#i feel like that's within the realm of possibility. like it might not be common but if you go too hard you experience consequences

[fireheartedpup]

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know? (ask game)

I think most of the things I've learned from the internet would seem strange to people. Like the fact that the US ran a misinformation campaign about the effectiveness of masks, or the fact that some ethnicities are just lactose intolerant.

I don't know if the guy who went to the hospital because he sucked dick too hard was telling the truth, but I used it to divert the conversation with a group of strangers at a bar one time and at least one person didn't believe it was real

[lunarlianna]

Planets in the 8th house

I know a lot of you may don’t really like this house but trust me it’s more lovely than it seems and as with any other house it has it’s ups and downs. Now let’s understand what it’s up with this house, first it’s where Scorpio and Pluto rules, also as a side note Mars feels pretty comfortable here as well, in traditional astrology Mars was the ruler of Scorpio. It dives deep into subjects such as intimacy, sex, secrets, fears, death, rebirth, shared money and possession. It’s the house of transformation and occult, deep psychology inside as well. It’s also a pretty karmic house. Here is how each planet behaves in the house.

The Sun: an individual with the Sun in the 8th house seeks deep, intimate relationships but may face challenges as they tend to give excessively. They might experience ups and downs due to others' casual approach to relationships. Healing often involves addressing a father's emotional impact and seeking fulfilment through connections. The path to growth lies in balancing self-reliance with meaningful, committed partnerships, allowing for personal shine and transformation through shared resources. A curiosity for mysticism and the occult converges with a aspiration for financial stability, potentially influenced by inheritance.

The Moon: drives a deep desire for security, sometimes leading to seeking it through others' resources. This can evoke self-doubt, possessiveness, and psychic sensitivity. Transformative partnerships or marriages might bring financial gain. They approach relationships seriously, often overextending, leading to turmoil; finding balance through self-sufficiency brings happiness. Sensitive to unspoken nuances, they find peace by releasing expectations, channelling probing curiosity into worldly understanding, seeking connection through intimate relationships and a quest for broader meaning. Gains or inheritances linked to women are common, yet a sense of connection remains elusive.

Mercury: in the 8th House gifts you with analytical powers, suited for research, detective work, and understanding complex matters like taxes or insurance. Your inquisitive nature drives you to unravel the depths of life's mysteries, though this may lead to concerns over finances and a tendency to gossip. Your mind dwells on profound subjects like death, healing, and psychic phenomena. Mercury's presence here offers a valuable perspective, helping you discuss and process intense emotions, easing the pain associated with this house. It enhances rational clarity within the realm of misunderstood emotions, serving as a valve for emotional release and facilitating conscious understanding.

Venus: in the 8th House grants you access to material comforts and potential prosperity, often through a partner's contributions or inheritance. While you enjoy sensual pleasures, be mindful of avoiding overindulgence or laziness. Your attraction to healing, metaphysical pursuits, and magic might thrive. This placement bestows a harmonious touch to intimate connections, making give-and-take feel natural, appreciating the sensual without burdening the relationship. Challenges, such as losses and responsibilities, are handled with understanding, adding a sense of kindness to your relationships.

Mars: in the 8th House fuels your drive for research, uncovering secrets, and intense pursuits, but challenges arise as desires clash with the give-and-take nature of relationships. Financial issues, possibly through a partner, highlight the need to diminish money's importance. Struggles may emerge in sharing resources and emotions within partnerships, causing emotional outbursts. Learning to channel Mars' willpower constructively, alongside exploring healing or surgery interests, can lead to personal growth despite these challenges. Understanding and managing the intensity of your desires and their impact on relationships becomes key.

Jupiter: in the 8th House blesses you with optimism and faith in humanity. Financial gains through partnerships, marriage, or inheritance are possible. Your strong emotional depth can be harnessed for psychic abilities, enabling you to bring upliftment and healing to others. Jupiter's presence in this house facilitates an effortless give-and-take dynamic, aided by your universal outlook, allowing you to avoid getting entangled in overly emotional relationship issues. Your emphasis on genuine, giving connections attracts reciprocal generosity.

Saturn: in the 8th House endows you with diligent work ethic and patience, yet your pursuit of financial security might lead to self-imposed social and sexual restrictions. Transform this drive into soul growth via wisdom gained through partnership relationships. Issues around abuse, power, and past hurts may arise. Challenges involving inheritances, shared finances, and intimacy emerge due to Saturn's hesitance to let go. This position can make relationships tough, leading to commitment issues. Overcoming Saturn's grip fosters eventual happiness and harmony, teaching valuable lessons of release and trust.

Uranus: with this placement, your intuition and psychic senses are heightened, drawing you to the mysteries of life and the occult. Nervous tension may arise, and unexpected gains or losses in shared resources are possible. Balancing your need for freedom with emotional connection is key, as Uranus' resistance to commitment can challenge relationships. Remember to stay open to intimacy while navigating life's uncertainties.

Neptune: in the 8th House enhances your intuition and empathy, but it's important to set clear boundaries to avoid relationship challenges. Embrace healing and afterlife interests while ensuring honesty in financial matters. Remember to balance selflessness with self-care, fostering healthier and more fulfilling connections. Your compassionate nature is a strength in navigating these dynamics.

Pluto: In the 8th House, your intuition and business sense thrive, drawing you to metaphysical realms. While inheritance and clairvoyant potential shine, be cautious of financial complexities in partnerships. Transformative experiences spark a fascination with life's mysteries. Pluto's influence urges open communication to ease power struggles, offering healing through release and growth. Embrace vulnerability for stronger, more compassionate relationships.

COPYRIGHT ‼️

Do not copy my posts or you will be sued for copyright infringement. All it takes is copying me a few times and it is considered illegal due to the copyright claim written at the bottom of my posts

Do not rewrite/copy my observations and post them to your Tiktok, Tumblr, Instagram

[monratarot]

Love in the first half or March 2024💌

Pick a card reading💖

Hello everyone! March is here so I guess that everyone is curios how this month will be for them. This is a simple and a short guidance reading in love for the first half of the month.

Pick the pile that you are most drawn to and scroll down to read about your love situation in the first half of March.

Takes what resonate with you because remember that this is just a general reading and it might not apply for everyone.

Don't forget to like/reblog/comment and follow me! I would really appreciate it because it will help my blog grow!

So let's get started! Enjoy!💟

Moni🧚🏻‍♀️

🌛🔮🌜Pile 1 🌛🔮🌜Pile 2 🌛🔮🌜Pile 3

🔮✨🃏⚖️🎯🍀💫🌠💘💕💖🔮✨🃏⚖️🎯🍀💫🌠💘💕💖

Pile 1🧸❤️🧸❤️♥‿♥

🎀temptation and seduction - being swept off your feet

🎀 being blinded by emotions or desires - need to be cautious and use discernment

🎀 being caught up in fantasy or unrealistic expectations

🎀being influenced by illusions or false promises - easily swayed or manipulated

🎀being at a crossroads and needing to make a difficult decision

🎀 being vulnerable to deception or betrayal

🎀 need to trust your instincts and intuition

🎀need to take a step back and reassess the situation

🎀need to be honest with yourself and others

🎀patience, hard work, and dedication will pay off in the end

🎀possibility of starting a family or expanding your current one

🎀 being practical and grounded in your approach to relationships and finances will lead to success

🎀overall, a time of happiness, abundance, and prosperity in all aspects of your life.

🎀time for pampering yourself, creating a beautiful environment

🎀celebrating life, enjoying the finer things

🎀showering loved ones with affection

🎀 embracing the beauty in life, finding joy in the little things

🎀 communication is key in your relationships, make sure to express your needs and listen to the needs of others

🎀you may feel overwhelmed at times, but remember to stay focused and keep pushing forward

🎀consider seeking advice or guidance from a mentor or trusted friend to help you navigate challenges

🎀self-care is important during this time, make sure to take breaks and recharge when needed

🎀overall, stay committed to your goals and have faith that things will work out in the end.

⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆ You can deal with:

🌸musician

🌸fashion designer

🌸photographer

🌸creative directors

🌸graphic designers

🌸 make-up artists

🌸hair stylists

🌸 choreographers

🌸event planners

🤍ʚ🧸ɞ☁️🤍ʚ🧸ɞ☁️🤍ʚ🧸ɞ☁️🤍ʚ🧸ɞ☁️🤍ʚ🧸ɞ☁️🤍ʚ🧸ɞ☁️

Pile 2°˖➴➵⋆｡° 🏹 ✩💌

🌹 being receptive to guidance from a higher power or spiritual realm

🌹trusting in divine timing and surrendering to the flow of life

🌹emotional healing and introspection

🌹 tapping into your intuition for creative inspiration

🌹maintaining a sense of mystery and allure in relationships

🌹seeking solitude and introspection to gain clarity on a situation

🌹connecting with the divine feminine/masculine energy within yourself

🌹finding balance between your inner world and outer reality

🌹 embracing the unknown and allowing yourself to be guided by intuition and instinct

🌹appreciating the simple pleasures in life, focusing on what truly matters in life

🌹 building a strong foundation for your future, planning for the long term

🌹 being cautious with your resources, being prudent with your investments

🌹working together as a family to achieve common goals

🌹 celebrating the achievements and successes of your family

🌹being there for each other in times of need

🌹 creating a sense of security and stability for your family

🌹cherishing the memories and traditions of your family

🌹ego-driven conflicts, arguments and conflicts

🌹 jealousy and possessiveness

🌹competitive behavior in relationships

🌹 possible power struggles in relationships or at work; be aware of manipulation or control issues

🌹need to assert yourself and stand up for what you believe in

🌹 keep calm and stay focused on your goals, despite challenges and conflicts

🌹 communication breakdowns may occur, so be clear and concise in your interactions

🌹 work on finding common ground with others rather than focusing on differences

🌹 seek compromise and understanding in difficult situations

🌹overall, stay true to yourself and maintain your integrity, even in the face of adversity.

⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆ You can deal with:

🌸archaeologists

🌸architects

🌸landscape designers

🌸 psychologists

🌸estate agents

🌸child protection officers

🌸home decorators

🌸 art collectors

🌸 surgeon

🌸wedding planner

୧⍤⃝💐🎀💌��࿔*:･‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.୧⍤⃝💐🎀💌💓.ೃ࿔*:･‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Pile 3𓍢ִ໋🌷֒✧ ༘ ⋆｡♡

🍓self-destructive behaviors and unhealthy relationships

🍓 disharmony and imbalance in relationships

🍓 being trapped in a cycle of negative patterns

🍓need to break free from toxic influences and embrace positive change

🍓re-evaluate your relationships and make healthy choices

🍓seek balance and harmony within yourself before seeking it in relationships

🍓being drawn towards unhealthy habits or relationships

🍓being consumed by negative emotions and behaviors

🍓the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing your own well-being

the necessity of letting go of toxic relationships or situations in order to find true happiness and fulfillment

🍓future - moving on, accepting what cannot be changed, finding peace and healing

🍓 potential for renewal and growth if you can find the strength to move forward and seek out new opportunities and experiences. It encourages you to focus on what you still have rather than what you have lost, and to seek support from others to help you through difficult times.

🍓stepping out of your comfort zone in the name of love ,taking risks for the sake of romance

🍓 feeling alive and invigorated by the excitement of love

🍓embracing the uncertainty of new relationships

🍓being swept off your feet by a whirlwind romance

🍓 allowing yourself to be vulnerable and open to love

🍓 seeing the beauty in every moment spent with your partner

🍓 choosing to follow your heart instead of your head

🍓 committing to a future filled with love and adventure

🍓creating new memories and experiences with someone special

🍓feeling a deep connection and understanding with your partner §

🍓embracing the magic and wonder of love

🍓don't be afraid to open up and share your emotions with your partner or potential love interest, communication is key in any relationship.

🍓explore new hobbies or activities together to create lasting memories.

🍓emotional depth, creativity, and intuition; stay true to your feelings and follow your heart in all aspects of your life; be open to new experiences and relationships, and remain true to your ideals and dreams; trust that love and fulfillment are on the horizon.

⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆ You can deal with:

🌸professional fitness instructor

🌸nutritionist

🌸chef

🌸teacher

🌸photographer

🌸 business owner

🌸event planner

🌸lawyer

🌸journalist

🌸interior designer

🌸landscape gardener

[honeyhotteoks]

Okay I'm 5'7 too so thank you for your detailed description of the members and I'm not surprised but kinda am at the same time about their appearance??

Low-key love seeing all the live content but also feel left out as an Aussie atiny BUT I'm seeing skz in October so I'm excited for that!!

Speaking of their appearance, the members of skz are a lot more muscular in person than how they look.

I was expecting them to be skinny and boney but they all look incredibly strong and fit-even Han and Felix-

Han actually looks slightly more buff and muscly then Felix which surprised me and Lee Know is just as defined and muscular as Changbin which no one talks about.

Anyway- yunho brain rot.

I was listening to the audiobook of haunting Adeline because I finally caved in from the TikTok influence and my friend telling me how sexy the novel is.

Idk if it's because I'm going to therapy or I'm too old but I thought it was over-hyped-

I did love how the author described the themes of fear and stalking because when I did get tense when she'd leave the room, come back and there would be a 🌹 on the counter.

BUT I did get delulu and I was reading some scenes where zade is just consumed with Adeline and I was gasping 'like omg yunho could be like this' because his natal chart indicates if he was psychotic and unhealed enough- could delve into stalking territory.

And yes okay- this shit is toxic and scary and awful in real life BUT LET ME FANTASISE FOR A SECOND!

What if yunho was that borderline toxic boyfriend that just CANT leave you alone??

Watches you from afar, sends you messages all day-

Somnophilia thought here-

You don't live with yunho but have given him a key and go to bed with no panties on b/c it's a common occurrence he'll drive over in the middle of the night b/c it's been too long since he's felt you under him and he has to ravish you.

You wake up to his tongue on you clit as he moans and breathes your scent in which eventually leads to you making love with him as he virtually suffocates you with his body and words?

You're mine, you're not leaving me, I'm destined to be with you, on top of you, inside you, I can't breathe w/o you.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!

MY FRIEND THE WAY YOU ALWAYS SERVE UP THE GREATEST IMAGERY OF ALL TIME TO RUIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all........ love that you're seeing skz!!! i'm hoping if and when they announce tour dates for north america next year there's a chance for me to see them

as far as your yunho brainrot goes................. IM DIZZY. i love your natal chart content, and i've been so obsessed with the idea of yunho being like perfect boyfriend great guy................but................there's that part of him that just can't help being possessive and having this sense of ownership over his partner.

i was just actually reading a fic for another fandom along the lines of what you're describing and i was like YUNHO YUNHO YUNHO the whole time. i might write my own version but......... brainrot under the cut

so i think there's two yunho possibilities that i love within this like possessive/stalker/dubcon realm, and one is straight up like suuuuuper healthy relationship but they play with CNC in intense ways and do full on like roleplay OR my current favorite brainrot which aligns with your idea and the fic i was just reading which is like...... desperately obsessed desperately in love fully fixated on reader not leaving him because he just has to consume her fully at all times.

he and reader have been dating for a while and he's honestly the 10/10 perfect boyfriend (she thinks) only.... she knows he gets a little funny about certain things. when other guys talk to her he just has to have his hands on her, and when he worries about her he really worries, almost too much. he gets jealous about the funniest little things, and he's always nervous about change, he just doesn't want anything to burst their little bubble so much so that he's controlling the situation a little too much. but.... she also loves him, and he hasn't really stepped over the line of toxic.......... until she catches him stealing a pair of her panties and realizes his phone is full of pictures of her.

and it starts off like an argument, until he starts to confess his real fantasies. and he knows it might be too much, but she makes him so insane it's like he can't help himself. and the longer he talks about all of those fantasies, confessing how fucked he knows it is and how she really could do better, she just keeps getting more and more turned on. and it's shocking to her too, but she really fucking likes it. she's never had someone take care of her, really and truly take care of everything and just let her exist without having to make all the decisions or take control, and he's just offering it all to her on a platter she just has to let him take it.

and so while he thinks revealing his desires is about to break them up, and he's losing his fucking mind about it, she's ready to double down hard on the relationship and on what they do behind closed doors. so she shocks him when she not only agrees for more but asks for more.

and so that's when she gives him the key, that's when she tells him that he's allowed to come in whenever he wants. to touch her whenever he wants. she wants it all, but all she asks in exchange is that he stops hiding his desires from her, because that's what was driving the wedge between them. he's patient about using the new found control though, because he doesn't know what that will do for their relationship and she doesn't necessarily know what she's allowing him to do..... he can't smother her ALL at once.

but that changes when she falls asleep one night before texting him goodnight, she's been stressed and worn thin and he's not had the opportunity to see her let alone take care of her..... and he's feeling a little neglected too. and he waits a couple of hours for a response, but finally he decides it's time to use the key. so he drives over, slips in quietly, and finds her sound asleep, phone still clutched in her fingers and a video looping on repeat.

he's hard in a second, desperate in a second, and he has to do something about it. so he starts off slow, peeing off her clothes and gently teasing her nipples, getting a blush in her cheeks and making her perfectly hot and receptive to his tongue teasing her sweet clit.

she’s been so tired lately that she’s well and truly out, and she doesn’t really wake up until he’s teasing her wet cunt with his cock, not quite fucking her yet but everything in between. and when she wakes it’s mid-orgasm and desperate for more, and she's aware that something feels different but she just woke up and she's caught between realizing yunho is actually here and pushing himself inside her and thinking it might be a dream.

but he's whispering to her, clutching her close and begging her to just let him have this.... and of course she will, she agreed, but as she comes more and more into consciousness the feeling of him and his words start to make sense. he’s not wearing a condom for the first time ever, and that's not something they've ever agreed on going without before. she's just trying to figure out what is going on but he's fucking into her harder and deeper than before, with a whimpering need on his lips that makes her body curl up in pleasure and she knows she should stop him but truthfully she doesn't want to.

and while she clings to him, yunho's delirious. the feeling of having her completely, of knowing he's the only person who's ever been inside her fully with nothing between them, of knowing that the risk might be worth it. his mind starts to spin until he's a babbling mess, telling her he's going to leave a piece of himself behind for her, make them whole, make sure she can never ever leave.

and even though she knows it's a terrible idea, a decision only made in the middle of sex because it feels good, she finds herself clutching him closer, goading him on. no one has ever wanted her quite like he does and it makes her want to throw everything she's ever cared about right out the window if it means he'll look at her like this forever.

ANYWAYS now i have to write full lowkey toxic possessive yunho with a reader who is down to be fully consumed by him like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[221bluescarf]

You know what's really not helpful sometimes?

Minimizing someone's symptoms

"I heard voices" ⁠—don't say oh it was probably the TV or, you know, the walls are really thin. Maybe you heard someone...

"I thought invisible people watched me in the shower, so I showered with clothes on" ⁠—don't say well that's normal, I used to be uncomfortable changing in front of photos because it feels like they can see me. I just started telling myself "whatever" and got over it

There's 2 reasons for this (probably more, but I'm focusing on 2)

1. It can make it even harder to distinguish reality.

Could it be the radio? Yes it's within the realm of possibility. But if I tell you I'm hearing voices and you dismiss it as a real sound... Now when I hear voices I think: Well, is it real? Is there someone there? There must be a real sound or someone in the house. He said it's not a hallucination. Are they real? Are the demons here? It might even encourage a delusion

2. A lot of us are already have imposter syndrome or are in denial of our illness

We are either inclined to believe we're not sick at all, or we are afraid we're faking or exaggerating. If you try to normalize our experiences... maybe it's not really psychosis? Maybe I wasn't having an episode? Maybe I'm not sick at all!

Is it possible someone could mistake a common or "normal" thought/fear for psychosis or paranoia? Yeah maybe. But those people aren't getting diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Anyway. That's just my thoughts.

[scrubbinn]

Slime HRT: 12 months “Nice meeting you”

“Well hello there. I don’t know who’ll be listening to these recordings. That odd doctor perhaps? Well… Hello! I am Mayday Mulberry. I think. I don’t actually remember. It's a long story. Perhaps we should start at the beginning. I woke up one morning in a hospital bed with a nice doctor looking over me with a sorrowful face. There were a few people crying by my side, and some tried hugging me. I really didn’t like the feeling of being hugged, but I felt like they needed it. They gave me so many interesting items and told me they belonged to me. They practically shoved them into my hands, and each time they asked me to remember anything about it. I never did remember, all it did was make my head hurt and gave me an awful sense of guilt. I suppose a lot of people liked the person I used to be. But I'm not exactly sure how I can become this person again. I don't feel like Mayday, perhaps I shouldn't try to be. Perhaps I should avoid referring to myself as Mayday for the moment.”

“The doctor said I would need to make these recordings of my journey every month in order to continue my transition. I was told I was originally human, and slowly became a slime. I can’t say I really understand it, but every time I see myself in a mirror, I become so happy, yet so sad. I asked the people here to remove the mirror after a while. Seeing the human bits of me still clinging on like ragged clothing. It hurts in a way I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Becoming a slime is the only way to fix that pain. That is simply something I know for a fact. Maybe the previous me knew why, I truly wish I had the chance to ask her.”

“Forgive me, I'm a bit beside myself. I know I should be marking down the changes I've been experiencing, but it's not exactly easy to spot the changes of a body I don't know. All I've ever known is change. Am I going to notice when this heart isn't human anymore? Well, I guess it never was. It's not in a slime’s nature to reflect on the past. We simply drag ourselves forward, perpetually stuck in the simple present. Perhaps I'll start acting like that as time goes on. I think it would be rather nice not to worry so much about the past. Right, physical changes, that is what this recording is about, another thing slimes are not good at is focusing, haha… I was given some photos of mysel- Ms. Mulberry from a month ago. Most of this body's skin has been covered in goo since then. Some of the cloudy sections have cleared up, and muscle fibers are visible underneath. It would seem the skin underneath has dissolved or transformed to the slime biomass. The only parts not covered are the upper neck and face, with the chest area still clouded as I wait for the skin to fully disappear. I am able to poke through this layer and touch the muscles underneath. A thoroughly unpleasant experience that I do not wish to do again. My fingers and part of the hand now have a new layer of “skin” over the slime. This new layer is waxy and smooth. It bubbles up like bar soap and can be stretched like taffy. Though putting it back into place is, rather difficult. Perhaps I'll be able to control it one day, being able to stretch into all manner of shapes is a pleasant thought. The new layer is certainly living tissue, or the equivalent of such a thing for a slime, so moving it is within the realm of possibilities. I'm able to feel things through it, and with skin this smooth, almost every surface feels like silk, but changing the texture of my fingers is currently impossible. Perhaps one day, mimicking the textures of nearby objects will be possible as well, and with color changing, I would be able to camouflage anywhere I went. But sadly, it seems that is a mere pipe dream for now.”

I might have also done something rather, well, mostly… almost definitely… completely rash. Curiosity, another trait common among slimes, got the better of me and had me take a knife and whittle a small piece off the new skin. Just to see its composition of course!! But, well, it certainly hurt that's for sure. But, this is a brand new medication, and science stops for nothing, therefore it's in everyones’ best interests to gain as much knowledge as possible about it! So now, I have a small piece of waxy skin, and I'm currently waiting to deliver it to Dr. Erian tomorrow. It's only in hindsight that I realize, perhaps this hair would have been a better sample. Then again, I'd prefer to not think about this mess on my head any longer than I need to.

This hair can only be called a handful. Based on the journals I've read, it would seem I- er, Ms. Mulberry! Didn't see much of a point in proper hair care, nor chose to describe it in great detail either. Every morning I find myself spending half an hour reshaping the entire thing. Sleeping on a pillow seems to compress it to the point where it's completely flattened to one side. I've become a ball of clay, slapped down on a table. It moves like small strands of sand but removing it hurts just like plucking a human hair. I guess the best description of it would be something similar to soap shavings. It used to be much more gel-like but has hardened to solid bits, and unfortunately it most likely will not be controllable like the rest of me. There's no feeling to it besides the connection to the scalp. If anything I’m finding it more a pain than euphoric, but removal at this point wouldn't help all that much. At least it's better than shedding human hair everywhere.

“There have been, other, changes too. Less pleasant ones. I was told before I first woke up that I experienced debilitating headaches nearly everyday, even to the point of fading from consciousness. This fading, soon passed as my new core had fully formed. A stomach-like organ that sends its roots through this body in order to better control it. Organic matter is siphoned through it like a funnel, then spitting out new biomass to rebuild the body. However, the dreadful problem of these pulsating headaches has persisted. It would seem this problem will no longer dissipate on its own. Consultations with the doctor of this care facility or Dr. Erian has proved unhelpful in resolving this. Any pain medicine no longer works and has only caused more problems. It feels as though my perception is loosening nearly everyday. I wonder in fear and excitement what my mind will become in the coming months.

“Now then back to the physical changes. Let’s see here, Ah yes, let’s talk about-

“Hey, are you free right now?”

“Oh, hello Sweetie. I’m recording right now for the doctor. I’ll set it aside for now. Do you need something?”

“How are you feeling? Is… your memory back? I found some more pictures of us to see if it helps.”

“No, I still don’t remember anything, I apologize for not being able to recognize your face, but I’d rather not look at old photos, I can’t stand seeing those old faces. We'll just have to be patient and wait for these memories to come back. So please… Please just be patient.”

“I don't know how much longer I can wait. I basically watched you die. I, I... I miss you hun.”

“I'm sure she misses you too. Now then, I have a recording to finish. Goodbye...”

“...Resuming recording in 3, 2… Other changes, other changes... Ugh. My memory is completely shot now! Great, absolutely fantastic. Sigh, perhaps lunch is in order. Recording over for now. I’ll finish the rest later. Maybe. If I remember.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702

[eriochromatic]

I am in love with the wha cross guild designs. Can you say something more about them? Like the thought process behind them and stuff.

sure! What I focused on first is how Mihawk, Buggy, and Crocodile's motives and personality would translate into the WHA world (I need a loose story first to be motivated before delving into the design!)

tbh I think with one piece's characters so focused on freedom and living without constraint, all pirate characters would technically be brimhats LOL (and Coco's arc of realizing the flaws of the current insitution is quite similar to Koby and the marines).

Devil fruit powers are easy to translate into seals tattooed on the skin (hence wha!Buggy's seal on his chest letting him split his body and wha!Crocodile's on his hand giving him sand manipulation). Mihawk is more interesting since he doesn't have a devil fruit, so naturally wha!Mihawk also doesn't have tattooed seals. Another way for a witch to become a brimhat is dabbling in forbidden seals, so wha!Mihawk has cursed seals on Yoru instead (which makes him a brimhat without modifying his body)

As for cornerstone character traits in the original: Mihawk is the greatest swordsman, Buggy is… just vibing LMFAO, and Crocodile is ambitous/power hungry/looking to rule his own kingdom. Obviously the greatest swordsman title means nothing in WHA, so wha!Mihawk instead is a great artificer, with Yoru being the strongest magic imbued weapon in existence. I'd like to think Yoru's seals were initially within guidelines, but Mihawk felt those rules were suffocating Yoru's potential, which is when he started using cursed and forbidden seals instead, all for the sake of Yoru becoming stronger.

Buggy I'd imagine is kind of like how Iguin is introduced in Coco's past- as a solo traveling witch mingling amongst common folk rather than being in a community of fellow witches. I think he'd be addicted to that feeling of superiority he'd get from being a revered witch in the eyes of the common people, so he's probably the head of a traveling circus troupe (where he's the only witch) touring the countryside (keeping a relatively low profile in the realm of witches, never staying in one place too long so the Knights Moralis don't go after him). Buggy's definitely not as altruistic or eager to help those in need as witches are supposed to be in WHA society, but of course he'd put on a good show to entertain the masses.

Eolio mentioned something interesting in chpt 53 ("We can be as in the tales of yore. King and witch, side by side"). There might've been more references to this concept of a monarch/person in power with a witch as their advisor (I just can't find it at the moment a;sldkfs) but I'd imagine that's what Crocodile would be doing. Like Buggy, I think he also gets a sense of superiority by being alongside commonfolk (vs Mihawk who's goal is to genuinely just make the strongest weapon possible and not interested in mingling with others). But instead of Buggy's route of mingling with commoners, Crocodile would definitely go the more sinister route- find some easily manipulated king or high lord and get into his good graces, eventually becoming the witch operating in the shadows and whispering machinations in his liege's ears. We don't know much about the pennisula yet and how far the witches' institution reaches so I don't know the exact position of power Crocodile feels safe aiming for without the Knights Moralis coming for his ass (a ruler might be too obvious lol but then again Crocodile tried to take over Alabasta right underneath the World Government's noses so who knows).

As for the designs themselves: Mihawk's fluffy plume being reminiscient of a brushbug is what started this entire idea for me, so I knew I had to add that in somehow. For each character I picked an overarching motif/theme I wanted in the character design, as well as adding in WHA design elements. WHA characters all tend to have large cloaks to cover their body while writing seals, and even though Cross Guild is all brimhats, nobody starts out as a brimhat so I'd imagine a large cloak or something top heavy would still be familiar to them even if they don't care about covering seals anymore.

For Mihawk I leaned a bit more into the vampire theme than his usual (cloak silhouette is bat like, plus the additional crosses everwhere. His sleeves aren't exactly attached to his jacket (like OPLA) and I also added that detail in the pants haha. I think Yoru is the real star here with all the seals on it, the two big ones are actually modified seals from the Ars Goetia (since they're supposed to be cursed after all); the top one is Glasya-Labolas (manslaughter and bloodshed) and the bottom one is Ronove (taker of old souls). The flower pattern on his sleeves is also not as paisley looking since it doesn't fit with the WHA artstyle, but there's so much hatching that at the end of the day I don't think it mattered lol. His cloak is the least cloak like since he needs to be able to swing that sword HAHA also he's not interacting with normal humans much anyways, usually he only interacts with witches that try to challenge him. Personally I think wha!Mihawk is quite bad at drawing seals on the fly- his specialty is being able to carve complex ones on metal perfectly so they'd be suitable in a fight later.

Buggy I went full medieval jester mode (I always tend to lean toward that aesthetic for Buggy rather than Joker Batman anyways haha). A couple of star motifs here and there, as well as slashed sleeves to reinforce the slicing and dicing of his body. Overall there's just a lot of vertical and horizontal lines on his body for that purpose. I really wanted to let Buggy's beautiful hair down since WHA's style is lovely with that kind of flowing hair. Oh all three of them are also wearing slyph shoes!

Crocodile's coat is directly inspired from Iguin's (esp for that scale motif); overall I wanted to incorporate flowy ornaments for him since I'd be drawing a lot of flowing sand; hence all the tassels on his cloak and sleeves. Cutouts are there for him to use sand manipulation more effectively. I know in canon both for him and Buggy the clothes also are affected by devil fruit powers but I don't think that would be the case here- Buggy's clothes also probably have seals in them and no one would be able to see if he's on stage but I think for Crocodile, since he'd be working with normal humans more he does have to be more cautious about things (hence why he also has a more traditional cloak compared to the others). Sand hat for coolness also for convenience bc he can just dissipate the sand if he's trying to disguise himself (like how Ininia's ribbons can appear normal instead of brim shaped). I also gave him a smoking pipe instead of a cigar because the pipe can be used as a red herring of sorts- to outsiders it might appear the pipe being the source of power (like for Mihawk's sword) but Crocodile's sand manipulation ability has the same scope as canon.

ANYWAYS that's probably a way more detailed response than you expected but hopefully that was interesting to read my thought process behind things! even though i captioned it Cross Guild I guess it ended up being more East Blue/Alabasta saga personalities than actual post Wano Cross Guild dynamics haha

[y-rhywbeth2]

Clothes and Fashion

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. There's a lot of lore; I don't know everything. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest, etc etc etc]

Clothes in general; underwear; not wasting trousers on children who'll only outgrow them within the week; pockets! Sparkly hats; cosmetics; the word for hair care products; etc.

Demihuman cultures might vary slightly from this, but will generally follow the gist of it and they're all noted to be far less fashion conscious than humans. Dwarves, gnomes and orcs as a norm like to dress practically in durable clothes. Halflings, goblins and kobolds will blend in quietly until special occasions, where they'll dress as brightly and colourfully as possible. Elves have their own various culture-specific fashion trends, but mostly tend to wear whatever the hell they personally feel like wearing, be that human fashion, diaphanous gowns, or just living plants trained to be worn as garments with some jewellery.

-

Underwear:

Dethmas: '...a tight cloth breast-binding or sling (the equivalent of a modern sports bra, although instead of stretchy fabric covering a lot of skin, the Realms version is more like a trough or shelf of tightly-stretched cloth sewn to cords (precisely because elastic fabric is largely unknown in the Realms).

The concept of wire for breast support and shaping is unknown in the Realms, but corsets (laced-up, tight boiled hide, not whalebone or any sort of stiffeners) and stomachers that cinch the waist tight are popular, and many of them have shaped panels for the hips and a top ‘shelf’ to thrust out and support the breasts. Corsets are also unisex garments.

Clouts: '...a very tight leather, cloth, or cord (listed here in descending order of perceived quality and durability) belt worn around the hips, and usually held tight by multiple hooks (like a modern bra) at the front. Then a long, diaper-like strip of rectangular cloth (usually cotton) is passed between the legs, up through the front of the belt to dangle down, and up through the back of the belt to dangle down. [...] In many cases, the dangling front and back ends are designed to be tied together, and the cloth may be folded in on itself for absorbency [menstruation] and padding [horse riding].' Clouts come in fancy lingerie styles and are easily available in cities. Those who menstruate place extra layers of thick red cloth in and change as necessary.

Codpieces are also normally worn.

Black - and especially red - are considered the 'sexy' colours, especially when applied to undergarments. I'm going to make a different post about dating and so on in Faerûn though, so I'll talk about dressing sexy there instead.

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Children:

Nobody wastes money getting complicated clothes for growing children who are going to outgrow their garments in a matter of weeks or months. All children wear smocks, usually hand-me-downs, ‘with leggings or pull-on hose (long stockings tied to an underbelt to keep them from “riding down”) with boots, clogs, slippers for indoor wear, or bare feet.’

Nevertheless, customisation is common enough in children’s clothes. Things such as belts, scarves, deliberately arranging a too-big smock to bare one shoulder in a way that I do remember doing myself as a child, curiously.

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General:

The majority of people in the Realms can afford a sizable wardrobe. Daily wear tends to be practical, but almost everyone has some kind of fine clothing they’ll bring out on special occasions. Noble and the wealthy women are often seen in fancy gowns, but will likely be wearing practical garb underneath and be prepared to pin up their hems if need be. Nobles also really like their cloaks

All cities and markets will have tailors and seamstresses for altering garments as necessary, whether as repairs and maintenance or for aesthetics like dyes and adornments. Almost all clothiers found in cities are prepared to do on-the-spot alterations. Enameled metals, coloured cut-glass and painted wire are popular amongst the working glass who want to look flashy but can’t afford genuine fancy stuff. Many outfits may be modified, so that armour such as breastplates and gorgets are disguised within fabric and bodices, or jerkins reinforced with armour plating.

Breeches and tunics, the former usually made of leather, are the most common garment on all genders in most of the continent. Skirts are rarely seen, though gowns are common enough. Bare arms, a low neckline that exposes a ‘little bosom’, and a hemline at the mid-calf or lower is considered dressing conservatively. 'Low-cut peasant blouses and even lace trimmings are widely used.'

Keyhole necklines are common along the trade routes of the Heartlands, and they're called 'gracetels' which is an elven word of unknown meaning. The elven empire of Cormanthor was known for skin-exposing risqué fashions (by real-world and in-universe dwarven and gnomish standards, at least), so possibly the word comes from there, although humans were cutting their clothes like this long before Netheril.

It's also called a 'heartbare' or 'heartbearing' cut, and Waterdhavian generation of the 1350s to the 1370s called it a 'splendour-glance.'

The commons style of jerkin on Faerun is a heavy, fitted garment that goes down to the knees and fastens down the front or side by a sustem of toggles and loops. Shoulder padding and a stand-up collar are common, and they usually have pockets (internal or external)

Most people will be wearing belts and baldrics (belts that go diagonally across the chest, over the shoulder) for holding clothes up and carrying items.

A tammalar is a type of baldric with many pouches attached.

Bracelars are leather braces with pouches, popular with merchants.

'...and the scrip, which in recent centuries has come to mean a large piece of leather or cloth with sewn-on ties or thongs, and sewn-on loop or sleeves for those ties to go through. It is gathered up (around goods, to form a carrysack) into a bundle, and kept that way by threading ties through the sleeves (and a user’s belt, to carry it at the hip or hanging from the rear waist).'

Typical shoes are either boots or open-toed sandals. Thigh-high boots and stiletto heels canonically exist, ways to make them stop murdering your feet when you wear them apparently do not.

Hat fashions come and go rapidly. A ‘fancy-me’ or ‘dee’ is a hat that’s been augmented with several feathers, gauze, gemstones and various sparkly things, usually worn by those concerned with fashion.

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Outdoors wear:

Weathercloaks are ankle-length cloaks made from a light material held together by a brooch. They’re noted to not be much use at keeping the cold out, but are better than nothing. Those with more coin can afford leather longcoats that keep the rain off and greatcloaks for the cold.

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Piercings:

Ear piercings and naval piercings are common, but other piercings are much more rarely seen outside of some priests who have ritual piercings for religious reasons. In the Western Heartlands (including the Gate) piercing your nostrils is also normal.

A person who has piercings other than these areas is assumed to be clergy, as these alterations are done for religious rites of passages rather than cosmetics.

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Cosmetics:

Makeup on Toril is called 'fleshpaint' in the tradestongue (i.e., Common), and apparently 'dardarra' in Chondathan and 'adratha' in Alzhedo (unless those are localised words in dialects of Common. It wasn't specified). Apparently they don't know the word 'makeup' at all.

The stuff that we'd recognise as cosmetics is created from a powder base of mud or chalk, mixed with the boiled essences of bark, reptile hide, plant matter or whatever else and then some kind of lipid (animal fat, seed oil, etc), simmered over heat before having colours and maybe scents added in. High-end brands may be enchanted with cantrips or orisons to keep it from going bad.

Fleshpaint is mostly popular in the south (Vilhon reach and lower), with most of the cosmetics industry working in southern Tethyr, the Vilhon, Chessenta and etc.

In the northern half of Faerûn, for the most part, your cosmetics options are mostly stuff like crushed berries that temporarily dye the skin that you can make in the kitchen.

Obviously trade hubs like the Gate and Waterdeep import the stuff, though it may not be cheap. You can buy it from street stalls or from beauty stores. Average decent quality product is 4-8gp, with the worse stuff peddled on the street going for 4sp (which is a decent chunk of most people's weekly wages gone). The luxury brands go for 20-75+gp per tiny bottle. It's also mostly popular with nobles and the nouveau-riche 'who may have closets full of a wide selection of scents, fleshpaints, specialized lip-paints, and so on.'

There's also a trend for doing decorative beauty spots in fancy shapes (flowers, stars, etc) painted onto the skin with something like a very thin tapered stick... or tattooed under the skin with a needle.

Painting your nails is also popular.

.

Hair:

Thurdrixes are hair products that work as dyes or to encourage hair growth (up to several inches a day). These treatments are also expensive, and may not be widely trusted due to being arcane magic. These products usually have long, fanciful sounding names.

Barbers and trained hairdressers aren't much of a thing, though they do exist. Usually you ask a family member to cut it for you, so there's not much call for professionals in the market

Plucking and shaving body hair is a fashion in the Southern hemisphere, but not really present in the rest of Faerûn (so not common in Baldur's Gate outside of places like Little Calimshan).

The fashion for men in the Heartlands is to have facial hair, though no particular style is more popular than others. Illuskans favour long beards, provided that they're not too impractical. Calishite fashion involves oils and perfumes to keep lice out, and a popular fashion in the South is for bare chins and long moustaches and sideburns which may well be seen further north due to trade and migration.

[open-hearth-rpg]

Journeys: Great RPG Mechanics #RPGMechanics: Week Five

In Playing at the World Jon Peterson mentions the impact of the board game Outdoor Survival (1972). It influenced early D&D– framing the act of crossing wild distances as an adventure unto itself, with perils beyond monsters. This theme appeared in several early board games– traveling out into a blank map, filling it in, and dealing with random events (Source of the Nile, Magic Realm, The Mystic Wood). The third booklet of original Dungeons & Dragons, “The Underworld & Wilderness Adventures,” specifically references Outdoor Survival and using it in play. 

So, while dungeons have always captured the imagination, travelling through great spans has always been a close-run second. The popularity of hex-crawls and point-crawls, moving through unknown space, illustrates something basic. There’s no functional difference between different spaces and locations within a game. A dungeon, in terms of motion through it, mechanically operates like a forest or a city. The party moves through a space and arrives at an event. There’s some description possibly of the passage, but functionally it is the same. 

The difference lies in the trappings and mechanics: time, obstacles, physicality, travel resources, etc. There are some meta-considerations as well. I remember running a city-based campaign which had a set of maps I’d drawn of different neighborhoods and areas. I had a player complain that he wanted a traveling campaign, to see different things. I explained that the city was varied and interesting– going to other places and neighborhoods could be just as cool. We went back and forth as I tried to drill down on what he wanted. 

It eventually came out that he wanted a game where his character could loot, destroy, and shit on folks and then move on. Having a game in a city meant he’d have to deal with people and potentially suffer consequences. 

In any case, if time and distance function mechanically the same across different sizes and instances (dungeon, wilderness, city), how does a game differentiate? The most common tool has been random encounters– with chances varying based on the terrain. Different environments have different appearance rates. That’s an approach ubiquitous to early FRPGs. That might then be elaborated with guidelines for speed, exhaustion, weather, supply, and encumbrance. The level depends on how crunchy the game is. In fact these kinds of systems have been a hallmark of trad approaches. 

So it was interesting to see a more modern, story-driven game take a swing at travel and work to integrate it into play. The One Ring (with the original subtitle of Adventures over the Edge of the Wild) aims for this. TOR has some trappings of the trad game, like Encumbrance but handled simply. It has the need for a map and the calculation of possible distance and travel time. Resolution here goes through setting route, judging distance, multiplying by terrain, and comparing that to speed. That generally determines the number of fatigue tests being made. 

Those tests are made by the traveling companions, with each having a different role. We have the Guide (making decisions), Scout (setting up camp), Huntsman (finding food), Look-out Man (keeping watch). Journeys have a set procedure beyond fatigue tests with players carrying out their role and comparing it to a hazard target, with different events possible.   

Forbidden Lands takes a page from TOR, echoing this procedure. It falls somewhere between Mutant: Year Zero’s zone exploration and TOR’s role system. In practice it feels a little more mechanical and wearing than a Tolkien-esque journey. Forbidden Land’s travel can be brutal– that’s a feature of the base game system. The land is supposed to be harsh, newly opened after a post-apocalyptic calamity. In that sense it works, but in play it can seem absolutely punishing for players who don’t expect it. I definitely want to explore travel in play– with something more than just an Undertake a Perilous Journey move. In theory I love the idea of a deep journey procedure, but neither TOR or FL exactly hit what I want. The former feels like too much calculation and too many rolls potentially and the latter like a procedure for beating down the player’s resources. I love the idea of Journey mechanics, but I want something which falls in the middle of those– offers interesting play, adds to the story, and feels like the sweeping grandeur of crossing great distances.

[tetheredbysin]

Okay so I'm curious, who do you think is most likely to get Kevin to come visit the paddock for next season?

Haas: it seems it was a good split and Ayao has said he was trying to get Kevin to be an advisor for the team. He also gets on well with Esteban, so it should be a bit different to last time. However, I think Toyota is a big competitor to BMW. So I don't know if he will really be allowed.

Nico: we know they have each other's numbers and I could easily picture Nico texting Kevin to come visit with the family. Especially now that he is not on the grid and direct competition. Here the issue might be the same though that Audi and BMW are competitors, but I'm less sure of this is a problem.

Yuki: so we saw Kevin offer Yuki his advisory services during the drivers parade, but I'm unsure if they are actually close enough for Yuki to invite him to visit or if it's more like a few phone calls a year.

Alba: we know that Kevin had been a bit of a mentor for her and now that he's gonna have a bit more time, it wouldn't be completely outside the realm of possibility that he would come and watch some of her races. And then maybe staying for the f1 race weekend overall.

What do you think? Can you tell I'm grasping at straws here. Kevin hasn't even been gone a week, but I already miss him. I'm really looking forward to Daytona but it feels so far away.

okay, a very interesting question and I have a few different answers for it.

the realistic answer: haas. yes, of course there is the competition side of manufacturers but teams with different manufacturers even work together within one class of racing so I don't see it being the dealbreaker. also, the most common way to get paddock access for a race is to be a guest of a specific team, so even if kevin could go without it, that'd be the most realistic case. especially if he stays in any kind of role at haas, be it advisor or development.

the answer I'd want to be real: nico. we all know that I absolutely adore these two, so of course I'd want to see a haasbands reunion. unfortunately I don't think they'll be keeping in contact too much from here on (other than maybe a comment on instagram or a random message here and there) but nothing would make me happier than to see these two stay friends. like just the idea of kevin taking his family to a race and seeing laura and noemi play together again, ugh...kill me now, it's too sweet.

yuki I think is a wiiiild stretch, not that it wouldn't be pretty funny. I don't think they really talk much outside of drivers' parades (not that kevin speaks to many drivers in general). also, we don't really know if the 'call me' was specifically directed at yuki, it could've just been kevin explaining something non-related to yuki. those driver parade conversations man, I'd love to be able to listen in somehow.

I could see kevin going to see alba race but moreso in a situation where an F1 academy race would just be convenient for him to get to, fitting with his own schedule. and again, getting into F1 academy is a great achievement but it's also not that different from what alba has been doing so far, so it would probably need to be something a bit more special for kevin to fully travel to another country to watch her race. (I have a lot of problems with F1 academy and I'm trying not to project here.)

at the end of the day, I don't care if it's fucking will buxton who invites him, I'd just love to see kevin on the grid again. F1 needs him more than kev needs F1.

[tolkiens-middleearth]

Topics & Themes in Tolkien’s Legendarium

The Perilous Realm

“Stories that are actually concerned primarily with ‘fairies,’ that is with creatures that might also in modern English be called ‘elves,’ are relatively rare, and as a rule not very interesting. Most good ‘fairy-stories’ are about the adventures of men in the Perilous Realm or upon its shadowy marches.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. On Fairy Stories.

Tolkien called it the Perilous Realm, Faery or Faërie, and for me these words represent one of the most fascinating theme in Tolkien’s Legendarium. It is both a narrative and a world-building element that can be found in all his major Middle-earth stories and is in a way essential for understanding Tolkien’s approach to his own created world.

Yet I feel it rarely gets talked about, so I want to briefly highlight what it is, how it functions in the narrative, and give a few examples from various stories. Unfortunately can’t go into a deep analysis because doing so would require me to write a book – which I would love to, but I don’t have the time or qualification). Quote sources and further reading recommendations are given at the end.

WANDERING INTO FAERY

 “It is common in Fairy tales for the entrance to the fairy world to be presented as a journey underground, into a hill or mountain or the like. [...] My symbol is not the underground, whether necrological and Orphic or pseudo-scientific in jargon, but the Forest […].” – J. R. R. Tolkien. “Smith of Wooton Major” essay.

The core of this theme is the mortal wanderer who comes to or crosses the borders of Faërie, the land of fairies or elves. This idea has been part of legends and myths for a long time, one of the most prominent examples probably being the island of Avalon in the Arthurian legend. Depending on the story, Faërie can occupy a different time and space than our own world, or share the same space or time “in different modes”. Getting into Faërie is not always possible and many things can stop someone from entering: it may be completely inaccessible, it may be hidden and people have to find it, or it may be accessible only to those who know the secret on how to enter it. Once you are there, it may be difficult to leave, or it may take some time. Being there could turn out to be dangerous, but it also doesn’t necessarily have to be. Tolkien wrote that “in it are pitfalls for the unwary and dungeons for the overbold”.

In The Lord of the Rings, there are many examples of such a realm, some barely noticeable and some very clear and detailed.

It starts subtle when Frodo, Sam and Pippin meet Gildor and his Elves near Woodhall. It is no specific realm that they enter, but just wandering with the Elves already lets the Hobbits experience something they are not used to. They have trouble finding words for it afterwards or remembering it clearly, with Tolkien describing it that for Pippin it felt like he was in a waking dream. The next example is then already more direct: the four Hobbits enter the Old Forest. This time it really is perilous for them, they get lost and cannot find a way out. Tolkien describes it as follows:

“They began to feel that all this country was unreal, and that they were stumbling through an ominous dream that led to no awakening.”

Frodo almost falls asleep near an enchanting river, Merry and Pippin almost die. Without the help of an unexpected inhabitant of this forest, they never would have gotten out.

Reaching Rivendell is another less clear example. Rivendell itself is easier accessible than the Old Forest and less perilous for the Hobbits. But reaching it also includes a river, a river that is under Elrond’s command and that rises “in anger when [Elrond] has great need to bar the Ford”.  And within Rivendell, Frodo experiences another kind of “Faërian Drama” as Tolkien calls it: the stories and songs told in Rivendell hold him “in a spell”, and “the enchantment became more and more dreamlike” until in the end Frodo falls asleep once more. Bilbo comments that it’s difficult to stay awake “until you get used to it”.

The most prominent example is of course Lothlórien, a land of Elves that is rarely visited by mortal beings and where the flow of time is indeed different than that in the outside world. It’s also well defended against wanderers, and both in the world and the narrative the fellowship has to pass through: there are guards at the boarders that have to be convinced, there is a river that has to be crossed, a hidden path that has to be taken blindfolded. Tolkien is in no rush to get the fellowship to Galadriel – the reader, together with the wanderers, have to experience this journey.

The purest form of this theme in The Lord of the Rings is, of course, Frodo and Bilbo leaving for the island Tol Eressëa at the end of the story. It is the longest journey into Faërie, a journey that only a few are allowed to take and that you won’t come back from. Tol Eressëa is no longer in the space of the human world, and it’s very telling that Tolkien named the haven on the eastern shore on the island Avallónë.

More examples can be found in Tolkien’s other stories, and I will mention them less detailed when talking about the actual centre of the theme:

THE MORTAL VISITOR

„It seemed to [Frodo] that he had stepped through a high window that looked on a vanished world. A light was upon it for which his language had no name. All that he saw was shapely, but the shapes seemed at once clear cut, as if they had been first conceived and drawn at the uncovering of his eyes, and ancient as if they had endured forever.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. The Lord of the Rings.

All of Tolkien’s major stories have one thing in common: they have someone human at the core who is unfamiliar with Faërie and able to experience it as new and from an outside perspective.

In The Hobbit it is Bilbo who stumbles into a world he is not prepared for at all, and while it is less clearly shown in the narrative of a children’s book, the journey of Bilbo and the Dwarves clearly show signs of this theme – a dangerous forest, an enchanted river, a white deer, and Elven fires that suddenly vanish.

For The Lord of the Rings I have shown above that all four Hobbits experience this in one way or another, although Frodo is probably the one given the most focus.

“This is a history in brief drawn from many older tales; for all the matters that it contains were of old, and still are among the Eldar of the West, recounted more fully in other histories and songs. But many of these were not recalled by Eriol, or men have again lost them since his day. This Account was composed first by Pengolod of Gondolin, and Aelfwine turned it into our speech as it was in his time, adding nothing, he said, save explanations of some few names.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. Quenta Silmarillion.

The Quenta Silmarillion is a different type of story, so here the theme also takes a different form: it’s not a narrative as The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings and more a historical chronicle in style. It’s written as such, but also given the corresponding context: when Tolkien was first writing the Book of Lost Tales and later the Quenta Silmarillion, the framework he had built for it was that of a mortal men coming to Tol Eressëa and learning of these past events. The one wandering into the Perilous Realm is Eriol or Ælfwine, listening to the stories of the Elves and writing them down for other humans to read. When Tolkien eventually started writing The Lord of the Rings, he was able to change his framing story. There was no longer a need for Ælfwine to reach Tol Eressëa to learn about these tales – now it’s Bilbo who wrote it down in three volumes called “Translations from the Elvish” that he had added to his private diary when he handed it over to Frodo.

This concept applies to the Quenta Silmarillion as a whole, but the main three stories within the Quenta Silmarillion still have a similar mortal visitor as The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings. In Beren and Lúthien, it’s the mortal Beren who wanders into the Elven Kingdom Doriath and gets enchanted when he sees Lúthien dancing and singing. In the Children of Húrin, it’s Túrin who enters Doriath as well, but also the Elven Kingdom Nargothrond. Both times, Túrin is unable to find the entrance himself; he is lead there by Elven guides – first Beleg, then Gwindor. And in the Fall of Gondolin, Tuor is led by an Elven guide to through many gates under a mountain to the Elven Kingdom Gondolin – one of the rarer cases of a "journey underground, into a hill or mountain".

And even the Akallabêth incorporates this theme, although in a different way than the previous stories. The story of the Fall of Númenor is about wanting to go to Faërie, and not being allowed to. There are other aspects to this as well of course, but looking at it with this theme in mind, that is the core of the story. Ar-Pharazôn is the mortal man who desires to reach Faërie, but when he tries to get there by force it ends in his death.

The mortal visitor as the protagonist in their story is essential for this theme to work. To experience Faërie as a visitor, to enter a “dream that some other mind is weaving” in such a way, it is a uniquely mortal experience that the reader could imagine to have, but that the immortal Elves can almost never share – after all they create their realms, they are the creator of a dream that the mortal wanderer, Tolkien as the writer, and we as the reader are dreaming.

THE CREATOR OF THE DREAM

“Faërie contains many things besides elves and fays, and besides dwarfs, witches, trolls, giants, or dragons: it holds the seas, the sun, the moon, the sky; and the earth, and all things that are in it: tree and bird, water and stone, wine and bread, and ourselves, mortal men, when we are enchanted.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. On Fairy Stories.

The immortal creators are not irrelevant of course, although they cannot be the centre of any story about wandering into the Perilous Realm. The outsider experience, essential for this theme, cannot come from the one living inside the Perilous Realm. The inhabitants in Tolkien’s stories are Elves most of the time – near Woodhall, in Rivendell, Lóthlorien, Mirkwood, Gondolin, Doriath and Nargothrond. But they are of course not the only creators of such realms. Dwarves come in and out of these stories, and in the case of the Old Forest the implication is that Old Man Willow is the main force behind the spell:

“His grey thirsty spirit drew power out of the earth and spread like fine root-threads in the ground, and invisible twig-fingers in the air, till it had under its dominion nearly all the trees of the Forest from the Hedge to the Downs.”

And of course the Valar and Maiar have their part in the story. Especially Tol Eressëa and Valinor are mainly built by the Valar, and in Middle-eath the magical boundaries of Doriath were set by Melian. In moments where Fëarie is not solely or not at all made by the Elves, they may enter the dream of another mind as well. It happened when the Elves first came to Valinor, and a more personal example is Thingol meeting Melian for the first time, where “an enchantment fell on him” in which he was caught for years without moving. This is only possible, however, when Elves meet someone with a creative power far greater than them – one of the Maia or above is required.  

However, this was never Tolkien’s focus. In Tolkien’s stories, the Perilous Realm is often a place inhabited by the Fair Folk – but I have also mentioned that sometimes Faërie exists in another mode. Throughout the examples given, dreams have been an important element of the experience of Faërie, and it’s one that Tolkien also thought a lot about. In our own world, we cannot reach Faërie in our space, but it may be approachable in another mode – through dreams. This becomes especially apparent in his texts The Lost Road and The Notion Club Papers, and it was also a part of how Tolkien saw his own relationship with his work: a mortal entering a dream of Faërie.  

ENDING THOUGHTS

There are many aspects of this that I haven’t touched on, and that I would love to explore or discuss. There is for example the case of Frodo, a mortal who has been in touch with something that belongs into the world of Faërie, that he cannot properly come back: when coming back to the Shire, Marry comments on how it feels like a dream is slowly fading, like he is waking up. Frodo however says: “To me it feels more like falling asleep again.” Already, it is clear he can never fully return.

Then there is the case of reversing the idea of Faërie in the case of Túrin – he is trying to bring Nargothrond closer to the outside world so that he can use its force in war. In return, he makes it accessible and the kingdom falls. In general, it’s a fascinating thing to see Túrin’s relationships with the Perilous Realms.  

Or if we talk about dreams, what about the nightmares? Is Mordor basically an anti-Faërie, inhabited by Orcs instead of Elves, where the path leads through a spider lair instead of over a river, and where any mortal being can only end up as a corrupted slave if they stay there for too long?

What about including such an essential theme in adaptations? In Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings movies, flawed as they may be at times, the experience of Faërie through the eyes of the Hobbits is notable – especially in Rivendell and Lóthlorien. Meanwhile in Amazon’s The Rings of Power, this theme is completely absent and the Elven realms in Middle-earth have no more mystery than a Harfoot camp or a random human village in the South.  

I hope I get to explore this theme more, I’ve been eager for month to write at least a tiny bit about it and it’s already way too long for tumblr again. But there are other themes that are also very interesting, so we’ll see how it’ll go…

If you have read up to here to the end I would like to thank you for your time and attention – both is much appreciated!

READ MORE ON THIS TOPIC

On Fairy Stories, an essay by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Smith of Wootton Major, by J. R. R. Tolkien.

The Lost Road, fragments by J. R. R. Tolkien.

The Notion Club Papers, fragments by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Faërie: Tolkien’s Perilous Land, an essay by Verlyn Flieger.

A Question of Time, by Verlyn Flieger.

QUOTE SOURCES

J. R. R. Tolkien. On Fairy Stories.

J. R. R. Tolkien. The Lord of the Rings.

J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien. The Silmarillion.

J. R. R. Tolkien; edited by Veflyn Flieger. Smith of Wootton Major ‘Extended Edition’, Smith of Wootton Major essay.

J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien. The Lost Road and other Writings, Quenta Silmarillion.

[conkers-thecosy]

Ohh, they all sound so good, could you share about "The Prince and the Botonist" please?

Hullo! 💛

Okay, so The Prince and The Botanist is a murder mystery/romance! I started writing it last January as an original story. Here's a snippet!

“Tea?” Dante asked after a long moment.  “Thank you,” Lucien nodded. “Was that all you wished to say to me before we begin?”  “Actually, there was something else,” he admitted, organising the cups and saucers with slightly shaking hands. “There’s something I’d like to ask of you, if I may.”  “You may ask,” he said noncommittally.   “My students are all commoners, you understand. They come from poor homes and poor families,” Dante explained, lifting up the teapot and starting to pour, but missing the cup and splashing into the saucer slightly.   Concerned he might scald himself, Lucien nudged the tea tray a little so that the tea was squarely in the cup. Dante’s eyes went wide in surprise, and he stared at the now cleanly pouring tea like it was somehow extraordinary.  “Yes, I understand,” Lucien said, when no further comment followed. “Local families from the lower city, I’m told?”  Dante poured the second cup without saying anything, this time without spilling any. He then replaced the teapot, and picked up the cleaner of the two cups, offering it to Lucien politely.   “It’s important that they feel comfortable here,” he continued, then offering Lucien milk and sugar, which he silently refused by holding up his hand. “Which is why I ask to be called by my first name only.”  “Lord Dante,” Lucien began, picking up a teaspoon and gently stirring the fragrant, hot liquid he had been served. “I can’t possibly…”  “Your Highness, I really must insist,” the younger man said firmly, some of his original energy returning. “At least within the confines of my home and gardens, I would ask that you call me Dante. We’ve all worked very hard here, and overcoming the fear they had of me simply for our various backgrounds has sometimes seemed insurmountable. I will happily answer any questions you have, I will cooperate with you and your enquiries of course, but I will not have my students and apprentices disrupted.”  Lucien turned this over in his mind, slowly considering his words. It would be a breach of protocol, certainly, and to him it felt hugely disrespectful, especially to a young noble of his standing. Still, he had to admit that what Dante said made a certain amount of sense, and to request it only within his own home was a fair compromise.   “Very well,” Lucien agreed at length. “However, I must stress that you continue to address me as a Prince of the realm, no matter where we are.”  “Oh of course!” he agreed readily, as though that hadn’t even crossed his mind. “I wouldn’t dare suggest otherwise, your Highness.”  Lucien nodded. There was a moment of silence again, and Dante offered him the plate of biscuits without a word. He maintained the quietness, and accepted one graciously.  “That was all I wanted to say,” Dante told him, taking a biscuit for himself and sitting back in the wide, winged chair. “Thank you for hearing me out.”  Lucien sipped his tea and was immediately intrigued by the delicious, floral taste. The tea was a pretty, bright yellow, and somehow tasted of sunshine. 

Thank you for asking about it! It's a little over 50k words right now, and I'm toying with the idea of rewriting the plot as a bagginshield fic! (I deliberately chose this passage because it reminded me of Them a little!)

Thanks so much for asking about the project! I hope you enjoyed my answer!

Conkers 🌰

WIP List Here

[henrysglock]

Mothergate: Time For Some More Horrifying Science Facts

Because all love my horrible science facts <3

We’ve discussed the history of uterine transplants, and pinned down that it’s 100% possible with zero suspension of disbelief. Uterine transplants were attempted in 1931 most notably with Lili Elbe, who died of immune complications, not complications of the surgery. The first successful kidney transplant, however, happened in 1954, which puts us perfectly in the realm of reality (again, without any suspension of disbelief).

However, something that had been stumping me for a bit was the fact that egg freezing and IVF didn’t really show up in the medical community until the ‘80s. So, I decided to look a little deeper into the history of the subjects. Here’s what I found.

IVF:

Though the first successful human IVF procedure happened in 1978 with the birth of Louise Brown, experimentation with IVF dates back to the mid 1930s.

(x)

However, there was success in rabbits in 1959.

This has been confirmed by multiple sources (x)

Rabbits. 1959.

(and in Brenner’s Encyclopedia of Genetics, no less 💀)

Here’s why I care more about early success in animals than I do about the first successful human cases:

1. Brenner has no code of ethics, which is integral to the medical community at large. That’s why procedures takes so long to get put into practice. Brenner’s whole thing is no-ethics fringe science. He cares about what is possible, not what’s right or safe.

2. Henward directly refers to both himself and El as being “animals” in Brenner’s eyes. Thus, animal trials are on the board.

3. The rabbit scene, 1959.

Not just the fact that it’s a trapped rabbit in 1959 associated with Henward, but that Virginia (removed/from a distance) and Alice (directly) are associated with that particular rabbit.

In fact, the gutted rabbit is most heavily associated with Alice, which feels like a tie to Mother Alice being described as being cut open in the Indianapolis Gazette (she was compared to a deer, but the “torn open” part remains the same).

So organ/uterine transplants and IVF? ✅ In the realm of possibility both in reality and within the bounds of Stranger Things.

SEX CELL FREEZING:

Sex cell freezing began in 1949 with the discovery of glycerol as a cryoprotectant. In 1950, scientists began freezing various sperm samples and found success in the process. Egg freezing, however, wasn’t successful until 1972, when Whittingham/Leibo/Mazur perfected the slow-freeze method in mouse eggs.

Now you might be going “but James, that means it can’t have happened back in 1959, and that dismantles your whole theory”…Not necessarily.

Bear with me for a second. We’re talking about Hawkins National Lab, a lab on a TV show about a fictional town with kids who have superpowers. We’re talking about the lab that developed NINA, the lab that developed Soteria. 1972 is just 13 years after Henward was stolen. That’s when it happened in real life. We’re in a fictional universe. IVF and egg preservation were dreamed up by Huxley in 1934 with the release of A Brave New World. Suspend your disbelief for a moment.

Could it happen? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Hell, Henward directly equates both himself and El with lab rats in Brenner’s eyes:

Rats -> Mice? Same difference.

All this to say…the science of it?

Henward’s monologue also uses scientific terminology associated with breeding programs:

In which backcrossing with parents is a common practice:

As is performance testing of offspring to determine the best new reproductive candidates.

Paired with the in-universe references…This is all within the realm of possibility.

[kovacs-of-courage]

Odd Company

There will be a day, that despite all of Legend’s groveling and pseudo frustration, in which he’ll come to terms with the odd quirks, and frankly bizarre habits of brothers.

Today was not that day.

They were deep within the bowels of a temple, what Legend assumed used to be a place of religious reverence. The crumbling statues, chiseled with their hands clasped together in prayer, which were placed around certain sigils of the golden goddesses gave him that guess, and the biblical-esque commandments that littered the floor. 

They’d decided to split up at the entrance, to cover more ground. The temple was built into the side of a mountain, its entrance made in the bust of a mighty warrior ages past, or maybe ages future?  Legend gave up on trying to tell what timezone they were the moment that Valor tried explaining to him the common history of his era. 

Once inside, Legend offered to handle the higher floors, which got a raised eyebrow from more than a few of his brothers. He typically liked to be in the front seat of whatever danger they might be facing, so the idea that he wanted to head topside, where there’d be less traps and less monsters, stuck out to them. Legend had his reasons, like how most of the locked doors and sealed chambers that these types of temples contained tended to be on lower levels, and the keys to access them tended to be located as far and as annoyingly away as the architects thought possible.

Before he’d gone up the stairs, Traveler volunteered to go with him, if only so he had someone to watch his back. 

Legend appreciated that.

What Legend did not appreciate, was what Traveler was doing now.

“Y’know I’ve heard people say that licking these things lets you commune with the gods, but you have to boil them first.”

Legend, arm deep in a rusty, dusted chest, froze for a moment, if to contemplate what in the golden realms was Traveler talking about. He sprung up from the chest, and turned to see Traveler holding--

Was that a frog?

A luminescent, red spotted frog was held in his friend’s hands. It glowed brighter and hotter than any lantern, Legend could feel the heat radiating off of it’s bumped, textured skin like it was coming from a campfire. He didn’t know how Traveler was holding it, visibly excited no less.

“Let’s not do that, and seco-wait, wait, who says this? Who are you talking about?” Legend asked, more confused than irritated.

Traveler made a pondering hum, thinking over his experiences. He put the frog under his armpit, much like how a student might carry their book bag, counting on both his hands.

“Well there was that old man selling potions outside North Castle, and he told me that right before Zel--Dawn had to detain him on charges of alchemy without a license. That was a shame too, because they were good potio-”. “Oh so the illegal chemist told you, and now licking random animals is fine.” Legend said, cutting him off.

“Don’t get on your high horse here, you catch bees as a hobby, beekeeper boy.” Traveler retorted. “Oh?!? And that’s weirder than the animal licking? Name one other person who says licking frogs is a thing you should do.” Legend exclaimed.

“Fine, I will! There was a pastor in Saria that had them as home medicine for common diseases, and they worked fine.” Traveler said. “So that's a weird pastor, and the illegal potion dealer- fantastic track record.” Legend said.

“So when you meet old men in caves and woods, what they say is “advice” and “tips”, but when I take advice from strangers, it’s bad?” Traveler inquired, a hand on his hip. At this point, Legend’s head was in hands, in disbelief he was having this argument. “Oh Nayr-YES, YES, because I don’t just go with every random hint I’m told! I think critically about it.”

Traveler shook his head, still holding the frog under his other arm, who was strangely content in watching them fight.

“Nope, no, nado pal. You told me that the magic powder in your pouch was from gathering mushrooms in lost woods for a witch, how is that any different from the potion seller, and the frog.” Traveler said.

“Well she didn’t get arrested for one.” Legend shot back.

“How is she going to get arrested if Ganon had driven the royal family, and the actual government, into hiding?” “That’s semantics!” Legend said, crossing his arms.

Traveler didn’t respond, as a set of stomping footfalls up the stairs at the room’s entrance grabbed their attention, they both readied their swords in an instant, preparing for whatever monster had come to check on the noise.

“What are you two TALKING ABOUT”

It wasn’t a monster, and for some reason, Legend wished it was.

Wind stood in the doorway, a scowl painted on his face. 

“We can hear you from the basement, you keep screwing up Twi and Wild’s timing on a puzzle.”

“We thought you two were in danger.”

Legend was unabashed, not turned away by Wind’s anger. He wasn’t leaving this without proving his point, so help him Din.

“Oh Traveler’s is going to be, REAL soon if he goes through with what he was doing.”

Wind whipped to face Traveler, and noticed the frog, and his expression changed to one of sudden realization.

“Oh were you going to lick that? You know you’re supposed to boil them first?” “For the LOVE O-”

[redeemingvillains]

the soul's brand (iv) - draco malfoy

pairing: draco malfoy x half-blood fem!reader

summary: hogwarts throws a ball that brings a heightened awareness to the feelings draco has for you.

word count: 4.2k

a/n: screaming and kicking my feet in the air for this chapter!

chapter three series masterlist

The staff and professors did a marvelous job trying to keep Hogwarts a safe haven and a welcome distraction, doing it as much for the students as for themselves. As the last breaths of autumn swirled frosty air on the grounds, they had the idea of having a ball. They knew that winter break would be here before long and that students would be returning home to face the real world; it would be a gift to give them a night of carefree fun.

The afternoon that Flitwick broke the news to your house, the common room erupted and Luna and your friends quickly dissolved into eager chatter about dates and dresses. You chimed in amiably. You were excited to have something to look forward to before returning home, but it was met with some anxiety about who you would go with. In your Fourth Year you had all decided to go to the Yule Ball as a group of friends, it seemed better that way, but you could tell that a lot had changed since then and your friends were now eager to go with a proper date, which meant you needed one too.

The excitement was so palpable around the ball that it didn’t take long for couples to start pairing off, everyone eager to find a suitable match and not to be left alone. Sure enough, within a couple of days, Cormac McLaggen pulled you aside on the way out of Ancient Runes. You knew him well enough from all of the Gryffindors you hung out with and the fact that he played quidditch with Ron and Harry. You had the same general group of friends but he had never pulled you aside to speak one on one like this before. You tried to shoot Hermione a ‘Help Me!’ look as she walked by but she simply smiled and shot you a thumbs up before abandoning you.

“Y/N” Cormac started, getting your attention as you smiled at him. “I was hoping you might do me the honor of being my date to the ball?”

Your mouth ran dry and your palms felt clammy. There was no reason to say no. He was perfectly lovely and honestly would probably make a great date, but part of you couldn’t bear to say yes. You were holding onto the tiniest thread, the smallest possibility that maybe a certain blonde Slytherin would ask you. His demeanor had certainly changed this term, and for once it didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility.

“Uhm, can I think about it?” you asked kindly.

“Certainly” he said, blushing slightly, whether out of embarrassment or something else you weren’t sure.

“I promise, I’ll let you know soon” you said, trying to lift his spirits.

“Thanks” he replied, smiling genuinely as he walked away.

Your friends begged you relentlessly to say yes. Cormac was a catch in their eyes and they were sure to remind you of his many attractive qualities over the next couple of days. Needing a break from it all, you snuck into the library, to your favorite quiet corner to read with sizable window seat and a view over the lake. You watched the snow fall gently, blanketing the world in white as you lay your head back, enjoying the solitude.

Draco had had the same idea, exhausted of Pansy pestering him about going together and his friends agonizing over every new couple. He sought solitude in the library when he saw you framed in the large window. The shimmer from the snow set your face in an angelic glow. You worried your bottom lip with your teeth, deep in thought and he couldn’t tear his gaze away from your lips, your long eyelashes that fluttered against your rosy cheeks, your hair, your everything. He realized too late his feet were moving towards you before his brain could register what he possibly had to say.

Movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention as Draco approached you, clearing his throat and holding up his book by way of excuse.

“Looks like we had the same idea" he said.

You smiled at that. Your shared love of reading used to be one of your favorite things about him. You tucked your feet under you to make room for him on the window seat and he sat facing you, but glancing out the window.

“This ball is driving me insane” he said after a moment’s silence. Your heart skipped a beat at his chosen topic of conversation.

“Mm, yeah” you said, laughing quietly. “Everyone’s lost their head… it feels so complicated.”

“Right?” he replied genuinely. “Like it should be so much easier to just pick a date and have a good time.”

You laughed at that again and he turned to face you, meeting your eyes. Your knees were inches from his, and this was probably the longest time you’d spent in such close contact with him, your body humming and tingling in response. Your heart was beating so fast and so hard you were sure he could see it through your sweater and you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, nervous under his gaze.

“Y/N” he said then, leaning forward, placing a hand on your knee. You could feel his warmth through your leggings. Was this really happening?

“Just – try to have a good time. Don’t let it get to your head. Don’t let anyone ruin it for you. I’m sure there are loads of good blokes lined up to take you. Just, have as much fun as you can.”

He looked like he was trying to say something more between his words that you couldn’t pick up on. His eyes flitted imperceptibly to your lips before he quickly pulled away, righting his suit jacket and wandering back towards a darker corner of the library.

It was the best he could do. It was the most he could say without saying it all. Have as much fun as you can because next term, I am going to do something so unforgivable that neither you nor the rest of the world will look at me the same way again.

This was the beginning of the end, and you deserved so much better than the reality that was coming for you.

You felt like an idiot for thinking for even a second that Draco Malfoy would be seen with you, a half-blood, on his arm in any public function, anywhere. History be damned, nothing changed. Later that afternoon, you let Cormac know you would go with him and he hugged you genuinely, the joy clear on his face. By the time word of your coupling reached the Slytherin common room, Draco had resigned himself to going with Pansy, but that didn’t mean the news didn’t cut like a knife in his gut. Cormac was a good guy and a good quidditch player if not a little full of himself. Draco should be happy for you. But all he wanted to do was pout and scowl, which he did with practiced ease.

As the ball approached, the deep, overwhelming sadness and embarrassment you had felt at your dashed hopes of a date with Draco simmered. It simmered and it grew from pain into white-hot anger.

Draco didn’t want to go with you? He didn’t want to be seen with a “mudblood”? Fine. You would go with Cormac and you would make Draco regret every waking moment of it. Your newfound anger and bitterness felt good, felt like you were in control and could wield the power for once instead of being helpless, always on the receiving end of disappointment. Fragile. The victim. Hermione picked up on your change in demeanor, happy at first that you seemed excited to go with Cormac, to shop for a dress and new shoes, but realizing perhaps a little too late what it was all about.

You picked out the perfect dress, a deep emerald, Draco’s favorite. It was floor-length with an open back and a steep thigh-high slit up the side that gave a tantalizing view of your long legs. You paired it with three-inch heels, thanking Merlin that Cormac would be tall enough to accompany you in them. You teased your hair so it fell in luscious waves over your shoulder and spent more than twice as long as you ever had putting the finishing touches on your makeup. The end result was stunning. You were going to bring this boy to his knees.

Your friends gushed over your outfit, your hair, your makeup, chiming in on what a lucky guy Cormac would be, thinking that all the extra effort was for him. Hermione simply gave you a knowing look, not judging, just noticing as she pressed a friendly kiss to your cheek as you met up in the hallway.

“Absolutely stunning” she said.

When you met up with Cormac outside of the Great Hall, he immediately flushed red from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and you worried for a moment that you may have pushed it a little too far. For someone always so sure of himself, he stumbled clumsily over his words.

“Y-you l-look lovely, Y/N, stunning, really. I-Wow. We make a good pair” he said, recovering nicely. And he wasn’t the only one who thought so as a sea of whispers and murmurs followed your entrance into the hall.

Draco heard you before he saw you. That is, he heard the murmurs in the crowd and Blaise say beside him “Merlin’s Beard would you look at McLaggen and Y/N, she is on fire tonight boys.”

Draco turned to take you in and nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.

‘On fire’ didn’t even scratch the surface.

Your thick lashes were set against eye makeup that made your eyes pop, your cheeks were pink with excitement and your lips were shiny and glossed. Your hair was pillowed in soft waves and you were in a tight-fitting dress with a ridiculous slit down the front revealing your bare legs. My color he thought to himself absently as he reveled in the way the emerald green sat on your skin like pure perfection. He simultaneously wanted to cover you with his jacket and pull you back to his dormitory. He watched you like a man bewitched, unaware that he was open-mouthed staring until Pansy slapped his arm and tugged him onto the dance floor, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing herself into him.

You were making the best of the situation at hand, trying to focus on Cormac and getting through the night. He was a perfectly acceptable date, but from the moment you entered the Great Hall you could feel a pair of grey eyes on you like a hex on the back of your neck. You hoped your plan was working. Draco looked so handsome in his new all-black suit that you felt a physical ache in your body, like it was rejecting the distance between you.

After several dances, you managed to steal a glance between the moving bodies and felt a burning in your throat and behind your eyes as you saw Draco’s attention was monopolized by the woman in his arms. Pansy was pressing herself against him, in an emerald dress of her own, leaving almost no space between them, nearly nose to nose. And that is when you finally realized, finally accepted that this was a lost cause. That no amount of makeup, curled hair, high heels or green dresses was going to change a thing. You willed yourself not to cry even as you felt the tears in your eyes. How could you be so stupid?

He tried to focus, to avoid being utterly rude to his date but the picture of you was seared in his mind like the bright flash of a camera that left black spots in his vision.

You, in emerald green.

Did she do that on purpose? he thought. He stole glances between moving bodies as McLaggen led you onto the dance floor, he watched as your eyes traced his face, as his hands glided down your back over your bare skin.

Pansy pulled herself closer to him and he suddenly felt hot and stuffy, his suit and perfectly knotted tie like a straightjacket and a chokehold. He tugged at his collar, his mind racing. McLaggen. What right did he have? What made him such a good date? Did he know that your favorite color was blue? That you were afraid of thunder and lightning? That the first time you tried to ride a bike, you fell and skinned your knee? Of course not. He didn’t know any of that. But Draco did. He was the one that learned the charm to turn the white daisies in the field blue for you, he was the one that hugged you the morning after a thunder storm, reassuring you that it would be okay, he was the one that conjured bubbles that sang when they popped after you fell off your bike to make you laugh. He did. She should be with me he thought suddenly.

You realized too late that you wouldn’t be able to control your emotions. Hoping to save your dignity, you whispered curtly “I’m so sorry, Cormac, would you excuse me?” and holding yourself up by the very last thread of strength you had, you walked quickly and purposefully off the dance floor, towards the doorway, fighting every urge to run.

She should be with me, Draco thought, but as he lifted his head to find you, you were gone. Cormac stood alone on the dance floor looking dumfounded and Draco followed his line of sight to the door just as you pushed past several people to make it through the entrance. Draco quickly stepped away amidst frustrated cries from Pansy and let his feet follow you without hesitation, dipping in and out of the crowd unseen. He burst into the hallway, caught the slightest glimpse of you taking off around a corner and hurried after you.

You let your feet carry you without thinking, seeking solitude and a place to think. So many people littered the castle in the throes of the party that you resigned yourself to a hallway open to the outdoors that aligned one of the courtyards, the biting wind and snow flurries enough to scare people away and wake you up. You let out a shaky breath that puffed in front of you, frantically wiping the tears that poured unwillingly from your eyes, desperate to save your makeup, your strength, this night.

You were exasperated when you heard the door open and close behind you, wondering who would be crazy enough to be outside too and you turned just as a head of bright blonde hair came around the corner. No. You thought to yourself. Please, anyone but him. Not now. You sucked in a deep breath, straightening up.

“Draco?” you called, arms crossed against your body in frustration and cold. “What are you doing out here?”

“Looking for you” he said simply, as surprised to hear the truth coming from his own lips as you looked to hear it. “I saw McLaggen… saw you leave…I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Your cheeks flushed at the idea that anyone had seen that play out, least of all Draco.

“Well, I’m fine. Just wanted some fresh air is all. You can go back to the ball, back to Pansy” you said, trying not to sound bitter and jealous and failing miserably.

He was quiet for a moment. “You’re doing me a favor, really. I think I’m better off out here. I haven’t been the best date.”

You looked up at him, doubt etched on your face, still angry but admittedly curious.

“I have a very hard time believing that, Draco” you replied, gesturing at his overall put-togetheredness, his suit, his perfect hair, his everything.

“I don’t think my company was the problem as much as the fact that she could tell hers wasn’t what I wanted.” He walked closer to you and saw your chin quivering, which he thought was from the cold until he saw a few tears escape down the side of your face. You wiped furiously at them as they dripped unrelenting, a dam of pressure building up behind your eyes that was threatening to break. He reached out slowly and brushed the pad of his thumb against your cheek, no longer thinking about what he was doing or the consequences, just wanting to touch you, to make you feel better, like he used to.

“You look breathtakingly beautiful” he said quietly. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. That dress… that color… it suits you.”

“Draco” you whispered, a plea, a prayer, a question with a thousand more behind it.

He tried to come up with the words to say, an explanation to make it all make sense, to verbalize how he felt, how he had felt for years, what was going through his mind, how you had begun to eclipse his every thought and he could only come up with one way to answer you. He ran his fingers down your jaw, his presence now overbearingly close, his cologne overtaking you. He tilted your chin up gently to face him and his lips ghosted over yours, touching them only slightly, barely. Your breathing was erratic, causing your chest to visibly rise and fall, straining against him. He wasn’t teasing you so much as he was letting the moment last as long as he could bear it, relishing in it, never wanting it to end but so desperately seeking the release on the other side. In the end, it was you that relented, pressing forward slightly to close the distance.

At first, he kissed you like you would break, so tender, so gently, so soft. It was such a stark contrast to his entire aura, his entire being, his tough exterior, that your brain could hardly comprehend it. His hand cupped the side of your face, pulling you toward him and every inch of your body met his, your arms finally unfurling to wrap around his neck. The feeling of you pressed against him broke the last ounce control he was struggling to hold onto as his tongue traced your bottom lip, opening you up to him. He tasted like champagne and your head was dizzy as he walked you backwards, lips never leaving yours, pressing you gently into the stone wall behind you; the cool brick contrasting with his warm body caging you in. Your tongues tangled as your fingers wrapped into the hair at the base of his neck, eliciting a groan deep in his chest that curled your toes as you pulled him into you, impossibly closer.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours that you lost yourselves in each other when the sounds of footsteps and shouts down a nearby hall snapped you both back to reality. As you pulled back reluctantly, you took in the look in his eyes, desire etched in them in the way they were eclipsed by his dark pupils. He had an uncanny blush on his porcelain skin and he ran a thumb over his lips, now swollen with your kisses. He glanced briefly down the corridor, then back at you, smirking mischievously before you both broke into a fit of comfortable laughter that reminded you of the way things used to be.

He rested his forehead against yours, his fingers reaching to tangle in your own. He tried to hold onto the moment, but it was like floo powder slipping through his fingers. He was being unimaginably selfish. He couldn’t do this with you.

Always so attuned to him, you noticed the change in his demeanor almost immediately.

“Draco” you whispered, trying to call him back to you. Don’t do this you thought desperately. Don’t you pull away from me. He looked at you, the grey smoke back in his eyes that screamed of frustration, of pain and of guilt.

“I-I can’t do this” he said finally, pulling back, letting your hand fall to your side.

“What do you mean?” you said, wanting to kick yourself for how desperate you sounded. That same tone in your voice nearly brought Draco to his knees. He was hurting you all over again, just like he did on the train platform in your first year when he didn’t hug you back.

“I’m sorry” he said, turning to walk away.

Only this time, you weren’t going to let him.

“No” you said sternly, stepping after him, grasping his wrist in your hand and pulling him back to face you and frantically pressing your lips to his again. You knew he felt something and you were desperate to make him confront it. His resolve weakened as he took you in his arms again. He could turn away from a hug when he was eleven, he couldn’t turn away from this as he grasped your face, kissing you back earnestly. You pulled away.

“You don’t get to do that to me anymore. Please. Talk to me, Draco. Don’t pull away from me again. Whatever it is, whatever this is, we can figure it out. I’m here for you, I’m always here for you.”

“That’s the problem” he said, stepping back slightly, his voice rising.

You looked at him, baffled, as he continued, “You’re here for me, but I can’t be there for you. I’m not good for you, Y/N. This isn’t safe. I’m… dangerous. To everyone, but especially to you.”

“I’m the one who gets to decide that for myself” you said strongly. "I’m tired of this world feeding us a narrative of fear, of living in constant anxiety about what’s around every corner, about who we can and cannot trust. I’m done fighting it. I’ve known you for more than five years, Draco, and even when every other person tells me that I should be afraid of you, even when you tell me I should be afraid of you, I know in my heart I have nothing to fear. You would never hurt me.”

“But other people will. People… I’m associated with…” his voice dropped to barely a whisper as pain wracked his face. “…My parents…” he said finally.

“You are not your parents, Draco. You never have been.”

His face scrunched in anguish at that, his head falling at words he had never allowed himself to believe. You had managed to see right through him, to the very center of his guilt and shame.

“I’ve changed” he tried to argue further, “I’m not the little boy you used to know.”

“Good” you said resolutely, and he lifted his head at that. “He never wanted to share his pumpkin pasties with me anyway.”

He let out a quiet, unexpected laugh and wiped at the tears brimming his eyes with his sleeve. You tugged him forward and looped your arms around his neck, and he return the hug, the tension leaving his body in your embrace as you nuzzled into his neck. It was the first time in months he felt calm as you rubbed circles in his back, your perfume covering him like a blanket.

“You can’t be seen with me” he said quietly. “I don’t want to walk away from you but I don’t know how to keep you safe, and you unequivocally cannot be seen with me.”

“We’ll figure something out” you whispered, your breath hot against his neck. “Just, no more pulling away from me. We find a way to see each other, every day, in the middle of the night if we have to, and we tell each other everything” you felt him tense at that as he pulled away to look at you.

“There’s so much you don’t know…” he started, his forearm writhing like it knew he was talking about the mark on his arm.

“And we have plenty of time to catch up” you said resolutely.

No, we don’t, he thought, until you strained on your tiptoes to press your lips against his gently.

After some time, you adjusted your lipstick, your hair and your dress, as Draco shot you a wink loving just how disheveled you looked from his lips and his wandering hands before pressing a kiss to your cheek and heading back to the ball. You followed a few minutes later and found Cormac, apologizing profusely to him, and letting him know straight out that you were only interested in a platonic relationship. He was clearly disappointed and slightly confused but took it in stride and you spent the rest of the night with your friends. Hermione shot you daggers across the table, perhaps the only person to have registered your swift exit and the boy that ran after you.

That night you told her everything in silent whispers outside of your common room. She was undeniably shocked, gasping and covering her mouth when you revealed that Draco had kissed you… multiple times. But she remained ever the steadfast friend, hugging you warmly, expressing her excitement for you but not without a look of cautious pity that said Merlin please make sure this girl doesn’t do anything more extremely stupid than she’s already done...

chapter five series masterlist

taglist: @moiravim

[shiftingdiariesofophelia]

I see people saying you can't teach a character that's fictional in this reality to shift here. Is that true? Like I wouldn't be able to go to a marvel dr and teach Thor to shift to this reality. Is this true?

Well- see, it’s complicated. (sorry.)

So- shifting realities. Your current reality/the sort of “timeline” that this one is in is theoretically constantly changing. However, it is always cohesively changing. Small changes occur and create branching realities. But our universe, or infinite set of universes this current version of reality resides in, has pre-established rules within the realms of what’s possible. We shift all the time. But only to places our subconscious seems “possible,” aka a set of i fire universes that will always follow the same rules and where we live the same lives.

So- for example, humans will not miraculously be able to fly tomorrow in this current reality. Because this universe has laws of physics that prevent that. But, an entirely different reality within a different set of universes- humans flying is already possible.

Our consciousness knows familiarity and typically only shifts us to adjacent realities with minor, insignificant changes every moment. Giving the appearance that we’ve never left our “original” reality. Taking us to reality after reality where it feels as though nothing has ever changed. Because that’s what the human consciousness does.

But the act of Shifting is changing the rules in a sense. Reaching out to farther, much different realities than our own, and connecting to our consciousness there.

So, could you bring Thor back to “this” reality, for example? No. Because he does not exist in this reality. There’s a common misconception that infinite reality = every reality. There are infinite realities where Thor exists. But this does not make up EVERY reality, including our own concurrent adjacent stretch of realities. He exists an infinite amount of times, but he is not everywhere, if that makes sense. The whole idea of infinity is truly too hard for us humans to comprehend.

YOU do not exist in EVERY reality. But you DO exist in INFINITE realities. Because there are, literally, infinite realities. There is no cap, no end. You might not exist in one specific one- but you exist in infinite others.

But- you could in theory teach Thor to shift to a similar adjacent reality that’s exactly the same as this one, one where he just simply does exist. It will not be your “original reality” by any means, since you’ve gone and “scripted” him into the reality. But it will have the same people, same problems, and will be extremely similar to how you perceive this one.

Shifting as far as infinite reality theory goes is very, VERY complicated to explain. Basically- anything is possible in the infinite, but not everything is possible in every instance. I’m sorry if this is more confusing than informational. I’m really trying here lol.