The warm sun beating down on them and kissing their skin that wasn’t covered. The Champion had his slate out taking picture of basically thing that caught his eyes. Where the Captain was just happily feeling relaxed, but also to keep the youth from running off too far from their party. Who decided to make camp early before venturing on. The portal had dropped them off in this beach not more then a hour ago. In the last place they were fighting massive hordes of monsters, so it was nice to just take a moment and rest. Before moving on. Though the excitable young sailor was about being near the water and on a sand beach, which sand were soft and porcelain white. Almost blinding to be there. The Veteran was not exactly thrilled. He resorted to be sort of snappy, to which the Smithy chose to keep him company. Time and Twilight were more then happy to do some fishing for a meal for the group. Hyrule was building a sand castle using whatever was around their camp. Sky took it as a day to just rest under the shade of a palm tree hanging over the beach.

As they made their way down the beach, Wild spotted something blue colored and ran over, snapping a picture. He then squatted down to inspected it more closely. He sure wasn’t a chu. It had ribbon like tentacles, can’t be a octo. What was this odd, liquidy creature. He slowly reach out to poke it, till he was startled by a voice.

“Don’t touch it! It maybe dangerous.”

The Champion turned his head to see whose voice it was. Spotting Wind and Warrior, running towards him, his finger still outreached towards the strange thing. The two stopping beside him as he turned his attention back to the odd thing. Sailor squats next to Wild as the Captain not wanting to get too close, his hand ready to grab his sword if needed. “We dont know what it is, it could be poisonous.” Came a concerned tone from the Captain. Who all ready didn’t like the look of the thing.

“Tsc.” Snorted Wild. “You and the Vet are one in the same, never want to explore thing.”

“Are not. The Vet has his reasons as I do. If the old man was here, he would be saying the same thing.” Stated the Captain.

Wind, not paying any attention to their little disagreement, proceeded to poke it. It jiggled a lot like jelly. Staring at the clear and deep blue color of it. It felt slimy to the touch.

“For the love of the three golden goddesses, what did I just say?!” Groaned the Captain, rubbing his face. Causing the Champion to giggle and then poked it too.

What am I going to do with these youths?

He sighed and looked down at the strange creature. Watching as the two talk among themselves about it, he took notice it contained no eyes. Over all it looked like a chu, with tentacles, with half its color drained. Normally when one runs across brightly colored creature or monster, it can be consider dangerous. For it could be poisonous. It also looked as though it has not teeth. How does this thing eat? After a while he chose to crouch down beside the two youth, to inspected it better along with them. “So any gander what it is Sailor?” Asked the Captain, interrupting their little discussion. Wind Looked at him and then smiled big, his mouth opened and oh was the Captain going to get an oceanographer of what this gross jelly blob is. Wild being excitedly ready to hear what it is.

“It’s a Velella Velella, or how us sailors out to sea call them ‘by-the-wind sailors.’ They rely on the wind and currents to move around with their sails. There must of been a storm recently and so that’s why it got beached.” Sailer spoke excitedly. Oh and if the Captain though he was done talking. Oh, NOPE! He wasn’t done. “They generally eat plankton, by using their tentacles. They carry toxins only harmful to the prey they catch, so they aren’t poisonous to us. Sure they can sting us, but nothing too bad. It’s best to avoid touching your face or eyes after touching them though. Whoop. Should of thought of that before we poked it.” He giggled as he turned to the Champion.

Captain just Face palmed. He sighed a long sigh and responded, “what happened to you if you do? Just in case you both forget.”

“Well it depends on the person, but for the most part. You become itchy.” Wind stated with a deadpan look.

“Fantastic.” Groaned the Captain. “Well lets avoid touching yourselves and anyone else, till we can get that off your hands.”

Wild and Sailor both looked back at each other and then back at the captain with sly grins. Oh he should of known. They started inching closer, causing the captain to loose his footing, falling back into the sand. The warmth of the sun heating it up could be felt through his tunic. They giggled as he frantically attempted to get away. Kicking up sand, and a chase ensued.

——————-

Hyrule and Legend were busy trying to be very quiet as they were burying Sky in the Sand. Still sleeping. Four had turned to reading. Time and Twilight nearing the end of gathering up fish for a meal later on, when they all turned to the sound (minus sky who is dead to the world) of the Captain screaming for mercy. Followed by the two gremlins, hands reach out in front of them, cackling. Warriors running toward the direction of Traveler,Vet, and Sky. Leaping over Sky, past the other two, past Smithy, then rounding towards the Old man and Rancher. For help? For what? He in mid run and hop was attempting to rip his boots off and chucking it at the two. Missing and then running into the water, scaring off what fish that were near.

“What in din name-“ came the veteran’s questioned tone.

“They have itchy, don’t you freaking think about it you….” Warrior’s terrified voice as he inched closer to the old man. “Oi! Ranch, call off the champion.”

“Nah, you have fun with that. I have no intention to get itchy, whatever it is.” Chuckled the Ranch hand. “He’s your problem now.”

Time chuckled as he saw the shock and face of betrayal, as a gasp came out of the Captain’s mouth.

“I will do you laundry for a week, no three weeks…call him off.”

“nope. Got to make a better offer then doing my laundry princess.”

“Uh…..Uh….I will stop making dog puns for a month. No a year!” Squealed the Captain as the lads Inched closer.

Twilight and Time looked at each other then back at him. Wild and Wind inching ever closer.

“Fine. Cub. Enough. Sailor, you too.” Sighed the Ranch hand, then chuckling.

Champion and Sailor looking deflated. “Fine.” they said in unison, both looking at each other both now plotting revenge now on the Twilight. Time catching on. Waiting. Sensing. The Two turn like they were to leave the water, but then high tailing after The rancher who gave a scream, dropping his pole in the water and bolting. Time was in reach and dropped the pole and grabbing the two youth. “You have had you fun, now go find a way to get whatever you touched off your hands. You can torment later.” He said in a stern tone. He wasn’t one to stop pranks, but some pranks aren’t worth causing discomfort to anyone else. They coward. He let them go as they went off to go get the stuff off their hands. Twilight slowly returning, picking up his rod. Old man doing the Same. The Captain, letting out a sigh.

“Thanks.”

He saw a small smirk on the old man face. His inner gremlin showing. “Good thing you’re quick on your feet. Pup hand me your rod, thing we’re good on fish.”

Warriors not catching on. Rancher did. He handed over his rod to the old man. Then removing his under shirt and also handing it over. The Captain looking ever more confused. Twilight inched more into the water, sidling closer to the Captain. “Mmm, would be a shame of they had caught you. Be itchy all night.”

“Hu?” Came a puzzled response from the captain as he looked at the Rancher whose hands were behind his head and giving a toothy smirk. Then a light went off. Ooooh no. Before he had a chance to get away he is tackled into the water by the rancher. They both popping back up. Sea weed hanging from their head and shoulder, as they blew water out of their face. The rancher then let out a booming laughter. The Captain glaring, which then turned to him smirking and splashing the the Rancher. Who returned a splash back. Both laughing. Which then was followed by Sailor and Wind joining in (after they mange to wash off the itchy toxin).

Ah what a relaxing day it is on the beach. Ending with Wild taking the fish that was caught and making seafood meunère, with some mushroom risotto. Just as the most beautiful sunset painted the sky.

-fin.

(Artist, feel free to do art of this if it inspires you. Also I am sorry if it isn’t perfect. Having a hard time writing and wanted to write something comforting. I have another story I am working on that a Birthday gift for a friend. So I hope this was okay and you like it. Thank you for reading)

[xiuminscheeks]

WOOO new ep yet again :D and im on time too! Last ask i sent was a couple days after the ep aired, cos it took me a while to get round to watching it 😅 anyway ok so:

-How did mr lee get away w that. How did mr jin just accept him pulling a sword on him like WHAT sldjksk. in what world would he not be terrified or at least concerned. Or call for help or something? He just walks off????

Then when he does bring it up its like ahhh he just seemed kinda off yknow? LIKE YEAH he threatened to kill you with a fucking sword in his hand T.T

-GIRL cover your mouth when you cough...

-The snuggling is so soft goddamit, and im a sucker for a sick character being gently taken care of >.< theyre so endlessly sweet ARGH i need someone to cuddle. Where is a guy supposed to find a man like eunwoo in this economy tho. Sigh

-Please..PLEASE cover your mouth when you cough i beg. The whole lot of them theyre just as bad as each other help

-Yul: "ah with your superior instincts youve sensed theyre dating 😌 theyve been trying to keep it a secret, so keep quiet please 😉"

Min ji: "😐"

Yul: *silently, but with a lot of emotion* "..fuck"

-FUCK YEAH MORE HISTORICAL FLASHBACKS!!!!

-Are we finally gonna get the backstory... i bet its gonna be a misunderstanding plot how much do we wanne bet its a miscommunication plot. They've set up mr lee/mountain spirit too kindly to have him be a full villain i feel. Like they show an equal amount of moments that paint him in a positive light to ones that portray him as a villain. So its gotta be something like a miscommunication plot or a 'redeemed at the final moment of death' or some shit, i can feel it.. (and if im wrong. Well fuck me lol)

-Aw even back in time they were fucking adorable. But I have to say the mountain spirit romance plot takes the cake this episode for me, the tsundere storyline always wins 😔 im easy to please,,, now if only they couldve stayed happy on the mountain with the puppy kid T.T altho it feels weird when translated to the modern day cos while she was a married woman in the flashback shes a whole student in present day 💀

-But i am endlessly charmed by the mountain spirit and his pretty brown eyes and his trying so hard not to get attached to the fragile mortals <3 Also i think i reaallllly vibe with the historical aspect so ill pick up a historical drama from your list next (i still havent started another one yet sksjsk)

-My misunderstanding plot theory gains momentum! Mountain spirit looked away for literally the exact second she got stabbed and just assumes it was the dude like. I mean i get it but gAHHhhh!!

-Now now mountain spirit. Step away from the dog. Please dont kill the dOG-.... Ah.. Too late ... (unrelated but why is the vet sleeping at the animal hospital sksjsj? Protestant work ethic strikes again)

-So anyway this episode was made just to make me fall deeper in love with mr mountain spirit 😔 and im really looking forward to confict and confrontations next episode >:] (also thank you for the new recs!!! Ive added them to my list ^.^)

- 🌱

henlo! its always so fun reading your asks!!!!

pls, the coughing with the mouth open had me so mad afsfgsg i cant stand that. at least we got cute ass snuggling tho, so I felt better

the flashbacks had beautiful cinematography and we finally got some answers! the mountain spirit is cute :( he really has such pretty puppy eyes.

I agree that something major happened when he looked away. my theory is that she shaman girl will remember what really happened and let him know, and end that 200 year beef.

also, I'm pretty sure that the uncle wont die. I feel like he wll return to his human form, cause the mountain spirit will break the curse.

2 more days for the new ep!!

[bnerdler]

This week has been a really shitty week. This post is mostly just me venting. I'll be OK, im not looking for pity. I have a support system and coping strategies to sort myself out I just need to vent a little.

I moved on Thursday last week from my 1x1 apartment that was slowly draining me of money into my friends townhome which is going to half my living expenses. And that's great and all but my cat has extreme aggression and anxiety problems. He'd been getting medicated for it but he's got such a high drug tolerance that anything we give him we have to double the dosage for it to have the effect that the normal dose would have for a normal cat.

Needless to say, during the move on Thursday he broke out of the room I'd had him and my other cat in while I got my room set up. In the process of getting him back in the room and into the crate, he bit my hand and scratched up one of my roommates. We got him started on a short term sedation drug while we weighed the options over the weekend. He settled down enough to not be so scared he attacks me but just yowls for hours nonstop due to separation anxiety.

The vet thinks he might have a brain tumor which has caused the aggression. Even scared cats don't normally attack their owners. But I can't afford to get him brain scans to diagnose much less treatment if he does. Not to mention the off cha ce that it's not a tumor or that it is but treatment doesn't help. We've decided to drug the hell out of him. We upped the dosage of the anxiety meds he was already on, added in a secondary anxiety drug, and I'm slowly getting the rest of the stuff the vet suggested such as cbd oil, pheromone sprays, and the like. If it says "calming" on it im getting it. Its... only mildly helping so far but we've only been here a week and today is the last day of the sedation drug and we started the new anti-anxiety meds yesterday. I just really hope this works. I hope this is all worth it and gives me a cat that I love being around. That im not scared of. That I'm scared for.

Like on a scale of 1-10 how anxious are you, my cat is constantly living at a 10. He has no quality of living like that. He can't be around other people bc he will attack them. And he's just anxious and scared out of his mind all the time. So if this new action plan doesnt work... well I'll have to euthanize him. And I really really don't want to have to make that decision.

I got the news about all this on Monday and just sobbed for like 6 hours straight. And I still had to go to work.

It's been a shit week at work too. The boss man was having a gout flair up from stress so he's grumpy and in pain which has made him irritable and altogether unpleasant to be around. He's also been really paranoid bc of the stress. We have security cameras in the school which isn't a bad thing, we need to have them. But the fact that he watches the feed, purposely moved the camera over the front desk to monitor everything I do, calls me and asks me what I'm doing when I'm there alone. Like yesterday the spot where my cat bit me was feeling very sore, so I was icing it and he calls me and asks me what happened to my hand. And like it's not like I'm fucking around at work. I do my work I get my shit done. But it's the assumption that I am and that even when I'm alone, I'm still being watched and have to monitor myself. Like I was raised barely reformed jewish. I wasn't meant for this Christian guilt panopticon bullshit.

faked an emergency to go home early last night bc I just could not stand being around the boss man last night. I did not want to take class with him. I was already emotionally at my wits end and was not in the place to deal with him.

It's also the anniversary of my grandfather's passing. So just the reminder of oh yeah I buried my grandfather on this day 2 years ago sucks.

And then also there's the news about moonbin which is hitting me hard too. Like when jonghyun passed I didn't consider myself a shawol (I still dont). But there was a really long time where I couldn't listen to shinee's music. But with astro and moonbin? I've been an Aroha since day one. The day hide and seek came out, I listened to it nonstop. Their music helped me through some really dark times bc it was just impossible for me to be sad while listening to their music. And as shallow as it feels to say it, moonbin was my bias. He was also incredibly close in age to me. He was born only a week before I was so that just makes it hit different. I know that one day I will be able to listen to Astros music again and feel joy but I don't know how long that will take.

And this weekend is my boyfriend and my roommates birthday but I don't know how I'm supposed to go out clubbing with them when all I want to do is stare at a wall and not think. Like my social and emotional batteries are just drained. I really don't want to have to perform being a person. Just for 24 hours I need to turn off. Like you know when a computer is giving you problems? I feel like that like someone just needs to turn me off and then turn me back on after waiting 30 seconds.

It's just all this heavy things this week, all the grief and stress. Not to mention the kids I work with being absolutely off the rails too. They've been pushing every single button. And I just have no patience for it.

And on the one hand I want to channel all this emotion and grief into my writing, on the other hand I just want to not do anything. I'm like any minor inconvenience will set me off crying.

I'm also just living on the razors edge monetarily. I've got no savings, my credit card is maxed out, I've got bills to pay, and I don't get paid enough to cover it all. At the last apartment I was living paycheck to paycheck with barely enough to cover my most pressing bills: rent, utilities, food, gas. I had to put off buying new underwear for like 6 months bc I couldn't even afford the $10 for a pack of the cheap Walmart shit. I've also got some big bills happening right now. With the move I had to break my least which cost me. Getting into the new place I've got food costs bc I finished almost all of my staples before the move. I've got all this shit for my cat. I'm behind on my student loans. I'm behind on my membership for taekwondo. I'm going on a cruise in like 20 days and I need to have money for that. Afterwards is our tournament and I want to compete which costs money that i dont even know if I'll have. I'm just tired of living frugally not because I want to but because I have to.

I'm just tired.

So that's where I'm at lmao.

[homeofhousechickens]

I was really not going to go into it here because i was accused of shit talking before when i vented about it without naming names but i really think The Ramsey Loft should drastically downsize their flock. Its part of the reason i havent really be interacting that blog alot and rebloging her birds and why i left all the discords. Dani is an incredibly stubborn person and at the end of the day i cant tell her how to run her flock or communities.

I think that people who are well meaning just sometimes end up with to many animals and responsibilities that they can safely handle and care for. This especially goes for people who are disabled and/or neurodivergent.

I think this also especially goes for rescueing and breeding operations. I dont want to point and call someone a hoarder but im sorry to tell you guys but there are things that happen in The Ramsey Loft that dont happen to other companion breeder lofts beceause its likely Danis loft is overstocked and unstable. Did you guys know at one time there was over 60 birds in that loft (which it is not very big space to begin with) with eggs still on the way? It got really bad guys.

These past few years i have been talking to other pigeon keepers both online and locally to me and it really opened my eyes on what Dani does not being as good as i was lead to believe.

No one is perfect, I am forever grateful Dani has been a wonderful gateway for so many people for pigeons but i think this may have caused alot of parasocial interaction where because Dani is the first pigeon knowledgeable person people meet, people kind of overlook everything else. Even i made this mistake.

If Dani finds this she will likely get pretty mad about it but i already said my part to her, i think alot of people are scared to come forward because of Dani's following and Dani's stubbornness. Like me and other people can tell her its not normal for peeps to get scalped and maimed so often, and that suffering 8 loft deaths recently is catastrophic. I am sure she is grieving but i hope that maybe Dani will drastically downsize and maybe stop rescueing for a bit so she can actually have time to grieve and recover from a loss like this. I truely dont even think Dani has had time to grieve some other tragic deaths that have happened because of the number of birds in her care.

Just these past few years i have seen things that were horrible and have seen other people who doing bad things also have their behavior enabled and as some who raises animals myself i just really cant stand for and i had to step away.

When my chronic pain and fatigue worsened especially after Scoots death i made the choice to rehome Baby bird and Nebby and step away from keeping large fowl since their larger size and larger needs were hard for me to handle on top of Blue and Greenies vet care needs. Because i made that choice i had the time and space to grieve so now i can give birds like Beeper a chance.

Dani has alot of medical issues and i really think even her normal cap of 40 birds is to much especially on top of intaking rescues. Dani runs so many social medias as well and i know as well that it can be a full time job on its own sometimes.

There seems to be this community surrounding Dani that is enabling this behavior and not questioning harder. It does suck and i wish bad things didnt keep happening but the animals cannot keep suffering for it. I really think this is due to parasocial interactions and not genuine concern for both Dani and these birds. Dani has said herself that people shouldnt be afraid to come forward with their concerns but that is difficult when you understand the context of her community especially when recently two POC were chased out of the discord for expressing concerns over racism.

I love Fluffernutter. I love Emilio,Loki, and MJ. They are great birds with various different background and I dont regret them. I think its really telling though that due to tragic accidents both Fluffernutter's mother Rigby and sister Puddin are dead. Some of my other birds children have passed away as well and it really sucks to see, and it just keeps happening.

I hope no one will be angry at me for posting this. Im really not trying to start drama. I really care about these birds. I promise you i have cried in frustration and grief over this.

If i was in the same position i would hope my community i have built here and my own friends would step forward with their grievances. In fact, that has actually happened before. I test bred Scoot to see how his health issues inherented (and i got my answer) but my friend didnt know that information and why i was breeding so they reached out in concern and i am so thankful i have friends and people in my community who feel comfortable enough to reach out to me like that.

I dont know, i just hope Dani and the birds get help. I think her breeding project is commendable but i dont see how she can succeed with her priorities stretched so thin and she has so many birds.

[dreamii-yume]

SPOILERSSS for Twisted Wonderland Chapter 6 : 1-16!!!

*rubs hands* aight it wont take long before genshin has me in its gacha hell grasp again, I just barely escaped this time— NOW ITS TIME TO SEE THE BOIS CHAPTER 6 omg— wtf happened last time lol it’s been too long

So, no voice over because of some problems which is understandable but— meh I don’t feel like reading lol So I’m watching otome ayui translations this time, because im that one dumbass student who skipped kanji class and now i cant read without sounding like im five _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): “what up im yume im way passed 19 and i never fucking learned how to read”

Also watching Hanayura Kanon stream for the rest that’s not yet been translated lol Because he’s very good at voice acting for the characters and he’s funny af lol

- OKAY OKAY— WTF HAPPENED EXPLAIN

- Fun fact : I haven’t watched Hercules yet so I legit don’t know what’s about to come lol

- Aw, that’s cute— We called over Ace and Deuce late at night AND THEY REALLY CAME OVER AAAAA

- I forgot how fckin pure their friendship is _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight, so we actually have a huge-ass scratch from feral Grim lol That’s just fantastic, isn’t it

- FINALLY— We’re talking about Mickey and the stones my monster cat has been eating with Crowley AAAAA

- “Yeah there’s this bitch called mickey and i took his photo—“

- WE’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THIS. AFTER 6 CHAPTERS.

- Bruh this crystal of blot sounds really dangerous why are we discussing this just now

- Speaking of this crystal, Crowley— you were looking for this crystal in chap one and when we asked you about wtf you’re trying to find you just went— “oH itS NothING.”

- I SUPPOSED ITS NOT NOTHING NOW IS IT

- I didnt see you searching for crystals after every chapter mr. crowley where were you 👁👄👁 dont you think it was weird that you didnt see a single one after like— five blotting incidents

- Oh so its rare i see— BRUH R U SURE ABOUT THAT grim literally found one every single chap LMAO

- Okay okay— see, he may be violent but listen— you aint gonna throw out my fucking cat okay

- Wh— THERE WAS A FESTIVAL!? Im dumb so its not just VDC LOL

- Listen LISTEN— GRIM IS FINE. HOLD UP— NO NEED TO THROW HIM OUT JUST LET ME HAVE ANOTHER LOOK AT HIM

- Aww, Ace and Deuce looked pissed about it too AAAAHH THE TRUE DEFINITION OF THE BOIS

- BRUH NO— ALL THE DORM LEADERS TO GO AND CAPTURE GRIM?? HE’LL DIE

- CROWLEY PLS— WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, HONEY

- #Grimportectionsquad

- “It’s bout time for them to come” Who?

- FUCKING— CROWLEY STOP SAYING ITS NOTHING— This is why this school is so fucked, you never tell us anything ahead of time _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight he left, Ace Deuce hurry help me what you guys got

- He may be a monster but see— the worst he did is eat the whole tuna stack SO PLS HES STILL BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- THATS RIGHT DEUCE MY MAN GRIM CAN DO NO BAD I SWEAR

- HE WOULDNT EVER AGAIN I SWEAR

- Ace ヽ(；▽；)ノ The character development— im so proud of you, son

- THIS IS THE BOISSS— LETS GOOOO

- Fuck this is so beautiful— just me and the bois on our way in the middle of the night to find our MISSING CAT I—

- CROWLEY REALLY DID ASSEMBLE THEM DORM LEADERS AAAAAAA AT THIS HOUR TOO WTF

- BRUH WE CAN TALK

- Kalim Kalim Kalim Vil Vil Vil— Pls we’ve been through so much last chapter ＨＥＬＰ

- Leona…A big fat ｍｏｏｄ honestly lmao

- Ey ey riddle pls— dont make this any more difficult—

- Shut up azul stay where u are all you’ve done is nothing but chaos since you arrive so SHHH

- MALLEUS IS NOT HERE AGAIN LILIA PLS— where is he when we need him the most LOL

- Ortho, your bro where?? Also— SURVIVAL STATUS BRUH—

- YES PLS DONT HURT HIM OMG

- oh i forgot idia lives in his tablet LOL OF COURSE

- Omg he’s in the apple trees still looking scary as shi aaaaaaa pls kitty come home u just had too much catnip

- OH GOD 15m HE’S CLOSE

- “Starting operation” ORTHO WHAT TF

- EY EY EY oh good he’s knocked out sighhh

- Aight I know this has been translated but I can’t help but to look at the original japanese and im just— wtf is RTS and TAS idia i dont understand this advanced gamer otaku language

- But Idia and Ortho really do be speedrunning on who can fucking kick my cat the hardest LOL

- THATS RIGHT IDIA You understand me— Fellow cat lovers unite, Grim is very cute, he can’t do no bad

- …so can i have him back pls—

- Can we just appreciate the fact that these bois are willing to take the risk of getting their heads chopped off by Riddle by doing all this for us??

- If this isnt what you call true friendship then i dont know what this is

- Lol ambrose is going to appear in this festival again and crowley’s prideful ass is QUAKING

- WHY are we not allowed to see him crowley im sure we can handle it— We’re the BOIS. CMON

- Imagine if they just summon a fcuking— magic vet or something lol

- It’s the next day lol

- HAH ITS THE VDC LOSERS BY ONE VOTE SQUAD

- I mean the NRC Tribe— ٩( ᐛ )و

- VIL. what you have my queen

- Vil pls dont remind me that my cat isnt here but thank you for saying thank you i do not deserve—

- AWW THE ADEUCE SQUAD LOOKS SO SAD AAAAA

- Vil i miss the bad bitch but absolute oneesan energy but the apology— yeah are we gonna cry again lol

- AAAAAAHH why am i so proud— THAT vil is apologizing

- You dont need to maam what we had in chapter 5 was a fucking journey i regret nothing

- I swear if rook goes like— bitch that aint beautiful imma bonk him I WILL DO IT dont think i forgot what u did last chap

- Man i love me a man who can openly admit his mistakes MMMGH

- Rook i swear—

- Im glad that we’re not toning down ace’s brutal honesty lol

- BRUHHH I DONT LIKE IT WHEN VIL US TAKING ALL THE BLAME i mean what he said was kinda true BUT STILL

- Cheer up Vil, it’s not like it’s a complete failure anyways (；ω；) it was fun at least

- Hearing Jamil encourage Vil like this feels surreal BUT YES BOI U TELL EM

- What is this beautiful character development

- Ooff way to hit where it hurts the most vil my queen lol

- AAGH IT HURTS VIL RECOGNIZING NEIGE’S HARDWORK LIKE THIS— THE PRIDE I CAN FEEL IT ＣＲＡＣＫ

- Bruh we appreciate Neige’s impeccable smile in this household— REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE NEIGE’S GON BE A BAD BOI??? WELP—

- It was me, i was that person and i shall drown in apple juice for it

- Of course, the ultimate Neige simp already knows that lol

- Bruh the background music has no business being this sad　ｓｔｏｐ

- I hate it when vil is right sometimes omg— TRUEEE KALIM especially wouldn’t be able to stand properly on stage after knowing Neige’s own hardships aaaa

- NOO BABY DONT CRY

- Vil redemption arc??? 👀👀 you can help us cure our cat—

- !? Are we gonna get that money promised in that poster?? 👀👀

- WHAA FUCKING WAHAA VIL IS GONNA PAY THAT US??? THE WHOLE 5 MIL EACH??!! VIL CALM DOWN WHAT I SAID WAS A JOKE

- Damn vil is ＳＴＡＣＫＥＤ He really didnt want to owe anyone anything LMAO YES QUEEN

- WHA— KALIM IS ACCEPTING??? OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT THAT KALIM

- Kalim is making my heart go boom boom again baby boi ✨👁💧👄💧👁✨✨

- HE’LL DONATE IT TO THE RAMSHACKLE DORM BABY BOIIII

- …sumimasen kalim for having a very rundown dorm 👁💧👄💧👁 but thank you for being nice about it lol

- OKAY OKAY KALIM YOU DONT HAVE TO LIST ALL THE THINGS WRONG IN MY DORM PLS—

- THIS IS EMBARRASSING PLS KALIM IM SORRY FOR BEING POOR

- But this man be such a sunshine holy shit i cant even be mad about it lol

- AW YEAH RAMSHACKLE DORM IS GONNA GET A MAKEOVER

- EVERYONE BE DONATING THEIR MONEY TO US AAAAA Were they always this NICE

- Aight adeuce pls— y’all dont have to force yourself to donate my guys (´；ω；`) being friends is enough lol i get it my bois

- Find me a man who can make me feel like this the way Vil can

- Man if only Grim is here :’) he’d be soo happy :’)) you can have all the tuna you want buddy :’)))

- GRIM PLS ADEUCE IS WILLING TO TREAT YOU TO LUNCH BABY

- Bro this is so wholesome omg

- Im sorry but still up to this day, my understanding of Epel’s accent is still　ｌａｃｋｉｎｇ lmao

- Aight they be talking about how Rook already knew that they were going to lose from the very beginning

- The FORESHADOWING LOL The difference with how Rook said “What a wonderful performance” rather than “What a beautiful performance” sigh

- Honestly we gotta respect Rook’s resolve here lol man just knows what he wants

- Rook and Vil’s friendship lmao

- 👁👄👁 …!?

- EARTHQUAKE WTF How dare you ruin such moment—

- WHAT IS GOING ON

- EY WTF DONT DESTROY MY DORM WTF ARE YOU GUYS

- WHAT ARE THESE ROBOTS OUTSIDERS KILL THEM WITH FIRE

- They look like something that belongs to the Ignihyde dorm HUH

- Oh bruh— Vil in his Dorm Leader mode is so cool AND YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME BUT wheww~~ Vil YAS QUEEN

- KALIM TOO AAAAAA JAMIL’S 「はっ！」SO COOL

- so SO— the dorm leader’s have a protocol for outsider attacks like this 👁👄👁 OMG THEY’RE SO HOT

- They don’t seem like our bois anymore aaa just pure professionalism at this point—

- GOD I FORGOT HOW COOL THEY ARE OMG

- HEEEYYY OUR DORM IS GETTING DESTROYED WTF ARE THESE GUYS’ PROBLEM

- We were just talking about renovating it too wtf

- AAAAAHHH HOW DARE YOU— VIL R YOU OK

- Bruh i dont know what is going on but dont touch my man’s face

- They’re targetting Vil and Jamil WHY— overblot men!!??? WHERE ARE YOU— GIVE THEM BACK

- I didnt understand what epel said here lmao BUT—!?

- THEY HAVE GRIM TOO FUCK HE’S BACK LET GO OF MY FUCKING CAT

- WHAT IS GOING ON DARLINGS

- BUDDYY >:’0000 Grimmm MY HEART—

- Are they kidnapping the overblot men?? What— the fucking absolute ｂａｌｌｓ on these robots

- God we’re getting absolutely ｆｕｃｋｅｄ in here

- AND THERE’S A CAULDRON IN THE BACKGROUND LOL DEUCE WENT HAM

- BRING ME BACK MY FUCKING CAT— >:’0000

- I thought there’s going to be a festival not a fucking kidnapping event HEY

- Oh 👀 Rook pls help

- AAAHH SERIOUS ROOK IS HOT—

- IS THE OTHER DORM LEADERS CHILLING WHERE ARE THEY KALIM PLS BE SAFE

- OH RIDDLE IS NOT ANSWERING THEY GOT HIM TOO

- Oh ghad they got him during clubs WTF HOW—

- *nervous hornii chuckling* …angry expression silver 👁👄👁 im sorry

- AAAA Dorm leaders actually be acting like dorm leaders is soo cool i cant—

- Bruh the story is all chaos what is this chapter

- Are they gonna get Leona and Azul too what—

- RIDDLE BABY Jesus christ dont overblot like this again lol

- DAMN HE STRONG FOR A SMOL BOI THO

- Whoever made these robots wtf is their deal lol TO BE ABLE TO BEAT A DORM LEADER—

- …Bruh where is our horned friend when u need him

- Silver and Sebek theorizing with dorm leaders but they took Jamil tho?? It’s probably the overblot men they’re after

- Also Malleus is probably good so you two calm down lol Lilia’s probs having tea with him right now

- Okay, Leona how are you going to get captured KING.

- Omg everything is getting destroyed wtf

- AW LEONA SAVED RUGGIE THATS CUTE AND COOL AF

- Bruh leona these are material robots— cant you just turn them into sand lol

- Oh they do have some kind of brand cmon just turn them into sand pls

- WHAT THE FUCK

- LEONA-SAN!? WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP— OJI-TAN!!!

- OLD MAN WHAT—

- *hearing leona whisper his reasons ✋ 👁👄👁 🤚 okay sir im sorry

- Damn Leona acting like a real prince right now— it’s kinda hot 👀👀

- BRUH PLS COME BACK DONT TALK LIKE YOU AINT GONNA

- BRO WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS

- THE BOARD GAME CLUB

- Idia : “bro we just chilling be cool— MY CHESS PIECE“

- “Aight ortho what’s the situation” “ｆｕｃｋｅｄ＂

- So Idia of course knows about this— why does he look like he’s so done lmao me getting the feeling this isnt the first time idia has encountered this situation before lol

- Man i want to see azul in action too but mehh— Idia told him to settle down cries

- LOL WHAT IS THIS KARONE ROBOTS

- Wait— are they taking idia too?? OH IS THIS THE DOING OF IDIA’S FAMILY

- WHERE IS CROWLEY— THE TEACHERS, YOUR IMPORTANT STUDENTS ARE GETTING KIDNAPPED

- AH THEY ALSO KNOW ABOUT THESE STYX BITCHES WHAT— and they’re just letting them GO whaaat

- Sounds to me that this must be idia’s family taking care of the overblotting students?? Like to protect Idia or something?? I DONT—

- “Gather all the dorm leaders” No, sir, they’re already gone besides my sunshine and the horn boi

- Malleus??? 👁👄👁 TSUNOTAROU

- Pls kill the robots they destroyed my place

- AAH UPSIDE DOWN LILIA long time no see lol

- Bruhh the diasomnia students are so lucky to have Malleus as a dorm leader omg

- BRUH LILIA’S RINGTONE IS SO CUTE LMAO

- Kalim sounds so desperate im so sad

- ARE WE— ARE WE GONNA MEET MALLEUS AGAINNN

- Bruh they just goku teleported their way out of the dorm lol

- AAAAHH EVERYONE IS HERE THIS IS SO FUN

- Wait jack is not here lol did they just forget about him wtf

- Oh shit we here too i did not know LMAO

- S-So are we just gonna..continue school like— like these styx bitches didnt just ruin half the school, my dorm, injure my bois, and took my cat or…???

- GASP AAAA STYX IS A BLOT RESEARCH FACILITY WHAAAT

- So that’s why leona and idia be like bro this is not worth it

- O-Oh yeah— they…they didnt know that Vil overblot— PFFT

- Malleus pls information who are you talking about—

- WHO— LILIA MALLEUS OH NO

- Ey, overblot squad are assembled lol this looks so dangerous

- LMAOO Riddle was sleeping on Leona’s lap for three hours THATS SO CUTE

- Where the fck did they take them, ITS CRAMPED AF

- Bro they’re just exposing Vil and Jamil’s overblot that’s supposed to be a SECRET LOL

- Oji-tan can sound so wise and reliable like this if he really tried lol sugar daddy energy

- Wtf these guys never thought that idia was from a big shot family??? They thought it was just coincidence that they had the same family name PFFT

- AZUL AAAA He was right there my guy BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY MAN

- oh. They finally opened— isn’t this the ignihyde dorm what

- WHAT THE FU— IDIA

- Bro— WHAT WAS THAT IT WAS IDIA ALL ALONG???

- WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER

This chapter is a fucking roller coaster like— literal 0 to 100 ＱＵＩＣＣ From having a moment with Vil and the bois to a FUCKING TERRORIST ATTACK LMAO IM HYPED FOR NEXT CHAP—

It’s been so long, I hope they released the next part soon (๑>◡<๑) I forgot how fine these men are lol at least I want to hear their voices again 👁👄👁

[jeremywasriven]

im conflicted on posting the selfshipping shit art i made but i also made a version where its just jeremy. he is so lovely. i might post the other thing in a separate post

i spent like an hour trying to find this one jeremy cosplayer from 2020 and i found it. i spent my time well. absolutely worth it. it is now saved on my phone, i will cherish it forever. 

im taking her to the vet, she doesnt even remember who watashi is. raku chan.... dont you remember who *i am*! neeroooroororrmmfmammam. n-no, no i dont think she does /ref

[alotsgonnachange]

Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

[pink-lightsabre]

okay so like. i am an eternally optimistic clown. sometimes this works out in my favor. sometimes it doesnt. with that in mind. i'm gonna word vomit about some stupid firefighters for a minute.

bobby and athena. bc some straights deserve rights. athena literally walked thru FIRE to save her man. i fucking love it. "you think saving lives is hard? trying taking them." *immediately gets shot by athena* we love Cinema.

give me the "chim studying to be a lt and bobby thinking about retiring and giving the 118 to chim" story line we all deserve.

chimney and maddie! the only other straights that deserve rights. god i feel so fucking bad for maddie. i know she's gonna get through this and i am so proud of her for asking for help from chim.

hen and karen! and nia! and nia's birth mother! i was in real tears!

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT ALBERT!!!!!!! THE FIREFIGHTERS HAN!!!!!!! I'M SO PROUD!!!!!!!!

okay now for the actual word vomit.

i still love taylor. i've loved her from her first appearance in canon many moons ago. i spent all season saying i would be fine with her and buck being endgame if they weren't gonna go for buddie. which i didnt think they really would until last week but whatever that's for later in the word vomit. i just. do not understand. what the point of 1) bringing her back 2) having them be super flirty and then 3) have her turn him down hardcore TWICE if they were just gonna. do that. which brings me back to the eternally optimistic clown part. there's no way they last. buck refusing to chase after her bc of all his character growth is excellent and wonderful and also kinda spells out the end of their relationship. yeah he's not gonna chase after her bc he knows his worth. bc he's got a family and he's got people in his corner. and he doesn't need to base his whole life on his romantic partners like he did in previous seasons. his devotion to his family. to the 118. to eddie and christopher. eclipses any feelings he has for taylor. and i dont think she'll stand for that for very long.

now i wish i could say as much about ana as i did about taylor but! she doesn't have a fucking personality! slightly teary by her boyfriend's bedside and then smiling at his welcome home party! that's the great relationship in eddie's life? i don't fucking think so. eddie is gonna... struggle in 5a. even if it doesn't look like we're gonna get to see him physically struggle in 5a i really dont think they'll let the army vet get shot by a sniper in the middle of the street in broad daylight stateside and have that be that. one of the things that eddie is gonna struggle with in 5a. is going to be his feelings for buck. because yall know how you sign legally binding documents making your totally platonic buddy best friend guy pal the legal guardian of your son, who is the center of your whole entire world, over your flesh and blood family. some of whom LIVE IN LOS ANGELES. and who we got to see again which was so nice. even if it was just for a second.

and just. the beginning of the episode started off with so much fucking promise. buck's absolute fucking panic and desperation. dragging eddie to safety and screaming for him while he crawled under a firetruck. eddie seeing his blood on buck and asking if buck was hurt, which was straight out of a fic. "are you okay buckley?" "......... no" buck being the one in eddie's house to take care of chris. buck being the one to tell chris. buck's bad habit of jumping without looking bc he couldn't stand to be stuck in the same position. couldn't stand to be helpless again.

and just. maybe buck's lil speech about not chasing after people that dont want him. is something he's applying to eddie. and maybe he's with taylor bc he likes her and bc eddie is with ana and he's not gonna go where he's not wanted. and maybe eddie telling him that buck is essentially his next of fucking kin can start to sow some seeds. maybe in the best version of s5 we get eddie being overtly jealous and having to come to terms with that. which leads to the eddie/ana breakup that has to be coming. and maybe buck doesn't start to let himself think about the possibility until eddie's 1) "over shannon" and 2) single.

these two are the only ones who havent had large, sweeping romances in the same way that the rest of the team has. bobby has athena. maddie has chim. hen already had karen, but they had shit they had to work thru together. buck and eddie havent. instead they already had other relationships that have since ended bc they weren't right for each other. i refuse to believe that they give them a love interest that's so hot and cold (taylor and buck) and one that could be easily replaced with a sexy lamp (ana and eddie).

[myjjbaby]

updates w/ ellie: (will this become a thing maybe)

hii loves

please send me some kiara requests because i am simping so hard atm for her. like for real. and i’d just like to write for her but i don’t have a concept yet. but some pieces im working on

googly eyes - jj

i know i shared that sneak peek and said i was gonna post later that night well obviously that didnt happen but maybe today or tomorrow?? bare with me

so good * - jj

nsfw! jj has a praise kink and let me tell you she’s filthy cause more kinky shit develops with it. 18+ readers its coming for you lol get it. but i’m not a vetted smut writer so i need to work on that so its taking longer than id planned

romeo pt 2 - jj

will this ever happen idk? its complicated and my writing and me have a love hate relationship with this story not unloke future jj and jamie. it honestly was gonna be a concept and stay that way but like we shall see as i wait for @lavenderpope to post for coconut breeze but like a;so her new pope stuff wow adding to my rec list :))

unnamed request - jj x2

whats happening with these two i wish i knew tbh but they are requests i got a while ago and its time they come out of the shadows. side thing: anons i swear to god if you send the same request to two authors i might actually hunt you down. i wrote a 2k piece only to find that the anon requested it elsewhere and then it was written before i did. literally hours of writing down the drain just think about that.

for now - rafe

enemies to lovers because lets be honest i always feel fed as a rafe simp after reading a good hate to lovers. also kook!reader which recently i’ve loved writing for eventhough majority of the obx community had already self-casted themselves as pogues but honestly im a kook and thats alright as long as im not a bitchy kook :))

unnamed wip* - rafe

i am way to horny for rafe and i admit i have a strange attraction to slight psychopaths/murderers but like its ok. not. idk where this is going but i’m like 100 words in so i dont really need to know where its going yet

I WANT TO WRITE FOR KIEE AND HONESTLY THROW IN SOME POPE TOO CAUSE LIKE THEY FIRE AND UNPROBLEMATIC OVERALL.

i will write for mr. john b but like he can be problematic so kie and pope take priority sorry not sorry :))

-ellie

[creekfiend]

Ive been thinking a lot about breed specific behavior traits and how they aren't always, or even usually, revealed by phenotype in mixed breeds. I usually see this brought up in the context of how useless breed specific legislation is, bc a dog can "look" like a pit mix or bully breed and not be. But the flip -- and imo even more dangerous -- side of that is that a dog can EASILY not look anything like a pitbull and actually be a pit mix, and have some really really dangerous behavior and temperament traits to go along with that that no one would guess from just looking.

Julia is a pit mix with several other bully breeds thrown in there and she looks absolutely nothing like a pitbull. She has a thick double coat and short legs and pointy ears and snout and most vets put her in their system as "corgi mix" before we had her tested. But she ACTS like a bully mix! A dog that looks like Julia could easily end up in a shelter system in an area with BSL and potential adopters would think that because of the laws and her appearance there was no way the dog they were adopting would have those behavior traits, but they would be wrong. Dangerously wrong, in this case!

I feel like there are 9000x more anecdotes floating around online that are like "my pit mix wouldnt hurt a fly" than anecdotes that are like "yeah my dog has tried to kill other dogs" for several reasons, one being that most people have not necessarily realistic views of their pets' temperaments and like to assume that because they love their pet, it would never do something that really frightens them. Another is that people who have pit mixes who ARE aggressive feel ashamed, like it reflects poorly on their character that they were not somehow able to magically change behavior traits that have been bred into a type of dog for like a hundred years. Like if your dog tries to murder other dogs you must not love it enough! or something.

Its true that sometimes training and socialization are neglected in these situations and this contributes to the problem but the fact is sometimes you have a dog and it just ... has behaviors that were bred into it. And those behaviors are not compatible with a life that does not involve murdering other dogs on purpose. I SAY THIS BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A DOG, NOT BC I AM TRYING TO BE MELODRAMATIC ABOUT SECRET EVIL PITBULLS. i love my dog very much but she absolutely not only has VERY high dog aggression,  but she has that bully/terrier trait of getting "locked in" to attack/kill mode where getting her out of that mode again is insanely difficult, that tenacity and "gameness" that not all DA dogs have that makes DA a trillion times worse.

I call this "dark adhd" (ITS A JOKE BECAUSE I RECOGNIZE THAT KIND OF HYPERFOCUS IN MYSELF, just... not in the context of attempted murder) and I think it is even more relevant to the potential dangerousness of bully breed mixes than DA is bc i have known many dogs with DA but WITHOUT the dark adhd who mostly growl or snap at other dogs, or sometimes initiate fights but are able to cycle fairly quickly BACK OUT OF FIGHT MODE. Dogs who have been bred to have that "gameness" on top of the DA? holy shit. Guys when Julia goes after another of our dogs I can be physically removing them from the area and she will leap into the air to try to drag them back down to kill. I just pick Ella the dachshund mix up out of her range when they get into fights and Julia without fail does desperate dolphin leaps into the air to try to latch on and drag her back down. She just latches on and goes for Kill. A switch gets flipped in her brain and she VISIBLY is just like... in murder mode.

Training and socialization have resulted in a dog that doesnt go into this mode often. Julia lives in a household with a LOT of other dogs and 99% of the time she tolerates them quite well. She only stumbles when she is in really high stress situations (like right after a really long move, say...) and it isnt something that has ever resulted in tragedy because we are careful to manage it (and frankly also because we have been lucky. I feel like being lucky, or unlucky, is an underdiscussed element of this whole thing lol)

But when she DOES go into that mode.. holy shit

Anyway this is long and kind of rambley but. Bully breeds have Dark ADHD and pit mixes dont always look like pit mixes. Is my takeaway

[diamondcamefromhell]

Timeless love

Jaskier x Female Reader series  part 1

[again a reupload because the first time, tags decided to not work, fun times ~] [ reuplaod x2 POOPDIE DOOBTIE tags just dont want to work these days, do they]

Summary: This is an AU, where Y/N is a young woman, trying to make ends meet with her freelancing writing job. She lives in her small Nottingham studio apartment along with her cat Apollo. Things change when one evening as she is waiting for her taxi, she meets what she thinks is Joey Batey, but the man in front of her is convinced he’s Jaskier, a character from her current favorite show. Y/N now has to figure out what to do.

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 1,413

Note:

This is just an intro kind of thing, setting the setting (wow, great wording me) and Y/N first meets Jaskier. I had this idea at work, and I really want to write it, I know it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you find it interesting, you can ask to be added to a tag list! Other parts will be longer, posted every two days. I will continue doing other random imagines as requests are still open, but this will be a multi-part thing going on.

ALL feedback is appreciated. You can leave it anonymously on my ask page.

ENJOY! xxx

I click off Netflix, with a warmth filling my heart. I just finished rewatching The Witcher for a second time already. I get up to clean my room, gently humming Toss a Coin to Your Witcher to myself. I live a small studio apartment, a struggling artist is what I should call myself.

I specialize is writing, and as a freelance worker, I get to do works on anything, from how to grow your peas to why foot fetish is good for your health. A weird bunch of people come to me, influencers preaching nonsense. What I truly enjoy, however, is poetry. Writing art, not whatever people bark at me.

But I have to make a living. I made a promise to the stars I would make it on my own.

I glance back at my laptop. I enjoy my days off, treating myself to fine shows like The Witcher. I go play the song I was humming, and it fills my apartment, as I clean the kitchen counters and do the dishes. I decide that I might go out tonight, I need a break from this small room. I need to breathe.

I have this sense of adventure, wanting to do something - anything. Watching people go on adventures for eight hours straight makes my life seem so boring and bland. Much like Jaskier, I wanted to be heard. I wanted someone I could write about, and the world would be forced to listen. The world couldn’t help but fall in love, too.

Hours pass by, as I begin to get ready, applying gentle makeup on my face. I throw on a flowy skater style dress, that’s pale blue. I smirk remembering Jaskier wore pale blue, and then cuss myself out for getting so enticed in fictional character. I can fall for someone who isn’t real, not again. I’ve been the girl with a helpless crush on many characters.

Won’t happen again. I am content with being single. Plus, I have my cat. I glance around my apartment, looking for Apollo, my ginger boy I named after my favourite Greek God. I see him on a windowsill, staring out into the world. My beautiful boy. Roach to my Geralt.

“Be good tonight, Apollo.” I say, but the cat pays little to no attention to me. “Mommy will head out.”

I let out a sigh when Apollo doesn’t even look at me. Being a cat mom, you get used to it, but I prefer it when he’s in his happy mood. Then, I can’t get him off me. I whistle, making him look at me. His green eyes scan me, as if asking why I dared to disturb him.

“Keep our home safe, okay?” To my surprise, he meows in response, before looking out the window again.

This cat never ceases to amaze me.

I make sure to leave enough food and water for him, before I leave the apartment. The smell in the corridor makes my nose physically hurt, and I wonder if Dave, my neighbour, is passed out drunk somewhere again. I sigh, rushing from my third floor, to get relief of fresh air.

The streets are dim, but not too dark. I clutch my purse tighter, knowing there still are some sketchy people, even if it’s still light outside. I call a taxi, glancing around the empty streets. Until I hear someone grunt behind me. I turn on my feet, reaching for pepper spray in my purse, but get struck by a surprise.

Before me stands a man I just spend hours watching. Or the guy who plays him. Joey Batey. Dressed in full Jaskier attire, though. The red matching set he wore in episode six. He has his lute in his hands. Our eyes meet, and he looks scared out of his mind.

“Joey?” I ask, trying not to attack the actor with fangirling, who looks around, to see if there is someone else behind him. When he realizes it’s just us, he raises his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry?” He asks, looking around some more. Confusion paints his face as he looks at me once more. “Where am I?”

“Nottingham.” I say, but it doesn’t seem to clarify anything for him, as he raises his eyebrows even more.

“What is this Nottingham?” He takes a step back. “Who are you, exactly?”

“My name’s Y/N.” I raise my arms in the air, showing I mean no harm. “Joey, are you okay?”

“Who’s Joey?” His voice shakes. “I’m Jaskier.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Now I’m the one, raising my eyebrows. My phone beeps, informing me the taxi will be here in 5 minutes. Joeys, Jaskiers, eyes drop to the gadget, as he looks mortified.

“What is that?” He scoffs, taking a step back again. “You’re a sorceress. This is an illusion. Bloody witches keep ruining my days.”

“I am not a witch, Jo… Jaskier.” I correct myself but I can tell he’s not convinced. He grips on his lute tighter, eyeing me down.

“Where’s Geralt?” His voice is quiet. I feel dizzy, wondering if someone was smoking something funny up in my apartment building.

“Not here, as far as I know.” I squint, looking around, trying to see if I see Henry, dressed as Geralt just wondering the streets of Nottingham. My phone beeps again. Taxi is three minutes away. I see Jaskier stare at it again, so I slide it in my purse. “We can go to my place, you could rest, see if you feel better tomorrow?”

“I am not going anywhere with you, witch!” He puts on a brave face. I watch him turn left, as his face drops. He has no idea where he is. What exactly did he smoke?

“Jaskier. Please.” I plead, not sure what to do. I can’t pull out my phone and google ‘how to help people who are high off their mind’. That would probably give him a heart attack. “Trust me.”

“How can I trust someone who put me in this mirage?” Shit. I guess I will have to play along.

“I don’t know where I am either. I woke up in here, and I tried to find a way out. Until I just settled.” I say whatever comes to my mind as I see Jaskier slowly relax. How naïve of him, “If you are here too, maybe we both can figure something out. Maybe Geralt and Yennefer can help.”

“You know Yennefer.” His voice grows cold and I realize I messed up. I stare at him, not sure how to get him on my side again. The taxi is probably a minute away, and I cant leave Joey alone, not when he is this much out of his mind. But I cant take him clubbing either.

“I know the Continent. I heard your songs, Jaskier.” I plead, looking around. I don’t hear a car just yet. “Toss a coin to your Witcher, o valley of plenty.”

“You know my songs?” He seems to relax again, and I become anxious to get him off the street.

“Please come with me.” I plead, rushing to him.

Before he can respond, I grab his hand, dragging him inside. I hear him grunt, at what I can only assume, is the smell. My phone begins ringing, alerting that the taxi is here. I don’t stop, dragging him to the third floor. I struggle at the door, as my hands shake. When I eventually get the key in, I practically push him inside, locking the door behind us.

I take my phone out, answering.

“I am so sorry, sir. I changed my mind, my um, cat, started throwing up.” I blabber as Jaskier is fearfully looking around. “I might need to take him to the vet, I can’t go out. Please charge my card for your time to come here and have a nice evening.”

I hang up, my heart beating slower. If any sane person saw us, especially saw Jaskier, they might have called ambulance or police. Imagine the news.

“The hit show’s “The Witcher” star was found high out of his mind in the streets of Nottingham. Joey Batey, reportedly, kept saying he is Jaskier, calling everyone sorceresses.”

Wonderful. I look at him now, not sure how to refer to him. My phone dings again, and I look at it, swearing. But it’s a notification. From Instagram.

Joey Batey just updated his story. I open it, to see it’s a picture of him and Henry, with a caption ‘catching up before season 2’. I lift my head, swallowing hard. Jaskier turns around to face me, and my heart drops.

What is going on?

[PART TWO]

[gojos-eyedrops]

Perhaps The One Thing I Actually Regret

Disclaimer: trigger warnings include: depression, eating disorders and suicide. I guess PTSD as well even though its not explicitly mentioned, it is implied.

Hello, my (nick)name is Fry, I'm 23 and I'm a year away from graduating from Vet School. This information is important, I'm not just offering my presentation card.

So, quarantine *claps* the big amount of time I've had ever since...elementary(?) And ofc I've had plenty of time to do a lot of things I've wanted to do, as well as procrastinating others *avoids looking at the pile of unread books in my room* and pretty much my favorite hobby has been catch up on manga, watch anime I've had in my queue for ages.

This is where Haikyuu comes in.

You see, I used to play volleyball in high school. I did a lot of things growing up (horse riding, basketball, kick boxing) Volleyball was the one sport I did for the longest time and the one I enjoyed the most. At the time, my life what a shit show. School hours where the worst, I hated all of my classes, I was friends with probably the two most toxic people I've ever met, my self esteem was 8 ft underground, I had an eating disorder and at some point, I was suicidal. I am ot lying when I say I can hardly remember 50% of my time in highschool. (Chronic stress, man)

However, one thing I do remember was the time I spent training volleyball. I remember each and every face from the team, I remember which faces were good at what and their positions (I always sucked at names akdjsjf except for Patricia 😭💕 my first girl crush and coming out story, but thats another topic for another day), I even remember this guy I had a crush on who wasn't on the team, but his sister was and she she drived so he'd wait for her during her training before returning home. I remember the coaches and how they all were related (grandfather, father and son!), I remember getting crazy excited when i bought my first volleyball and knee pads. I still remember the entire 40 minute warm up, step by step.

Clearly, these two hour training, three times a week was the best part of my week during highschool. So much I actually had a generous lunch before training despite my eating disorder bugging me. I liked to train and actually hated it when my blood sugar got low and had to take a break from training.

Because of reasons, I couldn't keep going training and playing with that team (which was outside of school) so I decided to join the shoool team. The coach was this crazy strict woman, I never felt so fit in my life, her training was HELL and I loved it. However, in my last year of highschool, they switched coaches, and this new coach was an asshole.

I was a setter, and was the tallest girl in the team and also left handed. However, I was a terrible, awful, spiker. I could not spike decently to save a life. So all those three years I was a setter and/or defense. Until this asshole insisted that I became a spiker because I'm left handed. (If you dont know, left handed spikers are an advantage since all blockers are used to block right handed people, left handed players are always a surprise and is hard to adjust during the first minutes of match)

He'd constantly yell at me for my terrible spiking capacities (which i warned him of) and never allowed me to be a setter. I was a depressed and an angry mofo teenager, I left the team.

And since, I haven't joined a team again.

Now, university. You see, vet school is...not as busy as I'd thought. But I had all this burnout, I cut ties with this toxic people, and was trying to heal myself from all the damage I did to myself on highschool. I was antisocial and liked to be alone with my one friend, who's also a socially awkward mess. I had the opportunity to join the volleyball team and I didnt because I still resented this asshole coach.

And by the time I actually wanted to enjoy my university years, vet school had become busy enough. Not because of the homework (a little bit, yes), but because we were constantly visiting farms all around the state. I barely spend time on campus by this point (leaving little Miss quarantine aside).

So, I started watching Haikyuu, and kid you not, I felt this huge regret of not joining the team when I could. I somehow had burried all those good memories in my head and watching haikyuu made me remember why I loved volleyball so much.

I go out to the garden and empty street to play volleyball by myself, and sometimes with my boyfriend joins. Its very nostalgic and at the same time I feel really full and excited and happy. (And I am totally not crying while writing this ajdjsjf)

I should not have waited this long to watch haikyuu, and I should have joined the vb team when i had the chance. I still have a single term left (in case next term goes as normal) to do it, even if its for a single term, I'm gonna be very satisfied. (because my last term are professional practices, maybe I could if the doctor allows me to go training, the vet I already work at is a mile away from my school)

I rarely feel regret or remorse. I hate those feelings. I've always believed theres no point in regretting the past. Instead of letting those negative feelings make you feel bad, you should use them to sharpen your decision making and seek a way to make things better.

But this? I look back and realize I let an entire year (of enough free time at school) of actually enjoying what I like to do. Playing volleyball. And thinking about how the hourglass is slowly running out of sand makes me feel a little regret. Its time I'm never getting back. I let that oportunity slip like water through my fingers. It makes me wish I could turn back time and actually do something. Or tell Past!Fry to not be a whiny little bitch and go join the team despite liking her solitude and privacy.

I guess the reason why I am liking Haikyuu so much is precisely that emotional connection to volleyball and what it meant playing it. The memory of having to whole hours of me not worrying about my demons. Two hours in which I was completely able to fly freely. And I'm already crying way too much, I'm gonna stop writing now before I flood the room sjdjsnjee

Sorry for the long post, but this is something that has been on my mind a lot. Thank you for bearing my emotional rant.