#i fear for all of our lives
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ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, I have been convinced
I shall watch it in like fifteen minutes
Its been so long my dear Link Click, how I have missed you
#how I have missed you abd the constant heart attacks you give me#goodness gracious the stress this show puts me through#I’m also gonna watch this because I think the opening was released#And I MUST see it soon or I’m gonna lose my mind#But I know if I watch it without finishing the season I’ll probably be spoiled and things won’t make sense#We have a mission folks before the year ends. I shall finish Link Click#I stay before the year end because I very easily get distracted#As you all can tell#cheng xiaoshi#lu guang#qiao ling#link click trio#link click#aghhhhhhhhh#I just know these next few episodes are gonna put me and them through the absolute ringer#i fear for all of our lives#i truly do
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get Apollo'd idiot @sheerunfilteredhubris
#[.art]#^ if the didascalia is unclear this is meant to be a portrait of sorts. Of my friend. Technically of the greek god too but same thing#Juno#<- goes in my tags soley in this way I don't have a clue of what else to put on here#with added closeups! This took me one afternoon and some. I think about four hours in total if I add up all the last-minute editing#it was going to have a more complex background but it ruined the constrast and the shapes got lost in it so I had to scrap that#alas I don't think this will work as a way to achieve endless youth but we can't /all/ turn art into devil deals#no I'm not going to stop making that joke. I think it's hilarious.#also my soundtrack for this was the Hozier youtube automated playlist. we are not escaping with our lives I fear /j#is it neoclassical or more baroque? The main inspiration was the first but the harsher contrast reminds me of the second#ah well. You can tell me that. I can't analyse my own art#my art#greek mythology#classical mythology#painting#apollo#<- i'm putting these tags back here so it doesn't show up in the search it's just for my blog organisation
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walter white from breaking bad
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Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!
#my name is walter hartwell white. i live at 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104. this is my confession. if youre watching thi#s tape im probably dead. murdered by my brother in law hank schrader. hank has been building a meth empire for over a year and using me as#is chemist. shortly after my 50th birthday hank came to me with a rather shocking proposition. he asked that i use my chemistry knowledge t#cook methamphetamine which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. connections that he made through his career with the#DEA. i was... astounded. i always thought that hank was a very moral man and i was thrown. confused. but i was also particularily vulner#able at the time. something he knew and took advantage of. i was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. han#took me on a ride along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. and i was weak. i didnt want my family to#go into financial ruin so i agreed. every day i think back at that moment with regret. i quickly realized that i was in way over my head an#hank had a partner. a man named gustavo fring. a business man. hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man and when i tried to quit#fring threatened my family. i didnt know where to turn. eventually hank and fring had a falling out. from what i can gather hank was always#pushing for a greater share of the business to which fring flatly refused to give him and things escalated. fring was able to arrange uh i#uess you could call it a hit. on my brother in law. and failed but hank was seriously injured. and i ended up paying his medical bills whic#amounted to a little over 177000. upon recovery hank was bent on revenge working with a man named hector salamanca. he plotted to kill frin#and did so. in fact the bomb that he used was built by me and he gave me no option in it. i have often contemplated suicide but i am a cowa#d. i wanted to go to the police but i was frightened. hank had risen in the ranks to become head of the DEA and about that time to keep me#n line he took my children. for 3 months he kept them.my wife who up until that point had no idea of my criminal activities was horrified t#learn what i had done. why hank had taken our children. we were scared. i was in hell i hated myself for what i had brought upon my family.#recently i tried once again to quit to end this nightmare and in response he gave me this. i cant take this anymore. i live in fear every#ay that hank will kill me or worse hurt my family. i... all i could think to do was make this video in hope that the world will finally see#this man for what he really is.#breaking bad#walter white#your fave is an anime girl#your fave is#hall of fame
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Crazy wild shit man
#how are we straight up accepting the emmrich romance lich choice for how it’s written#does anyone feel me#hello???#no one else can see the inherent tragedy in this?#maybe I’m too mort ass pilled but um. trading away your life to escape death is no life at all#and why can’t rook be like. you killed yourself and took yourself away from me and now you have no skin for me to caress and no warmth for#me to share and though it’s still your consciousness you’ve a) gained a perspective I can never ever share and b) you have accepted#outliving me so thoroughly that I will be just a drop in the bucket of your life even if I get another good 50 years out of life.#why can’t I ask him is all this worth it without your heart????!??#why can’t I break it off?!!!???#why do I HAVE to celebrate this choice#emmrich volkarin#dav spoilers#and that’s not even getting into the philosophical questions surrounding fear and what it means to live like.#emmrich… has ocd. and I have no doubt that those fears are truly debilitating (despite this almost never coming up in the narrative)#and essentially this choice is one about how to deal with it. acceptance vs avoidance. and we see no consequences for either!!!#if he chooses to accept this fear as a part of him and work through it WE SHOULD SEE THAT WORK#he should struggle!! and that struggle should lead him towards making peace with that fear#AND!!#if he chooses to escape from that fear— to actively avoid ever resolving it— we should see him struggle with that too!!!!#molding your entire existence around this fear to the point you embody it… where are the emotional consequences for that!?#WHY DO I— AS SOMEONE WHO SUPPOSEDLY LOVES HIM— NOT GET ANY OPPORTUNITY TO PUSH BACK OR ASK SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS?!?#in a game about the tyranny of immortality… we can send our beloved to kill his mortal self to come back as an immortal husk.#and we’re not even allowed to be sad abt it the very next scene is some goofy cartoon shit at the lighthouse where every single person just#immediately accepts this reality and has no issues. not even taash 😭
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Thinking about Reverend Daughter Gideon again.
Like Harrow Nova is tragic on a outrageous level, two hundred murders that did nothing, but Harrow knew what her parents done when she was very young and the thought of a tiny baby Gideon learning that she should be dead but isn’t is just…. Her attempted murderers are now acting like her parents while their actual child (the only companion she knows) is treated like trash right in front of her.
Our Harrow tries to be the best because of massive guilt, that even though she knows she can’t ever make up for what her parents did she has to at least try. Reverend Daughter Gideon, however, would be driven by fear. The only thing that kept her above being treated like Nova is being a necromancer, if she’s a bad one she might just lose everything.
The fandom needs more Reverend Daughter Gideon is what I’m saying
#the locked tomb#Gideon Nav#our Gideon has no fear because she has nothing to lose#she literally only has her life and she’s perfectly willing to throw that away#but RD Gideon had it drilled into her head from a early age that she’s living on borrowed time#she’s supposed to be dead#our Harrow used Gideon as a whipping girl but I don’t think RD Gideon would#at least not in that way#because RD Gideon is well aware of what made her#and is all too awear that Nova is exactly what will happen to her if she fails#they still hate each other but they don’t try and kill each other I guess
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respectfully I need to climb him like a rope ladder and do him so good we both ascend into the clouds and never recover
#forever in a state of need for him that gets my feminist card revoked#i’m so HE IS JUST SO#he is EVERYTHING to me#the look on his face here is everything i dream of#so tender and approachable and vulnerable#yet with that inner strength that drives him and gives him such character#i feel like russell crowe poured every bit of his soul into maximus#there’s something so deeply human about him#something so deeply good and noble beyond the mere appearance of it#he’s a man who has fears and concerns and tendencies and blind spots and flaws#but also so motivated to do what’s right that all those other things are nearly forgotten#he loves his family his emperor his soldiers his home his ancestors and his honor#and he lives in a way so that he won’t disgrace any of them#and that constantly brings him into the spotlight because such a good man is so rare#i just!!! think he’s the best guy ever!#his face inspires me to write entire books of romantic poetry#i will write an epic of you my love#i will immortalize your goodness and strength#if he fixed this gaze on me i would be a puddle on the floor#that’s it jane is dead from an overload of handsomeness#obsessed with those big clear blue-green eyes and those little forehead crinkles and those wide shoulders#the face of a man who needs to be KISSED#and snuggled and caressed and loved on#i will!! i will love him if no one else will!#i will love him long after both our names are forgotten!#he’s so beloved by me he’s SO dear and precious to me#gladiator#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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If you're gonna be a thief stop stealing from other poor people struggling. We already have wealth hoarding fucks taking from us damn.
But I'm sure some people ain't ready for this conversation.
#us politics#politics#crime#y'all act as people in our community ain't victimizing us too#elderly neighbor got attacked by the addict son of another neighbor that was hiding them in their house from the cops#if i say anything im a hater cos we're supposedly “all good” to each other#i live in a former middle class neighborhood. a lot of these “fancy” houses are just inheritances that has poor people living them#damn criminals really want easy work by attacking unarmed/disabled/elderly#and it needs to be talked about without fearing “not being politically correct”
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george as max from:
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GeorgeNotFound & Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
#i love this book and movie with myentire heart it s just so damn beautiful n comforting n the movie soundtrack as well is SOOOOOOO LOVELY#george is so max to me in his crazyisms n wildness n lack of fear to just go out and LIVE. full of love he moved across the world for peopl#g is very inspiring to me in his daily insistence to just be himself n do whatever he likes n radiate his inner childish joy n adventurisms#just like max !!!! who sails away to an island full of wild things and has a blast. and i just think that is Very georgie and our dteamies<#theres so many moments in the film i was going oHHFHGFHUGHRUGH MY GOD at like. the script n dialogue bc so much Extra than the kids book#liek the yelling laugh match betbween max n judith is SOOOO SNF. LIKEIHRGIR maybe i do another post. who knows#if anyone enjoys this ..... hugs to u :')#i'll eat you up i love you so .............. “i have a sadness shield that keeps all the sadness out”-- george to dream ACHHH .....#my webs#georgie#where the wild things are#web weaving#compilations#georgenotfound
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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i can't fathom living in a stand-alone single family home. ive been alone in them and i felt lost; every noise that wasn't mine was a tense discovery waiting for me in one of the rooms i couldn't see, if not a potential intruder from the outside world. no wonder americans keep making movies about haunted houses! i wouldn't survive, not even with a pet to write off the noise. i need the comfortable cacophony of shared walls, floors, ceilings, to know there's other people around me and not just other ghosts, to know someone else is alive nearby, continuously affecting my life with theirs and perhaps even vice versa
#this isnt even getting into the actual intruder fears that are much broader and more agoraphobic in a home with all 4 exterior walls#my window is 4 floors off the ground and my front door is 4 floors away from being accessible to passersby. im arboreal baby!#but even without that — the stress of Knowing im alone and judging every noise within that context hits me every time#i cannot be freaking out about thumps and bumps in the walls whether its my neighbours or the building settling or even ghosts#personal#i told my first boyfriend when we were at his house and he looked at me like i had 3 heads. he'd never lived in flats before our shared one#bad neighbours will ruin your life shared walls or not. i prefer having the shared walls; we don't have to talk - just to be neighbours
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friendly reminder that if connor's golden chains come off, this is what you have to put up with And the DC is now 19 thanks to Connor getting stronger (It will likely cap at 21)
#yes my DM took control of my character for this when Connor went 'feral' and began to attack any and all living things in proximity#yes i had to sit on my hands and stress as my character proceeded to beat the shit out of his teammates#YES I WAS STRESSED but our party rogue got the chains back on#connor's stronger now so i fear how she's scaled it#misc facts;
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Doomsday Cult Christians when the Doomsday Cult ideology causes Doomsday anxiety in their kids:
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#I talked about it a lil on a different post but then I once again remember how my grandfather told me#that he believes that climate change is a thing that will harm the planet#but christians don't need to worry about it because you'll either die before it kills you and go to heaven#or you'll be protected from it and just live in the climate change ravaged world#watching the people around you suffer from it but magically being okay yourself#and he couldn't understand why that made me feel so much worse#he's also 82 so that could partially be it#and yes this is the same grandfather that made fun of me and our neighbors kid for attempting u know what#doomsday christians are so fucking terrifying#because they don't fear death in the wrong way if that makes sense#like they view this as the practice round of war before the spiritual war aka the rapture#so they feel like if people aren't suffering they aren't fighting and therefore insist on making people suffer#and the more you suffer the better heaven will feel or whatever#it's fuckin wild#even when I was a christian I was terrified of it all#ex christian#religious trauma
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good god girl, maybe some of us are not vegan because we eat chicken like once in three months?? Would reduction not be a more productive goal of vegan activism than outright banning? Like if your arguments are that animals are being eaten, then you’re being unrealistic about the entire actual concept of the food chain. Humans are omnivores, you do not need to change that to achieve your goals.
A vegan lifestyle is also entirely the product of your geographical location. If you live somewhere that shit does not grow, what are you going to do?? I just think about the difference between food options in India and Canada, for example. India: between the tropics (tropics and equator even, in fact). All-year-round sun, there’s pretty much always stuff growing. Different kinds of land will mean you can grow everything from staples like rice and wheat to vegetables, fruits and plantation crops. It’s reflected in the cuisines: Indian food has a much, much wider offering of vegetarian food, and many more Indians have restricted diets that more or less overlap with vegetarianism. Because crops grows. Locally.
Canada. Harvest in the fall, from November to March, your fields are practically unusable. Compare the prices of fresh produce in (and now I’m being generous to give you a highly populated, non-remote province here for an example) Ontario. Ontario has farms where in the fall you get fresh autumn vegetables and fruits. You’ll also get them in larger quantities. It is way cheaper, fresher and also uses less energy and fuel to transport the vegetables like 50 km from farm to market.
Come the winter and nothing grows. If you look at most vegetables you’ll find on store shelves in December or February, and most of it is either imported from warmer regions of the US (often the case for chains that are in both countries) or from South American countries (sometimes SA -> USA -> Canada). The importing has to go through cross-country customs, had to be driven for days, is less fresh or rich in nutrients by the time you get it, and is more expensive. Of course. And we all come out of it poorer. Is it any wonder why people will eat meat? We’re even talking here about a place like Ontario, very well connected on North American trade routes. Can you justify someone in Yukon deciding to eat meat over a $17/lb. green veg? Be for fucking real…
There simply cannot be a blanket-global solution to animal products. You’ve got to work with what your geography has to offer. It’s the same thing we say when we say that avocados have an environmental cost when you expect them to be available year-round in places they don’t grow. We encourage people to go for more local produce there, and I think the same should go for all parts of your diet too. If your animals are local, then their footprint is lower than importing kiwis from New Zealand to the US. I don’t see how that’s hard to understand.
#veganism#the first para is a rant bc someone was being an idiot but I mean the rest of it most sincerely:#YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH YOUR GEOGRAPHY#capitalism has you thinking the whole world Is this flat homogenous thing#and all things can be solved by ‘buying (new solution)!’ *Buy!* our new Vegan Leather and feel good about yourself!#(<- plastic that will end up in a dump as Indonesia’s problem; not the pontificating American vegan’s)#*~Buy!!~* our new honey substitute! 100% cruelty free by avoiding the bees; even as the bees literally continue to make honey anyway#(<- monocrop agave fields in Mexico can deal with your misplaced guilt for you 🥰💕)#Like. At least have the courage of your convictions and quit sweetener entirely if you’re#concerned about both cruelty (which honey harvesting is not but okay) and sustainability. Or switch back to sugarcane.#Unless of course sustainability is simply someone else’s problem 😊 (hi third world!!)#My problems with veganism the movement are also my problems with the west; you all are really fucking hypocrites.#We have to go cleaning up after you guys all the time. You HAVE to work WITH your geography; not against it#Plants are not some miraculous catch-all solution. And mate; you’ve got to kill a plant to eat it too#Plants are alive; trust me. If you don’t eat anything for fear of killing it you’ll either be living on roadkill and infect and die#or you’ll end up killing yourself out of not! eating!#; you can’t eat rocks. All food was once alive.
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in case anyone worries that I just said I've discussed walrus fairy with my partner for two hours, it's not a fight discussion, we're just two autism-bained academia suckasses and we LOVE getting into long profound discussions, and right now is "how the fairy/walrus dichotomy of humans reflects their stances on religion (my argument, I vote walrus) and ultimately proves how dangerous thought patterns lead to the prevalence of scams (his argument, he votes fairy)
#everyone in both families is always so thrilled that we found each other to finally leave the rest of the family members alone#one day if everything goes wrong in our lives we can always start a podcast lmao#neither of us shut up ever and I love us#im tagging all posts about this with#walrus fairy poll#so that I can bring this up to friends later at parties hahaha#oh my god this subject and our drunk also debate-freak friends are going to fuel HOURS#like Im gonna say possibly twelve?#once at a party him and one of our friends stayed up ALL NIGHT discussing with a religious bloke who believed in miracles#and by all night I mean the party ended and I had to sleep over at the homeowner's couch because they talked until the sun was up#we arrived there at like 10pm and we left 8 the next morning#and the discussion was not over#so believe me fairy walrus is gonna last FOREVER#They've spent 3 or 4 hours last time discussing the effectiveness or harm of farmers killing snakes out of fear
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So anyway I cried for 20 minutes after this -
#how have I never heard this audio before it gave me psychic damage#when I rewatch it I cry harder#As someone who spent years not living their life bc of extreme ocd this stupid line#We can't let our lives be ruled by fear. or else we never truly live#hit me like a fucking train#all of this#everything#I cant stop crying again#astarion bg3#astarion#bg3#bg3 spoilers#not art
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