#or gay or feminine or whatever the fuck else they think is an insult!!!!!

[rainingincale]

I wish i was a boy so i could get my ears pierced and piss off so many stupid people but be soso beautiful 😔😔😔

[cuculine-nelipot]

I kind of see your point, but I just can't fully agree. Yes, there is a chain of logic to follow from Izzy using feminising language with regards to Lucius, Stede, (and ultimately Ed, but his relationship with Ed is a whole other thing so I'm not going to touch on it here), to reading him as homophobic, but that still requires the presupposition of being gay as inherently feminine in some way. It is possibly that for him to have rigid views on masculinity without being homophobic.

Then there's the fact that (and I know this show couldn't give a hoot about historical accuracy) they way Stede dresses and carries himself has nothing to do with sexuality (we can't even definitively say that he was at all aware of his attraction to men prior to meeting Ed), and everything to do with his class.(I know there is an implication that he was bullied in school for being queer, whether or not he or anyone else really knew it, but the flashbacks to his father clearly attributes his "softness" to his privilege, something Bonnet sr implicitly worked for but did not grow up with.) It's by no means a stretch to think that Izzy equates Stede's "softness" to his social standing in broader society. Considering that he's a pirate (which most likely means that he was already marginalised and disenfranchised in some way: class, sexuality, religion, something else, or a combination) that seams far more likely to me. That Lucius has had an education also heavily implies that, unlike the rest of the crew, he at one point occupied a place of privilege too. The we acts also suggests this - he's the only one who openly defies Izzy, he has no respect for Izzy's (very real, he is the manager) authority. So yeah. I still don't necessarily think that him using feminising language or insulting Lucius for his "promiscuity" is necessarily rooted in homophobia. Do I think his aggression comes from a sense of jealousy? Sure. They clearly both have a certain freedom he feels like he does not, but that doesn't mean he's ashamed of his sexuality. And his "coming out" arc in season two doesn't necessarily mean he's ready to "accept himself" because he's "letting go of shame". He's in an extremely different place in season two. Namely, he stops being Blackbeard's first mate, he stops being having to be responsible and now he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

I cannot believe that people are still saying things like "Izzy had internalised homophobia" or "Izzy wasn't queer coded in season one because he was the hypermasculine foil to everyone's queerness", because it's just so superficial it's shocking. Queerness does not equate to femininity, even if you're a man. You can be a gay man and still traditionally masculine. It does not mean you have internalised homophobia. It just means that you're a man who just so happens to present as traditionally masculine while also being attracted to other men. No, Izzy may not have been queer "coded" in that he's not campy, but that doesn't detract from the fact that his intense devotion to Edward (Edward - need I remind you that he says his name more than anyone else in this show) - to Edward's life, happiness, and every wish, that his sense of betrayal when Edward started shutting him out, did stem from a love he clearly knew he had, even if he didn't say it out loud.

"But he was the foil to the other characters' overt queerness!" Maybe! But that does not mean that he wasn't comfortable with his sexuality. Not everyone gay and over 50 is closeted and ashamed. The only thing "homophobic" he did was yell at Lucius and Pete for not working. I hate to break this to you, but telling people to do their jobs isn't actually homophobic. What he really was a foil to was the comedic genre. The tension between him and the other characters lies in his extreme rationality and doom's day mentality, and their whimsical certainty that everything's fine.

Also, please show me where this hypermasculity actually is. He's good at sword fighting? Okay? Watching him flick a sword around and twirling on his little fleet smacks of Manliness to you? Do you also think Zorro is the straightest man to every straight? He keeps telling people to do shit? Okay? It's his job? Only men are frustrated middle-managers? He's shouty? You're right, I've never met a shouty woman in my life! They simply must not exist, and the ones that do are butch. He wears all black? I mean ??? He's aggressive? Edward is shown, on screen, to be far more aggressive than he is and y'all will swear up and down that he's effeminate because we saw him in another man's dressing gown.

Please. For the love of God. Stop trying to understand everything as a checklist of tropes. Nothing actually works that way.

[loveoaths]

random sabito things.

some people are really into cute people/things ( konpeito ); others are into sexy ( mpenda ) or awkward ( ruka ), scary/weird ( senjuro ). not sabito. sabito’s favorite type of thing/person is ridiculous. he does not totally Get this, so rest assured he’s just as confused about it as you are.

on that note: his favorite animal is the duck. because look at that thing. it’s made for water, land, and air, but isn’t particularly graceful or well suited for either. it makes a stupid sound when it talks and an even stupider sound when it walks. he’s quietly obsessed. he knows a concerning amount about them and can identify most species in under 5 seconds.

masculinity and strength are very important to him. he was raised in an environment that valued these two attributes above all else, and to question a man’s masculinity or strength was to question his identity, his worthiness, and his general value in society. he is very comfortable in his masculinity, but when he’s younger it is still a trigger point for him. he will not rise to most barbed insult aimed at his masculinity, but some can get under his skin, and he will feel forced to defend his honor in some way, shape, or form.

sabito has an incredibly neglected inner child. he grew up never feeling like he was allowed to be soft or have soft things, or to feel like a child. his childhood was nonexistent, and he doesn’t realize that isn’t the norm until he meets people who had toys as children. as a result, he subconsciously practices several self disciplining techniques to berate and contain his inner child. he also has several self soothing techniques, namely sleeping with two secret small stuffed animals. however, doing so causes him great shame, so whatever relief he gets from this is quickly undone.

because he respects strong people, including some strong women, sabito does not think he’s sexist, but he is. believing women to be inherently ( “biologically” ) weaker is a mindset he was raised with, and like most -isms, this thinking is incredibly insidious and difficult to completely remove from one’s thinking. like many people in the 1920s and even today, his way of thinking is not uncommon. the first person to explicitly challenge this is @kyousei’s kyojuro, who introduces the co-water hashira to mitsuri, who challenges just about every conception sabito has about men vs women, and femininity vs masculinity. this is an ongoing character flaw of his, and one that, hopefully, will be completely unlearned by him some day. i will not be speedrunning that arc with him, so when interacting him please keep in mind that it may come up in his inner thoughts and some dialogue.

his libido is average. however his incredible self discipline means sex is something he rarely engages in and does not spend much time thinking about at all.

he is a good teacher to his tsugoku, but by god is he fucking tough. he’s not as bad as sanemi, but training with him is no laughing matter. but once you’ve passed the training of the day, he softens and becomes warmer and more encouraging in his older brother fashion.

under that duty-bound persona and cold fox mask ( which he continues wearing, in honor of his tutelage ) is a surprisingly charming and boyish smile.

he has incredibly sensitive ears. for the longest time he cannot fucking stand being anywhere near kyojuro or ANYONE loud. however he eventually learns sign language so he can converse with kyojuro without wanting to commit a felony.

sabito is 100% mentally a manly-man type of guy. not in the typical way: he isn’t high fiving all the time or whatever. he just values strength and works hard to maintain his, and he maybe focuses on physiques a little too often. however, sometimes he mentally goes so Dudebro that it gets a little gay. he is homiesexual, if you will.

he does not get along with obanai. foxes eat snakes, and all of that. also obanai looks like a stiff breeze would snap him in half and that, plus mitsuri mooning over obanai, rubs him the wrong way something awful. he claims it isn’t his business and that he has no opinion on the other hashira’s business, but he is most definitely watching mitsuri and obanai way too closely when no one is watching. it’s the obtuse bisexuality, y’all.

oh, right. almost forgot: he thinks he is 100% straight despite the steadily ramping evidence to the contrary.

[i-did]

hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go: 

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight. 

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc. 

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn. 

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair. 

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves. 

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them. 

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn. 

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums. 

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

 but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one. 

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation. 

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so. 

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene. 

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read. 

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t. 

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive. 

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol. 

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else. 

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing. 

[bi-spy-who-might-be-high]

I was showing my step dad a tik tok of a straight boy in a skirt (straight okay keep this in mind its very important) and my step dad goes i just know hes gay aint he. I went no why. Him "because his in a skirt no straight man would wear that". Me "okay all because you have toxic masculinity doesnt mean the boys of my generation do too. Him "what does that mean I am very confident (idk if thats what he said i forgot lol) in my masculinity. Me "okay so is he. Also straight boys can do feminine things. Clothes dont have a gender, makeup also no gender, and believe it or not painting your nails isnt just for one gender" him " whatever". Anyways it ended with me laughing and him pissed because apparently i insulted his masculinity. Oops. Once again there was more to it but its either not important or just to much.

If it makes YOU happy then fuck everyone else.

If you are a straight male who does feminine stuff good for you.

If you are a gay and you do feminine stuff good for you.

Why do we have to have gender that gender this. If a male does that hes gay. If a girl does that then shes lesbain (I had a similar convo with i think my cousin about a girl doing something typically a man thing and i was like bitch what)

Like just stop and let people live. Its not that fucking hard.

[trashcatsnark]

What’s your opinion on Kerry being available to only male V when it’s mentioned in-game that he’s bi (correct me if I’m wrong, I have terrible memory)?? I feel like they should’ve had bi romance options if they were able to implement both gay and straight ones.

Oh anon, oooooh anon. I love you dearly, but you intentionally or not might as well have thrown lit dynamite in my ask box. This discourse has been such a strange beast within this fandom and I have definitely shared some vague thoughts about it before. I’m putting everything under a read more, to help stave off some....harassment or putting it in people’s lives who may not want it. 

 I still remember I was frankly heartbroken and upset when I first learned Kery wasn’t romanceable by female V when the game first officially came out, but before I played it; River and Panam weren’t even really known about, cause they weren’t talked about much in the promo material,  plus Kerry was shown in romance scenes with what looked to be female V. So, if you go back far enough you’ll find me in December cope posting and being the saddest and angriest of beans, because other than Johnny who I knew was likely off the table. He was one of the only characters I wanted to potentially romance. Now, I’m further away from it, have  processed my feelings regarding it and am more rational I believe regarding the issue. 

But, that being said, a large issue of this sort of discourse is that; no matter what anyone says, someone somwhere is upset. I’ve been insulted, blocked, accused of fetishizing gay men, and so much over my opinion regarding this matter. I’m still currently debating if I even wanna tag this, cause the issue almost always brings negativity to my blog and to me. I have very little interest in being berated for this, so we’ll see how I feel after I finish typing this all out. I’m going to try to go through all my issues, my points, my troubles and feelings about the matter. But, at the end of the day, it is merely my opinion. If someone disagrees, fine, just don’t attack people or berate them over pixels in a video game. Just dont. That’s all I ask. Okay, so I’m gonna divide this into talking points and whatever, now. 

Firstly, Kerry is bisexual. Point blank, period. I’ve seen folks try to argue that his wife was like comphet, which if you dont know means that sometimes exclusively homosexual people will try to force themselves into heterosexual relationships because society has conditioned them to believe they have to be straight. While, I’m not negating the fact that this happens, as a bisexual/pansexual (I use the terms interchangeably to define my experience and feelings)  person I’ve struggled with it when making sense of my attraction to women. It genuinely is something that happens. This is not the case for Kerry; he doesn’t ever hide his attraction to men, between TTRPG lore and the video game he has had two wives , and he is stated by game developers and TTRPG creator to be bisexual.He is bisexual. Getting that out there, saying other wise, in my opinion is a level of bi erasure. That being said, I do still have my grievances with how the game chose to handle his bisexuality and bisexuality as whole, also imo, the game generally doesn’t seem...to treat players who are attracted to men well… 

But before I get into that, I wanna make clear, I feel like Cyberpunk 2077 should have had more romance options for every orientation. If you’re not going to create a player-sexual style of romance; ie where every romanceable character is attracted to the player regardless and wish to focus on each character having their own predetermined sexuality; only have one character for each sexuality is kind of bullshit. If you’re a lesbian player and you’re not into Judy, you get nothing, except a fuck around with Meredith (who I will get to later). You’re a straight woman, but not into River, shit out of luck. You’re a gay man who’s not into Kerry, sucks to suck bud. You’re a straight man who’s not into Panam (kind dont get how you wouldn’t be but who am i to judge), well, you can fuck Meredith… so woooo. Oh also, if you’re not attracted to women, you will still be forced to watch in first person pov a sex scene with Alt and if you want Johnny to like you, you gotta date a girl. Also, all the male love interests will be sidelined mostly…. Hooray… But I digress, either go in with all romance options bi/pan/player sexual, or give more options for romance. Cause now you have the issue of people not getting the partner they hoped for and not liking their only option. Now, you got people trying to make the Judy  bi, which is lesbian erasure and lesbophobic, along with people saying Kerry isn’t bi and can’t be with women which is bi erasure and biphobic. Whereas, if you had just gone in from the get go with either more options or a player-sexual romance system; we wouldn’t be here, CDPR. 

Okay, so next thing, now that I’ve addressed my issues with the entire romance system and that yes, Kerry is bi. Should Kerry have been able to be romanced as female V? Yes and no. Which sounds vague, but I’m going somewhere. With the current set up of it; Kerry being romanceable to a female V would have unfairly given female players an additional love interest over male players. Female V would have the option of Judy, River, or Kerry. And Male V’s would have the option of Kerry or Panam. That’s not fair. I get that, inherently. CDPR painted themselves into a corner, by only letting there be two romances for “each” gender, one for “each” sexuality, and then using a canonically bi character for one of them. They played themselves, they were either gonna have to give an unfair amount of love interest to one side of their gender system or make a bi character who will only pursue one gender. So, they went for the latter. 

Now, some people feel thats fine, because Kerry having a gender preference is fine and its okay for bi people to lean a certain way in regards to gender and its okay for them to not be attracted to people. And that is true. I am a bisexual woman who leans a little more towards men, I get that. However, I have only been given one reason for Kerry’s preference for male V over female V. And it was by a developer of the game who stated that Kerry pursues Male V and not Female V because Male V reminds him more of Johnny… And I hate that. I personally, hate it so deeply, because to me it does a complete disservice to Kerry and V’s relationship and Kerry’s arc. Because even with female V you see him being preoccupied with Johnny and V’s connection to Johnny, then you see him move past that. So, to then state, its still a deciding factor in him romancing V is so wrong to me. Like why???? Why would you do that to people who like Kerry??? Why would you put that in their heads, that Kerry on some level, subconsciously or not, was thinking about Johnny when he decides to romance V. Cause that’s not in the game, in the game you get the vibe he’s moving on past Johnny, like he’s growing, developing, genuinely likes V. But that stupid tweet, just radiates rancid vibes, whyyy???  

And then, outside of that nasty tweet, I have to ask what other reason is there for why he prefers male V over fem V.  They’re...the same characters essentially, just with different pronouns and body type. They also can look like whatever you want; they’re completely customizable. So, Its based off of what the game associates with  gender characteristics and nothing else, meaning, his attraction is rooted solely in their gender and he turns down fem V by virtue of them being a woman and nothing else. Which, yeah, bisexual/pansexual people have preferences but when that preference completely excludes a gender based on nothing but gender…. Uhh????? See my issue???? 

And I’ve seen people saying, well, its better than CDPR playing into slutty will date anybody bisexual stereotypes. But, the thing is...THEY STILL DO THAT which is what drives me up the god damn wall; they managed to do slutty bi stereotypes and I don’t even get kiss the boy, which again, I get the need for fairness but wow, just wow. And lemme explain. 

Meredith is the only character, other than joytoys, whom you can have sex with regardless of gender, body type, etc. She is the only character who shows that she is attracted to V on some level regardless of gender. 

She is a one night stand. Her sex animations are the same as joytoys. She treated like a promiscuous love phobic woman.  And having characters like that is fine, my own V is promiscuous and love phobic. But, we can acknowledge that in a video game by a AAA game company having the only character who is at least physically attracted to the player no matter what, be nothing but sex fodder...isn’t great bi representation, right? 

Oh, and Kerry himself still is a promiscuous bisexual man, he just won’t romance female V because apparently, according to a dev, they don’t remind him of Johnny enough. AND THATS THE DEVS WORDS, NOT MINE, I HATE THAT. Like, Kerry is shown to have people’s lingerie around his house. He’s stated by Johnny to be someone who fucks around. He gets a blowjob from a man in a stairwell. 

The two most blatantly canonically bi character in this game are promiscuous; one wont romance V at all and just wants sex, the other will only romance a male V because at worse, he’s comparing them mentally subconsciously to his dead friend and at best….because….reasons…. Literally, from what I understand for Kerry to romance V, they have to have the “male” body type and “male” voice. Meaning, fem V could literally by all appearances look like masc V, body type wise, but because she uses female pronouns and has a feminine sounding voice...no… the stars say no… 

In my honest opinion, it is bad bisexual representation and a not so well thought out romance system for a game. 

But, that being said, I literally never romance anyone, because I’m a Johnny simp. So, the fuck do I know.

oh god do i tag this.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[volturialice]

Spork Haven chapter 21: pea fucking green

welcome to spork haven, where I spork the EL James fic you’ve never heard of

previous chapter | next chapter | contents

previously on Spork Haven:

actor!Edward and cello playing murder witness hotel maid!Bella had sex a bunch and it was boring! finite resources were wasted! one of the finite resources was my time!

what’s the opposite of a content warning? I feel I should probably warn you about this chapter's lack of content.

things this chapter doesn’t contain:

a mafia murder attempt

anything else of note

things this chapter does contain:

????

yeah, this chapter should not exist. nothing happens in it. I will endeavor to summarize it anyway but I will be tapping my foot the whole time because WHERE is my mafia murder attempt ERIKA

Edward wakes up next to Bella. he goes outside in the hallway and says good morning to Jasper, who he notes is

you know, lest we forget this is an el james fic, in which every character is contractually obligated to be jealous of the protagonists and I am not allowed to have a single moment’s peace.

Edward thinks about how Jasper has been basically living with Bella for the last six months and the idea “fucks [Edward] off big time.” who’s pea-fucking-green now, bitch

then Edward heads to work, stopping on the way to take pictures and sign autographs with the “rabid teens” in his hotel lobby, who surprise him by being polite and respectful after he has (internally) insulted them for a paragraph. then he calls Emmett.

how is Emmett answering his phone the single hottest thing that has happened in this entire 70,000-word work of erotica? probably because it’s the only hot thing that has happened in this entire 70,000-word work of erotica.

mmm, that’s right. answer that phone you giant sexy laconic sasquatch

anyway, Edward asks Emmett to coordinate Bella’s security with his security for the awards show that evening, and puts Emmett in touch with his people. then he calls Taylor to tell him to coordinate with Emmett. Taylor isn’t happy that Ed is taking Bella to the show, so Edward yells at him to “make it happen.”

there’s a knock at Edward’s trailer door and it’s Eric (hi Eric!) and Bella. Bella is 100% fooled by the fake bruise the makeup department has painted on Edward’s cheek, and rushes to his aid in a flurry of concern. has Little Orphan Dumbass never seen a movie? I’d call Edward a morosexual but he is, by his own admission last chapter, a “fucking moron” himself, too. I guess it’s erika who’s morosexual.

much like in canon, Edward doesn’t like that Bella seems to be getting along with Eric.

remember guys, if your gf is nice to another man it means she’s cheating with him. all women are skanks, especially when they are dating you.

it doesn’t help that Bella is dressed extremely provocatively:

so fuckable. where are your khakis you wh*re

Edward asks Bella where Emmett and Jasper are

no!! I thought we decided they were the Chuckle Brothers!!!

Bella tells Edward she has to confess something to him. he, being a decent, confident, self-assured man who is secure in their relationship, reacts in a totally chill, normal manner.

ugh, tell me about it Edward. I can’t tell you how many times a day the same thing happens to me. we should start a support group. stay strong. ✊😔💭🤠

but all Bella confesses is that she hasn’t seen any of Edward’s movies. this is a huge turn-on for Edward, because as he likes to remind us 15,000 times per chapter, he hates his fans.

he shows her around the set and they go see Laurent, the wardrobe guy, who in this fic is Camp Gay. he and Bella have a conversation in first-semester high school French which Edward immediately shuts down because not even gay men are allowed to speak to Bella. 

then he orders Laurent to find something for Bella to wear to the awards show.

um. do I need to point out that “obtain perfectly fitting designer dress for lead actor’s rando gf mere hours before an awards ceremony” is absolutely not in the job description of a given film’s wardrobe department? I’ll go ahead and point that out just in case. Edward also needs a tuxedo, something he has not informed Laurent of until this very minute

then Edward is called back to do more filming, and excuses himself in an extremely naturalistic and well-constructed sentence

by the time Edward is done filming, Bella has gotten her hair and makeup done and he waxes poetic about how hot she is or whatever but I’m literally too tired to tell you about it.

then they eat lunch with Emmett, Jasper, and Eric. Edward notes that Bella is very quiet and doesn’t voice any opinions, and she tells him she has had zero say in where she goes or what she does for the last six months while in witness protection. as a rich and famous actor, Edward can totally relate.

Edward asks Bella how she managed to take him on their picnic date to the lake a few weeks ago (oh so NOW we’re acknowledging that they’ve already been on a date? oKaY) and Bella tells him that actually Jasper was there the whole time, watching them.

I’m suddenly understanding why Bella didn’t want to have outdoor sex on that date.

Edward asks Bella why she’s bothering to testify when it’s put her in so much danger. um. she witnessed a murder, buddy. she was already in danger.

Bella tells him she’s the perfect witness because she’s insignificant, has no family, and no one will miss her if the mafia decide to off her. ah yes. totally normal things to say. luckily, she has a kind, gentle, supportive bf there to help her through these self-esteem issues with grace and eloquence

Bella points out that if she hadn’t been in hiding, they never would have met. Eric interrupts to tell them it’s time to get ready for the awards show, and as he changes, Edward reflects on his mistakes:

oh, come on! girls love flowers and shit! I thought we learned that lesson back in chapter 5!

anyway they get ready, Edward has ten thousand orgasms at the sight of Bella in formalwear, blah blah et cetera. the chapter ends with Bella smiling at Edward until he feels it “all the way to the end of his favourite organ.” then they walk toward their ride and that’s it, that’s the entire chapter.

...

.....what an absolutely DISGRACEFUL waste of space

best “fucks”

“fucking breakfast”

“girly fucking grin”

“pillar to fucking post”

“a large Edward fucking Cullen shaped space”

“fucking voyeur” (jasper)

“grinning like fuck” (edward)

“all fucking officious” (emmett)

“so fucking matter of fact” (bella)

“fucking depressed” (bella)

“feminine as fuck” (a skirt)

“a fucking sulky teenager” (edward)

next chapter: outlandish fucking statue

[cantusemyfuckingdickanymore]

Could we hear more about your genderfluid Gino headcanon 👀👀👀?

I wasn’t expecting anyone to be that interested, hahahaha

I suppose a lot of it hinges on it being an iteration of Gino who’s working through his misogyny and learning more about himself as he’s unlearning his own biases.

well and truly enough, he accepts Khonjin for who he is and Gilmore… Gilmore has his own ways of showing support for Khonjin, I guess I’ve become used to a slightly more “toned-down” version of him but still. (I think a lot of this started with train-whistles-at-night’s drawings of Gilmore in a skirt and you know I think he’d pull it off)

(it definitely inspired some of my own sketches pffft)

I guess I was thinking that since that one episode Gino realised there were some aspects of femininity that he identifies with that he’d never really had the opportunity to explore before.

it’s funny though because I don’t think he’s ever been really introduced to the proper vocabulary to even describe his personal feelings on gender, so a lot of the specific terms he could use are sort of beyond him. (hence, the sort of dialogue from Lemons into Lemonade in which he describes being “not like how Khonjin is”)

it’s not necessarily a binary sort of thing either, he doesn’t have a clear-cut sort of male/female identity so I think genderfluid fits the bill

he has moments with Gay Spaghetti Chef sometimes, talking about stuff like that. GSC is very patient and understanding, even when Gino isn’t.

I could imagine he’s pretty open to whatever pronouns too, they’re still adjusting to how it feels being addressed in particular ways.

mmmhhhh what else? I think Gino prefers not to wear makeup or shave, maybe on rare occasion they’ll get their legs waxed but that’s about it. If they do wear makeup it’s only a touch, not a full face, because they find it way too jarring.

they like wearing heels, but mostly for the height sometimes he just wants to feel tall

Gino also tends to prefer simple, fashionable clothes to more… girly sorts of things

I did a photoset a while ago which sort-of describes some of the things they’re comfortable in. (the original post was deleted along with 99% of everything else kh related I had on my blog rip)

they kept the ribbon too, it lost it’s effects but they still use it to tie back their hair sometimes. It’s symbolic I suppose.

they have a few more personal issues that sometimes interfere with how they see and present themselves, over the years they’ve had plenty of people insult and mock them for their weight, including Khonjin himself, and sometimes they end up reflecting that criticism onto bigger women as well.  It’s partially a bitter sort of longing, I think of Gino as someone who’s grown up with a lot of traditional gender roles forced on him.

My canon is that he’s the runt of the Fratelli litter, he’s smaller and younger than his brothers and feels like he’s always needed to be “more of a man” to compensate. it ends up being a lot more destructive on his part, to his own identity and to a lot of the women unfortunate enough to cross paths with him.

but, I guess that just means there’s a lot of room for improvement, I like to think that he’d start to get a better understanding of these problems as he’s learning about himself. Also with a few stern talks from Gilmore or Gay Spaghetti hahahahaha

I think the whole ordeal could be an interesting route of character development, you know Khonjin House seems to be rock bottom for Gino so why care anymore about how you dress or what you do? maybe initially it’s all him, realising that nothing he does matters and he’ll probably die at some point or another anyway, so who cares? at which point he realises that what he’s doing feels truer to himself than he’s ever been before

jaysus this is getting long

oh yeah, having the pizzeria is good for him too, like nobody can tell if you’re wearing a skirt if you’re standing behind a counter, or heels for a matter of fact. if someone’s got a problem, Gino can tell them to fuck off. being able to experiment in his own territory makes him more comfortable (…..)

(bonus because sshhh shhh this is good)

he’s also worn outfits for undercover mafia missions from the boss where the aim is to conceal one’s identity anyway

I don’t know if you can tell but @sexytitsfettuccine encapsulates my interpretation of Gino pretty well

thanks for the ask nonnie hahahaha

[curtisandlewis]

Dean kissed his husband on the cheek. “Happy pride,” he said before sitting down to breakfast.

“Thank you for not saying gay pride,” replied Jerry.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“It was a bisexual who threw the first brick is all I’m sayin’.” Jerry looked out the window down to Christopher Street where there apartment was. “Can you believe Stonewall is a national fucking monument?” He looked back at Dean. “I never thought I’d see that in my lifetime. Those cocksuckers. No. Wrong.” Jerry held up a finger. “That is the highest of compliments and I will never be insulted for being called one.”

Well, when you’re one of the best. Dean thought to himself. He couldn’t believe there were men that thought that was demeaning or made them less of a man. Even harder to believe is he was one of them. The hazards of being from an Italian family. At least in his experience masculinity was cherished just a little too much. When you were gay there was a lot of pressure to be the “right” kind of gay. Once he tasted his husband there was no turning back. He was a cocksucker and proud of it.

“I should call them what they are. Those fucking bigots at the LPC made a fucking gas station a landmark before even considering anything tied to our history.”

Jerry was young. Twenty-one to Dean’s thirty years. You didn’t typically see twenty-year-olds protesting the destruction of a building in the name of LGBT history but you always saw Jerry. He had passion for all he did and was deeply involved in their shared community’s fight. Jerry would always say, “If they take away our history, then what are we?” He was an advocate for not only gay and bisexual rights but trans rights too and every letter of the “alphabet.” Jerry opened Dean’s world up so much. Before he met him Dean didn’t even know what the gender binary was. “What do you think we would be like if we were alive during Stonewall?”

“Honestly? I’d be at Stonewall. I can throw a brick, boy! You’ve seen me with a baseball. As you well know, I’m a catcher and a pitcher.” Jerry winked at Dean before taking a bite of his pancake.

Dean felt himself blush. Even with no one else in the room he still felt shy and giggly thinking of that particular act. But at the same time, he felt a sense of deep pride for how much he had grown into his sexuality and that he was finally secure in his manhood.  

“I’d probably be with Marsha and Sylvia marching. Back then what they were doing for trans rights was connected to drag queens. STAR stood for Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries. Maybe I would start my own thing like gender nonconforming rights or something. That’s how they got you back then. If you had over a certain number of articles of clothing that didn’t conform to your gender they would arrest you. I identify as a man and I don’t go out walking around town in a dress but they would arrest me just for doing my job. Just for performing. Could you imagine? What they really needed though and what we need even more today is a movement that speaks for all of us that don’t fit the rules.” Jerry took another bite of his pancakes.

“What rules?” Dean asked before doing the same.

Jerry took a drink of his orange juice before answering. “What is masculine, what is feminine, male, female. The binary. The patriarchy. All of it. We just need to wake up and realize there are no rules governing our lives. We can fuck, and talk, and sing, and dance, and dress, and act however the hell we want.” Jerry took another drink and said, “provided we don’t hurt anyone.”

Dean remembered when they first started having sex. He placed so many rules on himself. When Jerry found out he told him, “That’s silly. You can do anything you want. All you have to do is ask.” And he asked. Having the kind of sex he wanted instead of forcing himself to have the sex he was told he should have was so freeing. He never felt like more of a man than at the times he was doing things that should have demeaned his manhood. Nine years his junior and Jerry knew so much more about sexuality. Not just sex but everything connected to it. “I think you would be the perfect man to lead that movement.” He could see it now. Jerry at the podium in protest wearing a dress and his glorious chest hair exposed screaming into the microphone. Then he realized he wasn’t in the picture. “Where am I in this revolution?”

“Right by my side,” Jerry smiled. “I’m sure we would still be here. Not in this place but on Christopher Street, definitely. We wouldn’t be married but we would be committed to each other and in our hearts, we would be married because you can’t legislate love. Even though, that’s the lie they came up with to convince “normal” Americans that we deserve rights too.”

Dean had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He could sense a speech coming on.

“Let me tell you something. I could love a woman my entire life and never be touched by a man which, by the way, doesn’t matter. They want to say love is love then I say bisexual is bisexual. Anyways I could be married to her and would I live a life free of discrimination? Would I be just like a straight man just because I married the opposite sex? And sex! It was same-sex marriage, not same gender I remember very clearly. So I have the proper kind of sex with a vagina and my life will be nothing but rainbows and lollipops. Or do I lose my job when they find out I’m attracted to men and do I still get my ass kicked every day in school and do my parents still kick me out at sixteen maybe not this time for having sex with a boy but I don’t know jerking off to gay porn and maybe I still become a fucking drag queen and face discrimination every day of my life. They weren’t thinking of my people when they came up with this they were thinking of your people.”

Did Dean mention he was passionate? He silently ate his breakfast while he let Jerry’s words wash over him.

After a few minutes, Jerry said, “I didn’t mean it like that,” while holding Dean’s hand across the table.

Dean put his hand on top of Jerry’s and smiled warmly. “I know what you meant.” In the beginning of their relationship Dean would get offended when Jerry would imply that the gay community could be oppressive. How could the oppressed be oppressive? But boy were they ever! Especially the guys he used to hang out with. The gold star gays. More than once Dean asked himself are these guys gay because they hate women? They hated everything about Jerry that made him unique and beautiful. After they met, Dean couldn’t stand to be around them. It felt like he couldn’t breathe. The exact same feeling he had living at home with his mother. Because he had finally woken up to the fact that it was the exact same thing. The constant pressure to be a man but only their definition and no one else’s. He saw what Jerry had to put up with and though it wasn’t a competition he wasn’t going to trade places with him anytime soon.

“It just makes me so angry people don’t understand they didn’t make ‘gay marriage’ illegal they made me illegal. I am who I am regardless of the gender I love. I can’t hide it and I never will. That is what Pride is about.”

Dean should have left it alone. After all the speech was beautiful and should have been said at Pride for everyone to hear. He couldn’t resist playing Devil's advocate though. “Yeah that makes sense now but what about when things were really bad. Could we really love each other in the fifties?”

“Dean, no one grants you the right to love someone. They can make it against the law for us to have sex. They can raid every public place we gather in. But they can never stop me from loving you. No one has control over my heart. Love is life. It’s what wakes us up in the morning and keeps us going. Everyone has the ability to love. Even Aromantics love their family and their friends and their dog. Love is what makes us who we are. Love isn’t love its humanity! My love for you is the very air in my lungs and I will fight with everything I have to be with you. I know that whatever time we’re in, wherever we are we will find each other and be together.”

Jerry’s eyes were a light. Love was his favorite topic of discussion and what he was most passionate about. Especially when talking about his love for Dean. Just from looking at him Dean knew that Jerry one day was going to change the world. Whatever time he was in, where ever he was he would be a one-man revolution.

“Would you risk it all to be with me?”

“In a heartbeat.” Dean had risked everything. He left behind his “friends” that acted like they were his community but really they weren’t. He went against everything he was taught and told was true. Everyone was against them being together and called Jerry jailbait even though Dean told them he made sure Jerry was eight-teen. His mother’s opposition couldn’t have been worse than anything the fifties could throw at him. Dean looked down at his wedding ring the best decision he ever made in his life. “I think we can both agree that there needs to be a lot of changes still but I think it’s the little things that are the most important. Like in the fifties I could never say I’m a proud gay man and I love my husband.”

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

From Grey, chapter 6

Temperance_V: So this is a special blog post featuring a guest blogger, which I've never done before but it seemed like a pretty fun idea since *basically* we talk more than enough to do this without going out of our way anyway. So, this week the blog is in the form of this chat log between me and Paleanghostly, who's mostly active over in the 'ghostlanx' fandom.

Paleandghostly: You have to put the scare quotes around it to remind people that I basically devote my days to looking at pictures of superheroes like a fourteen year old, of course. TV: I think most of your gang spend more time staring at their butts than most fourteen year olds do, P&G. P&G: You might be surprised. I remember being fourteen. TV: Anyway, we met a while ago now when P&G commented on my blog to insult my taste in whiskey and was somehow sort of charming about how stupid I am, and we ended up chatting. Now we play chess over the mail. P&G: Actually over the mail, on actual paper. It's a thing. TV: I genuinely look forward to the letter sneering at my last move once a week. So we're here to discuss something we've already been talking about anyway but it's been a *particularly* interesting chat, so we thought we'd share some thoughts with the wider internet. So this discussion got kicked off by the fandom reaction to this photograph of the Ghost and Phalanx from I think three weeks ago now? P&G: They'll remember the fandom reaction. It's the kind of wank that's so much bigger than the incident that caused it ever could be. TV: I'm not actually in the 'ghostlanx' fandom, btw, I should put that disclaimer out for anyone who's reading this *from* that fandom. If I seem like a n00b, forgive me. P&G: Please god stop putting it in scare quotes. Temperance usually blogs about anything interesting in the media and reactions to the media, for those who have followed *me* from phandom, and it was during one of her posts on Mad Men that I found it necessary to educate her in what we drink and what we use to clean toilets with. And it's *whisky*, please tell me you are actually drinking the stuff that is worth drinking and is not overpriced rebottled mouthwash by now. TV: Moving on. The photograph is a candid caught behind a police van, and shows the Ghost and Phalanx in conversation with a police officer - in suit and tie, so I'm guessing a detective but he looks a little young for it. No-one appears to be trying to arrest anyone. You'd think that would be have been the main point of discussion, P&G? P&G: *snort* Have you *met* fandom? Get to the interesting substance of the issue? No! We want exactly what we want and we want it exactly when we want it, anything deviating from this is a cause of deep personal offence to me and the *entire internet must stop and feel my pain!!* TV: So, it wasn't the crime scene they *weren't* arrested at that most people were talking about (though presumably, the 'enemy' you actually face on the streets you have more in common with than you do your own boss in their high rise office; if I was police I think I'd think we had bigger problems than superheroes too). P&G brought the discussion to my attention via the medium of much swearing, because she has a lot of feelings about these things. P&G: Oh please do make me sound like one of them. The reason I drew Temperance's attention to the response was - well, threefold. One is that in terms of gender politics and misogyny and homophobia amongst those who claim to not be bigots it was *fascinating*. Slash depressing. Two is that it was an eyebrow-straining example of the fandom entitlement complex. Three is that it gives us a very interesting insight into their identity and how very un-black-and-white that is - because people are more complicated than their labels, always. TV: Let's deal with gender first, though these issues do run through each other. This all came about because of the Ghost's posture in the photograph. He's standing quite close to Phalanx, who's facing and speaking to the police officer - I'm sorry, is that police officer really tall or is he actually that short? It's kind of adorable. P&G: He's like the Swiss army knife of superheroes. Flexible crime fighter, folds into your pocket afterwards. TV: Phalanx is speaking, standing with his feet apart, hands apart, gesturing - something, to what he's saying. Possibly just emphasizing a word. No-one even mentioned how Phalanx was standing? P&G: No. Because the Ghost was innocently standing next to him. TV: The Ghost is standing with his left arm crossed over his chest - his cloak makes it a little hard to see, but he's probably supporting the opposite elbow with his hand, because his right hand is held up loosely at shoulder height, as if propped off a desk. And he's got his hip cocked, and his head tilted the other way, it's a great photograph actually, his posture's like a da Vinci composition. P&G: I knew I liked you for a reason. It is a great picture. It's just enormously aesthetically pleasing, Phalanx standing sort of open and easy, the Ghost a longer but narrower zig-zag of angles, eyes on him. Both the Ghost and the cop are looking at Phalanx; the Ghost's expression, as much as you can make it out under the hood and mask, looks attentive and relaxed. Like you would look at your lover, mid-sentence. What fandom chose to cry and cause wank over is, Jesus fucking Christ, the way he's standing. TV: It's not the most masculine posture in the world. P&G: Why the *fucking* hell should it be? TV: Let's go through this in bite-size chunks so it's not just a string of expletives again. Why, as succinctly as possible, did fandom start a flamewar over the Ghost standing like that? P&G: Because they, the idiot ignorant children, fetishize homosexuality in the most contorted and disturbing way possible. Because they're fine with him being gay - happy that he's gay, since they can use his name and form for all their little m/m fantasies on a whole different level of appropriation now. But how dare he, human being in his own life, how *dare* he not conform to strict gender stereotypes at the same time. He's perfectly well allowed to be gay, as long as he does it the 'right way'. God forbid he be any kind of queer that disturbs them, though. TV: There was a lot of negativity. P&G: They don't want to see a male hero stand in a 'feminine' pose. It demeans him. It makes him less heroic. TV: Because to be female is to be less, and to be a male imitating a female is possibly the worst thing it's possible to be. Some of the responses were genuinely unsettling, I read some of your replies to them. P&G: I might have been angry, but I do not disown a single word of what I said. Disgusting self-absorbed ignorant little shits deserved it. TV: But not everyone was so negative about it. P&G: No. Some of fandom is actually populated by feminists and not by people who think that they know what that word means but have never actually thought it through. And then some of fandom is populated by people who further fetishize his femininity in again the most contorted way possible. We kind of had perfect storm conditions for the wank after that. TV: You posted a short piece of meta about it at the time. P&G: I posted a rant, please don't dignify anything that happened during that shitstorm with a respectful title. I hammered out at my keyboard my undying rage that these people were treating him like a doll to dress up how they pleased, and then throwing tantrums when he failed to live up to what they'd dressed him up as in their heads, or subsuming him under the further homophobic, misogynist, *the opposite of accurate* image of him as a swooning 'heroine' in need of big strong Phalanx to 'rescue' him. TV: Little strong Phalanx. P&G: I sense some favoritism developing. TV: He's really cute now I've *looked* at him. Look, I'm not in this fandom, this is not my war to step into. But it *is* interesting. Because, obviously, there's a lot of misogyny involved in campophobia - even in the queer community, the feminine man is despised. P&G: Yes. A loud part of the queer community, weirdly, strives for heteronormativity. We focus on gay men and women as being 'normal', the way straight men and women are 'normal'. Possibly just because it makes us less threatening to straight people, or helps us deal with internalized homophobia, I don't know. But that 'normality' is a lie whether the person in question is gay or straight, these categories are weird, and troublesome, and some of them are actively steeped in hatred and lies. The only thing to do is let it go. 'Normal' has only ever been an illusion. It is all so much more complicated than that you would not *believe*. Let gender be whatever it will be, and stop trying to shame people into going about it the way you're comfortable with. People are who they are and they love who they love. No-one should ever have to sit in a labelled box that someone else nailed the lid down on. TV: Fandom's largely female and yet we still perpetuate the weird misogyny wrapped up in all of this. P&G: Fuck the patriarchy that lives in our own heads most of all. TV: And the weirdest part of it is, everyone knows who he is - he's a hero. There is so much photographic evidence of his extremebamfery that it was a struggle to narrow down which gifs to illustrate the point with. P&G: He haunted New York on his own for five years before Phalanx showed up. Criminals are terrified of him, there's enough documented evidence of that. He can take down a dozen guys all bigger than him and then stroll away when the cops arrive, the last man standing and still unarrested. He kicks so much ass and we've always admired that. He also just copes with what must be a frequently distressing and draining occupation - most of what he deals with on any individual night could be completely traumatic to many people. I admire his strength and bravery utterly. And somehow people cannot square that strength, bravery, and bamfery with the image of him standing with his hip cocked *like a girl*. TV: Because, really, the two just aren't connected. They literally have nothing to do with each other. It's not that either should make the other difficult, there is no logical inconsistency in his not being traditionally masculine and his simultaneously kicking lots of ass. P&G: No. It was never his testosterone-fuelled uber-manliness that kicked ass. It was him. Exactly as he is. He's the same person kicking ass as he is standing next to Phalanx, in what is to him an unconsciously comfortable position - it's only since Phalanx came along that he's started relaxing like that, btw, *that* is clearly what's comfortable to him, not that wary cloak-covered hunch he always wore before. And it says so much more about fandom, about *people*, than it does about *him* that people somehow cannot make the image of the butt-kicking man who stands 'like a woman' sit right. TV: Because - what, heroism is manly? Girls don't kick ass *like that*? Because like you said, there are those who emphasize and fetishize his femininity, and in so doing they often fail to capture the bamfy aspect of him. P&G: What this links in to is the fandom entitlement complex. TV: Go ahead, I can feel your need to preach. P&G: I have a rant brewing, if that's what you mean. The fandom entitlement complex links into fandom sexism in a really strange and powerful way. Because fandom feels like it *owns* its figures of fetishization; they are what they are because we made them that. There is an enormous sense of ownership, like they're just the scaffolding, *we* construct who they are. And of course, they can't live up to that. They're real people, not our dolls. And when they fail to live up to our particular construction we either ignore the facts and go on as before or else we get *really fucking angry*. How *dare* they be actual human beings. They're supposed to be *my doll*, not any real person. Especially not any complicated real person! They should be as simple as possible because I can't conceptualize more than three personality traits in my head at any one time, I am *actually* that dumb! TV: Ahem. Plus we live in a patriarchal society and we construct our dolls along the strict and misogynist gender lines given to us, which oversimplifies them in very dangerous ways. P&G: That's what worries me about many of the people who make the Ghost out to be 'girly' - they're often people who obviously really *identify* with the Ghost, and they still make him out to be weak. So what does that say about the psychology of some women in this world, that society taught us to hate ourselves so *effectively* that we even want our *heroes* to just be rescued, that when we use him as a stand-in for ourselves in *fiction* we still *make him weak*? Because the fic and meta where the Ghost is effeminate *and* is the still the strong, life-saving hero - well, I've rarely found it under the sheer mass of 'basically all the Ghost really wants is for Phalanx to *save* him' fic. TV: I mean, ouch, but yeah. It explains the bizarre popularity of misogynist romance fiction written for women by women, after all. P&G: Mm. So we construct our dolls as manly male heroes, and then throw a shitfit when the queer man actually turns out to be *too* queer. Or we construct them as weak and flimsy *caricatured* women with dicks, who angst and cry and need a more masculine partner to 'rescue' them. The entitlement complex is so strong that we either write over them with our own images - rewrite the Ghost entirely, forget that he kicks ass, forget his *strength*, because a 'girly' man could never be strong because *girls aren't strong* - or we rage and scream about all our butthurt that the hero turned out to not be a cardboard cut out MAN. The part where he's a hero - do I actually need to remind people that he stopped New York being blown up? (with Phalanx; they are partners, after all) - who is both 'feminine' and 'masculine', because we all are, because those labels fix to characteristics and not to people, *that* part gets forgotten. We want them to be what *we want them to be*. We forget that they're not obliged to be a damn thing for anyone except themselves. And often people in writing their definitions of other people do want to wipe queerness out. They want us to go back to that gender dichotomy. They either want him to be a 'man' (caricatured) or to be basically a 'woman' (caricatured) in male form, but they can't *stand* that he's actually just a human being, and human beings are difficult. TV: No middle ground? P&G: Are you shitting me? This is fandom. TV: So tell us how to fix this, great wise Ghostly. P&G: I appreciate your sarcasm so, so dearly. There is middle ground, I was being facetious. There was a small, feminist, pro-queer faction fighting this corner as loudly and rationally as they could. And Blackbindings - one of the fanficcers in the ghostlanx fandom - wrote a piece after that photograph was published called Graduation, which tried to actually ignore the wank and deal with what the photograph *did* teach us about the relationship between the Ghost and Phalanx. Because all that wank is nothing like the most interesting part of that photograph. In this fandom, *everyone* should have responded to that photograph how Blackbindings did, but unfortunately she's the only one with the brains to see what's actually important. TV: I haven't read the fic. P&G: It's a meditation - all of her fics are strolls around a subject, giving you new angles and a wider perspective to actually *see* something from, I swear she makes me realize I have my eyes *closed* half the time. It's a meditation on the balance of 'power' in their relationship. What power means, and doesn't mean, and how it doesn't have to dominate, those who have power can *share* it. We think of it like it's a limited resource but why can't everyone be powerful, if it's the right kind of power? It's about their teacher/student relationship. TV: You're going to have to explain that for those of us who aren't in the fandom. P&G: Tell me what you think it might mean from looking at that photograph. TV: I don't know. The Ghost is standing slightly behind Phalanx's shoulder, relative to that cop. It could just be that the way Phalanx is gesturing has knocked their shoulders out of alignment. It could be that Phalanx has *put* himself between them. It could be that the *Ghost* put Phalanx between them. It could be that Phalanx is taking the lead and the Ghost is happy with that. It could be that the Ghost is watching over him . . . P&G: Yes. It could be all of those things. And not one of us mentioned it because we were just too fucking busy screaming about the Ghost standing like a girl. The Ghost was there first, and it's pretty long been assumed by many that they had a teacher/apprentice role - the classic superhero/sidekick relationship. But it becomes obvious in that photograph - and when you look back, there's a lot of other pictorial evidence for it - that it's really not that simple, and maybe it never has been. TV: You know I love it when you elaborate. P&G: I'm sexy when I'm verbal. When you look back through gifs and photosets, whenever they're dealing with crime victims, the Ghost tends to be in front. His attention is all on the victim and Phalanx is looking at *him*. When they're dealing with criminals they're usually side by side and their attention is focused on the threat. But whenever they're dealing with anybody else - cops, reporters, fans, bystanders - usually Phalanx is the one in front and talking, and usually, the Ghost isn't looking at who they're dealing with, his gaze and his posture are orientated towards *Phalanx*. The Ghost often isn't even fully visible in those situations. Look at that photograph again; Phalanx is standing very at ease and in control of the situation, very relaxed being the one talking, and the Ghost is looking at *him*. This is not a hero/sidekick relationship. They have strengths and weaknesses and they complement each other. They actually are, in every sense of the word, partners. TV: That's quite sweet actually. P&G: If you're contemplating joining the fandom I advise you not to, it's populated mostly by cretins and children. Blackbindings is special. Very special, actually. She does cryptic crosswords for *shiggles*, I don't know if you've ever looked at one but they are torture for the mind. But it affects her brain in interesting ways. She called it 'Graduation', because partly the fic is about how they educate each other, empower each other (of course education is empowering: in her fic, knowledge elevates). But the fic is also very steeped in color terms. It gives it a really physical, sensual, *there* atmosphere, almost close enough to touch, and it was only when I remembered her twisty-turny cryptic little brain that I realised that 'graduation' is only a letter away from 'gradation'. It's the sort of thing she'd notice and play on, cunning little creature that she is. The way hues run into each other. There is no dividing line. The labels are a lie. Strictly, once you realize how difficult drawing a line between colors is, there aren't any *colors*; there's just *color*, and we fumble through labelling instances of it as best we can, pretending that the labels create real categories. They, the Ghost and Phalanx, are so much more complicated than anything we can paint them. Their identities are human identities and the labels are a *lie*. It's not that the labels aren't labelling something real but that they're only labelling *parts* of people when they are *wholes*. They are complex. They live in a world of gradations. They're not superhero/sidekick except for when they are, but who is which is a very blurry thing. Isn't it for all of us? TV: I can't tell if you're a fan of ghostlanx or of Blackbindings right now. P&G: Probably both. Sometimes I just contemplate that her mind exists and give a satisfied sigh that the world *must* be a reasonable place after all . . . TV: We should probably get back to the wank we were discussing. Did you have any closing thoughts on the subject? P&G: Just that being a fan is a very peculiar thing. We never know the person that we 'love' so much, though I do think that that love is often very sincere and fierce-felt, but we only actually know the doll we made of them in our own heads - with masked heroes the problem intensifies. And what we should do is be relaxed, and accept that people are always more complicated than we think they are - this has wider implications than fandom alone - and discuss these things in a way such that we can *learn* from it. Because learning, and the openness to strange new things that learning requires, empowers. The close-mindedness that treats people as characters to be owned by us, that demands simplicity where simplicity is an act of psychological aggression, that sense that we're entitled to special access to their identities almost more than they themselves are - all those things harm both them and *us* in thinking like that. And if people could not be dicks about gender norms that would also be really cool. TV: Indeed. The sheer scale of the meltdown is something to be appreciated, I dabbled in to take a look and - whoa, basically. P&G: It's a big fandom, when we make wank we make a *masterpiece* of wank. Still, most people did stay out of it. The sensible majority who just duck their heads and reblog gifs whenever the shit starts flying. TV: And do you have this week's move ready yet? P&G: It's in the mail, and you really should have seen it coming. TV: We'll see. So next week I'll probably be discussing US remakes of other countries' movies and TV shows, unless something more interesting happens in the meantime. P&G: Oh god, don't even get me started on that bullshit. TV: And it looks like you'll probably see Paleandghostly in the comments section next week too, ahem. Thank you for your contribution this week, P&G, couldn't have done it without you. P&G: You're more than welcome. I hope it was educational, at least insofar as discouraging people from irritating me quite so much. TV: See you guys next week, signing off!

[lifeafterthewake]

09.03.2019

So I’m at a friend’s house for a party. She had birthday last week so me and my partner came up with an appropriate present, asked the guests whether they want to join in, we split the costs, I got the present and got there (moderately early).

I’ve recently changed some things on my facebook so that it reads more feminine but I haven’t really talked about it with my friends yet so I’m really not in a position to argue against introducing me with my boy name. I guess it would have been nice if someone asked me but it’s more or less fine.

The party... well just goes on. More people come in. I talk to some, I avoid some. I discuss feminism, some anthropology, drink some wine, talk about university yada yada. Eat a lot of gluten cause life is stressful and people don’t have any snacks other than those. Apart from herring that was brought by my friend’s parents later but yuck, fish.

At some point I start using feminine verb endings (we’re not anglophones, we conjugate). Cause why not. I feel somewhat okay with it, at least around people I’ve more or less recognized as safe. Had they asked me why I’d tell them, why not. So it’s going okay, we talk about the academia, then I start talking about my masters, about gender of the brain, we move to the couch.

One of the male guests decides to sit by at some point. He’s drunk, most likely hetero, smaller than me. A person I wouldn’t normally talk to - there is just a certain type of aura around some men that I avoid, it’s hard for me to name it. I’m sitting with two girls, one of them my friend, another a girl one year younger than me who came with her husband. So he sits by and shoots me up with “Are you taking hormones?”.

It was so sudden that I just angrily replied “No.” To which he says either “If I were you I would be.” or “I think you should be.”

So at first I freeze, fuss a ltitle. Then I get angry and ask why does he feel like he has any right to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do with my body. He is defensive about it. In general he was coming up with bs that popped in his head. The more I tried to talk about why does he feel that he should give me his expertise the more he was going the route of “oh so you feel special” “oh you must have had a hard life”, asking me have I wished my mother happy women’s day to which I reply “no because I don’t have good relationship with my family” (which is true) to which he goes “that’s what I thought”. It’s just fucking unberable. A random guy with whom I haven’t even talked that evening gets up my goddamn medical business, while misgendering me throughout, victimizing me. Fucking pity from a cis-dude who has “friends like that” whom “hormones have helped”. This is fucking XXIst century, people. This is the pinnacle of fucking social progress. A heterosexual cis dude telling a person that reads at least as gay if not as gender nonconforming to go get her hormones therapy.

For what fucking reason should I get my hormone therapy? Do I go right this moment? Shoot myself up with whatever the fuck? To alleviate my dysphoria or to make him more goddamn comfortable with himself? And when my beard stops showing am I good enough then or not wearing makeup is still a sin? Do I speak in a higher tune and become more receptive to the words of critique? Is that good enough?

Since when is he an expert in telling me what to do with MY BODY. Maybe he is fucking right about me being wounded and anxious. But he wasn’t the one having each symbolic and physical hand of his fucked up mother on his body. He wasn’t the one bombarded with contradictions about how he should be. He wasn’t the one denied the right to be his own person. I was. I am a property. I am raised a property. A doll, a shell, a trophy. A music box to say what is expected. A mind to expect and to fear what must come.

And maybe I would like some pity but not from someone who comes in and shoves it up my ears. Not from someone who came to be oh so helpful to a transgirl while calling her with her boy name and using male-gendered verbs. Not from someone who brags how he has friends whom HRT has helped. I don’t know how they still call him their friend, maybe they are normative as fuck and it’s all fine and dandy in that weird word.

That made me angry.

But what made me sad was my friend and the other girl sitting with me explaining how it doesn’t matter, how it’s an opinion from a total stranger whom I don’t even know. ‘If you knew him and came up for an advice then you would be right to feel angry if he had said something insulting’, ‘it doesn’t matter’. I even asked my friend, attempting to somehow explain how I felt, ‘[name] shouldn’t you have a baby soon?” (obviously acting out an unfortunately popular scheme and I made sure she was aware of it). She brushed it off. She said that people say that to her sometimes and she doesn’t feel the need to fight them. That some people say those things.

I do not want to live in a world where people, especially women, are blind to policing of their bodies. In a world in which they get BANGED OVER THEIR HEADS WITH CULTURE SO LONG that they become completely desensitised to it. To someone else telling them how they should be.

The other girl sitting with us said that when, after coming back from abroad, she put on her husband’s coat and hat to go for shopping (because they were unpacked) he asked her ‘Are you going out like that? This is men’s coat!’. And she brought it up simply to say that she doesn’t care. That some people say these things.

Men and women say these things and I don’t know which is more enraging. Women say these things because they were taught to believe in them, taught that is how they should be, how a woman should be, and, by proxy, how every other woman should be. And men say these things not even thinking twice.

We are the panopticon but it’s always a man gazing. A man, some men - looking, objectifying, policing, victimizing, justifying, having expertise. Having oh so much expertise.

I am sad, I am angry, I am sick. No amount of estrogen will calm this feeling. I may be coming from the outside into what we call femininity but I certainly don’t feel like this is something to brush off or just accept ‘as it is’. I want a world a little better and a lot less male-centered than the one we live in.

My women’s day wasn’t happy. I didn’t call my mother and I won’t.

To all women out there: get angry. And if you already are angry - stay angry.

[therealdragonnerdagain]

To be honest, I wish they had done this for Inquisition. Just no fucking dlc greed and everything packaged in the base game, no in-game ads. Like the good ol' days.

To be honest, I believe the only reason they're taking this stance is that EA finally realized being greedy was pushing people away. A lot of people -- myself included -- have walked away from Bioware and are no longer buying their games (Inquisition was the last straw for me). The dlc greed is just a small part of the reason, though, Bioware. There’s also your misogyny, your racism, and your open support of violent transgender activists. 

The ending epilogue was a stupid cliffhanger that forced us to metagame about Solas being the Dreadwolf, and Trespasser should have been a part of the vanilla game. I mean, shouldn't the end of the fucking story be a part of the vanilla game??? Without it, too many characters had broken story arcs.

Cutting Trespasser into dlc was like . . . if Bioware decided to cut the Anders reveal at the end of Dragon Age 2 out of the game, then forced us to buy dlc in order to finish the mage/templar war in Kirkwall.

But there were a lot of things wrong with Inquisition -- such as sensitive princess David Gaider using Varric to insult fans for making valid criticisms about his shitty streamlined mess of a sequel.

Gaider is so misogynistic, too. I swear he revealed Varric's girlfriend just to give female Varric fans the middle finger. I'm not even a Varric "fan girl" and I can see it.

As evidenced by Cassandra and Aveline's implementation, Gaider thinks feminism is women in armor with pink hearts and square jaws. Making women equal means making women like men! Morrigan is the grand exception, but of course, she's presented as an utter bitch, as mostly all of the feminine women in Dragon Age are. Feminine is somehow "evil" in this world, a typically misogynistic view that is actually quite prevalent among gay men.

And then there's the way Dorian's every banter with Cassandra has him objectifying her and dressing her up like a doll in pretty scarves -- because that's exactly how gay men see women, as pretty dolls they can imitate and dress up and not as PEOPLE.

It's nice to see Bioware trying to learn from their past mistakes (I still don't trust them, though) but it would be nice if they would stop changing the lore in every game to shove "gender identity" down our throats.

The asari are women. WOMEN. Monogendered means ONE GENDER not no gender.

What is a woman? A human being with tits and a pussy. That is a woman.

Gender is not an identity. You are mentally ill and/or a misogynist who thinks a bunch of sexist stereotypes (dresses and makeup and high heels) and not physical attributes are what makes a woman. You can't even use the "what about women who don't have tits?" argument because those women are still born with female chromosomes.

White men in dresses are trying to redefine womanhood, are openly attacking women for talking about periods and female bodily functions, and are applauded for attacking queer women as "transphobic" for not liking dick.

Transgenderism is nothing but straight up misogyny in disguise, so it's not surprising that gay man David Gaider -- whose video games have always hated women -- would jump onboard alongside his equally misogynistic straight male friends at Bioware to spout this nonsense.

Yeah, I'll say it if no one else will.I do not fear the dark shithole of faux social justice madness that is tumblr. I’ve been attacked by you all before, and quite honestly, it’s just bouncing off at this point.

I liked Krim but the character was implemented badly, aggressively attacking the Inquisitor for being clueless and changing the qunari lore just to fit in the story.

I am honestly sick of this shit.

You could say to me, "Well, being gay is a mental illness too."

Well, even if it was, at least I'm not going around attacking women for talking about their bodies, silencing them, redefining their language, and telling them they're horrible people for not liking dick, which is literally the definition of being a lesbian.

My "mental illness" is not routinely used to attack other people. As a woman who likes women, I just want the freedom to love who I will and not be bothered or socially, economically oppressed about it. I am not out redefining manhood or telling men they have to like dick or else they're homophobic or something. I am not wearing bloody t-shirts and talking about beating up men for not including me, a woman, in their safe spaces.  

And just in case people are about to say it . . . no. This isn’t the same as lesbians not liking bisexuals. That is biphobia. Lesbians are sexually, romantically attracted to other women -- not just other lesbians -- and if they refuse to date bisexuals -- who are women -- on the basis on stereotypes and prejudice formed from a few bad experiences, that make them biphobic. End of. 

They are refusing to date a certain group of women on the basis of hate, even though they are sexually attracted to these women, who fall under the definition of “being attracted to other women.”

There’s a difference between a preference and prejudice. Preferring to date one group over another is wildly different than blowing off the other group entirely. 

This transgender shit has gotten out of hand, and I'm tired.

I don't have anything against transgender people. I don't care if you're a man and you want to wear a dress. Do whatever the hell you want, as long as you aren't hurting me. But please stop telling me you're a woman. Please stop trying to define what it means to be a woman. Stop invading my spaces to lecture me about your mental illness. Please have something to say in video games aside from "Hello, I'm transgender, now let me teach you about it" otherwise you're a token. Please stop bragging about beating up women who don't agree that having a dick makes you a woman (see how insane that sounds?).

You are biologically a man. You're a man. Gender is not an identity. It's a random happenstance at birth. Take some medication and see a therapist. Or don't. Just stop trying to tell me what a woman is.

No, I don't want you in my public restrooms. Why the hell should I? You are biologically a man. That makes you a danger to me. And if you want to argue about that, I've got thousands of years of history regarding all the biological men who raped, assaulted, and murdered women to support my argument. What have you got?

No, I don't want you in my prisons. See above.

No, I don't even want you in my video games at this point. Because all you do is show up to lecture me about your gender dysphoria and how I'm a bad person for not thinking a man with a dick is a woman. At least gay and bi characters these days actually have some backstory.  

Stop lecturing me about women's problems when you were born a man and were socially conditioned to behave like a man -- as is evidenced by all the bullying, violence, and mansplaining you do toward women.

Also, why are you calling yourselves two-spirits? For the love of god, stop appropriating words from cultures you don't even understand. The only "third" gender belongs to intersexual people, who are born with both sets of sexual organs. Everyone else is either a man or a woman. Period. What you imagine as a "gender identity" is just a bunch of a stereotypes you're confusing with gender roles. It just shows how sexist you are that you think being a woman is getting your hair done and polishing your nails.  

Get out of my spaces, get out of my face, get out of my public restrooms, and just get out.

If you're like Bioware and support violent transgender misogynistic activists, then please stop following this blog and kindly do not speak to me.

Do not send me angry private messages because I won't read them.

Fuck off and leave me alone.

/rant done

[potrix-the-queerschlaeger]

Kent and Tater have been together for a couple of months, and things are great. Kent can’t remember ever having been happier, he’s in love, and he knows Tater loves him back. Everything would be perfect, really, if Kent just wasn’t so, well, obvious.

It’s not like Kent is ashamed to be gay–he had that particular crisis in his teens–and he’s extremely happy that he’s out, privately and publicly. But the thing is, Tater is very masculine. One of the guys. A typical jock. He loves sports, and straight vodka, and dark beer, and working with his hands—seriously, at least 70% of their furniture was made by Tater himself—and wearing gym shorts, and listening to heavy metal, and eating meat Kent is pretty sure is actually still raw.

And Kent, he isn’t like that. At all. In fact, Kent’s convinced the only reason he wasn’t outed sooner is because he’s a professional athlete, and people just didn’t want to see what was right in front of them. Because he’s so, so obvious. His instagram is 85% pictures of Kit in various of her outfits, 10% half naked gym selfies, and then some pictures with friends and family. He has regular appointments to get his eyebrows, chest, and pubes waxed, and to get his nails done. Seriously, playing hockey isn’t kind to his fingers. He has a whole skin care routine, a lip balm collection, wears concealer when the bags under his eyes annoy him too much, and loves Britney and fruity drinks that don’t actually taste like alcohol.

Kent knows Tater loves him, but he also doesn’t want to embarrass him by being so fucking obviously gay. So he changes; no more cute cat pics, no grooming or bubble baths when Tater’s around, he starts to drink beer at parties, sticks to darks colours and never wears any of his skinny jeans or other “feminine” clothes when he’s out with Tater, hides his makeup, no more talking with his hands when he’s excited. No PDA or endearments when they’re out, no holding hands, and fist bumps instead of hugs.

It’s a lot of work to always remember, and it’s kind of making Kent miserable to have to act all the time, but it’s worth it if it means he can keep Tater. That Tater’s happy, and doesn’t have to be embarrassed to be seen with Kent.

And it works, too, right up until they’re at some Falconers event, and Kent gets dragged into a conversation with—someone, Kent isn’t actually sure who the guy is. But he keeps going on about his new car, rattling of info or stats or whatever, and Kent just kind of nods along because he doesn’t know shit about cars, but doesn’t want to insult the guy, or accidentally make a scene by being rude.

He even smiles along when the guy claps him on the shoulder, and says, “You know, I was sceptical when people started coming out left and right, because this is hockey. Things like that just don’t have a place here. But you’re an okay guy, you don’t even seem gay, you know?”

Kent just sort of grins, trying not to grimace in response, and murmers a quiet, “Ha, yeah. I guess.” And then nearly jumps out of his skin when an arm curls around his waist, and Tater says, voice cold like Kent’s never heard it before, “You think I’m seem gay?” The guy shifts uncomfortably, and when he doesn’t answer, Tater goes on with, “What if I’m tell you I had dick up my ass last night? What then?”

The guy leaves pretty quickly after that. Kent lets Tater lead him out of the room, to a quiet corner, sure he’s in trouble. Even though he doesn’t know why. And, sure enough, once they’re out of earshot from everyone else, Tater rounds on him, and demands, “What was that? Why you letting that [explicit Russian swear] talk to you like that?”

Before Kent can start explaining, though, Tater’s expression turns even more confused, and he snatches the beer out of Kent’s hand. “Why you drink this? You don’t like this.” He looks Kent up and down, brows farrowing. “What is it you are wearing? Is this new shirt? Why brown? You prefer colours. Kenny, what is going on?”

“I didn’t want to embarrass you!” Kent blurts out, then cringes, and stares down at his shoes. “By being so, you know. Gay.”

Tater doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Then, “But you are gay?!”

Kent tries to explain, holding back tears because how humiliating would it be if he cried over this? He’s surprised when Tater gathers him into a hug, but tucks his face against Tater’s neck anyway, happy to hide, and clutches at Tater’s back.

“Is not things like that that make you gay,” Tater whispers, pressing kisses to the top of Kent’s head. “Being man who likes other men, that is only thing that make you gay. I love you, does not matter to me what you are, what you like. You are my boyfriend, want everyone to know. And I’m like when you sing Britney in the shower.”

That gets a startled laugh out of Kent, and he pulls back, and wipes at his eyes. “I love you, too,” he says, against Tater’s lips when Tater leans down for a kiss. “Fuck, I love you so much. Never wanna take my hands off you.”

Tater beams, and kisses him again. “You don’t have to.”

They head back inside a little while later. Tater gets them Bellinis. They join some of the other people on the dance floor when something slow starts playing, because Tater has two left feet when he’s off the ice, and slow dancing is the only dancing that doesn’t make him trip. And later, when they wait for their Uber, Tater takes Kent’s hand and links their fingers, and Kent rests his head against Tater’s shoulder, happy and content.

[tumblunni]

ALSO TO FIX EXCELLUS

Because tangeants again lol

Recognise that its fuckin stupid and bigoted to expect us to believe someone is a villain INSTANTLY after seeing that they're queer, before they even do anything. Don't spend your entire damn game having the characters go "eww its that disgusting person of ambiguous gender we should kill them because gross" rather than.. Yknow.. "Excellus fuckin murdered those people". Recognise that literally doing this is gonna make your character LESS villainous and MORE sympathetic long before you finally get to goddamn showing them do anything bad except say "ohoho i wanna be a princess". And it'll make bunni REALLY PISSED OFF because nobody wants to feel sad for an asshole murderer yet THAT SADNESS IS FOREVER ENGRAINED IN MY SOUL NOW

Seriously fuckin hell it even made the heroes look less heroic! I felt like Excellus was almost justified in becoming a murdering selfish monster if she spent her entire life being treated that way by both sides in this big good or evil conflict. Why the fuck should she give a shit if she's being degraded? Like FUCKIN OBVIOUSLY murdering people and wanting to conquer a random japanese country as a mad dictator is not a remotely logical reaction to being misgendered. But like they could have changed some stuff and made a perfectly good sympathetic villain who gets manipulated by the bigger bad because of her sad past of being treated like shit and like she feels like this is her only option to be herself. And then maybe you can reignite her hope in the world and her self esteem and moral centre and help her redeem herself and team up with you to take out the real horrible fucks with no sympathetic motives. Instead she's friggin played as THE one who's evil cos she has no sympathetic motive. Like that's her whole Thing, she's supposed to just be selfish and greedy and horrid. Your damn bigotry somehow failed your own story as well as failing all trans people ever!

Or like yknow.. If you want an asshole fuckboi then actually write an asshole fuckboi. Scrubby scrub the trans = bad shit from this plotline and you do indeed have a selfish monster who murders a bunch of innocent people and gets his just desserts. You had a ready made simple character archetype and you were so preoccupied shoving your transphobic screed into your game that you fucked it up!

So yeah i think either make this goofy ohoho trans auntie a good character, make the asshole ohoho bad character a cis man, do both at once, or like even i'm not opposed to having a trans villain exist but like seriously make them a synpathetic villain. If they're the only trans character in the plot its already gonna send a bad message if theyre in the role of "worst most underhanded jerk villain", even if it WASNT also transphobic as fuck. So a sympathic trans villain or adding more LGBT characters so it doesnt seem like this one individual was designed to make a statement on your entire feelings for a minority.

ALSO

like seriously please do not do this stupid thing of mooshing every stereotype together from every LGBT identity and acting like theyre all the same thing?? Like man i fuckin HATE that anime trope that yknow.. The gay man says all this trans stuff cos he's ~just that flambouyant~ Like being a drag queen is what 100% of gay men are, 24/7, and anyone saying theyre a trans woman is just one of those drag queens who's really getting into character. Or just.. I dunno. I cant even wrap my head around what train of logic must have led to that stereotype in the first place! And its so fuckin annoying as a queer person trying to talk about why this is bad queer stereotyping, it just makes me extra sad to straight up not know what pronouns to use for the character so i feel like i'm being just as horrible to them as their creators were. Like man i've only settled on going for "she" for Excellus cos after years of looking into it it does seem like the original japanese was indeed specifically using stereotypes of trans women and not trans men or nonbinary people. Though all languages do seem to call the character male it seems pretty strongly to be a "i believe that trans women are men and can never be women" kind of thing, rathe rthan the character herself calling HERSELF male. She calls herself a woman in both english and japanese, and its just that the english has everyone else use male pronouns for her and added the non-canon "explanation" that she only acts like a trans woman because she has something wrong with her balls. (Ugh!) And in japanese on top of calling herself a woman she also uses feminine (and specifically trans/drag queen coded) variants of "I", and other common speech pattern traits used for negative stereotypes of trans women. Though again we do have other characters calling her a disgusting perverted man instead. Sigh!

Ok ok ALSO BIGGEST FUCKIN FIX! dont draw the character like a horrible distorted cariacature goblin in an entirely different art style to everyone else. Seriously its so annoying how they tried to make you agree with "excellus is disgusting just for acting queer" by LITERALLY DRAWING A DISGUSTING CHARACTER. If you take away the weirdass overdetailed horror movie monster face, there is nothing ugly or even "manly looking" about her! She's just like somebody's perfectly normal chubby aunt or something. You could go out in any street all over the world and see five of her! I hate it cos its almost like psychological manipulation or something? Like i've seen so many lets players who arent bigoted but merely oblivious still agree that excellus is ugly and disgusting and comical because of it, cos all the implications of transphobia/homophobia flew over their heads and all they saw was a character drawn to look monsterous. And just.. This is so common. Its the overwhelming japanese stereotype of trans women. Draw them looking INFINATELY MORE MANLY than the cis male characters. So manly that it really hammers home how "obvious" it is that a man in lipstick or dresses "just looks wrong" and of course there's NO way they could ever pass and ha ha look how deluded they are that they think they look pretty. It's horrid. It really is. Seriously I like to point at Tabitha from Pokemon ORAS for a good counter example, cos he's also an ambiguously transgender character from a game that came out around the same time and by some weird coincidence they look very similar. Except for the literal entire face. The literal entire exact same face, just its drawn hideous and distorted on the one who's supposed to be a negative trans stereotype, and drawn exactly like everyone else on the positive one. And there's not one example in the whole game of anyone calling Tabitha ugly because he looks trans, or even insulting his weight or anything. Same damn character design, just drawn without bias and treated like a human being. I mean seriously right down to them having the small "evil eyes" but with Tabitha he's always drawn with them in a perpetual sort of happy face and then his pose with them looking similar to Excellus is supposed to be a BADASS MOMENT of this comic relief villain showing his worth! And hw literally has red eyes on top of it! His design is even MORE "evil" yet just not drawing it as a stereotype entirely changes the player's perception and he became beloved by many. Whereas with Excellus even the trans people in the audience couldnt relate to her and just felt fuckin sad.

Oh also i guess Excellus is implied to be a trans woman and Tabitha is implied to be a trans man? But i don't think game freak was trying to say anything about trans men being more valid or whatever, cos the first canonical LGBT character of any sort was a trans woman npc in the battle maison. And tabitha being trans isnt really confirmed as clearly as she was. i hope someday theyre able to confirm an LGBT main cast member but until then i will forever hold onto the glimmer of hope that was given to me by Beauty Nova.

Also seriously Tabitha and Excellus both also look EXACTLY LIKE ME IN REAL LIFE so I kinda took Excellus extra hard and latched onto the Tabitha headcanon so much more because it was good healing after all that nonsense. Tho I also did considee nonbinary Tabitha at the time, because his japanese name is a gender neutral one that's merely like 75% female, rather than a 100% feminine one. But then his old RSE design was very masculine so i think maybe a trans man is what they were trying to imply if they did indeed do it on purpose. Anyway i probably would have translated his name as Ashley cos it has the same "technically neutral but more popular with girls" aesthetic while also keeping the same fire pun as Homura. I have no idea how on earth Tabitha is supposed to be a joke, honestly. Tho i meam maybe he's just the one type specialist on the entire poke-earth who doesnt have a joke name?

ANYWAY thank you terrible transphobic stupid manga i read today for reminding me that i love Tabitha. And also the developers love Tabitha. And also all the characters in universe love him, like seriously the only difference between the devon dialogue of him and Shelly is that they mention the other scientists nicknamed him tabitabi. And its so cute how seriously they said it too?? Its like "our boss tabitabi,the most feared and respected genius man".

Lovv dat tabb

[gilberthampton]

OC memes from vent

im in class idc 🎆 40 too specific 🎆 fictionkin questions created by @.nyasori 🌙 Your kin of choice: 🔥nia rosewell 🔥 Turned OC meme and im sorry 🌙 1. If you could punch one person from your canon in the face right now, who would it be? JAHHJSJND her older brother 🌙 2. Do you like your hairstyle from your canon or would you rather have a different one? permanently unsatisfied w her hair but never changes it till post cain drama and then she goes full out, gets a magical girl bun cut, dyes her hair pink n loves it. basically an Important Haircut bc she's done being stuck in the past 🌙 3. If you had to prepare a lunchbox for your kintype, what would be in it? Lunchbox - homemade but somehow perfect anyway, everything is in it, packed till it's full, lots of sweets and snacks 🌙 4. If your kintype would be an animal, which one would they be? hummingbird. or wait, a bunny 🌙 5. Your kintype suddenly rules a kingdom. What is the first thing they would do? she's dreamed about being a princess but has no idea how to actually run a kingdom so.. enjoy the good life, proceed to freak out when pressured to make heavy choices 🌙 6. Who's your kintype's best friend? Why? alice n mina n nia r Squad 🌙 7. What's your least favourite ship involving your kintype? Why? the person she hates the most is.. odin 🌙 8. What was the very first memory you've gotten from your canon? 🌙 9. What do people think of the media you're from? Is it popular or obscure? 🌙 10. What was your kintypes relationship with their parents/guardians? she loves them dearly but probably subconsciously pushes all the blame on them bc they didn't do a very good job stopping odin from hitting her when she was younger 🌙 11. What would your kintypes Myers-Briggs personality type be? INFP 🌙 12. Someone insults your kintype badly. How do they react? she criesssssssss and cries and gets all self conscious and her instinct is to go to other people so they can pity her and make her feel better. gets all shy around the person afterwards. if she thinks about it too long she starts crying again 🌙 13. If/When they were in school, how good were they? Would they be a nerdy outsider, a social butterfly or something different? a friendly but fragile classmate. that one girl who always wears frilly dresses. probably cries at least once a day, easily excited but just as easily upset, mediocre with grades. 🌙 14. If your kintype was in a classic RPG, what would their class be? ranger / long distance 🌙 15. What is the most obscure or funny memory you have as them? 🌙 16. You suddenly switch roles with your kintype. How well would they handle your life? she'd miss her friends but she's kind of easy to get along with! so like, normal. probably would not like my parents at all 🌙 17. If someone tried to hit on your kintype, what would they have to say to make their heart melt? just compliment her -- anything 🌙 18. Does your kintype have any strange hidden talent that wasn't mentioned officially? she's double jointed ? 🌙 19. How would your kintype react to someone confessing their love to them? blushy, nervous, flattered, so happy she could cry, 100% ready to kiss even if she doesn't reciprocate. If she likes someone else, though, she'll inevitably turn u down. (Looking for that perfect manga romance) 🌙 20. If you could ask the creator of your canon's media one question, which would it be? get a life? 🌙 21. What is the most obscure ship you've ever seen your kintype in? 🌙 22. What is your kintype's zodiac sign? Does it fit? ill figure out their birthdays sometime, okay 🌙 23. If they had an elemental alignment (fire, air, water, earth), which one would it be? water 🌙 24. Your kintype and their best friend get stranded on a lonely island. What would they do? FREAK OUT and probably be a useless baby bc her friends r too nice to tell her to stop whining 🌙 25. Has your kintype experienced any trauma? If yes, did it affect their personality? in her childhood. odin didn't really understand other people's point of view, and he would grow harsher and harsher with his younger sister bc he couldn't fathom _why_ she would be so upset about things, and he would get furious. oh yeah. has a lot of unresolved anxiety and memory issues, scared to death of her brother, whatever 🌙 26. Do you share any physical traits with your kintype? ugh... Nah? 🌙 27. Who's your kintypes biggest enemy? Why? 🌙 28. Does your kintype do any morally questionable things? How do they justify it? she gets too caught up in things and gets kind of stalkery-ish, guilt trippy and passive aggressive without realizing it. her defense is that she doesn't do it on purpose, which is true, but it doesn't excuse her from it. 🌙 29. If your kintype was at a party, what would they do? start messing around with her friends. or shyly look around for her crush the whole night. if she doesn't know anyone, she's mostly in the bg, but being around people she's comfortable with influences her into a louder state 🌙 30. What is the favourite season of your kintype? spring 🌙 31. What does the name of your kintype mean? Where is it from? "Nia is a feminine given name with multiple origins. It is a Welsh variant of Niamh, an Irishname meaning 'bright.' It is also a Swahili Name meaning 'will.'" Basically i just chose it from a list bc it sounds nice. though it _is_ her nickname? 🌙 32. What did your kintype do if they were sad, exhausted or angry? 🌙 33. If your kintype would have a pokemon type, which one(s) would it be? grass fairy 🌙 34. Were they in a romantic relationship with someone? What did other people think of it? she was crushing hard on cain and (unnamed) for the longest time, but cain fucked her up pretty badly. gets a crush on milo and they start dating after a VERY LONG TIME. their friends find it cute and they're like, took u long enough!!! outsiders find it weird bc they're so different in personality?? 🌙 35. How quick were they able to form bonds? Why? probably really quickly bc she's friendly and chipper and ^____^ 24/7, but i feel like she also gets on people's nerves. so True friendships, eh, casual school friendships, lots 🌙 36. Does the fandom ever misinterpret your kintypes? 🌙 37. Do your canon and the official canon match up? If not, what are the differences? 🌙 38. Did your kintype ever feel guilty about something they did? Why? i think she blabs too much and is too loud and not considerate enough of other people -- which can irritate and hurt them. she definitely feels some regret for that 🌙 39. In what ways do you act like or relate to your kintype? we're both sensitive and cries, we love cute shit, uhhhhcffggh i don't know i put a little bit of me into every oc 🌙 40. Finally - tell us a fun fact about your kintype that not many people know! she's obsessed w anime shit Tagging: YOU i think i did this meme for Alice already ┌··┤ oc survey ├··┐ ┗• made by @jem •┛ do not _edit_ or _remove_ the credit please ! fill out this survey for your original characters using this symbol ( ● ) to indicate what applies and specify if you wish ! http://name : mina discofever http://age : 16 http://birthdate : 2/14/01 http://height : 5'6 http://gender ○ male ● female ○ other: ________ http://sexuality ○ gay ○ lesbian ● bisexual ○ pansexual ○ aromantic/asexual ○ other: _______ THERE'S NO HET OPTION DNDNNFNDNF http://hairstyle ○ short ○ pixie ○ bob ○ shoulder-length ○ elbow-length ● hip length or + ○ other : _______ http://hair http://texture ● straight ● wavy ○ curled ○ very curled ○ other: _______ http://eye http://colour ○ brown ○ hazel ○ blue ○ green ○ gray ● other : pink http://body http://type ○ muscular ○ toned ● average ○ scrawny ● curvy ○ overweight ○ other : _______ http://skin http://tone ○ pale ● fair ○ golden ○ tan ○ dark ○ other : _______ http://markings ● scars ○ tattoos ○ piercings ○ beauty marks ○ other : _______ http://posture ● upright ○ neutral ○ slouched http://face http://shape ○ round ○ oval ● heart ○ square ○ long ○ other : _______ http://direct http://family ● mother(s) ● father(s) ● brother(s) ○ sister(s) ○ son(s) ○ daughter(s) ○ other : _______ http://strong http://point ○ brute force ○ agility ● stamina ○ intelligence ● wisdom ● charm http://weak http://point ○ brute force ● agility ○ stamina ● intelligence like she's not DUMB she's just bad at school ○ wisdom ○ charm http://perceptiveness ○ oblivious ○ dull ○ average ● sharp ○ mind-reader http://speech ○ vulgar ● basic ● average ○ polite ○ educated ○ pretentious ○ other : _______ http://education http://level ○ less than high school ● high school ○ college ○ masters ○ PhD ○ other : _______ http://moral http://code ○ self-interest ● universal law ○ religious ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://environment ● big city ○ small town ○ suburbs ○ arid desert ● woods or rainforest ● mountains ● open fields ● beach ○ the confines of hell ○ other : _______ http://residence ○ dorms ○ city house ● suburban house ○ mansion or manor ○ trailer ○ farmhouse ○ other : _______ http://housemates ● family member(s) ● friend(s) ○ landlord/lady ○ none ○ other : _______ http://mode http://of http://transport ● public transport ○ taxi ● motorcycle or scooter ○ car ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://drink ○ water ○ alcohol ● natural juice ○ coffee or tea ○ carbonated drinks ○ other : _______ http://preferred http://food ● sweets ○ meats ● fruits ○ vegetables ○ carbohydrates ○ other : _______ http://social http://class ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ low middle high http://affection http://for http://others ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ low middle high http://social http://interaction ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ low middle high http://favourite http://genre ○ comedy ● romance ● thriller or horror ● mystery ○ science fiction or fantasy ○ contemporary ○ historical ○ literary ● action or adventure ○ drama or tragedy ○ other : _______ http://criminal http://record ● underage drinking ○ drunk driving ○ assault or arson ○ manslaughter ○ murder or attempted murder OKAY SHE'S NOT A MURDERER BUT TOTALLY IN ANOTHER AU ○ protest or activism ○ false accusations ○ _nothing they can prove_ ○ other : _______ http://learning http://style ○ nature ○ music ○ numbers ○ people ○ self ○ picture ○ language ○ body i don't know what this means http://deadly http://sin ○ pride ○ wrath ○ gluttony ○ greed ● envy ○ sloth ○ lust http://heavenly http://virtue ○ humility ○ patience ○ temperance ○ charity ● kindness ○ diligence ○ chastity http://self http://discipline ○ what is that ○ no ○ when it suits them ● decent ○ intense http://creativity ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ ○ low high Will's more of a thinker so she leaves it to him http://cleanliness ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ ○ low middle high http://usual http://outfit ○ formal ● casual ○ lazy ● sporty ○ other : _______ http://likeability ○ non-existent ○ when they attempt ○ pretty okay ● cool person(tm) ○ god-like http://luck ○ ○ ○ ○ ● ○ ○ low middle high http://common http://fears ○ spiders or insects ○ wild animals ○ darkness ● death ● ridicule ● abandonment ○ other : how enjoyable was this survey ? ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ● bad good 🐌🐌🐌 ┏ ┓ ♚ another kin meme ♚ ↳ created by @.mut4nt don't remove credit ┗ ┛ tagged by: MYSELF ♞ if you don't want to or can't answer a question, skip it and please don't delete it! ♞ ┏ ┓ ♚ about your kin/id ♚ ┗ ┛ • kin/id of choice • ↳ milo zersuit. his last name is just so bad and i tried to make a samus reference but it's just so bad • canon of said kin/id • ↳ merrverse • gender + sexuality of said kin/id • ↳ I... THEY'RE ALL STRAGIHTH HORRIBLE BOYS • age of said kin/id • ↳ 16 • emoji used to define said kin/id • ↳ 🎹 • emojis that remind you of them • ↳ 😴💤🥀🌿🌌🌃⚓⌚🌒🌚☔🎑🏒⚙️ • favorite canonmate(s) • ↳ he hates everyone but nia. probably is somewhat amused by prince • favorite places in your canon • ↳ • your kin/id's aesthetic • ↳ blue, blinding lights that seem so bright as night swirls around you; the breath of a sunset and the melancholy that follows with it; glow aesthetic street signs; gas stations at 2 am; unopened cigarettes and broken promises and the cold hand of someone you once loved in yours in the dead of winter; winter but no snow; winter but no glory... • songs that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ do i wanna know - artic monkeys • colors that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ all shades of blue, a never pure white • favorite item(s) from your canon • ↳ he cherishes his hoodies • favorite memory • ↳ • have you met any canonmates? • ↳ • do you want to meet canonmates? • ↳ ┏ ┓ ♚ this / that ♚ ┗ ┛ • coke or pepsi • ↳ coke • dog person or cat person • ↳ cat • pop music or rock music • ↳ neither, but probably rock • morning or evening person • ↳ evening • sweet or savory • ↳ savory • stay at home or always on the go • ↳ stay at home man.. • introvert or extrovert • ↳ introvert • wine or beer • ↳ he doesn't drink, but would probably like wine • super strength or super speed • ↳ s.....peed • always bored or always tired • ↳ oh my god both. mostly tired • chocolate or lollipops • ↳ chocolate • pulp or no pulp • ↳ he is a straight up pulp hater • video games or board games • ↳ vidya games • sneakers or flip flops • ↳ sneakers • snapbacks or baseball caps • ↳ ugh, I dunno • black or white • ↳ white • mountains or beaches • ↳ mountains • pasta or rice • ↳ rice • sports cars or trucks • ↳ he doesn't really care for cars but probably sports? • piano or guitar • ↳ PIANO , that's like his only talent • hot weather or cold weather • ↳ cold • laid back or strict • ↳ laid back strictness • melee weapons or long distance • ↳ long distance • gemstones or metal • ↳ gemstones • sarcastic or sincere • ↳ sarcastic • galaxies or planets • ↳ planets • easily excited or easily tired • ↳ HE HAS DEPRESSION ♚ tagging ♚ ↳ youuu "merr for the last time stop doing more kin memes and changing them to oc memes" y'all mind if i just ┏ ┓ ♚ another kin meme ♚ ↳ created by @.mut4nt don't remove credit ┗ ┛ tagged by: i stole this from dave ♞ if you don't want to or can't answer a question, skip it and please don't delete it! ♞ ┏ ┓ ♚ about your kin/id ♚ ┗ ┛ • kin/id of choice • ↳ colton scott but im definitely changing his name so it's alliterative. ive been reading a lot of scott pilgrim • canon of said kin/id • ↳ uhhh.. merrverse • gender + sexuality of said kin/id • ↳ he's cis. and has never been really knowledgeable to consider *gasp* dating another guy?!!!!?? • age of said kin/id • ↳ i tend to set them all around 16 • emoji used to define said kin/id • ↳ 🎸 as it is this guitar kind of annoys me but shdbdbd • emojis that remind you of them • ↳ ✌️💫👔🌻🌆✨🎖️⚽🎮🎸🎹🎧🖱️💿 i hate him • favorite canonmate(s) • ↳ HE LOVES HIS GF VERY MUCH OBVS...colton has a different social group outside of the main cast but he likes most of them, sure. • favorite places in your canon • ↳ probably his garage/room • your kin/id's aesthetic• - it's really really indie rock... half assed music; the obvious plucking of a guitar, and less than perfect perfectness; a bunch of lyrics on aesthetic images; bruised limbs, knuckles; contemplating your life past the normal extent a teenager should go • songs that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ ......indie rock bands THAT ONE SONG by the artic monkeys, the strokes, front bottoms • colors that remind you of your kin/id • ↳ a darker yellow-y green • favorite item(s) from your canon • ↳ 🎸🎧🎮 • favorite memory • ↳ AJAHAJS I DON'T KNOW • have you met any canonmates? • ↳ • do you want to meet canonmates? • ↳ ┏ ┓ ♚ this / that ♚ ┗ ┛ • coke or pepsi • ↳ i feel coke but he likes sweet things so...Hmm • dog person or cat person • ↳ DOG • pop music or rock music • ↳ rock ajsjjs • morning or evening • ↳ evening • sweet or savory • ↳ sweet • stay at home or always on the go • ↳ he's sociable and friendly but i feel like he'd spend a lot of time by himself • introvert or extrovert • ↳ introverted extrovert