#i feel so fucking helpless.
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fuck dude. the more i find out sbout world news the more i wanna fucking die. like. fuck.
#i know i said id avoid the news but i keep being exposed to photos#of fucking blown up hospitals and fucking dead kids.#this shit fucking sickens me. i know it sickens everyone but. fuck.#i feel so fucking helpless.#this is why i stay uneducated because i know i cant do shit to help the fucking genocide going on#and it just mskes me feel worse
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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People really act helpless about scammers & just call any Palestinian fundraiser a "scam" because they're too lazy to check and being racist.
Like How are you suspicious of the Palestinian blog that's been vetted (which includes things like checking I.D's for authenticity, which other Palestinians on tumblr would be intimately familiar with & would know what a fake one looks like) by like 3 other Palestinians on here...
But you can't tell that the blog that the scam blog has Urdu on their blog (while claiming its Arabic), has used the same stolen icon from Twitter over multiple blogs while pretending to be multiple different people (which you'd find if you bothered to reverse image search it), a Kenyan paypal name, and has used the same story a gazillion times, is in fact the scammer?
"Wah I can't tell which ones are the scammers" 1. You're acting helpless 2. If you took 10 minutes to do some prior research you'd be able to tell more easily 3. You can literally just visit a scam buster's blog to ask or check our resources.
#some of these are genuinely tricky#and us scam busters want to help#but i can see so many people just acting fucking helpless just because you dont feel like helping.
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I am seeing less people talking even though the situation is more dire than ever. I know we are all tired. It is understandable.
Keep it up though. Put your frustration and pain into work and use it. Turn to your family and friends and support each other through it.
To quote Shreen abu Aklaa: “The cause needs a lot of endurance. Keep your spirits up”
Art work by : Sally Samir
We are lucky to be alive and well. Use it.
#it is important to address that if we push ourselves hard we will burn out#so the way to do it is to find a support system and use that sadness into something positive#positive for the cause#if you feel you are doing something you will feel less helpless#anyway enough with gushy mushy#palestine#free palestine#fuck israel#i stand with palestine#fuck the usa#gaza under genocide#gaza#free Gaza
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lvl20 cross is my no.1 enemy btw. if i see him there will be an unspecified lethal weapon in my paws and it will be pointed in his general location
#slightly incomprehensible rant in tags#he was made by a pro which becomes obvious when you look into him At All#utmv#not tagging cross even tho i wanna cause like#neg stuff idk#character neg#i guess??#idk i just wanna be hashtag mindful#cw suggestive#in the tags#ive seen ONE SINGLE FIC where he was done well. ONE. ONE SINGLE FIC.#EVERYYYY OTHER ONE#HAS LIKE. DREAM BEING THE UWU HELPLESS BOY AND CROSS BEING GRR ALPHA MALE WHO PROTECTS HIM/SOME NEAR-RABID ANIMAL WITH A BIG DICK NOW IG??#lvl20 cross..... my ENEMY.....#my beloathed#people who make him into a character i can actually tolerate are god(toby fox)'s bestest angels#i fully believe there are tons of people out there that have done him well but after a while i just skipped over any fics with him in it#lvl20 cross could have been great#because like the horror that could come from when you breach a lvl no monster's body was built to endure#purely because you Killed Everyone In Your World#that could be fucked up cool stuff!!!! but no!!!! all he is worth now is to be led on a leash by dream i guess!!!!!!!!!#not a puritan in any sense of the word i have an 18+ account (which is painfully inactive whoops)#nothing wrong with sexing a character up or warping them towards sex appeal for the sake of 18+ content. i am fine with that#but like. lvl20 is just. blatantly brutalizing cross into big dick energy violent murderer guy who needs to be muzzled by dream#shakes you by the shoulders CROSS ISNT A SADISTIC MURDERER HES JUST EDGY!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FEELS SO MUCH GUILT!!!!!!!! COME ON!!!! HE WOULD NO#LIKE TO KILL PEOPLE PERIOD!!!!
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i know i haven't spoken about the annihilation of gaza here at all yet, i've been more actively sharing posts and information on my personal accounts on ig/twt/fb etc. however, i'll say this here right now—if you support isr*el or are staying "neutral", i need you to actually go ahead and block me this instant. this is actual genocide, actual ruthless murder of innocent people and children. if you are not firmly on palestine's side, i do not want you on my blog, or to even breathe the same air as me. kindly remove yourself from my space. thank you!
#₊˚ପ⊹ soliloquy .ᐟ#free palestine#palestine#i've been feeling so sick and so helpless.#have been using tumblr to tune out whenever i feel too overwhelmed but fuck that. children are dying. little kids are getting killed.#i'm not going to talk about this situation all the time because genuinely i can't fathom it#it's been affecting me so much. i feel so horrified#but i'll be reblogging regularly alongside my usual posts#so if you don't want to see that either#you are free to leave!#thank you very much
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americans who fought so hard against this i am so so so sorry. please know so many of your northern neighbours are enraged and devastated for you. canada is with you. fuck the government, we will stand for you.
#us elections#i feel so helpless and i feel so bad#if there’s anything anyone needs that I can do let me know#canadians being smug are ignorant and don’t know we are facing this same threat in our gov as well#the majority of us up here with half a brain cell feel for you#fuck what either of our govs turn into tbh we need to support eachother as the people always#i’m so sorry#text
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Almost 1AM and this exchange brought me to tears.
Hear here, we’ll never stop till the world listens. It’s not forever. It’s now.
#free palestine#palestine#i feel so damn tired w the state of the world#watching people be dehumanized and murdered on a daily basis while smiling at some news about a fave artist/show/movies#i hate that i have to constantly compermantalize#i feel like im a fake bcoz i want to live but could only watch when others literally lose their lives#the helplessness and the grief kept at bay is maddening#but all i could do is continue to move forward#live and give voice to those who needs to be heard#give voice to those who are forced to silence#be heard be heard force the world to listen#fuck the exhaustion fuck the shitty coping just never stop giving voice to the voiceless#we’re a choir and while some voices fade off the others will sing until you pick up u turn and sing along again#never forget
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#my godddd 😮💨❤️🩹#life is so beautiful you guysss#bless Sufjan's fucking precious mind😮💨🩷!!#everything written‚ produced and recorded by him + all the artwork and essays also by him!! he's everything!! ❤️🩹#the entire album sounds both familiar and new (like Goodbye Evergreen is literally how The Age of Adz goes from Futile Devices to Too Much!#sounds very atmospheric and melancholic and bittersweet but also dreamy and euphoric. and very gentle#and there's a sense of urgency and helplessness but the album ends in a very hopeful note which is so beautiful!!#lyrically is so impressive and breathtaking. man the way he feels everything so deeply 🫨❤️🩹#stunning compositions + so much heartbreak and existential despair and unsettling imagery and self-sacrifice#and distress and personal atonement and resignation and so much HOPE and LIFE and LIGHT#and also religious devotion (shocker i know lol)#and the Neil Young cover (shoot me!) is better than the original lol it's just so sweet and hopeful 💐#i really loved it so much!!#sufjan stevens#javelin#📓
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went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3
#im just so ........#grips fists#i feel Helpless#i hate feeling like the people i know are receding further and further Away from art communities and the public because its so#painful right now#to be posting art :(#it just IS.#and to the motherfuckers in Toyhouse doing this like... i cannot stress enough how much if u called me rn i would tell u to die 2 ur face#i just... cant pretend like im Okay with u being anywhere Near the same space as me anymore <3#there are people i Hate on an individual level and#i still want to see them eat. just not at my table#but to everyone who Scrapes Art. I want you to Die <3 ....#you value having pretty little image and serving yourself over the grief of millions of artists#to the point where you break into Our spaces where we trust that we're at least safe from *you* motherfuckers#and take Even More ...#youre fucking#selfish and greedy#truly an embodiment of every fucking sin#unable to fucking Help Yourself ?#imagine if all of these people were like. contributing to society.or. idk. DRAWING#the Waste it generates stresses me out to no fucking end too#like you will literally harm the entire human race for Yourself#i Hate you . I Hate you so Wholly#I hate Everything you are and Everything you have done to me and Everything you have done to my community and my peers#yeah. i want you to Die. The same way i want a politician to die.#no human Deserves death <3 but i still want you to <3#annnyyywaayyyyyss#i wont tag this as my art LMFAO its basically a fucking#vent post#i just HAD to get my feelings out cuz genuinely every time i talk about this with my friends it
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:
Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic
[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]
Flashbacks
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]
Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma
[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]
Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]
Extreme alertness/hypervigilance
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]
Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]
Feeling like you have to keep busy
[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]
Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive
[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]
Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")
[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]
Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(
[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]
Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard
[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]
Blaming yourself for what happened
[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]
Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame
#all this wasn't going to fit into my gon analysis but i still wanted to cover it#when i say he was genuinely traumatized i. actually seriously mean that.#note that this does NOT mean he had ptsd!!! ptsd should only be diagnosed if symptoms continue for several weeks to a month#after being removed from the traumatic situation#given that the trauma was ongoing this does not count! we could only say he has ptsd if somehow these symptoms persist when#he's back on whale island after the fact. but honestly i doubt they would#however. in caa? yeah 100% he was very traumatized by kite's death#hence all the trauma symptoms i listed above. poor little guy :(#storyrambles#hxh#gon freecss#this post hurt me to make btw. ow. ow.#i also. cruel as it is i genuinely like that gon's trauma fueled breakdown was. not palatable. like he is genuinely really scary there#and it's REALLY hard to watch and listen to#i really get why killua felt so helpless there.#like. your best friend is incredibly fucking volatile and very obviously wants to and is intending to run himself into the ground#because he feels he deserves it#what the hell is the other thirteen year old supposed to do here. :(
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Gosh why does he do that :(
#he feels so HELPLESS#fuck me i cant stand this#gosh SOMEBODY GUVE. THIS MAN A QUIRK#how many times do u think hes even done this#*takes a shot*#j cant keep going#broke my heart when i saw this had to pauseee#my hero acedamia#boku no hero academia#toshinori yagi#all might#my hero academia world heros mission
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If you're in the UK, here is a quick & easy way for you to email your MP about Palestine:
https://www.foa.org.uk/campaign/mp
#all you have to is enter your name and email and press send#i recommend checking out the rest of their website too - they have so many good resources#and a lot of cited updated information#i know we all feel fucked up and helpless right now but there are things you can do pay attention and do not look away#palestine#save palestine#gaza#israel#gaza genocide#human rights#politics#reblog reblog reblog!#mine
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huh
#ok look i have so many things to say right now#i thought i would be happy to hear the news about his next project but#first of all i feel like a goddamn fool because i've been repeating for MONTHS that the warriors was just a rumour#that's literally what he said in one interview#and i was genuinely happy because i wanted him to write something original#not a fucking adaptation#honestly he can do better and we all know that#second of all a concept album doesn't sound bad but BUT#“major pop stars” my ass#what the actual fuck are you trying to tell me#i wanted a broadway show with broadway stars#i don't want pop stars#i might know what that means and i guess we're gonna get that collab with taylor but#this is#wow i have no words#i am so fucking disappointed#first the lion king which i already said i had mixed feelings about because it's just another disney project#now this#i was honestly expecting something original and spectacular#i kinda... hate this sorry#don't know gonna post this anyway#as my duty#i also want to know what everyone else thinks#am i the only one who's just deeply disappointed?#i'm so sad right now#maybe i'm just being overdramatic but#ugh#lin manuel miranda#lmm#boy you got me helpless*
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“Peter Lukas gets sent back to the regency era” “Jonathan Sims gets sent back to the regency era” valid points valid points but i raise you
Tim Stoker gets sent back to the regency era
#Timelias#guys c’mon it would be sooo fun#Tim would probably *hate* Elias. Maybe try to take the circus down sooner since#the Grimaldi was first like a thing in the very early 1800s so it could be possible for Tim to just kill Nikola on sight#And I bet Jonah would be so fascinated by him. Like oh my god this man 1) is probably from the future 2) Is HOT AS FUCK 3) has sooo much#knowledge about the fears and FOUR) Can apparently kill the things?? and is confident while doing so??#Jonah would love him sm#Also while I don’t think Jon or Peter could fix him I firmly believe that Tim 100% could#Like I’m pretty sure it was actually tweeted once that Tim could’ve redeemed Elias by fucking him nasty#but fr though I do think Tim would actually stop him from becoming as bad as he did because while Jon is passive in the voyeuristic sense an#d also and avatar and peter just couldn’t care less about stopping bad things Tim is wholey human and still dedicating himself to taking#action against the fears and *succeeding* and since I think a lot of Jonah magnus’s less than ideal actions stemmed from his feelings of#helplessness in a world out to get him I think that would be a great anchor for him.#Also I’m just super soft for any kind of Timelias sooo <333#Elias Bouchard#Jonah Magnus#TMA#Tim Stoker#oh also Tim was canonically fascinated by Robert Smirke so he’d probably have some knowledge about the 1700-1800s through osmosis gotten#while researching#the magnus archives
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