#i feel so strongly about this for no reason

[melrosing]

How do you feel about the JB age gap? Some people feel it is problematic and I wondered what you thought

tbh I once wrote like 500 words in response to an ask like this explaining why I don’t have a problem w the age gap and trying to justify it but atp I don’t think it’s even worth that level of dissection. I don’t need to justify it. Jaime and Brienne are both consenting adults and that’s really all there is to it.

as for the people who say it’s ‘problematic’ - honestly I don’t believe that they’re genuinely sat there troubled by the jb age gap. they’re reading asoiaf, where there are literally hundreds of other things they could be worrying about than two adults having consensual sex.

maybe there are a few people out there for whom the age gap is a bit of a personal ick, and like…. ok go with god if that’s you. but most of these people just don’t like the pairing because they ship a competing pairing/they don’t like Jaime and have made that part of their fandom identity/they enjoy maintaining a ‘Brienne deserves better’ shtick without ever meaningfully engaging with Brienne as a character (probably for one of the two former reasons actually), and the age gap discourse is how they try and make out that actually they’re right for hating jb and you should feel guilty and ashamed if you ship it.

and sorry to those people but I don’t feel bad at all. and I also don’t believe they truly give a shit, it’s purely performative and they’re just making up contrived reasons to make other ppl feel bad, bc that’s what fandom does.

ultimately if there’s any party equipped to be discussing the age gap, it’s jb fandom who are actually interested in the role it plays within the relationship. but really all it comes down to is the fact that Brienne has been an adult woman since she met Jaime (ppl will pretend she was 17 in ASOS to make their point and they’re lying - or what like you say you feel strongly about this but you can’t even check the wiki to see if you have ur facts straight?? lol), so w/e.

[bwat5-blog]

Quick Response To Some Nonsense

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Hello all, no fancy lead in today just a response to some recent stances taken on Cait/Vi, in particular their breakup. Of course this is simply my interpretation, but I felt strongly enough seeing it that it was worthy of a refutation. As I am keeping this centered on the stances themselves and my responses I won't be doing my usual laying the groundwork, so if you have any questions feel free to ask or check out my other stuff! Let's dive in!

The primary reason Caitlyn shuts down and does what she does is because Vi took the choice away from her after they had agreed on it. And that Caitlyn had lived a life always struggling to be able to make her own choices because of her parents: Okay, on the surface, totally fair. Yes, they had agreed on a plan as to how this had to go down and Vi stopped Caitlyn from carrying it out. However, there is SO MUCH MORE going on here.

First and foremost, Vi's reasons for stopping Caitlyn at this point are irrelevant. Because of Isha. Listen folks, If you have watched these characters all the way to this point, and you honestly feel that either of them would intentionally do something that risks the life of a child, I just cannot agree with you. Caitlyn has only shown herself to be a kind and caring person ever since we meet her. These folks wanted to use two factors to show that Vi would not have cared about Isha being hurt to prove that it was all about Jinx.

A- Vi doesn't have a particular adverse reaction to Renni's son dying

B- Vi doesn't seem to care about hitting Isha and doesn't stop when she does

A: Renni's Son-

This is the boy killed who is working in the Shimmer lab that Jayce and Vi attack. Jayce accidentally kills him with a blast from his hammer. So regarding the allegation that Vi doesn't seem to particularly care. Context, as always, is our friend folks. Jayce is backing out because of the death when they were quite literally starting their attack on Siloc's entire operation. So what does Vi actually say-

"You've always been a part of this, you just never had to look it in the eye. One dead kid? There's hundreds more where he came from, thanks to Silco. And thanks yo people like you, who stuck their heads in the dirt. "

Jayce leaves, Vi very clearly stands over the body and sighs, her eyes wet with tears. And yes she gets back to business. Because as she said. This is about so much more than one dead kid.

B: Hitting Isha-

Okay, I love Isha to. But this is not the first time she jumps in the middle of an adult situation and gets hurt. But anyway, the allegation here is that Vi really had no issue hitting her and didn't stop because of it. Isha quite literally bites Vi on her wraps. You know, the part of her that is probably in constant pain from months of pit fighting and no self care. Also, Jinx and Vi literally stop at the same time when they realize what happened.

Also, lets not forget this handy-dandy little moment where Vi quite literally throws herself in front of Isha to save her from Vander:

Additionally, to allege that the reason Caitlyn reacts to such an extreme agree is simply that Vi robbed her of her choice is to deny the absolutely crushing trauma Caitlyn has been/is dealing with. She is literally face to face with the monster of her nightmares, and is being denied her revenge. Every fight-or-flight, primal, lizard brain part of her is screaming that Jinx is the most dangerous thing in the world, and the woman Caitlyn loves is standing in front of her. I go more into the signs of Caitlyn's traumatic episode in another document but to suffice it to say, it doesn't seem like Caitlyn was really aware of exactly what all was going on in that chamber. Vi called her repeatedly and all Caitlyn could say was "move! she's not getting away again!" never responding to anything else Vi was saying. Caitlyn fired her rifle twice striking Vi's gauntlet once even and was not deterred. She is NOT doing okay

***FYI- I had a lovely conversation with the person who made this first point. I misunderstood them. Their point was through Caitlyn’s perception of the event while factoring her mental state. So I stand by analysis of the scene but calling out this first point was my error***

2. "I thought you were different.. but your not. It's her blood in your veins"- whoo boy. Okay, The users are more or less defending Caitlyn's anger and her saying this as her realizing that ultimately Vi's loyalty is with Jinx because they believe Vi stopped her because of Jinx, and by extension someone who has done A-Z of fucked up things to Caitlyn. Again I am just about the furthest thing from a Jinx apologist but I don't have time for the list at the moment.

I will repeat, did Vi stop it because she saw Powder in Jinx's face, and because her sister told her she was glad it was her killing her? Entirely possible. But ultimately what it comes down it Caitlyn is enraged because Jinx got away, and Caitlyn's solution to that was to take the shot with a hex tech rifle that had been glitching, and could have killed a child.

No as to what Caitlyn actually said, because one of their points was about Vi's comeback. A few points:

A- Caitlyn knows all of Vi and Jinx history by now including Vi's crushing guilt over what happened

B- Caitlyn knows Vi carries the guilt for her mother's death because Vi asked Caitlyn not to shoot

C- Caitlyn knows what it meant for Vi to put on the uniform and come here with her, and still doubts her

D- Caitlyn literally alleges that Vi is no different than Jinx, who has caused all of this pain and suffering, because her blood is the same, tainted in the same way

3. "Than why are you the one acting like her?"- Essentially here they are just saying that Vi was looking to wound, looking for the low blow, and that not enough attention was given to how fucked up this was to say, especially because Caitlyn had tried to do all of this the right way.

Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began And I ain't afraid to lose a life or ten If it means that I get to win in the end (woo) So I'ma do this on my own, step into the danger zone Pull the pin and watch it blow! (Arcane Hellfire)

I am not saying it wasn't a fucked up thing to say. I am saying Yall are missing the point. Vi was afraid of Caitlyn changing because she saw the violence and darkness in her. Because while yes they are doing everything the right way in the lanes technically, for Caitlyn its all for the wrong reasons. She isn't there to help the undercity, she is on a quest for revenge. And as such is surrendering her morals and values alittle at a time.

4. Caitlyn hit Vi impulsively after Vi realized she overstepped/Cait never learned her strength or how to hold back-

As Caitlyn is walking away and Vi says "why are you the one acting like her?!" she grabs Cait's arm firmly at first then relaxes her grip to a more gentle one. Caitlyn sits and breathes for a solid ten seconds before hitting Vi. That's not exactly a reflexive action. Also, Caitlyn has demonstrated a tremendous proficiency with her rifle and with increasing hand-to-hand combat over the course of the show. She knew what she was doing, and she knew where she hit her. Now was Caitlyn also drowning in the middle of a total emotional overload. Yes indeed. But this was not a shock response strike. She chose to.

Now for a few points outside of the breakup that were mentioned:

Vi was wrong to suggest that Caitlyn did not understand during their conversation about Vi putting on the badge-

Well we can do this simply. Lets compare the two.

A- Vi was standing there in sight of her parents bodies as the people responsible were still there stalking around the smoke. The people responsible all dress the same way and their look is a symbol of their institution. Now she is being asked to dress like them.

B- Caitlyn was however far away and only saw the rocket launched and smash into the building. This of course would still be very traumatic. But for better or worse there is only one Jinx and her look is her look. Unless Vi was asking Cait to put on a half-eaten circus tent, I don't think we are in the same area here.

2. Vi has a tendency to dismiss Caitlyn's trauma when something more viscerally related to her own loss is going on-

The example they provided was the conversation I listed above. Vi has literally stayed there to be there and support Caitlyn even after being yelled at by Tobias. She is supportive of catching jinx and wants to help right up until Cait offers the badge. And even after that blow up, in the wake of the memorial attack Vi shelves her own issues and agrees to be an enforcer anyways.

3. Fandom keeps giving Vi a pass like anyone from Piltover can do no wrong-

The idea of this fandom giving Vi a pass is completely and totally laughable. I'm sorry but it is. There is still a whole legion of us who blame a fifteen year old girl kneeling over her father's body, who just saw her brothers die, who just held off a legion of armed Silco goons and barely survived, for ruining Powder during one bad moment and turning her into jinx. Aside from Caitlyn's commander Arc Vi is probably the least understood character in the entire fandom.

PSSSSSST.. If it helps, they don't do redemption arcs for characters who were never in the wrong in the first place. Have a great day!

[thelonelyshore-if]

Since its Christmas 🎄. It can be naughty if you want it to be 😜How would the Ro's spend it with Mc? Also what would they like as a present 🎁 and what would they give Mc?

Oooooh I love these!! Very festive haha. Answers under the cut because, as is typical of me, this got long. 🎄🎄🎄

Beck: doesn't personally celebrate Christmas, but their family does. Would prefer spending Christmas Eve with MC--getting drunk on eggnog, going sledding or skating, baking cookies and trying to frost them before they cool, staying up late and falling asleep after sloppily making out on the couch. Christmas day they'd probably pop in to see their family--at least long enough to give their nephew a gift--but would want to get out ASAP.

When it comes to presents they receive, they like cool clothes and anything 'exciting'. Make of that what you will. When it comes to giving, they're a very impulsive gifter. They tend to grab whatever reminds them most of MC and hope for the best. That, and they'd probably make MC their favorite desert c:

Croft: much like...every other holiday, Christmas depresses the hell out of Croft. They miss their family. Especially their mom. Still, if MC felt strongly about celebrating, they'd do their best. They are fond of bad, Hallmark-y Christmas movies, so they'd want to do a marathon with cocoa and candy canes. Something simple, that allows them to get away from their emotions for a little bit.

For gifts they receive, Croft is quite picky. They like accessories and anything to do with the occult, but they don't feel like they need anything. Whatever they want, they buy for themself, so they don't really enjoy receiving gifts. Also, they will readily accept presents for Bones as presents for themself lmao. Give that cat a sweater and Croft will be thrilled.

They're a very thoughtful gift-giver. It's their love language. They get frustrated that they can't splurge on MC the way they would in the 'real world', but would still pick out the exact thing they think MC wants, and wouldn't hesitate to spend a ton of money on them.

Jay: oh, they'd want to go the whole nine yards. They love Christmas and any other holiday that lets them spend time with family. They also grew up Catholic, and while they're neutral on religion these days, Christmas mass is kind of a big one. So they'd want to spend Christmas Eve solo--just MC and them--doing romantic stuff. Exchanging gifts, hot cocoa, Christmas music, maybe go ice skating? And then Christmas morning they'd go to mass with their mom and sister (MC is invited, but Jay would 100% not expect them to come, or feel bad if they didn't). Christmas day would be a big celebration with their family and MC (and, I guess, Willow would be invited eventually lmao).

For presents, if you got them a dog they'd be the happiest person in the world lol. They also like anything 'practical'--a new pocket knife, a winter prep kit for their car, etc. They're kind of boring. That being said, new mystery novels or audio books would be great! Jay isn't as obsessive over finding the perfect gift as Croft is, but they're pretty observant. I think they'd spend a good amount of time listening to MC and trying to figure out something that they'd really want.

Perri: Christmas would be a hard one for them, for different reasons than Croft. Honestly they'd prefer to keep it kind of quiet. Making dinner together on Christmas Eve, exchanging gifts, just spending quality time together. They do really enjoy Christmas lights, so I think they'd like to also drive around town and just look at all the pretty lights. Christmas day they'd feel obligated to pop in and spend some time with their grandmother. It would be terse and short and awkward. But, that night, they would do a 'Christmas Ghost Story Spectacular' on their radio show, and they'd love MC to be a part of that!

Perri is pretty easy to shop for, because they're content with lots of different stuff. They like fun accessories and clothes, books and movies, comics, gadgets/toys, music ofc, even funny gag sort of gifts tbh. Anything that makes them smile. When it comes to giving, Perri would make MC the most carefully curated mixed tape imaginable. And also would probably buy them something small and sweet and thoughtful.

Ravi: would need to be reminded that Christmas is even coming, the man doesn't pay attention to holidays for the most part. That being said, he'd enjoy spending time with MC! He likes an excuse to get cozy and to keep MC all to himself, without any expectations to leave the house lmao. Probably would want to make dinner together on Christmas day--something over the top, especially just for the two of them. Would hang mistletoe to give him an excuse to keep stealing kisses. It would be quiet and romantic, if he had it his way.

Ravi hates presents, and doesn't ever want anything. He's a giant pain to shop for because of this. He'd appreciate something homemade--he'd find it thoughtful--but would be the type to say that spending time with MC is gift enough. You might be able to get him a puzzle or some yarn, though, and he'd be appreciative. He also, to be honest, kind of sucks at buying presents. He panics. So he'd straight-up ask MC what they wanted and buy that exact thing, or maybe knit them a scarf.

Yasmin: absolutely 100% throws a big Christmas Eve party at her house. The woman loves a party, and has a lot of friends who would rather be together than either a) alone or b) with their families. So she'd want MC there with her, to co-host and also just to be together. Get drunk, play some Christmas-y games, get a little silly with it. She'd kick everyone out eventually, though, so that she could have MC all to herself. Christmas day she'd want to spend one on one, enjoying one another's company--maybe with movies, definitely with Christmas music.

When it comes to gifts, she's pretty relaxed! There's lots of stuff she enjoys, and as long as it's clear that MC put some thought into it, she'll be happy. She likes candles and jewelry and books. As for giving gifts, Yasmin buys everyone books. Every year. She tailors said book to the person, of course--a cookbook, a guide to a hobby you've been talking about picking up, the newest novel by your favorite author--but you're getting a book. She might splurge a little bit for MC, though, since they're her partner ;)

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

What if we rewrite Madara as a hero?

We know in Naruto, most villains aren't born this way, they are often the product of their environment and also the consequence of solitude when dealing with hardships.

Kakashi was on the verge of falling in the dark side but was saved by Hiruzen. Oroshimaru was an orphan of war that developed a nihilist vision of life and absence of moral in his scientific approach. Pain is the consequence of forever war in the Rain village, the lost of his family and his friend. Gaara the absence of love, Sasuke also became briefly mean due to his hate for Itachi and later his hate for the village.

Madara shippuden

Alright so how can we rewrite Madara in order that he doesn't fall for the dark path, while keeping most elements of his life :

If you have read my serie Yin/ Yang part 1 and part 2 you know that Naruto as the MC is strongly a Yang shinobi. Naruto's mind never change. he's always the same exuberant, strong-will and stubborn character. His challenge during the whole manga is to become physically stronger. He started as doing poorly in ninjutsu, learnt by himself shadow clone technique, rasengan, to control Kyubi, to work as a friend with kyubi.

If Madara was the main character in a series centred during the warring state era, he would have Yin-type of challenge to face. His power is through dream, vision, imagination. In other world the main goal of Madara should have been to develop a power capable of changing people's heart rather than change people into becoming evil cf Obito or forcing people living inside a illusion. It's so real that Madara stated himself when he was young.

In other words what he's saying : how can we trust others? how can we be sincere and be friend with former enemies?

Have you noticed that most Yin shinobi (with Obito being the exception) don't struggle to become powerful physically. Their strength grow steadily with training and discipline. Itachi, Sasuke, or Madara, They excel at school, smart and learn techniques with time and creativity. They're downfall is... their mental instability (*Tobirama entering the chat*). The problem isn't how to get stronger but how to keep a sane mindset in order to use this power for good.

1/ Face your fear

The main obstacle for Madara achieving this is to confront his fears. He is scared of trusting people behind him and this phobia is manifested by his susanoo with two faces and four arms. It can be understand in many way, the back is the most vulnerable part of the body. It would be interesting to know if in his early childhood he has been betrayed in his back which has caused this phobia. He also doesn't trust future generation, he doesn't think they can come with better idea than him. This is a feeling that he shared with Indra : Him, alone can solve the world's problems. Obito for instance was supposed to follow a path already thought through by Madara. He despised so much others than even when he gives his plan to Obito he needs to do it in his name. That's an extreme side of egoism. "Only me can achieve this dream and I'm gonna divide myself in other me (Obito, Black Zetsu) to finish the job."

So obviously to glow up as a hero he needs to confront his fear, having children and students

2/ Accept failure & learn resilience

One of the hardest part for Madara was accepting death. I personally don't think Izuna was the only people he lost in his life, but Izuna is certainly the straw that broke the camel's back. His brother was special because he was the last one and a promise he made to himself to keep him alive. The main reason of Madara's spiralling in despair was the absence of any support (Izuna was mostly holding this role)

to rewrite we might need to invent a new character that can be this new emotional support during this moment. When Naruto is about to fall Hinata is the one bring him back. I'm thinking about a moment in Jujutsu Kaisen, the MC Yuji has lost many people he cared in a short amount of time and he's in the verge to fall apart until Todo gave him the blablajustu of his life and it works!

So this brand new character can be a friend from his clan who still trust him or a girlfriend/spouse even his mother! In my opinion a woman will perfectly do the job. Because women force men to channel their ambition into something realistic : Yes you want to conquer the world but can you pay the bills? Can you feed your child? Can you protect me? Can you built our house? Are you seriously gonna blow up Konoha and abandon your family? Also intimacy with a woman is generally the rare moment where a man fall the mask of the tough guy. It's socially more acceptable for a woman to show vulnerability but generally frown upon for men. So yeah relationship with the opposite gender is important to give them the security to express their vulnerable side. And Madara is known for his gigantic ego, I think he deserves to have in this rewriting a partner that let him fall the armour and just be himself, just be a man. Who knows, in his private garden maybe Madara is a poet and read romcom?

To illustrate the importance of women I remember Mikoto revealing to Sasuke that his father is actually his secret biggest fan.

Anyway it needs to be someone with a strong emotional wisdom able to tell him : "yes you lost Izuna and you're experiencing your biggest failure. But you can't give up now because it means all those people you loved has sacrifice their life for nothing. I believe in you, you can surpass this challenge and keep going to honour your people."

3/Don't leave Konoha... or partially but come back stronger

Ok I know weird coming from me who never defend Konoha. But if Madara is written as the hero he can't completely abandon the village.

Also contrary to other character like Sasuke : Madara is one of the founder! He's not a 12 years old and an orphan. At this period he was between 25 to 30 years old (Izuna died at 24 for reference), unpopular sure but still a well-known, experienced shinobi and powerful head of clan. He had way more leverage to influence the village than Sasuke. The village wasn't yet the strong institution and the children killer machine it would become later on. He might leave it for a while in order to improve his skills. but he has to come back to confront...Tobirama. Leaving was literally giving free hands to the Senju to build Konoha with this generational paranoia mindset toward the Uchihas. If someone should have use all his Yin power to change relationship between Senju and Uchiha it should have been Madara but he run away from his duty. Yes Tobirama is Hashirama's brother AND Izuna's murderer. But how many orphans and widows Madara himself did he create? All shinobis including Hashirama has blood on their hands. It's hard, but as a hero he has to find a way to solve this conflict.

The infinite Tsukuyomi is escapism. Reality is too hard so better live in a dream. Madara said he can see the shadow taking over the village well that is his role as someone understanding well the Yin side of chakra to prevent it. Hashirama doesn't listen to you? find an other way inside the village! And this moment was illustrated by Onoki's flashback the previous tsuchikage about not giving up his will in front of challenge. It also applied to Madara's mindset toward Hashirama. At some moment Madara became resentful rather than finding a different perspective to change the village's mindset.

Izuna's death is also the opportunity for being accountable of his own failure. Why is he misunderstood by his clansmen? Why is he hated by those in the village that he wanted to protect? If anyone has read the manga Viking, the season 2 covered something similar. the hero was first introduce has a fierce warrior motivated by vengeance, in season 2 he lost his goal and became the shadow of who he was but during this introspection he confronts his demons and came back with a new vision of the world. Why not introduce a new villain that can be confronted only by someone with a mastery of Yin release (in order to put Hashirama on the side and bring the Spotlight on Madara's power). Like the challenge that Pain was for Naruto. This new villain may force Madara to unlocked his power at a higher level. So this character must be someone mastering also Yin release. Similar to Naruto when he met Killer Bee that control Hashibi at a higher level. Since Madara is a dojutsu expert, I think of a Huyga villain for that role. Byakugan is the other greatest Dojutsu if we put aside Rinnegan. Byakugan vs Sharingan can be an insanely good fight!

4/ to put it in a nutshell

Madara has to stop being pee-shy for character's improvement

Find a partner so he won't feel alone and go crazy even in his darkest moments

having children and students could have been a good way to trust the new generation. I'm sure he would hate first having students like Kakashi in the beginning but later being the best teacher ( just look how he was the only one to see Obito's potential and made him someone even stronger than Itachi in short among of time. Being able to control Kyubi at 16 years old is incredible)

He should learn patience : yes it may take time to be valued in Konoha and as a Yin Shinobi it's his role to confront Tobirama and his bullshits.

Unlocked insane Yin release, become konoha's hero like Naruto after Pain.

Clarify the rumour that he stole his brother's eyes, just tell the truth: he gave it to you. Period. If someone ~Tobirama to not name him, disagrees he has to come fight him in the battlefield.

He could have then become the 2nd Hokage

If truly relationship has been pacify between Senju and Uchiha after a generation Konoha would have been so powerful that probably the shinobi world would have been unified with Konoha has the main power.

The World is now safer under Madara's hegemony. Black zetsu can't have any influence because he has no more weakness to exploit, Kaguya won't be awaken and the Otsutsuki won't look for her she's still sealed inside the moon and no need for Boruto to exist.

⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆☃︎‧❆₊⋆The End.⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆☃︎‧❆₊⋆

[alicenpai]

🌟 ART SUMMARY 2024 🥂

this was a year where i didnt draw a lot, despite that, i tried to make every drawing count. thank you all for the support in 2024, here's to 2025 ! 🫶

⭐ [read more starts here]

i continued my goals from last year with regards to perfectionism. the tldr is that i strongly feel my perfectionism kept me away from completing as many drawings as i could, and i had to make an effort to just finish drawings no matter how lukewarm I felt about them. 2024 was a strange year, it came and went in the blink of an eye, even more than previous years! life has been stressful, so i've been trying to focus more on myself and taking time off drawing. ironic, although i think i succeeded in that above goal, i expected to get more drawings out of it, but ended up taking more time off drawing anyways. towards the end of the year, i started feeling more burnt out, and drawing became a slow and arduous process. i think part of the reason was because 2024 was my first year doing 5 events - 2 full weekend conventions (anime north and otakuthon), and 3 single day events (bamtori fall aapi market, toronto game expo, bamtori jinglebam market), when in the past 2 years i'd just opt to do 1-2 local cons. it was also my first time doing single day events, which were super chill! although you have to both set up and tear down on the same day, i felt more casual at those events, had more time to chat and look around. back to my point - despite being fun, doing so many events took its toll on me - especially during the colder months of the year, where i wasn't so used to going to events haha! usually i take fall as the time to rejuvenate and recover from summer events, but i couldn't really do that this year. i kept questioning myself, "does this drawing have appeal? will people buy this?" "is my art hireable?" and it's just not a healthy mindset to have. next year i'll try to draw more of what i enjoy and what's on my mind, instead of worrying too much if it's sellable! *feeling like the HAHA YES sickos meme* - 2025 art goals outlined below: - oc zine (aiming for a character guide with some test comics) - character interactions & poses! e.g. dancing, hugs - generally stuff that's more difficult to draw. my art is more illustrative, but sometimes i wished it was more engaging emotionally? like i want people to smile and cry with my characters... - illustrations that challenge me. when i say illusts that challenge me it's pretty abstract - do research and gather inspiration for every illust.. compositions that are difficult/complex and take a while to draft.. strong theme.. it's more for me to understand AHAHAHA. as the years go by you can see my art becoming more unified in theme and self indulgent... i want to keep going, i want to make art that is uniquely mine. less priority: - get used to sketching! truly miss how i used to fill up sketchbooks every year - sticker sheets (this is on the less priority list bc i will probably fulfill this goal regardless) - oc merch (happy with the stickers i made in the last 2 yrs, let's keep going!) - silly things! e.g. 4koma, silly doodles. comedy is an art, it IS a skill you can study and chip away at (e.g. comedians and comedy writers). make sure i take notes on really stand-out jokes i find funny & why

other various things to try and draw more of: - group pictures - animals - layouts and props. i find layouts and anything with hard surfaces difficult to draw, which is why i draw a lot of flowers and fabric LMAO. one thing i gotta do is start by either drawing characters holding props more (easy baby steps!) and/ or start drawing props around them and make my way towards harder things (e.g. practice drawing a character sitting, i'll start by drawing a simple chair, then a table, then objects on that table). this is also one of my weaknesses - draw the ground they're standing on if possible, e.g. characters standing on a grid - vehicles, if i can. i mostly draw stuff from fantasy series where cars don't exist LOL but i'll try...

[ljblueteak]

Thinking about how Chase getting fired is discussed & seen by Chase, Cameron, House and the candidates for the new team (where Amber, Cole, and Taub separately raise the subject with him).

Chase: Seems to have accepted House’s "Because you've been here the longest, learned all you can, or you haven't learned anything at all... either way, it's time for a change" explanation from Human Error (3x24). He tells Cameron that "[House is] right; it's time for a change” when she meets up with him later in the episode.

He does also tell Cameron that "the why doesn't matter"—it was time for a change no matter what brought it about—but when Cole asks him in Guardian Angels (4x4) whether it was a "mistake" to always "put up with [House's] crap," Chase says "It was irrelevant" and that "He'll fire you either way. Eventually." My read on that (at least right now) is that he realized that he wasn't supposed to be a permanent member of House's staff and he'd have had to go eventually.

House also would have offered him his spot back in The Right Stuff (4x02) even though he had the reputation of going along with House's "crap" when he worked for him, so it seems that having put up with him really wasn't relevant. And Chase probably knew about Cameron's bet with House re: getting Cole to fight him, which is another reason the "putting up with" conversation might not have been relevant. There was more going on than Cole realized.

That's not to say Chase is 100% chill about having been fired. He doesn't want back on House's team and his instinct is to avoid getting involved in any of House's drama. Still, the show makes a point of demonstrating that he's not harboring thoughts of vengeance or out to make House miserable.

Cameron: She tries to reassure Chase in Human Error, telling him, "You know House firing you has nothing to do with you?"

She does also bring up the firing in The Itch (5x07)

Chase: You gonna keep working on this? Cameron: Yeah. I brought in the case. Chase: There is no case. He's gone. You've been tossed. This is totally nuts. Cameron: He's incredibly sick. We don't know — Chase: Forget about the patient. What is going on with you? This is why we left House's team to avoid this constant flood of pure craziness. Cameron: That's why I left House. You got fired.

I'm... not convinced that's why Cameron left. Anyway, she was annoyed when she threw being fired in Chase's face and she was trying to hurt him, but I doubt she was trying to hurt him that badly. If she'd thought Chase considered it an open wound, I don't think she'd have said it. And it's interesting that Chase himself has gotten to the point here where he's glossing over the whole involuntary nature of his departure. He definitely doesn't seem to be licking his wounds.

House: Despite very strongly believing that it's his team/his choice in terms of who's on it, and despite denying to Wilson that he feels guilty about firing Chase, The Right Stuff makes it clear he misses the original trio despite his attempts to deny it. I don't think we're supposed to buy that Chase really is just "someone [House] used to know." Wilson says re: picking a new team, "I think you're going to choose people for reasons that have nothing to do with their skills. I think you're going to choose people just because you can't stand them. Because if you like them, well, that's just, stressful." And House stares somewhat wistfully at the empty space where Chase used to be when he takes off after providing a diagnosis (and shakes his head "no" to the idea of working for House again.)

In that same episode, House tells the people competing to be on his team, "So here we are. The big moment. Which of you gets to live to be abused another day? And which of you goes home and rationalizes being fired as character building?" Sure, it's not directly related to Chase, but it's an acknowledgment that being fired doesn't feel great.

The conversation he has with Amber in Don't Ever Change (4x12) where he accuses her of sticking around in the hopes that he'll change his mind about firing her is also not about Chase, but...Chase is another blond doctor who stuck around Princeton because of his love life after having been fired by House.

In Don't Ever Change, House tries out and rejects the idea that Amber would have stuck around in the hopes that House would realize he'd made a mistake:

House: You just wanna stay in my orbit 'cause you figure I'll eventually realize that I made a mistake and you're gonna be able to rub my face in it. Amber: I can't wait. It's gonna be awesome. House: No, it's not. And you know it's not. 'Cause you know that even if I made a mistake, I'd never admit that I made a mistake. Which means that you're just toying with Wilson to toy with me.

But...he does look like he's ready to take Chase back by 4x02. He's not saying the words, "I made a mistake in firing Chase," but Amber wouldn't have been totally out of bounds in thinking that sticking around might have worked out for her. It would have for Chase. But at this point, both Amber and Chase have moved on anyway. House also considers vengeance as a motive for Amber, but he never does for Chase.

Interestingly, he overhears Cole and Chase talking about Chase's firing and is right there when Taub pressures Chase into performing surgery by claiming he'll spread the (false) word that Chase refused to work on the patient because he was angry about House having fired him and he doesn't jump in with any commentary of his own in either case.

He does yell "I could have you fired" At Chase in 97 Seconds (4x03), but imo it's pretty clear he wouldn't, actually, and Chase isn't phased.

The New Team:

They were probably already having a hard time figuring out what would get you fired and what wouldn’t because early on, you could get fired for sitting in the wrong row but you might *not* get fired for setting a patient on fire or making a mistake that contributed to a patient's death. They must have been really, really curious about what was going on with House and Chase. Chase had been on the team the longest and had been fired because....why? And when they first encounter him, House looks at him to see if he'll take the job back?

House tells Thirteen, Kutner and Taub that they need to stop worrying so much about getting fired in Frozen (4x11), but after the games and after what happened with Chase—and House's apparent nonchalance about the possibility of Cameron getting fired in that episode—how easy would that be to do?

I do love that the conversation with Amber in 97 Seconds establishes that Chase doesn’t think House is wrong even when he no longer works for him:

Amber: Do you think House could be wrong? Chase: I thought he fired you. Amber: No, he fired the men. Chase: I don't think he's wrong. Amber: If he is, how would I prove it? Chase: Just said I don't think he is. Amber: Well, thinking isn't good enough. Chase: You'd have to run a blood test for anti-centromere antibodies.

and also shows that he’s really not feeling vengeful:

Amber: Would you mind running the labs? Chase: You can't. Amber: Well, I can, but... Chase: No, I was making a statement. You've been fired, so you no longer have lab privileges. You weren't coming here for advice, you were coming here to con a favor to save your job. Sorry. I'm not working for him any more, but he can still make my life miserable. Amber: You have a chance to make his life miserable. Chase: I'm insulted. You conned Cameron by appealing to her humanity. Amber: I told her what she wanted to hear. Chase: And you told me what you thought I wanted to hear. Amber: If it's any consolation, I think your motives are more interesting. Chase: I cannot believe he fired you. Go draw his blood. Meet you in the lab when I'm done here.

He knows what Amber's up to from the beginning and winds up being impressed by her and how she gets things done—and that, imo, is what convinces him to do her this favor. He also starts out saying House can still make him miserable—and indeed, House proves he can still make former fellows miserable—i.e. Cameron in Frozen—but that's just an excuse because he generally doesn't want to be involved. He isn't phased at all by House threatening to have him fired later.

The situation with Taub in Games (4x09) is another case where Chase demonstrates he's not vengeance-motivated and is ultimately impressed by someone trying to manipulate him to get on the team.

House: We want to look at his heart. With our eyes. Chase: So I kill the patient on my operating table. You get to keep testing your team and I take the heat from Cuddy. House: If it goes that way, yeah, that'll be excellent. Taub: His respiratory status is through the floor. If there's a vessel and we don't remove it fast, best case, he's on a ventilator for life. House: Granted, it'll be a short one. Who do you think I should hire? Chase: You want me to tell you in front of him? House: It would be rude to ask him to leave now. Taub: If you don't do the surgery, patient will die. You'll have had nothing to do with it. And everyone will know that you had nothing to do with it. And everyone will know that it's because you were pissed off at House for firing you. Chase: You know that's not why I'm saying "no"… Taub: But that's how it's gonna play out. Chase: Keep him and Amber. You'll get stuff done. Prep him for surgery.

I'm wondering to what extent Taub and Amber may have talked, because Taub's trying to impress House here but also possibly trying to impress Chase, who's just given the impression that Taub might not be on his list of hires. If Amber let on in any way that Chase responded well to her coming clean about her attempt to con him, then maybe Taub decided it was a risk worth taking to win him over, too. And it worked. Chase not only agrees to do the surgery but he also recommends Taub and Amber to House and doesn't seem to harbor any ill will toward them for what they pulled (or tried to pull) on him.

He was very possibly not entirely serious about the recommendation and also might not have really thought House would take his advice, but considering that Chase often thought House was correct in terms of diagnoses, he may have genuinely thought that it would be more important to have new people on the team who could clear paths for House. And actually, that would've been a new-ish quality on the team. The original team would do your garden variety B&E and pretend to be the CDC on the phone, but I don't really see any of them, even Chase, doing what Taub did to Chase here or doing some of the things Amber did.

Something like blackmailing a surgeon was something House did to help Chase in The Mistake (2x08) but iirc it was kind of beyond what we saw the original team coming up with themselves in order to get things done (Yes, there was Vogler, but something the Tritter arc cements is the idea that Chase isn't going to feed someone information in order to save himself again, and the Vogler circumstances were very particular.)

And again, no one in that scene between Chase, House, and Taub in Games thinks that Chase is actually refusing—or would refuse—to operate because he's "pissed at House."

At the end of the day, and certainly by Chase (8x12), Chase is probably 98.9% sure House wouldn't ever fire him again. Especially after he murdered someone. But he also knows that even if House did fire him, he'd be okay.

[livingbedroomframe]

⋆⁺₊❅. Confession from a person of the same sex ⋆⁺₊❅.

⋆˚࿔ Itoshi Rin 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

I think we see the worst of this guy because of the place he’s in, but in a normal setting he would be like any other awkward teenager his age.

I don’t see him ever being interested in a romantic relationship, he’s really focused on his football career, but he also wouldn’t be a dick for no reasons. I’ll repeat, ik he’s kinda nasty in blue lock, but in school he looked pretty okay. He was a bit weird when he was in kindergarten, but who wasn’t?

He would be caught by surprise by the confession, he isn’t the most emotional intelligent guy and also pretty awkward, so he would just stare at the poor guy trembling with anxiousness because he genuinely finest know what to say nor react. After the long awkward pause, he would regain his composure and reject the guy with a rushed “I don’t have time to date.” cause he’s also anxious and wants to get out of the situation.

I also believe he wouldn’t mind being confessed to by a guy, he just doesn’t care for romance of any kind.

⋆˚࿔ Oliver Aiku 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

His cheating ass would make the guy that confessed his next victim.

It’s implied that he’s bisexual, so gender is not a problem. Him meeting in a karaoke with multiple dates and saying “let’s all play together” is the problem.

After being confessed to, he would move quickly: invite the guy out on a date even if he doesn’t feel any romantic attraction to him, lead him on until he gets tired, leave him and find someone else. Or cheat on him and find someone else. My guy is a proud hoe lol, I still can’t believe he placed third on “best gentleman” in the Egoist Bible.

The guy who confessed to him would end up on Reddit/AITA writing about his experience like: “Am I the asshole from getting together with the guy my boyfriend was cheating on me? (the other guy also believed he was the only boyfriend cheater had)”.

In conclusion, I strongly believe he is bisexual and would love to receive confession by men.

⋆˚࿔ Ikki Niko 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The Egoist Bible says his favorite manga is Banana Fish and his favorite anime is Puebla Magi Madoka Magica. He’s truly a doomed yuri/yaoi enjoyer. He would LOVE alien stage.

Anyway, Niko canonically spends his free time binge watching anime, is an introvert, he’s the least aggressive in terms of romance and was bullied because of his bangs. He would not get a confession.

But, in the case he received one, there’s two possible outcomes.

If the guy confessing is someone he doesn’t know well (like an hallway crush or a simple classmate), he would say “Is this a prank?”/“Did they make you do this as a dare?”. On the other hand, if he’s one of his close friends, there’s many aspect to take in consideration.

The Egoist Bible says ”His strength is his cautiousness. His weakness is his cowardice.��. Being in a gay relationship in Japan, a conservative country, takes a lot of courage even if you’re dating in secret. However, it does say his greatest strength is being cautious, so hopefully they wouldn’t get caught. Alas, with a football career in the making, I don’t think he would take such a big risk and put in jeopardy all his hard work.

Overall, I don’t see him ever accepting a guy’s confession, even if the feeling was mutual, because of social pressure and his cowardly trait.

Now, would he be disgusted if a man confessed to him? No, he wouldn’t. Taking in consideration his favorites manga and anime have heavy undertones of queer symbolism and he’s pretty chill outside of blue lock, he would reject the guy in a polite manner and move on with his life.

Do I think Niko is queer? Maybe, but this is discourse for another post.

⋆˚࿔ Hyoma Chigiri 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

A guy could give him the most heartfelt, romantic and sweet love confession after school behind the school gate like every shoujo manga ever and he would answer with “You know I’m a guy right?” or he would laugh and ask “You joking, right?”. Cue the guy running away in tears and Chigiri realizing he was actually serious.

I’m kidding! He’s good at reading the mood in the manga and, after surpassing the fear of his ACL, he’s supportive to his friends. Generally Chigiri is an easygoing/mellow guy, as the Blue Lock wiki describes him. Apart from some sassy remark, he’s still a moody teenager after all, I don’t think he would say something so mean to someone in a normal setting.

Mind you, he would still reject the guy for two main reasons:

1. I don’t think he’s queer. “But look at the way he dresses!!” “Look how feminine he is!” I’m sorry to inform you, neither of this things make a person queer.

(Do I still headcanon him as bi? Yes, but I’m trying to be realistic for this headcanon).

2. Chigiri would think the guy confessed just because he “resembles” a girl. I don’t think he would ever phantom a man being with him because he also is a boy and not because of his femininity.

But!! If Chigiri was confessed to by another guy in Blue Lock, I think he would say that. That place brings the worst out of every single one of them.

[bybdolan]

thoughts on books i read in 2024

This was kind of an abysmal reading year for me ... i did not read a lot, very few books were truly excellent, and most of what I read was written by white guys (which is on me). Let’s hope 2025 is better on all fronts. Anyway, here’s a list of what I read, and about 4 sentences written in 3 minutes trying to summarize my thoughts on the book.

The Autograph Collector (Zadie Smith) – started the year off pretty strong with this one. It’s been a while since I read it, but what I do remember is that smith is an excellent storyteller and I liked how the themes of grief, dreams, and fame were woven together.

Die Insel der 1000 Leuchttürme (Walter Moers) – eh? I was constantly hoping that this would go in a “horror as metaphor for bigotry” or “small communities with strict rules are fucking scary” (think The Wicker Man) kind of direction, and thus was not on board with the way the plot ended up developing. It’s also way too long and Hildegunst’s neuroses are annoying after a certain point.

Faserland (Christian Kracht) – this is as good as everyone says it is. Full stop. I admittedly just love books about sad young men who are or pretend to be assholes (Catcher in the Rye), so this was perfect for me. Very sad and very pale, but in a good way – it felt clear, like nice winter wind. Also: I couldn’t get the boy to kill me but I wore his jacket for the longest time. Etc. etc.

Das fliegende Klassenzimmer (Erich Kästner) – a classic for a reason!!! Children’s books are at their best when they take their audience seriously, and this passes that test with flying colors. Incredibly fun, incredibly moving. Made me cry more than once. Eisern!

Call Me By Your Name (André Aciman) – this was a really interesting experience for me because I strongly disliked the movie when I watched it, as I was constantly put off by Oliver’s behavior. I think the book does a better job at making you understand the fragile and confusing back-and-forth between Elio and Oliver, and I found myself really really liking it because of that. I also greatly appreciate how unapologetically horny it is. Being horny makes you act fucking weird!!! I love weird horny representation!!! YAY peach scene! The style was beautiful as well, though a bit imagery-heavy at times, which did fit the heavy summer atmosphere.

Rico, Oskar 1 – 3 (Andreas Steinhöfel) – listened to the audiobooks on my way to uni. A very fun time all around. Similarly to Kästner, Steinhöfel has a lot of respect for his audience and also doesn’t shelter them. What other kids’ books can you name where the protagonist’s mom works at a strip club? The representation may not be perfect but I love that he went there. Mama Doretti you are forever famous TO ME.

The End of Loneliness (Benedict Wells) – always pains me to say this because Benedict Wells legit is so fucking sweet and nice in person and I’d LOVE to have dinner with him, but ... he is not thaaat good of a writer. This one essentially is a John Irving wannabe, and despite the “dark” themes it feels incredibly shallow and cliched at times. The female character(s) are particularly offensive. However: at the very least Wells is earnest about it all?

22 Bahnen (Caroline Wahl) – Caroline Wahl who had 2 books on the bestsellers list for over a year now recently complained that she wasn’t nominated for the Deutscher Buchpreis, which is partially meant as financial support for authors whose a) books do not sell well because b) they are good and complex pieces of literature, so I hope that she’ll be at least a bit consoled by receiving the “Book That Made Me Seethe With Hatred 2024” award <3 the writing is ass the story is shallow it’s all just a big fucking cliché and the depiction of poverty and addiction is appalling. I’d be ashamed to put a book like this out into the world.

HOOL (Philipp Winkler) – this still is THE book about violent men to me. I read it 5 times in the summer of 2018 and I am happy to report that it has lost none of its appeal and grit and ugliness. Simply a 10/10 and deeply formative to my taste.

Emil und die Detektive (Erich Kästner) – everything I said about Das fliegende Klassenzimmer is also true for this one. Ultimately I do prefer Klassenzimmer though, simply because the themes of friendships and camaraderie appeal to me much more.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (Stieg Larsson) – As a thriller this is near perfect, I could not put it down for two days. Larsson manages to do the whole “intersection of faith and violence against women” thing without it feeling exploitative (I’d be inclined to believe he may have started this trend), and I am glad that he allows his female characters to take gruesome revenge. Howeveeerrr unfortunately the narration still has a very chauvinistic edge to it and Mikkel feels like a male mid 40s wish fulfillment fantasy.

The Goldfinch (Donna Tartt) – I bought this in the Mauritshuis after seeing the Goldfinch so :’) it has a nice little sentimental edge to it. And this is another one of those “it really is THAT good” books. Looking back now, I am surprised that relatively little has stayed with me though – I never was that invested in Theo, and I also didn’t love Boris a ton, so a lot of the novel was just me hanging out with characters I didn’t like reading about that much. What stuck with me the most was the love for beautiful things that comes pouring out of every pages. Especially the parts in Hobie’s shop were just awe-inspiring. I’m planning to do a reread where I just focus on the descriptions because they were so unbelievably rich.

Bluebeard (Kurt Vonnegut) – I don’t remember a ton about this. What comes back to me most is my fondness of Vonnegut. He has a lot of humor and warmth in his writing, and I always find myself deeply moved by him writing about people loving one another, as funny or dark or even sad it may be.

The Virgin Suicides (Jeffrey Eugenides) – IT REALLY IS THAT GOOD. I could go on about the genius of that narrator perspective (the boys who watched the Lisbon girls as this big shapeless faceless conglomerate of first person plural) for ages. The prose is embroidery-worthy and the amount of detail and specificity do not only bring the Lisbon girls to life, but also the entire small town ecosystem around them. A beautiful capsule of stifled adolescence. And yet a horrifying read. (Bonus: I read this at the time when my boyfriend was reading Lolita, so when we were reading in public we looked like Mr. + Mr(s). Coquette.)

The O’Henry Prize Winners of 2024 – I love a good short story collection what can I say? I highly recommend these collections to everybody, as they present an array of innovative, diverse, well-told short stories that you may have not heard about before unless you are a literary magazine afficionado. My favorites were “Roy” and “The Soccer Balls of Mr. Kurz”.

Everybody Jam (Ali Lewis) – listen. Nothing hits like a good middle grade book. This one is veeery heavy at times and I was honestly not ready for some of the stuff that was happening, but it still was an engrossing experience and I just love coming-of-age stories that get into the mess of living. I also learned a lot about Australian cattle farming. Yay.

Fighting Ruben Wolfe (Markus Zusak) – another book about men and violence, yay! Finished this one today (it technically is only the first half of my German joint edition of this + “When Dogs Cry” but shhh). The writing was really good for the most part (I read it to get a feel for slightly gritty and simple vocabulary-wise yet rich in imagery narration for a project of mine, and it definitely delivered), however, it is very cut-up and not very subtle at times. I also felt like it was just missing. Something. I wasn’t really satisfied by the end of it.

so uuuh I think my favorite new reads of the year were The Virgin Suicides and Faserland. Maybe I should lighten up.

[gcholdtrops]

       the  feeling  was  so  surreal,  standing  so  close  to  a  woman  whomst  he  had  actually  catfished  in  the  beginning;  although  it  was  with  innocence,  it  still  wasn't  a  nice  thing  of  him  to  put  sora  through  that.  which  was  also  the  main  reason  behind  him  especially  after  the  femme  felt  trustworthy. while his heart was also starting to feel strongly about her. even  if  that  was  still  unknown,  mingyu  felt  confident  sora  wouldn't  tell  a  soul  about  this;  at  least  for  now  as  she  so  cheekily  said  herself.   "  a  lot  ?  no  no,  i  think  my  agency  would  sign  me  off  if  they  found  out  i  did  that.  "   a  somewhat  sheepish  chuckle,  slender  digits  running  through  dark  strands  of  hair,  while  orbs  were  directed  over  at  sora  across  the  table.   "  i  bought  a  private  phone,  to  even  be  able  to  do  that.  "   sometimes  the  strictness  of  the  contract,  meant  that  he  couldn't  always  just  do  what  he  wanted,  yet  anyway.

he's even more handsome in person, a thought she's sure will come up several times in her mind. she pushes it down for now, though, lest it comes across too much of a fangirl even in a situation like this. eyes widening at the sudden contact sora can feel the heat rising ... well, just about everywhere on her body !! it's so unexpected and unusual since she rarely even hugs her girl friends. clearing her throat she steps back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear to feign a calm demeanor. "for now," cheeky, cheeky cheeky ! she walks inside without hearing an answer, proud of herself for getting through that intimate moment without melting. from here she just follows him, thanking the lady with a confident smile, until they're sat down, smile stretching at the view. "no problem. but to be honest this still feels unreal. from catfishing me to being here together ----- do you do this type of thing a lot ? is it like ... a request or order from your agency ?"

[freaky-flawless]

Hot take: Rochelle should have been in Jinafire's place in Freaky Fusion.

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[diurnalvl]

seven years ago, they used to be friends. almost.

1 / 2 / ?

[arttsuka]

Based on somewhat real events

I spent way too much time drawing this...

But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you

A continuation (kinda)

[bonefall]

⭕️Hey Bones! Is it ok if you explain and/or elaborate how Crowfeather is abusive to Breezepelt if please?⭕️

I do KNOW that crowfeather is indeed, abusive to Breezepelt, due to the fact that he emotionally and/or physically neglected him - with child neglect being known to BE a form of child abuse - and I also heard that he slashed and/or hit him within one of the books, which I believe is in the book Outcast, in chapter 16.

But I also wish people would talk and be informed about it more within the fandom, because in the parts of the fandom I’ve known portrayed Crowfeather’s neglect on Breezepelt as negative and bad, but not in a way that made me think and/or feel: “Wow, that’s pretty bad. That’s…actually abusive.” I suppose? So I hope more people will talk about it more in that type of way.

Also, please be aware that I have NOT read PoT, OoTS, etc. or barely any warrior cats books, since the majority of the information I got from the series is from the wiki and the fandom, so that probably explains why I didn’t know this part of Crowfeather’s character is as bad as it actually is until now. Also, feel free to talk about Crowfeather’s abuse on Breezepelt I haven’t mentioned and/or don’t know right now as well if you want.

I’m SO sorry that if this ask is unintentionally quite long, and feel free to make sure to take all the time you need to answer it. Thank you!

OH LET'S GOOOO

Breezepelt is both physically and emotionally abused by Crowfeather. I'm not talking about only child neglect; he is screamed at, belittled, and even once hit on-screen.

The fact that Crowfeather both neglected and abused him is very important to the canonical story of Breezepaw. There's actually a lot more to this character than people remember! Even from his first appearances he displays good qualities, a strained relationship with his father and adult clanmates, and is clearly shown to be troubled before we understand why.

As many problems as I have with the direction of Breezepelt's arc (especially Crowfeather's Trial), his setup is legitimately a praiseworthy bit of writing from Po3 which carries over into OotS. To say that Breezepelt was not abused is to completely miss two arcs worth of books SCREAMING it.

BIG POST. Glossary;

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

ABUSE: Outcast, Social Alienation, the Tribe Journey.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

For "brevity," I'm not getting into anything post-OotS. I'm just showing that Breezepelt was abused, the narrative wants you to know that he was abused, and that his status as a victim of child abuse is CENTRAL to understanding why he is training in the Dark Forest.

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

Our very first introduction to Breeze is when Jaypaw walks off a cliff in the first book of Po3 and is rescued by a WindClan patrol. He's making snarky remarks, and Whitetail and Crowfeather are not happy about it. Whitetail snaps for Crow to teach his son some manners, and Crow growls for Breezepaw to be quiet.

But our proper introduction to him is at his announcement gathering, when Heatherpaw playfully introduces him as a friend,

From the offset something's not entirely right here between Breezepaw and his father. He's cut off by Heatherpaw here, but he's touchy whenever his father is involved, and we're not entirely sure why.

Throughout Book 1, he's just rude, with a notable xenophobic streak. He's a bit of a mean rival character for Lionpaw, as they're both interested in the affections of Heatherpaw and make bids to get her attention, but nothing particularly violent yet.

He participates in the beloved Kitty Olympics and gets buried in liquid dirt with Lionpaw, basically a rite of passage for any arc.

(And Nightcloud has a cute moment where she watches over them until they fall asleep)

As the books progress, the relationship between Crow and Breeze visibly deteriorates. They start from being simply tense with each other in The Sight, to the open shouting and hitting we see in Outcast.

In the very first chapter of Dark River, we learn where his behavioral issues are really coming from;

Crowfeather.

Breezepelt is getting xenophobia from his father. Occasionally he says something bigoted and his dad will agree and chime in, and those are the only positive moments they have together.

(Note: In contrast, Nightcloud explicitly pushes back against xenophobia, chiding Breezepelt for his rudeness to Lionpaw in back in The Sight, Chapter 21. The Sight is the book where a lot of "evidence" that the Evil Overbearing Woman is actually responsible for the rift between father and son but. No. She's not. Though she can be overprotective; Crow and Breeze have a bad relationship when she's not even around in Breeze's first appearance and even his Crowfeather's Trial Epiphany refutes it. Anyway this post isn't about Nightcloud.)

So he starts acting on his bigotry, accusing cats in other Clans of stealing, running really close to the border. What's interesting though, is that this is not entirely his doing. The first time we get physical trouble from Breezepaw, DUSTPELT aggressed it. Breezepaw and Harepaw were just chasing a squirrel and hadn't yet gone over the border at all.

We learn that WindClan is teaching its apprentices how to hunt in woodland, and tensions between the two Clans is starting to escalate as ThunderClan isn't entirely trusting of their intentions.

The second time, fighting breaks out over him and Harepaw actually crossing the border and catching a squirrel. WindClan is adamant that because it came from their land, it's their squirrel. So it's as if Breezepaw is modelling the aggression around him, learning how to behave from the older warriors and his father.

When he joins Heatherpaw and The Three to go find Gorsetail's kits in the tunnels, he's grouchy towards the ThunderClan cats, but very gentle with the kittens. Notably so. When Thistlekit is dangerously cold, he cuddles up next to her, and even assures Swallowkit when she's scared,

Through this entire excursion, he's the one in the comforting roles for the kittens. Breezepaw is the one who is taking time to tell the kits they'll be okay, that he'll protect them, and physically supporting them when they're weak, even when he's terrified.

And it's always contrasted to Heatherpaw who's way more 'disciplined,' as a side note. It's a detail I'm just fond of.

All this to point out,

Breezepelt displays his best qualities when he's away from the older warriors of WindClan, and he's at his worst whenever he's near Crowfeather. Even while he's essentially just a bully character for The Three to deal with. He's gruff but cooperative when it's just him and Heatherpaw interacting with The Three, but mean when there is an adult to please.

We're getting to the on-screen abuse now, but Po3 actually sets up Breezepaw's troubles and dynamics well before it's finally confirmed that he is a victim of child abuse.

ABUSE: Outcast, the Tribe Journey.

In Outcast, Breezepaw's problems have escalated into open aggression towards cats of other Clans, and is now a legitimate concern for his own safety. Yet, he's spoken over by older warriors, and reprimanded at nearly every opportunity, right in front of the warrior of another Clan.

Squilf just asked the poor kid how his training was going, and then Whitetail JUMPS to talk over him so she can complain, RIGHT in front of his face.

They can't even wait until they're alone to grumble something rude about Breezepaw, who is still just a teenager here;

They taught him already that a bit of prey that runs off their own territory still belongs to WindClan, encourage him to blow past borders in pursuit, and started a battle with ThunderClan over this. And then they're pissed off at him for being aggressive, thinking it's deserved to scold him in public.

When Onestar announces that he wants Breezepaw to go on the Tribe Journey, he's devastated by it...

Because he thinks WindClan doesn't like him, and he's right. He's gossiped about, torn into in front of a ThunderClan warrior, and even his own dad doesn't want to be around him. It's clear that Breezepaw's impulsive "codebreaking" behaviors are a desire to prove himself, and once you realize that, the way that he's being alienated is heartbreaking.

But Wait!! Hold on a minute! Where did he get a "patrol of apprentices" from to confront the dogs with, exactly?

Simple. Breezepaw CAN make friends! He actually values them a lot! So much that it's the first thing Crowfeather snaps at him over, out of frustration that his son is also being forced on this journey with him. It's an angry response to his child having emotional and physical needs, resentment that will continue all journey long.

Note that it's plural, friends. Breezepelt has multiple friends, at least one who is not Heatherpaw, and she promises to say goodbye to them.

Up next, they state over and over, Crowfeather and Breezepaw do not like each other. Crowfeather resents being around him and dealing with his rudeness, embarrassed and angry, and Breezepaw is absolutely miserable being sent on a journey to the mountains with a man who hates his guts.

The whole while, Crowfeather is brooding longingly about Feathertail, already thinking about her as soon as he kitty-kisses Nightcloud goodbye, his eyes looking somewhere distant. He makes a jab about loyalty when Breezepaw doesn't understand why they're helping the Tribe.

Breezepaw gets smacked after he's "shoved" at Purdy and acts rude to him, while the other three manage to be polite (while still having internal dialogue about how stinky he is).

Without so much as a, "cut that out," Crowfeather raises his paw and hits him. Breeze is quiet after that.

I don't give a shit how rude your teenager is being. Do not hit kids. Being throttled on the head is not okay.

In spite of the Three not liking Breezepaw, or even Crowfeather, they're constantly noting that their arguments are not normal, and that Crow is a cold, unsupportive father who digs into his kid constantly, and the only time he ever DOES "discipline" his child it's through immediately smacking him.

At one point, the apprentices get hungry, and decide to foolishly hunt in a barn that they know has dogs in it against Purdy's warnings. Once again, JUST like the first two books, Breezepaw is more friendly when Crowfeather is not around.

EVERY time he is alone with cats his own age, he's grumpy but cooperative. Even enthusiastic at times! The minute Crowfeather is in the picture, he's nasty.

Naturally, the dogs show up, but Purdy rescues them. Though Brambleclaw also chews his kids out (and i have strong opinions about bramble's parenting style for another time), Hollypaw is taken aback by the contrast of what a scolding from Brambleclaw looks like vs how Crowfeather reacts.

The narrative is desperately trying to tell you that the way Crowfeather treats his son is not normal.

And then Crowfeather is pissed off that Breezepaw is exhausted from running for his life from hungry dogs,

And he's constantly losing his shit whenever Breezepaw says something as innocuous as "dad im hungry"

Then, Breezepaw is made to watch his dad pine over the grave of a woman who died long before Crowfeather was even considering his mother for a mate. What he feels is jealousy, because he knows his own father doesn't love him anywhere near as much as he loves the memory of Feathertail.

This really goes on and on and on. The ENTIRE trip is like this, with Crowfeather treating Breezepelt poorly, giving him a smack before even verbally warning him, pushing him past his limits and blowing up on him when he asks simple questions about eating or resting.

It all comes to a head in this one exchange, towards the end. Hollypaw ends up snapping at Breezepaw for his rudeness, before having an epiphany.

It's explicit. Crowfeather's emotional abuse, his "scorn" for Breezepelt, is what is driving a wedge between him and all of his older Clanmates. Between EVERYONE in Breezepelt's life who wasn't already his friend. This awful treatment is only making him worse and worse.

Realizing this, she has more sympathy for him, but it's too late. He continues to be rude to her because he feels insulted, and her patience completely runs out. She's just a kid. They're both just kids. She's not responsible for fixing him when he's pushing everyone away at this point.

That's the end of Breezepelt in Outcast. It can't be helped anymore. Any spark of friendship they had together in the barn, or in the tunnels, is gone.

As the series progresses, Crowfeather continues to refuse any personal responsibility for the mistreatment of his son, even pinning all of Breezepelt's behavioral problems on Nightcloud. He is a cold, selfish father who only ever thinks about his own pain and reputation.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

Everyone talks about the Attack on Poppyfrost, which happens in the first book of OotS, in oversimplified terms. YES he is going after a nun and a pregnant woman. I've never said that's not Bad.

But no one talks about "WHY", and that reason is NOT just that he desires power like so many other WC villains. Breezepelt makes his motivation very clear on the page.

Escalating to violence was about making Jayfeather feel the way that he does.

When Breezepelt says that he wants Jay to be surrounded by "lies, hatred, and things that should never have happened," he's talking about the way HE grew up, knowing his father never wanted him, and that his Clan HATES him as a result. Killing Poppyfrost is about trying to frame Jayfeather for her murder, so ThunderClan won't trust him anymore.

When Jayfeather points out the simple truth that what Breezepelt is saying doesn't make any goddamn sense, his hatred "falters." He's blaming his half-clan half-brother for his own treatment because of the reveal, but totally failed to consider that JAYFEATHER'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT... so his response is just this pitiful, "s-shut up, man."

Then the ghost of Brokenstar and Breezepelt bounce him back and forth between them like a beach ball for a bit until Honeyfern's spirit shows up.

Breezepelt's childhood abuse and social alienation was a hook that the Dark Forest latched onto, to reel him in. His anger at his half-brother is so obviously misplaced that its absurdity was something Jayfeather pointed out.

We soon learn that it's the Dark Forest who's planting that ridiculous idea in his head;

The narration is SCREAMING, "The Dark Forest is validating the anger he feels towards his father, and redirecting it towards The Three." He's described as 'kitlike,' Tigerstar's eyes are compared to a hypnotizing snake.

This prose could not make it more obvious if it drove to your house, beat you with it, and then spoon fed you the point while you were hospitalized.

At the end of this scene, Tigerstar sends Hawkfrost to recruit Ivypaw. This scene where Breezepelt is being lovebombed, and the command to start grooming Ivypaw, ARE LINKED. That was a choice.

A VERY GOOD choice! Again, as many issues as I have with OotS, its handling of indoctrination is unironically fantastic, and it owes a good amount of that to the outstanding setup of Breezepelt that was done back in Po3. And that setup doesn't work if Crowfeather was merely distant.

Breezepelt was abused by his father, both verbally and physically. It drove him to be more aggressive to prove himself, modeling the battle culture around him. The adults of WindClan judged him based off Crowfeather's responses, shunning and belittling the 'problem' teenager, which eventually drove Breezepelt to the only group that he felt "understood" him.

In a book series that is RIFE with abuse apologia, this is one of the few times that there's any behavioral consequences for abuse and the narrative holds the perpetrator accountable for it.

But people hear Crowfeather's deflective excuse in The Last Hope where he says he never hated him, blames Nightcloud for everything, and just lick it up uncritically.

Gee whiz, I wonder why the guy who never blames himself for any of his problems would suddenly say it was his ex-wife's fault. Real headscratcher!

(Crowfeather's Trial then goes onto, for all my own problems with it, also hold Crow accountable as the reason why Breezepelt turned out like he did. But that's a topic for another day.)

[dykedvonte]

Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.

The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.

It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.

In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.

[wisebeth]

why does the pjo series have to unnecessarily villainize goddesses (hera & athena) or show them as silly ladies (aphrodite & demeter) BUT posiedon and apollo are somehow shown as the coolest/most likeable gods, even though arguably, they're right after zeus on terms of corruption?

ares shown as the worst god after zeus and hera amuses me. last time i checked, he was the patron god of amazons and literally killed a man for attempting to rape his daughter but guess who cursed women for rejection? apollo. guess who raped women when they said no (aside from zeus)? posiedon.