#i find it kind of funny how for now I mostly scream in my post about danlou/armandaniel/claudelaine

[superiorkenshi]

I need to scream in public space at how "On brûlera" of Pomme is so Claudeleine coded-

(Here is the English trad of the lyrics go listen to Pomme if you need some queer french music-)

[alpinelogy]

Fic Writer Interview

thank you for tagging me @13834. Hopefully the tag works <3

Under the cut cause I said so much help. This took like an hour?? Probably maybe even longer

How many works do you have on ao3? 16 posted as attraqtia + 6 posted on anon + 1 one I hid because I did not like it. And an extra one on my old AO3 but I'm discounting that one lmao. Also back in the day I posted on a further unspecified fanfic archive that is not AO3 (and is still around) as well as on Wattpad and ff.net but I've forgotten my username and login to all and I refuse to admit to those anyway so...

What’s your total word count? 238,447 words. Insane

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ether strike (313 kudos)

galaxy collapse (somebody scream) (257 kudos)

home is only a town (you're just a guest) (224 kudos)

kicked out the stage lights (you’re still performing) (222 kudos)

system’s breaking down (there’s been a glitch) (214 kudos)+ because I find it funny, 6th place is shared between fill your drink with tonic gin (this is the american dream) and universum both at 187 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not? I try to (I say as if I have responded to a comment within the past several months) but I am not very good at it. Wish i could like a comment tbh, sometimes it is a idk what to say but your comment made me smile. Also I just get so much burnout I hate it here

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Uh... probably fill your drink with tonic gin (this is the american dream). Don't really write angsty endings but this is open ended so o7

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Heckies there are several possibilities. Ignoring pwp cause I almost exclusively write established relationship so that is technically happy;

galaxy collapse (somebody scream) is a romcom that ends in loscar happy in a relationship. Happiest ending I've written. That being said

we found wonderland (you and i got lost in it) has a less happy ending but it is significantly angstier so it has a bigger range of emotions. Same goes for kicked out the stage lights (you're still performing). Putting them together cause they both have the roughly same setup of lost contact in an angsty way

same goes for now entering a world (from which you will never return) aka timeloop. Not a super happy ending but the amount of angst makes it feel more happy I think

finally maybe we got lost (in translation) and home is only a town (you're just a guest) are both getting together fics and they end in a happy get together. So adding those as well. They are not romcoms since there is plenty of drama and angst in both

Do you write crossovers? Uh... no rules (in breakable heavens) aka cycling au is a crossover right? I took guys from media A (F1) and put them into the universe of media B (cycling). Granted they are both sports that exist in the same universe but I think this should count as a crossover to me

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nope. Thank fucking god. In all my close to a decade of writing never and I hope it stays that way

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeah. Mostly established relationship pwp so I am pleading to AO3 to please add tenderhorny as a tag, most of my smut involves some (mild) kinks but also the established relationship part is important!!

Only single thread of gold (tied me to you) has explicit smut and is not pwp lmao. And yeah... that also has domestic fluff as a tag so who tf knows

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope. Or at least no that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No... technically. Me and kiro have been floating an idea of co-writing a fic earlier this year but we never got around to it. Kiro come back from the war (US education system) I wanna co-write that fic 🥺

That being said I would love to cowrite a fic one day, it always sounds so fun!! Any writing mutuals (or non writing mutuals who even just need an emotional support writer or anything else o7) hmu I would love to co-write a fic <3

What's your all-time favourite ship? All time including previous fandoms? Bokuaka from Haikyuu!!

F1 only? Probably Piarles actually. Or Loscar or Lolex, been leaning a lot towards Lolex recently Honorary cycling mention: pogrog. The ideas people post and the few fics on AO3... Please these two intrigue me so much

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I am eternally scared I would never finish time travel George :(((. Really wanna write it, one of these days I will lock in I promise.

What I will never actually write? The original iteration of rbr!Oscar. Idk if I ever will write a version of it, I plotted the original version in August last year and my opinion of rbr has changed since then. I have replotted some of it few months bac but idk how I feel about rbr still lmao. But I am stealing a lot of the backstory for a Merc!Oscar AU so I suppose it works out :3c

Cycling AU also used to look very different. Tbh if anyones interested I'd love to yap about it, don't think it could ever work and it was the first thing I plotted but I have a soft spot for it :). Honestly I just really wanna talk about cycling AU, I have done so much worldbuilding for it and I adore it <3

More ideas from 2023 I will never finish: a Le Mans au for a further unspecified ship, several landoscar wips, several different takes on the pierresteban beef (one day I will write one. Just the ones I have rn will never make it out of the Google docs in their current state). Several different character studies of a driver I now hate so 😂😭

What are your writing strengths? Description I think. Being ESL and having a read a lot in English as a child means that my vocabulary is wide and messy and I am willing to stick three different words with the same meaning next to each other so lol and lmao

What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue. Idk how to even talk with people irl, does anyone think I can wrote a dialogue of two people?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Idk I'm not a huge fan unless it is to make a point? Like if you speak the language then I suppose but idk, dont vibe with it

That being said non-English pet names when relevant (ie Piarles using pet names in French) is cute :)))

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Refuse to admit to it. Second one was Naruto asdfghj

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? PIERRESTEBAN. Like my second wip ever after cycling au was pierresteban. I have always had at least one pierresteban wip. I never managed to write one that I actually liked but one of these days they will be free. Lets see if I can finish my Brazil fic (also known as azincourt so if that spawns o7) or not

Also gewis. I always forget I have not written them yet lmao, time travel George truly lives rent free in my head :)))

And one of these days I will write a proper cycling fic, not an a with the F1 guys. I just... have a weird relationship with cycling rpf on account of growing up with the sport, but I respect the work yall do and I do have the cycling rpf tag opened in a tab on my phone. One of these days I will process my thoughts on it and then write a pogrog fic o7

What's your favourite fic you've written? Heck idk. Top 3 5 in no particular order:

galaxy collapse (somebody scream) - not that good cause its close to a year old but I adore the premise, I adore the vibes, I adore her so much. She is so fun and chill I think I could've done a better job on her in hindsight so she does not get to be No1 but my beloved

now entering a world (from which you will never return) - timeloop!! Probably if I had to say just one it would be her, a labor of love, I think some bits of my thesis of the fic (trust the people around you, it is okay to rely on them at times) are clumsily executed within the actual text and in hindsight there might be bits I wanna retcon but I do adore her a lot

we found wonderland (you and i got lost in it) - my dearly beloved first proper long fic. I still regularly think about the galex in this AU. Like no joke I have made up a very cheesy and idealized and probably lowk ooc future for them that I shall not yap on here about (re: the ooc bit) but honestly, if anyone wants to know it I am willing to yap in DMs o7

kicked out the stage lights (you’re still performing) - so fun to write!! wrote across like three or four sessions, feels like a very condensed version of wonderland and yes. I may or may not have thought of what happens after as well

home is only a town (you're just a guest) - I adore soulmate AUs a lot!! It was on my bucket list to write some day and I'm so glad I finally wrote it!! I vibe with the premise so much and the world building my beloved, so many bits to explore in just Alex and Logan's upbringing (bottom line consider the fact that Charles and Alex would have a fundamentally different relationship cause Charles' soulmate is also named Alex!! Just marinate on that) + honorary mention of no rules (in breakable heavens). I was (and still am lowk) working through a burnout so she is sorta ass but its cycling au. I adore cycling au. I don't think I can put it into words how much the cycling au means to me, one of these days I will write drabbles about the other guys. Bottom line George and Alex in that AU intrigue me

Sorry for the long ass yap asdfgh. Tagging uh... @landoisokay @lafaerie @weegreenbean @autumn816 @femmegeorge @racingliners and @kiroiimye if you by any chance open Tumblr in the next few days >:) come on come back to writing

[darcytaylor]

Hi there, I stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! I really enjoyed reading your deep dives. I agree with a previous commenter; your posts have been articulate, understanding and compassionate while also being on the nose with your critiques. With all the heightened emotions right now, thank you for keeping things calm while also being able to explain your take on everything - it’s been very interesting to read! I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I have to admit I learned a lot about Luke from your deep dives, mostly because I wasn’t really paying much attention to him until the press coverage started in earnest earlier this year. And I’m not entirely sure what to make of him now; it was very eye opening and gave me plenty to think about. I genuinely liked him up until this all happened, and I think I still do, but my god, has he (and his team) created a mess for himself. Some thoughts, in no discernible order: 

Saying he was most like his character/Colin. I 1000000000% agree with you here! I think that’s why it was so jarring when people found out about the (not so secret, I now realize) gf. “Colin as a character made them feel seen. They couldn't separate Luke from Colin because he kept saying he was like Colin” Ugh, that’s some heartbreak right there. 

I also feel very strongly about the age thing, and I’m heartened to hear I’m not alone in this. The age gap would be one thing for a “normal, everyday couple,” but I agree when there’s also a power dynamic involved, it just makes me feel even more uneasy. Then you add in his comments about how he remembers being in his early 20s…

His social media is a fucking mess. Someone else needs to take control ASAP. Especially if he claims he was moving it into a more professional direction. JFC, there are literal professional who get paid to do this; hire them.

I agree that he should be booked for, like, the next 2 years from this point, and that’s a huge mistake that he isn’t. He can’t just seriously think he can fuck off to Fashion Week and this will all blow over, right? Right!?!?

I think we can all agree that Nicola is fucking perfection. 

(Can you tell I have a comms background? Everything about how all of this has been (mis)handled has made me want to cry, scream and throw up - and not in the funny meme way. But seriously, how can his team bungle all of this SO POORLY???) Anyway, I have a lot more thoughts but I’m now worried I’ve flooded your ask box. Thanks for humoring me!

Thank you for taking the time to read all of the deep dives and your kind words!

The whole situation has been wild to look at from the outside. I could see so much hate going around from all sides and felt that maybe if I put everything together, people could look at the situation with clear eyes.

I think that Luke still has the potential to go places in his career and hopefully the situation that he has found himself in will help him. You know the saying "sometimes you have to hit rock bottom", this could be that for Luke.

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

Well. I guess a year or so passed since I posted.

I wish I could write how insane this year has been but I'm still so scared to not be anonymous due to past stalkers.

My life changed big time..

I got married. Yup. Straight married girl crush is now my wife.

I moved half way across the world.

I got away from everything.

It's both magical and devastating. Every part of my life has changed beyond recognition. I can barely recognise myself. Even good change is terrifying. And let me tell you, if you're an RA survivor and finally leave the town it all happened in.. finally change your whole life.. AND get in to an intense and deep relationship.... and find a doctor who calls out the RA within 3 sessions purely from our body and knowing nothing else about us (she's a survivor herself).... talk about programming being set off all over the fucking place

And some relational stuff is kicking my ass right now. And so much is surfacing. My system is a triggered mess... not surprisingly.. I'm away from everything I know.

Today the self harm scared me. The stuff happening is scaring me. I need somewhere to be anonymous and try to write about even a fraction of it anonymously.. I need a voice.. I feel like I'm drowning. And it's christmas lol.

Oh S and I still have a super easy relationship since ending therapy. So funny to me after all the attachment terror of not seeing her twice a week every week forever.. it was us who moved around the world lol. We message most days and it's just simple. Zero attachment. Zero ruptures. That's one relationship and attachment success at least lol. I still don't want to go back to therapy. I do need more support. I've been trying other modalities but I haven't found what I need yet I don't think. What I need is probably myself lol story of my life. The denial is intense as fuck. It's really putting my safety at risk because it prevents me from doing the work. I need to be able to believe and listen to parts. They are quite literally screaming. And hurting the body. And it's been 8 years since diagnosis. 4 years since losing the longterm therapist which shut it all down. It's time. Our wife said today "I kind of want to say what (that therapist) said all those years ago. If you don't face this (break through denial basically), you're going to die." She said she is scared every day to come home to a dead wife. I don't want that to be our story. We finally got away. Externally we mostly have all we ever wanted at last. We just need the past to stop drowning us. And to do that we need to find a way to believe it exists safely. So. I guess that's why I'm back. Even if all I do is read. We'll see.

[moonamite]

Randall fictive anon here, regarding the post you linked: the autism implications are so real! I am the whole tbh creature honestly

And one thing that’s kind of funny about the MI/MU fandom is that the ship art involving me and Johnny is cute in theory, but I’d mostly just like to wack him over the head with a scream canister; I’m glad we seem to agree that he contributed to my source’s mental silliness (hate to say it but I still know people irl who are a lot like Johnny, and I’d also like to hit them with scream canisters)

(P.S: thanks for letting me interact, I assume by default that my presence isn’t welcome most places so it’s nice to have this exception :) very cool blog you’ve got here) (oh, and feel free to tell me to lighten up if I accidentally get too emo)

Your presence is very much welcome! (I don’t get asks very often lol)

I’m all for toxic yaoi but due to how personal I find Randall’s situation, I can’t get behind it. Thankfully for me I was able to see that I wasn’t being treated as an equal

His lil wave at the scare games. Ugh. He’s never had people cheer for him before. That one second of victory. Approval. It’s so intoxicating and you’d do anything to feel it again.

I think it’s definitely believable how easily he falls for it and how quickly he’s willing to change for his new ‘friends’. I think he would’ve left or tried to leave after they blew up at him for messing up, but then again maybe they pulled him back in. But being away from them wouldn’t make him better because NOW he’s all wrapped up in his hatred for Sully.

Dw he just needs some headphones and a notepad and a good chewing out and a therapy and at least one friend and a hobby and maybe a girlfriend (or a boyfriend! He could be bi. Damn nobody want u fr 😭)

[nerves-nebula]

This might not be the most coherent, sorry. Please bare with me.

I think there’s something really beautiful about your art, even outside of its particular and fascinating style. You have a vulgar, ugly way (/pos) of designing characters; the way you draw both your human and non human characters makes me feel strangely seen, and has in the past year made me so much happier with my own body.

Looking at your drawings always makes me want to draw too! Everything you made, down to the simplest doodle, inspires me, and makes me feel like I could try do that too.

My fascination with your OCs might be less to do with any inherent story or detail to them (although the themes I know I’ll find and nuances in their design and personalities are something I can always rely on ur art for) and more to do with the fact it’s coming from you. That I trust you tell a story or tackle a topic in a way that I trust few other creators to. Not withheld by censorship or any strict format, you are a case and point to what I love about freelance artist who have the time and means to create. Anything you write and draw will hold leagues of depth. That when you present an idea it will be interesting, and my attention and focus will be captured in a way few things can manage anymore. Your art is so unabashed in its everything and it makes me want to scream.

Your unabashed approach to tackling dark themes in such an unveiled, first person account, way, has had me reflecting on my own experiences so many times. Your art has done more for me than attempts at therapy ever did, and while I’m sure that might be more to do with the way my brain works and how I heal and reflect, personally, it doesn’t change the fact that you helped me. You changed the shape of my art and my interests and the way I consume media. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and mind, now, and I owe so much of that to you. You truly are my favourite artist, and if I had money ever, I’d commission u so fucking often.

(Also your casual posts are funny and based a lot of the time, and I really like how organized your tags are too.)

You have a vulgar, ugly way (/pos) of designing characters; the way you draw both your human and non human characters makes me feel strangely seen,

:DDD so glad you guys get what I'm going for here.

awww oommggg haha awwww you guyssss you're making me blush <3

genuinely this is so sweet and kind I dunno what to do with it really. i feel like it deserves a long response to try to put into words how it's making me feel but I can't come up with anything haha. like, this is kinda what I do it for? i mean i mostly do it for myself but this is something I hope for when making art too so like. aoguashg.

I guess I'll just say that hearing that i can help people this much just by Posting On The Internet makes me glad I haven't killed myself yet and I'll leave it at that.

[hunterwritesstuff]

Can we get some shit post /crack headcanons of Joey? Not ship stuff just. Joey

I HAVE SO MANY YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE

✏️ Joey hates summer. loves the fireworks, hates the heat.

✏️ he has ONE SINGLE SCAR. THIS IS FROM HIS BROTHER THROWING A FUCKING ROCK AT HIM AS A CHILD.

✏️ Joey doesn't believe in pancakes. he thinks having pancakes for breakfast is an affront to God. He like waffles more since it contains syrup better.

✏️ fucking hates oatmeal. he doesn't like how lumpy it feels :(

✏️ if he smells one of those fucking. gym ball things, he WILL DUCK FOR COVER. YOU KNOW, THE KIND USED FOR DODGEBALL.

✏️ he EXCLUSIVELY USES paper plates. he hates doing dishes.

✏️ Joey was a menace in high school, he used to hide in the lockers to scare people passing by.

✏️ He once had to sleep in his treehouse outside, this was because he had a cookie dough ball fight with his brother when he was ten.

✏️ He has an affinity for finding all of the plants he's fucking allergic to.

✏️ His emotions are shown through his smiles.

✏️ This is his "Henry don't leave me here smile"

✏️ someone help this poor man.

✏️ He has severe thalassophobia. He has no reason to have this fear. If you showed this man Subnautica, he would be sobbing within seconds.

✏️ He loves puzzles but is never allowed to do them. This is due to his habit of eating the pieces. you dumb whore. those are not potato chips.

✏️ He is not allowed to drink. He got drunk at a college party once and somehow ended up in a whole other state. nobody knows how this happened. He also ate a rock.

✏️ He does not like birds very much. One screamed at him in a pet store when he was six, and he holds a grudge against them to this day because of it.

✏️ He had a weed brownie once. That's how all the characters from the nightmare run cast came to be.

✏️ He's picky about his cough syrup. NEVER LET THIS MAN BE SICK AROUND YOU, IF YOU VALUE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

✏️ If he could play the sonic games from nowadays, his favorite character would unironically be Vector, as crocodiles are his favorite animal.

✏️ As a kid, he tried to exclusively eat cucumber sandwiches. Now, he has a firm disdain for them, as he feels he "ate his lifetime supply of those fuckers as a child, now I don't need to ever have one again.".

✏️ He's a slut for chocolate chip cookies. Henry tried tricking him with a raisin cookie by telling him it was a chocolate chip cookie. That is the first time Joey drew blood.

✏️ He would have eaten play-doh.

✏️ He likes squirrels. He thinks they sound funny.

✏️ His favorite dinosaur is the brachiosaurus. If you don't know it by name, it would be better known by the name given in Land Before Time, being Longnecks.

✏️ He's basically Henry's worst nightmare. Henry was raised catholic. Joey(outside of a work setting, obviously) will make sex jokes at the drop of a hat. can we get an F in the chat for Henry.

✏️ He fucks around with those artist dolls. He has no reason for this. He just likes doing it.

✏️ He wasn't well liked as a child. This was due to whenever he was invited to play house with the other kids, it would go the divorce route. Nobody liked Joey. Poor Joey.

✏️ He had to go to the hospital a lot as a child. He broke a lot of bones. He did this mostly to get out of school. He is not very smart.

✏️ He prefers pure chocolate to chocolate with nuts in it, since, "I prefer my chocolate without nuts, since it makes my teeth hurt when it has nuts in it.".

✏️ He has a knight helmet. He will wear it around the house.

✏️ To help him remember to do his nightly routine, he has his old teddy bear do it alongside him. If he can't find him to do it with him, he isn't doing it. What if he forgets a step?!

✏️ His first Norman jumpscare was when the lights went out due to a power outage. Joey just saw a disembodied hand hand him a candle. Joey passed out.

[zaacoy]

It's 3 am!! You know what that means!!! Delusional tang posting time let's gooo yippee!!!!!!

Said I'd dump S4 Tang thoughts here a week ago and then I just kinda. didn't. oopsies, but I can start now!!

S4 Spoilers below the cut, you have been warned!!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE OF SORTS AFTER WRITING THIS: WOW IS THIS LONG. I got a little too silly and put too many thoughts down at once oops, prepare to be reading for a good minute you have been warned (twice!!) aughdhsj

My thoughts are so disorganized rn prepare for a rollercoaster of whatever my brain spits out!!

First. Ep 4 intro.

Good to see that Tang still can never have a nice landing unlike everybody else

THE CROCODILE??????? HELLOSNBD?!?

MF GETS BODY SLAMMED?????

THIS SCREAM????? He gets to scream for like, 2. SECONDS. BEFORE HE GETS?? DRAGGED RIGHT BACK INTO THE WATER????

ALL OF THE SCREAMINGSG??? THE BASS???? THE FUCKING GUITAR????????

I can't. I cannot. convey in words how incredibly funny this scene is to me. I can't sit through it and not laugh or start kicking my feet it's just THAT good. They had Z E R O business doing this to him, this scene had absolutely NO REASON to be THIS chaotic but they?? did it anyway????? jgkngm???? I love this show sm

He's so pretty in this specific lighting I need to draw him like this soon or I will explode wowowee

HE DEFLATED. SO FAST.

That's such a funny reaction, no more energy just. Whatever. Eat me I guess I don't care just start cooking so pigsy can come back please. He is so funny

weapon. just straight up bonk him into a demon like a plank of wood

Actually now that I think about it why? Did nobody untie him??? they found him and just left him like that?? Neither of them ever untied him if memory serves I'm pretty sure pigsy did it while he was cooking. ???

"To get crammin' APPARENTLY! HMPF!"

"Oh, haha! I'M the dinner! Excellent."

Good to see Tang's sass and saltiness never leaves, they should let him be sarcastic and talk back more often

Done with all of your bs glares at you glares at you glares at you glares at y

What comes around goes around!!! Their dynamic is fun wahoo

He noms very happily!!! omnomnom (he deserves it at this point mans DESPERATELY needs a break)

THEY DID NOT HAVE TO CALL HIM OIT LIKE THAT DHDHJS PLEASE????? JAJJS The little sad noises he makes as he gets torn into, little guy behavior tbh

"-stop gorging yourself on our rations!" "I'm sorry! It's just I'm stressed okay!?"

STRESS-EATER CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!! YOU AND ME BOTH BUDDY. No wonder he married a cook, wonder if in college everytime Tang was mega stressed about finals or a big deadline coming up (the latter could be true later when he's out of college and had a job too) if pigsy, assuming he had the time, would just make a meal for him. They probably wouldn't be able to spend much time together in that situation so making him something when he knows Tang is stressed seems like a realistic thing for Pigsy to do in order to subtly show he's there for support when need be. Tang pays that kindness forward by actually paying his tab for once coughs

"HEY! I so to am perfect!" (S1)

"hmmmm, if I wasn't so cool and relaxed all the time I'd be reeeeeally worried about the consequences of this" (S1)

"I know my issue is my self confidence" (S4)

(Can't find a way to make it a gif) Tang: so ""relaxed"" in his current situation that he is shaking hard enough to vibrate in place, coupled with the look of completely calm and collected and ""coolness"". (S4)

Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night chan- gets shot

ACTUALLY THo S4 fleshed him out as a character so much, especially when we compare him to how he started all the way back in S1. Beforehand in earlier seasons everything was mostly stable for him. Same places, same people, consistent comfort, it gave him some sense of security that could have made his "calm and relaxed" demeanor viable back then. But now that everythings been thrown up and ruined by powers out of Tang's control, his bubble of safety no longer stands. We begin to see it in season 3 with lady bone demon's attacks + macaque's continued interference. Tang seems a lot more on edge near the latter half of season 3 then he had been all of the rest of the show and there's definitely WAY more panic present as one bad thing after another unfolds, notably when he is quite literally moved to tears as he's forced to forge the samadhi fire. It does kind of consistently crop up during other prior conflicts too but much more mildly and on a more temporary scale. Now, seemingly not long after the lbd incident as mk evidently still hasn't pushed past lbd all that well, his entire framework of stability is practically smashed into pieces. He's stuck in a scroll, he loses track of all of his friends for a while, there is no comfortable safe space for him anymore(a book can probably only realistically tell you so much about a setting, probably not enough to evoke the same familiarity that his house or pigsy's shop does), he literally almost gets eaten, there's ANOTHER massively powerful divine being threatening the safety of his loved ones along with his own, and on top of it all he can't get his powers (which are evidently in DIRE need right now) to work half the time. He had built a dependency on the routine of mundane life beforehand and S4 completely shatters that routine and subsequent stability. It's no wonder why we begin to see him crack, it make sense why we're just now seeing the actual depths of his lack of confidence and his anxiety. This has always been a problem more likely than not, he was able to cope before, or at least hide it, but he can't now. His inability to use his powers properly inevitably worsens the problem. He needs to use his powers but he cant. He needs to be useful, he has to be, but he just can't no matter how long or how hard he tries. Every odd is against him, it's getting to him and it shows. I love how lmk doesn't try to hero-speech it's way out of every character's doubts. I love how they let him break down several times throughout season 4, I love how they let him show emotional weakness not as a plot obstacle that can be ✨✨completely overcome with the power of believing in yourself!! And friends!!! And flashy magic!!! Yayyyyy!!!✨✨ but as a fundamental part of Tang that he just has to work around and deal with it. They obviously can't get too in depth into it (and probably never will) because a. This is a kid show made by Lego, and b. Because he's, y'know, not the main character, but the attention they did bring to it is nice.

I have. Accidently written a paragraph. Oops. uhhhh tldr: They did a good job portraying Tang's internal struggles through S4 while not invalidating his character and behavior from previous seasons. When you kick the rug out from someone's feet and then throw them off a 400ft cliff into a pit full of spikes they're going to be at least a little bit terrified out of their mind and are probably going to understandably show weakness somewhere along the way, I'm glad Lego takes a moment to explore that with Tang at least a little bit.

OKAY!! MOVING ON!!! SORRY ABOUT THAT GHFJJ

Mentioned this earlier on twt but the death grip he maintains on his staff when he gets really scared is a nice touch. He has a history throughout all 4 seasons of latching onto objects or people when he's distressed, a small but fun character detail!

LOOK AT HIM. GIVE HIM A BREAK HE HAS EARNED IT AND HE NEEDS IT PLEEEASDE IM BEGGING SOBS FORERVRRHRHNM

"ahh I'm sorry I'm just- I'm having a melt down and I have no idea what's going on and I just-!"

In line with what I ranted on about for an entire essay earlier- explicit mention of a meltdown! It's quick and short but the fact that they called it a meltdown at all is impressive, this is the first time I can remember a show calling one as such. A meltdown in response to a seeming extended lack of security and a disconnect between Tang and what's going on around him is realistic too, I think at least. The scene right after this when the gang (mostly sandy) does their best to bring Tang back down to earth for a moment was nice, they're such a supportive friend group I love this little found family

DHDJJ???? THIS ENTIRE SCENE WAS GREAT BUT THIS ONE??? WHERE HE JUST GOES ZOOMING THROUGH THE AIR SCREAMMG?? IS HE OKAY?????? HSJH

I HAVE. HIT MY IMAGE LIMIT UMMMM.

I had more to say and I will probably say those later!! For now this is it, it is almost 6 am I should really go to bed augahh

Remember!!!!: live, laugh, tang lego monkie kid. GOODNIGHT!!

[phxntomhives]

Welcome to my sideblog

That has most likely become my main one. But idk how to change main and second one. So yeah. So if you see @phxntomhives-98 it's still me. I just don't know why sometimes I can't switch accounts and sometimes I can.

I will try to keep this blog mostly related to Kuroshitsuji and twst but who knows what I will like next. From memes (mostly repost because I am not that funny) to theories you can find anything here.

I am not spoiler free BUT I try my best to protect the new fans and hide things under the cut. Unfortunately, I am human, so you may run into spoilers, I am truly sorry.

I am 25, she/her pronouns, INTP. I would love to get to know more people in the fandoms I am in, but eeeh my social skills are lacking. So feel free to hit my dms, I don't bite I promise. I am trying to make more moots/mutuals pls

Here most thing you can find me posting about/comments etc (under the cut because it became long ops)

Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler

Sebaciel shippers do not interact. I will just block and move on. If you see me liking one post tagged like that it's because I am stupid and I don't always read the tags, pls let me know and I will fix the problem.

Now that the important part is over: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW SEASON AAH. The Weston College arc is my favourite so I am very happy and it feels so nice to see my children here :3

I am up to date with the manga as well, so if you need to cry with someone, I am here. Sobbing.

My fave is Ciel, and Lizzie slander shall not be tolerated (half joking, you are free to dislike her but I am ready to fight at any time to defend her).

A couple of things you may want to check? If you are bored???

New manga chapter comments under: #Phxntomhives Kuro manga yapping

Analysis/theories

"The Parade of Battlers" song analysis

Finny grew up (chapter 211 spoilers)

Short analysis of the GFantasy May cover

The unlucky fate of the P4

Silly theory of the cricket's ending dance

Edgar sure is very much unlucky when it comes to life decision...

About Lizzie's anger (reblog theory)

Chapter 209 crack theory (to welcome denial)

Short analysis of Bluewer talking to Ciel during the Midnight party (from a reblog)

Short analysis of Undertaker's GFantasy cover

Headcanons

P4 headcanons

My kuro AU, kuro AU pt 2

Gregory scream headcanons (kind of angst)

Pandora Hearts

Very new to the fandom and I understood like half of it. Anyway it's beautiful and you all should read it! Come cry with me!

Here some fresh thoughts after I read the last chapter

Headcanon to hurt my soul

Vanitas no carte/The case study of Vanitas

Up to date with both anime and manga! And not so patiently waiting for each update. I miss them, I hope for a new chapter soon.

Twisted Wonderland (JP SERVER)

Up to date with main story and eons behind with the events ops. No I do not know japanese, tho I am trying to learn, but I started the game when that was the only version avaiable and I will not start again on eng server sorry. (Technically I have started but I had no more space on my phone and one had to go)

If you are curious about what I think about the story check #phxntomhives twst yapping (because I plan to type a lot and refuse to keep updating this list it's supposed to be pretty after all)

Theories

Events are canon. Part 2: wish upon a star.

Silver gets a title copium.

Tokyo Aliens

READ IT LEGALLY. FOR FREE. HERE I TELL YOU HOW.

WHY IS THERE NO FANDOM IT'S SUCH A NICE STORY. PLEASE GIVE IT A CHANCE.

I AM LIVING OF HALF A POST AND FANMADE TRANSLATION. HELP.

Parallels between Tokyo Aliens and Negai no Astro

Spoiler/Analysis from scans: chapter 41, chapter 42, chapter 43, chapter 44, chapter 45, chapter 46, chapter 47, chapter 48, chapter 49, chapter 50 (After I added these I basically took over the tags plsssss)

Dr stone

It's appearing more on my feed so I had the feeling I had to add this lol. I love it dearly, I finished the manga and I need to catch up with the anime. I am extremely worried about the rumored (?) new volume that is coming ngl

Negai no Astro

Damn, I am hooked.

Parallels between Tokyo Aliens and Negai no Astro

Aaand honestly many more, feel free to ask! If it helps, here is my not updated because it takes forever MyAnimeList! But I probably missed many of them so really, just come and ask.

I may drop some suggestions to read too sometimes, here they are

Suggestions for you <3

Why you should read Merry Marbling

If you like Negai no Astro or Tokyo Aliens PLEASE CHECK THE OTHER SERIE MENTIONED.

[oonajaeadira]

Hello! Absolutely no obligation at all to answer this, you just seem really lovely and approachable. Any words of advice you would be willing to share for someone who sort of just arrived here accidentally because they are chronically behind the times and didn’t realize there was a bandwagon and is now utterly terrified to interact anywhere in the fandom lest they make a problem worse and/or get lumped in with the portion of the bandwagon that is…erm, overboard and a bit scary?

(Which isn’t to say you or anyone else is being intimidating on purpose of course. Everyone seems lovely, the anxiety is just REALLY committed to winning this round.)

(Second add-on before I forget, your writing is absolutely bloody brilliant by the way. Thank you for sharing it with us!)

Hello you lovely, lovely, lovely human. <3

Breathe and stick close, honeybee. This is a good corner of the fandom....at least from where I'm sitting.

To be totally honest, I know that there's a lot of horror in the fandom, but I've actually not seen a lot of it with my own eyes. That's because when I landed here, I basically just kinda sat and observed folks for a hot second, started writing, and let friendlies come to me. If someone or the mutuals they would interact with seemed like a lot of drama, I mainly steered clear. My best friends here mostly approached me and were kind and gentle and funny and respectful to the man we all love. And because of that, I've pretty much just curated a really lovely corner of the fandom for myself.

As someone who deals with anxiety and depression though, I get you. Coming into a place where there are SO MANY of fans and cliques and strong friendships feels intimidating...like starting at a new school/job. There's really no short answer though. Like anything else, settling in and finding your folks and your path takes a little time.

You seem to be doing alright so far though...you marked me as someone safe to approach. So your powers of observation are working! Good start! 😄

But nobody's going to assume you're one of the scary ones right off the bat. Being kind and offering up a bouquet of niceness (like you did in your ask) opens the door up real quick.

So my question for you is...where do you want to live in this fandom? Are you a fic writer? A gif maker? An artist? A reader? A reblogger? If one of the first three, then start creating, kitkat! Learn how to tag your stuff and those who love it will find you! If you're a reader, I guarantee the fastest way to spread goodwill and make artists start to recognize your callsign and appreciate you is by reblogging and commenting on their work. I can't emphasize that enough--creators don't get paid for their work here. They share their creations in exchange for interaction and community. They want to scream joyfully about the fandom with other fans. Please, for the love of Pedro, come scream with us!

And that, my friend is what you bring to the table.

That's all you have to do. Openly share joy. Do it by sharing your art/stories/talents or by sharing the work of others and your love of it. And if you happen to share your joy with someone but don't receive it back from them, then you've found someone who may not be worthy of your collection of the fairest folk. That's okay. There are a hundred more who will acknowledge your joy. Turn around and you'll walk right into them around here.

But if you have anxiety, it's okay to go slow. Starting on anon is good, helps you get some practice in before you're ready for your debut. Just remember what my buddy @insomniamamma says..."the anon button is not for hate. It's for horny and embarrassed about it."

You'll get over the embarrassment soon enough once you realize we're all pretty horny (including sappily horny for fluff and romance) around here. Don't judge yourself for it. We sure won't!

Post some joy. Reblog some work with an "I love this!" Join in an ask game. All of those are loved around here.

And do it on your own terms. Take the time you need.

Nobody's gonna think you're one of the overwhelming ones, love. They'll just think you're one of the thirsty ones. And that's nothing to be ashamed of once you realize that you're no different from everyone else in your new favorite corner of the fandom.

(gif by damerondjarin)

[malachiexists13]

My first impression of the Ikemen Villains guys:

[Disclaimer: I know nothing about these characters asides from the descriptions shared around Tumblr. I probably won't play the game any time soon considering that its being first released in Japanese, so unless it later on gets released in English, I won't play. Also this post is partially a joke, don't take me too seriously.]

William Rex

He gives off a more "evil, avoid at all costs, worldwide disaster" vibe than Gilbert ever did. My first thought upon seeing him was, "omg- Vlad???" But then I read his description and thought, "ohhh. So Vlad, but evil. Like if Vlad and Motonari had a baby..."

Harrison Gray

First thought, "yo, Edgar, what are you doing here??" Like bro does look like Edgar, even his description screams Edgar to me. I've seen others compare him with Nokto, but I havent paid much attention to Nokto so maybe thats why I cant see it? Idk. But yeah, I guess since Ikerev is over, Edgar had to find a new profession :/

Liam Evans

Omg, look. Loki grew up, he's a big kid now!

Idk how to really react to this one? Like, ok, he's got the chesire cat curse or whatever, he looks a bit like Loki, ..and he's supposed to be sexy? I mean, I see the vibe they were going for. But if they try to shove that "drop-dead gorgeous" or "sexy ladies man" shit down our throats like they did with Yoshimoto and Shingen in Ikesen (could also probably find other examples in the other games..) then I might end up hating him.

ALSO HIS POSE AND SORTA HIS OUTFIT REMINDS ME OF YVES-

Elbert Greetia

Omg its Chevalier but if he was actually angsty. Or maybe it's just Lancelot.

Ok- so its mostly like the hair that screams both Lancelot and Chevalier to me. Its Lancelot's style but Chev's color. And the eyes could easily be a mix of both-

But he also kinda reminds me of Satan from Obey Me, with the whole "obsessively collects beautiful things and leaves them untidy in his room." That's literally Satan but with books, but Satan also likes beautiful things.

Alfons Slyvatica

Omg is that Sebastian Michaelis?? (Im sorry- Ive never even seen Black Butler, I'll go home now-)

Idk. Ive seen others compare him to like, Jean but evil. I look at him and see Sebastian Michaelis. Or maybe like, Kicho because of the hair. But then the line "With his consistent dishonesty, he teases you, but-" makes me think of, strangely, Mitsuhide?

Roger Barel

I've seen other compare him to Jin. I look at him and see Loid Forger. Which funny enough, his VA, Eguchi Takuya, also voices Loid Forger-

Its mostly the hair style, and the face, and the glasses- like if he was blonde, with blue (is it blue-? Or does Loid have green-?) eyes then he'd look even more like Loid. I cant really think of any ikemen series characters he reminds me of, at least not appearance. But with the part in his description that says "An egoist who seems rational and will go to any lengths for his own research." makes me think of Faust for some reason..

Jude Jazza

He doesnt immediately remind me of anyone. Ive seen comparisons to Clavis and Silvio, which kinda makes sense? I guess I could see it. The uhh "A twisted man, he has a promise he wants to fulfill and a sullen heart." at first made me think of Mitsuhide. But then I remembered the definition of sullen and that doesnt fit Mitsu. But I guess the having many enemies and being seen as a cold-blooded person who loves the despair and misfortune of others DOES fit Mitsuhide, at least on the surface. Idk. Im bad at analysis like this.

But also like- I share a birthday with this man. Like the exact same date, Dec. 13. So im gonna end up HATING him.

Ellis Twilight

His appearance doesnt really remind me of anyone right away. But his description of being somewhat disturbing yet kind and gentle to everyone, being strangely obsessed with other people's "Happiest Moments in Life" and the having a "love" that he wants to prove makes me think of Charles.

But like, the opposite. Because Charles wants someone to love him, while it seems like Ellis wants to prove his love to someone? So... Charles but emo.

Victor

So.. A lot of people speculate he's the one who put the curses on the others, because his own curse is scratched out. Like we cant read it. Some have compared him to Sariel, because he's like the guide in the game. But also uhh- sorta reminds me of Amon. Maybe its the long hair (probably is).

[strawbrrycuteblog]

hiii. I’m sorry if I made you upset with what I said. that was not my intentions at all. I feel like you shouldn’t delete you account but just start fresh. for example maybe changing your username or creating a new theme and getting rid of posts. I know you may not wanna do this but it’s just a suggestion, and if you do that I could try get Aria to unblock you <3

also your messages wouldn’t work so I’ll just send this on here x

No it’s okay if anything it made me realize what I was doing wasn’t something enhypen would approve of and I cried cause like yeah but I’ll do a different layout and change the posts and think of a different name and I’d be so so so thankful if you could try and get aria to unblock me cause I truly meant no harm and I’m so sad that I disappointed her like it’s not even funny 😭 that whole night I thought about it and cried thinking of how shitty a person I was for writing things like that about him. I know if he found these he’d be uncomfy and they’d probs beat my ass for sexualizing their baby puma :( so therefore I won’t be writing smut for Niki, maybe even not for other members since it’s just all in all makes me uncomfortable to do so. I had fun writing them because it started to get to a point where people enjoyed what I wrote but definitely not for the right reasons. I love the tumblr community (mostly) and to have my account only be warned by other is truly a nightmare, that’s not what I wanted for this account and that’s not what I want people to see me as. My replies to y’all sharing y’all’s open opinions was a bitch move and unlike what I posted I was being a bitch and not that bitch. I can explain this better not that it’s a proper time and I’m not having a whole questionnaire about my existence and I appreciate you being kind to me despite every thing I’ve written down, especially for sending in that paragraph! Because if you hadn’t I probably would have just kept posting worse and worse things about him. I had a thought about posting audios for him and other members since they seem to get a lot of notes but a part of me was like “no this isn’t good like who’s gonna be proud of you for this?” No one. My friend would find me disgusting and so would everyone else and obviously enhypen, after reading your last send I answered and scrolled around my phone, then I went on insta and saw they posted and I wanted to like it but I was so embarrassed because I knew they’d hate me for this. I knew I was doing something wrong yet I still did it and I fell horrible. It makes me want to throw up scream and cry. I looked at jays photos and thought of how Niki’s parents told him to protect Niki and cried cause I knew he’d be so icked about my account and instead of being happy he’d probably pull out a yellow card if he saw me. I crossed a line I regret breaking and hope for forgiveness from everyone but if not that’s totally fine! I understand how y’all would be so upset to send death threats and to send me things about being a creep and all. I wouldn’t wanna write child porn or ever post about it yet I clearly have. I’m so sorry and I’ll own up to my mistakes and be more mature about this from now own, and thank you so much….also is it possible to unblock someone? Cause I’m pretty sure I blocked @rikiluvli I hope I got that right I kinda forgot. And a few other account that I’d prefer to unblock!

[ashadowcalledkei]

So ... QSMP Purgatory huh ...

I had too many thoughts last night to fit in the tags of other people's posts, so I just chucked it all into a draft and polished it up today. Who knows how it'll go from here, everything could change in an instant, but as it stood at the end of yesterday, well ...

It was interesting, because the challenge they were given can be overcome in a way that doesn't follow the eye's wishes. 'Can', being the key word. They've clearly been set up to turn on each other with intent to break the bonds that made them strong. Especially with couples and close friends being split apart like that. They've made it hard for teams to cooperate. However, compromises, workarounds, and cooperation could ensure that the chance of ultimate failure and losing the eggs is minimized. Sharing information, making unified plans, trying to find the cursed team, or find the exit, or find the eggs.

The team I thought most likely to think that way and try new things to get around the system was team red. After all, they did think outside the box with how to get resources and overcome their built in limitations. Why not take that further and think their way out of the situation as a whole? But being hunted for sport while your competition mostly leaves each other alone doesn't exactly allow for that kind of lateral thinking.

So they broke. Understandable.

It was actually so demoralizing watching that happen before it spiraled so far that it twisted around on itself and became utterly hilarious instead. Screaming and singing and dancing around the death pit and the ashes of their own bodies? Fascinating. The surprise lore drops around the 'house' which is only a floor? Fantastic. Funny and oddly touching as they started spilling secrets, no judgements just shocked laughs and a numbed acceptance, to each other in the ruin of what they once tried to build. They 1000% deserve to just go crazy. Do it kings, build that village, become npcs.

(Quick side-bar ... guys, don't you find it odd that our three confirmed avians, Baghera, Jaiden, and Phil, are all on this one team? And two of the three 'odd' tickets, with the only other one being Q himself? It's just strange, it seems significant in a way I can't put my finger on.)

But also. The admin team has done a great job placing clues that all point to blue being the cursed team which Must Not Lose. Great job there, it's a fun little puzzle and just because it looks like people have solved it already doesn't take away from that. We might even be wrong about it, but I hope not, because a good puzzle should be solvable. So ... it's probably team blue. And with certain members of team blue going murder mode and terrorizing team red till they shattered, giving up on points or standings or winning ... that potentially locks it in for them for the rest of the event.

If team red isn't playing by those rules anymore they aren't a threat. And team blue only needs to not be last for the eggs to be saved. Right? Well, done deal. Blue and green can go at it for clout unbothered by red and the threat of true failure. The event might has well have been 1 day. The rest of these two weeks won't matter beyond the lingering effects of personal actions if we truly are going with this format being the majority of the event (and if red truly has been beaten into a pulp).

And honestly ... I'm glad. I'm glad they locked it in. I'm glad team red was so crushed and demoralized that they broke down into madness. Because this is more fun.

Now it's possible that after some sleep red will decide to actually try again .... out-skilled and out-gunned with half their team perma-mia ... or that they'll end up getting member shifted over to make them an actual threat ... but I hope not!

I watch this roleplay server for the stories and drama and comedy. And for the truly beautiful way it has woven together people from different countries and cultures into a close knit group of friends. For the bond forged through joy and terror and loss that made some of these strangers into family. I don't want two whole weeks of sweaty pvp and grinding! Sounds boring. (To say nothing of the jarring tone shift and how it'll change character dynamics after as the memories and guilt and knowledge of how quickly and brutally some of them turned on each other linger.) But you'd best believe I'll tune in to see what these already traumatized people who cracked to pieces do next!

So don't re-balance it admins. Let it ride and let team red do whatever the fuck they want. They earned it. They put in their time being tryhards and it didn't work so fuck it all let's just have fun. Let's go npc madness village! Or whatever new chaos comes next, I'm sure they'll come up with something sufficiently scuffed. Few things are as intriguing and mildly-terrifying as Charlie Slimecicle with 'a plan'.

Go team blue to win the event. Go team red to keep the server fun.

And just as a quick addition ... Charlie summed it all up best. "We were put here to tear each other and ourselves apart ... " "When you guys finally come to your senses ... maybe it'll take a day, maybe it'll take two, but it won't take two weeks. And when you realize what this place is taking from you, you come find us."

[dianneking]

20 Author Questions

Tagged by the lovely @weemssapphic - thank you so very much for that!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? - 37

2. What's your total AO3 word count? - 175,030

3. What fandoms do you write for? - Gwendoline Christie, some other characters in the Wednesday fandom too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? - Surprising Like Good Coffee on a Bad Day, Shapes of Love, First Evening Back, Intoxicated, Entwined Destinies.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? - Yes. I try my best to get to every comment because I love love love the community that builds around shared interests. Also, time is such a rare commodity these days that if you take the time to let me know what you thought of my writings...we're already pals.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - Oh, that's easy, Loving You for sure. The whole premise is hurt no comfort so yeah. Read this at your own risk.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - Hmmmm I feel the one I went in most detail about the happy ending was Surprising Like Good Coffee on a Bad Day, it was extra fluffy and funny and I find myself smiling just thinking about it.

8. Do you get hate on fics? - As of now, not yet. Hopefully it'll stay that way.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? - Yep, at times. As for what kind, depends on the story, but mostly at least somewhat kinky.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? - I love a well executed crossover soooo much. For now, I've only written New Teacher In Town, a Larissa Weems x Melissa Schemmenti (Abbott's Elementary) oneshot, but I do have others I'd like to try my hand at.

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen? - Not that I've noticed. I only write on AO3 and Tumblr, so if you see my fics somewhere else, please tell me - it's probably stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - Not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - Not yet published, but I might have something in the works... isn't that right @scream-queenlover?

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? - Errrrr difficult to say tbh. I like to change and to make different ships work. I like Gwen's characters paired with almost anyone ever. I like the challenge of making it work and surprising readers with them.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? - I don't ever let go of WIPs. They are just biding their time. I have some requests in my inbox from January (if it's yours, I'm so very sorry) but also, the feeling of writing the right fic when you want to write it is something that is so good I just don't want to do an uninspired shoddy work of them. Their time to shine will come.

16. What are your writing strengths? - I am a very logical person, so I like to build my characters so that they make sense, so that their actions and reactions have some meaning and some depth. Also. I loooove to write gut-wrenching angst and I feel like it shows.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? - They change with time and with the fic in question. Right now, to sit my ass down on a chair and write is my greatest challenge. Also, I feel like most of my oneshots are a lot of the same, and that kinda bothers me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? - All for it if I can find a native speaker that betas me on that.

19. First fandom you wrote for? - Well, I wrote an angsty fanfiction of an Ideal Husband before knowing what fanfiction was, so I guess that was my first fandom.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? - Hmmm. Surprising Like Good Coffee on a Bad Day has a special place in my heart because it was my first one, but also I feel so proud of Unrelenting Love (Madeleine) not even quite sure why but I really love the way it came out.

If you see this and you are an author, that's it! You're automatically tagged! And please, do tag me in your post because I am so very curious!

[juniperhillpatient]

How’s it going @juniperhillpatient ?

I forgot to mention before, but the incident with Azula effecting Bumi’s hearing aid with bat sounds reminded me of my childhood.

I probably mentioned this before, but on the chance I didn’t I’ll reiterate. I have (from birth) unilateral hearing loss. Profound deafness in my right ear. Back when I was in elementary school, I was outfitted with an FM system. For the first few years, I had the normal difficulties of the FM system. Background noise, the tedium of lugging the microphone to each class and to each teacher. That sort of thing. While not everyone has the same experience, for me the FM system was…less than adequate.

Back when I was in second grade, my little sister stared elementary school (kindergarten). In her class, there was another deaf child. Though she had bilateral hearing loss, and her parents had get the implants. My sister made quick friends with this kid. Who also used an FM system of her own in conjunction with the implants.

Now my sister hell bent on annoying me as she is apparently decided to pull a prank on me. With the help of her friend and her kindergarten teacher. See the FM system relies of frequency.

The microphone the teacher wears picks up sound, and then sends it to a receiver. For me, I wore a signal hearing aid. For my sister’s friend the recover was her implants. Supposedly, the FM system is supposed to make the sound more crisp for the implants. Or at least that what I’ve been told.

Anyway, one day at dinner my sister asked me for the frequency of my microphone. I being a particularly guileless individual (hence my fascination with Azula as a character) gave it to her.

The next day, she apparently told her teacher the frequency my microphone was one. And he then changed the frequency setting of my sisters friends microphone to mine. Leading me to hear both of my own teachers and my sister’s teachers lessons at the same time.

Now, I was across the school at the time. So the connection between my hearing aid and the microphone in my sister class wasn’t great. So I mostly heard gibberish for about five minutes, till the my sisters teacher changed the frequency. Once the prank was over. My sister (and the rest of my family later) laughed about this for a week!

It wasn’t all bad though, I was eventually able to use this and other incidents to adopt a cross system (the same type I use currently) instead of the FM.

Anyway, sorry for the long winded ask not an ask, this particular part of chapter 76 in Happenstance just reminded me of events in my own childhood.

It’s weird to think that Bumi and I and kindred spirits in being “Azula’d” as it were.

I’m also reminded about Katara’s teasing reaction to Azula’s pride in “bat sonar” used against Bumi. It reminds me of being teased for a week about the “incident”.

But your story provided an Azutara connection to mine own life. And I’ll take it!

Thanks again for writing the amazing story that is Happenstance! And I can’t wait for the Azutara/Scream Au.

That is an absolutely hilarious story!

The idea for Azula to use the bat sonar prank on Bumi with his hearing aids honestly came from absolutely nowhere. While Bumi amassing an army of children & kidnapping Iroh is loosely based on a plot-line from the show “Community,” that specific part just popped into my head & seemed funny!

I love that this little joke resonated with you as someone who uses hearing aids.

Your sister is quite the prankster & I bet you were mad at the time even if you can find the humor now! That’s exactly the kind of shit I would’ve pulled on my brother when we were kids if I could’ve though. Not even gonna lie. I used to love messing with him. However, I’m the oldest! I can’t believe your sister was this much of an aspiring prankster when she was only in kindergarten & you in second grade!

Thank you for sharing the story & thanks for the kind words! I miss Happenstance 😭

Scream Au will be posting regularly…. Soon. I’m working on the “when” of it all! Thank you for the encouragement! ❤️

[kypossumlady]

I quit my job on Tuesday morning. I spent the whole day sleeping. I’ve been unsettled ever since but it’s just the stress of the unknown. I feel really proud of myself for standing up and not staying at a job that was bad for my mental health. It feels like an excuse sometimes and sometimes I’m a little embarrassed. But really it was the best choice.

I had a giant meltdown that night. I think it was needed, even if it was trash and I always get super embarrassed. It did help me to communicate some stuff I couldn’t figure out how to say. I know I bitch so much on here but truly I’m so glad I have Tony. No one has ever showed me that much love and grace, and no one continues to.

People have asked if quitting has helped my anxiety, and it kind of did. The funny thing is I’m always this anxious. It never stops- it just fluctuates. I still wake up randomly through the night. I don’t really sleep that great anymore, and the job def contributed, but the anxiety is forever.

I really like Anna. I’m trying to not rush but I just have a huge crush. The biggest thing I’m navigating is understanding how to talk to her and not feel bombarded by statements that are like, “green is my fave color. It reminds me of my dead granny” or something. I think a lot of it has to do with her never really having actual friends and mostly having relationship friends. I also think where my brain has been a shit mess lately it has skewed my perception of the situation.

I’m really trying to stay in the mindset this year of not thinking “bad” things about people, like “I hope they stub their toe for eternity.” It’s hard when people can be super mean.

I’ve felt out of it mentally for a while. Some days it bothers me. It feels like I’m losing a lot of time. My memory is really bad too. I cry about it a lot, because I know I’ll be gone mentally in the future. I try to not think about it.

I want to find a job I can do that pays okay and isn’t management so I can just, work. I wish I could just do something like a little office work or laying under a tree all day.

Im not sure why I have task paralysis about taking my animals to the vet. It isn’t a bad drive. It isn’t expensive. The people are friendly. It’s just part of how my brain works. I wish I could explain to people that my brain has all the drive in the world but I literally freeze. It isn’t a choice. I feel the same way about grocery shopping. I want to go, but I go and it’s just a lot lot lot. I can do pickup orders which are okay but a lot of times I forget things or want to browse to see my options.

The respite family I used to work with/the family I’ve had since I moved to lex and I don’t talk much anymore. Part of that is where I’ve moved but a lot of it started with the crumble of Cody and I. No one really talks about losing the relationships you’ve built with other people when your intimate relationship dies. I think Gary thought Cody was innocent, and maybe it’s just Gary being friends but he looks at me different now. I feel it. Hattie understands more, so she doesn’t. It’s hard. I can’t push myself to stay around the people that still interact with Cody. I screamed for so long how much I struggled and people didn’t listen, so now I feel like I don’t have to. I don’t really owe anyone an explanation about why I have to dissolve relationships or keep them a certain way.

I say it every year but really considering not doing animal rehab this year. I think my brain really needs the time to focus on the farm. Animals are my go to when I know I’m feeling down, so I end up taking on more than I should. I guess it’s a form of transference.

Long post. I’m glad I word vomit this out somewhere.