#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me

[my-thirteenth-reason]

kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)

[wintergrofyuri]

"(blank) hates laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

shuro is just as awkward as laios and it is made So clear he considers him a friend and likes him. he defends him when the canaries start talking shit and actively readies himself to physically fight them so they dont get to him.

namari also likes laios. she respects him as a leader and also defends him and readies to fight the canaries.

ive not actually seen anyone claim izutsumi hates laios, but a lot of ppl Are weird abt them. izutsumi and laios' relationship was rocky at the beginning. he struggled to figure out how to interact with her. but by the end, she actively seeks him out to talk with during the lead up to the feast. she hides behind him when falin wakes up. she has already realized shecan do what she wants and does not need to stick around, yet she does. she sleeps near him on the windowsill, waiting with him and marcille for falin to wake up. she has accepted him as part of her life and wants to keep him in it.

marcille does not hate laios. let me say this again.

Marcille Donato Does Not Hate Laios Touden.

marcille Loves him. in a platonic, familial sense. laios returns this just as readily. she yells at him. she whacks him. she tells him whats on her mind. she uses healing magic to ease his pain during the parasite fiasco. she reattaches his leg when he loses it. she teaches him magic. she lays her head on his corpse and cries before reviving him. she launches herself at him two times, when the canaries interrogate them and when he talks her down in the tower. he is a comforting presence to her. she trusts him, she cares about him, she worries about him, she imagines him as a big fluffy dog that loves and protects her. laios is her rock when falin is taken from them time and time again. and she tries to be his as well. she whole-heartedly, unconditionally, loves and trusts laios.

chilchuck does not hate laios. laios pays him his rates, no questions asked. laios trusts and respects chilchuck's job as a lockpick. laios does not see him as a child (at least, i cant think of an instance where he does so). chilchuck states, outright, he sees him as a friend and doesnt want to see him hurt. he actively worries about him as the falin situation gets worse. chilchuck respects laios. he shows almost 0 hesitation in helping get falin back, nor eating her by the end. he does not think of leaving him once, until he realizes he could lose him. chilchuck is cowardly with emotions and prefers to bottle things, so his first instinct was to bolt. he was angry because he was scared of watching someone he cares about destroy himself. laios is his Friend.

and holy shit. holy Fucking shit. kabru DOES NOT hate laios. kabru has the rockiest start known to man with him, and he Still helps him by occupying the canaries. he warns him about them. he hides the black magic from them just as shuro does. his whole Thing is trusting laios despite himself. kabru has his own baggage regarding other people, just like laios, yet he tries so hard to believe and trust this man. he Wants to. kabru is not very hopeful, but laios makes him Want to be. he states like 3 times he wants to be close to him and sees him as a friend. he stays through the entire feast!! the man who hates monsters, whose biggest trigger is monsters, actively, consciously, Willingly stayed through the entire monster meat feast. all to help his friend get his sister back. he could've left!! the feast was like an entire week!! yet he was there for every single day. he was one of the closest people to the door when falin awoke!! after reuniting with her brother, her friends, the people who knew her the most (plus senshi and izutsumi), the first person she greets is kabru!! he wants to be close to laios, he likes laios, laios is his friend and he cares for him, he wants to meet his sister!!! kabru fucking stays on the island with him as one of his closest, most trusted advisors when he becomes king!!!!! he wants to help him succeed!!!! he wants him to be happy!!!! laios is his friend!!!!!!!!

im just. people like laios!! laios is a nice guy! he is friendly and cares about people! he is weird, he doesn't understand most social cues, he oversteps boundaries, but they stay beside him, because they like him and he is their friend. he is their friend!!!!! friendship is not all sunshine and rainbows, relationships in general are not sunshine and rainbows. you will upset people, people will upset you, you will get into arguments, things will happen, but at the end of the day, the people close to you like you! they love you! they care for you! they want to work it out and get through it because they love you, but they will feel those emotions first! human relationships are complex and messy and life is complicated. even shows for toddlers know this.

if you truly believe any of these characters hate laios you are worse than a toddler. watch some fucking oobi or something. god. fuck.

take this

thanks

[formulawolff]

✧˖° a day in the life ✧˖°

pairing: female!driver x toto wolff

summary: as the season progresses, you decide to share some of your favorite snapshots to your instagram. however, as you post more and more photos, the fans are beginning to really starting to wonder who that mystery man may be.

a/n: these posts are set between chapters vii, viii, and ix of alkaline! they aren’t really super time specific. they’re just around the time golden girl was in brackley, her travels through england, and of course, the races!

liked by williamsracing, alex_albon, lilymhe, and 800,004 others!

goldengirl: a day in the life :p

view 2,082 comments

lilymhe: oh my gosh!!! it’s me!!! ilysm!! 🥹

goldengirl: ofc!!! my bestie <3 ily more!!

goldengirlforever: these are so cute! 🤍

kikiayy: mother is mothering with the photo dumps lately

f1fanboy: i can feel her aura through the screen

alex_albon: who’s that cutie in the second photo? i need her number ASAP‼️

goldengirl: sorry but she doesn’t date nerds 🤓

alex_albon: if you keep bullying me, i’m going to go straight to james! i am not NOT messing around‼️👹😤

williamsracing: what’s 4 + 4? cause you ATE that! 💅🏻

f1fangirly: PLS WILLIAMS WHAT IS THIS!!?

goldengirlforever: i’m literally crying rn 😭 wtf

goldengirlstan: they really slayed with that comment though

view more replies

lewishamilton: why does it look like you’re in twilight in the first pic lol

mercedesgirly0420: ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

hastalavistababy: WHAT ON—

justaninchident: this is the weirdest crossover episode ever

view more replies

landonorris: can u send me the editing app u use you ur pics

goldengirl: idk can you use proper grammar first?

landonorris: can YOU send me the editing app that YOU use for YOUR photos? please and thank you mommy 🥺

landonorrisfan8383: MOMMY⁉️ 😳 HELLO⁉️

f1ismylife: WAIT WHAT IF LANDO IS THE MYSTERY MAN SHE HAS BEEN POSTING—

mclarengirly: OH MY GOD YOU COULD BE RIGHT!

goldengirl: ahahaha no. that’s not my man. it’s just an inside joke. nothing more, i promise :p

view more replies

liked by lilymhe, mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, and 736,283 others

goldengirl: recent travels ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

view 4,763 comments

lilymhe: you’re so cute i’m gonna throw up

goldengirl: i WISH a certain someone would flirt with me the way you do 😫

alex_albon: i’m still waiting on meeting the day you bring this mystery man to the paddock. 🤨

goldengirl: i will one day!

mercedesamgf1: hey! that looks familiar! 😎

goldengirl: thank you for showing me around! i had a great time! :)

hastalavistababy: THIS IS GETTING WEIRD.

goldengirlforever: PLEASE DON’T TELL US YOU’RE SIGNING WITH MERCEDES NEXT SEASON.

view more replies

lewishamilton: why didn’t you tell me you were in brackley? ��

goldengirl: because it was for business and not hanging out 🙄🤚🏻

mercedesfan737: BUSINESS?

ilovef1: this is getting insane. where is drive to survive when you need them? 😩 i hope they’re covering this for the upcoming season

formulaonefan4life: wdym business? this is fishy af.

view more replies

goldengirl: guys…. i literally had a meeting with some sponsors in london & then i decided to take a trip to brackley to see the mercedes hq & campus. just because i drive for williams doesn’t mean that i can’t just go look at the place 😭

totosgirl73738: it’s just a bit sketch because toto was in brackley the same time you were.

justaninchident: @totosgirl73728 girl… that man owns 33% of the company.. i think he works there.

totoswife1988: she’s just not making herself look good rn with all the affair rumors going around. that’s all. going out of her way to brackley to just “see” the mercedes is weird.

justaninchident: speculating about someone’s personal life is weird. 🥱

view more replies

landonorris: was the mercedes campus cool at least? sorry ppl are being nosy af

goldengirl: yeah! i got to meet a ton of their staff & saw a lot of behind the scenes stuff! come with me next time. we can try fish and chips!

landonorris: omg!! the boys and golden girl take a field trip!! we can visit george and eat beans on toast!

view more replies

alexandrasaintmleux: where can i fill out the application to be you? is there like a tutorial or something i can follow?

goldengirl: brb i’ll post one to tik tok right now! 🤭

[psalacanthea]

WiP Whenever

Hi someone reminded me about my post-canon Hawke x Varric fic and I dug it up to read it and pulled this out a little ways ahead in the story! It's the first time Varric's perspective shows up in the story, and it's spoilery, so I will put it under a cut.

I haven't shared any fic lately so I wanted to share something. Esp with ppl returning to their Varric love again at last <3

Whatever Varric had been expecting, it wasn’t what he’d gotten.

That was Hawke.  

He’d long since come to grips with her idiosyncrasies, like Fenris and Anders had, and didn’t mind the constant disregard of anything resembling privacy or personal distance.  The first night she’d crawled into his bed over fourteen years ago had been weird.  But he’d gotten used to it, and so had everyone else.  They used to call it her ‘Ferelden habits’ behind her back.

You know the old joke about how Ferelden people and their dogs, and how hard it was to tell the difference?

Well, it was true, but after about ten years of Hawke invading his space it’d become, in a lot of ways, their space.  A place they both belonged.  It sounded sentimental but it wasn’t.  Just a fact of life, one of those ways Naomi clawed her way into your life and refused to leave.

But something had changed that night when he’d been stewing in his head again over not being able to ignore the fact that being around her made him miserable but being away from her was worse.  She’d offered him a massage.  It was something they’d done a thousand times before.  Both of them had old scars from fights they’d been through together and they liked each others’ technique; it just made sense.  Except her hands were on his skin and that somehow undid the knot in his brain, too.

That night, tipsy and warm on the rug in front of the fire, she’d hugged him, held him.  A touch so simple and ordinary for Nami, but it was like a key opening the lock holding everything at bay in his mind.  It wasn’t just ordinary, expected– just Hawke being Hawke.  It was more.  His space had never stopped being theirs, but somehow her dying had shaken something loose he didn’t even know was inside him, making him finally able to see and feel things he was pushing aside.

Hawke died.  In his head, he always known it.  She’d died, and she was gone, and deep down he’d really believed that.

Varric had been mourning something he didn’t even know was there until that moment.

Nami hugged him, and her lips had been on his bare shoulder, kissing a scar she’d panicked over because she hadn’t been there when he’d gotten it.  Trapped in sudden knowledge, and the pain in it, he’d pushed her away.  There wasn’t any other choice.  How…

How did you tell your best friend that not only did you love her, but that love had been buried until the moment she’d died?  That you didn’t know when you’d started loving her and you didn’t think you knew how to stop?  What words would actually explain that completely bizarre feeling?  Was it even worth it now to say anything, to risk it when she was safe, home, alive?

Except she wasn’t safe.

Of course she wasn’t.  He couldn’t protect Nami, he couldn’t protect Kirkwall, he couldn’t protect a single one of his damn friends, not even that…not even that stubborn bastard Solas.  All those failures just kept adding up, and Hawke understood that more than anyone– but he didn’t want to tell her.

He was such an idiot.

Not loving her until she died.  Not mourning her until she was alive again.  What was next?  She’d fall in love with someone else and he’d be watching them get married and he’d be standing there watching?  Again?

Shit.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

[solar-halos]

i finished the umbrella academy s4. i am not amused. here are my thoughts (looong post incoming)

1. i don’t remember diego being so fucking annoying. actually that’s a lie he’s always been annoying but since he was hot i let it slide but now that he’s not treating lila right (how do u fumble a baddie THAT HARD) i think he should participate in the shut the fuck up challenge

2. “their uncle will pick them up” HUH? like obviously this timeline is different but you’re telling me lila has uncles (and parents! or someone! she was talking to some elderly couple before the party!). what does that mean for the others… were their mothers still killed in this timeline or did klaus live out his little amish dream, even if he wasn’t around to experience it? ykwim? like did they show up to this timeline and someone was like “omg where did u wander off to? i was looking all over for u!” and then it turns out it’s their sibling/uncle/whatever in that timeline and they just have to be like ah yes. i surely do know who u are

3. what they did to lila and diego was criminal!!! “she said she couldn’t get pregnant while breast feeding. but she could” dramatic ass reveal for no fucking reason. like get over yourself diego

4. ok i know they prob couldn’t get rays actor to come back but what the fuck do u mean he walked out. and how can allison afford that nice house when all she’s doing is being in commercials nobody wants. our girl has a BEAMER. also i thought they weren’t supposed to have phones or anything like that so why does allison have a vape lollll. not complaining bc that scene was funny to me but why and how

5. ughhh they were tryna set up lila and five SO BAD in the beginning. and even then they still gave off intense sibling vibes

6. ok maybe im just too american but the gun imagery was kinda not it for me. like idk i think the bit with santa claus coming out shooting at everything was supposed to be funny but idkk i think im just too sensitive bc i was like mkkk whatever not funny. also i know luther has super strength but even in s1 he still got majorly injured when that chandelier fell on him but now he’s fucking indestructible apparently?? like getting shot at and stuff?? what???

7. ok but that grandma loading her old timey gun while she turned to the siblings like O.O was funny i’ll give them that

8. speaking of guns wtf siblings are killing EVERYONE. like ik they started the apocalypse and everything but idek just the way they did it was so weird. like less detached/guilty and more like… triumphant? satisfied? idk but it had a different tone than even s3, i remember in s2 it was such an intense ordeal when allison made those two european brothers kill each other but this time they straight up mass murdered a bunch of ppl in a small town and were like B). like ok. like allsion mutilated that guy in front of her DAUGHTER and it was just chill. major tonal shift

9. “you just had to one up me” 1) you just killed a bunch of ppl diego!! 2) that is NOT the lila and diego i know. the real lila and diego would have started making out nasty style the moment lila killed that guy w her laser eyes. also wtf were the point of the laser eyes. she used them like twice and then that was it

10. with that being said all that affair stuff and recovery and addiction and relapse was getting so heavy. which ik is the point and the umbrella academy has always been heavy but like holy shit u GOTTA pick a struggle. is lila gonna groom five or is klaus gonna give claire trauma cos u can’t have both

11. speaking of claire… “would it help to remind u that we were just as shitty at her age” no u fucking weren’t. u could have breathed at ur british alien father wrong and he would have made u do drills until u puked. don’t play rn

12. why did they not trust the audience to pick up on the fact ben spiked their drinks. like we did not need a full on FLASHBACK. or like to be fully immersed in that scene, a tiny little flashback would have done

13. ok but why is this season so scary. like that train station made me paranoid

14. i will never forgive them for what they did to my girl lila. she used to serve CUNT

15. that british lady alien annoyed the fuck outta me

16. WHERE was pogo. and grace. they needed to find a way to bring them back. maybe they could have transported to a universe where the apocalypse happened and now the world was getting ruled by a planet of [gunshots]

17. why the fuck was diego acting like jennifer and ben weren’t linked in some way when all of s3 they alluded to the jennifer incident every other scene. i get it was supppsed to be so obvious even to someone who has ONLY watched s4 that jennifer and ben were linked so it was just a case of diego being stupid BUT that doesn’t work when it’s already been established that they all know jennifer played a part in ben’s death. hence calling it the Jennifer Incident

18. “they tried to address that in later scenes” they failed. they didn’t know how ben died, fine. but they knew jennifer had something to do w it. i’m tired of scenes that poke fun at diego for being stupid. he’s not stupid—he’s cocky

19. okay no but this season was SO gory. like. whatever they have guns this is a revolution but the guts? the intestines?? they wanted to be stranger things sooo bad

20. no but we need to talk about that. the monster thingie at the end was so stranger things and the guns and the military and everything it was like we were back in s3 (or whenever we met the russians)

21. LOL but that scene where diego finds out about five and lila was lowkey funny. this season was so meta in general

22. speaking of the holidays… i sure did love watching everyone sing christmas carols and walk around in the snow when it was hot asf in real time

23. i do like how many parallels there were to s1. like w viktor and reggie, it was very viktor and leonard in s1. and klaus getting kidnapped. although i was kinda tired of klaus getting abducted and his siblings not giving a fuck. i thought there was supposed to be growth there

24. okayyy but ben and jennifer were cute SORRY. “let’s get married” that would have worked on me. however being rude to me while i was at work WOULDNT have worked on me so maybe yall are right maybe we didn’t need a love interest this season

25. i did NOT expect them to actually drag out lila and five’s love story. other than the age gap (no matter how ur looking at it) you already knew it was gonna be bad as soon as they had their first kiss. i hate those multiple little open mouthed kisses that are literally just ALL lip and spit like that’s fucking gross if ur gonna stick ur tongue in my mouth u better do it by the third little :O we got going on there. and then five was giving boy. like literal boy. and lila is a literal goddess but a goddess that’s well into her 20s and the contrast was so sharp it rlly was giving mom and her caucasian child. i mean that bit about lila viewing it as survival vs five actually clinging onto it showed their different levels of maturity, but since it’s never specified if five is still a 50 year old man or just aging normally, his reaction rlly was such a teenage boy thing. “i’m gonna kill him” man shut the fuck up

26. ok no bc we need to talk about this. i think fives actor is my age—maybe even a little bit older—but i don’t see how anyone over the age of 18 is supposed to find him attractive. like idk it’s weird in the show but even creepier irl cos lila’s actor had to have known him when he was still a minor. why did anyone at the umbrella academy think we wanted this

27. anyway not to make this about myself but when i was writing the odesta longfic there were a lot of lore inconsistencies as we kept going bc i forgot some of the details and was too lazy to go back and read it sometimes, and i think that’s what happened this season. the most notable detail is when klaus covered his ears while everyone was shooting at each other. i was expecting some sort of vietnam flashback but like no. he was just there being normal about it, all things considered

28. “ex-squeeze me?” it wasn’t funny when klaus said it in s1. and it wasn’t funny here

29. alright i think that’s really all i wanted to say about the season tbh… like idk diego and lila starting a family made sense i guess and i know they were falling out of love (even tho they would never do that…) but i didn’t rlly feel any of the love w the kids. like even when lila stepped off the train at the last min and her daughter was banging at the glass it looked more like she was like “oh no :(“ and then just started poking at the glass. i don’t even think it matters that she didn’t fully know what was going on—if you’re a child and ur mom steps away in an unfamiliar situation, you’re gonna start to freak. especially w everything else that was going on

30. ok this is such a small thing to harp on but they abused the fuck outta that time skip font. like i don’t think they ever used it that much before now

31. now let’s get into the ending. this is how i would fix it:

we can keep jennifer. whatever. that thing they added at the very last second about her having a particle that causes the end of the world was… whatever. like i get it. they needed a way to explain the end of the world and that was the thing they used and even if it was very late to introduce such a (admittedly confusing) bombshell, at least it fits in with what we already know about this universe’s rules. magic and particles and marigold and whatever. jennifer is fine.

tbh when jennifer started feeling sick i was honestly thinking that they were gonna go the surprise pregnancy route even though they weren’t even fuckinf hinting at that i just have no media literacy. i wouldn’t have minded that tbh, like the monster transformation made more sense but imagine if we did a twilight ripoff for a second, except that jennifer and ben were both equally protective of the killer baby growing outside of jennifer’s womb (or in her womb… whatever. point is there’s a baby). i don’t think this is a good idea—if anything i think this is a shit idea. but something that’s always been so prominent in tua are the moral implications of what they’re doing, like with everyone wanting to kill harlan in s3 instead of letting the entire world die, and with everything that happened with viktor in s1. there was the whole “i can’t kill my brother” bit, sure, but everyone kinda didn’t rlly seem too enthusiastic about it.

actually the baby addition is actually a shit idea. i’m just keeping that part of the rant in bc we need SOME sort of moral dilemma that isn’t just viktor arguing w hargreeves and then his siblings dropping in later with opinions that don’t even seem that strong. everyone needs to have a strong opinion on SOME sort of moral issue that we wanna introduce—that, in a perfect world, we’d be building up to throughout the season—and then yeah whatever there can be an epic fight scene

i don’t watch/read a lot of time travel stuff, but from what i gathered, the timeline can never be restored once it’s fucked with. there has to be consequences, like with any story. and tua did address that—they tried restoring the timeline thousands of times—but i think they shot themselves in the foot there. time travel with a (somewhat) happy ending is possible—there just has to be something to lose, and it has to be something that isn’t nonnegotiable. claire was nonnegotiable, which is why i think they stayed in s3’s timeline for as long as they did

point is, i think they should have gone back to 2019. i mean i don’t think anyone really wanted them to die. i made a joke in s3’s rant that i would just give up, but lucky for me, i am not a fictional character in tua, so the fact they just die in the last five mins and we’re supposed to be ok w that makes the last three seasons pointless. like, actually pointless. what was the message here? why is the ending of the show painted as some sort of utopia just bc we got rid of the siblings? and why is five okay with that? i think him being on board w dying could have been an interesting route to take if they showed his relationship w his siblings consistently deteriorating (both on screen AND off screen) but they only rlly managed to do that with diego, and it was for something fucking stupid

ANYWAY. bring those fools back to 2019, but don’t make them totally happy. just give them something that makes them all just stay put, like how allison has claire (doesn’t matter which timeline. it could be from the fucked up timeline. i don’t think the cleanse would happen bc of that bc claire is only one person and not an entire fucking organization like tua or an assassination like jfk. so hell. might as well throw harlan and sissy in there for viktor. that makes lila and diego’s motivation really easy for staying put, cos then they have their kids. klaus is klaus and no offense to him but i think hes just gonna roll w the cards he’s dealt without trying to fight back, for better or for worse. then ben can have jennifer and since they love each other idk they just stick around. then five’s motivation for staying is that his family is alive and none of them want to leave and that’s good enough for him bc that’s why he time traveled in the first place

again… i don’t think what i came up with is any good. i just think it’s better than them all dying at the last fuckin second. i think this show relied on a lot of haha random xd humor at the beginning and they tried to keep that intact here but everything got so serious that i think them all dying rlly did seem like the only way out but.. it’s not. they could go back to the way things are as long as there were consequences. it would suck, and none of them would be as happy as they could be, but they know that’s as happy as they’re gonna get, so whatever. like, if we were gonna take the suicide route, we might as well gone the time loop route and gone back from the very beginning when five blinks back to 2019. i think that rly would have driven home the “this all would have happened anyway” point way better than them just being like guess ill die :) bc ughhh. no they wouldn’t. also they wouldn’t let lila leave bc she still had marigold in her but… what about her and diego’s kids?? they’re half marigold, and claire is a quarter, so… what’s up with that?

[sualne]

.

today should be a good because im finally seeing my endocrinologist after a over a year and i should get my first hrt prescription and soon first tshot but i feel kind of doomed because my dad said if melanchon win the election he'll move out without me leaving me homeless and im worried about my siblings, one got a good job she loves and pays well and a hotel situation, she's much smarter and competent than i am so i think she should be able to handle it, other sibling just got her own place and will start moving soon, it's only for school so i don't what happens once that's done, i'm not even sure he plans on throwing them out actually, i think he loves them but the possibility worries me. i don't know what he'll do with their stuff since one will be away and all that, he's always threatening to throw away mine but i don't know how it'll work them, maybe they'll be completely fine actually.

this isn't out of nowhere either, he's been threatening to throw us out for years and to send me to an asylum/mental hospital since i was 15 so i know he's a bit strange like that. even if i went full time my job still wouldn't pay enough for me to get my own place so i've been looking for collocation around and maybe i could manage smth if i get some more hours of works, otherwise i'd have to live on less than 100-200€ a month with everything paid (no counting food). it took me 3 years to get this job so i really don't think it'll be possible for me to ever get another one, i don't have enough years to send resumes constantly that i even do it in my dreams, plus i've looked into it and all the job offers pay about as much anyway so it wouldn't change a thing. i can't move all the way to live at some family member's place because my gender clinic is here and i don't know often i'll have to go there, the back and forth could cost a bit on the long term and i know i can't restart the process from the beginning where they live because last i heard they closed the queues there because they were too many ppl and won't accept anymore. and again, im sure i could ever get another job.

i actually did have a job in the three years it took me before getting this one, i was a comic colorist and it paid nicely for 7h to 12h of work per week but nobody considered it a real job since it was art and done on a laptop/at home (plus it turned out it wasn't exactly legal, no fault of my boss, she was an independent student employing someone for the first time) so i was so happy when i finally found this one, it's a real job, nothing to do with art and you go outside but my family was already yelling at me about it before i'd even gotten it, my dad said "you have no self respect" and when i told my grandma she said "you can't do this your whole life" but i'd just signed my contract, i hadn't even started working yet, everyone was and is still acting like that's not a real job, that i need a real one and refuse to believe me when i tried to explain i genuinely love it because i help ppl, a lot of them are chronically ill or disabled so it make me happy to help them, they're my ppl and i feel like i'm actually useful but no one is happy for me, i don't understand. i don't think my body will be alright on the long term if i go full time and like i said im in the process of getting some long overdue diagnosis and hopefully help/treatments for a few health issues.

that's one thing too they act weird about, no one irl believe me when i say i'm losing my sight, i tried to explain it's been going on since i was at least 18 and now i can't see on the sides but they keep telling me it's nothing and not happening but also my fault? and everyone, not just my family keep saying things like "then you really need to learn how to drive while you still can" but i'm going blind so i can't drive and they won't understand that, it's so weird??

back to moving out, if i do somehow end up finding a place to live i don't have friends or anyone so i can't ask for help to move all my stuff (ive got a Lot of books), i don't want to abandon my things, i've bought most of them and they're actually mine so i don't want to have to loose them. i've no idea what to do and i'm kind of at lost, had a horrible night thinking about it when i'd been looking forward to today for months. it's so weird i might just loose everything now that im happy, if my siblings are safe then at least that's that, im reassured but i wanted to be happy for longer than just that, i actually want to live and all now and i've got projects i've been working on since october and they're nowhere near to be finished and i feel really bad that i might not be able to finish them because i know a few ppl where genuinely looking forward to it and i don't want to disappoint anyone.

it's weird also because dad's been buying new furniture so if he plans to move out that seems like a pointless thing to do because that'll be more stuff and trouble to transport and he's the one who's been pushing me to decorate my bedroom but then he keeps turning around and say he'll throw away my thing and me too, that i need to some activity like join a club but then say i don't own enough money to waste on useless things and should work more but get a real job first, he contradicts himself a lot so i've no idea what to do.

[kingsandbastardz]

I've reached episode 38 of MLC.

Cheng Yi's acting in the dungeon was impressive and the sequence it took for Li Lianhua to rescue Di Feisheng was super satisfying. So many micro expressions and subtle hints of his growing worry while he kept a rapid patter up to get information! While being starved/ denied water! LLH is great at multitasking!

Honestly, it was this episode that finally made me decide to watch the other dramas under this tragedy king's filmography. If I can battle my second-hand embarrassment to watch Ryan Cheng act out the role of a husky for longer than 5 seconds, surely I can watch Cheng Yi spit blood and die in misery 10x in a row.

Anyway thoughts:

While I enjoyed what I watched, instead of all this taking place in the palace, I wish the entirety was a rescue arc for DFS with the queen bug ending up in Shan Gudao's hands through other means, or uncontested and in his lair. Or maybe Jiao Liqiao had it all along! If only so we get more of the trio learning about each other and group stuff going on. They're the best when all 3 are together so DFS spending half the series away kinda puts a damper on that. And the emperor's arc seemed like a cop out. I'm aware of the ending before I even started watching so imo if they wanted a tragic ending, they absolutely could have nailed that home in several other ways. The tendon healing feels rushed bc they had less time to work with.

Fang Duobing what the hell kind of name for newly invented martial arts is that? You live and breathe heroic jianghu stories and you decide to go with a DFS style "sword", I mean, Mr Worrier's Swordplay? He do be worrying, though, so he's at least upfront about it.

If DFS and LLH ever decide to bump uglies, they would totally get distracted halfway through and go off to solve a mystery or something, wouldn't they? 💀 like DFS just randomly looks at the wall and being like ???? Why is it suddenly a different material and pattern? I need to see why it's so ugly. Also the fact that it's DFS doing this and not LLH. Xiao Shunyao says his intelligence is highly specialized to martial arts - but the guy is a natural investigator. He's just very tactile about it and prone to ripping things out of the wall or ground while checking it out. His instincts are spot on, though

I like how confused DFS was when LLH was like, "Come on JL totally told you the thing." DFS's expression screamed, "Why would I know? Did you not notice I've been doing my best to ignore her??"

I would have liked to see Wuyan deliver the salt to LLH just to see what else he does or doesn't tell him - I would also like to know when he received instructions to deliver the salt to LLH. Was it before or after DFS got paraded around and locked in the master bedroom?

DFS using grey wall or grey rock tactics to deal with JL. Ppl forced to live with narcissists/abusers do this. His version is more like what prisoners do when they have to face torture but that usually is refusal to speak. What he's doing is not just silence, but also refusing to look at her and trying to minimize any reaction to her play, which is an attempt to deny her anything she can feed on. I'm guessing he's had to do this growing up too.

Speaking of that - what exactly was Di Fortress doing with their method of training kids into killers? I somehow missed or forgot that part and can't tell if they ever addressed that. Did they rent them out as assassins? Is it a weird death cult that worships battle and uses that energy as human sacrifice to their war god? OHOHOH you know what they could have done instead of the Enperor arc? If they'd freed up the episodes and put the Nanyin bugs into a Di Fortress arc instead. Since they were already using some sort of bug mind control technique anyway.

Fang Duobing, what do you mean you always knew DFS was on your side? All you do is yell at him for being a villian! 😂 also what's with everyone just accepting that DFS was going to stand there and join them without even a bit of protest or trying to arrest him or anything?

It's interesting, the parallels between LLH and DFS's situation. They're both regular dudes trapped under some mythic narrative where everyone thinks they're these story archetypes. But they're not, they're just two martial arts nerds trying to live their life (one to do good, one trying to survive) . They both had someone they trusted not only betray them- but demand they get on their knees and become publically subservient to them. DFS's situation would have evoked sympathy by itself but LLH probably felt extra understanding about how he must feel. Especially bc he knows what his own reaction would have been in the past to that kind of humiliation. Like, aside from JL's implied intention of sex slavery, how is SGD's plan for LLH any different than what JL did to DFS when she dragged him back home?

[leefi]

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere Read-through | Part 1: Chapters 1-14

Part 1: 1-14 | Part 2: 14-22 | Part 3: 22-34 | Part 4: 34-64 | Part 5: 64-80 | Part 6: 81-90 | Part 7: 90-100 | Part 8: 100-127 (caught up here)

Hi!!!! I've been reading through this webnovel after seeing @ot3's pitch for it and started writing down some thoughts on the characters and worldbuilding and imminent murdering. This story is very, very long and I only reacted up to about chapter 33, so most of my thoughts will involve the worldbuilding and less the murder mystery aspect -- so if you're looking for theorizing you won't find much of that here. Since I'll be continuing eventually, I wanted to post what I did make note of to revisit later!

Most of these are not marked by chapter/section because I was lazy and I'm not sure how easy it will be to follow as a result, but everything is chronological.

everyone here is hijabi mashallah

The visual I'm getting of the solar system/local system/dimension they inhabit is kind of a blend of steampunk and fantasy and uhh some secret third thing. With the walls of their "universe" painted in that puella dollhouse witch lair style. Does the sun bounce around like a screensaver. Does it orbit their earth or is it on a fixed axis flung out into “space”? Does “space” even exist anymore? I’m assuming they’re in an enclosed area that they've created. Do they actively use arcane resources to keep objects (ie star and planets) sustaining themselves, or have they made them self sufficient?

everyone is so mean to Ptolema leave her alone what the fuckk let a bimbo live i want to kill you all you’re so annoying. Ptolema I WOULD be your friend and not ask all these weird ass questions. and we would hold hands and skip and giggle

Yes shes an airhead nepo baby but you guys could try doing anything other than snickering and rolling your eyes whenever she says stupid shit. If she starts arguing back about government war crimes during the Revolution or something then you have my blessing to beat her ass!

I HATE kamsurepa i HATE her i HAYE Her and her stupid ass name

Ran and Su have no chemistry its insane that theyre always hanging out every conversation is like uhhh (awkward silence) (rude comment from Ran) *Su voice* wow she gets me so well. every time they talk im like what the fuck just happened.

Su’s internal narration is too self aware for me. it’s like she talks like she knows she’s a character? or something. it's self-deprecating in a very bizarre way

im sorry i don’t know if i can continue with this. i know too many med students irl and these characters are literally pissing me off. compliments to the author for realism you knocked it out of the park

Oh, thank you very much!" Kam said, reverting back to her smiley-diplomatic form for a moment before stepping away from the counter and continuing as she handed us the cards. "...as far as it seems to me, the desire to reproduce is essentially an immature form of pursuing life-extension - this idea that you'll 'live on through your children' that's patently pseudo-mysticism justifying what is ultimately an animal instinct." ⬇️ I’m going to grab her ginger head and swing her around like bowser in mario 64. SHUT UPPPPP SHUT UP please tell me shes the one that dies

You know," I mused idly, my eyes wandering. "I think this is actually the fourth glass ceiling I've seen today." "Mm, it's true that you don't see a lot of women working in Aetheromancy," ⬇️ I know this is a small nitpick but aren’t we really far into the future why do they keep using terms like this 😭 gendered stuff like this still exists billions? trillions? of years into the future?

Why has the disco elysium skill tree randomly started talking to su. Is this her future self nagging her. Is she pulling a han sooyoung. when do we get to the various utsushikome ego deaths

"prosognostic overlap"…do ppl repeat faces? Are most people cloned at this point? What triggered the need for cloning surely medicine is advanced enough that childbirth or test tube babies are feasible? Can bodies be cloned and reinhabited to inhibit aging? Is there some disturbing psychological element to seeing someone with the same face as you? Does it make your brain short circuit? Kam mentioned having children earlier which I assume means people still give birth or have test tube babies, so i don’t know if it’s the result of cloning…but it does sound like a sameface sort of thing. What else would it be if not that though?

Actually, if they’ve figured out teleportation (whatever it was called when they went up the aetherbridge) - let's say they can atomize a body and reforming it elsewhere (though we don't know for sure yet, could also be a fold in spacetime) - transferring consciousness to an empty clone of yourself (and therefore effectively doing away with aging or death wholesale) sounds a lot more efficient and technologically practical than maintaining an organic system that naturally decays. Why keep on finding ways to push the human body past its limits when you could simply transfer a person to a new, identical vessel?

I feel like the key to immortality isn’t maintaining an organic body, which naturally tends towards systems of entropy (being a biological thing, entropy=decay), but rather delineating and separating human consciousness from its host and replicating its original environment perfectly. I’m not talking about making a copy of consciousness, which is just glorified cloning - I’m talking about *transferring* a consciousness.

You could almost call dementia itself the mind's tendency towards its own kind of entropy?

Though if you transfer a consciousness to a younger body, the dementia issue could still potentially remain. Depends on if it the author sees it as a solely physical phenomena (atrophy/buildup of inhibitors of the brain) or there's some metaphysical anomaly about amassing too many memories/"existing" too long in general

The way spellwork is described is really cool and feels super believable. Optimizing multiple concurrent spells into one “function” is intricate and sophisticated, and you have to dedicate a lot of brainpower to doing the math in your head. It’s like they’re coding the real world. I love the way lurina describes this it's awesome.

[neptuniadoesstuff]

3 Myamic Gals based on/inspired by 3 Elf Races from TES!

I was bored as hecc so I just made these 3 Gals. 2 of them are gae & married to each other. (Can u guess who?)

Originally, there was gonna be 4, but eh, 4 was too much... Plus, I already made a pic with like 5 characters & that was too much of my time. (Btw the dunmer lady was originally a guy, but she's a woman now!)

Anyways imma tell you about the true species of these goobers:

Top Right: Bosmer Mimic aka "Horned-Forest Glenderrah"

Bottom Middle: Maormer Mimic aka "Abyssal Hinkomonsi"

Top Left: Dunmer Mimic aka "Morrowsoot"

You can gave them names, I don't mind. As long it has a first & last name. (Bcs thats how Mimic naming works & they pretty much adopted it when humanity started to grow on Luhzeruh.)

Weird fact: The Mimic species has around 3-4 names, the most common is Mimic (bcs they can & will Mimic humans), their scientific name "Reptarius-Imatis", their true name "Altermorphs". & that other other word but thats a slur used by humans bcs apparently Mimics are lizerd-like. But despite them being humanoid lizerd ppl... They rlly opposed to being called "lizards" that it's just a slur for them now..

Btw some close ups lol:

Characters are all mine. (Except for the species they were based on, those belong to the creators of the TES series)

Art: Mine STOOPID! (Srry not srry but dOnT tAkE iT fRoM mE)

Program: IbisPaint x

Bubs' TOS: Plz don't repost/steal, trace, or recolor my art WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! If you do, I'll take yur femur and pelvis.. SO, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! (The PNS on my Blog's pinned project clearly means "Please No Steal" plz follow that rule.) If you do post my art on anything like yur blog or somewhere else (With my permission) PEASE CREDIT ME!

[br1ghtestlight]

btw heres my notes for my roudise biker au fanfic that i never actually started writing lmao but i think its a cute concept :) badass edgy biker louise and rudy being a sweetheart trying to befriend her <3

(and yes her "biker gang" is named after the one-eyed snakes bcuz she's kind of trying to emulate them in a weird way. she still knows them in this universe but they met earlier bcuz louise has been part of the gang since she was six)

"Louise Belcher was the toughest kid on the block, and the leader of the Three-Eyed Snakes—an infamous bicycle gang that had control over all the alleyways and ramps in Seymour's Bay, and bullied kids who were younger or weaker than them. Rudy Steblitz was another kid being picked on by the Three-Eyed Snakes, but that all changed when he decided to stand up for himself and his friends against the scariest nine year old he's ever met."

louise is the leader of a biker gang of kids who ride their bikes in the alleyway and despite being the youngest she's the scariest and intimidates other ppl including kids her own age like harley rudy andy ollie etc and nobody has ever stood up to her before. she's a bully and never emotional or scared of anything. even scares some of the older kids in her gang of bikers like zeke and chelsea. she goes by the nickname bunny ears and nobody knows her real name (except gene and tina obvs)

she and her biker gang keep other kids from riding bikes in the area and one day rudy and his friends (harley kaylee andy ollie etc) are all riding bikes together when louise shows up w/ her friends and she's like get the hell outta here this is our turf or whatever and everybody is like cmon rudy lets go :/ that's bunny ears she's gonna terrorize us and rudy is like no she's just another kid im not gonna let her tell us what to do anymore!!!! he stands up to louise (he's scared but he still does it) and nobody's ever done that before so she's a little caught off guard but she's like whatever fuck off

rudy keeps interacting with her etc and he wears her down. she offers to let him join her gang of bikers but he's like nah i dont wanna be mean to kids. louise can't be seen with him bcuz he's not part of their Gang but she likes and respects him

one day they're hanging out and riding bikes together when tina and gene call louise for dinner and call her by her real name vs bunny ears and this is the first time anybody's heard louise's real name and rudy is like. louise. your name is louise and she's like yeah whatever i have to go now and she kinda avoids rudy over the next few weeks

louise is worried that if rudy knows the person she really is then he won't respect her or like her anymore and she HAS to be intimiating so ppl wont fuck around or mess with her but rudy says he'd like to know the real louise and that's sorta where their relatonship starts and the fic ends. final line is louise being like okay. my name is Louise Belcher and im 9 years old

[pinkrifle]

Hc’s for being childhood friends with randy?

HOLY MOTHER EFFING SHIT!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS REQ. ILY.

we ❤️ RANDY around here, folks.

— being childhood friends with randy!!

cws/tw’s: weed mention, but like, when is randy not associated with weed.

a/n 1: this is very ooc since i don’t watch much randy clips, but i’ll think about actually educating mysel before telling ppl i write for things 😭 so my fault, dw 🫶

misc. notes: reader and randy are 10-13

you guys are KICK ASS at kickball. everyone see’s hell when you guys are on the same team.

definitely the ones who are complete goof fuckin balls in the nice teachers class.

joking about starting weed farms or being edible dealers, always looking for random ways to get high (it never works)

sus ass jokes. YALL R ALWAYS SO GAY even if your making the jokes to the opposite gender 😙

assuming randy was also childhood friends with sharon at the time, your always doing the most annoyingest shit ever,,

making kissy faces at them and bringing them valentines gifts in the others’ name, they know it’s you but act flustered to humor you &lt;3

going over to randy’s house and cooking, he used to be a good cook .. uhhhhhhhh we don’t talk about that 🤭 but you do make dinner for him sometimes

doing reckless stuff, cheating on tests and usually getting caught. he’s a little ditzy so you guys hardly think twice about your dummy actions!!

y’all try weed the first time when your 13, absolutely euphoric and you have severe fkn munchies. definitely doesn’t start the farm until later but still, weed is amazing to u guys

rlly weird roast sessions, like your roasts suck but people will laugh a t anything you guys say so you say it!!

on halloween you guys dress up as weed leaves, your parents won’t let you dress up as it infront of them so you change as soon as you get out the house fr

if randy ever got braces (kinda unlikely but i thought this was funny) you would so rip on him for it, he would sound like shelly (even tho she doesn’t exist for many decades to come) and you call him all sorts of names. but without all the teasing you give him icecream and ice to help him with the hurting of his braces

i imagine hes like stan when he’s younger than 12, so you guys are like kyle and stan fr. inseparable besties!!

if anyone makes jokes about you guys being together (regardless if your a girl or boy) you will 100% hate that person FOREVER >:( y’all r simply besties.

a/n: holy shir this is actually so short. i’m so sorry lately i’ve been so tired but long requests -> easier to take care of, so thank u and thank you other anons for making ur requests long /gen

[haunted-xander]

Fontaine, as a whole, is a nation I feel was so nearly perfect, but also just... somewhat unsatisfying.

Like, the exploration is nice, the puzzles and mechanics are fun, but... it's so easy. I have the entire map 100%. I didn't use a guide for most of it (only for Special Stuff like the treasure maps and foggy branches), nor did I have the treasure compass. All I had to help me was the hydroculus resonance gadget. The only regions in the game I got to 100% without any guides before was Galesong Hill (which, tbh, most ppl probably have at 100% or close %), and Hypostyle Desert (simply bc the underground ruins were so much fun to explore). Everywhere else I used a guide for at some point. During 4.0 I literally felt like I had to hold back on exploring just to not finish it too quickly. Yeah.

The world quests have a lot of interesting stuff going for them, especially the Narzissenkreuz questline and the ones in/around Merusea Village. But... they feel like they're missing something. I don't feel like I'm properly done with any of them, even though there isn't really anything more to add. The Narzissenkreuz quests had a very strong start, I cared about the characters involved and the lore they're a part of, and having it be 3 questlines that combine into one comprehensive story was really fun, but the ending feels... unceremonious almost. I can't pinpoint what's wrong with it, it answered what it needed to and it made it clear what everyone was doing going forward, but... it feels off. Anticlimatic, almost, despite it having the climax it needed. The world quest I was most satisfied with was the Questioning Melusine And Answering Machine quests, and it's a largely self-contained one. Everything else feels... unfinished, almost. But also not.

And the Archon Quests are so so good, but also... weird at parts. First of all, Childe's out-of-nowhere traumadump early on is jarring, especially since... they didn't really follow up with it properly? Like yes, the Narwhal and Skirk ended up relevant but... not to him, for the most part. The important questions this conversation prompted wasn't elaborated or followed up on, which is what could've justified including it at all. We still have no more clues as to why the Narwhal connected with him, we don't know what caused his restlessness or why his vision messed up, and Skirk was kinda just... there. She loredumped and that was that.

There's other oddities too, like Traveler getting upset at the twins for hiding their Fatui affiliation. Traveler has every right to be upset with them in that moment but... not for that. They should be upset because they lied about the magic show, not about being Fatui. Like, you literally called Childe you're friend just the other day! And he's literally tried to kill you (well, okay, not "kill", but he was still an enemy)! And later on you're suddenly fine with Arlecchino, a person we have seen time and time again is an absolutely terrible person? Because, what, she cared about this one specific problem that affected innocent lives? Really?

Furina and Childe not getting checked up on by basically anyone at the end of 4.2s AQ feels not only out of character (you're gonna tell me Traveler isn't gonna check on them after all that happened? Really?) but also just... very shitty. The only one who seemed to even care was Neuvillette, everyone else just kinda... forgot about those two. Despite the fact that 1) Furina was a well liked public figure who, even after the truth was revealed, people very much still cared about, and 2) Childe literally saved the entire nation but stalling the Narwhal for over a month. Even Neuvillette couldn't so much as deter that thing until he got his full powers back, and you're telling me nobody, not even the people who where directly saved by him, even wondered what became of him? Really?

The characters are fantastic here, don't get me wrong, everyone is lovely and I adore them all, but the way the story handled certain things is just... not great. It's unsatisfying. It feels like there were things they wanted to do but either chickened out of or simply didn't get to include. It's so jarring.

[florisbaratheons]

Anyone else annoyed with the foreshadowing stuff for team black using the team green stuff. I mean im annoyed...(I feel like I'm in the minority but i want to tell still...you can ignore this if it is dumb)

1. Why are they making a big deal out of creepy!viserys refusing milk of poppy and sticking it out for his "only child" when in the books he is just obese and goes out that way. I'm annoyed coz this is aegons main plot point and was the few things i liked about him (his bond with sunfyre was another) : that he wants to be there for his family and milk of poppy numbed his senses so much that he lost so many and doesn't want to lose the remaining people he has by being unconscious eventhough he is in severe pain.

2. Vhagar roared and was super pissed when aemond lost his eye: they just ignored that and when rhaenyra gave birth to visenya they put a scene for her (which to me did not look aesthetically in place/ bad cgi maybe?), when it is known that syrax-rhaenyra bond is not that special...syrax even killed her son (i think the show will ignore and change this 🙄)

3. Laenas death scene: why the hell did they put that dumb "i want a dragonriders death by burning alive"??? No one says so in the books. It was the worst thing especially since she is a black woman in the show and they kill her violently and in the books where she is a white woman she has such a beautiful scene with her husband. Why can't they let her have a peaceful scene like that? Of course i feel it is to show rhaenyra in the end when she gets eaten/burnt (which i think they'll change to burn only) it will be some badass great awe inspiring scene. I dont like that they take away daemon/laenas love and treat laena horribly without thinking about the racial connotations. I can't believe ppl liked the change. (I know she's not green but still I want to talk about it)

Why can't the showrunners read and stick to the books and not take away the little goodstuff that the greens have and give to the blacks? Sorry for the rant.

Omg, anon, if you are still around, I am sooooo sorry. I started to answer this the day you sent it, stuck it in my drafts, and completely forgot about it.

It definitely does seem that way, that they transferred some of Aegon's book plot to Viserys. I definitely think they are going to dumb down Aegon's injuries and have it not be as bad as it is in the book. Especially since Viserys rotting away was not in the book. And it's fascinating to me with how shitty of a father they made Viserys when in the book he actually does give a flying fig about his other children, Helaena is particularly close to him and brings the babies to visit him all the time, while in the show they transferred that over to where she brings the babies to Alicent instead.

I will forever be ticked off they cut Vhagar having a fit when Aemond had his eye cut out. And it's really interesting to me how the show laid it on thick that Rhaenyra and Daemon have perfect bonds with their dragons and Syrax feels Rhaenyra's pain, but we didn't see Sunfyre at all and Aegon's bond with him was supposed to be incredible, the same with Dreamfyre and Helaena, and the time we see adult Aemond with Vhagar, he loses control over her.

Laena's death was terrible. That was not empowering, and anyone who thinks so is weird. Her death in the book was...idk, for lack of a better word, soft. Laena's life in the book was much happier and much more fullfilled. She was able to travel around with her family, visit Driftmark, have two beautiful babies, had her bestie Rhaenyra coming to see them all the time. Her death was heartbreaking because she wasn't able to get to Vhagar for one last ride. But it wasn't that garbage that the show produced.

I totally understand the frustration! It definitely makes me nervous about season 2, since we are heading into the first huge battles of the war, and new characters being introduced. My witch queen Alys is on the way and I am soooo concerned they are gonna make her a secret black or something. I have all my fingers and toes crossed that they are going to stick closer to the book this go-around since Ryan Condal seems to be a huge book fan. And GRRM is supposedly (just a rumor I heard) going to be in the writers' room as well. But honestly, my biggest worry is time. They still have shitloads of material to go thru and the showrunners seem determined to wrap this up in four seasons and season 2 is ALREADY 2 hours shorter. That is a immense concern of mine.

[thatbitchsimone]

I literally can’t stop feeling embarrassed in public. Do u have any advice on not caring what people think about u? It’s so exhausting walking around feeling like I have to be seen as ‘perfect’ or to impress literal strangers!!! Like I just wanna live life and not feel like I have to perform at every moment I’m in the company of others. Pls help xox

these random ppl are literally barely even noticing ur existence. and i dont mean that in a bad way or in a way that reflects on u, im just saying that we are all in our own heads and not paying that much attention to strangers in our day to day life. no one is analysing ur every movement. it might feel like it but u know deep down they arent and that its just ur anxiety playing with ur head.

also a good thing to keep in mind whenever u get that anxious feeling that u might have ”embarrassed urself” or ”looked weird” or whatever is that none of these strangers have any idea who u are. they dont even know ur name. u will most likely never see any of these ppl ever again and if u do neither of u will remember each other anyways lol. their perception of u has literally zero impact on ur actual life. maybe u tripped while walking past some random stranger and they saw u trip, sure in the moment u might feel a little embarrassed and awkward about it, but then what? u know this stranger wont even remember it like 10 minutes after bc it was an extremely minor incident that u know their brain barely even registered for more than 3 seconds. u also know that u wont even remember it urself tomorrow, it has zero impact on ur life. like just tell urself ”whatever these ppl have no idea who i am and will probably never even see me again anyways so it doesnt even matter what they think bc we are no one to each other” and then just tell urself to let it go and shift ur focus to something else. bc u know that this is just ur anxiety and insecurity gnawing at u and this is a fleeting feeling and moment anyway.

id also like to add that, assuming ur a woman, ur not alone in struggling with this. ALL women experience these thoughts and feelings to some degree bc we are all conditioned to take up as little space as possible and to always have other ppls (specifically men, but not exclusively men) perception of us in mind. google that male gaze quote right now babe. the margaret atwood one and the john berger one. it will help u see this phenomena more clearly and u will relate to it and maybe gain some insight into how u percieve urself and how what these feelings and insecuritites are rooted in and u will be like u know what? fuck that. like ur approach to this will start to change once u have gained this perspective and might even make u feel like rebelling against it which might help u to free urself from this.

u dont need to be perfect. i want u to be free and messy and loud. i want u to be imperfect. imperfection is peak beauty. women are wild and messy. thats the beauty in us. its the rawness and realness in the most gorgeous form. embrace it. be free and carefree and do u. love u queen <3 if i saw u literally laughing hysterically to urself in public i would be like oh she gets it shes the vibe i love her so much like BE FREE GIRL LET GO LET GO

[icedmetaltea]

Mmmm dream talk

Got real tired around the middle of the afternoon and ended up having a 3-4 hr nap lol. It was one of those lucid kinds where I could keep myself myself go back into the dream so i did, over and over and over cause I was having so much fun

I remember something about being a dad with kids on this family trip in like an rv BUT we got transported to another dimension somehow and ended up on this frozen wasteland of iced over water, unable to move the car. We had like 40% battery remaining so I went to go look for land. Ran into this corporate-ass robot thing that told us to stay where we were, that everything would be ok, BUT WE WOULD FREEZE TO DEATH IF WE DID CAUSE WE WERE GONNA RUN OUT OF BATTERY OVERNIGHT!!

So I realized the robot was evil and wanted us to freeze there, dunno why (got vibes from those freakyass robots in alien:isolation tbh it was NOT a good boi) so went back to tell my kids about it and had a little cry

Me and one of my older daughters went to go look for something under the water... don't ask me how we were able to survive under the fucking ICY WATER and not die of hypothermia, we just were- but I gave her a tube to breathe under the water or visa versa and we set off to look for... somehting, can't remember what, while avoiding the evil robot dude

I switched to daughter's POV and she got caught by this other girl who dived in and found her. Turns out she was a daughter of the leader of this island/pocket universe idk and they quickly became friends. She took her in to see her house which was real weird cause it was full of all these things my daughter remembered, like stuff from a halloween party she went to as a smol kid, and it just so happened that her best friend had gone missing during that party way back then... so like she must've gotten sucked into the pocket universe along with these other few ppl

The two girls kinda started catching feelings so she ran off w/ my daughter and went to meet up with me, we somehow got out of the pocket universe but the family of the girl got angry she had disappeared and started searching for her... Idk how but many years later they figured out how to travel into the real dimension to find us

Not sure if this was related but something about two teams of ppl with magic powers facing against each other and killing each other in torturous ways??? Like they kept doing it cause they kept respawning idk

Only one was saved cause they were the cinnamon roll of the groups

Aaaaand that's all I remember lol... I feel really bad cause there were a lot of aspects I wanted to remember and write a story for and kept REPEATING OVER AND OVER EVEN IN MY DREAM BUT NOOOOOOO, as soon as I woke up it all became blurry >:(((( I am once again blocked off from my creative side that exists only in my theta state

my head huuuuuurts tooooo aaAAAA

[socialbunny]

15 questions for 15 mutuals :3

i was tagged by @annieshowell, @obsoletepixels, @goatskickin, @shitysimp, @sicksadsim and @jsasimmer <3333333333 thanks guys ily >:3

are you named after anyone? no, my mom had two names she wanted to pick for me and she and my dad settled on the one i have. but she was alsoo watching this movie in the hospital and one of the characters has my exact birth name so i think that cemented the name lol. and my name dirk, i named myself after dirk dreamer bc he's so me fr

when was the last time you cried? can't remember exactly

do you have kids? No I don't need that that in my life rn

do you use sarcasm a lot? I dooo, never in a mean way tho bc i feel like using sarcasm to mask how u feel abt some1 is pussy fr. i love joking around and poking fun and just being silly and weird and chillin like? irl personality is hit or miss with people. ive been told i talk back too much or always have something to say like? 😭

what sports do you play/have you played? when i was in elementary school i was in a dance group (terrible at it i have no rhythm at all it's honestly embarrassing) and when i was in high school i was in a tennis class (which was a PE alternative where we honestly never did shit tbh, towards the end of the school year we'd just be in the computer lab most of the time) and i considered joining the actual team but i also sucked at it 😭 and i really don't like doing team shit esp sports bc people start acting weird and i start getting real agitated.

what's the first thing you notice about other people? like physical i guess their outfit and hair and other shit i wear my glasses forr but shittttt, like just talking to someone i can catch their vibe really quick. just the way someone talks can tell you a lot abt them

eye color? Brown

scary movies or happy endings? it really depends on what the movie is

any special talents? nothing in particular i can think of. i think anything i do i'm really good at but not especially good at you know. i used to be told i'm really good at drawing but i was told this by the type of ppl who say they cant draw a stick figure so. take that as u will

where were you born? Texas 🤠

what are your hobbies? I love drawing and writing and reading and all the shit in that sphere of hobbies in theory 😭 been in a slump lately and doing shit seems harder than it needs to be. I love watching animation analysis and critiques, and listening to those 3hr vids of ppl talking abt shit i will never watch or care about while i do other bullshit. i really like making renders right now it gives me something to do without getting distracted too much. i also love playing really old shitty video games that have pages of cut content on tcrf

do you have any pets? No :( never had any pets when i was a kid either bc my mom had a whole bunch of dogs as a child and she didnt fw the idea of having any more animals in her house

how tall are you? 5'4 :)

fave subject in school? I love English (predictably I guess 😭)

dream job? i'd love to work in the animation industry in any way possible <3 or work in tv in general. probably have my own cartoon some day but thats such a stretchhhhhhhh i cant even work on my sims fanfiction or any oc shit LMAO. if not then i'd accept nothing less than a job where i don't have to talk to a lot of people and get payed billions of dollars to do bullshit

i dont have 15 ppl to tag since i do ask games so slowlyyyyy but i'll tag @despairoftheendless, @junkskoer, @faghotline and @hyperthinks !!! <3