#bonehagramblin

[evilbonehag]

Do houses have hearts anymore? Like if the fireplace or the hearth is the heart of the house, and a lot of houses (in the US anyway) got rid of fireplaces, what is the new heart of the house? Is it the electrical panel? I guess the circuit might be the veins and the electricity the blood, so it must be that, but I dont know a lot about that so I’m taking suggestions.

[evilbonehag]

I LOVE WHEN THE SHIP HAS A SMALLER GUY AND A BIG FAT GUY. I LOVE WHEN THEY ARE BOTH INSANE.

[evilbonehag]

Every time an older adult, especially a woman, compliments my taste, I get a lil achievement over my head. “Wow you like the old school stuff!” “I haven’t heard of those since I was a teenager.” “I remember when that song came out!” YES infodump about MTV and radios and old cars to me. You are so cool and interesting. I wish I had known you when you were my age. I hope we would have been friends.

[evilbonehag]

Bluh hi im alive howre we all

[evilbonehag]

Do I HAVE to make my characters explicitly non-men for people to understand that theyre lesbians. Shouldn’t people just understand I’m a dyke and therefore everyone is a dyke too or am I being unrealistic

[evilbonehag]

Do we think Eddie would try to “adopt” children if he happened upon any kids wandering around (a la Mother Gooseberry?) or is he just so obsessed with birth and consummation of marriage that he’d just kinda be blind to them maybe?

[evilbonehag]

If I could go back in time and be a little girl again I would want to be a billion times less well behaved because I think theres a certain magic in a kid who chooses to be a problem

[evilbonehag]

So my thoughts recently have been these:

• queer masculinity got watered down and pushed out of queer spaces and its annoying to see the aftermath bc everyone wants a domtop daddy partner but is grossed out by like. Idk body hair? Cargo shorts? Ill get back to you on that

• we have this weird breed of transmascs who dont necessarily want to admit that they have the privilege of being transmasculine in relation to transfems (something youre able to have while also being affected by transphobia and misogyny as separate events, just not transmisogyny bc thats not rlly how it works)

• a weird breed of queer people who dont want to be assertive or dominant or capable of like?? Anything at all? ‘I cant do the dishes im neurodivergent’ or whatever? So this weird avoidance of responsibility, accountability, independence, even in sexual situations (see top shortage, whatever that is)

• a weird fear of penises which most people associate w/ masculinity and therefore the transmisogyny that ensues because of that

• inability to communicate, organize, or basically behave like adults because of like. Idk the fear of being wrong? Why do I feel like a lot of other transmasc queer folks ive met irl recently have the tendency to be weird and catty ?

• competing victim mentalities, trauma olympics etc. instead of a focus on healing from wounds. The weird sense of individualism some folks get about mental illness, individual trauma, what have you. Something that singles you out from the crowd or excuses you from accountability instead of something you can use to relate to other people w/ the same issues or a way to help you like. Look at yourself and your habits better.

• people who dont want to put effort into friendships, bad faith, not wanting to give help without immediate reciprocation?

Weird relationships between capability, masculinity, bioessentialism, responsibility, and community maybe? I think we have a lot of queer transmasc folks who dont feel comfy w/ their own masculinity (or assertiveness or dominance or things we associate w/ masculinity in the West ig) because they believe any connection to masculinity/men/ whatever is like. Inherently evil maybe? Because misandry? Fear of perceived masculinity? Idk? Help?

[evilbonehag]

All “I will die your daughter.” Characters are transgender to me talk to the wall.

[evilbonehag]

Ohmygod Ithink I might be into giantesses

[evilbonehag]

Personally I think that Crystal Winter should have been Inuk and Jackie and her brother are Sámi thank you goodbye

[evilbonehag]

The Outlast Trials but its just Leland Coyle in a jar and I toss in all of my favorite characters to kick his ass and murder him in gruesome ways

[evilbonehag]

I wanna join an Outlast discord but Im so scared ppl are gonna be weird abt the fact that I like Val bc she and Marta and a lot of the other outlast gals r sometimes afterthoughts and its :;( im sorry they r my faves. Also I am rlly pro fic and somehow there r some outlast enjoyer spaces that r weirdly anti which makes no sense to me but like OKAYYYY I GUESS

[evilbonehag]

I think I love womanhood so much BECAUSE I see it as a deliberate choice and a process that one practices and improves upon every day in whatever way makes them comfortable. I love that it is meant to be something enjoyable instead of a burden or a violation or something that is just plopped on your doorstep with a wet and disgusting squelch, like it was for me. I love womanhood because I chose not to do it- wasn’t for me- but there are so many women out there who did. Who made the very brave and active decision to look at a world who hates and devalues and minimized women and girls and went ‘how bout I do it anyway and I’ll do it however I goddamn want because being a woman is freeing and lovely and makes me happy’. Even though the world looks at girls and tells them they cant have their cake and eat it too. This is part of why I’m a lesbian I think. My attraction to women is actually probably less than my attraction to non-men/butches, what have you. But by god I was raised by girls. I was raised by a mom who was tough as nails and soft as petals and I had the honor of getting to see two wonderful smart and bright girls grow up into young women and I did dishes with them and watched movies with them and played in the dirt with them and they will always be everything to me. I cannot have looked into the eyes of every girl I’ve ever known and not be filled with the heaviest ache to hold her hand and tell her how proud I am of her that she’s here. I hope every awkward and sweet girl I ever met in school who didn’t know she was a girl yet carves herself out of the mountainside of the gender she didn’t ask for, and emerges as whatever woman she wants to be someday. I hope because I cannot experience it, that because I never put on makeup or called myself a woman and didn’t feel weird about it, that there are a million other women who find their freedom there. I think I love women who make their womanhood something they love.

[evilbonehag]

Your personal “aesthetic” should ideally be curated from symbols and messages you see woven into the threads of your life’s fabric and the narrative of your family history

[evilbonehag]

Jam gender unlocked: I really think I’m just equal parts boy and girl and I’m afraid of the girl part but I think reintroducing she/her pronouns to the environment would be beneficial