#i dunno! i understand people being upset at all of the things they want not being included

[hugesword]

ok so. i actually want to talk about this a bit. yes it’s incredibly frustrating and as someone who would NOT be considered skinny it bothers me too. but a large part of the issue that prevents these things in games is that drastically altering the physical model has repercussions in other areas, such as how each individual piece of armor in the game would fit your character. things like horns, tails, eye and skin color (and yes, even genitals) have absolutely no effect on how armor fits on your characters body. drastic changes in body shape would also potentially cause problems for all of the animations for your character.

this is NOT to say that fatphobia isn’t a factor, of course it is. it always is. it’s more of an explanation of why this is so incredibly common in gaming when other customization options are so broad. in a game like BG3 the problem is multiplied exponentially, because each RACE also has different body types that already have to be accounted for on the hundreds of different pieces of armor in the game. the workload would simply be monumental.

and before anyone gets up in arms about modders being able to do it, a modder does not have to create literally every single aspect of the game. they can pick the one piece they were disappointed was missing and polish it to perfection, because they don’t have to work on every OTHER element that makes a game complete and functional.

Baldur's Gate 3 is a game where you can have purple eyes, horns, a tail, and fully animated genitals BUT you can't be fat

[bimbolita]

I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Jason being insecure (physically bc he’s not pretty boy Dick Grayson) and reader literally sitting and absolutely worshipping him. Telling him every single thing they love about him. Kissing every scar and tear, holding him close, letting him be vulnerable enough to be little spoon. Not NSFW, just pure fluff

Let Jason Todd process his trauma and insecurities 2k22

"You're so fucking pretty," you murmur, draping yourself over him like a weighted blanket, your head against his heart.

"Pockets-"

"How are you this fucking massive and still so fast?"

"I dunno," Jason said, the weight of you already sapping his will to move. Or protest. Almost like you pressed the tension out of his body- it was the only time feeling trapped felt good. Because it was you. And because he knew you liked laying on him. And he liked you being comfortable- and he liked having you close.

He wasn't sure at what point you had become his favorite teddy bear to hold but- he did it now, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing.

"All tough and shit and still such a big heart-"

"Baby if you want to sit on my face all you have to do is as-"

"No," you huff, sinking your teeth into his pec, just hard enough to leave a brief impression of your teeth. "I want you to understand that you're fucking pretty."

"I'm not-"

"You are though," you tell him, sitting back to look down at him, your bottom hovering above his hips. "You're pretty and I love you."

Jason felt himself melt and he smiled softly. He didn't know what spurred this but. It felt good knowing that you thought he was nice-looking. He knew, that you'd probably seen him frowning at himself in the mirror or something and decided to love him as loudly as possible.

And it helped.

He hated when people came up to you when they thought he wasn't looking to ask if you wanted help. He hated the scars. He hated being so big- but then. When you did things like this. Laid on him and fussed over him and refused to let him tell you otherwise... He believed you.

"I love you too, baby girl," he murmured, practically purring when you lay back down on him and turning you so he could pin you between his chest and the back of the couch. Where he felt you were safer- better protected.

"We'd make pretty babies," you muse, "But they'd have to get your eyes or I'd be upset."

"Pockets, why-"

"Because," you answer shrugging, "they're my favorite color."

"But we don't-"

"Oh we absofuckingltely shouldn't have kids," you snort, "But if we did they'd be beautiful."

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Hey. I think Killer and Error duo is being slept on. Dunno what dynamic they may have (don't have any thoughts) but something about these two makes me think that they'd get along (or at least, they would get along after initial first impressions)

Yeah, I think so too maybe. I also think that other than Color, Error is the one who actually encourages Killer to talk shit and complain about Nightmare with him.

Now im not too familiar with Error’s canon lore as of right now, but im familiar with the idea that he’s kinda a man child and sometimes had a tendency to throw tantrums.

I can see killer being uncomfortable (unsettled, nervous, confused, on edge, scared) by any huge displays of emotion, especially if they’re about or directed towards him, but he’d die before he admits to anything like that or expresses any genuine emotion and he doesn’t have the words to express any of it anyway because he doesn’t understand emotions or himself.

Killer’s more likely to decide that “something error does is influencing the soul/the body to behave differently and so I should stay away from being controlled” rather than anything like “this makes me uncomfortable.”

Because killer doesnt see himself as experiencing emotions in stage 2, and “himself” is in his mind and away from the body (which allows him to not really care what happens to the physical form so long as it operates well enough), he just thinks it’s the body behaving weird. Couldn’t be him, he can’t feel anything.

But I can see error trying to tune down the huge displays around killer eventually, maybe after a particularly huge and somewhat destructive tantrum of his drives killer to distance himself away from him. (Error seems rather lonely, and I doubt he’d want to lose his fellow nightmare-shit talking buddy.)

And another thing is that Error has issues with being touched, and killer relies on touch to determine if something is truly real or not.

And, uh, his stage 2 self doesn’t really understand boundaries naturally (or, a bit more accurately, he doesn’t see how they effect him) and therefore he can disrespect them; a lot of the time because he needs to tell if something is real or not or he’ll lose his damn mind again, other times because of a sense of curiosity or his deep seated need for control. He has a tendency to be like “boundaries for me, not for thee”—and we all saw how he manhandles swap.

So I can see just spending a lot of time just silently staring at error with his big doe black eyes while error yaps on, silent. And killer can’t really see shit well due to the goop from his sockets, so staring holes into error’s skull doesn’t make him seem any more real.

And of course error understandably flips his lid when he’s suddenly touched out of nowhere without his permission, probably stringing killer up in his strings and holding him up and away so he won’t touch him again. Only for killer to calmly slip right out of them because the strings don’t really affect him.

It’s gonna be like pulling teeth to get killer to explain why he did that, so this will probably be another period of rockiness in their relationship. Killer simply doesn’t like letting others know anything about him that he doesn’t want to willingly give, anything about his motives, genuine thoughts, goals.

And he doesn’t see what the issue is, although he recognizes that error is upset. He’ll probably say something to calm error down, something like “I won’t do it again,” without fully understanding the problem simply because, once again, the displays of emotion are making his body act weird. He doesn’t like the “control” error has over it. Killer knows how to people please and fawn when he needs to.

I don’t think he’ll willingly bring this interaction up with color to ask his trusted person to explain to him why this was an issue—simply because killer’s stage 2 self doesn’t often seek out emotional connection due to plain indifference and disinterest towards most people.

He doesn’t really care at this point if error doesn’t wanna talk to him again—just means that less chance of error’s emotions controlling his body again. (It’s the schizoid tendencies talking girl oh no he has headphones in he can’t hear us!!)

But color, being the absolute chad he is, recognizes that killer really needs more friends than him and error probably does too honestly. So instead color gently spends some time trying to encourage killer to just show some trust in others for once, and explain why he needs touch.

It takes awhile. Killer doesn’t get why he should explain himself to anyone that doesn’t have power over him, and no thank you to the idea of expressing himself. Color points out that error was willing to tone down the intensity of his outbursts, willing to adjust himself for killer’s comfort, because he wanted killer’s company.

Killer says error just wanted company. Not his company. Color gives killer a look and says, “being lonely and wanting company isn’t weakness.”

But it probably eventually happens. Color helps him write down the words, perhaps writes the definition for the derealization that killer was experiencing.

From there things probably get better for them. Error explains his phobia, killer says color told him he’s not supposed to touch people without permission. Error says he doesn’t give permission, and killer is quiet for a moment, before saying, “ok.”

Maybe they work up to it, maybe they never do. Error gives killer a mini doll of himself to squeeze whenever he starts doubting reality—probably because killer keeps forgetting he’s supposed to ask before touching but always stops himself mid way.

Error can see that killer is trying, although he doesn’t understand why it’s so hard for the guy to conceptualize the idea of boundaries. Does he not understand that saying no is a valid option? Regardless, killer is willing to listen when told no. Even if he clearly doesn’t understand what the big deal is. (If only killer had learned this lesson before meeting swap)

And they will of course what Error’s telenovelas. Or Error will watch them and ramble to killer with character analysis, headcanons, and theories while killer struggles to stay present and not become completely dissociated. The cats will lounge around in the beanbags with them.

I think it’ll be a very long time before killer feels safe enough around error to allow himself to be in stage 1–he will leave immediately as soon as he starts shifting over—but for now they’re both content with keeping things more surface level.

Kidnapping will become a staple of their interactions. Some days error will just snatch killer right up regardless of what’s he’s doing or saying and killer can escape easily but instead he’s just like, “new episode again?” Nightmare throws a fit whenever error takes killer while he’s trying to talk to him, which amuses killer so he allows it simply to spite the boss.

Sometimes ink is there too. Killer doesn’t know why or when they came around, but he’s there! Ink apparently likes drawing killer and error a lot. Ink comments that’s he taking all this in a surprising stride, and killer’s like..”pal, most days this just feels like a fever dream.”

Ink likes making and giving killer drawings of what happened that day out of hopes itll help it all feel more real to him.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 6

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.6

“Good evening, Stanley.”

“...”

“I can see in lieu of speaking, you have instead chosen to communicate with an obscene hand gesture- two obscene hand gestures. I'll excuse your immaturity because I understand you might be feeling… upset.”

“Upset? Me? What could I possibly be upset about?”

“I understand your current state of… lodging is making you apprehensive. On account of being involuntarily committed.”

“You not picking up sarcasm doesn’t surprise me. And this isn’t an involuntary commitment; this is an unlawful abduction and confinement. I have enough experience with both to know the difference.”

“You what?”

“Ask me whatever stupid questions you’re about to ask, but I refuse to stand up. This is literally the first bed I’ve had since prison; and in that bed I had to worry about bed bugs, dirty needles, poisonous snakes… and Jorge.”

“What was that last thing that you just whispered to yourself?”

“Don’t worry about it. Now, what do you want, Doc? You here to scan me again? Get me to take more drugs? Ask me weirdly personal questions like your hot friend?”

“I want to talk. I may have come on a little strong when we crossed paths in town, in order for you to truly understand where I’m coming from, I’m going to have to give you some context in place of your lost memory.”

“Please tell me you’re not about to give me the tragic backstory of you and your missing twin.”

“Listen, Stanley, you don’t remember this; but we had a falling out ten years ago.”

“Aaand you’re doing it. Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was expecting. Fine, I’ll play along.”

“We were in our senior year of high school. You ruined a project of mine, and it cost me my dream college. We had a fight, and you got- you left home after that.”

“Man, dunno why I’d do something like that.”

“You were scared of me leaving you.”

“Did a shitty thing, and ended up alone anyways. That's something I'd expect from me.”

“And then you tried to justify it and say there was a silver lining-.”

“I’m sorry.”

“...What?”

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“... Where’s your excuse?”

“Hm?”

“Your excuses- your reasons? You cannot just apologize- so casually.”

“Sure I can. I just did. You don't accept it, that’s your right."

“...You don’t mean that.”

“Naw, I’m pretty sure no one deserves to be betrayed. I’m sorry you were.”

“Saying sorry doesn’t make it okay.”

“Didn’t say it did. Nothing can- it’s already happened, and there’s no changing it. You don’t wanna forgive and forget? I won’t make you.”

“And you’re going to simply… move on?”

“Look, PhD, I can’t tell you why your real twin did what he did, or what was going through his head when he did it. But he did the wrong thing to the wrong person, and paid for it. It’s too bad you had to pay for it too.”

“You are-.”

“Can see why you’d get us mixed up though. All I do is ruin things, too. Maybe if that thing with your project hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t be a wackjob who carries a tranq gun with him everywhere and abducts people off of the street.”

“I’m not mixing anything up. You are exactly who I keep trying to tell you that you are. You’re just not you right now.”

“I’m never anybody but me. You feel better now? Get all of that out of your system?”

“Now that I have told you what separated us-.”

“I’m gonna take that as a no.”

“Can you fill me in on the years that followed?”

“Doc, a lot of what I remember is like smoke - it’s hazy, and it’s hard to hold onto, can you be specific?”

“How about we start with something tangible?”

“Like what?”

“I am going to slip a paper and a pen through the slot in the door. Write down a list of the people who’ve tried to kill you.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. You told my associate a number of alarming things during his interview with you, and he reported that a not insignificant number of those things revolved around people trying to kill you.”

“A lot of them still want me dead, you know. If they figured out where I was, they might raid this place. It’s not too late to just… let me go, and we can pretend none of this happened. I’m not gonna hold a grudge against you, it's clear to me you've got issues because your real twin is either dead or hiding in Cuba.”

“They can try. They’ll fail.”

"Gutsy. We coulda been friends if you weren't insane."

"...We were."

"If you say so."

To be continued...

[bokutosbabe]

Oh please, can I request the first time s/o rubs her nose against tecchou’s nose?

You don’t have an idea how I love tecchou’s fluff, like, everyone agrees he’s the most affectionate guy😭how I love my baby

AAHFSHSHSVSV I LOVE TECCHOU SM THIS IS SO CUTE. i had a pretty bad mental health week recently so i’m sorry for not finishing this earlier!!

nose to nose–

tecchou suehiro x gn! reader

a/n – this ask was too cute and i actually sobbed bc i love tecchou more than words can describe 🫶🏼

content – tecchou fluff, fem! reader, really just cute relationship type stuff, tecchou calls reader ‘sweetheart’ and ‘ my love ’ ,added backstory for absolutely no reason,i think that’s it! lmk if i missed anything!

synopsis – cute lil nose bumps with tecchou :)

when tecchou had first met you, he didn’t understand why his stomach felt so queasy. was it the soy sauce he’d put in his coffee? no. it couldn’t be that– he’d drank it many times before, so what was different about today?

you–a new addition to the hunting dogs– you were the only new thing about today. his daily rituals of working out during meetings, going on his own little adventures after getting a mission done a little too quickly; all of that would now be thrown off balance because you were here.

this feeling in his stomach would go away sooner or later

or– that’s what he’d thought.

even then; two months after you’d arrived into their little group of strangely strong super freaks, the weird queasiness never subsided within tecchous stomach.

the way you smiled at jouno made his stomach churn in a way that could only be described as anger, but why would he get upset over two of his coworkers just chatting? he wasn’t sure what was wrong with him, so he went to the one member of the hunting dogs who hadn’t been so wrapped up in their space; tachihara.

tecchou went up to the fake ginger and asked him simply about why his stomach burned every time you were around him, yet it also burned with anger when you talked to anyone that wasn’t him.

“i dunno man, sounds like you like her to me-”the other male shrugged. which led to tecchou realizing that he did, in fact, like you.

and that’s what led to now, three months after tecchou had so bravely walked up to you the same day he’d found out that he actually liked you and asked you for “the honor of being his girlfriend” and who were you to tell the (arguably) cutest hunting dog no?

the two of you were sat on your couch, watching another stupid movie that tecchou had picked out. he refused to watch any high tense hostage or action movies; insisting that he “hated people getting tortured for no reason”

you’d been staring at your boyfriend for the past two minutes, trying to telepathically tell him that you absolutely did not want to watch this movie anymore, but he obviously couldn’t get your wavelengths.

the male kept shoving his face full of his buttered popcorn mixed with mustard– something that had his breath smelling disgusting and you avoiding every kiss he’d tried giving you.

“ ‘hiroooo ” you whined out towards your boyfriend, which made him finally turn his attention towards you, popcorn crumbs and mustard stained over his mouth and somehow even on his nose. you could never understand how your boyfriend got so messy while eating; it was a true mystery.

“ yes, my love? ” he’d chirped out, titling his hair so his fluffy hair that you could play with for hours upon hours. “can we change it? this is so boring!”you sighed, leaning closer to him, trying to take the remote that was placed on his lap.

“but i like this–”the males words stopped short when you got closer to him. try as he might, tecchou suehiro was the type of man to basically malfunction whenever you got closer to him. his hands found their way to your waist, moving the remote off his lap, causing you to let out a groan. you were so close and of course your puppy of a boyfriend couldn’t realize what you were doing!

the male moved you onto his lap with a ease, looking up at you as you stared down at him,“ you’re so pretty, y/n.”he leaned up, going to kiss you. and even though you loved your boyfriend, you weren’t going to kiss his popcorn and mustard filled mouth.

you slightly turned, shaking your head before putting your forehead on his, rubbing your nose against his. and let me tell you, tecchou was gobsmacked.

he looked up at you with a small frown, still staying close to you,“my love, do you not want to kiss me?” he asked as you let out a laugh. “you’re breath stinks, ‘hiro. ”

tecchou was never the type to complain, so he’d take the smallest of nose rubs from you, even if it confused him for the first six seconds it had happened.

“ if i go brush my teeth, can i kiss you?” he asked softly

you never did end up getting that remote.

the ending kinda sucked, i’m sorry! but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated, thank you!!

[m3nt4llyr4v3d]

I dunno man

I understand people giving her the benefit of the doubt, especially since she’s a teenager who does feel incredibly guilty about telling this lie, and did watch a man literally betray her and die in front of her which,, damn

And the adults around her should absolutely be the ones to take responsibility to break it gently to Adrien (Nathalie shouldn’t have folded into not saying anything, why worry about “no one being there to take care of Adrien” when Placide is literally right there)

But despite the sympathetic reasons she’s doing this, it’s hard to not be upset regardless, yknow?

I hear a lot about the burden she’s bearing keeping this secret, and the guilt weighing on her, but she has fully created this burden herself. No one is forcing her to lie, the people around her don’t agree with her lying, and she’s going ahead with it anyways.

Which is honestly great! I like fucked up decisions/decision making, I like the trope of essentially being your own shackle, being your own downfall. That’s what makes this all so interesting, and it’s evident that there will be consequences, so I’m inevitably waiting for this to build up and blow up in her face because that’ll be interesting to see

But regardless of the reason she’s making this decision, she’s still making it, you know? Regardless of her being 14, that’s still a pretty messed up thing to do

TLDR: I’m not surprised people are mad at her for spouting this lie despite everything, I think people should feel however they want about it. I’m along for the ride for this, and I have opinions I’ll share later

[cyanide-latte]

Honestly the most gratifying thing about my undercut that doesn't have to do with gender is that now I actually get genuine compliments on my hair.

I have naturally very curly hair. It is also very dark but has been steadily turning white since I was 15 (I'll be 35 in October.) I've had it long before, and most often in my life I've had it cut very short in a boyish style.

And my entire life, the comment I heard most was "is your hair naturally curly?" (always said with a dubious tone even when I was little, because I guess other 5-year-olds must have been getting perms) And it's usually always followed by "I wish I had hair like that, I'd kill for your hair" or some variation thereof.

I was told this was a compliment. As an autistic child who hated my curls for the longest time, this frustrated me. It never sounded like a compliment, it never felt like a compliment, and if they wanted my hair so bad, they ought to find a way to trade with me.

As I got older, into my late teens and early twenties, I made peace with the curls, even though I still got those same "compliments". But since I'd been getting increasingly white hair since age 15, they were now accompanied by people criticizing my "highlight job" and my choice to "mix in blonde". Looking people square in the eyes and saying "I don't have highlights, my hair's just been going white since I was 15" usually got semi-gratifying results when people backpedaled like hell, but a lot of them also would then criticize me for not dying the white to hide it.

I was constantly trying to alter my style for my hair my entire life and I don't even like styling my hair, but it caused me no end of upset to hear these things. I figured I was always doomed to be miserable about my hair. My body is already sensitive as hell to so many things I can only use specific products on my hair safely, but it hurt that my mother and grandmother tried so hard to help me understand people did like my hair, when the comments I heard sounded like criticism and an insinuation that other people deserved my hair.

And then 2020's COVID lockdown meant I couldn't get my summer cut to shorten my hair so I wouldn't overheat. At least, the person I usually went to couldn't do my hair.

So between desperation to find a way to keep all the weight of thick, heat-trapping dark curls off my neck and shoulders, and the desire to try something new as a subtle means of better expressing my gender, I decided to try an undercut. My partner and I looked up photos for reference, used an electric razor that was typically reserved for his hair, and decided what to do. Several layers underneath in the back would have to be shaved off completely (more than we initially anticipated, believe it or not,) and I wanted the shave to come around my left side. Just shave the left half of my head, because for some reason heat would constantly get trapped there as well as at the back of my neck. (Dunno why that didn't happen the same way with my right side, but hey, we've established I'm pretty odd.)

It was a relief, both physically and in terms of gender euphoria when I looked in the mirror and heard my partner's loving exclamation of "oh! there you are!" And it was also a relief when my mother and grandmother loved my new hair, especially when my grandmother said "that suits you best of all. You should always keep your hair that way." (Grandma passed in February of this year, and she never wavered in her love of my new hairstyle.)

But then, it started happening. Not just with family, friends and coworkers, but random strangers, at least once a week, often more than once a week. Someone would come up to me and say "I LOVE your hair! It's so cool!" I'd never heard that before.

I have quickly learned an added benefit of the undercut is that, with the left side of my head being shaved, it's incredibly easy for people to realize that my hair IS naturally curly, and to see my white pattern where my hair is growing back in on that side. And I've gotten compliments on that too! Both people talking about how dynamic my curls make the undercut, and several others telling me that my white pattern is beautiful and they hope I never think to dye it.

It's slowed down a bit since then but it still happens every couple of weeks. A little while ago at work, a regular [teen] patient came in with her mom, who approached me to ask about my undercut because she (the mom) has been hesitant to let her child try an undercut, but on seeing my hair, she changed her mind and wanted to know about my experience. Said kid still doesn't have an undercut yet, but they've been changing up their hair and presenting more queer in their dress, and they've started shyly waving to me when they see me. And yesterday, during grocery shopping, as I was waiting for my partner to get back from grabbing something, an older lady slowed down, came over to me, and just said "Excuse me, pardon me, you just have the most beautiful hair. That style is so striking, and your curls are wonderful with it. That's all. I just wanted to tell you you have gorgeous hair" and then she left.

It's so strange how that impulsive choice to take a shot on a new style not only became something I love for me and my personal expression of self, but is the thing that finally, truly has brought me compliments on my hair for the first time in my life. Real compliments that make me feel good.

So I guess what I'm saying in this overly long ramble is 1: I'm forever grateful this has happened and is happening to me, 2: for anyone struggling with similar, this is a reassurance that things can and will get better, 3: change can be terrifying but this is a very good example of a drastic change that wasn't going to have harmful repercussions for me personally, and the fact it turned out so well is both a confidence- and courage-booster. It's worth taking a shot on, because so far it's brought me nothing but joy. Sure, it requires frequent maintenance to keep up with the shaving part because my hair grows fast, but it's a small price to pay for a cooler head (in more than one sense!) and the positive interactions that have resulted.

[plaquerat]

i think in general people need to learn how to temper their expectations in regards to things that will come out. theres a lot of weird entitlement in a lot of fanbases and it leads to people being like.. insanely upset over things not going exactly how they want it to be. and in regards to ghost its like. i understand disappointment with the bonus content ultimately being a short video connected to metal myths especially since it got pushed back so much. im not sure its necessarily ghost's fault it was hyped so much though. all the hype i saw was from people building it up to be something huge when ultimately it was what i'd think of as a dvd bonus feature. very cool in my opinion but i can understand disappointment after people hyped it up so much.

and this isnt solely about ghost fans. ive seen grown adults get incredibly angry because of nintendo not announcing the exact game they want, or something they ship not getting made canon, or any number of things. when i was younger i kept having dreams after losing a tooth that i'd get a copy of pokemon pearl in exchange for the tooth. and naturally i didnt and i was disappointed for a while. and obviously now as an adult and ridiculous to assume. but in the moment yeah it made me upset to not get this thing i was convinced would happen.

i dont know. this post isnt to get on people over being disappointed. i think youre allowed to feel the way you do. but between the live chat during the bonus content being terrible and people getting mad the ghovie was (and in this case it was explicitly stated) a storyline continuing the chapters and not something based on fanon, its just really... i dunno. its hard to learn how to temper expectations. it took me a while, and mental illness and neurodivergency definitely didnt help me. but youll definitely have more fun if you dont put all your hopes and expectations on what you specifically want and not what the person making it is working on.

[windvexer]

dear chicken, if its not too much trouble, could i ask for your advice on a situation that's troubling me a lot as of late? my spiritual practice has been suffering due to my being torn between so many different interests and areas of hyperfocus, and i'm unsure how to reconcile all the different things that i'm drawn to but are so culturally different. for example, i'm in love with traditional english folk magic/witchcraft, and have done a lot of research on the regional folklore of places my ancestors are from. at the same time, however, i'm also in love with orphism, and feel no greater contentment and purpose than when i dream about devoting myself to the greek gods. to say nothing about historical/cultural differences and potential disrespect (ancient greece having very different ideas on what constituted "witchcraft" and whether or not it was hubris, for example) i'm just not sure how to even go about reconciling how these would work together as part of a practice. genuinely, i feel distressed, stuck, and as if i am simultaneously letting down my ancestors /and/ those who historical practices i have put on a pedestal.

Hi, Anon.

Do you think it's possible that you might have very unrealistic standards for what it actually means to practice your faith?

Because, please forgive me if I'm wrong, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you might be making up a ton of rules for yourself.

Have your ancestors visited you and told you they would be disappointed in you if you practiced anything other than English folk magic? If so, why do you hold their opinions to be higher than your happiness? If so, what steps have you taken to reconcile your relationship with your ancestor and reach a place of mutual understanding so they won't be upset with you for doing what makes you happy?

Approximately one billion modern witches practice witchcraft and intentionally include the Greek gods in their witchcraft, or, have a faith centered around the Greek gods and practice witchcraft on the side. A Greek goddess has personally helped me with my witchcraft even though I'm not even a pagan.

Is there anything that makes you feel that you in particular would disrespect the gods by doing this, even though other people do it and it improves their relationship with the gods?

(I also just now remembered Hekate, isn't she like, the highkey Greek goddess of witchcraft? Why wouldn't she want you to both venerate the Greek gods and practice witchcraft?)

If the gods have told you that you can't practice folk magic without disrespecting them, what steps have you taken to understand why they have this special rule for you that they do not have for other people? Have they told you that this is temporary, or permanent? When you've offered solutions, what did they say?

And if these assholes are all banding up on you telling you that you can't do what makes you happy and weaponizing their disappointment to make you fall in line, why do you want to work with any of them at all? You deserve better.

But, Anon, I secretly suspect that none of that has happened. I suspect that you might have just made up a lot of rules for yourself and decided everyone will be mad at you unless you dedicate yourself to 1 thing and do it 100% perfectly.

I'm not saying that sometimes ancestors don't bully people into following a certain path, or that gods ask for very special levels of devotion once your relationship gets to a certain point. But I'm also not suspecting that this is the case for you.

It's just that, I dunno. To me it sounds like you're acting like any particular path you take is like locking yourself inside of a monastery to the exclusion of all else, like instead of starting out chill, you're wanting to start out as a devotee initiate ready to take lifelong vows.

Instead of just like, praying to Hermes to help with traffic and then later that week giving your ancestors a meal.

You're saying you don't know how this would look in practice, which makes me worry that you're trying to write a textbook about how to do your practice without ever actually having learned the material.

You can never know what it looks like before you do it.

You are not supposed to able to envision a complete, polished pathway before you put your hiking boots on.

You don't even need to be able to see around the first corner.

Toad charm to cure a cold, veil to limit Miasma. Pray to the ancestors, then to Zeus. I don't see the conflict. And if Apollo gets mad at you for doing your ancestral coffee grind readings because it isn't Greek enough for him, sort that out when it happens.

But wait until it happens before you worry about it.

[themultifanshipper]

Sorry for creeping on your Lando posts. I love another person who can understand nuance. Lol

Things are rarely black and white. I can be upset with Lando for saying that, while at the same time acknowledging he was placed in an impossible situation by his boss, was on the high of his first win, and was most certainly told not to say anything negative about him. I also understand his thought process of “a former president, an office that is held in high regard, said some stuff to me, that’s an honor I guess.”

I don’t agree at all. I would never say anything close to that. But I’m also not in front of the world at a press conference in Tr*mp’s home state (one of the most right wing in America, I’d argue). With sponsors breathing down my neck.

Like, I am grossed out, and hate that he made such an awful comment, as throwaway as it was. But I’m also able to imagine how that situation and question placed him in a position that no matter what he said would upset someone and went with what pr probably coached him to say. 🙄

I dunno. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m a huge Lando fan, which I acknowledge can make me biased. But I need to point out that I’m also an asexual queer non binary person so it’s not like I’m a straight white girl thirsting over him. No shade intended to those that fit that description, I only bring it up because the label “Lando fangirls” is being used to describe the people defending him. And I resent being misgendered like that. That’s a whole other issue though. Lmao

Thank you for reading this word vomit. Speaking of vomit- I want to physically throw up thinking about what he said. 🤦‍♀️ Why did fuxking Zak Brown have to do that. Hate that guy.

Okay sorry for this entire message. ��

No worries, I love reading rants lmao, also I did make the point in a previous post about florida that if he had told Donald (gonna call him donald now it's hilarious) to fuck off there would have been riots. Lmao

[cityoftheangelllls]

I dunno, guys, I think I may need to take a break from the Internet, for a number of reasons. I'm very burnt out at the moment from my job, which I don't enjoy as much as I used to and which I may end up quitting, as well as the production of Cats I'm currently involved in (in a LEAD ROLE!) that is almost over but has still taken up a lot of my time.

Also, I've had a bad habit of doomscrolling and giving myself secondhand trauma from reading and seeing so many horrible stories of abuse, trauma, crime, etc. on the Internet for a few years ago now, but right now it's reached a high. I don't know why my anxiety tends to make me run towards things that cause me further distress than avoid them, but it just does. I can't explain it. And no matter where I go, I seem to run into these kinds of stories. Whether it's a Youtube comment where a user shares a story of the horrible traumas they've experienced in the past or present or the reason why they want to die, or another headline about the terrors happening in Palestine or Ukraine. It doesn't help that I have an unnaturally high amount of empathy and a tendency to imagine myself vividly in these people's shoes. Oh, and I believe that a user on here I came across who expressed intentions of suicide and who I tried to help, is dead now. She hasn't posted or responded to my messages in over two months.

I don't know what made me this way. It could be my mom's obsession with true crime stories and the ID channel, or the fact that I've inevitably run into those kinds of accounts here and elsewhere. Either way, it frightens me and makes me wish more than ever that I could erase certain memories with no problem and continue on with the life that has, so far, been pretty kind to me.

Until I can get myself together and stop getting myself overly upset about how horribly cruel human beings can be to one another in so many ways, I may have to step back from the Internet and social media, except maybe to share artwork. I recognize that my mental health is starting to go down a slippery slope at this moment, and I recognize how important it is to take care of it and do what's best for me. And I hope you all realize that I want YOU to do what's best for you, too, as long as it doesn't hurt you. Caring for others is important, but so is caring for yourself.

This all being said, I'm going to a little less active on here for just a little while. I'm sorry for being so open all of a sudden, but I hope you understand.

[melancholysway]

Hello! Could I request headcanons with the 2007 turtles reacting to their s/o thanking them (and by extension them, Splinter, April and Casey as a whole) for actually making them feel like they belong/are loved and that it could be okay to be themselves even though it’s still hard to, as they have always had trouble having any form of friendships/relationships before where they didn’t have to mask, as well as to actually treat like they aren’t forgotten?

Sorry, dunno if this is an old request or not– Just always in need for 2007 boys comfort lol. If it’s weird then you can just delete it ^^’’’

Also, just wanted to say that I really enjoy your content (especially for 2007 and 2012) and it always hooks me when I read it! Sending good vibes your way and hope to see more of your writing soon! *\(^o^)/* (Also hope you have a good day/night).

Ofc! I’m so  so so so so so SO SO SO (so) sorry this took so long!

Whoever sent me this request pls pls PM me so I can apologize more LMAO I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD BRO

and im so glad you enjoy my content! I hope I wrote this the way you wanted!

TMNT 2007 Headcanons: Their Reaction to you thanking them

Leonardo

family means everything to him, and in a way, you’re a part of that family too

He remembered how upset you were after he came back from South America a whole year after he was supposed to, 

how he tried his best to ease back into things with you,

And how you acknowledged his efforts

You felt forgotten at one point. There was a period where Leonardo just stopped sending letters to everyone, even you. 

It felt horrible, you overthought to the point where a scenario popped up- your own boyfriend forgot about you

He sits you down one day, when everything’s finished: Winter’s portal is closed, and everything is back to normal. While he did apologize when he came back from South America the same night, it wasn’t to the multitude that he was apologizing right now

“I’m…so sorry. I know you may have thought I forgot about you, but, how can I? How can I forget a beautiful face like yours?”

He can’t. He could never forget you. He couldn’t forget the platonic friendship he shared with you for the first 2 years of knowing each other, to then be in a relationship right before his training. 

He lets you know that. That you mean everything to him. Truthfully. 

The talk he has with you makes you love him even more, and it ends with a long, drawn-out hug. 

And when you finally get to the moment everyone in the family has been waiting for, you’re ecstatic. Where you, the turtles, Splinter, April, and Casey all get to hang out in the Lair like old times. 

Where you have a whole night to just converse with everyone, no matter what the topic is about.

 How happy you are to openly talk about Raph’s fame, Mikey’s daily beatdowns, Donnie’s shitty job, how big Leo’s bug bites would get, anything! It didn’t matter. 

As April and Casey leave to the surface, everyone except Leo retreats to their respective rooms. Now, it’s just you and Leo in the middle of the living room. 

He’s already yawning and offering his strength to carry you up to his own room when you stop him. You stop him to thank him. 

“Of course, love. I know you’re tired and I usually carry you upsta-hmm?” Leo’s brown eyes look into your own, trying to figure out what you’re thanking him for. 

“Just…for being there. All of you guys.” 

It was a lot more than that, and he knew it. As he lifts up your chin with his thumb and meets your eyes, he just kisses you. 

The thank you’s come out like vomit, and soon you’re thanking him for his understanding family, his entertaining siblings, and their two human friends that also walked into your life. How they really made you feel like one of them. From the moment you met Leo’s family to now, they truly love you like you’re family. 

He loves it. He loves that he not only gave you the love that you deserve, but he also gave you people- and mutants- that deeply care about you. 

Raphael

Raph isn’t as good as the rest of his brothers when it comes to dealing with someone else’s emotions. 

He isn’t sure what to say, or if he’s saying the wrong or right thing

But lately he’s been taking you out for nightly bike rides after things were settling back to normal. Sure, he dumped the Nightwatcher gag, but his motorcycle? No. He couldn’t. That’s his baby. Err, second baby after you. 

You loved the adrenaline rush it gave you, and on this particular night, Raphael knew there would be a full moon out (yes, I HC that Raph loves a good stargaze.) and wanted to take you to get the best view. 

“Ya like it?” He asks as he helps you take off your helmet, only to see your eyes puffy, and tear-stained cheeks.

“…did I do sumthin? Did tha ride give ya whiplash?” He isn’t sure. 

He’s trying to think of anything that may have upset you but he doesn’t find one.

“No,” you wipe your eyes, “No, it’s not you, or the ride, I just…” 

“Just, thank you. For being there for me. Always.” Not even just your boyfriend, but his family. His best bud Casey always looking out for you, too. 

You thank him for the bike rides, for being truthful about being the Nightwatcher, and because you were truly able to feel at ease around him. 

Raphael is already a pretty observant turtle, but the fact that you were able to be yourself around him comfortably is what this whole thing is about. 

Raph’s golden eyes stare at your form, and when your arms (attempt to) wrap around his whole body in an embrace, he smiles down at you.

 He’s not good at words, he never was. He was good at showing. So, he showed you how much he loved you. He showed you that he always wanted you around, and he showed you comfort when you didn’t have any. He was more of a soother. 

So, he doesn’t say anything. He just embraces you. 

“Anytime, babe. Anytime.” He pats your head like he always did, only for his hands to rest at your waist soon after. Pulling you close and in for a kiss, he can’t remember when and where he got so lucky. 

Because-- if he’s being honest- he didn’t like you like that in the beginning. When you first met him as the Nightwatcher one night, it was simply a damsel in distress sort of meeting. He saved you, did his job, and was ready to leave. 

But, he couldn’t. Not with you trying to get to know him better. He still doesn’t know what possessed him that night to get involved with a stranger, and he’ll never know. He probably just couldn’t resist someone as cute as you. 

Regardless of how you two met or how long it took for you to go from friends to lovers, Raph was also grateful to have you. Though, he probably wouldn’t tell you verbally.

Donatello

Honestly, out of all the four turtles Donnie is gonna be so happy if you thank him for anything.

I’m talking smiley face the rest of the day- even if you thank him for holding a door open for you

He loves it, he loves the praise (SFW & NSFW aside, Donnie likes being appreciated in general)

Since you’re also his first relationship (don’t bring up his April era) he really, REALLY appreciates you.

It happens one day in his lab. For starters, you were Donnie’s lab assistant often. He doesn’t have much to do in the daytime after he quit his I.T job, so he spends it doing experiments

And you can’t believe that 1) you’re Donnie’s permanent assistant, and 2) that you got so lucky to be a part of his life. 

Master Splinter told you that, though he said fate played a role as well. You may never have known that he and his sons existed if it weren’t for Donnie crashing into your window after a failed jump on the rooftops. Once you came running into your room and let out a scream, it was history. 

Donnie was a cutie, and his brothers were pretty easygoing (Leonardo being suspicious of you in the beginning, Raph not fazed, and Mikey excited that he gets to talk to yet another human being. He’s going 3 for 3 now.)

“Thanks, Donnie.” As the purple-banded turtle turns around, he looks at you confusedly with those magnifying goggles that make his brown eyes 1000x bigger. 

It’s sort of comical despite the serious moment you want to have with him.

“Not that I don’t enjoy when you thank me, dove,” He says,  “but for what exactly?”

“Just, you know, being you.” Having an amazing family, and two amazing human friends. You told him all of that. 

That if it weren’t for his clumsiness almost 3 years ago, you would still be with those “friends” who you had to put on a front for. With Donnie, no, you never had to. Even with his brothers and sensei, they knew the real you, and they loved it. 

“Oh, of course!...I…thank you, dove.” Donnie takes off his goggles and plants a kiss on your forehead,  “That means a lot to me, that you feel comfortable. That’s what I care about.” 

God he’s so cute. How he just smiles widely, blushing and fumbling with the test tube in his hands

Donatello felt accomplished that he made you feel that way around him, and that his family did the same. How you built bonds with all three of his brothers, and had a sort of guiding parent relationship with his rat sensei. 

He loved it all, because he never thought he would ever be able to experience being loved or someone appreciating him as much as you do.

Michelangelo

Ooh boy

Boy oh boy oh boy

He’s a people pleaser, don’t deny it guys

He really likes to make you happy, and he was the first one you befriended when meeting the turtles

You’ve come accustomed to being around your boyfriend and his family, especially because you were always invited to the Lair whenever you wanted to come down. Their home was your home

He becomes your boyfriend during Leo’s absence, and it means everything to him. Mikey constantly looked forward to getting a massage from you after a long day of getting beat up by little kids for a check.

Mikey becoming your safe space. He’s a good listener, and a damn good advice giver. Despite his brothers thinking he’s a doofus at times, Mikey really wants what’s best for you

He and his brothers becoming your main friend group. You hang out with them more, and although you already had a friend group up at the surface in your normal life, they didn’t compare to the joy that the turtles brought you

You never actually thanked him verbally, yet you showed and told him all the time how much you appreciated him and his family’s presence in your life. Not only that, but you were even able to meet two humans as well- and April and Casey were truly amazing. 

This thank you just comes out one day while you’re down in the Lair. 

You’re on the couch watching your boyfriend Mikey dictate someone else’s life in Sims while you both converse back and forth. Despite Mikey loving fast-paced action games, Sims was just something he loved to play with you. 

You take your head off his lap and lean in to give him a peck on the cheek, and he (almost) faints. He loved getting kisses from you, always. 

“In public?” Mikey whispers, peering over his shoulder to see the eldest brother walking by. After scoffing and lightly hitting him on the arm, you smile.

“No, silly, just a ‘thank you’ kiss.” You say, yet the orange clad turtle is a little clueless. What did he do?

“Not that I’m complaining,” He trails, “but what did I do for that one?” 

“You gave me a second family.” Not only that, but he gave you him. Befriending and dating Mikey entailed that you’d have access to his family and two human friends all the time, and there was always opportunity to talk to them. 

Thanking him for just being Mikey, and making you comfortable to be yourself around him, as he was with you. Mikey didn’t hide anything, and that’s what you loved about him.

He’s unapologetically himself. 

“Ohhh, anything for you, sweetcheeks!” Mikey exclaims, leaning in and soon getting a kiss from you. The air around you both is almost calming, as you never have to be on edge when around your boyfriend.

“And, for being my comfort person. Well, mutant.” You found comfort in your significant other, and that was the beauty of dating Mikey. You were able to be as chaotic, crazy, loud, and everything in between with him as much as you wanted. Mikey could always match your energy. 

“You’re mine, too.” You’re his comfort person, and it sets your heart ablaze when he says that. It’s a mutual thing, between you both. 

You’re each other’s comfort. 

//

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside @xnorthstar3x

Masterlist Discord

[gaym0m]

Something people find very interesting about me and my likes, is that I find jawline, necks and collarbones very very very attractive. Like literally makes my knees week and my— ya know.

Anyway, because if this I’m so sad no one has done this so imma do it.

Not smut. Like at all, but definitely suggestive. I don’t think I could write coherent smut.

Just Ellie for now since I owe her one.

One more not before I start, the way you can see her whole neck AND the drool im—

Okay okay sorry. Back to the one shot.

Warnings: mentions of Jay, of course suggestive stuff. Uhhh I dunno Beth being a little shit lol.

Soft lips gently pressed along the knuckles the tattoo artist, the kids with their auntie meant you two had all the time and space in the world to enjoy of each other, mind, body and soul.

Emphasis on body.

Ellie couldn’t help but chuckle at you’re actions, the kiss on certain body parts she wasn’t sure had ever been kissed. At first she found it cheesy, but after months of dating she didn’t know if she could be without it.

Just like she was no longer sure if she could live without the gentle kisses you would place on her cheekbones, or even her jaw.

She wasn’t sure she could live without your arms squeezing her waist or how you would nuzzle again the area where she shoulder and neck meet.

Ellie didn’t know what she would do without your playful kisses that started on her lips and lead down her jaw to her chest.

Or the ones that started at her knuckles and followed up her tattooed arms till giggles bursted from her lips. (Although she’s sure you had gotten that one from the Addams family).

Jay was a lot of things, he was a good husband while it lasted and a great dad but he could never compare to the next door neighbor that stepped in when she crumbled.

He would never compare to you, the one that immediately had everyone (even Beth and herself) wrapped around your finger with your kind nature and over all loving attitude towards the family.

Her ex would also never compare to you, from the way you sensually ran your fingers through her hair. The gentle tug when you wanted to break a long kiss just to aim for her jaw.

Then from her jaw, to her neck and her collarbones.

She didn’t understand your fascination with that area, but she appreciated the restraint you showed the first few times when she still had her ‘no marking’ rule. (She wasn’t ready to explain to the kids that the much you get neighbor who helped them and babysat them every once in a while was also her. . . Lover?).

Eventually they figured it out, from shy smiles and “hidden” kisses when you two were too caught up in eachother to see that Bridge had entered the kitchen for a soda. . . Poor kid didn’t get a soda but she was happy her mom seemed happy.

Of course, Ellie sometimes still got a little (not really) upset when you’d loose control. Then again those were also the more fun she had on bad days.

Those were the nights when your teeth grazed her jaw, her neck, her chest. The nights where she almost couldn’t look down at you, her body too strung up in pure white pleasure that her head was stuck thrown back.

Sometimes those where nights where she was stressed out, and you took every second to appreciate every inch of her. Your jaw sore, same as your arm but that didn’t stop you. Nothing really did stop you until Ellie unraveled beneath your touch, with a silent mantra of your name and twitching legs.

Other nights, you had a rough day. Of course you would never take it out on her, but she would still notice. And she would tell you a story of a day filled with struggles for her, because while she wasn’t a fan of lying, she knew just how relax you felt after you carried her to the edge and back.

Those nights where slightly different, with you hands gripping her hips enough to leave pretty bruises (which she sometimes wanted to outline and tattoo on herself). The same nights where you’d leave a few more marks while laying out a roadmap of the love and adoration you held for her.

Those nights, her fingers were sore from gripping the bed or at your hair while she remembered to cut her nails next time as she felt the skin of your back warm up after she raked her fingers down the soft skin.

Every night was a pleasurable ride with you, but those nights left her legs weak even the day after. And marks which lasted more than a few days.

Those were the nights that would cause her to flush as red as her hair when remembering.

She could still remember the smirk on Beth’s face the day after one of those nights, they were meeting up for lunch after Beth dropped off the kids at school. Ellie’s legs were still slightly trembling and her voice still hoarse.

“Not. A. Word. Betty-Boo.”

“Hey I wasn’t the one getting ra—“

“I said not a word!”

“Okay okay! I would ask how it was but clearly it was good.”

“I hate you.”

“Yes I’m aware.”

As much as the teasing annoyed her, she did find it slightly amusing just how much of a mess you made her (and her pants).

[fiberturkey89]

So I have no idea why this came to mind, but this is what I had in mind if I wanted to tackle Zane post s11 and during s12 if I rewrote Prime Empire- my AU n shit ig?? Dunno, im rambling.

Imagine a Zane post Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitzu where he was struggling to really figure out his identity after his time spent as the Ice Emporer.. before the events of Prime Empire and during..

It begins with him being unable to sleep; of him being hyper aware of how the temperature drops slightly below the normal and the sun departs to allow the moon to take its place above Ninjago with its pale blue/white light. He gets flashbacks to the blizzards every time he sees a night cloud cover the orb of light.

His breathing quickens, and he feels alone again. Even with his family nearby sleeping soundly. Of his other half who's silently standing behind him with concern in her gaze because she can't understand.

He gets flashbacks to the screams, the roars and shrieks he created when he attacked the Yeti's at the peaks every time he's taken to Jamanakai for a quick shopping trip. The crunch of snow below his feet causes him to flinch as if he's been struck. His hands clench, and because of him being upset, the temperature drops, which causes him to spiral without Pixal to reign him in.

He can't visit Jamanaki anymore.

He can't look at Lloyd longer than a minute before hurting inside at how there's frostburn imprints on his brothers throat, shoulders, and chest. Lloyd tries every day to approach him and explain that it wasn't his fault - trying to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but Zane shuts him out because of how Vex would coercer him into comitting unspeakable thanks against the peoples of the Never Realm. Whispering, offering reassurances, and pointing out possible threats to the Ice Emporer- HIM.

He can't train at all, with his brothers or his sisters. He can't bear to train with Pixal either. Worried that he'll get lost in the violence that was himself in the Never Realm.

Not even Wu can break through to him.

Snow has remained dormant within, every time he considers summoning his companion - his familiar.. he can't help but see the ghost of Boreal whenever his spirit flies. The other animals belonging to the Ninja miss their winged friend, too, but can't do anything to help.

Zane's just stuck in this constant loop of uncertainty of what to trust, WHO to trust. Because he doesn't trust himself, and Pixal can only do so much to provide comfort.

So imagine his sheer panic of if Unagami had reached out somehow - someway and had dragged Zane into Prime Empire?

Imagine the fear of seeing Mr. E- his BROTHER. Echo Zane, part of the group assigned to hunt him down as an avatar of the real thing because Unagami can access his memories. His deepest fears. His worst enemies. His younger brother being one of them because Echo Zane, too, had been built to protect.. yet turned his back on it because of fate and Dr. Juliens deteriorating memory, and because.. of Zane himself unintentionally.

Zane was afraid of his younger brother. He followed orders to a T- he fought with the intent to kill. He was friends with Harumi.

Zane was afraid of becoming like the violent side of Echo Zane.

On the other side of the spectrum- he would encounter avatar! Cryptor, a Nindroid, just like himself, but in every way his opposite, too. Whereas Zane was human, Cryptor accepted that he was a machine. He taunted Zane for his age, for his ability to sympathize with beings that could die. His inability to be WEAK. Perfect in comparison to Zane's broken state. In his view- Zane saw Cryptor as somebody who knew what they were.

A souless monster.

[atthebell]

i do kinda think its very silly for people to be acting like q is the devil and stuff and we all have to run away from this server as fast as we can cuz like. man i feel like everything happening all the time during the lockdown dsmp days have destroyed some of this fandom's ability to be patient and wait for change. :( i dont think ive even seen any major news since pomme and dapper? to me it just seems like stuffs been quiet cuz theyve been cracking down behind the scenes. i dunno it feels kinda sad to hear that so many people are just giving up on something they love when its not even gone yet.

yeah i mean i think deciding it's a foregone conclusion is very stupid, and also i understand being very upset with q because he hasn't been very responsible or diligent (particularly before all of this came out) but also like. you guys understand he was also mega fucked over by this right. like you know that this project is his baby and he wants it to do well and wants to treat people fairly and doesn't want to ruin his reputation with it?? like i don't get thinking he's a mustache twirling villain when that's not how he's behaved at all. and also you're not owed any behind the scenes info!! this is the kind of shit that takes months to work out, it's not going to be resolved immediately, like you said, and i don't think most of it should be public. admins can, have, and will likely continue to speak out about issues, it's not like we're not going to find out if shit keeps sucking and nothing improves, but the actual restructuring should not and will not be public.

have some damn patience!!! i know i sound like a dick when i say that but i'm also miserable about all of this!! i just don't decide to make it a moral issue (in terms of "supporting the server" or whatever) or be a fucking freak weirdo to people because of it. i adore this server, i want it to be better, i want people to be treated well, i want players to be able to come back and tell the stories they want to tell, and waiting for that fucking sucks but it's the only thing to do so long as i still care about it, which i absolutely do.

idfk i'm tired of talking about this whole situation because i think everyone is upset and thinks that justifies everything they want to say and do, including being shitheads to other fans and acting like every cc involved in this is a fucking war criminal, which is how mcyt fans always act when there's any kind of issue (or whatever they view to be a problem). it's tiring and i wish people could be mature about it but apparently that's impossible