#i feel like Lots of people also associate being queer w/ wanting to Look queer. queer Culture so to speak. Community !

[leatherbookmark]

Hmmm, who would be the opposite? Not necessarily hypermasculine but like, the most into conventional masculinity in a non repressedGNC way?

i had a huge reply drafted for this ask and then i was like “damn i don’t think abt fashion enough to answer this” lol

N E WAY, you see anon (sorry for the late reply btw). it’s like. i don’t really understand fashion as this thing that you Think A Lot About And Use It To Express Who You Are. it seems very time-consuming and exhausting to my shrimp brain. that being said, i can imagine characters who possess enough Funky Flavour to have it in them to Experiment with Garments, or to perhaps wear Unique Clothes just because it makes people go >:O! so, let’s say, wwx or xy, i think mxy is also canonically implied to at least have something Going On with the way he chooses to present himself, although i’m not sure if it’s more “fashion statement” or “gender presentation” than “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YOU ALL PEOPLE”. and ljy, because ljy is great and i love him.

but then. but then i have characters who i cannot imagine Caring About Fashion, painstakingly picking out clothes to Reflect who they are inside, and in this group we have for example mr lwj who, as i have seen when i cared about wgxn a bit more, has been kindasorta chosen by the fandom to be Fashionable and wear Fancy and/or gnc clothes which. is very much the opposite to how i see him, because lwj imo doesn’t have anything he wants to communicate to the outside world via his clothes. if he had, he would be a different person. his clothes have to be durable, comfortable and pleasing to the eye, yeah, but not exactly “making him the most noticeable person in the room”. so i guess he does qualify for someone who sticks to the conventional masculinity, mostly out of habit and because he feels comfortable in it.

the same rule applies to lqr and nmj, with an addition that they would... feel almost offended by the suggestion that they could wear anything else than things Standard and Masculine-Adjacent because like, what? rainbow neon colors? a dress? this is ridiculous and attention-seeking. i’ll have my good quality durable and comfortable pants and shirts, please and thank you. lqr leans slightly towards “and also it should look Appropriate”, and nmj towards “associating the concern for Aesthetics with his silly brother who really should calm down and get this rubbish out of his head. who gives a fuck if i’m wearing brown shoes with black clothes. they’re just fabrics?”.

i could list more and more characters and reasons why, but i don’t really feel like it, since the list would actually be long as fuck. obviously, if it was a Thing in a fanfic, i could accept a lot, on the condition that -- like everything else -- it’s justified in-universe and doesn’t clash with how i see the characters. it’s physically impossible for me to accept or even imagine lwj going out clubbing or seeking one night stands or being a hashtag fashion king (or having a... social media account that he uses to Socialize... lol). i’m also *tilts head dubiously* at the idea of gnc nmj, simply because it leans too much into the fan-favourite laid back Chilldude Nice Mingjue who’s Dealt With His Problems. i don’t see jgy approaching anything outside his basic elegant and appropriate but not too eye-catching outfits, but it’s less because of his actual Deep Inside preferences and more because uhhh His Position Would Suffer and he’s not really interested in that, etc, etc.

i’m afraid that wasn’t really an interesting answer. sorry!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

just out of curiosity – why do you like sukugo??

i've just never seen any of the accounts i follow/my mutuals celebrate this pairing so i'm really curious!

:))))))))) i smiled so wide getting this ask anon. PLS DON’T BE ALARMED just take my hand and let me tell you abt two deeply violent homoerotic men….

okay so when it comes to sukugo i just. ADORE their dynamic and relationship. it’s one of my favorites in the entire manga and i truly think akutami COOKED with it . not only the shinjuku fight itself (which is, ofc, what sold me on the ship) but also the foreshadowing beforehand!!! like sukuna telling gojo that he’ll be the first one he kills…. the two of them making the same kind of pose in their respective volume covers (vol. 4 & 14….. another parallel which is even more devastating when you remember that the number four is associated with death in japan)….. both of them being referred to as ”the strongest.”

i actually didn’t pick up on a lot of it until we got to shinjuku!! but i just think akutami teased at their importance to each other so well and so early on.

WITH THAT BEING SAID . their dynamic. their parallels. yes. they’re both the strongest and the most isolated and those two things are synonymous. it ties into one of the most central themes of jjk that equates absolute strenght to absolute solitude — it’s a kind of curse. a curse and a blessing. and they both have it.

the main difference is that gojo knows what it’s like to be understood and loved — but sukuna doesn’t. so he can’t feel lonely. he’s never known what it’s like to not be alone. but gojo has!!! gojo has felt love and felt what it’s like to be understood, and when geto died a part of him died too. he’ll always be lonely. he’s the loneliest character in the series. and when he looks at sukuna he sees the exact same isolation that’s plagued him since the moment he was born. so what does he do about it?

he tries to teach sukuna about love.

^ and THAT’S . the most delicious dynamic ever. i take no criticism. i’ll die on the hill that this concept and their dynamic is one of the absolute highlights of jjk. it’s so GOOD. it’s so insanely good. gojo wants to teach sukuna about love/cure him from his solitude by killing him. and vice versa. it’s inherently violent and inherently tender and it makes me INSANE. to me that’s the greatest appeal of sukugo!!!! violence as tenderness is a trope very near and dear to my heart (and also VERY frequently associated w queer subtext in media…. just putting that out there……) and they do it so good. they have a blast killing each other.

also i just NEED to say how much i love the ”teach you about love” line. it’s one of my favorites in the manga and akutami utilizes it so well!! he repeats it over and over as foreshadowing and to build up the sukugo dynamic. the final reveal that gojo is ”the one who will teach [sukuna] about love” made me weep (even though it was so obvious)…. it’s just so deeply. idk. it just says so much about gojo as a character :(( the fact that he wanted to teach sukuna about love. i’ve seen some people who think that part is ooc but i disagree completely!! gojo has never concerned himself w the morals of others. not really. toji kills riko but gojo still has a respect for him and allows him to say his final words. he never hated geto despite his crimes. he supports yuji fully no matter how many people die because of him. etcetc. same with all his students.

gojo looks at sukuna and sees someone who is just as alone as he is. so deeply, deeply alone. him wanting to change that is not ooc in the slighest because that’s quite literally what drives gojo as a character:

he’s just such a genuinely good person at his core. and it coexists with the way he sometimes disregards morality. this is a hot take but i genuinely think gojo’s character blossomed fully in his battle with sukuna….. i don’t see him as ooc in it at all. he genuinely wanted to reach sukuna!! he knew he was the only one who could even hope to do so. and he tried his best.

and, i would argue that he succeeded.

SEGWAY TIMEEEEEEEEE LET’S GO. okay so let’s talk abt one of my favorite panels in the jjk manga, the panel that solidified sukugo as one of my favorite pairings Of All Time:

(two diff translations bc i love them both :3)

THIS. wow. wow. wow. i could talk abt this panel alone for hours and hours but i’ll try to be coherent……

there’s just? so much meaning to be found here??? for both of them????? not only is it a fundamental moment for gojo — being praised and acknowledged and accepted as himself rather than the strongest — but it’s also proof that gojo did reach sukuna!!! he’ll remember him forever. sukuna will never fully be entirely isolated because even millenia into the future he’ll still remember gojo. gojo nestled his way into sukuna’s heart.

and that’s just . so romantic isn’t it???? so beautiful???????? this is the culmination of gojo’s efforts; the most genuine expression we’ve ever seen on sukuna’s face. he actually looks happy.

i cried seeing that panel btw 😭😭 not a joke!! i was already crying when i started chapter 236 bc i knew how it’d end but this panel (+ the one w geto cheering gojo on in his cult leader fit) made me SOB. not exaggerating. i’ve never cried so much reading a manga… T_T

so!!!! yeah. i just love sukugo. their dynamic is so interesting and beautiful and i can never get enough of it. sometimes i love it more than stsg… don’t tell geto that though……..

[evilbonehag]

So my thoughts recently have been these:

• queer masculinity got watered down and pushed out of queer spaces and its annoying to see the aftermath bc everyone wants a domtop daddy partner but is grossed out by like. Idk body hair? Cargo shorts? Ill get back to you on that

• we have this weird breed of transmascs who dont necessarily want to admit that they have the privilege of being transmasculine in relation to transfems (something youre able to have while also being affected by transphobia and misogyny as separate events, just not transmisogyny bc thats not rlly how it works)

• a weird breed of queer people who dont want to be assertive or dominant or capable of like?? Anything at all? ‘I cant do the dishes im neurodivergent’ or whatever? So this weird avoidance of responsibility, accountability, independence, even in sexual situations (see top shortage, whatever that is)

• a weird fear of penises which most people associate w/ masculinity and therefore the transmisogyny that ensues because of that

• inability to communicate, organize, or basically behave like adults because of like. Idk the fear of being wrong? Why do I feel like a lot of other transmasc queer folks ive met irl recently have the tendency to be weird and catty ?

• competing victim mentalities, trauma olympics etc. instead of a focus on healing from wounds. The weird sense of individualism some folks get about mental illness, individual trauma, what have you. Something that singles you out from the crowd or excuses you from accountability instead of something you can use to relate to other people w/ the same issues or a way to help you like. Look at yourself and your habits better.

• people who dont want to put effort into friendships, bad faith, not wanting to give help without immediate reciprocation?

Weird relationships between capability, masculinity, bioessentialism, responsibility, and community maybe? I think we have a lot of queer transmasc folks who dont feel comfy w/ their own masculinity (or assertiveness or dominance or things we associate w/ masculinity in the West ig) because they believe any connection to masculinity/men/ whatever is like. Inherently evil maybe? Because misandry? Fear of perceived masculinity? Idk? Help?

[irrigos]

YES oh my god it makes me insane. i love older books/literature, especially victorian-era lit. and sometimes i’ll see someone talking about racism in a work, and it starts out fine, and then the second paragraph in it’s like “oh you think this is good actually. well shit.”

or even just people posting quotes! and then i look at their account and they’ve got the worst values and opinions known to man. augh.

it sucks!!! why cant you all be normal and stop making me look bad!!!! ive been really into calligraphy for the past like. idk 2 years? year and a half? and for some reason SO MANY CALLIGRAPHERS are like. SUPER christian. i dont have a problem with christians generally (i was raised Catholic and still feel kind of attached to it overall, for cultural/heritage reasons) but like. i only fuck with weird queer christians. and its really jarring when ill be scrolling through instagram and see some beautiful benign calligraphy pieces and then suddenly you see one thats like "God said gay people are yucky!" in beautiful calligraphy. (ok its not THAT blatant but. well i found out one of the people i followed was really into Matt Walsh, which is why i kept getting ads for him. Yuck!)

and it also sucks because so many of these things have such an association with being the hobbyhorse of a bunch of the worst most exhausting people you can imagine that i see a lot of people implying that you MUST be one of them if you like that thing. that liking history or w/e is a red flag, and only cishet white men would ever find anything of value in an old book and only weird conservative snobs like fountain pens or good leather shoes and only fascists would be interested in The Past.

and that sucks!!! i dont like people from either side implying im a conservative because i like history!!! im not going to laud the racism in these old texts because... racism is bad?? but im also not going to totally dismiss everything from before. idk some arbitrary recent year. as being inherently bad because people were racist then. sometimes putting things in historical context enriches them! sometimes reading stuff from the past enriches you!!!

bah. its frustrating. theres nothing much to be done about it, i guess, but it sucks that i have to be constantly on guard when engaging with my hobbies, lest I get mistaken for the same kind of people that would actively want me dead (either by my peers, who mistake me for an enemy, or by The Worst People I Can Imagine, who mistake me for one of them. i want neither of these!!!!)

[thegeminisage]

wait but i care about your thoughts on sam and gender, i wanna hear all about it

@prettygayrose said: I feel terrible for asking multiple things...but I NEED TO KNOW....PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET INTO YOUR FEELINGS ON SAM'S GENDER I WILL BE SO GRATEFUL!!

HI sorry im answering this so late. its been a whole ass week huh

i know sam as a trans lesbian is super popular & i think it’s rad but i also dig sam as a trans man and here are my thots about that, with the obvious disclaimer that i’m not really a professor i just play one on tv:

obvs sam as trans either way is like...since birth there’s something ~wrong~ about him you know except the only thing thats wrong is that everyone thinks hes a girl and hes not

i also like aspec sam and i feel like i read somewhere that trans people are more likely to be aspec though i can’t find the source so that may or may not be true. (EDIT okay i found this study which gives the percentage of trans people IDing as aspec at 4%, which is 4 times higher than the infamous figure of 1% that floats around about ace people in the general population, but it should also be noted that trans people are more likely to be any kind of queer - gay bi etc - overall. anyway aspec transman sam winchester is my point)

i think john was always kind of disappointed that dean wasn’t mary and it would be a neat foil if he was equally disappointed that sam wasn’t himself. the irony there being in fandom and in canon to some extent dean favors mary and sam favors john. so dean is a boy which is not mary’s gender and john is equally disappointed that sam “is a girl” which is not john’s gender except sam’s not a girl

john always belittling sam and never listening to him and making him feel like he can’t be trusted is actually now just misogyny bc he thinks sam is a woman. and dean’s the favorite by virtue of being “a real man” and dean’s not even that manly. it would be INFURIATING

the earlier seasons and for sure their childhoods have this thing about sam being small and weak and usually in need of protecting and also frequently underestimated which are all things that, in fiction, we associate with little sisters, which is what the world thinks sam is to dean

my biggest preference for trans guy sam is how well sam grows into manhood in the late seasons. late season sam is reserved and quiet about his pain, and he takes on protective and leadership roles, slips into this head-of-the-family sort of position (when dean kicks mary out of the bunker in s12, sam is the one she looks to after - like he gets the final say in whether or not that stands). and i’m not saying these things can’t be true of someone of any gender, but those mannerisms are all things we traditionally associate with men, especially in fiction, and sam embodies them SO WELL

and again, this is a stark contrast to dean heart-on-my-sleeve winchester, who to some degree had to be emotionally abused into his protective role of sam, and has always struggled with the more “traditional” aspects of manhood to the point where masculinity for him is a performance he has to get a good grade on - vs with sam, it’s just part of Who He Is

and struggles w/ masculinity being something they can sort of relate to each other with and bond over

like we watch sam become a man in supernatural so it would be cool to mirror it with him almost LITERALLY becoming a man

think about sam “becoming” something sinister in seasons 2-4 and he grapples with maybe just becoming who he’s meant to be. think about him liking to hang out with ruby and get away from dean because ruby doesn’t misgender and wants him the way a woman wants a man

we all said “cas bringing trans man dean back the way he wants to be” but cas bringing trans man sam back the way he wants to be 🥺

as sam becomes more outwardly masculine-presenting he realizes the “boy version” of himself looks a lot like john and then he has to deal with THAT

john seeing dean in mary being foiled by mary seeing john in sam when she comes back and the baby she thought was her daughter is now her son and a man too

anyway! trans man sam.

[spn masterpost]

[dughole]

putting under the cut bc its too long..... .. ,...,. please share opinions and thoughts and opinions i am struggling.

does any other trans ppl like closeted or otherwise feel very alienated by ppl who r nb but it’s unclear whether they consider themselves trans or not. like obvi understanding if ur trans is an intimate process and it’s one that no one else is entitled to, but like, none of us lives in a vaccuum and regardless of whether ur experiencing interalized transphobia or ur just a bigot like - ur still affecting other ppl? i am having the problem of. there r people in my life who r using indicators of transness via their pronouns - but, they turn around and say really horribly physically transphobic stuff/they date someone who says those kinds of things/won’t call them out on it until another trans person does/they turn down active opportunities to be referred to by the correct pronouns by their family.. like these ppl can’t even say the word trans, or they can’t even like. be nice to me if they know i am trans. like i came out to an ex friend in order to tell them they were being transphobic towards myself and my ex, and they just .. stopped talking to me despite promising they were going to consider how badly their biases contribute to like. transphobic violence. and they don’t even make themselves open to criticism for transphobia most of the time like. r y’all having problems with that. like with cis nb ppl or otherwise. am i evil for feeling very bad and confused by that kind of behavior. like. i do not think these ppl r lying or scheming and transness isn’t defined by pain and i hate the stupid idea of “transtrenders” like that’s fake and who knows where these ppl will end up knowing abt themselves like it’s not my job to determine that. like, I will believe what you tell me about urself full stop and I am not going into it with skepticism. but. i am.. still having problems. like u r trying to detach urself from the gender binary but u r also asking people what’s in their pants and violating my sexual experiences bc of the trans aspect of them. and associating penises with ur sexual trauma to the end that u r making really shitty comments abt trans ppl in ur life. help. like it is starting to get to a point where ppl in my life will come out as nb while refusing to touch the concept of transness w a ten foot pole and i feel. alienated and sad instead of connecting with them on like, oh you also feel very alienated and disconnected by ur agab. like i feel like. this is a problem and a trend but it is hard to identify bc its nebulous like. this may not apply to u and ignore it if it doesn’t but if u R cis i think you should like. know u r cis and know what that means. and obvi like, being cis is a complicated thing too like bc a lot of ppl experience gender legitimization! and bc the line between cis and trans is blurry sometimes, but like! i feel like. everyone is responsible to know how they wield the biases that r inherent to society, like r u wielding it inwards at urself or at other people.. like maybe whether or not u know or consider urself cis is whatever but u should know if u r trans or not for the sake of urself and others. I do not know. transmedicalism is evil and im someone who has a very complex view of my tr*nsness esp. bc i am closeted in many parts of my life and im not in a safe circumstances. but like, i guess i do feel alienated by ppl who r using the same langauge as me but also, like, actively harming me and ppl i love, and like, make me feel weird for wanting surgery and to look different. like i dont think, transness is defined by dysphoria, its fucked up to think that!!!! is what i am saying making sense.!!!! I feel like ive seen similar thoughts expressed by other trans ppl like many trans women hav been like. guys i know ur all for "dont assume peoples genders its fucked up and bad" but also, when a trans woman presents femininely and like. isnt presumed a woman under those same guidelines by other queer ppl at best it makes them feel insanely unwelcome in their own community and at worst it actively gets them killed or assaulted like. problems !!! i am struggling to know how to talk about this

and i feel like it is just in my head.. am . i . crazy. am i hateful and evil and projecting.

[woman-loving]

Affect Theory

I was listening to the “Affect Theory and Religion w/ Dr. Donovan Schaefer and Dr. Brian Carwana” episode of The Classical Ideas Podcast, and like the overview the guest gave of affect theory (starting at 15:50):

Brian Carwana: Alright, so, Donovan, at the intro I said that you’re an affect theorist. I think it’s time for us to dive into the heart of it. What is affect?

Donovan Schaefer: Yeah, that’s the question. [laughter] I mean, it’s a complicated question, because affect theory is, as a field, internally very multiple. Like there are a lot of different people who are using this concept of affect and sometimes using it in different ways. And I actually find when I start talking about affect theory, you know, there’s a whole contingent of people whose eyes just glaze over. And I think part of it is because the way that affect gets used in these divergent ways has produced a kind of cipher. And you sort of need to know how to navigate your way into the conversation by recognizing how different scholars within the conversation are using this word in different ways.

So just as a very brief overview, I would say the main way that people use the word affect is in a sense that is informed by the philosopher Benedict Spinoza, who says that we are affected by the world around us. So in that sense, affect is the capacity to be affected. It’s the way that the world around us sort of seeps into us and tints us and shapes our subjectivity.

There’s another sense of affect that is more closely associated, I would say, with someone like Henri Bergson, the French philosopher, or Giles Deleuze, another French philosopher who really liked Bergson, also liked Spinoza. But that sense of affect is more metaphysical. It sees affect as something that is outside of the realm of structure. So affect is potential. Affect is that which has not yet been actualized as a something. And that has implications for thinking about consciousness. It also has implications for thinking about reality, the nature of reality. And that’s a meaningfully different way of understanding affect, compared to the Spinoza sense of affect.

Then there’s another sense of affect that I think also needs to be part of the conversation, which is more closely associated, I  would say, with queer theory and with feminism, and also has more bridges into the field of psychology. This is partly because of queer theorist Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, who got very interested in a certain kind of post-psychoanalytic psychology at a certain point in her career. And that sense of affect is much closer to the way that we in a kind of ordinary way would use the word emotion. She is very comfortable talking about affect as being shame. But you wouldn't--if you were using the Spinoza perspective, the Spinoza definition of affect, or the Bergson definition of affect, it wouldn't make sense to talk about shame as being an affect. So that--and there are other definitions of affect in circulation. But that's partly why it's sort of a difficult field to [crack?].

BC: Yeah, cause that's one of the things I was wondering, for our listeners, like is affect a fancy academic way of saying emotion. But it can be quite different, eh? Like it can be more than that. Is that right? Is it something you feel? Is affect just something you feel?

DS: I think that, within affect theory--if you clump all of these perspective together and you say all of these things are affect theory, then that's a debate: whether affect is something that you can feel. My--I mean, just to put my cards on the table, my sympathies tend to run most towards that latter category. I'm most interested in a version of affect that is pretty much a synonym with the word emotion. To me that's just the--that's the most productive way that you can put affect into the field. Not to dismiss other work that's being done, but I have found that to be the most useful way to think about affect.

I will say though that if there's a difference between affect and emotion, it seems to me, the most useful way to think about that is that affect is kinda the micro and emotion is the macro. So you might have a kind of ambient sense that you are sad. You might have--I sort of think of it as like--it's the difference between droplets and a cloud. Like, if you've got some, like, sad droplets hovering around you, you can kinda feel that. But it hasn't quite gotten to the point where if somebody said to you, "how are you doing," you would say, "I'm sad." But if enough of those droplets accumulate, then you get to this point where yes, you're sad. And you know  you're sad. People who interact with you know that you're sad. That's--sorta like affect is micro, emotion is macro--is I think the most interesting way of thinking about the difference. But I also think that it's--in my own writing I often use the words synonymously.

BC: Ok, and you talk about rational actor theory. What is rational actor theory and how does affect theory sort of challenge that?  

DS: Yeah, so, I would say rational actor theory is a perspective that comes out of the social sciences that basically says when you put a series of options in front of a human being, then that actor will always choose the option that is going to provide the most benefit for them. So this is a very powerful tool within economics, particularly within libertarian economics. People will say that when given a series of choices, an actor will always seek to maximize their own benefit. That's rational actor theory in a nutshell.

The affect theory picture comes along and complicates this, because affect theory will say, well, an actor is not really one thing. An actor is a kind of effect of all of these different affects. All of these different emotions make us into the kind of choosing being that we are. So what that means is that we don't necessarily know what we want, and we don't necessarily choose what is obviously best for us. So this is the puzzle that lots of liberal economists will have when they think about voting. And they will become very confused when they see voters voting against what they perceive as their economic interest. That's the rational actor theory or rational choice theory. Whereas affect theory comes along and says, look, people are not just dollar signs. Like, people are not just economic engines that will always seek to maximize their wealth. People are complicated, and they have all of these different priorities that jostle together. And that's what makes predicting rational choices a very difficult proposition.

[flying-elliska]

I was so immersed in skam fandom, one of the first that I actually got into completely, that I forget that like other fandoms exist? Basically, I witnessed a lot of buffoonery in the skam fandom. It was nice with all the fanfics and meta but like it got wild and it’s one of the reasons I bowed out cause the anxiety was real man. But I’ve kind of entered into 911? But really it’s mostly just the fanfic because I go into the tag sometimes when an episode comes out but honestly ppl are WILD. Like Oliver stark had to deactivate because ppl won’t stop. And I’m over here like whaaat? I know ppl can freak out online and it’s one thing to make posts about it but like actors are real ppl and I really don’t understand the disconnect ppl have when they say shit to the actors. Like they don’t care or take into account that ppl are real and they are not their characters. It’s such a bummer and probably why I’ll stay in the land buddie fan fic lol

Wow this is so real like skamiverse fandom can def be a fucking circus sometimes and it's tempting to blame skam specific stuff like the live format etc

But yeah in fact each fandom unfortunately has its share of people who are either seriously deranged, too young to be online unsupervised, lacking any sort of decency, or at the very least have seriously lost touch with reality that they think it's okay to treat real people like this over made up shit.

It's so wack to me that people have invested so much of their identity and feelings in these stories that they fly off the handle like this. And this has a tendency unfortunately to get worse w queer pairings often bc media representation has come to be seen as a substitute for actual political activism so they see it as: not giving me the queer pairing I want = you must hate gay people = you deserve death threats (or something).

It's honestly such a shame bc it ruins the fandom for the rest of us. Like I read this and half of my enthusiasm for next ep was already gone, like this is so cringe I dont want to be associated with this. It would have been fun to see Oliver Stark liveblog the finale but I guess we can't have nice things.

And I mean I definitely think this is partly bc social media is specifically made to turn every possible human interaction into hot garbage for the algorithm but some people also really need to take a good look in the mirror.

I don't get the whole "haha bullying celebrities online is fun" thing ; sure they're rich and famous (and I mean in this case he's just a moderately well known TV actor so like...) but when it comes to it they're still one person facing a mass of people throwing insults their way which is not fun for anybody. And I know a lot of people doing that shit like to pretend that the power dynamics are in their favor because they're younger or not famous or whatever and the people they attack should "get over it" but it's like...just a bad faith excuse for being a piece of garbage. The way some people act like their faves somehow belong to them now bc of their support and they can do or say whatever and attack them for not giving them everything they want is so dehumanizing and gross.

[drukhari]

Hey king, I was wondering if I could ask for your advice. I'm nb and still living w my family, not in a position to move out rn for a bunch of reasons, and honestly I miss being around queer people and feeling slightly less Other ya know? Don't really have people at home to call me by my chosen name or the right pronouns and it gets hard (I have brought it up and corrected them a fair few times, minimal effort is made which I've called them out on too). Not a fun situation to be in but any advice on how to make it any less shitty? Also sort of related but seeing you existing as an nb adult is lowkey a lifesaver. You're one of two nb people I look up to a lot and want to be more like

I'm really glad that I can have that kind of positive impact - and I will say that I've been honestly surprised at how many people I've encountered like at work or just out and about who have been supportive, it wasn't at all what I was expecting. Like, seeing older colleagues using the correct pronouns for me in emails, team members putting their pronouns in their email signatures after I came out and started doing it...just little things like that really do make such a difference. I just wanted to put that out there so you and anyone else reading this who may be worried about what it's like being an out and proud nb adult might be able to breathe a little easier, it's not all bad by any means and people may surprise you in the long run.

As far as suggestions to make the situation at home a bit less shit, I can absolutely understand that it's really frustrating having to have that conversation over and over again, and seeing only minimal effort from them in actually changing when this is something that is super important to you is hard. I'm so sorry you're going through that 😔 Since the living situation isn't something you can change at the moment, most of what I'd recommend is more stuff that you can do for yourself to help offset it.

I know that for me I always try to surround myself as much as possible with things that feel affirming, because while my parents are supportive they both absolutely still misgender me with pronoun use (though they are slowly getting better at at least dropping the use of any kind of terminology that is associated with femininity/womanhood for me). Whether it's changing up my wardrobe so it's full of outfits that help me feel that gender euphoria, playing video games that let me create my own character and that don't lean heavily into cissexist gender roles (not gonna lie - just being called "good hunter" in bloodborne always felt so gender affirming like goddamn) or just having places that I enjoy walking/biking to where I can zone out, listen to some favorite tunes and feel completely at home in the universe (that last one in particular helps ground me again when physical and social dysphoria decide to hit at once, it's just like slamming a reset button on my brain for a bit).

I also definitely spent a lot of time finding communities online with other trans people. Even if I wasn't always totally comfortable being social, it allows me to always be able to touch base and at least see that there are other people out there who do get it, who experience the same things I do, and who do fully accept and support me in my own identity. While it doesn't fully take away the sting every time a family member misgenders me, it helps shore up my inner defenses so that I can feel like no matter what anyone else says, I know full well who I am and their mistakes are on them, not an indicator of anything I'm doing wrong when it comes to being me.

I hope some of this helps anon. Things won't always be as shitty as they are now, and you'll look back some day down the road and be proud of yourself for having the strength to get through this period in your life 🧡👍

[foryouthegays]

Forming a secret organization [Dream SMP] liveblog and summary!

Good laugh times: 7:40, 1:18:15, 1:19:25

Protect mr philza minecraft from baby zombies (he really went all out on that bit today): 20:35, 32:40 34:45, 1:16:35

Sellout pog: 30:45, 1:00:50, 1:30:55, 2:01:15

Summary:

Techno started the stream in the Nether. He quickly went back to the overworld and to his house, where he meets up with Phil and Ranboo. He mentions that the house smells like gunpowder, and Phil quickly ushers them outside and they continue their conversation.

Techno nudges Ranboo away from the conversation, and he leaves the call. Phil and Techno watch as Ranboo leaves the house, and then Techno tells Phil his news. He talks about how taking down L’Manburg wasn’t the greatest plan, especially as he’s only one person. He wants to bring other people to their anarchist ways.

Phil agrees to form a secret organization for anarchists, because they can’t fight ten to one.

Techno and Phil go to Ranboos house, asking for a feather, and Ranboo asks if he’s getting kicked out. They say no, and then Ranboo says that he has something that might get him kicked out.

He talks about how he sometimes doesn’t remember what he does, and that he was the person who blew up the community house.

Techno asks why, and Ranboo says he doesn’t know.

Phil and Techno agree that they don’t really care about the community house, and Ranboo continues, saying that he has one of the discs. Phil and Techno agree again that they don’t care about the discs at all.

Techno and Phil leave.

Techno leads Phil to a stronghold, which he calls a ‘structure,’ and they cover it with gravel to hide it. They enter the structure, and they find a library, some useless doors, and keep exploring, finding nothing. Techno is confused, thinking that there had to have been a reason for the stronghold's existence.

While looking at a connected Abandoned Mineshaft, Techno finds an enchanted golden apple.

They go into the lower parts of the stronghold, and they find a prison. Techno mentions that the bread he found earlier tasted around 2,000 years old, which gives us a rough (and joking) estimate of when the stronghold was made.

Phil finds a strange portal, and they talk about how advanced the previous civilization must had been, to be able to make unbreakable blocks. They hear a villager writing, and dig up to a strange room.

It ends up being the igluu where Orphans parents lived, and they start laughing, but then, DreamXD logs in. He breaks the portal, and then leaves. Techno begs dream to put the portal back, because it would’ve added to the lore, and that their characters didn’t know what it was, and were going to use it as a table.

Dream logs in again, and puts one (1) portal frame block down, and then leaves again. Phil tells Dream how to place the blocks incorrectly so they wouldn’t form a portal, and he logs in to place them back.

DreamXD hears Techno joking about going to the end, logs in, and then logs out when Techno says he’s joking. Then, Techno explains the difference between DreamXD and Dream, saying that DreamXD has canonical access to creative mode, and is like God, but Dream is just some homeless teletubby. DreamXD logs in, says ‘they actually are I am the protector,” and logs out.

In chat, Techno asks ‘who was that dram fanboy, how did he get whitelisted,’ and DreamXD logs in again, hits Techno with a sword a few times, and logs out.

Techno and Phil decorate the meeting room a bit, and they start talking about what the association should be called. Techno says that he wants it to be the ‘[blank] Syndicate,’ and before they can agree on anything, Ranboos nametag is spotted, and they agree to kill him if he comes into the meeting room.

Techno puts down a sign with the organization's motto, which is ‘Sic semper tyrannis,’ which means ‘thus always to tyrants.’

He starts writing in the manifesto.

“This syndicate is formed to promote anarchy and fight tyranny in all its forms.

“We shall have no Leader; no member shall be compelled to act if they do not choose to.

“No member shall reveal information about the Syndicate to outsiders.

“Technoblade shall serve as the Recruiter to induce new members into the Syndicate with Approval from a Majority of members.”

Phil and Techno leave the Stronghold, and realize that the Igluu wasn’t actually Orphans parents, but instead a different Igluu that Ranboo had been using for Cartographers. They go back to the house, planning to meet with Ranboo, but on the way, they find a strange tower made of stone. Its hollow, but theres no chests or anything inside. They continue and meet with Ranboo, who has gifts for them. Techno gets a Netherite shovel with Efficiency V, Mending, Silk Touch, and Unbreaking III.

He brings them under his house, and we find he has a ‘comfort room,’ made of netherrack, that has several mob heads on the walls, an extra set of armor, and pets sitting next to the ladder. They talk about the map on the wall, and Techno seems concerned, or a bit scared.

Techno and Phil leave the call, and talk about how extremely strange the room, and Ranboo, was. They recount their adventure, and move the villagers into a more efficient layout. Ranboo joins them after a few minutes, at 1:38:00, and they work on curing the zombie villagers and giving them jobs

Liveblog:

I love when technos computer says he isnt streaming so he just rambles about that before it says he does and then he does the starting the streammm thing. Also if u havent heard the starting the streammmm thing u r missing out it is amazin

Techno pls get a new laptop im gonna cry

HE SAID THREE HE SAID THREE if u dont know, techno says three v nicely

“I havent even shown you the secrets, how would you guys be able to snitch??” SIR????

Oh my god is he using his phone to read chat,,,,,i hate him i hate him so much u haVE 5 MIL SUBS AND CANT EVEN GET A SECOND MONITOR WHYY

Ranboo!!! Philza minecraft!!!!! Hi!!!

5:40 ‘why does it smell like gunpowder?’ Techno there is no smell in minecraft. Lore pog?

6:45 AKDFJGLSA RANBOOS FUNDY IMPRESSION IM

8:45 ‘any second now its gonna be 11 percent updated, and thats like halfway done, if you think about it’ adhd autism solidarity right there lmao

I dont think techno can physically pay attention to lore for more than a minute at a time. He just like, sees a dog and zooms in on it while someones talking and its such a mood. All techno know is get distracted, kill orphans, protect philza minecraft, and anarchy. Love him

10:45 he just got COMPLETELY distracted w his laptop im actually crying form laughter

So uh. 17 mins in. Techno (without saying anything). Kills a zombie that was trying to kill ranboo. Thats. Thats a thing he only does for people he trusts. Uhhh

Technos voice at 21:30,,,,,,hhghn why is he like this why is he randomally doing weird voices

26:35 ‘hacker voice: were in’ HGKDFJSL

Ok but techno making fun of doors is so funny tho. Also he rlly did go all out on the baby zombie bit tdoay im actually crying

Techno when phils being chased by two creepers, a few zombies, and skeletons: i do not see it

Techno when phils being chased by one (1) baby zombie: loOK OUT PHILZA MINECRAFT

42:00 god apple poggggg

45:50 techno sir why do u know what 2,000 year old bread tastes like

Dsmp techno :handshake: minecraft story mode techno

Hating doors

Dsmp techno :handshake: smp earth techno

Living right above a stronghold

48:35 ‘dude, they had all this super advanced technology because they didnt waste time trying to figure out how to make doors’ FSKHGJDAL

50:25 UH?? WHAT IS THAT LMAO

OH ITS ORPHANS PARENTS LMAOOOO

GDFJKHSL DREAM HI

51 MINS IN HGJSKDFJASL DREAM PUT IT BACK IT WAS A GOOD TABLE DREAM

56:25 ‘listen, I’ve read a lot of mythology Phil, and nothing bad has ever happened from angering the gods.’ You SURE about that?

I will actually never get over techno making fun of dream its so funny to me 1:01:10

I am so, so extremely queer for technos planning/schemeing voice like when its kinda quieter and deeper n slower? Hhgnn

Also is latin canon in this universe? Pog

Asmr Technoblade makes a cult :)

Ok ok ok ok SO i know that techno wants to make all the members equal (and i do think that hell try his best to make that possible) but bc hes just,,,so FREAKING powerful both in terms of pvp and resources, i feel like his opinion IS gonna matter more, but also im p sure hes the writer of the arc so like. He has more important opinions anyway so unless he is v obviously controlling the other members of the group, i think this could be a fun collab thing. And i am SO excited to see all yalls analysis for what other people think of him ahhHHH i love analysis.

1:17:10 “whose idea was it to make baby zombies stronger? Why are the babies stronger?? Have you ever fought a baby in real life? I have, and it was trivially easy to defeat, Phil.” TECHNO????

Also i can NOT believe that someone thinks techno doesnt use dark humor,,,,have u WATCHED his videos?????

1:25:05 Like literally RIGHT after he makes a joke abt how ranboos shovel’ll be good for digging graves for his enemies, which was taking soooo long before

Ah yes, technoblade, the 21 yr old child 1:28:40

[goraturtle]

I have a question google isnt helping and when I type in qu**r into scholarly databases...ugh. So I think its a slur but my social circle disagrees and is now saying ive been brainwashed by terfs into beliving that because im a young lesbian. I cant find the connection between terfs and qu**r being a slur. Like i have only heard it used in hurtful ways and seen it online be reclaimed. But online is a different world. If you have some links or terms I'd appreciate it!! Like im not dumb i just dont know what to look for when its buried under so much "its been reclaimed get over it terf" articles that explain nothing

Ugh, so first of all I’m sorry you’re dealing with that right now. Accusing ppl who see queer as a slur of being terfs is just another way for people to decentralize terf ideology away from its actual purpose of harming trans women, and I want to start out that ANYONE who uses that argument who isn’t a trans woman needs to take a long hard look at why they feel the need to accuse someone of something like that over an argument trans women aren’t even a part of. It’s also just a disgusting argument bc there are plenty of trans women who are uncomfortable with the label, and blanket calling everyone who feels that way a terf negatively affects them in a very real way.

The whole deal with calling ppl who dislike the word queer terfs, from what I’ve seen, largely comes from the age old “target lesbians” instinct, since most (not all) lesbians I know aren’t a fan of the ambiguity that the word queer introduces into our identities. A lot of people will automatically interpret and associate the lesbian community’s lack of attraction to men as an automatic terf signifier, and while the lesbian community (like all communities) does have its issues wrt transmisogyny + transphobia in general, to paint an entire community as transmisogynistic or to assume that every “I won’t date a man” statement is actually targeting trans women (I’d like to point out that’s a very transphobic assumption to make w/ no context) is lesbophobic as hell.

I totally understand ppl who want to reclaim it for themselves, but it’s very funny to me that so many ppl outright deny its existence as a slur and I can’t help but feel at least some of that is coming from ppl who have never actually experienced it as a slur (in which case... should they actually be ‘reclaiming’ this term?)

As for links, I’m honestly not sure I have anything for you, so sorry! A lot of what’s out there right now is largely corporate articles trying to defend their usage of the world by saying “hey it’s alright it’s reclaimed now even though a lot of people are uncomfortable with that!” and presenting one-sided arguments. There are plenty of older LGBT people who don’t use the word queer bc of trauma associated with its usage, and I’m sorry your friends are spewing that shit bc honestly it’s a careless and unkind stance to take over something as stupid as a word

[chemicalarospec]

A Look At Dan’s Recent Branding

AKA I Make Up a Bunch of Stuff About Media and Perception and Promotion and Branding and Say the Same Things Over and Over

I’m so sorry this is actually horrendously long. I’m a loquacious a$$hole.

So I started rambling in the tags of this post began thinking about Dan’s  presence recently. The reason so many of us fell for the red chairing was because it actually seemed possible -- perhaps not a proper joint video, but a cameo or side role.

Now that the video’s out, I can see it has very strong Solo Phil vibes, but I can still imagine a few different ways Dan could have been in it if he wanted to be. (Side note: It also feels like a run-of-the-mill, everyday, video, though seasonal, and not a festive special, despite the content. idk, I blame it on the lack of decoration and boring grey wall. cue clowning for more spoopy content though.) Dan is not in the video, so he must not have wanted to be in it. Why? 

Before I talk more, let’s just talk about “branding” for a bit. I use it interchangeably with “image”/”public image”/”public persona”/”common connotations”/”associations” here (kinda wrongly), but I default to “branding” because it’s what the phandom (possibly even Dan and Phil themselves?) use the most frequently -- “image” is perhaps the best-fitting term. Regardless, in a very general example, if Stephen King wrote a fluffy teenage romance book, it would be “off-brand” for him. That’s what we’re talking about here. Except with Dan and smaller differences.

It’s also worth noting that Dan and Phil were not always Dan-and-Phil -- I remember seeing an early liveshow clip where Dan says they’re not a double act. I’m pretty sure the radio show in 2013/early 2014 followed by the launch of the gaming channel in 2014 is when they became a “double act” --  the BBC absolutely billed them as such. 

You can see what I’m getting at here: Dan is trying to drop the “and Phil” in a softer way than he dropped the “isnotonfire” back in 2017. However, it’s definitely worth noting that he had already distanced himself quite a bit from it before the official name change, with first the shorter fringe and then the curls being a visual representation of that. And it’s probably just a mental thing on my part, but curly Dan now looks different from curly Dan-with-Phil.

Okay so first, why is he trying to change his image? Like his first evolution, a major component is being more mature -- llamas and malteasers didn’t simply not represent Dan anymore, they represented a younger, less mature Dan. He didn’t like it anymore. Does Dan not like who we view him as now? My first instinct is “no,” because his current connotations are fairly empty, but I don’t really know, so I’ll just move on.

What do we associate with Dan right now? i. e. what’s “on brand” for him? Well, again, there’s not a lot of strong specifics, at least for me. After two years for being nearly absent from the internet and very clearly growing a lot as a person, Daniel hasn’t talked enough for there to be only the basics left: tall, British, memes, and gay.

Okay, but the gay. Dan and Phil have been out for one year, but being part of The Gays is a pretty big part of their branding. This is because of their already long-standing reputation, more specifically their attachments to the community -- all those teenage girls turning out to be lesbians and, of course, the shipping.

The Gay is also an answer to the next question: What different aspects of his image is he pushing? Again, that he’s more mature and serious -- the UN talk, for example. I’m not counting the book here because that’s the product of the changes, not content being used to create a shift.

The big thing I want to focus on is the attitude video series. I’m very curious as to how this came about to be and don’t know enough details to say some things, but one thing I can note is that the plug for You Will Get Through This Night is a really small part of it. It’s literally the last thing he says, and they don’t even show the cover. It’s so skippable, and while it’s good that means they all really care about the important content of the series, it does create some questions.

To be honest, all of the attitude/This Night content is kind of strange to me. For example, the quote they used to promote it doesn’t mention the book, which just looks bad. This Night isn’t really the center of the collab -- it’s more general mental health awareness and activism.

So that’s the first thing Dan’s trying to put into his image. The podcast (Get Britain Talking or something like that) is, I feel, more directly part of marketing This Night, though of course, like with the video series, the content itself is emphasized and important and I should treat it as such.

Back to attitude. attitude is “the UK’s best selling gay magazine.” Why is Dan trying to build connotations to things he already is? No, but actually this gives insight on how he’s trying to be perceived: he’s a confident gay man. This magazine with its connotations (formal media, queer, well-established) will come up should someone new search up Dan -- obviously that’s not the direct reason; it’s a representation of his public image. 

Why is he trying to create this image? Right now, us in the phandom are probably 90% of the people tuned into Daniel’s actions. We’ve already built up a lot about him, and though we don’t want to admit it, we do like Dan-and-Phil, the double act. Overall, I do think Dan will not change our image of him as much as he’d like, but he has changed it more than we might think -- for example, people talking about how “mature” and “grown-up” he is in new photos. 

I think I’m just stupid, but these pushes don’t seem to be needed for You Will Get Through This Night. Okay so the problem here is “how do you get people to buy a book?” An author’s broader public persona doesn’t really impact this. I’m not going to hear about a mental health book written by an ex-Youtuber and search up the author. I’m not going to hear about a mental health book written by an ex-Youtuber in my normal book searching, period.

You know where I could see myself finding out about a book like this, and what would get people to buy the book? Doing mainstream interviews specifically about it; I’ll read TIME interviews with anyone, so long as it seems mildly interesting. But Dan’s not doing that, not a lot, not yet. (I bet he will later.)

I guess what I’m saying is the attitude video series is periphery media that impacts his branding but does not reach a large audience; it’s impact is atmospheric, not promotional.

(Dude it’s 10:30 at this point I’m not sure what I’m saying.) (also I rearranged these paragraphs sorry if it reads poorly)

Dan is a private person. He has made this extensively clear throughout the years and in the most recent content. What this means is I don’t believe he wants to update his branding just for the sake of accuracy to self.

So it’s (partially) for something else, but the public framing clearly goes beyond This Night. The obvious answer is that Dan’s just trying to return to the public eye, but then I still ask why???

The attitude series is not an end goal -- i. e. it is a building block for something. I mean, I just don’t think Dan’s like “yeah I want to create content again and this is the content I want to create,” simply because it started out seeming like an extension of the interview and now it’s clearly more than that, but it’s still like, for the magazine. It’s not his.

So what’s Dan going to do with this status of being a queer content creater and mental health advocate he’s curating? So remember how there’s a 99% chance he’s doing something w/ television but there’s been no official announcement? Yeah, that. 

I had a few paragraphs talking about book-adjacent media (interviews, reviews, ect.) vs television-adjacent media but all of it was me 100% making stuff up so it’s gone now. Basically, I *think* if he were to make a show, fiction or non-fiction, people would search him up and write a small description of him, and I *think* this is less likely for You Will Get Through This Night, so I *think* this reputation-building is in preparation of the former, not the latter.

Isabelle, you spent over an hour on this, do you actually have anything interesting to say?

Freaking *waves hands* promotional-- social dynamics-- what the heck actually is branding at this point-- Dan show.

TL;DR: It might just be the French in me (or just *my* French relatives?), but life is manipulation and Dan is trying to drop “and Phil” from his name and is manipulating his public image to be more mature, with a focus on being one of The Gays and a mental health advocate. Because it’s not vibin’ as This Night promotion/set-up, it is likely setup for promotion for another project, probably the TV one.

TL;DR 2: Just read the tags on the original post I literally didn’t have to say any of this except for “television theory”.

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

mod a’s lgbt musicals

Hi there! I’m a big theatre kid so I thought for pride month I’d put together a list of LGBTQ musicals. Despite its association with queer people, musical theatre is not known for its amazing representation. I’ve put together a list here of musicals I know of with queer characters. I’ve tried to avoid those where the queer characters are incredibly minor roles or those where the representation is just not good enough to be salvageable (*side eyes Legally Blonde*) I know there are many musicals I will have missed out but these are the ones I am most aware of. Feel free to add more! So without further ado, here it is.

Fun Home

The big Tony winner of 2015! Based on Alison Bechdel, a butch lesbian cartoonist. At the age of 43, she looks for new material by trying to explore her past and her relationship with her closeted gay dad. Looks back at a version of herself when she was 10 and a “tomboy” and at 19 when she came out and got her first girlfriend. Has very cute lighthearted moments as well as very sad moments. Has a beautiful song where small Alison sees a butch deliverywoman. Problems in that since the original broadway cast, Alison’s costume has got less butch. Content warning for suicide.

Here’s their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMAuesRJm1E

The Color Purple

Based on Alice Walker’s novel about black women in the 1930s. Follows Celie who has been abused by men her whole life who discovers she is a lesbian but also makes a journey of self discovery and learns to love herself. Her love interest is a bisexual woman. Won best revival at the Tonys in 2016. Content warning for discussion/implied sexual abuse.

Here’s their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k2xzQyT2bk

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

A teenage gay boy in Sheffield wants to be a drag queen and go to prom in a dress.Also a nice touch that is does not focus on him having a relationship (since he is sixteen) and him having to come out as he is already out. Focuses on his close relationship with his supportive mother. Has a diverse cast. Jamie is currently played by a black actor and his best friend wears a hijab and has a very diverse ensemble as well. Unfortunately has a part where Jamie responds to a homophobic bully by calling him a bunch of ableist and classist slurs.

Here’s a clip of the most popular song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7C3FuFWDdw

The Prom

Emma is a lesbian teenager in Indiana whose prom is cancelled by the PTA after she requests to bring her girlfriend to it. A group of Broadway actors come down to help her campaign to be allowed to attend prom, as well as styling her, helping her work on her confidence and educating the town’s people. What ensues is basically a two hour musical episode of Queer Eye. Cheesy and fun with so many musical theatre references crammed in. My one issue is that the show is rather harsh on people who are closeted since Emma has conflicted with her girlfriend Alyssa because she is not ready to come out.

Here’s a clip of their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGcG_r5xv3E

Rent

Probably the most well known on this list. Artists in New York during the AIDS crisis. Two of the main couples featured are queer: Maureen is bisexual and in a relationship with Joanne who is a lesbian, and Angel is a transgender woman of color in a relationship with Collins, a presumably bisexual man. However, she tends to be played bi cis men and there are instances of her being misgendered by the main characters uncritically. In Rent Live (2019), all instances of her being misgendered were removed and her gender identity was confirmed. She was played in this by Valentina, an nb drag queen and has also been played by Pose’s MJ Rodriguez, a trans woman. Very diverse with Jewish characters and people of colour and in the live show, only 1 of the 8 main characters was white. Has been criticised over the years, mainly for its biphobic portrayal of Maureen who is promiscuous and implied to cheat, but in the 90s did a lot for the LGBTQ community and is more progressive than a lot of media even now.

Here’s a clip of Maureen and Joanne from Rent Live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06oCfKYYPTY

And here’s some Angel and Collins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hl-M94o_x8

Falsettos

Marvin comes out as gay in the late 70s but decides to move his ex wife and son in with his boyfriend. Addresses AIDS crisis in Act 2. Has “lesbians from next door” in act 2. F Revived on Broadway in 2016. All of the characters are Jewish. Unfortunately, in revival casts, very few actors tend to be Jewish.

Here’s the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjnAHOdMQVk

Come From Away

In the aftermath of 9/11, 38 planes are diverted to a small town in Canada called Gander. Shows people of different races and nationalities bonding in a scary time. Addresses Islamophobia. Has one song called Prayer where prayers from different religions overlap. Has an interracial gay couple called Kevin and Kevin. They break up in the end but are very important characters. Won best direction of a musical in 2017. The Broadway production starred Jenn Colella who has referred to herself as ‘mostly gay’.

Here’s a clip of Jenn Colella singing a song from the musical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8ukgH6U-d0

Head Over Heels

Honestly I don’t quite know what this musical is about, even by reading the plot summary and listening to the soundtrack. I know it’s set in a Tudor fantasy world and that there are wlw couples as well as an explicitly non binary character, played by Peppermint, a trans woman, and that there are interracial couples and plus sized actors. It is a jukebox musical using songs by the Go-Gos and yes the wlw anthem that is Heaven is a Place on Earth is one of them. The soundtrack is fantastic even if you can’t follow what is going on.

Here are some show clips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx2qQ7QAPm0

Spring Awakening

German school kids in the 19th century discovering their sexuality. Two of the schoolboy supporting characters, Ernst and Hänschen, have a romance when they have a reprise of an earlier song in Act 2.  A BIG content warning as it has graphic discussions of rape and songs about it and a sex scene with very dubious consent. However there was a very wonderful 2016 revival using deaf actors and sign language.

This is another one you can very easily find the full show of on YouTube which I won’t link. However here’s the Tony performance for the revival: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSagsMcak4Q

If/Then

A woman named Elizabeth (originally played by Idina Menzel) moves to New York after a divorce and contemplated how different her life would be if she took two different paths. Four supporting queer characters. Her ex-boyfriend is bisexual and played by Anthony Rapp (who is bisexual in real life) and he gets a boyfriend in one timeline. Another of her friends is a lesbian called Kate who marries her girlfriend in the musical. Problems occur as in both timelines, cheating goes on in the lesbian relationship although they stay together in one. Elizabeth also says she doesn’t believe in bisexuals, a view no one ever challenges her on, however Lucas is very clearly bisexual which is some proof for the audience that she is wrong.

I’m not going to link it here but there are many very high quality bootlegs on it on YouTube if you want to watch,

Ghost Quartet

A bit of a weird one. This is more of a concept album. There are four performers who each play instruments and they tell the stories of many interconnected timelines. It is very hard to explain but there are souls travelling through time who keep being reincarnated as different people with different relationships to each other which usually end with one woman killing the other. In the song Soldier & Rose, the ghosts Rose and Pearl are lovers as Rose seduces the soldier for her honey.  In the song Four Friends, for one chorus the men sing “I like to put my hand on a pretty girls’s knee” and the women sing “pretty boy’s knee” and then they switch for the next chorus so they’re all bisexual. In general, a lot of fun if you like weird musicals and I mean really weird.

The full show is online: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJSaEJm8pCE

Mean Girls

Yes there’s a musical of it. I was not looking forward to it when it was announced but have actually grown to quite like it. It’s hardly lyrical genius but the songs are fun and a lot of the problematic aspects of the film have been fixed. Damian is more explicitly gay in the musical and sings about an ex boyfriend in one song. Janis is heavily implied to be a lesbian (confirmed by actress offstage) and she doesn’t end up with Kevin Gnapoor. She is played by a queer actress in the tour cast. Both queer characters are much bigger roles than in the movie and get several songs each. I’d consider the musical to be quite white feminist but it does address issues such as the sexualisation of teenage girls and the notion that to be ‘sexy’ is ‘empowering’.

Here’s a clip of one of Damian’s songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-zM6QKkxEQ

& Juliet

An English jukebox musical about what might have happened to Juliet in Romeo and Juliet if she had not died at the end. I haven’t seen it but I’ve listened to the soundtrack and it is mainly comprised of 21st century songs by women. One of Juliet’s best friends is non binary although is played by a cis man as far as we know. Also I went to the same school as one of the actors which is a bonus for me. Very diverse cast.

Here’s a trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm2k9nS3o20

In Transit

A capella musical about several people’s adventures on New York public transport. Two of the main characters in this ensemble cast are an interracial gay couple where both are pocs. They are engaged but one of them is having trouble coming out to his mother. I found it refreshing in that his fiance for the most part was not upset with him at his struggles in coming out and they were both able to live fulfilling lives despite this. I am always astonished by the talent of a cappella singers.

Here’s a trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhvik6qoass  Another one where the bootleg can be found very easily on YouTube

Firebringer

Remember A Very Potter Musical? Well, the company that did that are still putting out new pieces of theatre on their YouTube channel. In 2016, they put out their ridiculous comedy musical Firebringer, about a group of bisexual cavewomen. I won’t spoil the ending but trust me, it’s great. You may know it from the viral clip of one of the main characters singing ‘I don’t really wanna do the work today.’

You can watch the full musical here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmVuNlu0LCk

Special Mentions

Company

Musical by Stephen Sondheim about a man unable to commit to a relationship, surrounded by his friends who are all in couples. However, the award-winning 2018 West End revival chose to change the genders of some of the characters. The main character Robert became ‘Bobbie’ (although all of her love interests were gender-swapped as well). One of the originally M/F couples became an M/M couple. It opened on Broadway for about a week before the Covid outbreak so that will be one to look out for.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtDK03y4gT0

In the Heights

A musical by Lin-Manuel Miranda about the Latin American community living in Washington Heights in New York. The original theatre production has no explicitly queer characters. However, in the upcoming movie version (that was meant to be released this summer but has been pushed back to next summer) it has been confirmed that the characters of Daniela and Carla (Daphne Rubin-Vega and Stephanie Beatriz) will be explicitly a couple.

I absolutely love this musical and the trailer for the movie looks beautiful check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0CL-ZSuCrQ

[got2ghost-archive]

ten ships and why!! I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain AHH THANK U I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS SHIT

Half of my list is childhood best friends to lovers let's GOOOO

1. drarry

*deep shuddering inhale* I have thought abt draco and harry being foils before I even reached double digits. they could have saved each other and had so much potential to even just be FRIENDS!! if j*r wasn't like that, then she could have actually made a meaningful impact on draco early on. abt how you don't have to be your parents! and how to heal!! anyway I love them any way shape or form. I love reading dark gritty fucked up stories about them just as much as I love reading domestic silly fluffy stuff for them. draco would NOT put up with harry's bullshit and harry would NOT go easy on draco either but they're ultimately just two lonely boys who grew up in fucked up households who have much more in common than they realize!!! LIKE!!

2. wangxian

yes they're a new one but God their love extends so deeply. yes they r basically Chinese fantasy Kirk/spock!!

lan zhan is so in love w wei ying and is so devoted and everything he does is action or acts of service which js very much my love language!! but he also feels a deep sense of obligation to the rules and codes he's learned?? and wei ying loves lan zhan but it takes him a long time to accept it bc he DOESNT BELIEVE HE IS DESERVIG OF LOVE despite being so GOOD. AND THEY NEVER TALK TO EACH OTHER OR COMMUNICATE THEY WAY THEY SHOULD!!!! AND HE DIES and LAN ZHAN IS JUST. REPENTENT FOR 16 YEARS AND RAISES HIS SON AND IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD AND MISERABLE BUT THEN WWX comes BACK TO LIFE and they get to try again AND THEY GET TO BE HAPPY???? ANYWAY ACTS OF DEVOTION I!!!!

3. soriku

I've genuinely thought abt them since I was TEN when the first kingdom hearts game came out but it didn't solidify until KH2 came out when sora has to search for riku the entire game and when he finally does RIKU DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE HIMSELF BUT SORA STILL RECOGNIZES HIM ANYWAY AND HOLDS HIS HAND AND CRIES. THAT SHIT MADE ME GAY! I had never witnessed such tenderness and they are so inherently queer and subtle that it's one of the first stories I ever saw myself in. on top of that I also read that doujinshi that I consider Canon and it's so!! childhood best friends! with big complicated feelings of jealousy and betrayal and possessiveness when you start to grow apart from the person you care about the most!! and in game they're slowly... circling to become end game? the entire story revolves around them saving each other and RIKU LITERALLY CALLING SORA HIS MOST PRECIOUS PERSON? AHHHHHH

4. sterek

I will never forgive what the show did but the Fandom and the writing from that fandom is incredibly important to me. they're like my comfort pairing and I just love that Derek is sad and grumpy but it's because he's fucked up and needs to go to therapy and stiles is also kind of fucked up but happier and he's smart and beautiful and!!! they were obviously attracted to each other!! almost all of their stories involve CONSENT or Derek hale getting better slowly. they mean a lot to me bc my mom was dying while I clung to this fandom and wrote my grief fic and I always associate them with that time in my life. I could and did read like 30 stories abt Derek doing laundry and buying wooden spoons and trying to move on and be a healthier happier person.

5. taagnus

rarely have rare pairs but this is one of them and!!! look. I didn't ship them until the last two arcs of the show revealed that instead of only knowing each other for a few years and being idiots they in fact knew each other for 100 years+ and DIED A LOT together and saved each other. BUT COULDN'T REMEMBER IT YET THEY STILL KIND OF... FALL IN LOVE AGAIN? they balance each other so much. magnus is magnus - brave and GOOD. taako is so closed off, careful abt trusting people so when he acted on gut instinct to LITERALLY THROW HIS SOUL OUT OF HIS BODY TO SAVE MAGNUS I was hooked. I know that taako ends up w kravitz but bc we didn't get to see Krav much I couldn't grow attached to him? I love the thought of first love and exploring that - how it never goes away, really but you can still love other people!! plus! I love writing them as lesbians! they're butch/femme to me!

6. ruth/debbie

UGH. UGH!!!!! they're so obsessed with each other and it's so filled with repression and anger and betrayal thst has nothing to do with Ruth fucking her husband and everything to do with the trust of their friendship. it's such a complicated weird fucked up intense 'friendship' that I love to see and like!! sometimes my friendships w women FELT like that. the times I have felt the most hurt is when I lose a friend bc a part of me is in love w them in some way!! Ruth and Debbie are just. in love. though. and Ruth is never gonna admit it and she's gonna... be in a comp het relationship even tho she thinks Debbie is smart and sexy and she idolizes her GOD.

7. gene/finny

YES MOST OF MY PAIRINGS ARE SAD WHAT OF IT? I read this book as a sophomore in hs and I simply could not stop thinking abt how gay and in love they were. FIRST OF ALL THE metaphors!!!!!! gene as winter and finny as summer!! and how codependent and weird they were even tho finny KNEW gene broke his leg. he didn't want to believe it bc he WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. THEY WENT ON A DATE TO THE BEACH? THE PINK SHIRT? finny being the embodiment of childhood innocence and Gene literally breaking that? and killing it? once again I just love reading abt how complex jealousy is and where it comes from and also REPRESSION!!!

8. forrden

yes I'm including my own OC with @dosalesbian

I wrote abt them for FOUR YEARS. they're childhood best friends who fall in love and marry and are in love no matter what universe and are so soft and tender and healing. forrest goes thru a lot of gender exploration and aiden is just the partner I want to be!! he's goofy and LOVES HER SO MUCH AND SUPPORTS HER SO MUCH GOD!!!!

9. kuroken

they r a new one and yes once again childhood best friends but in a FUN NEW WAY that I want to explore. kenma is like disinterested in most things except gaming and whatever kuroo wants to do and has a hard time socializing bc he's SHY and is too observant! and kuroo is big and dumb and passionate but was also a stupid anxious child. I think they're those friends who are dating but don't even know they're dating or their relationship is so indescribable to themselves and others that it's hard to take any step forward or backward bc theyre SO codependent and yes. I want to explore that and read abt them more.

10. don't look at me yes im putting ryden on here

THEY WERE IN LOVE BUT COULDNT ADMIT IT AND THEN BRENDON WROTE 3 BREAKUP ALBUMS ABT RYAN? AND RYAN RELEASED A SONG THE SAME WEEK BRENDON GOT MARRIED? they're never gonna be friends again bc they can't just be friends

okay!! I tag @scottspack @dosalesbian @pattern-pals hehe

[skinfeeler]

meandering diary post, or the melancholic tale of my 24-hour completely onesided romance in the context of the human condition

[[MORE]]

i've been a member of a student organisation for queer people for about half a year now. this means that i hadn't attended an introductory period yet — once an academic year, at the start of it — but that i knew basically everyone who organised it.

after a few days of miscellaneous activities that were mostly 'okay' (minus a drunk fall of my bike at some point) i knew a couple more people. still, it was nothing like the summer camp at the end of it.

the first 90% of the journey was by train. i shared four seats facing each other with three other people, including a girl who was slightly taller and a bit older than me. she had brought a wine bottle and so it happened that the four of us already started drinking at about 15, not even at the camp yet.

we got along though— especially this girl and i. we talked a bunch about the kinds of exercise/sports we like. she was my second round that day in explaining the rules of roller derby, i can do it in about 20 seconds now with the help of the images from the 'basics' section of this article: http://mtlrollerderby.com/the-rules-of-roller-derby/?lang=en w

e also talked about gender a bit. it went all right. we had a later conversation in our bunk that day where we really bonded, about trauma too and all that stuff.

"we have a bond, i think."

that was later though, for now i was still on my way. at some point i turned inwards as i sometimes do and during one of the transfers while outside she pulled me away and asked me if i was all right. i explained that i just have a few issues and that sometimes they played up. she gave me the big scarf she was wearing and told me to put it over my head and narrow my field of vision that way, just kind of hide in it. that that's what she does when she's not well. that was nice of her.

we missed the train-bus connection because we went to the supermarket of the small remote village to buy more wine, but we got picked up by a second bus a bit later.

once at the place i changed into a sexier outfit and instantly felt more confident. this was immediately crushed once people started making (completely benign) jokes about std tests. i started thinking about my own test and the rape that happened before it and just went sit somewhere with a beer bottle to be sad. one of the people who i knew was an organiser but didn't personally know asked me if i was all right and i stood up and tried to ask if we could go outside for a bit, but didn't manage to speak because i was already crying. fortunately he understood the cue. i told him about that i got triggered and he made sure to make it clear to me that the committee would do its best to look after me if i allowed him to tell that sometimes i get like this, with them not having to know what exactly. i took him up on the offer, and it helped that subsequently an organiser would occasionally come to me when i lost my vibe, which was quite often.

but in that moment just knowing people actually take it seriously was enough, and i told him that the best thing now would probably just be to rejoin the party and chug my beer, and so we returned inside and so i did.

a while later i lost a good portion of my energy again. in a fateful moment, i decided to go back to my room which i shared with others. my new friend was talking about speed with another girl, who ended up giving it to us.

"i'm done with this crap. you can have it if you want to."

i don't have the required associations to procure anything like this myself, so i thought i'd not pass up on the opportunity.

the four of us went back downstairs.

first i was cold, tired, and dull. now i possessed immense warmth, energy, and clarity, almost immediately.

i asked my friend if this is about what i should be feeling. she told me it was, but also immediately switched to her more caring tone and that i should be careful.

"if you ever want to try something, you can always do it at my place."

sounds like a fucked up bid to get me in a vulnerable situation, but given the context and her general conduct i am certain she really was just caring about me in a slightly dark way.

there were drinking games that we played in teams, in most of them chugging alcohol fast combined with skills of physical dexterity was determinant. in my current state, i was absurdly good at both on top of my usual degree of mastery and won us the tournament. it was nice to get cheered on lots— it was cool to be in a parallel dimension where suddenly the skills i had were brought up a number of times in the days after.

i had a great night. i hadn't been (that) happy in months. every moment my body was bursting with energy. i love dancing, and i especially love dancing when weird fellow mental cases who have taken it upon themselves for reasons i don't understand grasp both my hands, pull me in, and keep me very close to them. later we sat on a couch and i leaned against her and it was very nice. every time i asked her if she was uncomfortable she pet my head for a bit, so obviously i was instantly in love.

alcohol disables your mental safeguards and this can backfire. cigarettes just make you slow. speed simply solved every problem instantly.

we danced until 0400. after that we were offered a joint by someone and we passed that around in a circle so we could sleep better. it worked very well, but by the time we went to bed, it was simply almost time to get up, and they don't fuck around with schedule at student camps.

i woke up in agony because the day before i went on camp i had a really intense derby training, and when i dance, i really love to bring my hips into it. everything between my waist and knees was searing, burning, i had to stretch and massage until i took the edge off enough that i could convince myself that i wasn't injured. the night before i hadn't felt anything at all. obviously i was also more hungover than ever before, but like, whatever. because i value a varied diet and a rigorous exercise routine, i decided to take it easy from thereon, only start drinking in the evening, et cetera. i was already going to skip sunday training for this, and additionally there are a few resistance training goals that i want to meet in the near future.

these three felt otherwise. they would go on to drink all day. it was very difficult to talk to any of them, although they seemed to be having fun though. i was kind of bothered that i couldn't talk to this girl meaningfully at all anymore at some point, so during that day and the last day of camp i kind of stopped feeling something for her entirely, which was very odd, completely unlike how it usually goes for me.

we played some games, including a quiz. my team won the quiz, but not the other game.

that night most of my acquaintances were absent for the first part. the sweet autistic metalhead i met earlier had gone to her one-person bedroom to decompress, the three from the start were apparently on a walk that i couldn't safely participate in, the others were fuck knows where. i was in a really, really bad mood. i knew that speed would solve all my problems, allow me to join the dance party going on. instead i wasted away on a couch for a while.

then there was dinner, and then an awards show. two games won (the beer game counted) meant i was called in front twice and won a shot of hard liquor as a price, thus twice in a row. very convenient for my fealty to fitness, but at least nice.

afterwards, a number of friends were periodically back on the dance floor in shifts, and the shots were doing their job. the nice thing about shots is that they mean you don't constantly have to piss as with beer, so they made a nice base for the rest of my consumption that night.

i found my new favorite pop song dancing with the girl who i have a particular unbreakable fealty to— that resultant from me breaking down in her arms about a girl not liking me back earlier that year lol

that girl would eventually do some things to me that would present one of the main causes of me at times completely turning inwards and become unable to talk to people, simply looking on and knowing my humanity has been taken away from me by many people.

but right there, dancing, knowing i was surrounded by people who care about me even if i am nothing like then, i was doing just fine, despite having quietly had a mental breakdown on that couch where everything at once played up.

eventually the music selection turned to shit and i decided to do the smart thing and have six hours of sleep instead of two. some sweet angels made sure to coax me into drinking lots of water.

"you'll be grateful in the morning."

a decent night, minus the transmisogynist components of some sketch one of the members of the previous committee did. i'll talk to her about it soon and i'm confident she'll understand how it was hurtful— i had a drunk conversation with two other girls in the restroom about it and they were fully behind me and encouraged me to do this.

the next morning almost everyone was still drinking, despite the fact that most of the day we would just spend in a bus bringing us back from the middle of nowhere.

at some point i sat down on a couch and for the first time in days, took out my ear buds and listened to some music i like.

it was cathartic and i had a particular kind of realisation.

i had spent an entire alcohol getting fucked up to music i could only tolerate there and then, under bright lights and with accompanying alcohol. drinking the kind of alcohol i don't like drinking because it's what was available, hanging out mostly with people with whom i have very little in common. in general, kind of losing myself.

i knew what i needed to do, what i can do soon. all i need to do is get out of this house to a better place, get my painting station set up, keep being involved in the roller derby, and maybe somewhere along the lines i would figure stuff out for myself.

of course, there are certain social circumstances that need to happen to me too, but i certainly can't do that while inert.

i had skipped the derby's general member's meeting on friday. it was the only one of the year, and i really wanted to attend. they were discussing attendance policies, and i feel i could've really learned a lot about the members of the league from that. debates about derby as its own reward and assuming the inherent joy of cooperation versus a dedication to structured sustained development and competitivity, or any of the ways one could frame that.

i had missed a training, when i had immediate short-term goals that i could have fulfilled that training.

the other rookies like me, and so does the trainer. not because of my ability to chug alcohol really fast — although i intend to impress them at the party we apparently have soon — but because of my dedictation, fervor, and general attitude.

maybe there is a common source to the fact that i can dance better than i can talk and that i feel i'm more meaningfully together with people when i'm on wheels than when i'm not, generally speaking at least.

it feels like there's a rift between me and the rest of humanity, but a little less on the track than most other places.

but then speed also helps.

it helps everything. it makes me feel happy.

but i know i can't actually take this as often as i would need without fucking myself up. still, on our way back, alienated and exhausted, i was constantly craving it.

when we got out of the bus and a people hugged me goodbye, i did meditate for a bit on the fact that i did create many new bonds. maybe i'll get more out of them than i felt by the last day, but it's complicated.

and now i'm at friends who fed me and gave me weed to finally fucking calm down. it's all right.

i miss my friends in london who i feel separated from only by distance.

[radiqueer]

I think u blocked me. So i cannot comment on ur post and so am reluctant to engage in good faith. Anywho # of people you're attracted to is a made up axis of oppression that lacks structure. Biphobia is super real, monosexism obfuscates the problem and studies don't distinguish between bi men/women, cis or trans and don't control for race or locality. So monosexism just allows for festering bitterness in community to grow.

Seen multiple lesbians be afriad to tell their bi friends about their sexuality because of the monosexism thing/get mocked for it. huge problem/caused tension in our queer women's group in university, because no1 wanted to fight. Still avoid bi ppl w/o knowing what they think about it, because its a p harmful framework for me as poor/black/mentallyill? But also les. bi ppl have just laughed it off? Im the demo that wasn't controlled for in the studies, and correlates with common bi demos.

you know what makes it hard to engage in good faith? the fact that I blocked you and you tried to get in touch with me anyway. quite frankly I don’t want to respond to this at all, but there’s some points I want to dismantle and this is as good a place as any so I guess you’re in luck. such as your luck is. but don’t expect much patience from me. 

I wrote a twitter thread about monosexism and biphobia which you can read

now lets take your arguments one by one

# of people you're attracted to is a made up axis of oppression that lacks structure

all axes of oppresion have their flaws / ‘lack structure’ as you put it. there’s nothing about monosexism that makes it less coherent than any other axis. also, not every axis of oppression is going to be comparable to every other. that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk about them or that they lack meaning. 

studies don't distinguish between bi men/women, cis or trans and don't control for race or locality

I’m going to defer to @autismserenity here because gem has written a lot of really good posts about these things and I personally lack any background in stats but I can direct you to where gem added stuff to my post. 

so uh. just from skimming that addition I can tell you’re Wrong. 

monosexism just allows for festering bitterness in community to grow.

this exact same argument was trotted out about cissexism try again

addressing your entire second ask as one:

there’s nothing about being poor/black/mentally ill that make you an expert on a bisexual experience. or the bisexual experience with those exact things. and you do not and cannot know what a poor black mentally ill bi woman goes through because you are not! bi! you don’t know!

and quite frankly I really don’t enjoy coddling your feelings on this matter because as far as i can tell they boil down to ‘bi women in my life won’t let me deny them words to talk about their experiences and this makes me sad’ which in general I am not sympathetic to and why the fuck would you expect me to be.

...anyway. it looks to me like you’re having a sort of trauma reaction to bi women and monosexual stuff so uh. generally speaking it’s quite easy to associate like, a certain group with your bad experiences with that group but you need to remember that this is not your most logical train of thought speaking and that its also like, your problem, in much the same way that my hyperawareness around lesbians is my problem and not the problem of whatever random lesbian I meet.

I’d advise you to disinvest from the idea that monosexism is a slight against You Personally and also perhaps extend a little more compassion to the bi women around you. it’s fair to expect some understanding and compassion back. but asking bi women to give up their words for your comfort is :/