#i feel so fucking Gender rn.
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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but what if Jimmy Novak had been trans
#spn#supernatural#sbs rambles#look! I know I sound like spndiscoursebot rn#but I have the brainrot so all of you have to deal with it#what if he'd been trans!#Cas would have known that on some level but I don't think he would have cared#but later in the show? how would he have felt?#does Cas have opinions and emotions about what vessel he inhabits? how does he feel about gender?#how would that relate to his attraction to Dean? how would Dean feel about it?#I just think it's interesting to think about!#I could go on but I won't. I'll save it for ao3. or more realisticslly: my WIPs folder#actually wait last thought: what if Claire didn't know! but Cas thought she did#and brought up her dad's journey with gender#and Claire was like “hey what the FUCK”#anyway that's it that's my last thought#jimmy novak#castiel#trans
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yk what. Maybe I will hop on the trend and take a break from American political news for a while. I don't even live there so it won't affect me, unless it does in which case Canadian news outlets will report on it. I trust my muties will let me know if the shit really hits the fan. There's no way I won't hear, anyway, my housemates are all pretty into the news anyway. I really don't stand to benefit from any of it, and in the situations where I genuinely need to be informed of something, I'll still find out. All it'll do is make me upset, and I really don't need that in my life rn. thx @gummy-worms-in-my-brain for suggesting it last night. I thought about what you said, and you were right, so. Blocking some tags, setting up some filters, all that jazz.
#also just gonna avoid engaging with anything political when I can I think#like. writing out some long-winded comment describing the basic opinion to have about something is pointless. it just upsets me.#so no more of that. you all know my opinions. bodily autonomy for all and fuck authoritarianism and be cringe and free yadda yadda#like feel free to ask for my opinions on serious philosophical or moral matters if you feel the need! I get it sometimes u gotta check.#Conky ain't fash Conky ain't a terf Conky ain't a nazi Conky thinks all basic needs should be free including period hygeine supplies#and Conky gets really mad about race “science” because it's asinine bullshit with no right to call itself “science” at all#and oh also Conky thinks all gender identities are valid and intersex people are valid and that “fixing” them as babies is evil#like... the standard shit basically.#and REMEMBER#tell Conky if you feel unsafe in America and Conky will help however Conky can because Conky wants to#but for now Conky will avoid news about America because it's depressing and scary and she's powerless to do anything anyway#because like she lives far away what's she gonna do teleport. she can't even drive and doesn't own a car. she has no passport (needs one)#and finally... Conky is going through some mental and gender shit rn and thinks she should focus on that which she can actually work on#instead of endlessly stewing on far-off evils. if she improves herself she'll be far more able to help when the time comes.#and never forget. if you're reading this ur probably a moot. and that means Conky loves you and wants you to thrive.#she means it. all of you. yes you. you reading this. user ConkreetMonkey cares about you and all aspects of your wellbeing.
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just got to kaneshiro’s palace and had to draw this
#persona 5#persona 5 royal#ann takamaki#ryuji sakamoto#p5r#my art#comic#this game is So So Weird about it but you know when the drag ppl approach ryuji . what if he grew interested about makeup#when your whole punk teen crew is gender non conformicng#btw my art looks fucking ugly lately sorry. i don’t feel like doing anything neat-looking rn
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im so infinitely stressed rn i need to get off here
#camera talks#fuckkk#sighhhghsghg#sorry yall im like. on the verge of tears#this is genuinely like. the start of like 'the rest of my life' year and its. not looking like a good 4 years at all#i have to change my gender marker on my license back (safety. my states not red but its not Good either) and like.#i was already planning to at this point but its hitting me how much it meant to me to have that piece of me be like. known ? ig??#and i feel lucky that my name is already legally changed and its a fairly neutral to masc name so i think im fine#but like. do i really have to go into my job field like this? will i have to not be trans for the first 'real' steps of my life?#im fucking. upset#and im so so angry#i dont feel like i can look to HRT or surgery in my future rn#and i Know we're going to get through this#but like. im so tired of being unknown and hidden but its not like i can do anything about it now or ever anyways#like im already misgendered all the time so it doesn't Matter i guess#and very little people know of my relationships in the grand scheme of things so i guess im just going to keep keeping those hidden ish#but i dont Want to ! i want to be proudly queer and in love because i Am !! so like augh i dont know#im just so so upset#being queer is Me and i hate having to hide this part of myself for so fucking long#no wonder i related to old queers writing and stuff. augh. im thinking about them a lot. lots of them got through this#lots of them had lives they were proud of for the most part and i just hope i get that too#and im not even good at passing as cis or straight i dont think#like. im not going to try to that badly but as much as i dont pass for transsexual im easy to clock as weird gender#and fucked up mentally ill and aughghh#i dont even want to think about not getting mental health and disability resources#okay whatever im logging off or at least shutting down tumblr now#im just scared and worried i guess. i dont know#fuck
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helloooo gay people in my phone 🐶
tip the puppy | watch the fun
#speak!#best in show!#hehehehehehe here take this#its the middle of the night im feelin HOT#christ on a bike i wish i had top surgery then this would be complete#but still even without it im SO HOT AND TICKLEABLE AND FUCKABLE AND GRABABLE AND#check out this body hair dude#fucking COVERED in it its so euphoric#need to feel gender euphoria rn so im taking and posting this to go ‘wow ur so masculine :3’#why am i like. shy lmao
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i would have put more emphasis on lakes sexuality in her original season. We only know she’s a lesbian because of a pride post. It would have been cool to see her talking about it with Rosa maria or maggy. About how she doesn’t want to get married to this guy because she isn’t attracted to men, but doesn’t have the words to describe it. Maybe Rosa and maggy help her realize that being same sex attracted is normal and nothing wrong with it. (Maggy autocorrected to maggot like 4 times wtf)
fr like i think besides jaiden, season 2 had no mention/hint of queerness and then BAM half the cast shows up in the pride post. uhhh thanks for the half-assed representation from unbearable/boring characters that we will never see again i guess! you’re so progressive ONC!
#at least tomjake and gabellie are clearly queer but i feel like they just slapped pansexuality on hunter bc RePrEsEnTaTiOn#and DO NOT GET ME WRONG. PAN HUNTER IS REAL TO ME. but is it to ONC lets be serious#ofc mspec people dont have to show attraction to the same gender to be valid (thats not what im saying)#im saying that ONC just slapped that label on him so theyd be progressive#and do nottt get me started on trevek omfg its so fucking clearly fan service its just sickening#they showed no signs of 1) being bi and 2) liking each other in the first season#AND DEREK STILL DOESNT SEEM TO LIKE TREVOR. BY THE FUCKING WAY. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WE’RE ROOTING FOR TREVOR TO GET WITH A MAN THAT#DOESN’T EVEN LIKE HIM????????????#but whatever middle aged yaoi or whatever anything to get people talking about the most mid show on youtube rn#and like. karol? is a lesbian? really? this is just hunter but they wanted to be praised for older gays instead#anyways tl;dr onc just slapped some queer labels on the characters not because they care about them being queer#but because they wanted to be praised for diversity and make us forget the show is actually just shit#disventure camp#lake disventure camp#plot rewrite
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alright that's it I'm bringing up my stupid unspecified vagina trauma in my next therapy session
#tried using a tampon again. once again did not work and now i can Feel it There and it makes me want to cry!#due to me being on my period and other such issues#girl i hate this stupid fucking thing so much. i'm gonna be honest chief i wish i just didn't have that#such a stupid fucking organ. archaic!!!!#you know WHAT if i had been amab i would be sooo hot & sexy rn because that's the way men in my family spawn#i would have had a better childhood because i wouldn't constantly have had massive gender struggles and would thus be less fucked up#and i would have a FUCKING AUTISM DIAGNOSIS BY NOW BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW AFAB PEOPLE CAN'T HAVE AUTISM#i would be much more confident and normal due to the way boys are socialised. and i wouldn't have this BITCHASS UGLY WRETCHED VAGINA#ohhhhh my god why wasn't i amab. kills herself#i wouldn't have tits...... oh my god my back would be intact..........#dreaming of a better world as the period hormones make me want to kill myself as is customary every month since i was 11#when i say i don't mind being a woman i'm LYING I LITERALLY MIND SO MUCH I HATE IT HERE
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hormones!!! :D i’m doing them!!! :D the man ones!!! :D they smell kinda funny!!!! :D
#trans#testosterone#gender euphoria#i’m so fucking happy rn#this makes up for the trans tape giving me a blister fr#omg omg i’m supposed to be going to sleep rn#no way is that happening anytime soon#transmasc#nonbinary#transgender#trans pride#trans joy#trans HOW DOES ONE SLEEP ADTER THJS?????#I KNOW THIS IS JUST PLASIBO BUT I FEEL LILE I COULD RUN#LIJE FAR OR SOMETHINH#what if i hide the bottle of gel on top of my trans flag on my ceiling#no that’s a bad idea#PK IM GONNA TRY TO GO TO BED NOW GOODNIGHT!!!!!!!!!
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I love the crocodad theory a lot but I fear that the fandom will start misgendering him or respect the character less because of transphobia.
Oda have written queer characters before who are respected by the fandom such as Bonclay but for Crocodile its another story. He is their alpha male badass character and adding queerness to his character might make them mad. Not that I care about those bigots feelings but its already not easy to navigate this fandom without queerphobia being thrown in your face.
Ppl can digest a queer character who fit in the stereotypes but once they dont, its another story.
Same, people are weird as fucking hell and gross about Crocodile maybe being trans already, we can be sure it would get worse if him being trans was confirmed in the story, there would be absolutely no avoiding it
But at the same time...
Transphobes are gonna be transphobes regardless, and I don't want that to become a reason for any storyteller to not create trans characters. I don't want Oda to bend over backwards to please the transphobes when they're the ones in the wrong. If anything, I want Oda to just go all the way with the message of queer liberation and freedom in One Piece. Like it's not perfect, but it's already there, but it's so subtle many queerphobes have been able to ignore it this whole time and I don't want Oda to let them ignore it anymore. I want him to rub it into their faces so hard they'll start complaining about "Oda going woke"
And like, let's be real. If Crocodile was trans and Oda pulled it off just right (without falling into certain pitfalls that he's be stumbling with this whole time with queer rep), that could unironically be like. Great not just trans rep but trans masc rep in particular
Like maybe it's just the media I've consumed but trans masc rep is typically very non-existant and/or very much like Yamato, who, while valid as hell, might not be how many trans masc people want to be seen as by others (as in, "confused girls")
We've known Crocodile as a character for 23 years at this point, and for the first 8-9 years of that he was very much seen as A Manly Cis Man (like you said) without a hint of a doubt (until Impel Down). If it turned out he had been trans this whole time, that would force people to rethink how they view trans people.
As just regular fucking people
That person you knew for years turned out to be trans? So what? What does that actually change about them? It's still the same person deep down. Those are the things Oda could force people to think about.
And honestly? If that helped convert even just a single transphobe, or educate someone without an opinion on trans people, to just letting trans people live their lives in peace, I think it'd be worth it
But like, yeah. The transphobes are gonna be loud regardless. It fucking sucks, and I hate the fandom for it. But, damned if you do, damned if you don't, there's no avoiding it. And I think the potential positive impact would outweight the already festering negativity.
#Moon posting#Sir Crocodile#CW Discussion of transphobia#Mind you this is assuming Oda pulled it off right#By which I mean he doesn't give Crocodile some stupid fucking excuse to why he transitioned#Like ''wanted to escape being a woman'' or ''because being a woman was weak'' or something fucking stupid#I don't think Oda knows what gender dysphoria even is so the idea of Crocodile transitioning to deal with that feels like a bloody pipedrea#But literally even just ''preferred being a man'' would be fine#The bar. Is so fucking low#My other thing is that I absolutely do not want to see him get detransitioned. At all.#Like a lot of people have been speculating that the reason we never see Crocodile use Haki might be because it could detrans him#And regardless of if that's canon or not-- I do not want to see him detransition. At all.#If we see him pre-t in a flashback that's fine#I just don't want to see him have to sacrifice his comfort for a dramatic scene where he has to ''go all out'' or something#(Especially because knowing Oda there is no way he would do that without sexualizing him for no good reason)#Honestly I am more concerned about Oda fucking it up than the fandom being gross#My bar is so fucking low and yet so impossibly high for Oda#Also what gets me about Crocodile is that usually the queer characters are young and/or amab#And this is true for literally all of the other queer rep in OP rn#Crocodile is almost a middle aged trans man and honestly would that not be like a breath of fresh fucking air#OP Meta
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girls when they have a crush moodboard
#girls* gender neutral of course#i had a particularly queer interaction with my little work crush today and i am going to fucking die about it#i spent my lunch break scouring the various bloody sam photo comps on here#cause i was like... i feel like the center sam image rn. i'm fucking dying so badly#insane. i'm insane#spn#sammy#theo.txt#ok back to work bye
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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo#.diaries#zzzzz
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hi everyone, this is my monthly check-in <3
#not feeling so great lately...there's a lesion on my other knee now#and it most likely is cancer.#they want me to wait another 10 days for an mri???? like ur crazy#if u think i can wait that long.#sighhhhhhhhh.#anyway.#some cool things have happened#like spending all day in nyc with my partner on friday <3333#and um. i did wnt to vent about smth so uh.#ED tw#lately#my energy has been too low for me to wanna cook. which in turn made my stomach shrink a LOT#since i've been surviving by grazing on snacks.#and i didnt even realize i lost weight until i went to the doctor.#i didnt realize though that it would be even MORE lost when i weighed myself without my winter clothes#and uhhhh. i currently weigh what i weighed in my senior year of high school#which is the FIRST time i've been under a certain number in over SIX YEARS.#and i havent struggled at all w body negativity or ED thoughts in over a couple years. but.#now that my ideal gender expression has shifted more to the feminine side. and now that ive lost weight.#my brain INSTANTLY latched onto that#and was like omg YES do more of that#and it feels nice. this time im FINALLY not struggling to suppress my appetite!!! my body is doing that for me!#and obviously im still eating enough to live on#but still a huge caloric deficit. and rn my wheelchair shit keeps breaking on me. my mobility company is INCOMPETENT.#and my insurance might tell me i have to wait FIVE MORE YEARS for another type of chair......I WILL DIE BY THEN.#ugh everything is so complicated now. and im ALWAYS exhausted bc the sun sets at 4:30. i've just stopped binging and i replaced it with+#a LOT. of retail therapy. i've easily spent probably 1500 of my credit limit in the last 2 months. but you know.#that and not eating are 2 of the ONLY things i can control rn. out of all the fucking bullshit these useless people and my body put me thru#anyway. i'm sure you can tell how i feel rn. i'm just going to try doing anything else today.#vent
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Hey, does anybody want to hear about my most recent bout of gender euphoria?
Too fucking bad! I'm telling anyway! Hahahaha!
So, I have taken to talking to myself whenever I'm driving home from college, it helps me organize my thoughts, and I recently got a pink frog plush, and it is so cute, but I had never felt the urge to enjoy pink as a color, or never felt comfortable liking it. So looking at that frog, it finally clicked, that I'm growing and changing, even if it's just being comfortable having a pink plushie, even if my transition might have to wait, I'm never going to stagnate, I'll always be who I want to be.
#trans#transgender#mtf trans#gender euphoria#i just feel so nice rn#fucking color euphoria???#aparently?
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if you're a literal god and you can't prove your girlfriend innocent until her reincarnation shows up 1000 years later to do it for you, you're bad at your job
#The Last Immortal#cdramas#I do like this one much better than Ancient Love Poetry#don't get me wrong#but sometimes the writing has me like are you fucking kidding me rn#also fuck the immortals#you have magic powers and live forever! why do you still impose dumb social status crap and bureaucratic red tape on everything??#I do like how the show (or at least the subtitle/translation team?) went gender neutral on the titles#that was cool#and lots of ladies in positions of power while the men are varying degrees of dumb and useless and evil#except the Emperor#and those guys in Daze sect#but they were so upright of course they had to die#I vary wildly between hating and sympathizing with Hua Shu at any given moment#she doesn't feel like your average 2FL and I love that about her#op
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I wish i was a boy so i could get my ears pierced and piss off so many stupid people but be soso beautiful 😔😔😔
#just had to endure the most stupid fucking conversation#i feel like especially when you KNOW men who have their ears pierced like its giving insecure#and unnecessarily nasty#and mind your business#i need to cut my hair really short again so i can balance the world#actually lets talk about that in these tags rn because why not#i have really been grappling lately with whether i like having my hair a bit longer or not#because Technically i look 'Better' with it a little longer. but the main reason i like it short because the physical sensation of hair on#my neck etc bothers me soooooooo much. like i can live with it. its not a big deal but bruhhh#if i honestly thought i could pull it off i would shave my head entirely. but i simply like the Look of hair on my head so here we are#but yeah hashtag annoying and idk what to choose#le text post#anyways. any and every gender can do whatever the fuck they want to their body and wear what they want and ppl should stop saying its weird#or gay or feminine or whatever the fuck else they think is an insult!!!!!#aaaaaaaaaaaa
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