#rootin tootin guy......

[autism-corner]

an ode to what could have been o7

[bluetea-00]

HE WANTS TO BE A COWBOY BAAAAABY

[genderlesssnake]

Went back and finished this sketch. No one can stop me from making be more chill posters

[shellminded]

Cutest bandito in the West.  Watched the trailer for Star Wars: Outlaw and immediately fell in love with this baby. I’ve had Nix for only two minutes... Been really inspired by the @wildwestzine and this lil guy was just perfect for it!

[silikat]

Atop the Fourth Wall and @animatedtext - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

[boystolemyname]

I’m teaching myself animation! It’s one of the most complicated things I’ve ever attempted, but I made this little dude and I love him with all my heart. He’s my rootin tootin little son.

[superhaught]

When you’ve been Balduring the Gate

When you’re Balduring at the Gate 3

When you’re just Balduring that damn Gate again

When Baldur Gate

Have you Baldured your Gate recently?

When was the last time you done Baldured your Gate?

She Balduring on my Gate til I 3

[hedgehology]

HOLD ON, COWBOY! 🤠 🐸💖

[thebirdthedog]

real cowboys wouldn't even like you

[slyandthefamilybook]

Warren Kepler truly the character of all time. He's completely humorless. He's the funniest guy in the cast. He's gay. He's homophobic. He's Warren G. Hardass. He knows exactly what to say to motivate people. His favorite whiskey costs $3000. He's a rootin' tootin' Texas cowboy. He's from Chicago. He's the scariest man alive. He's middle management. He's an amateur philosopher. He lies about everything. He's so tough he makes tears cry. He's an avid fan of knock-knock jokes

[save-slot-a]

"Don't be mistaken, the only things I've ever stolen are hearts," He winks with an audible twinkling sound. What a dork! "If you don't mind gratuitous banter, odd oozes, and diving in front of civilians to protect them, then I'll be more than happy to let you tag along. Just make sure you don't get in my way, 'kay?"

From anyone else, that statement would've sounded arrogant, but it was a genuine ask of Butch, should he decide to join Crowley on a patrol or two. He's the professional and has a certain way he likes to do things, and having to worry about meat shielding someone else in a fight will add just another element of unpredictability to a fight...

Even Crowley's palm, slightly lighter than the rest of his skin, is etched with scars. Evidence of stabs and mishaps in the workshop, broken bones and drilled holes... If a scar was equivalent to a story, he's a library of war stories. He didn't mind Butch fidgeting with his hand though, just kept his bright gold eyes focused on his face, observing the slight changes in his expression while he examines his battle damage.

A snort escapes his beaky nose when Butch so bluntly says his hand is all kinds of jacked up, "Can't argue there! But it still works well enough, so I won't have to replace it just yet- Hey now. I know I'm good with my hands, but I don't know how much the texture actually adds to it. Might need to do some experimentation and record the results~"

Put those wiggly eyebrows AWAY, xir!

Crowley barks out a laugh, clearly not taking it as an insult. He knows what insults feel like glancing off his skin the same as blades and bullets, "You tend to gain a lot of experience and wicked stories to tell in braille on your body when you're always on the move sniffing out trouble!"

He gives Butch a flattered, very effeminate shoulder bounce with a coy smile, "Why thank you, it's the blood, sweat and motor oil that made me sun crispy~ And also being blessed with mi madre's melanin."

"Real talk though, I don't think of all of this," He gestures to himself, "As life experience. It's just part of the gig, yanno? You go in, you stop the bad guy while the bad guy tries to stomp you into the dirt. Or you get kidnapped and interrogated because you have government secrets, but you're no snitch certified... That's why my fingers are crooked! See?"

He puts his scarred hand up to Butch's face, closing his fingers as lightly as he can... Yet the pinkie sticks out just a little bit. Broken too many times to count and healed funny it seems. Eeugh! Crowley seems pretty chipper about it though and that's disturbing!

[bambifornia]

huuUOOoLRgGghh fiinnne I can't stay away from you all

i bring more autobot!swindle. plus my attempt at writing his backstory

disclaimer : most of the stuff below isn't canon i just wrote this for fun. if u guys wanna make ur own swindle backstories i invite yall to do so :D we will make our own swindle content

swindle came online during cybertron's early years of the age of expansion. the autobots (with their goal to expand cybertron's empire) engineered a set of bots who would serve cybertron as its intergalactic merchants, programmed to be ambitious bots who sought profit. they also came with bigger processors (for storing transactions and whatnot) and versatile frames (so they could withstand organic climates)

shortly after coming online, swindle was assigned a teacher (another merchant) who'd pass down the knowledge of the trade. swindle did his best to keep up with his lessons

as a student, swindle was determined and clever. as a bot, though...eughh...

- he had less of a filter, and didn't know how to keep a poker face

- his little new England accent used to be a lot thicker (think earthspark swindle)

- very friendly, had a lot of amicas back in the day (he was definitely the "I know a bot" guy). it was a struggle for him to keep quiet

- loved hands on activities, hated sitting still

- kept a journal detailing his intergalactic trips. tried to doodle any organics he found interesting

- LOVED shiny stuff. he was like a crow lmao

- his sharp glossa would sometimes get his aft beat

- despite being a chatterbox, he wasn't as suave back then. he'd often get himself in awkward situations, which he'd try to talk himself out of the embarrassment but he'd end up digging a deeper hole for himself

- petty king. also kinda nosy and had a thing for gossip

- loved pranking, and teased the bots he liked

once he was ready, swindle was given a ship and assigned a trading post (as a starting point). from that point, swindle was a rootin tootin merchant and nothing bad ever happened to him again :D...

...

until the quintessa skirmishes

the age of expansion ended with border disputes between cybertron and quintessa. multiple skirmishes sproutted along the border, and while swindle didn't fight in them, he was certainly caught in the crossfire. swindle ended up with a broken ship, a looted inventory, and a bungled up frame. he had to return to cybertron for repairs

back on cybertron, swindle finds a planet wildly different from the one he knows. tensions between autobots and decepticons are rising, and the banks aren't holding up that great. swindle finds himself in a tight spot (financially speaking) since he still has to deal with his losses from quintessa. unable to go back to his actual merchant job, swindle resorts to taking odd jobs to keep himself afloat (yes, even stealing)

when the war breaks out, swindle gets drafted into the front lines (a decision that still baffles him to this day). since he's not much of a fighter, the autobots have swindle work as a spy, ordering him to smuggle weapons out of decepticon servos...

in future hindsight, that was a poor decision

---

wrapping it up here because i don't want this post to get too long LMAO but I still have more ideas for him if yall are interested. just know that this is not the end of swindle lore

ALSO I finally came up with autobot!swindle designations :D I've narrowed it down to 3 and I need help deciding. it's either between

quickdime - cuz. you know. he's always looking to make a quick buck

treasury - his subspace acts like a treasury if you kinda think about it

fortune - idk it sounds cute. besides fortune tends to "favor the bold and clever"

if u made it this far then congrats. thank u for listening to me yap. have a bonus doodle

[bitterkarella]

Robert E Howard: howdy pardnas, it's me Robert "2 Gun Bob" Howard Lovecraft: 2 gun bob! King: 2 Gun Bob! Koontz: it's 2 Gun bob! Poe: 2 gun bob! Barker: how many guns was that? i forgot Poe: it's 2 guns, clive Poe: you know it's 2 guns Poe: don't be an instigator

Howard: Gather round, hombres! i got a rootin' tootin' tale of two-fisted thrills! Howard: it'll really put the yippee in your yippee ki yay! Howard: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this Howard: the tale of what if there was a vampire Howard: IN TEXAS!

King: omg are you saying that this vampire Howard: that's right, pardna Howard: this vampire is about to MESS WITH TEXAS!

Howard: lookee here, some ornery varmint didn't like my Texas vampire story! Howard: so i'm calling you out, GP Olson Howard: of Sheldon, Iowa! Howard: y'all ever cross my path and there'll be a new grave up on boot hill!

Lovecraft: [sweats] GP Olson of Sheldon, Iowa?! Howard: that's the varmint Lovecraft: not GP Olson of Sheldon, Iowa! Lovecraft: the very name gives me the vapors! Lovecraft: oh god oh god i think i'm going to faint King: why? what's with this guy? Lovecraft: he's SO annoying

King: who's this you're talking about? Lovecraft: he's just this really annoying fanboy who won't leave me alone Lovecraft: but what would you expect from a degenerate swede? Lovecraft: they're barely even white!

August Derleth: oh boy GP Olson of Sheldon, Iowa? isn't he the worst, howard? Derleth: he's so annoying the way he never leaves you alone! Derleth: and keeps trying to insinuate that you're pals Lovecraft: Derleth: not like us, we're pals, right, howard? Lovecraft: [sweats]

Lovecraft: ugh now this GP Olson's written me ANOTHER letter about how vampires work! Lovecraft: he's always sending me letters trying to explain how vampires work! Lovecraft: i'm not some rube who just fell off the turnip truck! Lovecraft: i know how vampires work!

Barker: how do vampires work howard Lovecraft: i-i Lovecraft: i don't have time for this! Lovecraft: google is free! Bram Stoker: i can explain how vampires work Lovecraft: don't you start now too!

Lovecraft: listen to this nonsense! Lovecraft: "and another thing, stop bad-mouthing vampires in your stories! Vampires are SAINTS." Lovecraft: he's accusing me of being prejudiced against vampires?!? Lovecraft: Lovecraft: it's true that they run the banks, tho

Lovecraft: i am not prejudiced against vampires! Lovecraft: i dated one! Lovecraft: right Sonia? Sonia Greene: this is why we broke up

Howard: stand back pardna, i'll put a stop to this! Howard: [shooting letter with his 6 shooter] Barker: yeah this is about as effective as when mary stabs a Polidori letter Mary Shelley: that's very fuckin effective, actually Barker: how so? Shelley: makes me feel good

Poe: let me see that letter, howard Poe: [reading letter] "every day actually contains 4 simultaneously occurring days" Poe: wait a second i recognize this handwriting Poe: clive, did you write this? Barker: haha did you see how mad howard got

Poe: that's really not cool, clive Poe: as a writer, you should be more sympathetic Poe: have you never gotten really annoying fan letters? Barker: it's still funny Mary Shelley: it's real fuckin funny

[genderlesssnake]

Haven’t drawn my favorite little guy in a while

[veni-vidi-verti]

I caught up to Re: Dracula today & I must confess that when I heard Quincey P. Morris’ voice lines — oh lord — I had to stop what I was doing, place a hand over my heart, & just listen.

In my previous readings and listenings of Dracula, Quincey always struck me as a silly character. Don’t get me wrong. He has just as much depth & personality as the others in the crew of light, but Stoker’s attempt at Texas slang along with Quincey’s rootin’ tootin’ & shootin’ attitude make him a funny guy for a modern American reader such as myself.

But in Re: Dracula, he comes to life. I cannot overemphasize what an amazing job Giancarlo Herrera does voicing him. Lines that seemed silly on the page are turned into speech that flows as naturally as a conversation overheard at the grocery store. Not only is Quincey realistic, but the charisma he exudes is absolutely captivating. I’ve always been a big Quincey fan, but this Quincey is by far my favorite Quincey.

[raythefool]

guys named john/jon and being in a Situation

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

Jon Arbuckle (the fat fucking cat chronicles)

John Egbert (you know the one)

Gillian Leonidas-Marcelo-Robert-Gilbert-Archimedes-Pliskin-Kneute-Applegate-Fuckboy-Lorenzo-Casimiro-John-Face (VA-11 Hall-A)

John Ward (FAITH)

Jon Matteson (real life human man)

General John MacNamara/McNamara (Hatchetfield Universe)

Jonathan Byers (Stranger Things) (couldnt think of a funny name replacement, sorry)

John Watson (elementary, my dear john)

Jonathan Harker (the only thing Dracula is thirsty for that isn’t blood)

John Wick (pov your friend kills your dog in minecraft)

Johnny Bravo (woah momma)

John Marston (rootin' tootin' shootin' red edition)

Jonathan Joestar (jon's unusual experience)

Johnny Joestar (jon's unusual expeHey wait a minute)

Johnny English (he's played by Rowan Atkinson i'd say that's a Situation by itself)

John Wilkes Booth (shooting Abraham Lincoln is also a bit of a Situation i'd say)

John Kramer ("not a murderer")

i am struggling to think of any more johns/jons at the moment, if anyone knows any other Johns/Jons that have been or are currently in a Situation, please yell at me and i will probably expand the list. thank you