#i fucking love excel thats what
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doiefy · 2 months ago
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ateez discography stats?? (preview lmfao)
(freak in the spreadsheets that's what)
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work has been chill lately so I've taken to developing an excessively large and detailed spreadsheet that analyzes ateez's discography and line distribution from debut until present... will be posting my full summary soon because as a STEM and spreadsheet nerd I think this is super fun and interesting LOL (if you hate math get off my page (just kidding pls stay))
yes I went through ateez's entire fucking discography to record their total line time for this, shout out to the four line distribution channels I ripped shit from (HEXA6ON, random_k, k_line distribution and others doing the most for this fandom)
my favourite finding so far:
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this is a trend most kpop fans know about but I'm showing graphically here. we see a lot of groups start out with line distributions that rely on one or two vocal powerhouses to carry the rest of the group (debate all you fucking want about this, I'm not getting involved in that shit I'm just saying it as it is); then the distribution becomes more "fair" as time goes on and members all get more experience.
in the graph above, there's a lot of variance in 2018, but all the lines have converged recently, indicating a more equal line distribution. the distribution was most equal in 2023 and we've diverged a little bit since then, but 2024 isn't over yet!
some other nerd shit:
hongjoong starts the most songs out of all the members, with 17 songs in which he sang the first line. he's closely followed by yunho, seonghwa, and then san.
yeosang's share of lines has increased by a net 76% since debut, while jongho's has decreased by a net 77%.
13.7% of ateez's total songs are remixes and 12.3% are a Japanese/Korean/English version of an existing song.
on average, ateez songs run for 3 minutes and 12 seconds
whenever a future song is teased in a previous song, we typically wait 3 months for the full song to be released... with the exception of "Sector 1," which was teased in "Outro: Long Journey" back in January of 2020, and wasn't released in full until almost 3 years later.
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and a peak at the spreadsheet madness behind all this:
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will be posting the rest soon, stay tuned ✌🏻
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bacchuschucklefuck · 6 months ago
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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autism-corner · 8 months ago
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an ode to what could have been o7
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quillkiller · 5 months ago
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humbly asking for yalls favorite lesbian/wlw fanfics… <3
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months ago
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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gibbearish · 3 months ago
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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cerealmonster15 · 5 months ago
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im looking at this bit in alhaithams lore again. the mirror thing that gets me every time. !!!!
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familiar faces with NO family around and opposites. another genius but in an opposite way. his mirror that helps him see and understand things in this world that he otherwise wouldnt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "things that may have otherwise been unfathomable"!!!!!!!!!!! kaveh being in his life. helps him study and understand different people and concepts in ways he would not understand if he didnt have kaveh in his life to study like a bug under a microscope lol!!!!!!!!!!
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radiorutters · 2 months ago
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Thinking next time i film for a youtube video, I'll fight hard to make the camera seem like im just talking to Luci or Cervado or something. (Shoulda been something ove been doing but i hadnt thought about it to the level i just considered it lmao. Im learning) I can't stand being filmed but i want to talk to our audiences. We have a channel to upkeep after all, and it is about systemhood, and what a topic to bring to the media loop, me! Hehe
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frogmascquerade · 5 months ago
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Doctor who spoilers in the tags ! Empire of death
#doctor who spoilers#a little!#acting was 100/10 from everyone involved all around#fucking excellent. millie gibson crushed it in a big big way wowowowow#the dialogue still kinda bothers me lmaoooo god it just feels so ham fisted#just shoving the message of the episode down my throat like! where is the trust in the audience#there are a lot of nice 1 on 1 scenes though that are well written that i really liked#sometimes i wish they didnt like pull a sherlock#cause the doctor and ruby do a lot of figuring stuff out and planning off screen so they can reveal it in the moment#but idk i like to see hints earlier#let the audience have a couple clues into the plan yk#anyways#thats a small thing#i love the set design so much#but how tf did they switch outfits in that tiny ass tardis LOL it was#for once#not that much bigger on the inside#i like the reveal of rubys mother#and it was super interesting characterization for the doctor to want her to leave her be#its so... idk its so him lmfao. like so 13 so 11 in so many ways so i like that#plus maybe a bit of him wanting her to stay and travel with him? a little bit of selfishniss mr time lord 🤨#one thing i will say is that rtd should probably consult actual adopted people a little better before he writes a whole storyline about the#just a PERSONAL GRIPE i have#lmfao ALSO hello ms flood said the most clara oswald coded shit ive ever heard in my life this episode#rtd what are you doinggggg#tell meeeeee#also hang the fuck on. unit can search through dna samples from the future ????????????? am i hearing that correctly#i know they can make a damn time window so maybe pulling info from the future is like baby stuff#but that seems#really really wild
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team-frightfur · 10 months ago
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Drafted this a week ago, saw your message a day ago, want to make this absolutely clear: I am NOT trying to push you into coming back. Take all the time you need. I just do this to all the art I see ok.
One thing I love about your style is the way that, instead of using lines to shade hair or clothing folds, you just let the shading do all the work, it makes the pic feel exceptionally vibrant!
A +++ S tier picture.
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Wishing all of you the best!
and by the way, I have something important to say a few days from now. Please look out for it!
#Just a buncha guys and their spirit partners#god this is cute#I love all their different personalities and expressions#Lil Yugi's big smile is adorable and I'd die for Bakuras surprised yet calm look#atem is going at it with confidence as usual while Yamibaku just looks unimpressed#I guess hes madge that everyone else is having fun because ONLY yamibaku and normal Marik are allowed to be happy#then of course you have yami marik who is having the time of his life and absolutely stealing the show#despite not being main focus#now thats what I call a photobomb#his fucking fangs and stuck out tongue#100% perf#anyway technically speaking this is amazing too#first off the lineart is really good#I love the variation between thick and thin (it not only feels very true to Yugioh it also just looks great)#its present throughout#but especially notable on the bakus because their generally light colour schemes really bring out the strengths of the dark lines#the background is really well done#all the lines are nice and thin + the general dark orange/brown air and dark blue windows make the brighter colours of the characters stand#but not in a way that makes them seem like cut outs#its a very naturalistic way of standing out/blending in#the smatterings of green and yellow on the food and paintings make it interesting too#finally#the shading is excellent#I love the warm reds and purples you use to shade the light skin and also how dark#saturated and alive you made the dark skin#the white pupils really bring out the joy in everyones faces#the mix of soft and hard shading is (as usual) really well done#for example the soft shading on the couch and mariks sleeves really communicate the shininess of the fabric#while the smatterings of hard shading on their hair is absolutely beautiful#its gonna feel weird for me to zero in so muchbut mariks hair especially looks stunning
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its meeeeee cherry anoooonnnn how many times has already dead (by kittensneeze) been submitted? vanny is my babygirl and i needa know if her song has a respectable number of votes :3c
-🍒
Twice!
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joulex · 7 months ago
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Some of my random pjo headcanons
-piper is a graphic liner girly, you cant convince me otherwise. She will try some creative designs and experiment with colors. If you want to have a perfect liquid eyeliner, shes the one to go to. However, she cannot do eyeshadow.
-jason gifted piper a necklace with a bolt and piper gifted jason a bracelet with a heart. They did this while they were dating so that no matter what happenned to them, they will know that what they have was real and not made up. After jasons death piper refuses to take the necklace off and always wears it in his memory.(this is cheessy as fuck but i did it in my drawing and now this is my thought process)
-if an aphrodite kid is charmspeaking, their eyes will turn sighlty pink, or like have a subtle glint in their eyes.
-thalia also does make up, but very very out there, heavy eyeliner, black eyeshadow, the opposite of subtle. She also is the go to person to give you piercings. She did most of the one she has herself
-percy is the type of guy to have a disposable camera and just take photos of everything(annabeth) and make a photo album
-rachel makes jewelery, mostly rings and charm bracelets
-frank has a very active letterboxd account. He loves wes anderson and his four favorite movies are grand hotel budapest, how to train your dragon, knives out and spiderman into the spiderverse.
-in adition to this he goes on and on about movies and the cinematography and hazel loves to hear him rant about it.
-hazel is the best at finding the perfect seats to a concert. Shes the one fighting for her life in the front lines to get the best seats and somehow she always does.
-grover is an excellent cook. Whatever you want, he can make it. Also, he bakes something for everyone of percys birthdays, trying different things each year.
Thats all for now
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mollyrolls · 4 months ago
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if you ever listen to me, let it be this time ‼️‼️‼️ please read rot and give it the love it deserves. truly one of the best pieces of writing on this site
rot: h. iwaizumi
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chapter five -> the move
(masterlist ; written content)
word count: 3.8k
now playing: school shooter by wych elm
warnings: this chapter is heavy with discussions of abuse, violence, other themes already discussed in this story, divided this last chapter in two parts and this is going to be the angst before the happy ending. when i say angst i mean angst. rest assured happy ending is coming tho
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Her well-organized list of problems has been upended. A bright, shiny new problem has outshone all of her other ones, dimming them, displacing them, reducing their need for attention.
Problem #1: Iwaizumi Hajime, neighbor, definite arms-dealer, maybe boyfriend, has been arrested.
It’s hard to get people to listen to you in a police station. Cops sit at their little desks and they look at you like they’re pretending to pay attention to what you’re saying but really, all they can think about is how much better than you they think they are, and how little they care about your problems.
Matsukawa has a hand over her shoulder, not firm but not lose, like he’s ready to pull her back down to her feet if she leans too far over the front counter. She’s trying to appeal to the lady behind the front desk, (as if there’s anything she could actually do), voice raw and shaky, knuckles going white as she grips at the edge of the counter.
“Please,” she begs, her unhidden desperation feeling out of place in the clean station, where the smell of hand sanitizer and pine floor cleaner is heavy in the air. It’s far too bureaucratic for her to be like this; reduced to a pile of tears and snot, begging and pleading and being ignored like a small child throwing a fit. “He didn’t do anything to me. This is fucking insane, lady.”
“Honey,” she says, voice slathered in condescension, like she knows. Like she knows Iwaizumi’s been treating her like shit this whole time and she’s just been too stupid to realize it. Like she knows what’s best for her just because she sits behind the front desk at a police station for eight hours five days a week for semi-not shit pay and a pension. “If you want to help your boyfriend, the best thing you can do is get him a lawyer, okay? Yelling at me isn’t going to help. They can hold him for forty-eight hours, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
God, she wants to reach over this fucking desk and sink her nails into this lady’s face. Dig under her skin and gather evidence so they know it was her that did it. That desk lady’s sickly-sweet tone and fake pity had driven her to madness. A long-buried thirst for violence that makes her feel like a grade-school girl boils in her blood and it’s like Matsukawa can sense it because it’s then that his hand goes tight around her shoulder, and he pulls her back. “Thank you, ma’am,” he says, relaxed politeness sounding natural on him. “We appreciate your help.”
She doesn’t appreciate her help. She doesn’t appreciate shit. She wants to jump over the counter and make that known, but Matsukawa grabs at her arms and tugs, using a bit more force to get her away from that desk. But she makes a point to turn her head and shoot that lady one more rage-filled sneer.
Matsukawa doesn’t let her go until he’s pulled her out the front door, into the sidewalk of a busy city street. But he has no qualms about stopping her there, a dam in the middle of the sidewalk, foot traffic splitting and flowing around them. He grabs her by both of her shoulders. “Okay, you need to calm down. Like right now. Alright?”
Her teeth grind together. “I want to pop her fucking eyes out,” she spits out, like an unrepentant child, unashamed of her outburst.
“Well, that’s not going to do anything to help, so don’t fucking do that,” Matsukawa says, a bit of a bit in his voice and slightly shaking her shoulders. The air surrounding them is suffocating, hot and humid and beads of sweat are popping up on the back of her neck already. “And she’s right. There’s nothing we can do but get him a lawyer.”
She doesn’t look at Matsukawa. She hates him right now, because he’s right, and there’s nothing her blind rage and outburst can do to make it better. She focuses her stare just past him, watching the stream of tourists and college students and burdened employees that drifts down the sidewalk, past both of them. She gnaws on the inside of her cheek. “Whatever.”
He releases her then, and her gaze falls to her shoes as Matsukawa steps back from her. A hand reaches up to push stray strands of hair away from his forehead. “Oikawa’s calling his guy. He should be down here soon. We’ve gone through this before, we know what to do. Iwa’s not an idiot, he can handle himself in there.”
The combination of rage and embarrassment tastes sour in the back of her throat. “He didn’t do it,” she asserts, for no one else other than herself.
“Course he didn’t fucking do it,” Matsukawa scoffs. “Iwa has lines. Hitting his girl is way past them.”
Her mouth furls. It’s getting hotter and hotter every second there on that sidewalk. Every emotion feels too big for her body; it paralyzes her. She hates this. She fucking hates this. Iwaizumi being locked in some holding cell with the drunken disorderly conduct leftovers from the night before. Him being in there because of her.
Matsukawa sees her standing there, stiff and clenched up, and sighs. “Look,” he starts off, more sympathetic than before, and the pity makes her twitch, “why don’t you just come back to mine and Makki’s place for now? You don’t have to go-“
And then, the call of her name. Loud enough to get the attention of everyone on that sidewalk. Commanding enough that people look, just to make sure, just to double check that it’s not their name, that they didn’t make a mistake, somehow. She looks over Matsukawa’s shoulder and sees her father. Out in the open, on the sidewalk.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he says as he approaches, broad smile sending a new rush of rage down her spine. Matsukawa raises an eyebrow at her, but she doesn’t dare to tear her eyes away from her father, looking clean in his freshly pressed uniform. Like this is some kind of special occasion for him. “I was worried help wouldn’t get to you in time.”
She blinks. There’s no room for fear in her body. “Help?” she echoes back, voice hoarse.
He moves to reach for her. She steps back, Matsukawa places himself in front of her. “When I saw how that boyfriend of yours was treatin’ you, I had to call in a favor. I got a friend that works in this district, y’know. I got lots of friends, Bug.”
Really, she shouldn’t be surprised. She feels stupid for not thinking of it earlier.
But she didn’t think of it. She wasn’t expecting it. She was completely caught off guard by her god-awful, piece of shit father.
So she can’t be blamed for her reaction.
She reaches into her pocket and fishes out her keys. A few for the sports store. Three for her apartment building (one for the front door, one for her place, and one for Iwa’s), and one to her old home she shared with her brother. She places them each between her fingers, and without very much hesitation, she punches the end of those keys into her father’s face, with as much force is left inside of her.
Pretty immediately, there’s a reaction from the stream of people. Screams, she thinks. Matsukawa’s quick to act, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her away from her now-bleeding father. But everything around her is white noise. She's numb to it. She looks at her father and she hopes the gashes will scar. “You piece of shit!” she screams at him. “I’ll fucking kill you! You fucker! You’re fucking dead!”
★⋆. ࿐࿔
Her list is fucked now. She doesn’t know where rage issues fall in the new order. But probably higher than before, she would have to guess, because she’s sitting in an interrogation room.
Kageyama Tobio sits across from her, sleeves pushed up to his elbows and arms crossed over his chest. He’s leaned back in his seat, and she has this feeling she’s about to be scolded. “Assaulting a police officer is pretty serious.”
She feels dirty, humid air making her skin sweaty and salty, her hair fizzy and tangled. A bit of blood splattered on the skin of her forearm. They wouldn’t let her wash it off. “He’s not a police officer to me,” she says, words coming stubbornly out of the corner of her mouth. “He’s just my piece of shit father.”
Kageyama leans forward, bare forearms pressed against the cool metal of the table between them. “Can I ask you something?” He does not wait for the answer. “Is Iwaizumi worth all of this? Look at where you are, do you think this is worth it?”
“Can I ask you something instead?” She waits for confirmation from him. He gives her a slight nod. “Did you like PCD?”
He sighs, fingers tapping against the table. She wants to break them. “We can drop the charges on you, y’know. If you have something more valuable to give us, we’d be happy to do something for you in return.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Valuable?”
Kageyama leans back again. He adjusts a lot, she’s noticed. Moving and shifting and repositioning. She has stayed still in her seat. “Listen, I’ve known Iwaizumi for a while. All of them. I know what they’re like. I know how they can make you feel. You get caught up in it. Good people like you and me find themselves in shit situations without realizing it. But let me tell you this,” he says, severe, and a finger pointed in her direction, “Iwaizumi’s not going to give this up for anything. And you’re not an exception. As much as you think he cares about you, he cares about his job more.”
She can see her mother so clearly, then. For the first time in years. She can see her features, the details of her face. The ones she has in common with her brother. The ones she has in common with her. She can see the anger twisted into her brow like a permanent fixture. She can hear her voice, as if it’s in her ear now.
“Men like your father, they only care about one thing. And it’s not you and it’s not me.”
She lifts her head to meet Kageyama’s stare. His eyes are so sharp and so blue. “Kageyama?”
He leans forward. “Yeah?”
“Suck my dick.”
The sigh of defeat is, at the very least, satisfying. His shoulders slump and she watches the last bit of hope he was holding onto fade out of him. And at least she has that. “Well, in that case, you’re free to go. Your father’s not pressing charges.”
She stands at once, not immediately being hit the with realization that he had tried to trick her into snitching. “Fucking finally,” she spits out, her limbs feeling stiff and disjointed.
She’s halfway out the door when Kageyama says, “Yeah, well, see you later, I’m sure.”
★⋆. ࿐࿔
Iwaizumi is released before the forty-eight hours is up. She does not find out until four days after.
Most of those four days are spent numbly sitting through her shifts, face weathered and her limbs hanging from her body like heavy, led weights. She lies in her bed. She hardly eats. She checks her phone every five to ten minutes and she calls Oikawa and Matsukawa and Makki and gets their voicemails and she hears nothing.
And then, as she’s hanging out the window, smoking her second cigarette in a row, she sees him. Walking down the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets and his chin up. She watches, in disbelief for a moment, waiting to see if he’s going to turn into their apartment building and run straight up the stairs and into her arms and kiss her and apologize and swear that he would exact vengeance on her father. For the both of them.
But Iwaizumi just walks. He goes straight until he is out of her view.
With shaking hands, she texts him:
so when were u planning on telling me u got out?
He does not respond.
★⋆. ࿐࿔
It’s a month before he speaks to her again.
A month after no texts and no calls and no early morning coffee visits and nothing but the creaks of his floorboards from above. It’s torture. It scratches at her throat and it puts nails in her bloodstream and she spends more than one evening laid out on her bathroom floor, sobs wrecking through her frame, clawing at nothing, trying to grab onto something.
The feeling of abandonment is not entirely unfamiliar. It tastes the same as anger, and it never comes without it. And the combination can make her irrational.
“-and my friend Tanaka has a truck,” Kiyoko says into her, her voice fuzzy from the poor connection. She has her phone pressed between her ear and her shoulder, haphazardly throwing whatever belongings she can find into the cardboard box she stole from work. “He offered to help move your stuff out if you want.”
“Yeah,” she mumbles, drifting through her apartment, stopping as she settles in front of her CD player, sitting in the middle of her kitchen table. The one Iwaizumi gifted her. She makes no move to grab it. She’s sure that Kiyoko has one already. “Maybe he could come by tomorrow. I could be done packing by then. That cool?”
“Yeah, that should work. I’ll ask when he’s free.”
She hums in response, and kicks at one of the legs of her coffee table. A lot of her sidewalk trash furniture is going to right back to where it came from. “Are you sure this is okay with you?”
“Of course!” is Kiyoko’s enthusiastic confirmation. “It’s been a little lonely since my last roommate moved out. And to be honest it’ll be nice to split the rent again.”
God, rent splitting. It sounds like a dream to her. Expenses divided in half-she almost drools at the thought of it. She chuckles. “Alright, fair enough. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then. Should probably finish packing now.”
“Alright. See you then.”
She snaps her phone shuts and pockets it.
Even as she empties it of her belongings, the apartment is a mess. Littered with forgotten belongings and things she never had the motivation to get rid of. Things she doesn’t know what to do with. Things that she doesn’t need and can’t justify keeping but she can’t bring herself to trash. The Ponkadu mug. Her pink, fuzzy journals filled with love struck passages. A dried, dead dandelion Iwaizumi ripped from the ground and placed in her hand.
Her head throbs. She looks up at the ceiling above her, like she’s waiting for something. A creak or a slam or something. A sign that he’s still there. That he’s not as far away from her as he feels. But it’s silent, and there’s nothing. And it’s like he was never even there in the first place.
She swallows the lump in throat and returns her attention to the scattered objects in front of her. She forces herself to harden and drops the Ponkadu mug in the trash. Then the journal. Then the dandelion. And she thinks to herself, bitterly, like she’s in an argument with herself, that it’s not like he was never even here in the first place. The evidence of his existence is all over her. It lingers in her lungs, in her chest, it spreads through her bloodstream. Iwaizumi’s there, causing every ache and every sting and every throb. He’s there.
Something possesses her. Everything can go in the trash, suddenly, it doesn’t matter what it is. Plates and freezer-burnt ice cream and a half-empty first aid kit. Anything with the lingering presence of Iwaizumi is getting dumped. Trashed. Left rot and fester in some landfill. And after an hour passes, her apartment is covered with bursting, heavy black trash bags of her wasted belongings.
She sits on the floor, shoulders slumped, legs crossed. She already threw out her couch. Her mattress is sitting on the floor of Kiyoko’s apartment, in the bedroom that will be hers by tomorrow. So for now, all she has is the rotted hardwood floor, where Iwaizumi told her he’d marry her.
Her throat tightens. She cannot get out of here fast enough.
Sweat droplets form on the back of her neck as she stands, ready to start hauling bag after bag out to the presumably already overflowing dumpster behind her apartment building. Her knees knock together as she stands, and she moves towards her door, ready to prop it open with one of the trash bags.
She undoes her deadbolt. Then her chain lock. Then she opens the door, and Iwaizumi is there, hand raised to knock.
At the sight of him, her throat tightens up, and she is immediately, torn split between her rage and her desperation. As much as she wants him to hold her, to make her promises and give her the comfort she’s been craving so desperately for the past month, she wants to bite his head off just as much. To make him hurt the way he hurt her. To tear him up from the inside.
Instead, she stares, blankly, somewhat horrified. Her heart beats heavy in her throat and her ears get fuzzy. He looks the same. That makes her angry. She wishes there was some change, some difference. But the Iwaizumi that said that he loved her in her kitchen and that he’d marry her on her floor is the same one that left her to rot on her own.
He steps into her apartment, right past her, like he still has the right to, and looks at the state of it. Everything packed up. Everything scattered. He looks at her like he still has the right to. “What’s going on?”
She flinches, and her anger is starting to win. “I’m moving.”
Iwaizumi pulls that face. That same one. Always looking like he’s slightly dissatisfied with something. “Why?”
Why. It’s such a stupid question. She tries to take a breath to calm herself but it makes her shudder and lock up. “I’m sure if you think about it, you can figure it out.”
She watches the air enter and exit his lungs through the rising and falling of his shoulders. He looks at her, right through her. “Don’t leave.”
In an odd way, she likes the control. She likes the feeling that, for once in her life, she’s not the one begging. “Don’t tell me what to do. Not after you left me.”
He exhales sharply. Iwaizumi takes a step towards her, and she takes a step back. “C’mon, that’s not fair. I didn’t leave you. I just needed to put some distance between us for the time being. Your dad, he’s fucked, alright? It was a liability to-“
“A liability?” she cuts him off, hands clenched into fists by her side. The heat in her blood rises. “I’m a liability?”
Iwaizumi shakes his head and reaches towards her. She jerks away from him. “No, not that you’re a liability, it was just a risk to be around you while-“
“So, what, you couldn’t get one of your little errand boys to tell me about it?” she says, and it comes out like a bark. “You had to leave me in the dark for a month while you dicked off doing god knows what? Too risky to send a text? After I lied to the cops for you and risked getting arrested for you and became a fucking on-call nurse for you, you couldn’t send me a fucking text?”
Her breath is ragged. Iwaizumi stares down at her like he’s seeing for the first time. “I thought you wouldn’t care. I thought you don’t care about anything.”
And it’s too much for her. It’s too big for her body. It’s too much for her to carry and she can’t hold onto it anymore. “I care about everything! I care about everything so fucking much it makes me sick!” she erupts, tears in her voice and rolling down her face. Her skin feels hot. The air feels hot. “Is that what you liked about me so much? You thought I was some kind of apathic ragdoll you could toss around and do whatever you want with?”
“I thought you would understand!” he eventually bites back at her, his own voice rising. “I thought you knew what kind of life I live and what that meant! God, you fucking act like nothing bothers you and you pretend to not see the world around you and you just expect me to read your mind?”
“What fucking person would be okay with being abandoned for a month?” she screams. “You knocked on my door and asked me for a favor and you hovered around me and you said you loved me and said you’d marry me and then you just fucking disappeared! That’s so fucked, Iwa. That’s so fucking cruel.”
He steps towards her, and before she can say anything his arms are around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. Like one simple embrace will end it all. Like he can just take her in his arms and suddenly she’ll stay, suddenly it’ll fix everything. She wants it to. She wants it to so badly. But she places her palms on her chest and pushes him away. She stumbles back and looks at him with wet eyes. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“I do love you,” he tells her, voice lower now. “I meant what I said and I still do. You’re my girl. You’re everything to me.”
She shakes her head, trembling. She can’t let it be true. “No, I’m not,” she asserts, backing up into her kitchen table. Her hands go around the edge of it. “I don’t mean anything to you. You wouldn’t have left me if I did.”
“I had a reason-“
“I don’t fucking care what your reason was! I don’t fucking care, Iwa! I don’t care about your stupid job or your stupid fucking guns or whatever! I care that you were here, and then you weren’t! You left me like my mom did and you left me like my brother did and then you come back here and you have the fucking audacity to not even be sorry about it. I fucking hate you!”
She knows that she doesn’t mean it, when she says it. Iwaizumi probably knows too. He probably knows she doesn’t mean it when she swipes the CD player he got her off the kitchen table and it goes flying. Soaring across the room until it slams into the opposite wall, breaking and crumpling against the pressure. Bits of it snap off.
Iwaizumi looks at it, and then he looks at her. She’s shaking. She wants to get on her knees and do everything she can to fix it the second it breaks. But it’s on the floor, broken and shattered. Iwaizumi nods, and then he leaves. He turns around and walks out the door and slams it shut behind him.
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an: huge huge huge huge thank u to wyr and ness and honee and molly and dodger who all had to suffer thru me trying to get this chapter out u guys are the best
taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @bedeater @deluluforcarlos55 @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @pinkiscool @michivrse @cannibalsrider @kmwife @k8nicole @oikasenpai @fennecnco @riousluvs @bellamsby @rinheartshyunlix @bae-ashlynn @ephemeralninon @fangsbb @plumarbre @v-e-r-t21 @snail-squasher @seroh @mfcherry @canthavetoomuchchaos @ange1icarch1ve @applepi25 @wqnsho @19calicos @girlkissersco @Lisoozi @bailey-reeds @kitskasoboring @iluvaquaphor @lllaw @kinsies-blog @1lovestrawberrymilk
#ive been a writer for as long as i can remember. i pride myself on knowing what words to say and how to string them together. all that shit#i have never felt more at a loss for words than i am right now /pos#ive sat here for easily 5 minutes and nothing ive written in these tags has come close to conveying how i really feel in this moment#there arent enough words in the english language and the words i do have arent good enough#this is truly a masterpiece#and i dont throw that around lightly#i feel like i could pick any line from any paragraph and analyze it and tell you how excellent it is#there is not a word out of place not a sentence poorly written#this is going to sit with me for a really long time and im glad for it#please give yourself some accolades and some praise because holy shit eggy this is beautiful#i feel everything so deeply and so gutterally#its so intimate and it takes incredible skill to do that so well which you clearly fucking have#'i thought you dont care' 'i care about everything' this absolutely destroyed me#their arguement was so painful and heart wrenching but so fucking real#breaking the cd player man did you really have to include that#i just cannot cannot get over how well you convey the tone and the emotions in this#like within the first sentence im right there feeling everything im supposed to be feeling#and again thats fucking talent not many people can do that#the love that you have for this fic is so clear in all the words that you use and the attention and care that goes into it#ugh and then her sudden snap into rage and starts throwing everything out that so painful but completely justified#like i want to stop her i want to shake her but i also know thats what she needs?#i cant even start with the fight with her dad and then seeing her mom in kageyama like holy fuck#dude and the line where 'its been 48 hours since he got out she finds out in 4 days' that destroyed me the first time i read it and the 2nd#ugh and the juxtaposition between how much she cares and how aloof iwa is just makes the fight that much more painful and emotional#my heart is with rot and rot is in my heart#30 tag limit approaching but i will be returning once ive processed and can tell you how i feel about everything but eggy this is just so#beautiful please be proud of this and the work you put into it#sorry this was hella dramatic but it’s the only way i could get close to conveying how i was feeling#molly rocks with this#mollys book reviews
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beescake · 11 months ago
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i am in love with your sollux i think
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sollux love party :]
if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him.. big warning for the mega long read ahead aye
as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall
as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.
his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.
while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.
his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.
the Bit in question:
his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.
considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.
but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.
but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.
compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.
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the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍‍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)
conceptually-speaking,
at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise
thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.
but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures
meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.
those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:
zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)
or
far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.
which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.
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dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3
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unsuredreamer · 3 months ago
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is it possible for a Bridget x Reader where Red found out not only her mother's different personality in the past but also a has a childhood friend that both Bridget and reader has feelings towards one another is too shy about it but in the original timeline Reader was never mentioned because reader died in an accident that people assumed that it was Bridget fault because she is a monster and red also plans to prevent reader's death
Your Heart
Bridget Hearts 🩷 x reader
Kinda changed a bit but I still hope you like it!!!
Still open for more requests my loves ♡
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"Bridget. You're better than this. I know that what happened was hard for you, but that was ages ago" Ella pleaded desperately trying to stop her ex best friend from taking over Auradon.
"Hard? It was excruciating, I relive it every day since" the queen coldly exclaimed.
"We all do. She was like a dream, but she is gone now. We have to move on Bridget"
"Don't you dare speak of her in my presence! You did not care back then." The Queen yelled out. "Now kneel" she gestured with her hand.
"I will never kneel to a tyrant"
"She's denied a royal order. What do we do about that, darling?" The Red Queen turned to her daughter smiling ear to ear. But don't let it get you. It's not the nice kind.
"Look, all you have to do is swear allegiance. Is that so hard?" Red butt in to Cinderella, she knew it was about to go down.
"If it means compromising everything I stand for, yes."
"Who are you loyal to Red? These strangers or your mother? Now make me proud for once" Bridget took a hold of Red's face, grinning like she was about to win. She was of course.
"Come on Bridget, even your daughter knows it's wrong, she can't do it" This sentence made something snap in Red, like a force pulling her towards the bad, a little devil sitting on her shoulder. But she felt vulnerable. Did she really want that? Her heart thumped in her chest."Treason! She's guilty of treason, and that means off with her head!" Wrong, it felt so wrong, to the point she felt dizzy, the whole world spinning.
"Exactly right, my dear! Off with her head!" The royal guards began walking the other queen, her daughter desperately trying to pry the others away. Red coming straight at her, her spinning head did not help in trying to take out the pocket watch and steadying her posture.
But she did, and what happened next was not what she expected..
~•~
"Now great! We traveled 20 years back in time! Fucking excellent Red" Chloe yelled, angered as her mother was just sentenced to death by the very girl standing beside her
"Calm down, little goody princess pop star. I meant to sent us back just a few minutes so i could take my mothers cards, but it took us here. I certainly did not mean to take you with me" Red remarked, thinking hard about why she ended up in this exact moment.
"Well, we're here now, so might as well undo whatever made your mom so evil" Chloe paced back and forth, clutching her sword tightly in her hand, something she did often while being stressed beyond heavens.
"And how exactly are you planning to prevent murder, Chloe?" The princess of Wonderland asked sarcastically. Because truly, how were they supposed to do it? They didn't know who did it, how, when, and where. It was all a mystery to them. It's like this death was completely erased from existence. No one mentioned it. After all, why would you reminisce such a sad and sudden death that became a start to many years of misery and tyranny of one of the cruelest rulers known of."We could at least, i don't know...try? My mom said it happened after a talk about flamingos?" What? Was she joking, really?
"Let's just look for our mothers for now."
And thats what they did, what brought them to this exact moment.
"Hey my love, how are these cupcakes you talked about?" A strange girl sat down on one of the benches in the school halls looking at Bridget, Red's mom, with such loving eyes just begging for an ounce of touch from the pink one. She must have heard her pleads as she sat down on her lap, throwing her arm around the others neck.
"They are great! I saved you one or two...plates" Bridget grinned. She could never do too little for the girl she was so desperately in love with. Although they claimed to be just bestest of best friends, too shy to admit they literally wore each other's hearts on their chests. "These flamingo feathers you went so out of way to get for me really turned out excellent as a topping." She smiled widely once again. Something you could never grow tired of. Her enchanting eyes and magical pink hair drawing you in.
"Who is that?" Red whispered to Ella, Chloe's mother.
"Y/n Cupid, Bridget's childhood best friend"
"Aree you sureee they are just that?" Chloe questioned as she smiled sheepishly. "It surely looks like more than that to me,"What a sight, seeing the cruel Queen of Hearts (who is now such a sweet and kind soul) be so lovey dovey with another person. That alone made Red's head spiral. Her mother was not mad evil? She was good-hearted? And she had a lover? That is something she would never grasp after all those years of fake smiles and cold orders.
"Mhm, they are. Although I strongly suggest them every day to make a closer move. They won't budge like stuck-up little kids."
"Well lovely, I will try not to eat them all in one sitting." You continued, taking Bridget's hand in yours, softly swiping your finger across her palm. Her breath hitched. It was something you'd done quite often, but even the slightest touch from you made her head dizzy and the goosebumps on her skin to pop instantly.
"Y-You, I" She stuttered out, nothing more coming in to her clouded mind, you giggled at her cutness, what resulted in you being hit by her in the head "Be careful, try not to turn into a flamingo, they are awsome but only one at a time sweetie" She kissed your cheek quickly, she was feeling bold, usually she'd just boop your nose or something. A kiss was a big declaration from her. She loved physical touch, she loved hugs, grazing or intertwining hands. But a kiss was something she preserved only for her one and only.
You were her one and only.
"Okay, it was nice meeting you, Red and Chloe, I'll be going now. I have a shit load of homework from Professor Merlin. Bye Ella, see you later B!" You sent them a kiss and dissappeared in the halls.
"Bridget!" The lovesick girl jumped upon her name being yelled out "She is so totally in love with you!" Chloe squealed, not being able to keep her excitement in, taking the princesses hands and jumping around."No, no. We are just friends. She would never look at me that way" Bridget sadly sighed, playing with her heart necklace she got from her 'friend'
It was a truly beautiful gift, just a necklace with a heart, but if you were to look at it from the other side. The necklace was made from silver, crafted by Hephaestus himself, the red heart was a gemstone made differently, it was a part of the glass heart of cupid.
Your heart.
You gave her your heart!?
How could she be so stupid not to recognize what a grand gesture of love it was?
You basically devoted your whole life to her, vowing to love her forever and always.
You gave her your heart...
"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Frustrated Ella butt in. "They act like a couple, but when you point it out, both of them are sooooo dumb to realize how the other is fe-" She could not finish because Red and Chloe were long gone. So was Bridget, even quicker.
As Bridget realized what an oblivious idiot she had been, she took a run after you, clutching the necklace in her hand. After a minute, she found you in the gardens.
The sight of your unconscious body made Bridget shiver, freeze, almost as if she had stepped foot on the Boomerang Nebula. She fell, her weak knees hitting the blood-stained ground. The once beautiful, white pebbles, turning maroon as the red liquid pooled out of the corpse.
A terrifying, horror like scream was all that could be heard...
No one would imagine a dead body with a spear shot right through the heart in the broad daylight while waking out on the school grounds. Hazed eyes, once full of life, staring longingly into the distance. And the strong grip of the hand, oh so soft, still remaining on the spear. The white button-up shirt peppered in small hearts growing more and more burgundy with each passing second.
She could not believe it. You were gone.
The love of her life
She could not stop the anger mixed with hurt and unimaginable sadness growing in her heart as she watched her lovers lifeless body. She threw a fit with the intention of hurting everyone in the mere distance. Luckily, no one was there to be hurt. Throwing her cards up in the air, shooting fires, and demolishing basically everything she could see.
Bridget broke down crying. There was nothing she could do to bring her life back, her life back.
As Chloe successfully shielded her princess from the fires and chaos thrown by her mother, Bridget fell on her knees once again. They stared at the scene before them.
They cursed themselves that they weren't able to stop the killing. They had failed.
Red felt absolutely terrible seeing her mother so heartbroken. She saw only the worst part of her. She never even thought there once was this sweet, kind, thoughtful, and such a loving princess within her. She wondered of all these good times she could have, with her other 'mom' too. As she was wishing she could've come sooner to stop this nonsense, however would she have done it, Chloe ran to her mom's younger version. Dropping on her knees just a couple inches away, wrapping the pink girl in her embrace. So strong, so comforting.
Bridget laid her head on her chest, sobbing uncontrollably, gripping Chloe's blue shirt so tightly she was most likely to rip it apart any second. That is truly what she needed, a warm presence holding her so she wouldn't go mad.
"Cry Bridget, I'm here for you," and that's what she did. She cried till she was out of energy to do so. She just stared in the distance, thinking of nothing. There was nothing left for her. She took ahold of her lovers hand, vowing to herself she'd never fall in love again.
And she'll keep your heart, just how you have kept hers.
Not all stories have a happily ever after, even if we try to change it
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k-howlett · 3 months ago
Text
Breaking and Entering | Bruce Wayne(Batman) Xgn!reader pt II
TW: Character Death (Jason Todd), Grief, and eventual age-gap relationship (Bruce is mid-late 40s, reader is 17, soon to be 18)
Rating: Gender Nonspecific, General Audience, SFW
A/N:
Thank you so much for all the love on pt I, I’m so happy to get back into the swing of things.
as always,
with love and healing,
-Lark(ly)
⊹₊⟡⋆ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⊹₊⟡⋆
“I thought you weren’t going to show,” Y/N said as their footsteps crunched softly against the fall leaves. Still in their school uniform, they carried a backpack lazily slung over one shoulder. Jason Todd’s jacket hung loosely around them, its weight a small comfort against Gotham’s persistent gloom.
Bruce’s blue eyes flicked up from where he stood, his gaze sweeping over them. His tall, broad frame dwarfed theirs as he finally spoke. “I told you I’d come.”
“You said you’d consider it. Thats usually code for ‘go fuck yourself’ but in a polite way” they quipped, a playful edge in their voice as they leaned closer to him.
Bruce rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance, and gently nudged them away. “In my case, it means ‘I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep and stretch myself too thin,’” he countered, his tone firm but with a subtle warmth.
Y/N’s eyes drifted to the lilac-colored box in Bruce’s hands, wrapped carefully with a white bow on top. “What’s with the box?” they asked, curiosity piqued.
Bruce handed it to them with a slight nod. “You were right. Titus completely demolished your shoes.”
“Seriously?” They raised an eyebrow, half-amused.
“Mmhm. And Alfred’s rose bush,” Bruce added, rubbing his temples as if the memory itself was a headache.
“Oh… no, that one was definitely me,” Y/N admitted, a bit sheepish.
Bruce looked at them incredulously. “You flattened Alfred’s roses?”
“I, uh, fell off the fence,” they mumbled.
“You climbed my fence?” Bruce’s tone shifted slightly, the disbelief clear in his voice.
“How else do you think I got in? I certainly didn’t just waltz through the front gate,” they said with a small grin, carefully peeling back the paper to reveal a New Balance box. “You got me... dad shoes?”
Bruce’s expression remained neutral, but there was a slight arch to his brow. “Dad shoes?”
“Yeah, you know, the stereotypical dad shoes. The kind you’d wear golfing.”
“I don’t golf in sneakers,” Bruce replied, his tone matter-of-fact.
“People do,” they quipped, opening the box to get a better look at the shoes.
“These have excellent arch support,” Bruce pointed out, his voice firm but with an undertone of practicality.
Y/N glanced up at him, a hint of disbelief in their eyes. “Titus ate my Converse, and instead of just replacing them with another pair, you got me... these?”
“They’re durable and better for your knees,” Bruce said, his gaze steady, as if daring them to argue with his logic.
They paused, holding one of the shoes, with a smile. “So, you care about my knee health?”
Bruce met their gaze, his expression unreadable, but his tone was calm. “You’ll thank me when you’re older.”
“I’ll thank you now,” they say with a smile, holding up the shoes. “I think these are pretty neat, even if they’re a little… dated.”
“Dated?” Bruce scoffs, his tone slightly indignant. “They’re the top brand on the S&P.”*
“They’re kinda retro, Wayne.”
“Retro?” Bruce repeats, narrowing his eyes. “How old do you think I am?”
“...When’s your birthday?”
“I’m not disclosing that,” Bruce replies, his tone firm.
“Why not?” they press, amused by his sudden defensiveness.
“Because I don’t do birthdays. And I have a feeling you’d try to surprise me at the office, and I’d rather avoid the attention.”
“You flatter yourself,” they tease, sitting down to try on the shoes.
“You mentioned your birthday is coming up,” Bruce says, slipping the comment in with calculated nonchalance.
“My birthday? You want to know mine but won’t share yours?” they challenge, eyebrows raised.
“Just making conversation,” he replies smoothly, a slight smirk tugging at his lips.
“Uh-huh. Well, can we pick a different topic?” they shift their tone, tugging at the laces. “I haven’t celebrated in four years, and I’m not about to start now.”
Bruce pauses, his smirk fading as he meets their gaze. “Fair enough,” he says, the respect in his voice mingling with a hint of understanding. “But if you change your mind, I’m here.”
“You want to celebrate my 18th birthday with me?” they ask, glancing up at him as they tie the right shoe.
“Turning 18 is a milestone,” Bruce states with quiet authority. “Jason never got that chance.”
They shoot him a sharp look. “You’re really going to bring up my best friend—right in front of his grave—to guilt me into celebrating?” There hand gestures at the imposing concrete headstone, as its eye -to-eye with them.
Bruce’s gaze remains steady, unfazed. “It’s not guilt, Y/N. It’s perspective. Life is fragile, and not everyone gets to see their milestones.”
“Mine are limited, and so are yours,” they fire back, a hint of defiance in their tone.
“That’s exactly why they matter,” Bruce responds, his voice calm but firm, emphasizing each word as if it were a lesson.
“Oh yeah? Then why are you so evasive about your birthday, hm?” Y/N asked, their curiosity piqued.
Bruce’s expression remained inscrutable, though a flicker of annoyance flashed in his eyes. “It’s not evasiveness,” he said firmly. “I just don’t see the point in making a fuss over my birthday.”
“That’s a double standard,” Y/N countered, a hint of exasperation in their voice. “For someone so keen on celebrating life, you’re reluctant to acknowledge your own significance.”
“It’s different, Y/N,” Bruce replied, his tone carrying a hint of finality.
“It’s not different,” they shot back, shaking their head. “It’s a matter of acknowledging what’s important. If I’m going to celebrate my milestones, then you should too.”
Bruce sighed, his frustration evident. “Tell you what,” he said reluctantly, “we’ll celebrate yours when it comes around.”
“And?” Y/N prompted, expecting a bit more.
“That’s it,” Bruce said firmly, as if he’d made a decision that should settle the matter.
“That’s not it,” Y/N laughed, a playful glint in their eye. “If I celebrate mine, you’re going to have to celebrate yours.”
“You’re a pain—almost worse than my kids,” Bruce muttered, though there was a trace of affection in his voice.
“They like to celebrate?” Y/N asked, intrigued.
“Dick does,” Bruce admitted. “But no, I meant your stubbornness.”
“Thank you!” Y/N grinned, clearly pleased.
“That’s not a compliment,” Bruce hummed, though a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, betraying the partial admiration he felt for their persistence.
Y/N finished tying the other shoe and looked down with a playful frown. “I look like I have clown feet,” they complained.
Bruce regarded them with a mix of amusement and practicality. “It’s not about the appearance; it’s about the support,” he said, offering his hand.
Taking his hand, Y/N let him pull them up. Standing a bit taller now with the shoes, they grinned up at him. “So, you got these so I’d be in line with your neck vein?” they teased.
Bruce’s lips twitched slightly, betraying a hint of amusement. “Haha, Very funny, Y/N. I got these because you were headed towards flatfoot. Converse aren’t exactly known for their support.”
“Converse are not terrible shoes,” Y/N countered, still playfully defensive.
“Says who?” Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow.
“2014 Tumblr,” Y/N replied with a smirk.
Bruce looked puzzled. “I don’t even know what that is, nor do I want to,” he said with a hint of dismissive amusement. “You know you might actually appreciate the comfort once you’ve broken them in.”
“I do appreciate them. I just like giving you a hard time,” Y/N hummed with a playful smile.
Bruce huffed dryly, a trace of amusement flickering in his eyes. “Oh, I’m sure you do, kid.”
Y/N bent down to collect the New Balance box and the wrapping paper, carefully shoving it into the large pocket of their bag. As they straightened up, a thought crossed their mind. “You took off work for this?” they asked, a hint of surprise in their voice.
Bruce crossed his arms, his expression neutral but his tone a little more serious. “I can make time when it matters.”
Y/N’s expression softens, and they gently grab Bruce’s hand as they both gaze down at the name etched in stone. “It means a lot,” they say quietly, their voice barely above a whisper.
Bruce’s grip tightens slightly, his thumb brushing over the back of their hand. “I know,” he replies, his tone even, though the weight behind his words is unmistakable.
They stand together in silence, the world around them muted by the gravity of their grief. Y/N’s voice trembles as they speak again, “He was my friend.”
“He is,” Bruce responds without hesitation, his eyes still fixed on the grave, the words carrying a quiet, unwavering conviction.
Y/N’s voice falters, thick with emotion. “He was your son.”
Bruce’s expression doesn’t waver, but there’s a slight softening in his eyes. “He always will be,” he says, his voice steady, as if stating an unchangeable fact.
Tears well up in Y/N’s eyes, and they blink rapidly, trying to hold them back. “I miss him,” they admit, their voice breaking.
Bruce pulls them into his side, wrapping an arm around their shoulders with a strength that’s both protective and comforting. “I know,” he says, his voice low, the words carrying the weight of shared sorrow. “I miss him too.”
Y/N leans into him, their tears starting to fall as the grief they’ve been holding back overwhelms them. “It never goes away,” they sob, their words muffled against his chest.
Bruce tightens his hold on them, his hand moving in slow, soothing circles against their back. “No, it doesn’t,” he agrees, his voice calm and measured, though there’s a depth of feeling beneath it that only someone who knows him well would recognize. “But we learn to live with it.”
They stand there for a long moment, Bruce’s presence solid and unwavering, offering them the quiet strength they need. In the silence, there’s a sense of understanding—an unspoken bond.
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Damian Wayne prided himself on his situational awareness and keen observation. Lately, his father had been behaving differently—disappearing for hours on Fridays, far more secretive than usual. Damian couldn’t ignore the shift and was determined to get to the bottom of it.
“Why are we following Bruce around again?” Tim asked, trailing beside Damian and Dick.
“Yeah, I thought you called me for backup over an emergency, Damian,” Dick added, crossing his arms as he followed his younger brothers.
“It *is* an emergency!” Damian hissed, his tone sharp. “Father’s acting weird. And I intend to get to the bottom of it.”
“Weird how? Bruce has always been suspicious and dodgy,” Tim pointed out, raising an eyebrow at Damian.
“It’s different this time!” Damian insisted, his frustration evident.
“Okay, little man, no need to get testy.” Dick ruffled Damian’s hair, a habitual gesture that never failed to annoy him.
“Don’t do that, Grayson,” Damian snapped, swatting Dick’s hand away. There was a significant age gap between them, and Damian always felt the need to assert himself as more than just the youngest.
“Shut up, shut up! They’re right there!” Damian whispered urgently, ducking behind a nearby tombstone.
“Oh hey—Is that Y/N?” Tim asked, squinting at the figures standing in the cemetery. One was unmistakably their father, and the other, a teenager who was familiar to him.
“When you said emergency, I wasn’t expecting lukewarm gossip, Damian,” Dick hummed, leaning casually against the fence, though his eyes betrayed a more serious curiosity.
“Who the hell is Y/N, and why is Father hanging out with them?” Damian growled, narrowing his eyes at the sight.
“I just told you, Y/N Y/L/N, they attend GA with us, they’re two grades above me,” Tim explained, though he knew it wouldn’t satisfy Damian’s questions.
“That doesn’t answer the ‘why,’ Drake,” Damian snapped, his frustration bubbling over.
“Oh wait, whoa whoa—Y/N Y/L/N? Jay’s friend?” Dick’s expression shifted as realization dawned on him.
“Well, that would explain the atmosphere,” Tim said quietly, gesturing to the graveyard.
Damian frowned. He had never met Jason Todd, and the family tragedy surrounding him was something he still struggled to fully grasp. “So?”
“So, the anniversary of his death is coming up,” Dick said, his tone more somber. “They’re probably in mourning.”
Damian’s expression faltered, his usual bravado dimming slightly. The weight of what Dick said hung heavily in the air.
Tim stood silently for a moment, then, without a word, started walking through the fence to join Bruce and Y/N. Dick, catching Tim’s intent, followed, but paused when Damian grabbed his wrist.
“Grayson, where are you going? Where’s he going?” Damian demanded, his voice tinged with confusion.
“We’re already here, Damian. Might as well pay our respects too,” Dick said gently, looking down at his youngest brother.
“He was our brother,” Dick added softly, the words carrying a gravity that Damian couldn’t ignore. “You’re welcome to stay out here if it makes you uncomfortable. But the family is in there.”
Damian hesitated, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features. “Alfred’s not,” he said indignantly, trying to regain some control of the situation.
“But he would be if he were here,” Dick replied, his voice gentle but firm. “We all mourn in our own way, Damian. You don’t have to go in if you’re not ready.”
Damian’s gaze flicked between Dick and the figures at the gravesite, his usual resolve shaken. After a moment, he released Dick’s wrist, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly.
“Fine,” Damian muttered, his voice quieter now. “But don’t expect me to get all emotional.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dick said with a small smile, giving Damian a reassuring pat on the back before following Tim through the fence.
Damian lingered for a moment longer, his eyes narrowing as he watched his brothers join Bruce and Y/N. Then, with a deep breath, he steeled himself and followed, his steps slower, more deliberate. The weight of the moment pressed down on him, but for the first time, he didn’t feel the need to fight it.
After all, as much as he hated to admit it, maybe he was starting to understand what it meant to be part of this family.
Tim stepped up beside Y/N, his presence calm and reassuring. He gave them a soft nod of acknowledgment, his eyes flickering with understanding as he noticed the tears and the way they leaned against his father. Tim didn’t need words to convey his support; his silent companionship was enough.
Dick moved to stand beside Bruce, resting a hand on the older man’s shoulder. A shared look of understanding passed between them, one that spoke volumes without a single word. This moment was heavy, but they had each other, and that made all the difference.
Finally, Damian squeezed between Dick and Bruce, his small frame nestling close to his father’s side. His sharp eyes narrowed slightly at Y/N’s closeness, a flicker of something protective crossing his face. He discreetly clung to Bruce’s sleeve, a silent claim of territory that only someone as observant as Damian would make.
Y/N’s gaze shifted to the Wayne siblings, their eyes widening a fraction in surprise to see all of them here. The sight of the entire brood gathered around Jason’s grave added a weight to the moment that they hadn’t expected.
Pennyworth’s steps were light as he approached, his presence as impeccable as ever. Despite his age, Alfred carried himself with a dignity and grace that belied his years. He stood behind the five, a steady pillar of support. “I don’t suppose any of you brought an offering?” he teased lightly, his tone gentle yet playful.
Bruce’s normally stoic eyes softened, a rare warmth bubbling up from his chest as he glanced at Alfred. “Figured that’s your department,” he responded, a hint of affection in his voice.
“White lilies, daffodils, and forget-me-nots,” Alfred announced, setting the beautifully bound bouquet in front of the grave with care. His selection was thoughtful, each flower chosen with intention and meaning.
“It’s quite beautiful… A shame they’ll wither,” Y/N said softly, their voice tinged with melancholy.
“All things wither with time, dear. That doesn’t make them any less meaningful,” Alfred replied with gentle wisdom, his tone reassuring.
Y/N shot Bruce a look, a mix of surprise and familiarity in their eyes. “Someone gave me an eerily similar speech,” they remarked, their lips quirking into a small, knowing smile.
“I did. My wisdom comes from somewhere,” Bruce acknowledged, his voice carrying the weight of years of experience.
Alfred gave a wink and a nod, his expression warm to Y/N before his attention shifts to Dick. “I didn’t expect you to be here, Master Richard,” he said, his tone affectionate.
“Ah, I left Blüdhaven in good hands for the night,” Dick replied with a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Wouldn’t miss a reunion for the world.”
Bruce’s gaze swept over his family, the people who had become his anchors in this world of shadows and loss. In moments like this, he was reminded of what he fought for—what they all fought for. The past could never be undone, but standing here together, they honored it, even as they looked toward the future.
And for a moment, in the quiet of the cemetery, with the scent of flowers lingering in the air and the presence of loved ones all around, the Wayne family found a fleeting sense of peace.
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*(Please note New Balance is not actually on the S&P because its not publicly traded, I just thought it was a comical interaction)
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Approx. Word Count: 2,917
pt I - pt II - pt III (coming soon)
//Series Tag List: Available Upon Request!
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