#i dont wanna ruin anyones day
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i cannot believe i made it to gear 5 without being spoiled,,
#one piece#luffy#gear 5 spoilers#wano spoilers#u h. so i hear ppl dont rly tag for this anymore but the sheer JOY I FELT seeing this as a surprise… i dont wanna ruin that for anyone else#to be fair. i just muted every one piece word i could AND only looked at things friends sent me#so maybe its impossible to avoid spoilers without just going offline like i have#WHATEVER. whatever. its for my peace of mind#anyway. the way my jaw hung open for like 5 episodes straight#i said a couple days earlier ‘how will oda make the end of this fight actually satisfying?’ and bree screenshotted it to show me later#yeah id never have predicted this but it SURE WAS SATISFYING
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WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT HOW THIS SUCKER NOT ONLY GOT A NEW DESIGN BUT FUCKING DIED AGAIN EXACTLY 3 PAGES LATERRR
#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the flash#no because my day is immediately ruined when i find out there is a new thawne appearance anywhere in the comics#BUT THE FACT HE DIES IN THE END IS SUCH A GAMECHANGER. I ALWAYS LOVE A NEW RIDICULOUS DEATH.#yeah yeah im extremely weird(it boils down to me not trusting anyone to properly write thawne ever except me and 3 other people who#actually Get Him. like fuck off dc youve done enough harm already. but if he doesnt get to do much and dies? its most in character+funny)#anyway his last words 'b-barry. barry. lets just take a breath-'???? GRHGSGSHTSRRH HE IS. A FUCKING LOSER.#and the hand-through-heart thing WITH THE SPEAR OF DESTINY AROUND?? POETIC#and also. his design. HES IN HIS 'WANNA BE BARRY' PHASE AGAIN ISNT HE#knight terrors: the flash#ngl i havent even read the thing and dont really know the context. im here exclusively for these 4-5 pages featuring the Rat Bastard
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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bioware trying to hype us with n7 nostalgia is leaving a bad taste in my mouth ngl.
im just scared they succumbed to fan service in this regard i think. i want companies to believe in their creative ideas and really proof to us what they got instead of listening to angry reddit dudes and doing whatever they want them to do. star wars has proved what can happen if u do that......
idk. if u miss shepard replay the trilogy maybe. let shep/n7 rest. dunno.
#if you're excited about the n7 day content dont click on read more and continue on pls <3 i dont wanna ruin anyones fun#personal#i have more thoughts about this but i dont feel like articulating myself rn lol
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I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!
It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.
Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)
Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-
#i think the one i just used didnt even have a separate billing address option which makes no sense#guess they dont want anyone giving any gifts making the buyer pay twice for shipping like that#maybe it was a fault of the mobile browser but i highly doubt it since many desktop sites look like mobile browsers these days#just so fucking frustrating. what if i lived somewhere where my legal name would out me? (im in the closet rn so doesnt matter)#i dont want to fucking see my legal name. im already forced to see it everywhere else.#i dont wanna ruin my mood on a day when im supposed to be getting a package which should be a happy thing yknow#vent#transphobia#speaking of like i would change my name but i dont want to and cant afford the fucking ridiculous price for it#and i dont wanna advertise it in a newspaper either! shits expensive as fuck on top of the hundreds to file the court paperwork!#i already tried to do it once with money in hand and the receptionist told me that even tho it was for gender identity i could not...#...avoid the newspaper thing unless i also changed my legal gender marker. and i had to back out bc i have reproductive health problems#i dont want a gender marker change to fuck with my getting healthcare#(i did change the gender letter on my ID card later tho which only took a signature on a paper no hassle with anything)#it really really fucking sucks how all these little things add up all the time#especially when im closeted while living w family who wont even use my preferred name#the real kicker is that. both my dad and his dad used preferred names. my dad used his middle name#and i use part of my middle name. yet my dad even in death still gets the dignity of being called his preferred name and i dont#sexism at its finest#reasons why i dont even hint at being trans around my moms side bc i already got bullied by them for wanting to use my middle name#ive literally been asking them to call me my mid name since i was 12. and theyve been acting like im trying to be someone else#its the same middle name on my birth certificate they gave me. i dont understand why they wouldnt want me to use it#but yeah i stay closeted bc i dont wanna deal with the name drama amplified exponentially for gender#prob get kicked out too cuz theyre queerphobic as fuck and i cant work rn and dont have a car#id have to just go full feral and live in the woods with the lizards where i belong#Cori.exe#Post.exe#fuck lol just looked it up and u cant change ur first name if u get married. i cant avoid the fucking fee man. let me be cori#literally why is it cheaper to get married than change ur first name! bullshit! marriage has so much more legal implications#transphobic queerphobic aromanticphobic privacyphobic poorphobic shit ass fucking state ive literally been cori most of my life ffs cmon
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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can literally only swing an apartment w another person and my bf is on the brink of backing out so i have to figure out what the hell is goin on there but god... god!!! i just want to escape!!! i was so goddamn close and now im being knocked all the way back!!! i dont even know where to /start/ looking for a new place to live or people to live with i just. what the fuck is wrong with me and why does this keep happening.
#its gotta be a me thing#which is why im probably gonna just sign up for one of those random roomie sites and inflict myself on a stranger#bc if i move in w anyone i know and it turns out im the thing that keeps ruining everyones lives#i dont wanna fuck up the few scraps of good ive got going for me#these past few months have just been a lot of me realizing how fucked ive been and how deep i keep digging#and i do not know how to get out of it anymore i dont fucking know anybody my viable support system is zero#too much of a coward to kill myself too terrified of the unknown to run away too convinced of my own stupid burden curse to accept help#what the fuck do i do here just#sit and shiver until my heart gives out i guess#maybe this will be it. maybe if move in day comes and passes and im still at home ill just kill myself#it might be easier then like. its obvious im not getting out any other way#so that might as well be it
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can i post an edgier-than-normal joke about borrower body disposal. if i tag it “death mention”
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Anyone with pokemon sword wanna help me out with some trades to fill out my dex?
I can offer any shield exclusives in return but ill need a bit of time to go catch them as i only have one of each so far but dm me for what youre looking for and i can make it a priority if youve got the ones i want to trade. I can even grab a shield dog if you wanted to do a dogswap. I have some shinies moved in from pokemon go too if thats something youre interested in.
I also need some that arent exclusive but need trading like aromatisse, rhyperior, escavalier and accelgor and so forth. I have a list so please dm if youve got sword or access to tradeable sword exclusives.
Thankyou!
#personal#pokemon#pokemon shield#pokemon sword#pokemon sword and shield#pokemon switch#pokemon trades#i have one very obviously hacked articuno i recieved through random trade#as well a shiny heracross and skrelp that i frankly dont trust having in my game and want to trade off as soon as i can if possible#as well as a legit caught (in pogo) shiny kangaskhan to offer#idk i think sword and sheild are kind of dead now but i wanna complete my dex just so i can get the shitn charm and do some legitimate#shiny hunting. id love to find a shiny wooloo one day and ive prepped my 500 battled. but i know when i played last and recieved#those hacked ones theough the surprise trade it super turned me off of playing and i didnt for a very long time#and now ive been playing again for like 3 days and havent recieved a single surprise trade so like. idk if that contributed but why#why you hackfucks gotta ruin the fun for everyone bro like if you want t hack ur own game to fill ur boxes with shiny legendaries go for it#i dont want them. ive never found a shiny for real outside of pokemon go. i want the thrill of the hunt and the joy of finally finding one#for realises. god i cannot tell you how many eevee eggs i bred for shiny hunting in diamond and never found one#anyway. im getting ranty fuck hackers and fuck you for putting your hackey shit in my game i didnt want it#so id like to get rid of it if anyones interested or also just general sword players with legit sword exclusives to trade#please dm! its 10pm here so ima go to bed soon but id love to set up a time to get some trades happening!
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the shittest day over on Christmas, can you believe that? but I'm going to drink away my problems and deal with it another day.
#— nat talks ‹#i dont want an unnecessary shit to go ruin my fucking day.#now thats shit.#i dont wanna talk to anyone till im drunk.#i just got ready into my dress and done my makeup and nails.#i wont be hearing from anyone until I'm happy. soz.
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Even on days when I have plans with friends I spend the entire night alone sitting in bed miserable waiting for my friends to be ready without any idea of when they will be. And then they're always ready once I get tired at like midnight for me and I wasted the whole fucking day waiting. fucking timezones. Shitty fucking life.
#i just sit around waiting aimlessly bored of everything#even after i ask for a timeframe.#im just so fucking sick of being alone and depressed#i feel so awful and i cant tell my friends bevause itll ruin the small amount of time i get with them#and if i ruin it ill get no time with anyone#depressed as shit man i fucking hate my life#i fucking hate being sober#just leaves me even more bored and miserable#vent#talky#literally nothing#sometimes by the time theyre ready im so fucking depressed from spending the whole day like this that i dont wanna hang out anymore#but i cant just not hang out because its like my one time a week I get to do anything i like#having to be uo so late every time has ruined my life. i sacrificed so much for this and i have nothing to show for it#everyone in my family thinks im inconsiderate for talking and keeping them all up so late#and they think im lazy because my sleep pattern forces me to sleep in#i seriously fucking hate my life
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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hm.
#negative cw#our other best friend came over and my roommate mentioned that hes here but never anything past that#and i just went to the bathroom and heard them all playing the board game we were all gonna play and. no one told me#like i would've probably said no bc the kids are here and I'd be uncomfortable but. it hurts?#its a game ive never played before (cluedo) that i bought specifically bc i thought it would be fun to play with my best friends but#god i hate this my stupid brain is so self sabotaging and now im just 'well okay so im never ever gonna play cluedo then this has ruined it'#i hate this i hate everything ab this but my brain gets so all or nothing in situations like this#and i will frequently go for Nothing bc i feel like this is a. it feels once again like i am being excluded from the only friends i have#and its. if it was any other day I'd say maybe they dont wanna keep me up bc of work but i dont work tomorrow#me not working tomorrow is WHY we were gonna play board games tonight literally the entire reason#bc i could stay up later and it'd be fine#but also its fucking 7pm its not that late and they've been going for a couple hours already#and i just. it hurts that they didnt even ask if i wanted to play when ive spent days excited for this#i have talked excitedly ab playing cluedo and now i never ever want to see that game ever again i hate it#i wish i had. i wish i had friends outside of just my 2 roommates and our best friend#like i don't even mean i want people im as close to as them i literally just. i dont know anyone else#no one else would ever want to spend time with me#and i am constantly watching them all make new friends and bring new people into their lives and i just. dont#and its not for lack of trying!!!!! i am always trying So Hard to meet people and make friends but just. it.#i have known for Years like at least a decade that i am fundamentally difficult for people to like especially in person so ive clung to#the trio ive had but i just. i feel like. they are moving on#and its felt that way for a long time for a lot of reasons and its just. i do not understand what im doing wrong#or why people never like me#i wish so badly i could've just been happy with the body i was born in i feel like if i had just settled w being a girl people might like me#i don't know this is stupid and depressing and will be deleted i just#hearing them playing and having fun and the fact that they never even thought to involve me just Hurts
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pre-relationship bullshit haikyuu teams probably had to put up with before various ships managed to get their shit together
daisuga probably was really annoying with like small/petty jealousy, like a girl would hit on one of them and the other would be standing behind their back making faces about it and mocking it and everyone else on the team just has to put up with it. and then theyre all overly sweet to each other to make up for the petty jealousy or some odd version of "winning them back" after the flirting event and the team is rolling their eyes *so hard*
i think asanoya is so annoying bc nobody can convince Asahi that Noya likes him. Like full stop. Eventually someone pulls him aside and is point blank like "Noya said he has a crush on you ask him out" and Asahi is just like: "Haha he was probably joking" and just leaves the scene. Like the absolute refusal to believe it from Asahi combined with Noya's classic teen boy inability to be sincere means that even after theyve both been told they somehow still havent gotten together??? how long is this going to take???
tsukkiyama probably ruins everyone's week the week before they get together bc one of them *saw* a confession letter stuck into the other's bag and absolutely went (emotionally) off the rails for the days leading up to them discovering it was for them.
I am fully of the camp that iwaoi start dating before they label it/make it official so the whole team is screaming like "PLEASE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT" meanwhile Oikawa is saying "we just went on a few dates and kissed a few times it doesnt mean anything" and Iwa is in the background shouting "yeah I dont wanna be anyone's boyfriend that's lame" and then they wander off to go eat dinner together holding hands and the team is left in frustration because ALL they talk about is how theyre *not* in a relationship.
for bokuaka its mostly just Bokuto pestering every goddamn person he knows for like 4 months asking "do you think Akaashi likes me?" or "do you think he'd say yes if I asked him out?" and then one day making Konoha *snap* when he says "I need to tell you a secret" and the secret is that he has a crush on Akaashi as if nobody had known that
with ushiten I imagine Tendou was probably really obvious with his crush/interest but in like a very casual "not taking myself too seriously" kind of way so he's comfortable openly flirting, and Ushijima, against everyone's expectations, doesnt seem to mind the attention but is still who he is, so the whole team just has to put up with the most INSANE interactions. Like Tendou walks into the locker room and cat calls him and Ushijima just replies with a formal "thank you" and Semi is contemplating slamming his head in a locker. There's like 12 months of this.
okay okay but I think arankita is *very classic* in that Aran compensates for his crush by over-supporting Kita. so like the whole team gets super annoyed bc Aran wont risk disagreeing with him, is always offering to do extra work, is generally just sucking-up really badly and the twins suffer the most for this bc Aran used to just ignore their antics but now he's super annoyingly on them all the time to try and impress Kita
kuroken is a little different. Yaku asks Kuroo every single day if he's asked Kenma out yet. Lev asks Kenma if he has a crush on Kuroo every chance he gets. Fukunaga gives them a wink when they leave practice to walk home together. This is the only pairing in which the team is the irritant pre-relationship and then post-relationship everyone loses interest and moves on.
I'd include kagehina but once again the entire goddamn show is everyone putting up with them flirting so whats the point.
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Ijstdont get it
#why arent i good enough#why cant i be good#all i do is ruin everytbign#all i do is cry and complain#i ruin peoples lkves just bsing in it#everything wpjld be better if i was. gone. isk#it makes me feel so useless#like nobody wantsme not even you.#i dont know#it gets fine for a day then fheres another reminder that anyone at any time would Rather have someone else#i can never just earn ot and be happy#idk#i cantdo this anymote#i cant keep beggimg yo be seen or looked at i cant keep begging to wanna be loved#im fucking pathetic. begging for this. begging to be fucked begging to be held begging for the most fucking mundane#things bevause im just. pathetic.
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#been crying non stop for more than two days#so tired#i just feel so alone and stupid and useless and pointless#i dont even have energy to vent#dont wanna ruin good days for anyone#just have to be quiet#im tired of beinf quiet too#im so dehydrated lmao#also having a panic attack rn which is great cause i cant make noise#just winrferful time all around
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