#i feel like my soul is dead
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I think the reason I can't create anymore is because it feels pointless, on some level.
Deep down, my creative urge always was an urge to be loved. A desire to be redeemed, to be made palatable to others, to become worthy of love by grace of a thing I made being "good enough".
And... I guess I know now that won't happen.
I gave my all last year. I did probably the best work of my entire life.
And it wasn't good enough.
It wasn't enough to make someone care about me. It did not prevent being rejected and cast aside. It did not redeem me.
What could possibly motivate me to create anymore, in the face of that?
#i miss creating#i miss writing#i miss it so much#i feel like my soul is dead#idk#i understand now why youd wish ill on someone who wronged you#it feels unspeakably cruel that they are fine#they murdered your soul and they are happy and healthy and thriving#it is the worst injustice#disaster thoughts#vent post#creative block#writers block#writeblr#breakup#friendship breakup
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Can't Draw Him Anymore










Oh look, my sketching pencils are blue and orange. Wonder what that makes me think of?
#rottmnt#tmnt#fanart#rottmnt fanart#tmnt fanart#I had this idea because I was trying to draw my mother a little while back#and I drew a complete blank#like what on earth does she look like#I've looked at her almost every day of my life and I still can't picture her face?#It was a messed up feeling#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#traditional art#future leo#future mikey#rottmnt movie#tmnt leonardo#tmnt michelangelo#angst for the soul#first fanart of these guys and it's when two of them are dead#adding that crack to the wall mural was an artistic mistake that will haunt me
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I don't see enough of them.
#LoopOdile for the soul#drawing this gave me joy all the way through and I hope it gives you a happy feeling too! :3#I love the idea of Odile being enamored with this random sassy person she reads with at this little bookstore they work at#that looks suspiciously like her friend siffrin but really fuckin tired and has the most interesting body she's ever seen in her life#and also GLOWS#but talk shit or gossip casually#just absolutely love struck by how crass and sassy they are about things#she canonically likes ppl she finds annoying/angering#loop is probably BOTH of those things#and you couldn't pry any of that from my cold dead hands#yes I did do a full background in the window that was covered up by loop what of it#isat fanart#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat odile#loopdile#bunnymadeofstardust post!!
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Lan Wangji will suffer the worst case of the knee deep in the passenger seat Casual™ to ever plague a queer man. I just know it. He will be at his wedding ceremony with his dumbfuck necromancer beloved and the mf will still giggle about like they're just best budz in on some crazy tax evasion scheme.
#he is his personal bodyguard. defense lawyer. ghost hunting partner. his walking and sometimes talking unlimited credit card.#he looked that guy dead in the eye and with crystal clear emphasis told him he was HIS and it didn't register#i'm only like 30 pages into book 2 so don't tell me specifics but i feel it in my soul this will be an ongoing trend#wwx is in the ninth circle of comphet hell and i wish him a safe journey upward <3#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#the untamed#mxtx#lan wangji#lan zhan#wei wuxian#wangxian
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I realized that no one has ever asked a Rulie doodle request if I remember well, and felt quite bad for the poor guy. Look at him, he's begging you to make him do something silly on a drawing
#don't feel bad Rulie#it's okay to feel a little like a loser sometimes#it be like that sometimes#but it's okay#you'll forget and continue with your day#he may look a little messy here#I did this a bit quick sorry#also I'm sorry for being slow#I started classes today and they will definitely take a lot of time and my soul from now on#so I'll be just a little dead these months#literally#until june#:'^)#I just started today and I'm already scared#it's so easy to fail#but please don't think I'm ignoring your requests#I see all of them#I get so happy everytime I see a new request#I'll just be a little slower and late#so thanks for your time and patience for asking and interacting with my doodles <3#lu hyrule#my art#and a little of vent#ngl
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Flighty I'm sorry to say but you've picked the worst social to post a nuanced and openly violent comic. Tumblr users do not understand horror or themes or anything beyond what's been shown to them on the page. Reading comprehension is at an all time low and all the low gathers here to complain that something bad or nuanced happened in a story and then demand that the artist and writer personally explain or change aspects of the story for their sake or because it " makes them feel bad "
Also should take the time to remind everyone that not everything is cattered directly to you abd that's not a bad thing or a moral failing on the writers part. Good lord.
I'm sure that not everyone on this website is Like That. Tumblr's made up of a LOT of people after all! Trust me when I say, in my experience, of the four platforms I've posted this comic on (Tumblr, Comicfury, Twitter [though not anymore] & Bluesky), Tumblr folks have actually been the MOST thoughtful (and patient) out of all of them.
Now, that said, yeah, on occasion I've gotten a few stinkers in my inbox. That's okay. The fellas that have made me smile on here have far outweighed the entitled weirdos.
I trust that, despite this comic not being for everyone, and how a few loud people are gonna get mad about it, overall Infested will be enjoyed plenty. I'm just happy this comic got any readers at all. I used to get no readers whatsoever. THAT was the true hell of being a comic creator on Tumblr.
#asks#Anonymous#ever since people started reading Infested I felt a weight on my soul kinda just lift#I used to think my spiraling and explosive failure as a cartoonist was inevitable. It was a big part of why I was --#-- REALLY feeling my depression.#any day I'll take one or two obnoxious pearl-clutchers and media-illiterates over the frightening wind-whistling deadness of posting#to a crowd of nobody. My career choice has loomed over me like a dark shadow LONG enough.
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Maximus Decimus Meridius Headcanons: Expressions of Love

The thing about Maximus is that, once he is in love with you, everything he does becomes an expression of love.
He has always been a keen observer, and he puts those skills to good use in his relationship with you. Anytime you are sad or frustrated or uncertain, he always is able to sense those emotions without you having to tell him.
...and while he isn't the type for grand gestures, he will always find a way to reassure you. A subtle squeeze of your hand, if you're in a public place. An embrace that lasts longer than usual. Some soft words of encouragement.
...AND just because he's not the type for grand public gestures, that doesn't mean he's not a romantic down to the depths of his bones. This man absolutely lives to bring you flowers, gift you the finest horses he can find, carve special figures for you out of wood. Nothing brings him greater joy than not only being able to give you something, but being able to make it with his own hands and think of you while he's making it.
Also kisses. So many kisses.
Kisses on your cheek, on your lips, on your forehead, your hands, your arms, your legs, your chest, your neck, every last inch of you. Gentle kisses, passionate kisses, languid kisses, intense kisses, emotional kisses, sleepy kisses... it just never ends with him.
He loves sharing his interests with you, as well. Reading is one of his favorite pastimes, and many evenings are spent curled up with him beside the fire or in bed, listening to him read aloud. Riding horses and tending crops also takes up a great deal of his time, and he loves for you to work alongside him so you can spend time together.
And he will look for so many opportunities to spend time with you. Going for a midnight swim together. Cooking a meal together. Taking an early-morning walk. Sharing a bath. Even just doing repairs around your home together. Anything is an opportunity.
While he is usually a very stoic and serious person, one of his primary expressions of love is the way he smiles and laughs when he's with you. It's as if he can't keep himself from grinning when he's watching you — you just bring him so much joy, he can't keep it contained inside.
Even if is far away from you for many months at a time, he finds himself whispering prayers to the gods to keep you safe, to not let him forget your smiling face, to bring you back together soon.
And when he returns home to you, it's with such joy, because his whole life has become an expression of love to you. If Maximus is in love with you, you will never have the slightest reason to doubt his love.
...and of course a few slightly nsfw ones, because I can't help it :D
There is no sex with Maximus that does not involve an untold amount of kissing, caressing, and outpourings of affection. Every time he takes you in his arms, it's because he wants to demonstrate his love for you, and he always does exactly that.
Having him go down on you isn't something you even have to ask for — he does it of his own volition. More nights than not are spent with him kneeling between your legs, coaxing the sweetest sounds from you.
Nothing pleases him more than knowing that you trust him and that he satisfies you as no one else can. Hearing you moan his name is like an aphrodisiac.
He always keeps his eyes open when you make love. He wants to study your expressions, look deep in your eyes while you're sharing that time together.
And when you're both finished and so spent you can't even move, he always takes the time to gather you up in his arms, kiss your face gently, and whisper how much he loves you before you both drift off to sleep in each other's embrace.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
More of my fanfiction if you are so inclined :)
#hi everyone my name is YEARNING#the love i have for this man. beyond human comprehension#this is a fraction!!! a mere glimpse of the things that are always going on in my brain#i can't even take how perfect he is#i need him. sooooo much#writing fanfiction isn't enough i need to shower him with all the love and affection he deserves#and he deserves it ALL#if no one else will give it to him i will#if maximus has one fan it's me#if maximus has zero fans then i am dead#i poured my heart and soul into these because!!! i feel like! i share his soul!!#kind of you know how it is#i've spent so much time obsessing over him that sometimes i feel like he's real and i know him#i know i don't and that's delusion BUT consider this#i enjoy it very much#maximus i would cross oceans of time and space and reality to be with you#they will not keep us apart forever my love#headcanons#gladiator#russell crowe#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#fanfiction#gladiator fanfiction#maximus x reader#maximus decimus meridius x reader#my fanfiction
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Life and Death
Demon!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Angel!Reader

wc: 0.3 K summary: You and Simon work together. He brings dead souls to you, you give them a new life. A constant cycle of life and death. But what happens if an angel loses its wing? warnings: angst/no comfort, no y/n used, religious themes, graphic descriptions a/n: got this idea on a random wednesday from a random picture I saw and here it is. Keep in mind, this is just a concept idea for now. Enjoy!!




Rosy blood mixes up at the shore near you. The usual, crystal-clear sand is getting dirty from your mess. A mess you can‘t control.
Your once clean and peaceful working area turned upside down; clouds dark with a hard stench of iron and stark wind.
Finally, you manage to catch your breath, only able to hear your shallow and slow breaths that are painful to intake. The once favoured place of yours got destroyed after one mistake. The dead souls you give a new life to are supposed to never sin once they return to earth.
The demon you work with hasn‘t visited you yet. But you find yourself wishing he‘d be here. Your wing, that got ripped off without batting an eye, still lays somewhere around your area. The once white feathers now a dirty grey with hints of blood droplets. You skin at your back, once clean and smooth, now decorated with a large scar where your right wing once was.
It feels like it stopped bleeding; not sure if that‘s a good sign or not.
A soft sound of someone walking through sand interrupts your racing thoughts, making you flinch. You turn your body around with effort, hissing when your back muscles flex and tense from the movement.
Ghost, already weary of the situation, stops in his tracks, taking in the scene before him again. And again, he tries to process the pure gore he sees before him. Your eyes wide, scared; face falling into shadows, destroying your once innocent appearance.
Tucking away the dead soul he carries in a small sack of pearls, he strides over, hopeful he isn‘t too late.
You feel his strong hand cup your face, falling into his touch suddenly. Everything feels heavy and unfamiliar, taking every muscle and vein to stay awake. Maybe the blood that flowed from your back was too much. Maybe you are finally dying again. And your trusted demon has to take your soul instead of watching your hands form another life for someone else.

←MASTERLIST
#drabble#ghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#simon riley#x reader#gn!reader#angst#angst fic#angst that makes my own eyes water#cod#call of duty#drabble idea#concept#concept idea#demon!ghost#i don't even know if he is a demon#“what's your job?”#“i collect dead souls for no reason.”#i also like to imagine that these two are secret lovers but every god knows#they just don't want them to feel watched
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What astounds me about the whole "you need a pure human SOUL to perfect the serum" thing is that so many people take Chujin's conclusion at face value. Chujin Ketsukane? Chujin "Winner of the 'You Tried In Engineering' Award" Ketsukane? Chujin "Fumbled Inventing Robots So Hard He Earned The Ire Of The Usually Pretty Chill King" Ketsukane? Chujin "I Accidentally Killed A Human Child By Overshooting The Parameters On My Guard Robot" Ketsukane? That Chujin Ketsukane?
#undertale yellow#get reaaaaal.#get so reaaaaaaaal.#i know that people make his conclusion correct because they wanna bring Kanako back (even though she's not actually dead)#or something along those lines to make Ceroba's whole tunnel visioned scheme all feel worth it in the end#(even though her whole arc is about not being so caught up in the past and reaching out to the people around her)#but it doesn't feel right to me that the serum would work. it feels more like the point is that this whole affair was a harebrained#scheme cooked up by a paranoid and desperate man.#believe what you wanna believe but personally i don't think being pure of heart would've been the answer. i don't think#there's any way for a miracle serum to be conjured up like that.#also SOUL stuff has been shown to be more complicated than most people think. alphys thought that injecting determination#into Fallen Down monsters would make their SOULs persist after death and they ended up waking up then fusing into Amalgamates#tldr: i *personally* think that even if Ceroba got Clover's SOUL the serum still wouldn't have worked.#(edit: I'm not vagueing anyone btw. I've had this post in my drafts (along with a lot of other thoughts to spare everyone the spam)#again. think what you wanna think. these are just my thoughts.)#uty analysis#char: chujin ketsukane
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So we know that Wei Wuxian's treatment after his death was horrible. Even if nothing could impact him directly, there was still neverending slander, hatred, misinformation, theft...
But, for a while after he died, the sects did try to impact him directly – namely, frequently trying to resummon his soul. And today I'll explore the possible reasons for this, their likelihoods, and why I'm so, so thankful that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the summons. Because, spoiler alert (or, you know. maybe not)... none of them are good.
(Long meta ahead)
In my opinion, there are four likely motivations for this: confinement, coercion, torment, and potentially destruction.
Out of all of these, confinement is probably the most likely motivation, at least for most sects (Jins and Jiangs excluded, though it was likely what the Jin sect said their motivations were – but I'll get to them later). This one is the most simple – we know spirit-trapping pouches exist, and we know the sects also placed 120 stone beasts on the Burial Mounds to prevent Wei Wuxian's soul from escaping. Therefore, this seems to be the most likely motivation – and fortunately for Wei Wuxian, probably also the best case scenario, though it still certainly isn't a good one.
For the second, coercion – this is where the Jin sect come in (more specifically Jin Guangshan with the help of Jin Guangyao). Due to their wealth and resources, they're likely the sect who played the largest role in the soul-summoning rituals. We know what they're willing to do to try to gain power – keeping Wen Ning under the pretence he was burned to death and trying to control him with the nails, and working with and helping Xue Yang torture people to help him refine his demonic cultivation, in order to have the Yin hufu fixed. Along with working with many other cultivators, alongside Xue Yang – Jin Guangshan really, really wanted that seal.
And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources and these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
(Note that working with these cultivators very likely happened after Wei Wuxian's soul had failed to be summoned, since this happens some time after Wei Wuxian's death, whereas the soul-summoning ceromonies presumably started happening very close to it.)
In the previous paragraph, he's also quoted as having 'lusted after' the Yin hufu, which we already knew but it's nice to have a direct quote as evidence.
Now, would Wei WuXian willingly work with the Jin sect in doing this? No. We know that, and, given Wei Wuxian's actions in his first life (refusing to hand over the Tally, not being afraid to stand up to the sects, etc), I’m pretty sure Jin Guangshan knows that, too:
He beat around the bush a couple of times, using all his skills, yet Wei WuXian didn’t give in no matter what, and it made him run into a bunch of obstacles. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR
So this could actually make things go two ways. One, I'm wrong and that wasn't actually part of the Jin sect's motivations, since they know they wouldn't be able to control him (and in that case, had they managed to summon him, I could imagine them putting him in a spirit-trapping pouch and doing something similar to what Jin Guangyao did to Nie Mingjue's head. Which, also, not good). Two, it was a part of their motivations, and they hoped to find a way around that. After all, there are other guidao users out there now, and Wei Wuxian would now be a gui*. Also, cultivators can obviously harm ghosts – see the very existence of Night Hunts, and I'd include Xue Yang's talisman-caused destruction of A-Qing as well (while he isn't a traditional cultivator, talismans can be used by everyone).
Now, would either of these methods actually work? I'm inclined to think not really (and I expand on the former method in a note below). Would that stop Jin Guangshan/Jin Guangyao/the cultivators they employ from trying? Especially considering Jin Guangshan's lust for power?
I'm inclined to think no, too.
For the third, look no further than Jiang Cheng's reputation of capturing and torturing demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death, due to thinking they could be him. And this does happen – Jin Ling knows and talks about it, and there's not real motivation for him to negatively lie about someone he loves. Also, when they come across each other at Dafan Mountain, we're told this in Jiang Cheng's inner voice:
A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. - MDZS Chapter 10, EXR translation
This mainly shows that he's tortured people before, rather than that he's tortured people because he thinks they're Wei Wuxian, but this reason is confirmed by Jin Ling in Chapter 24. Of course, the reason is also mentioned in this chapter, and there are other moments in the chapter that illustrate my point better**, but they come from second-hand sources which I know are easier to deny. Do take note of Jiang Cheng's expression both times he comes across 'Mo Xuanyu' (after he suspects he's Wei Wuxian) in Book One***, though:
After a moment, the corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand started to unconsciously stroke the ring [Zidian] again. He spoke softly, “… Well, well. So you’re back?” - Chapter 10, EXR Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy. - Chapter 23, EXR
This does seem to line up with what people say his attitude to Wei Wuxian is – there doesn't seem to be any happiness at seeing him again at all. The only time a word that could suggest that ('ecstasy') is used, it's accompanied by 'raving', and considering the context and the other possibilities of his expression, it's... probably not due to happiness at being reunited.
So, considering 1) this, 2) his contribution to the Siege specifically intended to kill Wei Wuxian, and 3) that at the time of frequent soul-summoning Jiang Yanli's death would be even closer for him, I feel pretty confident in saying that yes, this is likely a motivation for the Jiang sect in trying to re-summon Wei Wuxian's soul after his death. And, as mentioned earlier, cultivators can harm ghosts (and we know Zidian is able to remove souls posessing a body from that body, and that Jiang Cheng used Zidian on 'Mo Xuanyu' in Chapter 10. If it wasn't able to restrain/harm ghosts, or other methods weren't able to, why would he risk Wei Wuxian's soul escaping?).
And finally, option four: destruction. We're heading into much more speculative territory here, so don't consider this on par with the first three. But consider this:
We know there are some spells, like Xue Yang's talisman used on A-Qing and the body-offering ritual, that can ruin the returning soul’s reincarnation cycle by destroying it. Therefore, soul destruction is possible.
The 'main'/supposed reason for summoning Wei Wuxian's soul back is to stop the "cultivation world, or even all of mortal land" from being "faced with the most insane damnation and revenge, sinking into nothing but chaos and despair" when Wei Wuxian inevitably returns. While, as mentioned above, I severely doubt this is the motivation for certain sects – and to me is likely a rumour which the Jins (again, especially Jin Guangsha) fanned the flames of to justify summoning Wei Wuxian back for their own purposes**** – there are other sects which would take it more seriously.
Although likely disrespectful, people already thought it served Wei Wuxian right to die without his body intact by the time of the second siege – something believed to negatively affect your reincarnation in your next life*****. This is only the logical next step, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people would believe that, again, it would serve Wei Wuxian right, or would at least lead to less harm of the world in the long run.
For these reasons, I could definitely see this as an option for some sects, especially the sects who consider themselves more 'righteous' (cough cough the Nies under Nie Mingjue cough cough). After all, evil is evil and good is good, and the evil deserve what's coming to them. And what better way to prevent that than from preventing his soul from returning at all? So for the Nie sect – and likely some of the smaller sects involved in the Siege, since among them, additudes probably vary – yes, I do think it could be a motivation.
I’m not as sure about the Lans being willing to go this far, and that’s largely for two reasons. One, Lan Wangji’s presence and his relationship to Lan Xichen, who does (not always, but he does) let this affect how he treats Wei Wuxian. An example of this is that, when Wei Wuxian's return is made public, Lan Xichen does let him hide and shelter at the Cloud Recesses instead of trying to pursue him, likely majorly due to Lan Wangji. I'd argue that the aftermath of the Nightless City also acts as an example of this, although it definitely isn't perfect. But though he, Lan Qiren and the 33 elders do come to find Lan Wangji and do not let him continue to shelter Wei Wuxian (after they see Lan Wangji's feelings), Lan Xichen doesn't use this opportunity to kill/capture Wei Wuxian, despite Lan Wangji being in a worse condition due to having fought 33 elders, Wei Wuxian being catatonic, and Lan Qiren likely supporting this outcome (especially considering he was the one who led the Lan sect in the Siege – chapter 68, Wei Wuxian's POV). And he did let Lan Wangji take Wei Wuxian back to the Burial Mounds after:
After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! - Chapter 99, EXR
Again, this was right after the Nightless City massacre – there isn't any goodwill towards Wei Wuxian at this point in time.
Of course, the Lan sect did participate in the siege after Lan Xichen knew of Lan Wangji's feelings towards Wei Wuxian, which Lan Xichen was no doubt a part of (although Lan Qiren lead the Lan sect in the siege, Lan XIchen had to have at least known/given his support, if not participated.) And it should be considered that Lan Xichen letting Wei Wuxian shelter at the Cloud Recesses was after Wei Wuxian had been back for a while, and had not caused the downfall of the Cultivation World, like many suspected he would after his death. And of course, as stated previously, his handling of the aftermath of Nightless City wasn't perfect either (though please note that his main motive here was to protect Lan Wangji from being potentially executed, rather than anything about Wei Wuxian himself). So caring about Lan Wangji doesn't mean he won't harm Wei Wuxian. But I do think he could find bringing Wei Wuxian's soul back to completely destroy it a bit excessive. There is, though, the chance that the elders of the Lan Sect would react to this differently, and of course they would have a sway on both Lan Xichen and the Lan sect as well.
The second reason is smaller, but there seems to be more focus in the Lan sect than in others when it comes to letting ghosts rest peacefully/helping them move on. And that could definitely lead to more resistance to the idea of summoning a soul back to destroy it as well, which could especially impact the elders. So I'd assume that the Lan sect would be the most likely sect to summon Wei Wuxian's soul back just for confinement, or just for some way of making sure any resentment is disippated, his spirit moves on, and he can't cause more harm to the world (eg via Inquiry)******. Not that he would or does as a ghost or as a reborn person, but that's unfortunately not relevant to this.
But yes, as a motivation for the Nie Mingjue-led Nie sect? Absolutely.
So, these are the main motives I suspect to be behind the attempted summoning of Wei Wuxian's soul after his death (and if I've missed any, please let me know – I'd love to have a discussion). And, of course, none of them lead to anywhere good. Because of course it wasn’t enough to besiege Wei Wuxian, murder the 50 non-combatants he was responsible for (and throwing them into the blood pit as a mark of disrespect because why not?), and lead to his death via him getting torn apart. It wasn’t enough to steal all his inventions, and use them commonly while still slandering him with no reprieve – or to steal his notes and give them to people like Xue Yang to study (Villainous Friends, again) and to use for their own, extremely extremely harmful, purposes. Of course, the cultivation world has to try to harm Wei Wuxian after death as well ((:
We don't know whether Wei Wuxian rejecting the summoning ceremonies was conscious or unconscious, but if it was the former, these are very likely reasons he refused to return in this way. If it was unconscious – for example, maybe during the frequent soul-summons his soul was in a weakened state due to him dying from a backlash of resentful energy and getting torn apart, and it healed over time but not before the soul-summoning rituals stopped – well, I can only be thankful.
Finally, let me leave you on the thought that – although it may well have happened since we don't spend much time in the immediate aftermath of the Sunshot campaign – there isn't even any textual mention of this happening to Wen Ruohan. Who, while not being a guidao user, was still very dangerous, still an extremely powerful cultivator, and still had a lot of reason to feel resentment. So.
:')
Thank you for reading!
--
*Considering what we see of how Wei Wuxian's guidao functions – redirecting the ghosts'/corpses' resentment into doing something they'd want to do, eg attacking people, and directing it towards a target – I'm not sure using it to force a spirit to do something 1) extremely specific, and 2) explicitly against their will would actually work. Iirc the closest thing we get to this in text is Wei Wuxian using the corpses of Wens to attack other Wens in the Sunshot Campaign, but he's still just directing their resentment to a target of his choice, and fierce corpses do tend to be on the less concious side of things (hence why Wei Wuxian had to awaken Wen Ning's consciousness). Considering how Wen Ning attacks Wei Wuxian and the Burial Mound Wens before his consciousness had fully awoken, I... really don't think those fierce corpses were able to differentiate (or didn't care).
Meanwhile, ghosts seem to be a bit more in control of themselves – see A-Qing, and Wei Wuxian's own descriptions of his ghost self.
That, alongside ghost!Wei Wuxian being able to resist his soul-summoning and the fact that pretty much all of the new guidao users are a lot weaker than he was, does make me think that this this wouldn't work. I do wonder about Xue Yang, since his methods are pretty different as well, but he's more of a modao user than a guidao user (he controls living corpses rather than dead people) and I don't think you can insert physical nails into ghosts?? Though if he was specifically instructed to figure out some way to control ghost!Wei Wuxian (who's probably kept in a spirit-trapping pouch in this scenario), he might be able to do something at least. Though also he was also struggling to piece Xiao Xingchen's ghost soul back together, so he may struggle with those areas?
Well, whatever the potential outcome, I'm so so happy once again that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the soul-summonings...
**Mainly this:
Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. If he wanted to take someone back, the opposition would surely lose half of their life. - Chapter 10, EXR
But I have heard people say 'you can't prove that it's just more rumours' before, and I wanted my evidence to be as watertight as possible.
(And, off-topic... isn't it really sad how Jiang Cheng, in the present day, is described as young? Because, for a clan leader, he is. And another thing he is, is close in age to Wei Wuxian – who was killed 13 whole years prior :') )
***And do note that the only other time they run into each other before Wei Wuxian's identity is revealed to the world apart from this is their brief interaction at Jinlintai, where he can't just act however he wants. The next time they run into each other after it, Jiang Cheng is literally taking part in another siege against him, and still extremely hostile ("surrounded by hostile energy, face insidious, staring straight at him" – from EXR chapter 60). Then he loses his spiritual powers and can't do anything. By the time he regains his powers, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and the Wen remnants' corpses have saved everyone during the Second Siege, and though public opinion hasn't properly shifted quite yet, it will soon after Sisi and Bicao tell the story of Jin Guangyao, and voila, a new scapegoat (do note that he doesn't completely bar Wei Wuxian from entering Lotus Pier after the Second Siege, though). Plus, throughout it all, Lan Wangji is still constantly present, which makes it hard for Jiang Cheng to really do anything. And then he's finally faced with the Golden Core reveal, which does alter his motivations towards Wei Wuxian (obviously the resentment is still there – read chapter 102 – but it's also mixed with other complex emotions, and he seems to start being able to move away from that a little in Chapter 103). I still definitely wouldn't describe Jiang Cheng's attitude towards him as positive, but it isn't at the point it was at the start of the novel (eg Chapter 10).
But even if his attitude does change, or would for whatever other reason apart from the reveal, that still doesn't change an initial motivation so isn't relevant to this meta. We know his intentions at the start.
****It's also possible they may have originated it, but I think WWX's reputation was bad enough for it to form naturally. Though you can trace a major part of that back to them, too.
*****That belief isn't outright stated in MDZS, but the fact people are specifically talking about the status of WWX's body in the aftermath of his death suggests that this belief does have some grounding in the MDZS universe, at least? And we know MXTX has included it in TGCF (though that doesn't mean it's definitely in MDZS), so she has used it in her works. If this isn't the case in the MDZS universe I am sorry (although that could also mean there's less importance placed on not disturbing the reincarnation cycle in the world of MDZS...? Which would work towards my original argument) – I don't want to spread misinformation that something is definitely true, I just think there's evidence to suggest it is true, which isn't the same thing.
******Again, I think this would depend on who ends up having more influence over who in the Lan sect. After all, normal resentful spirits only do what they do because of their resentment in death, whereas Wei Wuxian is 'dangerous' because of who everyone thinks he was in life – so him being reborn naturally could also 'cause a lot of harm to the world' during the time period this version of him would live in, unlike the resentful ghosts they appease. This could definitely lead to many advocating for confinement, I think.
#writing this takes me back to my nie huaisang one#'detective metas' i'd call both of them#as opposed to analysis of characters or themes#it may be less 'meaningful' but it's still fun to explore and speculate within a world you love#...albeit maybe not for this one because. mdzs jianghu when i get my hands on you-#also i fully acknowledge i may be wrong#but again i'd love to have discussions about these! debates and knowledge exchange are what leads to better understanding of source materia#which is a major goal of mine in writing these#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs cultivation world#long post#mo dao zu shi#gdc#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#魔道祖师#mxtx#detective meta#<– if i ever make this a tag#also i feel like you could write a fic (angsty or not so angsty depending on where you go with it) where the lan sect somehow-#-summons ghost!wwx back (not sure how bc the jin and jiang sects would probably want 'custody' of him more - and i don't think summoning-#-rituals are done by just one sect at a time? but imagine it happens) and idk he's kept in a spirit-trapping pouch or sth#lwj probably isn't told bc of what happened after nightless city - elders can't really trust him in matters to do with wwx#but maybe lxc feels bad for him or sth (especially bc he's mourning him and stuff + what happened after he found out wwx was dead)#and tells him and maybe brings wwx's soul to him for a bit so wwx can respond to inquiry#and they talk and obv. wwx is NOT happy with the situation (both rn and yk bc of the VERY RECENT SIEGE)#but but but! the thing that would stop this being completely depressing is that LWJ HAS A-YUAN SO WWX FINDS OUT HE SURVIVED#also lwj's injuries would likely come up at SOME point which would lead to wwx finding out abt nightless city afermath#AA NOO THE TAGS WENT ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER BUT I GUESS TUMBLR DOESN'T ALLOW SO MANY i'll have to make another post...
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Incredible characterization move on Kubo's part to make Byakuya's theme song an instrumental version of a song called "I Sing to Pass "the Time." [YouTube link, it's very pretty if you like piano music]
I suppose it's possible that Kubo chose it on the sound alone, but I doubt it. The original version, by Léo Ferré, was from an album where he set the work of Surrealist/Communist poet Louis Aragon to music. The lyrics for this one are all about beauty and wonder passing out of the world, just like the rest of Byakuya's dead tree, last-of-his-line, color-fading-into-white schtick.
I have lived marvels during the day You and I, remember it And I have broken through the wall of the years The ears full of miracles Our universe is not the same anymore I have lived marvels during the day
(full lyrics under the cut)
(Translation source) (Here is the poem in its original French, if you prefer)
I sing to pass the time short amount of it that I have left to live Like you draw on the frost Like you make your heart pleased while throwing pebbles on the pond I sing to pass the time
I have lived marvels during the day You and I, remember it And I have broken through the wall of the years The ears full of miracles Our universe is not the same anymore I have lived marvels during the day
Let's have those fingers untangled now Like the forehead from the glory Our eyes were first to see the clouds lower than us And the lark at our knees Let's have those fingers untangled now
We have made moonlights For our palaces and our statues What matters now that we are being killed The nights will fall one by one China turned itself into the Commune We have made moonlights
And I would tell and I would tell So much was this life adventure Where man has become life-size His voice above the forests The mountains, the seas and the secrets And I would tell and I would tell
Yes; I sing to pass the time The bow wears out against the violin The pebble at the game of rebounds And how my love is touching Near me in the leaning shadow Yes, I sing to pass the time
I sing to pass the time Yes to pass the time I sing
#byakuya kuchiki#i did this for the byakuya fanficcers because i sure as heck would be mining this for fanfic titles#byakuya would have loved dadaism if it had made it to soul society but somehow i feel like it did not#yeah you could def also read this as 'guy who is sad about his dead wife' but I think it hits B's overall character concepts in bigger ways#like hisana is part of his world-weariness but not all of it#on a more personal level i love this as his theme song because it fits very neatly with my extremely niche headcanon#that byakuya loves to sing and has a lovely voice#but will only sing for his wife and later his sister because he 'is not in the business of entertainment'#(do not ask him follow-up questions about his stand-up. that is ✨Art✨)
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transfem miles giggling at people calling her spider-woman on accident even though she hasn’t confirmed or denied anything yet but hasn’t been trying to hide her transition either, emt patching her arm up as she tries to convince them to “stop wasting resources” on her, and the emt is like “excuse me young lady,” or some shit and starts arguing back. like immediately makes her so giddy she stops arguing. maybe rio is like talking about spider-man with her coworkers and she’s so used to saying spider-woman at home and thinking it that she says it out loud. oh right sorry you can go now (removes the reverse beartrap)
#transfem miles#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#if transfem miles has 0 fans im dead and i will be back.#young transfem joy is like. AAUGH. IT REALLY MAKES ME SO GIDDY. LIKE I FEEL LIKE IM FEELING IT PERSONALLY WHEN I TYPE SHIT LIKE THIS OUT#both the amazing stuff and the angst i write for tfem miles feels like it’s coming directly from and right back into my soul fr fr#she’s so me#m&m posts
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Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 120.5#please laugh i know i made myself laugh.... if only to keep from crying lol#the oocification of Fukuzawa will be studied in the history books for years to come#that's not my fukuzawa...... that's his discount twin fucksack#because his dick is so far up the ass of his dead pathetic dumbass crusty ex boyfriend it's not even funny#he is dickriding that fucker HARD#and here i thought the FANDOM woobified fukuchi out the wazoo. but oh my god no fukuzawa himself has them all beat this chapter#man is coco for cocopuffs and babying that grown-ass man like he's 5#it's truly pathetic and depressing to see i'm just beyond words#'you deceived him by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind' NO??? LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD KNOW#THAT THAT WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK???? THAT IT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST NAIVE PLAN AND VIEW OF THE WORLD IMAGINABLE????#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS A TODDLER INSTEAD OF A GROWN-ASS SOLDIER WITH YEARS OF MILITARY EXPERIENCE#Fyodor feels like the only one at this point that hasn't truly lost the plot in all this...... the only one with a goddamn brain#I HATE THAT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! I HATE THAT IT FELT SO CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hate even more that the series clearly doesn't want us to agree with him and instead believe that fukuzawa is still right#even though he was spouting the most naive braindead bullshit imaginable that early series Fukuzawa would NEVER SAY#WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BRO??? WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT DEFENDING THE HONOR OF THAT CRUSTY MF THAN#THE SAFETY OF YOUR KIDS????#WHERE DID ALL YOUR INTELLIGENCE GO#i fucking hated the writing ever since fukuchi's plan/motives were first revealed and it was played completely straight (and gay lol)#but to hear fukuzawa actually come out and defend that ridiculous bs is just.......... again i have no words#it's insane. what happened. what happened to you fukuzawa. all i can do is laugh it's so sad it's so stupid. I WAS CRINGING SO BAD.#and was so glad when he finally died so he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate it here. i miss when BSD was good so bad man 😭😭😭#it would be one thing if it felt like he's so deep in grief that he's completely deluded himself that fukuchi was right and had pure motive#and wasn't an idiotic piece of shit himself just like fyodor#but nah again it just feels like we're supposed to side with him lmao even though fyodor was exactly right in everything he said#when your villain sounds more intelligent/correct than your hero and that's not an intentional writing choice..... that's not good bros!!!#anyway may your stupidity be purified in the soul of your dead bf fukuzawa 🙏 and we get the true you back
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hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with

#us politics#I don't care if it was intentional or a coincidence or what that shit is funny as hell#I got like 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours#my closest friends are sleeping and don't know yet#we're going to dc a month from now on vacation and none of us expected this#I've been on twitter and it's crushing I see my friends in fear for their lives#I see the worst people in the world cheering for their own downfall because all they care about is someone else having it worse#like they'll douse the vulnerable among us with gasoline and pray for hellfire thinking they'll be safe#but the flames don't discriminate like they do and we're all going to burn#except for the wealthy and powerful of course they'll be polluting the solar system or dead from old age#and the only hell they'll ever know is the one millions upon millions of people eagerly built in their names#in the name of 'greatness'#(man I get really melodramatic when I haven't slept)#and I'm scared too I didn't think this was going to happen and I have no idea what the future holds anymore#and I know I'm privileged to be able to say this when people's lives are about to be destroyed but I think I'm more sad than anything#so disappointed that 70 million people voted for *that*#because it's completely unconscionable to anyone with a soul but somehow he's winning the popular vote for the first time???#what do you mean more people like him now than they did in 2016 and 2020#this genuinely feels like a nightmare are we really so far gone as a country??? as a society?????#that we would not only let a convicted felon (who was served a lawsuit ON ELECTION DAY) on the ballot#but that SEVENTY. MILLION. PEOPLE. would vote for him? to run the country??? to represent us on a global stage?????#*THAT'S* what we as a nation have chosen??? what the fuck is wrong with this country?????#why him indeed#and yet I still have hope#inexplicably
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UUGHH I JUST HAD THE WORST DAY IM SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED GRRRR !!!!! goes to draw my best friend @jumjum-crafts 's guy to blow off steam
★ version without text + reference image under cut :

★ song : "STATIC ELECTRICITY HUMAN – Computer Flavor" – kairikibear
#before you ask . dear jummy – yes . this was what the ask i sent you the other day was alluding to#i have a very complicated relationship with your colin . but you should be aware of the fact that seeing him invokes intense primitive –#– feelings within me . and one cannot decipher whether they are positive or negative#in any case#JDHDHDJRJRHT I HATE MY LIFE#I HATE THIS SHIT#I WANT TO BE DEAD#there's so much stuff happening every day and im constantly overwhelmed and tired and it's so hard to get out of bed and i don't even want –#– to wake up in the morning . every day just gets worse than the last#everyone around me is doing so much . living their life to the fullest . making huge future and career decisions and planning way ahead#and what am i doing ?#im laying in bed . crying because today was just too much to bear . trying to gain an ounce of happiness by ripping out another piece of –#– my soul to hand out to someone i admire#is this what it's going to be like forever ? bleak nothingness ? constant desolation ?#...#im gonna go to bed#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis colin#colin the computer#fanart#fanart for a friend#vocaloid#vocaloid inspired#i actually had a lot of fun with this . even if the background was the biggest pain i ever had the pleasure of drawing#this entire song makes me feel comfortable#i might make something for someone else#and im debating if im actually gonna be doing a halloween drawing in the first place . at least one that will be on time with the holiday#whatever#please ignore me
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respectfully I need to climb him like a rope ladder and do him so good we both ascend into the clouds and never recover
#forever in a state of need for him that gets my feminist card revoked#i’m so HE IS JUST SO#he is EVERYTHING to me#the look on his face here is everything i dream of#so tender and approachable and vulnerable#yet with that inner strength that drives him and gives him such character#i feel like russell crowe poured every bit of his soul into maximus#there’s something so deeply human about him#something so deeply good and noble beyond the mere appearance of it#he’s a man who has fears and concerns and tendencies and blind spots and flaws#but also so motivated to do what’s right that all those other things are nearly forgotten#he loves his family his emperor his soldiers his home his ancestors and his honor#and he lives in a way so that he won’t disgrace any of them#and that constantly brings him into the spotlight because such a good man is so rare#i just!!! think he’s the best guy ever!#his face inspires me to write entire books of romantic poetry#i will write an epic of you my love#i will immortalize your goodness and strength#if he fixed this gaze on me i would be a puddle on the floor#that’s it jane is dead from an overload of handsomeness#obsessed with those big clear blue-green eyes and those little forehead crinkles and those wide shoulders#the face of a man who needs to be KISSED#and snuggled and caressed and loved on#i will!! i will love him if no one else will!#i will love him long after both our names are forgotten!#he’s so beloved by me he’s SO dear and precious to me#gladiator#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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