#south park x reader platonic

[pinkrifle]

Hello ml!<3 i was wondering if you could do yandere team stan and craig x reader platonic please! Like they see reader as a little sister!^^

hi lovely! i do not take SP requests anymore buttttf this seems really easy, so i should be able to do this !

saying this rn i’m so sorry if this is short #_# <\3 i’m sorry if i missed a character or two aswell!

only team stan right now as i can’t really think of much to do for team craig, sorry once more! D:

Stan Marsh -

a little careful not to bring you around his friends too much.. especially cartman AND COVERS UR EARS EVERYTIME ONE OF THEM SAYS A DIRTY JOKE LOL (no matter how old you are!1!1!)

would 100% go off on anyone who tries to mess with you (and Kyle would probably join him too) , ya don’t F with family, folks!

trades his lunch or snacks at lunch to give them to you!! loves seeing the look on your face when you get a snack size pack of skittles. Even if it’s super small your face always lightens up and he just laughs and feels very proud of himself after

he makes sure shelly isn’t too mean to you, let’s her rip on him instead if she gets a little aggressive with you (she wouldn’t really go that far dw <3)

Eric Cartman -

GETS YOU IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIMMEEEE

(don’t worry he always does something in return after. begrudgingly and hesitantly.) (he just feels bad)

brings you on all of his little dangerous adventures but makes sure you stay safe all the time,, if you get hurt EVER he’s SOOO dramatic. begging for a hospital!

if any of his friends (aka rest of team stan) dare to say anything to you (they don’t cuz they don’t care) he will 100% be dramatic ALLO OVER AGAIN, threatens to beat up his friends (he can’t rlly) and is nice to you for the rest of the day!!

steals cute stuff from other classmates and brings them to you, steals snacks from people and brings them to you!! probably stole some snacks from stan that he planned to give to his own little sibling

Kenny McCormick -

tones down his dirty jokes when with you, and also does not let you around his friends LMAO

loves hanging out with you, karen, and kevin! at first he was really hesitant on stuart and carol having you (like with karen) but loved you so much after your born!!

protects u FOR LIFE. is basically also your guardian angel when he’s in his mysterion costume! when your in the foster home thing(?) he’s visiting you like crazy and bringing you treats aswell. makes sure you never get beaten up in the basement by the parents

loves whenever you show him something you like. Anime? cartoons? etc? your not cringe to him at all! he likes weird shit too, trust. Watches and plays everything you show him <3

a video game MASTER! having any trouble with a boss fight? he’s got it. Cant find an item? he already has it and is gonna trade it to you!!

Kyle Broflovski -

takes care of you and Ike RELIGIOUSLY. love you two both to death!

plays dolls/action digs with you even if your in middle school or whatever (in the event he’s in HS or whatever) , he doesn’t want his little siblings to ever grow up! brings a tear to his eye.

every Hanukkah he makes sure you get the best presents and NEVER lets your presents break, always has them in pristine condition ! hates seeing you sad , it affects him more than he’d like to admit.. he also gives you his hat to wear when your a little down!

bakes and cooks with you, he’s pretty okay at cooking but if your bad it’s no problem! he’s willing to teach you the 3 dishes he knows how to make LMAO. If your better than him at cooking? EVEN BETTER, teach him! but he’ll be a little embarassed to learn stuff from his little sibling

having trouble with homework? he’s on it! he won’t let you cheat on anything, but he’ll help you and guide you to the right answer.

Never let’s people talk shit about you or make fun of you, he will fr fight his friends if they dare to do that.

heya! thanks for requesting, i haven’t been really willing to write lately but this got me off my booty!!! i really should open my tf2 and scp foundation reqs.

sorry again i couldn’t do team craig! i hope these were good enough, feel free to request this again some time if i’m ever active again! <3

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Jason: Why are you looking at me?

Y/N: Why are you looking at me?

Dick: Why isn’t anyone looking at me?

[pineappleciders]

I loved your older siblings has, can u do more of them ?? :3

south park main 4 with a stereotypical older sibling reader

A/N: of course!!!! i've actually gotten several reqs to do more of these so i'm gonna do the main 4!!! i hope this is what you meant :D also so sorry for this being super late i have too many drafts

stan marsh

ANOTHER SHELLY??? pray for him

his friends have seriously been getting annoyed with how much he complains about his older siblings

you don't beat him up as bad as shelly does but you do shove him out of the way and noogie him and all that. you take his hat off and make fun of his greasy hair and he gets super pissy

always angry about how you always manage to woo your parents over. how sharon treats you like an angel when you're actually an evil dick

you and shelly gang up on him all the time LOL you two plan together in your rooms about how to annoy him. like when his friends are over you constantly open the door randomly just to put him on edge

whenever he's having problems with wendy he always comes to you. you always laugh and make fun of him but you actually give really good relationship advice

despite constantly making fun of him and annoying him you actually always have his back?? when he's getting bullied or he feels scared you're always on the person's ass and ready to jump in front of him at any moment

you'd never admit it though. stan is a little shit but he's a funny evil little shit

kyle broflovski

he peeks into a room to see you playing with ike and smiling and laughing and treating him like a little angel and he compares that to how you treat him and he thinks it's unfair

what he doesn't know is that when he was a baby like ike you were constantly cooing at him and carrying him. you think you would die of embarrassment if your parents showed him pictures of you reading him bedtime stories

he thinks you HATE him. like he is 100% convinced that you are out to get him. i mean you kinda are but it's tough love yk

you hide his hat often because you know he would rather die than go to school without it. he gets all pissed and snatches it when he finds it

calls you stupid and stuff like stereotypical sibling behavior but you're really the only grown-up he can trust with issues. sheila is amazing but she has quite a temper,, you're not that great either but you always help out somehow

tattles on you when you do smth he knows ur not supposed to be. he doesn't take immense joy in being a snitch but he thinks you deserve it

eric cartman

he hates you. you're #1 on his shit-list. like seriously be careful

whines and stamps his foot when you aren't a pushover and actually make him do basic things. like how dare you be a normal human being. he hates liane too but he always clings to her when you're around

whenever you see his friends you like to embarrass him by telling them how much of a mama's boy he is. and it doesn't really work because their opinion of him can't get much lower

is constantly plotting on how to get rid of you. sometimes you find papers in his room that are either extremely complicated or super simple plans to kill you

he also tapes threatening letters to your door sometimes. you're not really scared of him, but after the incident with the tenormans, you started locking your door at night..

his friends are actually quite thankful that there's someone to keep eric in his place now. he actually acts... somewhat more normal now. it's frightening how just having an older sibling can keep him in line

although... not completely. he's still a little devil and you pick him up by his scruff like a kitten whenever you catch him plotting.

kenny mccormick

even if you occasionally lock the door on him, and tease him in his stupid little roleplay outfits, he's still quite thankful to have an elder figure in his life who can take care of him.

admittedly, it's very hard to be mean to kenny and karen, so you typically find yourself bullying kevin the most.

it's never mean-spirited though. living in a household like that requires you to stick together, and you honestly wouldn't trade your siblings for the world

you get a job pretty early to start providing for your family, and you're often forced to bring kenny and the others with you to work at your boring cashier job. kevin likes to help out with restocking while karen and kenny play dolls behind the register

you smack kenny upside the head everytime you catch him reading porno mags.

his friends either think you're awesome or think you're lame. depends on how u act and cartman probably lowkey likes you but doesn't admit it cuz ur poor😭😭

even though you're mean to him u and kenny still chill a lot together. he'll always ask about adult stuff like weed but you never entertain his goofy ideas. he might try to act more grown, but he'll always be your baby brother!!!

[halliestinks]

Hello!! I really loved your cartman and reader who’s like his sister headcanons so i had a similar request

could you write another wholesome headcanons for a female reader who treats karen like her little sister? the reader only had brothers so karen is like her adoptive younger sister, and how would kenny react?? maybe he also has a crush on her? sorry if it’s too much <33

Karen McCormick w/ Fem!Reader who treats her like a younger sister

a/n: ty for the request! I had a lot of fun writing this and I love karen, she and her brothers deserve sm better :C I hope you like it 🎉🎉 (reader is in highschool & karen is 12-13)

• growing up with brothers was a struggle to say the least

• it’s not like you didn’t love them or anything, you just found yourself yearning for a sisterly bond

• so when you first met karen you instantly felt a connection and took on the role as the protective older sister 💪😤

• you met her at the park one day, she seemed really upset so you approached her and asked if she was okay

"my friends ditched me to go shopping, they said I couldn't come because I wouldn’t even be able to buy anything..."

“……do you want me to beat them up"

• ngl you probably freaked her out a bit at first LMAO

• she’s like ??? who are you???

• the only reason you recognised her was because she’s related to kenny. and even then, you barely spoke to him so it took you a little while to realize who she was

• to cheer her up, you took her to go shopping by yourselves. you willingly payed for whatever she wanted (though she argued that you didn't have to). and from that day on, you found yourselves hanging out frequently

• karen was definitely unsure at first, she’s never had an older female friend before so she didn’t know how to behave.

• but as time went on she started to open up, and before you knew it, you were having deep conversations and learnt a lot about her

• you occasionally invite her over to your place. and you have a girls night! giving each other makeovers, playing video games and watching horror movies is the usual routine

• since karen is also in the same sister-less situation as you, she will go to you for advice if it’s something she doesn’t want to talk to kenny about

• driving around mindlessly while blasting music is another fun activity you and karen enjoy (you jokingly follow people around town and make them think you guys are stalkers 🤭)

“isn’t that Clyde Donovan?”

“yah I think so”

“let’s follow him next”

“good idea 🫡”

• you then proceeded to follow him around until he took off running and squealing

• going over to her house is a rare occurrence, and it only ever happens when nobody else is there. you suspect that it’s because of her parents

• she only told you a little about them, but from what you heard they weren't very good people. luckily she has her older brother to take care of her, even though you didn't know kenny very well it sounded like karen really admired him

• speaking of kenny… karen constantly begs you to become friends with him. the conversation usually goes like this;

“you guys would be such good friends!! and then you can fall in love, get married and have babies so I can be a cool auntie!!!”

“…”

“😇”

“what! 😃”

• you do eventually run into kenny one day when you’re dropping karen off at home and he waits until karen can’t hear to thank you for everything

• you suddenly start seeing him a lot more after that encounter, getting to know him as well (karen teases you whenever she sees you two hanging out)

• he also joins you two whenever you’re at their house, and you manage to force him into modelling with you doing his makeup and karen paints his nails (he claims that he’s only doing it for karen but in all honesty he just likes spending time with you)

• sometimes when it’s a nice night out, you’ll take karen out to go stargazing

• you find a nice spot somewhere just out of town and you lay down either on the top of your car or on the grass

• pointing out silly imaginary constellations and giggling about them until you get tired and go back home

• you couldn’t wish for a better sister 🫶

[jimmyvalmerenthusiast]

being a part of both team stan and team craig include

|Reader is GN, characters are about 14 years old here so freshman year of HS, Platonic!Team Stan/Craig x GN!Reader|

❥ Absolute chaos, I don't know what you expected.

❥ Having known both groups since preschool has been both beneficial and horrific. On one hand, if you got someone who won’t leave you alone and/or harassing you, consider they ass dead, all you will see if the person messing with you get dragged by the arms or hair by Craig and Cartman as the rest of the boys follow and you never hear or see that person again.

❥ The only one who can really harass you and get away with it is Cartman, the others, mostly everyone else but Kyle, Tolkien, Butters and Tweek, more so just pick on you for stupid shit. Unless it’s something they really find fucking stupid and want to give you shit for it cuz it’s funny to them cuz teenage boys.

❥ On the other hand, the second you mention that you have a crush or are just in a vulnerable state of mind or emotion, you are absolutely getting shitted on, again mostly by Cartman, but the others will give you shit too about things unless it’s something super serious cuz you’ve stated and proved many times before you will absolutely rock their shit if they say one word.

❥ You made one comment about how you missed your gran who just passed and Jimmy and Kenny felt the need to make one stupid “joke” about it. The whole school didn’t see either of them for a week after that. (Kenny prob died and Jimmy nearly saw the pearly gates, that taught him that some jokes aren’t necessary)

❥ Sleepovers with both gangs are a must considering you’re a part of both groups.

❥ One weekend you spend at Stan’s house or sometimes Kyle’s or Cartman’s with him, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Butters. Those weekends usually consist of a lot of bullying Butters (not that you partake unless it’s something really stupid), Kyle and Cartman arguing and/or Kyle beating the shit out of him while you and Stan just kinda watch him get what he deserves as Kenny laughs his ass off (Butters attempts to stop Kyle but ultimately lets it happen anyway, Eric’s an asshole to him so he had it coming), and lots of video games per Stan and Kyle and takeout because of Cartman’s fatass, not that Kenny is complaining about it.It’s a bit of a stressful and chaotic weekend so when you return home Sunday night, you hideaway in your room to recover from their shenanigans before you see them at school.

❥ I’d say the following weekend when you spend it with Craig and those guys is better but let’s be honest..it’s not, it’s probably just as bad. Some weekends when you get dropped off at Tolkien’s, you’re half minded to just get back in your parents car and go home. These weekends usually consist of lots of chatter and/or outbursts (Tweek) from pretty much everyone but Tolkien, Craig’s probably yapping about red racer or stripe or Tweek, Clyde’s blabbering on about something probably stupid or his relationship with Bebe, Tweek is well…tweaking and/or is clinging to you or Craig, and Jimmy’s probably making repeated stupid jokes if he can get them out that is. You and Tolkien often look at each other like this:

❥ If no one is yapping, y’all are probably screaming as you race in Mario Kart or raging in Mario Party. Clyde’s most likely crying, Jimmy’s in shock, Tolkien and Craig are probably sweating and focused attempting to make a comeback, Tweek is almost losing his mind and you’re just standing or sitting with a shit eating grin on your face as the first place music plays while the rest are still racing or watching whoever is playing or your sitting in first with 9 stars and over 100 coins whilst everyone else is in dead last with one to none since you stole everything else.

❥ Safe to say, you’ve been banned from both games at the sleepovers. You’re okay with that though cuz while everyone else is focused on the games, you’re eating away at the snacks Mrs.Black has brought for y’all, well more so for you considering she seems to favor you over the boys. They’re not too pleased about this lol

❥ Okay so maybe not as bad as sleepovers at Stan’s but still chaotic.

❥ Both groups may be assholes but they have their good sides too. It’s to be expected that you’ll get shit on for something as does everyone in both groups but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, you are one of their best friends after all.

❥ Kyle, Tolkien and Butters are always good to go to for someone who’ll listen while you rant and give you advice about something, Kenny, Clyde and Jimmy are good to go to when you could use a hug or some form of affection (Ofc Jimmy can’t do a lot but that won’t stop him from at least using one of his arms to wrap around you and give you a squeeze), Stan and Tweek are unexpectedly good to go to to for a quick but genuine laugh since they can be unintentionally funny, and Cartman and Craig are good to go to when you need to just scream, shout, curse or just rage since they’ll have little reaction or give you a justified reaction to your anger.

❥ Movie nights are constantly a thing as well, like the sleepovers you do one weekend with Stan’s group and the next with Craig’s, you told them from the beginning that you wouldn't ever do the whole “spend a majority of time with one group and very little with the other.” You were friends with both groups and would spend an even amount of time with both. Some of the boys complained about it in the beginning but eventually came around after seeing how well it worked.

❥ You had seen how jealousy worked within both groups and decided it was best to avoid anyone getting jealous because someone else’s group got more time while the other group didn’t.

❥ But one weekend, you had tried getting both groups together to do one big movie night all together since it was so rare for both groups to get along enough to do something together and thought it would be easier to gather at yours. Yeah you never did that again after that weekend, it was more than you had bargained for and after only 2 hours of everyone being at yours, you snapped at them all and sent them all away and back home because no one could agree on anything or get along (Stan and Tolkien nearly got physical cuz Stan was instigating, Craig was threatening to choke Kenny out because he wouldn’t shut up, Clyde and Kyle were almost screaming at each other over movie choices, Cartman was calling Jimmy derogatory names, and Butters and Tweek were honestly just hiding in the other room to avoid the fighting but you coulda swore Tweek had to have bitten or hit Butters when you heard Butters scream ow).

❥ In the end, you ended up calling Wendy and the girls over to watch movies with you instead because the boys had been so much that they nearly pushed you to tears with their fighting.

❥ By the end of the first movie alone, your phone had been blowing up with calls, texts, and even emails from the guys all trying to apologize for ruining the night you worked so hard for just for them to ruin it all.

❥ Safe to say, it took at least 2 months for you to even acknowledge any of them as your friends after that so lesson learned.

❥ Overall, you love your friend groups but jesus christ they have some problems but nonetheless they’re special to you, even if some days you want to just kill them all.

[tryingtofindava]

Kyle and craig with a little sister who is kinda bratty? Like shes grumpy and stuff and “mean” and all that but she has a soft spot like all kids do? Shes got to much attitude for her tiny body😭 love you have a good day:3

──𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 ‘𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐧’! 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫*ೃ༄

: ̗̀➛Back to Source

╰┈➤ 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐞

He had a feeling your fiery temper may involve him since he also had mood problems/anger issues.

Beef battles between you and Ike go crazyyy

It baffles him every time you get all soft on him, though he finds it endearing that you feel comfortable enough with him that you take down your walls.

He’s literally gobsmacked, he deadass forgets your like 5 with the attitude problem you have.

And it’s honestly just a total vibe when you’re both in good moods, no talking, fighting, or bickering. Just a comfortable silence (exept for Ike’s obnoxiously loud coco melon playing in the background…)

Though when you get all sassy with him he’s just one of those kinda big brothers that have no problem getting sassy back.

And will make fun of you constantly for being so small but having so much attitude.

But if he’s in a bad mood (*cough* bcs of Cartman *cough*) he WILL snap back at you if you get a little too irritating.

He finds it funny when you grill Cartman.

╰┈➤ 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠

The constant flipping off battles go wild.

He won’t ever admit it out loud, but he definitely accidentally taught you how to flip the bird when you were like a newly born baby.

I feel like he’d also forget your like 5, but he Wouldn’t show that he’s genuinely surprised when your sour attitude turns sweet.

You and Tricia team up on him a lot together, he feels so attacked that his two little sisters go against him all the time.

(If u want to request more South Park x reader I strictly only write platonic stuff<3)

[moth-related-inquiries]

hi I was wondering if you could do Kenny's babysitter? Love your other babysitter'reader works BTW.

Kenny and Babysitter! Reader

Thanks so much for your request! I hope you enjoy it! I'm probably gonna redo this and all my other babysitter things at some point. I feel as though Kenny is a little more adult compared to all of the other boys, but that's not gonna stop me from having fun.

-☆) Originally, you were only meant to babysit Kenny as a form of repayment to his mother.

-☆) When you scored your first job as an Olive Garden waitress, Carol was the one to train you. Despite her aggressive attitudes, the two of you got along quite well. She even took over your shifts!

-☆) Your heart ached when you learned that she had three kids to take care at home, yet she still took over your shifts for you. So, you decided to help her out the best you could.

-☆) It's safe to say that you loved the McCormicks and even now they consider you a family friend.

-♡) Anyways... enough about you... At first, Kenny didn't really mind your presence. You were kind of just an extra person who showed up at the house every afternoon before he left.

-♡) His interest was only piqued when, as he was about to leave his house to head for school, you stopped him at the doorway and handed him a small plastic box.

-♡) "Something I picked up for you the other day, Ken. I know you like the Revengers, but I thought this guy was really cool, too."

-♡) He waved that Deadpool action figure around all week. Nonstop.

-♡) Cartman was furious because, being the little rat that he is, he looked up the price of Kenny's figure and realized it was the better version of his.

-♡) it was finally Kenny's turn to laugh in his face.

-♡) This moment opened his eyes and made him realize that you weren't a random social worker but actually just someone who cares about his family.

-♡) From this moment forward, Kenny grew more and more interested in you and your presence in his home.

-♡) He was particularly fond of how you treated his siblings. You really thought he wouldn't notice Karen's new Barbie collection?? Kevin's new pair of shoes!? How they both shined and smelled like strawberries when they came back from your house??!?!?!?

-☆) It got to the point where Kenny, a kid who normally sticks to himself, finally asked if you'd babysit him, too.

-☆) His mind was blown when, for your first time babysitting him, you took him to Chuck E Cheese.

-☆) AND YOU GOT HIM 100 TOKENS?!!?? There's no way that you're not secretly a billionaire.

-☆) When the two of you got to your house, he was shocked to find that you definitely weren't a millionaire. I mean, you live in a tiny apartment with scarce furniture. On top of that, you're in college?!

-☆) He ran around your house, looking at all your nerd paraphernalia and sitting on your small yet comfy couch.

-☆) You noticed that, with the McCormicks, they didn't care how empty your house was like other kids usually did.

-☆) There were other kids who'd quickly grown bored at your house because you didn't really have anything entertaining other than a console, tv, and some snacks.

-☆) He practically leapt into your lap when you offered to play the newest street fighter with him.

-☆) it's safe to say that, despite your lack of entertainment, Kenny thoroughly enjoyed himself. He was used to being left to his own devices and ending up in trouble (And usually dying) but this was a nice change of pace.

-☆) For once in his life, he felt fully safe and comfortable to be himself.

BONUS

When you were headed back to your house late at night, it was dark enough to make your skin crawl. If it wasn't for the snow, which forced you to trek far too slowly for your liking, then it was certainly the area you were in. South Park itself was sometimes too quiet at night. There were so many incidents that happened in broad daylight, so you had to be incredibly careful when you were headed home like this.

Thankfully, you had never encountered anything awful.

You had made it all the way to the school when you stopped to rifle through your pockets. As you finished pulling out your chapstick, loud crunches of snow echoed straight toward you. Eyes shut and body instinctively curling up, you fully expected to be shoved face first into the snow and break your nose, but nothing happened.

You whipped around, eyes wide, but there was nothing. There was nobody for miles. Just you, South Park, and the deafening snow.

Well, there was nothing except a trail leading directly toward you. Cautiously, you stepped closer and followed it with your eyes. It led right to the school and made a sludgy wet trail up the wall and onto the roof. Your heart sank. There stood a strange and dark figure. His cape flapped wildly in the wind, a noise which you first mistook for the sound of the flagpole.

-

When you're headed back to your house late at night, it's dark enough to make your skin crawl. If it wasn't for the snow, which forced you to trek far too slowly for your liking, then it was certainly the area you were in. South Park itself is sometimes too quiet at night. There are so many incidents that happen in broad daylight, so you have to be incredibly careful when you're headed home like this.

Thankfully, you'd never encountered anything awful.

You'd made it all the way to the school when you stopped to rifle through your pockets. As you finished pulling out your chapstick, loud crunches of snow echoed straight toward you. Eyes shut and body instinctively curling up, you fully expected to be shoved face first into the snow and break your nose, but nothing happened.

You whipped around, eyes wide, but there was nothing. There was nobody for miles. Just you, South Park, and the defeaning snow.

Well, there was nothing except a trail leading directly toward you. Cautiously, you stepped closer and followed it with your eyes. It lead right to the school and made a sludgy wet trail up the wall and onto the roof. Your heart sank. There stood a strange and dark figure. His cape flapping wildly in the wind, a noise which you first mistook for the sound of the flagpole.

He stared at you, eyes boring into your soul. You couldn't see his face, yet you felt his stare on you. "Go," the deep voice muttered. It was then that you noticed the man crushed underneath his foot.

Time felt infinite as you bolted away from the school and straight to your house. You finally stopped to catch your breath, moaning and panting as if you'd run a marathon. After you caught your breath, your body unclenched. A glance down at your mitten-clad hand made sure your favorite-flavored chapstick was still intact.

Wow. You really risked your life for some fucking chapstick.

Thanks so much for your request! I hope you enjoyed it! I feel as though Kenny is a little more adult compared to all of the other boys, but that's not gonna stop me from having fun.

[se0nghwaaa]

🦩 being in the main 4s friend group !! (fluff obvi) ☀️

if u get a crush, be prepared to here 2 diff things.

“y/n how many times have i told u, stop being delulu” from cartman and kenny

and then

“y/n don’t listen to them, yeah u should shoot ur shot!” from stan and kyle

imagine ft calls at like 11:36 pm.. ON SUMMER BREAK TOO

“hey y/n i’m jealous of ur heart.” -kenny

“and why is that 🤨” -y/n

“because it’s pounding inside of u and i’m not.” *white tee by summer walker starts playing* -kenny

“W RIZZ🔥🔥🔥🔥” -cartman

*kyle and stan just privately texting each other*

imagine y’all did talent shows and like one of y’all is a judge.. LMAOO

“alr next is kenny mcormick.” -kyle

*body by megan thee stallion starts playing*

“BODY YADYYADYADY” -kenny

“ur fucking weird… next.” -kyle

* u and cartman r rofl while stan records *

don’t ask why but kenny would smack ur ass like randomly. like when he’s behind u and he realizes he has the chance to smack that dumptruck of urs hes gonna do it.

*smack*

“OW WTF KENNY?..” -y/n

“it wasn’t me it was kyle!” -kenny

“r u serious rn.” -kyle

y’all go over to kyles to study! (y’all never study)

“look at how ___ looks rn😭” -y/n

“they look like a dehydrated horse.” -cartman

“can y’all actually do work instead of copying me.” -kyle

“sowwy kylie wylie… i didn’t mean to….” -y/n

“get out of my house rn.” -kyle

_____

im sorry that’s all u guys get😭..

requests r open *giggles cutely*

[summ3rg4l]

May I request a platonic x reader for the main boys. Where they learn the reader is a girl somehow but before they were all under the belief she was a boy and that she didn’t care to much about her gender to correct them (like a Haruhi Fujioka situation)

I really didn’t know what to write so it’s pretty short tbh

“Wait wait wait! You’re telling that that this whole time we’ve been hanging out with a chick!?”

Cartman stares at you completely perplexed on how he didn’t see that you were a girl the whole time.

“Mghf Mghf Mghf?”

“Ewww Kenny…”

“I just didn’t think it was that important.” You shrugged dismissively and put your hands into your pockets.

“NOT THAT IMPORTANT!?!? How do we know that you’re not a spy that the girls sent to get more information from us!” Cartman narrows his eyes.

“That’s retarded fatass.” Kyle rolls his eyes and crosses his arms

“Yeah why would the girls send a spy?”

“I don’t really see why my gender matters.”

“Guys come here for a second.” Cartman ushers for the other three boys to follow him away from you. After a few seconds you hear Kyle yell. “We’re not killing (name) Cartman!”

“It’s the only way kahl! We have to kill her before she gives away all of our secrets!” He looks back at you “Hey (name). Nothing going on here just chatting Y’know.”

[ceruleanchronicle]

HIIIII ive officially decided your my favorite writer and we are best friends so yeah 😜😜 I was wondering if we could get an Eric cartman with a older sister, platonic of course, how would he act with that??? 🤔🤔whatever format you want, not picky thank youuuu 👻👻

Omg you have no idea how much you saying I'm your favorite author means to me! Yes, we are so besties now LOL.

Idk if you could tell but I had fun writing this one

Warnings: Eric mf Cartman, Liane is lowkey a bad mom, cursing ofc

Being Eric Cartman's older sister

So, you're about Shelly's age and are actually really good friends with her and Kenny's brother, Kevin

You're the sanest person in your entire house. your mother and brother are actually batshit crazy. Example: Once you walked into the living room to see your mom and Eric pointing a gun at each other and you just turned right back around because you did NOT wanna deal with that

Liane puts you in charge of Eric and plays favorites with Eric obviously being her sweet baby angel who does no wrong. You're forced to take on a more "parental" role in most, if not all, situations.

Butters has a little puppy crush on you. Eric is so mad when he finds out. He's very protective lol

You bought him his Clyde Frog stuffie for Christmas one year and that's why it's his favorite

When the main 4 hang out at yours and Eric's house, you usually make them all something to eat. Especially for your brother cuz he's a fatass and Kenny considering his home situation

70% of the time you bail the main 4 out of trouble but the rest of the time they deserve whatever they got into, and you tell them to get over it

You can try to talk him out of it all you want, but he's still going to do whatever he wants and will NOT listen to you

Cartman is always looking for ways to get what he wants, and that might mean taking your stuff without asking. As his older sister, you'd have to hide your things carefully and make sure he doesn’t mess with your personal space.

Runs to you to complain about something Kyle said just for you to agree with Kyle and Eric gets SO pissy about it

You for sure cheered Wendy on when she was kicking his ass in that one episode

While Cartman is mostly selfish and manipulative, he really appreciates having you as a sister. You might even become the one person he trusts in his own weird, twisted way.

Hope these are good LOL

[kwnnys]

— kyle, eric, & kenny w a dirty minded reader (platonic) !

hcs : g/n reader a/n : this idea was haunting my mind and I js had to write it 😓😓 also I originally wanted to add stan but I had no ideas for him sorry 😭😭 warning(s) : nsfw mentions

— kyle broflovski

DUDE IS TIRED OF YOUR SHIT.

you and cartman are the reason why hes this close to going insane

you love bothering him with silly jokes that make his face as red as his hair, bursting out laughing as he pinches the bridge of his nose

especially in public. you two would be sitting beside each other in the assembly hall when you randomly get a dirty thought. grinning evilly as you whisper said thought in the gingers ear.

his head will immediately cock towards you and he'll give you the most DISGUTING and STANKIEST expression known to man.

you only laugh it off.

you also like to bother him with 'does the carpet match the drapes?' questions, to which he always refuses to answer.

physically gags whenever he sees you staring at some person all drooly.

you draw dicks on his homework when he isn't looking. in pen.

— eric cartman

one of the few people that actually tolerates your shitty humor.

he snorts at most of your jokes, and he considers you as his 3rd best friend after butters and kenny.

you two like tag teaming against stan and kyle whenever they get TOO close, much to the disappointment of the duo.

"I love you, kyle" "I love you too, dude" "jesus, why don't you two go and makeout at this point." "yeah, grind on each others dick while you're at it!"

usually ignores you when your gawking at some hot person, but occasionally tells you to shut up.

he does get annoyed sometimes when you're restless and joke around too much for one day.

HATESS whenever you make jokes about his mom. will literally throw hands and tell on you.

calls you a horny virgin

used to rip on you 24/7 till you 'jokingly' said you were into it.

— kenny mccormick

the most iconic duo ever.

the only person that understands you and your dirty mind 😞

you guys CONSTANTLY ogle at random hot people, whispering and giggling to each other as said person just stares at you two in concern.

you both also exchange playboy magazines all the time. and you two are hella sketchy when doing so.

"got the goods, ken?" "yeah, got it right here"

the group thought you were doing drugs at first tbh.

you and kenny are always fueling dumb ideas and questions into each others minds

you two are also each others wingman/wingwoman 🤝

you guys made a pact a few years ago that if at 35 you were both still single, you'd get married

jokes about who has the bigger dick constantly (even funnier if you're afab)

kenny is probably the kind of guy to moan randomly during class, you both think its the funniest shit ever.

you guys like to buy flavored lube and rate it. probably also fed it to cartman once telling him it was some candy.

[pinkrifle]

Hello wonderful person!! I’m not sure if your requests are open, if not, just save this for when they are. Could you write hc’s for the main 4 + butters (or just one person if that’s too much) with a Canadian reader? (Except they don’t look like the Canadians in south park, maybe they were born in America but grew up in Canada, or were just adopted or something 💀) And at some point they nonchalantly bring up being Canadian and the group is so confused because they somehow had no clue (even though the reader fits practically all the stereotypes; too nice, says eh, watches hockey religiously, etc.) Just kinda what the aftermath of that would be? This actually happened to me a while ago and I’m still flabbergasted bc idk how my American friends didn’t know I was Canadian 😭 (they now refuse to call me anything other than ‘canuck’, maybe you could incorporate that) Ok this request is getting kinda long so I’ll let you do the rest, have a great day! :)

have no fear! i love long requests, it gives me more to work with ^^ also i’m srry if this isn’t how you wanted it to be i dnt know much about canada and stuffs 🫶 also i’m so sorry this is short, i kinda didn’t know where to go with this <3

— butters + main 4 finding our reader’s canadian!!

cws/tw’s: none

———————————————————————————————

— Kyle B !

was 100% not surprised, he probably knew it before you even thought abour telling him

but he is a little more confused when you tell him

i mean, you do fit the traits, nice, your a severe hockey lover.. but you don’t look canadian? 🤨

but his brother is canadian too, so whenever you come over he always brings ike to you!!

he hates when ppl try to take advantage of you for your kindness, it’s just a perk of being canadian!

“WAIT YOUR.. CANADIAN?? i mean. uh. your canadian? 😙 my brothers canadian!! maybe you guys know eachother…. wanna come over later?!”

— Stan M !

another one who suspected you were Canadian, surprisingly. but didn’t really mention it.

would 100% watch hockey games with you when you hang out even tho he doesn’t know wtf to do in hockey 😭 he jus loves his friends

loves the way your so nice, it makes him feel amazing!! definitely a nice replacement for cartman (kyle agrees, 100000%)

when you go over to his house, your always so nice to shelly even though shes a little bit of an ass, to you and to her turd brother.

his ass loves that maple syurp snow thing and makes it everytime you come over!!!!!!!!! (with ice instead of snow, if y’all don’t feel like going outside)

“CALLED IT. i so called it.. so.. do you know how to make that maple syurp snow thing or not?.. 👀 oh uh my fave hockey team,,uhhh the yankees?—”

(clueless man. i love clueless man.)

— Eric C !

100% ripped on you before you told him. but rips on you even more when you tell him 😈 black air forces energy

pretends to be scared of you when you come over to them in the bus stop, and clings to kyle.

then he realizes kyle is also “part canadian” because of his brother (even tho he’s adopted 💀)

he gives you puppy dog eyes and a weak apology a few hours later. you accept &lt;3

he definitely takes advantage of your kindness, but hes really grateful for it since you don’t beat his ass every 4 seconds because of his recklessness

“WHA? EWWW!! FUCKJG CANADIAN 👻 KAHLL HELP ME!! oh— WAIT UOU FRICKIN JEW CANADIAN!! GET OFF OF ME >:(”

“i’m sowwywyy🥺 sowwwyyy 🥺🥺 so sorrryyy 🥺 can we be friends again i like canada 🥺🥺 (has a piece of paper with the canada flag on it taped on his shirt)”

— Kenny M !

dirty jokes, doesn’t matter what gender u are 😟.

doesn’t really care what you are, kinda just wants to hang out with you regardless. loves how your super nice too, and super caring when he dies :((( feels bad when he wakes up but he’s glad you don’t remember (surprisingly)

(also forgets your canadian like 2 hours later you tell him, forgive him 💔)

likes watching hockey with you, gets into it just cause of u!! also enjoys that maple syurp snow thing as much as stan, him and stan make it all the damn time!!

“cana-ussy huhuhuhu.. oh yeah. good for you! me and stan uhh we like those maple syrup candy things :3 i think you’ve heard that enough from stan tho.”

— Butters S !

very excited when you tell him!! wants to know ALL about canada and bugs you for days.

you guys are both super duper nice, and he always feels so warm around you knowing you actually care about him &lt;3

doesn’t care that your canadian, but he does find it cool as hell!! tries to like hockey, but it’s too confusing for him ,,,

puts a small picture of the canadian flag in his room and shows it to you when you come over (it’s so precious)

he tells his parents all about canada, whatever you tell him!! they don’t find it interesting but who gives a damn, they suck

“O HAMBURGERS, that’s amazing! how come you didn’t tell me sooner?! do you like hockey? what part of canada are you from? wh—” literally asks 100 questions, but you love ur bestie

———————————————————————————————

once again i’m so sorry this is so short :( i didn’t know how to interpret it, but i hope you do like it!

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

*Bruce, Y/N, and Dick sitting around a table, eating dinner*

Dick: Y/N… well? Do you want to tell your father about what happened at school today?

Y/N: *looks up in confusion* Um… O-oh. I flunked my math quiz.

Dick: No! The other thing!

Bruce: *now concerned* What other thing? What happened at school today?

Y/N: *thinking about it* Oh, the school shooting?

Dick: *clearly exasperated* Yes! The school shooting!

Y/N: *going back to eating* Oh, yeah. Some kid shot up the school.

Bruce: Who shot up the schoo- Was it you?

Y/N: No.

Bruce: Did you get shot?

Y/N: No.

Bruce: Oh. *goes back to eating* What’s this about failing a math quiz?

Dick: Are you serious?! Did you not hear what your child just said?! Kids died at the school!

Bruce: *surprised* I’m sorry, Dick, I-

Dick: Why are you all acting like this is normal? What is wrong with you people?! *gets up and storms away*

Y/N: What’s up his ass?

Bruce: *shrugs and continues eating*

[pineappleciders]

Yoo hoo !! I’d like to request Butters, Craig, Wendy, and/or Tweek with a reader who is their older sibling. The reader is in their late teens & has the sarcastic older sibling thing going on, like the same vibes as Rodrick Heffley, Kat Stratford, or Daria. Thank you ^^

butters, craig, wendy, and tweek with a stereotypical older sibling reader

A/N: i'm the youngest out of 4 and my brother was very rodrick coded so this is based off that also i love this gif

butters stotch

honestly being raised by the same parents it's a miracle you didn't turn out exactly like him LMFAO

he is constantly getting noogies from you and whenever you high-five or pat his back you do it way too hard and he goes "owie" and then giggles. or cries idk

if you drive him around or pick him up from school he's always asking if you can stop at mcdonald's and gets all sheepish when you deadpan at him

looooves piggy back rides. put him on your shoulders or back and like pretend you're an airplane and he loves it. and then like throw him onto the bed and he gets all giddy and tells you to do it again

he's always knocking on your door and asking you to play or draw with him. he gets sad if you ignore him or tell him to go away

always dragging you into his games!!!!! like you don't want to but he does puppy eyes to get u to roleplay as professor chaos' enemy (or sidekick!) and if he makes you play with the rest of the kids too they all cry super hard when you destroy them😭😭(esp cartman)

he would forever think ur awesome if you got payback on cartman for him. like idk beat eric up or threaten him and butters thinks you're the coolest person in the world

craig tucker

lots of middle fingers. lots of them

when he flips you off you tug his middle finger up and slam it under his nose (like the 'you have something on your shirt' thing but with his middle finger LOL) and he gets all pissy after

you had to put a 'fuck off' sign on your door to get him to stop annoying you whenever he's bored. you two are always competing for your parents to take your side

you love to tease him about tweek. like you twirl your hair and giggle and kick your feet on his bed talking about how he's finally getting bitches while he's trying to do homework

you keep hiding his hats but somehow he always has another. he's like charlie brown but with blue chullo hats

lots of punching. you punch his arm all the time or swat his head and at first he retaliates but then you hit him even harder and he stops (albeit angrily)

trolls you all the time by messing up your room and fucking idk. he seems like the type of dude to set up a treasure hunt to find like your phone he hid or something LOL he sets up riddles and everything

you beat him up for it

calls you emo when you go through a phase and bullies you for it. you call him a homo and he shuts up

wendy testaburger

you're always ruffling her hair and flicking her forehead. like just in normal conversation it's a habit to flick her head or nose to emphasize a point

she definitely comes to you a lot about her problems, like socially and stuff. always ranting to you about stan in your bed and you're just praying that she shuts the fuck up

you have helped her with a lot of her issues though!!!!! like it's reluctant but you give her a lot of good advice about boys and friendships. even if you gag whenever she brings up her boyfriend

i imagine you listening to like. hard rock or metal when you're going through an edgy phase and wendy either makes fun of you for it or comes into your room and starts headbanging with you. probably both

always wants you to play games and do stuff with her. like she gets barbie and the twelve dancing princesses and is scratching and begging at your door for you to try it with her

and she LOVES just dance. you're like flopped on the couch out of breath because you're old as shit and she's like happily dancing away without breaking a sweat

if you're a girl, she's always making you sleep in her room and do skincare and girl stuff. she calls it 'girls night'. if you aren't a girl she still does it but she doesn't call it that LOL. makes fun of you if you don't want to do it because it's 'for girls'

tweek tweak

if you hit him he hits you back. hit him harder he hits you harder. he gets his ass beat but he is determined not to go down without a fight!!!!

when you work the same shift at tweek bros you're constantly slacking off and blackmailing him into doing all the work and not telling ur parents LMFAO. it annoys him so much

you spook him with like scary stories and stuff because you know he freaks out over it. and you regret it when he comes into your room at 2 am with a blanket asking to sleep in your bed tonight

he tells all his friends how you 'torture and bully him' and how much he hates your guts. but he really can't deny that he appreciates you when you're helping him with a panic attack

asks you how to be cool. you tell him you were just born that way and that he'd never be as cool and awesome as you are. he got sad

he isn't the type of sibling to tattle to your parents, but he will if he's trying to blackmail you or get you to do something for him. and he gets all smug about it too

tease him about craig and he gets super defensive. you pick him up by his collar like a kitten and he flails around all angry. it's hilarious but he forever holds u to a grudge for it

[halliestinks]

Hi, i was wondering if you could do some wholesome headcannons for Y/N (who acts like Douchebag in the sot game) Thats like a sister to Cartman. His mother adores her and he likes to bully her. But when others do it hes like "No only i can >:/"

Cartman w/ reader who’s like a sister to him

a/n: this is an old request that’s been sitting in my inbox for over 2 yrs, decided to write it as my first request since i’ve returned :3

• oh boy, cartman as a brother figure could be both great and awful.

• having first met you he would notice how quiet and chill you are, trying to get you to crack on many different occasions (failing miserably everytime). he never really cared too much about you. however once you started to spend more time with him and you found yourself at his house quite often, you developed an unexpected sibling bond with him

• he would definitely take advantage of your silence whenever he asks for a favour, immediately roping you into any and all of his problems. (kind of like butters— however he doesn’t screw you over as much)

• the teasing is the worst part. he knows exactly what ticks you off and how to break your silent facade

“HAHAHA YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE!!”

“… 🙂”

• he knows when to stop though

• he unfortunately learnt his lesson after you beat the crap out of him for pushing you way past your limit!! (i just love sibling bonding experiences)

• aside from all of that… cartman is actually really fun to be around when he’s not being an asshole. the two of you usually spend your time together playing video games and doing random shit outside in the snow

• his mom absolutely adores you!!! she would constantly ask cartman if you would be coming over to their place later, always making sure to cook extra for dinner just in case

• cartman definitely gets jealous over his mom pampering you, thinks that she should pay more attention to her real son. and to piss him off even more, his mom always makes sure he shares everything with you

“but myeeeem… those are my cheesy poofs 🤬”

“😈😈”

• cartman’s mom is completely oblivious to any of the sibling rivalry, instead tells cartman he just needs to learn to share

• both of you have a silent agreement to always stick up for each other if either of you are being bullied, (not that cartman really needs help)

• i don’t think cartman would straight up defend you, however he would take your side in more subtle ways

“come on guys, let’s cut y/n some slack… otherwise she’ll get all depressed and probably start crying..”

“😐”

• but if anyone ever hurt you physically or did bully you to the point of actually hurting you, cartman will find out and go on a tangent about how he’s the only person who’s allowed to do that. plus if he’s in a bad mood then he’d probably figure out a way to ruin their life

• anyways.. at the end of most days, you find yourself sleeping on the floor in cartman’s room (he kicks you off his bed) and the two of you stay up late having silly conversations— finding yourselves laughing so hard to the point of tears

• until his mom comes in and tells you to go to bed because it’s a school night 🙄

• the two of you never listen, secretly doing an all nighter then feeling like absolute crap the next day. (it’s just a nightly tradition at this point)

• a lot of kids at school mistake you two for actually being related, which never fails to make you smile

• maybe he isn’t such a bad non biological brother after all

[picklebunbun]

adoptive parent! reader + kenny, karen, and kevin

_____________★彡✩ミ★_____________

hc or oneshot/series?: Headcannons

gn reader, they/them prns

genre: bit of angst, fluff

romantic/platonic?: platonic

fandom: South Park

cw: mentions of abuse, mentions of child neglect, mentions of horrible living conditions

~~~

scenario

you’ve heard of how horribly these three kids at south park were being treated, you’re heart immediately ached for them

they were all staying at a foster home, yiu’ve decided to adopt them

their clothes were raggedy with a few hole here and there, they had dirt all over their bodies and looks like they haven’t in years

actual hc

when the three went to your house, it was basically luxury than the house that they used to live in. Touching every little thing in your house

even though he’s the oldest out of the three, Kevin had no idea how to bathe himself or brush his teeth, so when teaching him these things, it was basically like mentoring a toddler

it certainly was nice to eat something other than half eaten poptarts and ice, you actually had a shocked face when seeing how skinny all of them were

Kenny would actually like a room with his little sister, he was always terrified that something would happen to Karen and he wouldn’t be there to stop it

Karen would make you play dress up with her, since she could actually get dolls and dresses. Karen definitely uses up all her princess makeup {not that good on actually putting it on}

During dinnertime, it was really hard to get used to, Karen always got scared of being yelled at for saying anything. Honestly, “dinnertime” back at the old house always made Kenny sick in the stomach but was pleasantly confused when it really wasn’t as bad as he thought

all of their moods significantly approved, even looking and smelling better at school. A lot of students were confused on how different they looked

it would be very wise to block out any 🌽 sites, just incase

the first month/week was extremely tough, it was pretty hard to get them to fully trust you, it’s not that they’re ungrateful, they’ve just gone through so much that it’s difficult to

When they do, it’s really nice, you get to have one-on-one conversations with you. It’s also nice to see them comfortable in your house rather than stand in the corner, scared

Kenny’s friends talk about the sudden change “is that your new parent?“ “yeah they’re really sweet!“ “thank god we don’t have to smell you anymore“

Kevin really likes racecars and comic books, he never had a chance to become an actual teenager and mostly fished with his dad, which he didn’t really like. So, when you bought him those things as a surprise for his birthday, he was absolutely estatic, jumping up and down

Karen likes getting her hair brushed, ever since she saw tangled, she sang the “healing“ song everytime you brush her hair. Karen also wears her Rapunzel tiara all the time, she likes the way it looks!

It was a little confusing seeung Kennt in a princess costume, but it really doesn’t matter, if he wanted to be a princess then he can {even if it’s for a stupid roleplay} you did his make-up and everything, which was nicely done may I add

In all seriousness, you seriously saved them, they can finally be normal kids and not have to worry if they have to eat the grass to survive tommorrow

~~~