#sorry anon! i dont have anything except this wisdom: your friends suck

[goraturtle]

I have a question google isnt helping and when I type in qu**r into scholarly databases...ugh. So I think its a slur but my social circle disagrees and is now saying ive been brainwashed by terfs into beliving that because im a young lesbian. I cant find the connection between terfs and qu**r being a slur. Like i have only heard it used in hurtful ways and seen it online be reclaimed. But online is a different world. If you have some links or terms I'd appreciate it!! Like im not dumb i just dont know what to look for when its buried under so much "its been reclaimed get over it terf" articles that explain nothing

Ugh, so first of all I’m sorry you’re dealing with that right now. Accusing ppl who see queer as a slur of being terfs is just another way for people to decentralize terf ideology away from its actual purpose of harming trans women, and I want to start out that ANYONE who uses that argument who isn’t a trans woman needs to take a long hard look at why they feel the need to accuse someone of something like that over an argument trans women aren’t even a part of. It’s also just a disgusting argument bc there are plenty of trans women who are uncomfortable with the label, and blanket calling everyone who feels that way a terf negatively affects them in a very real way.

The whole deal with calling ppl who dislike the word queer terfs, from what I’ve seen, largely comes from the age old “target lesbians” instinct, since most (not all) lesbians I know aren’t a fan of the ambiguity that the word queer introduces into our identities. A lot of people will automatically interpret and associate the lesbian community’s lack of attraction to men as an automatic terf signifier, and while the lesbian community (like all communities) does have its issues wrt transmisogyny + transphobia in general, to paint an entire community as transmisogynistic or to assume that every “I won’t date a man” statement is actually targeting trans women (I’d like to point out that’s a very transphobic assumption to make w/ no context) is lesbophobic as hell.

I totally understand ppl who want to reclaim it for themselves, but it’s very funny to me that so many ppl outright deny its existence as a slur and I can’t help but feel at least some of that is coming from ppl who have never actually experienced it as a slur (in which case... should they actually be ‘reclaiming’ this term?)

As for links, I’m honestly not sure I have anything for you, so sorry! A lot of what’s out there right now is largely corporate articles trying to defend their usage of the world by saying “hey it’s alright it’s reclaimed now even though a lot of people are uncomfortable with that!” and presenting one-sided arguments. There are plenty of older LGBT people who don’t use the word queer bc of trauma associated with its usage, and I’m sorry your friends are spewing that shit bc honestly it’s a careless and unkind stance to take over something as stupid as a word