#i felt so drained at the end
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Wep Ronpet Feast
This is what I made for Wep Ronpet this year. I wanted to share in case anyone needed ideas for the next year, and those who are farther north than me, if you needed ideas soon. I think a good amount of these dishes can also be used outside of Wep Ronpet for other offerings or honestly just eaten to be eaten.
Day One - Wesir
I did most of my baking on this day to get going. I think it's okay to give the Netjeru left over offerings, especially if you made the thing for an offering in the first place. I didn't have time, energy, or the space in my stomach to bake a cake for the Netjeru each day, so it worked for the first day.
Honey Cake - I used this recipe, I've made it before and I like it! I didn't put in the orange zest or the almonds because I just wanted the pure honey cake. It's a bit plain, but it feel traditional and I like that.
Bread - This recipe is the one that I used. I've made breads before, but I have a hard time with yeast and making sure it's not too dense, so I went simple. This recipe does require you to start the bread the day before.
Steak - used a small $5 sirloin steak from Kroger that was already prepared with bourbon. I used half for Wesir, cooked it as close to medium rare as I could get
Corn on the cob - used half a cob (and holy cow I didn't realize how hard they are to cut.) Boiled the cob, put butter, chili powder, salt and pepper on it
Beer - I used Blue Moon!
I also danced this day as offering to all of the gods and to get the festival going!
Day Two - Heru-Wer
Honey Cake
Bread and butter
Steak - used the other half!
Corn - used the other half, this time I fried it in the steak grease and added salt and pepper
Beer - Blue Moon again!
Day Three - Sutekh
Honey Cake
Bread and butter
100% Kosher beef hot dog - fried. I offered this to Sutekh with the additional portion of using it as an execration too. It just felt right to me, I'm not sure if it would work for everyone to do this. I made sure I had a Kosher hot dog because then I knew for a fact it wouldn't have any ham. I fried it over the stovetop.
Brussel sprouts, garlic and butter - Got this recipe from another pagan at work! Used roasted garlic (store bought), mashed it, and smeared it over chopped brussel sprouts. Then, I fried it in a pan with butter, salt and pepper.
Beer - Blue Moon
Day Four - Aset
This was the day I had friends over to do execration rituals, so I cooked a great deal more food.
Honey cake
Bread and butter
Thin sliced steaks - Worcestershire sauce, olive oil, salt and pepper for seasoning. I made the mixture in a small glass bowl using however my heart told me to. Then, spread it over the steaks and waited about two hours before I cooked them.
Roasted veggies - For this recipe, you can literally use any veggies you like. I suggest at least using onions, carrots, and squash. I went crazy; onions, carrots, yellow squash, zucchini, sweet potato, russet potato, brussel sprouts, and garlic. Place all chopped vegetables in a bowl and mix with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, dijon mustard, salt, pepper, and garlic cloves. Then you bake at 400 F until everything is nice and crispy. If you're using potatoes, I suggest boiling them for a bit before roasting them with the other veggies to make sure they get soft
Brie cheese - paired with pita chips, wheat thins, strawberries, blackberries, tomatoes and bell peppers.
Wine - did a Moscato and a sweet red, but that's only because of my personal tastes
Day Five - Nebthet
Honey cake
Bread and butter
Wine - this time I used a merlot
By the time that Nebthet's day came, I was pretty tired. I felt like it was a more introspective day and I did not eat as much, so the list of offerings is smaller. I did dance as well to thank the gods and to close the holiday.
#kemetic paganism#rep wonpet#rep wonpet 2023#some recipes#this did require a lot of energy#i felt so drained at the end#but im happy i did it!
1 note
·
View note
Note
Hiii!! I just read lies omissions and false truths on ao3, it was one of my favorite spn fics I’ve ever read!! It was so emotionally devastating but it was so cathartic. Are you thinking of ever doing b another chapter?
hi!! i'm so glad you liked it! man i haven't thought about OLAFT in ages, i really liked working on it when I was in my massive spn phase, and it was so much fun to bring all the characters to the brink of their emotional endurance.
Lol, In my original plan for it, I was going to do a lot more with michael and have them do this whole war on earth for heaven thing, but i grew kind of tired of it toward the end and decided that I would cut the fic short with one final chapter to wrap things up I did have and then...did not lol. I have like half of it in a doc somewhere in multiple pieces, but I just didn't get around to finishing.
Oh man. Yeah. I was also going to do sam and cas's pov in a one-shot for everything too, because after that point their pov wouldn't spoil everything. This project was massive in my heart. XD
It got super draining eventually, because I was working on so much at the time and it felt like my attention was split between seventeen different things. I've been working mainly on my original series for the last year or so, which has sucked up a lot of my time and energy.
Honestly, this was such a sweet ask to get and so unexpected that I will go look at the doc for you. I make no promises, but I'll see where I got to and if I feel like a *checks notes* almost three year hiatus is enough for me to feel like i've got enough distance to pick it back up again and enjoy it.
but for now *opens coat like a pocket watch dealer* hey buddy, you wanna preview of what would have been the next chapter?
#nice anons#seriously made my life to get this#getting love and support on old projects is so sweet#i really love it when people want to get updates on fics i think no one cared about#like genuinely when i put this down in 2022 i figured that no one cared and it was fine it wasn't my most popular fic anyways#like my mutual who was the most supportive about it and was constantly poking me for updates and brainstorming with me stopped talking to m#and toward the end i was mostly writing it for them#so i just felt the desire to keep going drain out of me#but it's so sweet to know that it is important to you and an update is wanted still despite it being 2 and a half years#OLAFT
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Recent images I suppose ~
#First one is THE LONG series of GEESE that fly by!!! my aforementioned friends... Or I think I referenced them in tags of some post#days ago. and how I love watching them. See how many there are? And multiple of these will go by. It's like hundreds of them.#Then just the sky because I love the sky. My hair looking ridiculous as it always does when I brush it out of the four big braids I always#keep it in to keep it out of the way lol. I just find it silly how small it can be all braided up and then as soon as it is Released and#combed then it poofs into some sort of swamp dwelling wizard style.#Then... a daily word count... have been so busy the past week that I sadly haven't written much but I'm WORKING on it. Still on the blasted#'odd jobs' tasks sections which were SUPPOSED to be very quick and short. but.. alas.. Though I am on basically the last one. You go work#for one of the enchanting specialists in the city (very important in society since a majority of people cannot do that type of magic) and#basically he just works so much he has no time for a social life so he hires random people to sit with him in the afternoons doing menial#tasks. You show up thinking you'll help with some Important Job or something but hes just like 'no... peel this apple for me.. :)' lol#Edit note: arrgh just had to fish a slippery avocado pit out of a narrow garbage disposal drain with a chopstick. felt like some#sort of taskmaster challenge or something.. gods... I know some people just reach into them. I guess maybe#my hand would fit?? but... erm... scary. what about Sharp Things in there or something.. also Sludge of some sort perhaps.#ANWYAY.. interruption... I got up to go to the kitchen in the middle of typing my tags... lol..#Next image is SLEEPING boye.. And then PIGEONS!!!!!!!!!! my beloveds...#Oh then the giant evil hole in my bathroom ceiling which is STILL not fixed and the repair people still have to come back again.. BUT they#did have this terrible industrial dehumidifier thing they put in the bathroom and just left here for like 5 days and it was like a noisy#hairdryer going at all times and raised the heat in the bathroom from 65F to 76F in like two hours so.. I'm glad at least at their#last arrival they've finally taken it away.... the Noise Beast... silence in my house at last...#though I am still plagued by Mysterious Hole.. the plastic wrap rustles sometimes when I'm in there.... go away...#Ah. Then a delightful little lemon poppyseed muffin someone didn't want and then gave to me. Which was interesting since I haven't#had one in soooo long even though its like a very Classic Flavor.. I do quite like them though now that I've had one again. :0c#Lastly.. mushrooms. I think it's the mushroom season here. Everywhere you go outside there's some new manner of fungus#having popped up from nowhere. I like the variety of all their little shapes. These in particular have an interesting wispy curled layers#sort of look to them. Almost like a shaggy hairstyle that's curled up at the ends or something. They seem neat to draw perhaps.#Okay.. that is all.. I still have literally like 2 costumes and 12 outfits and I think 1 sculpture? to post.. but I am so busy this is#what I can manage for now I suppose lol... quick pictures that don't really take any sorting or cropping or editing lol#photo diary
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
tfw i have $948cad and rent is $980 AND MY PLACE IS A WRECK
#lay text#i'm okay i'm fine i'm chill i'm SO RELAXED#it's due on the 1st and i'm applying to freelancer & upwork jobs like a madwoman like i've been working on stuff all day everyday#and trying to sell so much stuff on facebook#including things i rly like but i just have to :']#c'est la vie!!!!!!!!!!!!! capitalism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#disability aid DOES NOT GIVE ME NEARLY ENOUGH#crying wailing slamming my head on my pillow etc etc#i really really hope things work out#i really hope my stupid flaky client will ACTUALLY PAY ME FOR THE WORK I DID AGES AGO............#she was on holidays and i bet you a billion dollars she'll blame it on her dumb client again. i mean i still rly like this woman#and she pays pretty decently-ish#but holy shit#earlier i got super discouraged and felt so crushed#but at least i did a bunch of shit today and i have to let myself feel proud of that much at least. it's so much work. it never ends#all i want to do is focus on my writing/youtube/activism stuff#but i have to keep doing dumb shit i don't care about#and my apartment is a mess :((#i spent all day working on marketing my services on freelancing sites etc and i'm so drained but i have to vaccuum and do my dumb dishes#and i wanna game w my friends later but my brain is fried#january will most likely be rly rough hahaaaa i guess i'll dig myself deeper into credit card debt to pay rent and after that uh ???????#who knows#just keep working hard begging ppl to hire me#and um. pray to the goddess or smth. i did not expect so many extra costs in december and i kinda did this to myself#i need to not bully myself too much ugh#i want to work on the lay & the gyns projects too#but idk how much time i'll be able to dedicate#it's not like i'm not trying hard or working hard to benefit society or whatever!!!!! i spent all my time focusing on activism & writing et#but somehow it's just considered not enough#i'm rly hopeful i can get a grant for the lay & the gyns business since we'll do marketing for sapphic businesses/freelancers
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finally watched the final season of the Umbrella Academy. Gotta say, I don't think I have ever felt this betrayed by a series before.
#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#disclaimer: just my opinion#I didn't watch game of thrones but now I know what fans must have felt like during that finale#it started out so well#but then it went down the drain#I like the idea of the plot#and I think it's mostly well executed#it just needed more time#and a few more rewrites#it felt like the writers didn't bother to rewatch their own show#like#why does Luther have the ape body when that was never part of his power#why does Allison completely forget that she can rumor people#why did they decide to include a love story between a woman and a guy 15 years her junior?#technically it's fine because they are both of age or something like that#but why?#It's just so out of character for Five#and him abandoning his siblings during the apocalypse to mope about it is just so wrong#also also#they can remove the marigold from their bodies#why didn't they just do that instead of sacrificing themselves#there also are still a bunch of other children left that were affected by the marigold what about them?#The visual effects also visibly got worse as the season went on#like the ending is sad for sure but I couldn't take it seriously#I'll assume the show ended with season 3#because seriously#what the actual fuck was this?
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I get reminded again why I do things less
#I wanted to make gifs so badly for us the series especially also some moots wished it from me#but yesterday I had a tooth ache throughout the day which never really went away#I went to a birthday but needed to come early because it was insufferable the pain. I took 1000mg painkillers and went to bed#which woke me up 1 1/2 h later despite the high dosage. I waited for three hours with pain which went up to my ear already#anyway waited for three hours to finally go to the dental clinic and (no) surprise they needed to remove my inflamed tooth#also one thing to know about me. I hate dentists and I’m getting anxiety attacks mixed with ugly cries breakdowns when I’m there which#also drains a lot of my energy and I didn’t had much left anyway#I didn’t really slept. came home felt great due to the anesthesia and wanted to make some gifs#but then as soon as I worked on some the anesthesia started to wear off and I felt a pain again and#I really thought it’s not worth it to risk my health only for some notes on tumblr. so yeah ended up deleting all my files of us#ate something to take some ibu and went to sleep. it was a much needed sleep#I’m still sleepy but the pain is gone and maybe I’ll pick it up again to start from scratch to make gifs for us :)#zey rants
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ted 😭
Season 1: We see more-than-a-glimmer of the hidden depths and pain, but his story is one of connecting, exploring, forgiving, and committing to a new place and to new people
Season 2: Ted's anxiety disorder forces him to take stock of his past, and he has to turn inward to very painfully connect, explore, forgive, and commit to himself
Season 3: Ted can no longer separate his life in London from the choice to be away from his son, and it weighs him down, detaches him, drains him. He makes the right choice; there is happiness; it's intentionally and unequivocally a sad ending. All the characters' happy endings are suspended in amber (even as we do get the mercy of understanding how they might live them)
#how did this finale both make me want the s4 we'll never get#and kind of want the s4 we vaguely might get although not for a long time considering the studio bullshit and the strike and also...#...the fact that i believe them when they say they don't know if they will want to make more#the unfinished business is making me insane#the more i think about all the different threads that tied up#the more they actually feel frayed and untied#in a way that makes for a satisfying ending to a novel i think#and as i sit with it i may feel differently#but it just felt so obvious to me that this story was about a fatherhood guilt energy drain overtaking a person#AND THAT IS VALID AND HE NEEDED TO LISTEN TO THAT INNER...DRAIN? BUT IT IS JUST SAD#ted lasso#ted lasso s3 spoilers#ted lasso 3x12#hot dork club#meta by me#ted lasso meta
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
i miss him so much :(((
(tw for implied grooming/csa in the tags)
#i should probably start calling myself trisgro0med now lolll#i just didn't expect it to end like that T^T#and like he's right there. i could text him.#we used yo text all the time it feels so weird not having talked to him for a while :(#and likee I've found some random guy to lovebomb me but fuck it's really not the same#like i miss him specifically#it just felt so different with him#like usually socialising with people kinda drains me especially recently with my poorer mental health#so after fun socialising i eithwr felt the same as usual or i often had a mood drop#but calling him always made my overall mood better for the next two days or so?#it was fucking incredible. i never felt this way about anyone. he was my world#(i really made the transition from hypersexual to hyperromantic lmao)#and like objectively i know what he did was wrong. even if what was with me wasn't bad the shit with his niece def was#but i don't want him to face any consequences. i definitely don't want him to change for the better (rationally i do but emotionally not yk#also while yeag it probably wasn't healthy for me#now without him tying me down I've dived headfirst back into bad habits#and that stuff makes me feel worse than our relationship did#minus for the few really bad lows i guess#i just want him back AAAAAAAA#and god he like apologised and shit#i don't want his apologies. i want him.#anyhow yah I'm in a new era XD#transgroomed but with him specifically lmao#nice reminder that being transgroomed is mostly a bad thing for me qwq#silly's ventposting
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)
#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise#guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice#(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD#okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with#shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a#simple question#and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people#but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny#(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip#so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me#then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it#like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you#i wanted to cry so bad then#ugh i hate it#like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem#this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes#and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy#but its still so frustrating#we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday#then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home#bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends#rant
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
we’re so not back
#i do not have a good feeling about the test i just took#idk why it didnt give me a mark im just not feeling good#felt good the whole time then i hit finish and every good emotion was drained from my body 👍#then i come home and the vibes are so bad and will continue to be bad so that’s awesome good way to end the day
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
You're more amazing than dreams
Nerfed signposts!
#some of them were really simple nerfs like Seeker of Power only draining once instead of for each attacking modified creature#and on the other end Bestower of Wisdom got so thoroughly reworked it needed a new name#also i reworked Twilight Pegasus right now; my original nerf had it give flying to a creature with lesser power when it attacked#but that would be punishing you for buffing your valiant creatures#and also some valiant abilities buff power which would make the pegasus' ability fizzle#some of these were really bullshit like Awoken Ingenuity killing an opponent's creature and then drawing free cards when it attacks#absurd card advantage machine#Violent Blacksmith maybe wasn't too strong but the mana adding ability felt more green than red#Mutant Bodybuilder giving free stats was pretty strong so now you have to pay mana and it can only buff itself#Faith Given Form gave too many free stats and was an angel without flying so i gave it conditional flying/vigilance#Mutator's Masterpiece had a lot of text so i cut the 2nd ability and increased the cost & base stats to make it more of a late-game card#i also just reworked it right now; it used to draw a card when the 3rd counter was put on it#but even aside from power concerns that's just not necessary. keep it more focused#i think part of why i made the cards more complex is because i felt the need to justify them being multicolor#but i've noticed that's not always necessary#for example Kraum Violent Cacophony doesn't do anything remotely red#anyway i just adjusted Twilight Pegasus again. i had it give a flying counter to target creature when it dies but i cut it#it's enough for it to just be a good cheap flier that gets bigger#i wanted it to also have a way to trigger valiant but nah there's plenty of targeting effects in the set#it's fine for it to just be a good valiant creature
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move
Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)
Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back
...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet
#legit; as small as it is it gives me a hint at the direction things will head and that costco will get more and more anti consumer#and I'm in minutes going from an 'I love costco; it's how I afford to eat; go get a cheap pizza'#to 'you know costco is kinda frustrating and annoying and I don't trust their ceo... I'm not sure if it's worth your time and money'#like look back and; tumblr search willing; you'll find posts of me singing costco's praises; literal free advertising#cause while it's not right for everyone; man is it so much cheaper than places like walmart#but... I legit don't know if I can recommend it anymore#for one thing; when I signed up I just spotted the members desk; walked in the backdoor up to the desk; and gave them money#now... what? you gotta ask permission? I feel like there's a chilling effect on wanting to join... at least for my socially anxious ass#and again; I just whiff this as like when games companies add DRM that breaks the game... for people who actually pay for it#they're making me suffer a pain in the ass for no reason cause someone might not be giving them money#and now that person never will give them money... and frankly... if they don't pay the membership but spend $500 how much did you lose?#but like I said; I feel it in the air; that costco will start doing more and more anti consumer stuff#...do I think it's a good idea to join up when they're gonna slowly start turning this corner?#I mentioned that quote by the founder about killing them if they raise the price of the hotdog#but... the fact the founder felt the need to say that to begin with told me something#kinda gotten the impression that the ceo is greedy as hell and wants to drain the consumer (so... a normal ceo)#and this just smacks of netflix/disney#oh... did you hear about disney killing someone with a food allergy despite being told about it multiple times like when the dish arrived?#and now disney is trying to forced arbitrate cause they had a disney+ trial in 2019#you hear about that one? cause that's a real news story; I'll find you an article if you don't believe it#anyway; this smacks of cracking down on password sharing to make up for hypothetical lost revenue#and let me tell you... if I could switch to pirating my groceries I would; I would download eggs#so this doesn't change costco fundamentally; but it does make it feel more hostile and like it doesn't trust me#it makes things feel more adversarial instead of like a partnership where they get me good prices on good things and I give money#and I just wouldn't be surprised if they start doing more things I don't like#things that make things worse... things like raising prices to increase their profit#...makes me want to... work on figuring out how to make everything myself since no company is trustworthy#they'll all turn on you in the end; the moment the wrong person takes charge they'll start to metastasis#towards the cancer of infinite profits#not saying don't go to costco... I'm saying don't get attached if you do; I think they're ready to do what every company does these days
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m someone who sees things in like constant shades of grey and i quite often try to see the light side of things and i think i’m constantly reminded of all the great stuff i have in my life. also i am full of gratitude all the time and also every time something bad happens to me i’m like yknow what this makes sense🫶 all these bad things suck but they lead to so many amazing things i’m hyper aware of the butterfly effect. so uhm i’m a pretty resilient person if i do say so myself. so today when i came to the realization of OH. i’m having a BAD YEAR!
#literally got picked on by a prof in december that like momentarily zapped all my curiosity for everything academic#family stuff that actually makes me wanna die so bad#a couple ocd episodes that made me go insane#severely boring winter semester#my cat got sick and i drained my entire savings account#BROKE AS SHIT#also the fucking emotional stress of having my new cat get critically ill and almost dying#insane arguments with my mom realizing i don’t feel comfortable in my home <4#down bad severely down bad for a man#non stop work my life is non stop deadlines#two back to back courses that like took over my entire summer didn’t get a break at all#didn’t get the internship i wanted more than life itself#(which ended up being a positive but still)#underemployed up until three weeks ago#MENTALLY ILL!!! STILL#constant chronic pain and nausea that is unexplained#lost enough weight to see my ribs cause i couldn’t fucking eat#all my friends gone this summer#just feel blue so often#so many amazing things happened this year and i am excited and i still love life#but damn i feel beaten down like a dog#oh and did i mention the ongoing stress of watching your people get genocided through the internet :)#the absolute erosion of identity that like you already felt so disconnected from#as you watch the place you yearn for more than anything get completely nuked off the earth :)#and actually your moms homeland isn’t enough they need to start bombing your dads homeland too ;)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
re: that poll i rb'd earlier. i've only ever been in one relationship which really just fizzled out but in hindsight i think that her just fully vanishing for a couple of months without any contact while i saw her constantly upload photos of her new college life with new friends in social media every day Really hurt me, and having to pretend that it didn't and that i could just shrug that off and tell her that it was okay was the thing that definitely killed that feeling in me
#and also in hindsight. i'll never know if she actually did care or if she was just trying to hide for whatever reason#but i think that looking back. we were both teenagers desperate for someone's kindness#which is ultimately a bad loop to find yourself in. because it leads to both of you just bottling things up instead of being real#or just playing A Role which is draining#and as a result now i don't even know the way that she felt either.#so while i considered that to be entirely my fault and kicked myself down for somehow losing that feeling that was once there#thinking about it now. realistically. it happened because of a number of reasons and not limited to her also being at fault on some level#because we were both young and dumb ultimately.#needless to say i ended up running away from her and feeling awful about it for years ✌️ my signature move#but thinking about it now. it was probably ok and not something i should hate myself for.#a learning experience if anything.#but it is kind of funny how like. i would have been completely justified in feeling hurt by her#and i just Did Not Think I Was Allowed To so little old desperate me just took it and pretended everything was good :)#because not doing so would have made me a bad person#and then i still saw myself as a bad person lmao.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m seeing relatives in a few days and they have a tendency to ask if i’ve made any new friends because i’ve moved to a new city but also i’m bad at socialising in general and i’m trying to figure out how to tell them that my best friend in the new city is a cat
#he’s my beautiful boy#he has brought me more joy than i have felt in weeks#i don’t want to rush into anything but if the person who wants to adopt him isn’t able to then. i am looking actively#my building doesn’t allow animals but i’d see what i could do because having a motivation to get out of bed is nice#usually it’s class or work as my motivation but that is making me burn out faster than a match lit at both ends so#earl might be my saving grace here#my mum is like ‘you’ll meet people who you’re comfortable with you just have to take the step to meet people’ and like. yeah true#but i also have the social battery of a flea and am just not good at socialising in general unless it’s with authority figures#but Earl is nice. hanging out with him i mean#his body language means he communicates boundaries easily and he loves just sitting and hanging out and there’s no pressure to say the right#thing or have the right body language or facial expression or worry about emoting correctly#other than keeping my body relaxed and slow blinking at him when he looks at me#(he’s started slow blinking back and i’m so excited)#i don’t have to do anything else#he’s my little buddy#i am just incredibly burnt out and don’t really have human friends here that don’t take my energy to hang out with#(like i have friends in the building but they like to drop a lot of their shit on me and we’re not close so i especially can’t handle it)#so having a companion who doesn’t drain my spoons to be around is really nice#did i cry over this today? yes.#earl the grey
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
so uh s2 of ES huh! Definitely a season that dropped! Definitely something that exists! Definitely not a s2 that left me going
im sorry but i'm like. such a hater now. dont interact. im taking Night/shade in the divorce and NO ONE ELSE CAN EVER TOUCH THEIR CHARACTER AGAIN UNTIL YOU LEARN TO WRITE A GOOD STORY!!!!!!!!!! NEVER LOVE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! CALL ME BACK WHEN MY B ITCH OF A HUSBAND PR 0WL SHOWS UP
#going through it#snaily blabber#LISTEN I DIDNT HAVE. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.#my only expectation was 's1 but maybe less of a budget' AND IT STILL GOT WORSE#I H ATE IT HERE#the only moment i felt any joy was 1) b rea kdown's stupid son moment and 2) c0s mos showing up and leaving for good#everything else drained my life force#Grim my dearest showed up for 5 seconds and it brought me nothing but misery. they didnt even made him talk. they couldnt afford him.#spoilers#they even made Op so... grumpy... HE WASNT EVEN GRUMPY IN S1. HE WAS SO SILLY DAD CODED. AND SOFT. WHAT HAPPENED I HATE IT HE R E#what even happened to m egaop's cute banter... absolutely nonexistent... gone for good...#if i continue ranting i will never end. just know. that i am deeply wounded.#fuck it it's going in the tag#tf earthspark
6 notes
·
View notes