#i dont remember it all that well anymore
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
So i headcanon that demons (maybe angels too) have more than 1 heart…
Imagine that one day your demon darling invite you to dinner and ofc you agree! So you’re talking with them waiting for ur meal then it arrives. On the plate it’s a cooked DEMON heart and it’s not just any demon heart it’s your demon’s heart. Them smiling and said “do you like it?”
Apparently, demon do that to express love to their mates and it’s also one of the most imtimate ways (in demon’s sense) to show love.
I need more contents of the boys actually being demon 😔
i fuck with this, not gonna lie
the monsterfucker in me is always intrigued by the differences in how a nonhuman would express their love lmao of course most people would be surprised if their demon lover presented them with their second heart but after initial shock and them explaining if you think about it….you cant help but be (strangely?) touched like wow this person really likes me huh (///∇///) so we r pretty much soulmates! presenting one of ur hearts is a pretty big deal just from a logical standpoint, cause u forever nerfed urself for someone
now actually eating the heart is a whole nother question lmaoo
yea you know demons sometimes like to eat each other (and humans sometimes) but humans dont really do that as a casual activity and it usually gets you ostracized lol
u cant help but feel a little bad not eating it though…they cooked their whole second heart, they had it removed from their body which probably wasnt a painless thing to do but for your demon its mainly a way for them to show their devotion more than anything ,,,tho i know some of those brothers were actually expecting you to eat it lol it would be very funny if you both were sitting there after you were like aww thats so sweet and then he was like….well r u gonna eat it? :]
asmo and mammon come to mind first honestly LMAO
asmo is “kind of” intense when it comes to love and the mammon is a tsundere--"well...are you gonna eat it or what?"(//︶^︶)typa deal--so thats why i say that
and then maybe beel and belphie
beel cause i feel like it might go over his head at first (especially since this involves food) but then he'll remember like oh right humans dont eat that my bad
belphie i just think is hopeful you know...if that makes sense, so hes not surprised if you dont wanna eat it but maybe a bit huffy about it
i think satan and lucifer are too smart and like “normal” to actually expect a human to do that
while levi is... levi
hed probably get self conscious and be like well yea of course they wouldnt wanna eat my heart...
and then u gotta really reassure him its not him its you :d
#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me x reader#not taggin all those brothers im sorry lol#i like playing guess how that character will react#especially with characters i dont know very well lol#okay that was fun#thanks for the ask!!#its nice getting surprise messages :]#idk even how to tag this!!#like gruesome or something??#tw body horror#tw gore#maybe??#ACTUALLY#i wanted to say#remember when the threat of demons eating mc were constantly brought up in the beginning of the game lmao#that feels like a whole other world now#i wonder if the boys still get urges to eat mc sometimes tho#cause i was reading a novel with a demon ml and he fell for the mc#and he has demonic urges sometimes that he has to control#and actually a different demon in the past was infatuated with him and wanted to eat him because of it#so that was normal down in hell#like that would be considered love#fortunately for mc the ml isnt full demon anymore so i think it helps muddle those eating urges a lot#but hes yandere tho cause his version of love is still very intense and strange by human standards#i need to finish this story btw
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
#yes those are uyai’s tags in the color theory post like. YESSSS#because at the end of the day.. they are still the same person they used to be before they decided to change for the better.#the past doesn’t define u but. its still part of u. u did it regardless. the person of the past is still u.#LORE SPEAKING: they may have created their own color wheel and decided to do and say their own thing that has nothing to do with i#but they were still the naive and brainwashed angels they most likely pretend they dont exist bc they are not them anymore. but they are☝️#at the end of the day it all goes back to the beginning#IRL SPEAKING: they went thru a looooot predebut so they just dont rlly acklowedge (idk how to write that) their past#or their traumas. or their sins. because its fine they are not the same anymore. BUT THEY ARE! they still are#for example kaia thinks shes ok bc her past actions dont define her anymore. mf killed someone ofc her past will weight her down#despite howww bad she pretends that shes not that person anymore bc she is better now#but well! she still is the same person who killed nari! and thats something she has to accept#amaybe she continues having trouble accepting it bc “current me could never do that”. and well she did anyway!#blahblahblah#whatever that means dulce!#anyway. thats why in their color wheel they aren’t really that different fron their initial color#yeah they changed but they are still the same shade because their principal color is still part of them#this is why i really love the whole nostalgia essence in hiraeth bc it goes well with their lore / irl#ur past will always be part of u even if u forget it. even if u barely remember. even if u think that it didnt happen. thats still UR past#and thats why i luv the time loop concept too bc every new era is a new life but everything is still connected to the past eras#because they are still the same silly little angels 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧 even if they remember or not!#q.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
got a new laptop, feeling like a kid on christmas eve & I’m learning to use notion bc idk it fits the agenda of today (which is to transfer my life onto this one now)
#(new laptop bc everything broke on me lol and like it was time)#also I’m finally living the dream & started it from fresh so won’r be carrying around all those highschool essays#bunch of downloading etc now tho bc there’s nothing (been at this for 5h already lmao but it’s fun honestly)#i’m so glad tho that most of the things I do are somewhere on the internet/cloud bc didn’t lose too much work now that the old laptop won’t#open anymore (just like one commit that I hadn’t yet pushed to github and a thesis ’’brain dumb’’ thing but I dont think I had anything too#important there (I hope bc like if I did oh well it’s gone & I dont remember))#february 2024#2024
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that i immediately landed an awesome job right out from graduation but then got covid in august and now my brain doesn't work right and i might lose my job because of it . there's a funny joke in here somewhere maybe
#txt#haha. like. how lucky was i to get this job. and unlucky to get sick and have my brain fucked over#also a loss of time perception. time does not move for me it feels like 7am still and its 10am#i feel like i got lobotomized. brainfog and much less of a filter of what i say/do and fatigue etc#shortness of breath when im stressed too. fucking annoying#i keep fucking up on the simplest tasks at work. literally filled out a simple form wrong that i've been doing right since day 1#and my supervisor is patient and i tried explaining brainfog but idt she takes it seriously and she gets more annoyed the more i screw up#and like. i need this job!!!!!!!!!!! it pays disgustingly well!!!!!! but if i cant do simple tasks right anymore then what am i even doing#ive had this stuff since late august but its so much worse suddenly and i dont know why :((#to be deleted /#<- if i can even remember i made this post at all LOL someone shoot me
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
briefly scrolled though the bigbang subreddit like recommended and - true, it definitely is active! which is fun. one of the first things i saw is that someone got into listening gd bc they knew him from the shoe world 😭😭 i mean that's just amazing lmao
#i just randomly felt like being a little more active in the fandom again but reddit seems too overwhelming?#so im just checking if tumblr truly is dead#i havent been active obviously but now that something is happening im curious again#my husband said yday that im not a fangirl anymore#and i was like sweety.... there just hasnt been anything to fangirl over lol#we listen to home sweet home#my baby loves it. especially the live from MAMA bc she loves to dance to it#so im excited for new music#wanna know sth?#i went through my ✨memory box��� over the weekend#i have all my flights and concert tickets and stuff#alllll my bigbang stuff. everything#i have all the cd/dvd bundles#and i NEVER WATCHED THEM#they are literally untouched#also years ago i ordered the limited edition gdragon flower? road? thing?#i dont even remember but i literally paid hundreds for it and now i took it out like#lmao i never even used the mug#remember? the one with his handprint?#anyways i made some lemon ginger tea in it lmao#and also... years ago when i went to the concerts and bought the dvds to remember them#i told myself i will watch them some day when im at home with a baby#well... girl... nows the time lol#look at me rambling! lol i guess i miss sharing my shit on here#thanks for listening. and scene
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
been a few years since i outright killed a sai file but by god i accidentally did it again just now :/
#other#homestuck#my art#mindfang#redglare#rip to all my sketches on that file 😭😭😭#i dont even remember How i used to kill the files its been so long#but whatever it is i just did it sdkfad#so yall get a sketch with some shadows slapped on it#i know it has something to do with when i save#but it corrupts the file so i cant open it anymore. n it just says the file doesnt exist#o well. im an artist. i can just draw the sketches again :/ it was all grimm anyways. i got lots of drawings of her :)
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
uhhh yo i'm thinkin about. tommy and eddie not Getting each other but Dealing with each other becos of billy. but then somehow without even realising, they actually become pals too. hashtag billy's impact.
then ofc billy + eddie + tommy bestie-ism. becos i want it.
anyway. rewind becos we need to talk about billy + tommy and billy + eddie first before we slap tommy + eddie together
billy initially hating tommy when he first rolled into town, thinking he was kind of pathetic for how he was acting about harrington ditching him, and thinking he was just genuinely like. trying too fucking hard. trying to hard to be liked, to get attention, to get his fucking peers approval. billy already knew. high school didn't fucking matter. other kids approval and opinions didn't mean shit. everyone was fake as fuck. he just had to make it ‘til graduation, then he'd be fucking gone.
but then. he somehow ends up getting roped into joining tommy and his family for dinner one night, becos he's unable to say no to tommy's mom who asked him, and suddenly, he's seeing tommy in a whole new light.
he didn't know that tommy had a fucking baseball teams worth of siblings, and was the 3rd eldest. he watches as tommy cuts up his baby sisters dinner, pulling faces at his little brother next to her the entire time to make him laugh. listens as the entire table actually talks and interacts with each other, how his twin little sisters ask about when carol's coming over next, and how his mom cuts in and asks if carol's appointment went okay the other day and if she was feeling better. watches as him and his older brother clear the table without even being asked, their mom moving to start bath time for the kids under six. can't remember the last time he sat at a dinner table with an entire family and felt warm. like what dinner's look like they feel like in the movies.
after, when he's walking down the hallway to tommy's room, he sees all the pictures of him and harrington. they're all over the the wall, some not even having tommy in them, just steve and other members of the family cheesing at the camera from basically fucking diapers all the way up til last year. that's when he realises. tommy and steve weren't just school friends. steve was fucking family. and he left. over a fucking girl.
suddenly, billy gets it. he fucking Gets it. gets what it's like to have a family member walk out, with little to no explanation or reason, or for the worst fucking reason of all. to have everyone in the world expect you to just be fucking okay with it, like your entire world hasn't just changed, like you aren't eating dinner with one less plate setting now, like birthdays aren't suddenly forevermore gonna be one person short. he fucking gets it.
tommy looks embarrassed, though, when he catches billy eyeing the pictures, the red so obvious on his cheeks, and it feels like this is the first time billy's seen him without the act he puts on at school. billy just gives him a slight nod, then walks past the bathroom and flirts with his mom, feeling good about the way tommy groans behind him.
billy makes more of an effort after that, and tommy stops trying so hard.
maybe one night, after a slightly wild party at some cheerleader's house, him and tommy split to get some food from benny's, walking the whole way cos they're both not in any condition to drive, and tommy ends up spilling the details of what actually happened between him and steve. not just the shit that's been spreading around school, either. the real shit.
billy listens, still slightly drunk and definitely fucking high, and ends up vaguely mentioning his mom. he cuts himself off quickly though, cos even when he's wasted he knows not to expose himself like that. but tommy looks at him, and he nods, and he moves the conversation along.
they get close, after that.
they don't cling to each other at school, with tommy usually floating between anyone and everyone, carol leading the way, and billy only gracing the basketball table with his presence maybe once a week, the other days ditching to his car or hiding out under bleachers becos he’s sick and tired of people, but out of school, they're a bit more attached.
tommy's mom loves billy, and apparently, so do his siblings. well–the younger ones do, at least. the teens and the two older two seem unfazed by him at best, and wary of him at worst. that's probably fair though, considering his reputation.
it takes less than a month for billy to clock the fact that tommy doesn’t seem to “get” music. tommy says he considers it something you put on in the background while you do shit, just to have some noise, and billy pulls the car over immediately and gives him a wild look. he pulls out a mixed cd from the glovebox that has a decent chunk of his favourite songs, and when tommy says he's never heard a single one, billy loses his fucking mind for fifteen minutes straight before promising him that before the years out, tommy will understand music.
tommy just agrees, having learnt early on that billy's gonna billy, and he's expressive and passionate about so fucking little, so seeing him get so worked up about something tommy considers so small is like. kind of fucking adorable. he sits there and listens as billy explains the difference between one band and the next and thinks–he's never actually heard billy sound so genuinely happy to be talking about something before, like his love for it is roots deep.
and then–there's eddie.
he fucking hates billy on principal alone, at first. heard the talk and rumours about him from day one, his name even being whispered about by hellfire members, and instantly judged and stereotyped the fuck out of him. knows it's pretty pot, kettle–the whole hating each other becos stereotypes etc but like. no way this new california basketball guy isn't gonna tear eddie to shreds. there's no way.
so, he doesn't wait to see how billy treats him, just expects that he's gonna fuck with him the same way all the other assholes do, and writes him off as a waste of time, just like all the other jocks are.
gets the surprise of his life when billy not only acknowledges him publicly at a party, but also knows him by name and talks to him at school. usually, his crowd treats him like his social status is contagious, and keeps any interaction to a quick and private arrangement. except then he's walking down the corridor at school and his name is being yelled across the hall, and suddenly billy hargrove's standing in front of him, a kind of terrifying look on his face.
eddie rolls with it though, figures his buddies will catch him up to speed and explain the rules that keep things flowing around here, and billy'll never speak to him again.
that's not what happens, though. what happens is one of jason's dipshit besties throws an arm over billy's shoulder and laughs, calls eddie a freak like it's the funniest and most original insult to ever exist, and tells billy that they don't actually have to talk to him, that they can get anything they want from samson's older brother who's back from college.
billy shrugs the guy off, "you mean that shit that you were sharing around at patrick's last week? yeah, fuck that. at least munson's shit is good."
eddie watches the scene unfold with slight interest, but writes billy off again when he walks away with the crowd, having gotten the information he needed.
charges him double and a half when billy eventually tracks him down behind the school, and billy gives him a flat look but still hands over the money.
"that the standard price, or you just being a little bitch about it?"
"whatever you wanna tell yourself, short guy."
billy rolls his eyes, but takes the baggie eddie hands him and walks away, flipping him the bird over his shoulder as he goes.
eddie watches him leave and shakes his head. thinks, at least that'll be the last of it.
feels his eyes widen slightly the next week when billy rocks up again, money already in hand.
"price has actually went up this week, sorry man. must've forgot to send you the newsletter," eddie shrugs, walking straight past him and dumping his bag on the table.
"fuckin–seriously? you seriously pulling this shit?"
eddie gets his little tin lunch box out of his bag, not even sparing him a glance.
"supply and demand, gotta make a buck, you know how it is," eddie shrugs again and waits to hear billy's footsteps walk away. that doesn't happen. instead, he hears billy take a deep breath, mutter a fucksake under his breath, then hears his footsteps approach.
"well, how much is it this week, then?"
eddie looks at him over his shoulder, then turns around fully, a slow grin growing on his face. "how much you got?"
watches the flash of anger and frustration cross over billy's face before he seems to reign himself in.
"just–just give me my fucking shit, munson, i swear to god."
eddie just watches him and waits, letting him sweat a bit, before grinning at him, all teeth, then turns back around.
he grabs some things from his little stash then slaps three baggies in billy's hand.
billy clenches his fist around it, before taking another calming breath, then nods.
"how much?"
"same as last week."
billy gives him a look, and eddie snorts.
"supply and demand," he shrugs again, twirling his hair.
billy huffs, slapping the money down on the table.
eddie winks at him.
billy becomes a pretty regular customer after that, even though he looks at eddie like he thinks he’s batshit crazy most days. doesn't stop him from asking for his phone number though, complaining that sneaking notes in lockers is fucking corny.
next thing eddie knows, billy’s rocking up at his trailer and banging on his door, inviting himself in. eddie would like to pretend to give more of a fuck, but honestly, billy isn't actually that bad. and uncle wayne fucking loves him for some reason.
billy clocks his guitar on his second visit, and sniffs out his fucking heart wide crush on chrissy cunningham on the fourth, and eddie never knows peace affer that.
it’s a bright as fuck day when billy finally figures out a way to merge his two worlds and get both eddie and tommy into the same place at the same time, and it happens purely by his own intervention.
billy's driving tommy home when eddie’s van mysteriously breaks down, and he calls for a lift. billy eyes his glovebox, where he’s stashed a small but important part of eddies engine, and thinks hell fuckin’ yeah your van’s broke down.
he smirks into his phone as he listens to eddie stress, quickly checking on his passenger as he thinks about the way eddie’s face always screws up whenever he mentions him, and how tommy always looks downright uncomfortable every time he mentions spending time at munson’s trailer.
but. here's the thing. he doesn't give a fuck. what he does give a fuck about is splitting his time between the two, like a fucking child of divorce, when he could simply just hang out with them both at once, them all chilling together. of course, that involes playing matchmaker. or just like. force them into getting stockholm syndrome about each other or some shit. but whatever. as long as something works. he’s not picky.
he flips his turn signal on and does a u-turn, shrugging when tommy asks where they’re going.
when he pulls up behind eddie’s van, tommy’s face does something complicated, and billy holds back a snort. he gives tommy one last sideway glance before climbing out and going to find eddie.
“what’s the damage?” he calls out, walking up to the front.
“fuck if i know, man. i look after her the best i can, but she’s old as shit and high maintenance, and i’m fucking broke,” eddie says from the front seat where he’s been waiting, looking at billy like maybe he’ll know the answer.
“just leave it. i’ll come back later and have a look. got a passenger though, so. we gotta go,” billy waves his hand dismissively before nodding his head towards his car.
“oh shit, little red’s here?” eddie asks, hopping out and walking alongside him.
billy snorts. “worse.”
eddie opens the back passenger door and ducks down to look before standing straight back up.
“tell me you’re joking,” he says, sounding fucking pained.
billy laughs. “get in the fucking car, freak.”
it’s the most awkward and uncomfortable drive he’s had since he got his own car, and he spends most of the time trying to make fucking conversation with them both only for them to give him stilted and one word answers back.
“holy fuck,” billy breaks, pulling up in front of tommy’s house. he locks the car doors before anyone can split and turns in his seat. “what’s the big deal between you two? it can’t be that fucking bad. you’re both like–harmless. fucking bitchy, and definitely petty, and both fucking dramatic, but like. harmless. what’s the beef?”
tommy stays silent, making sure to look anywhere but them, while eddie leans forward to look between them. he looks from billy, to tommy, then back to billy.
“just–history,” eddie sighs, giving tommy a look.
billy stares blankly between them both. “history,” he deadpans back.
“well, we have went to school together for most of our lives, even been in most of the same classes in high school,” eddie reasons, sounding offended that billy’s not getting it.
“boo hoo, he stole your lunch money,” billy bitches back, giving eddie a bewildered look, “move past it. you’re like, 20, dude.”
eddie gives him an incredulous look right back, and billy shrugs, unlocking the car doors. tommy bolts.
“christ, man. you don’t get it,” eddie starts after he’s jumped in the front seat and they’ve started to drive away, “you haven't been at the bottom of the food chain.”
billy raises an eyebrow at him, ‘cause like fuck has he never been at the bottom of the food chain, and eddie fucking knows that. billy’s turned up at his trailer enough times now after a run in with his dad for eddie to have put the pieces together.
“that’s fucking different, don’t even try to compare,” eddie shoots back instantly, throwing his arms out.
“yeah, ‘cause one’s fucking high school bullshit, and one’s my fucking homelife. like, dude. come on, seriously? he bullied you? i fucking bully you.”
“yeah but you bully me because you want to fuck me, he bullied me for like–fucking everything. living in a trailer, hellfire club,” he starts listing, “my parents and all that bullshit–my fucking band–”
“yeah, and i tried to fuck your uncle last week,” billy cuts him off, sitting there and giving him a blank look.
eddie looks scandalised before a smile starts to crack, a slight laugh coming out. “you are such a fucking asshole.”
billy laughs right back, making an illegal turn and flooring it, “fuck you, i’m your hottest fucking customer. now, let’s go fix your fucking van.”
“tommy ain’t that bad,” billy tries again as he puts eddies van back into working condition, pulling the piece he took out earlier from his jacket and putting it back in the engine, eddie none the wiser sitting in the driver's seat.
eddie raises his eyebrows at him when he pops up to look at him over the hood, “uh huh. sure. tommy hagen’s got a heart of gold.”
billy rolls his eyes then bends back over, fixing up the last few things before slamming the hood shut.
“seriously. he’s like, chill, once you get to know him. he pissed me off too when i first met him. then, i actually gave him the time of day, and now–” billy shrugs, wiping his hands and smearing some grease around, then walking around to eddie’s door.
“why the hell do you care so much���what? you want us to all share friendship bracelets? want us to jam together?” eddie questions, looking at billy through his rolled down window.
billy lets out a deep breath. “‘cause. we’re almost graduated, we’re basically fucking adults, and i don't want to spend my fucking summer having to divide my days going between you both because you guys can’t get over shit from middle school. we were all fuckin’ pricks when we were twelve. luckily, you two both grew out of it, but i sure as shit didn't. so, either learn to get along, or i’ll make you fucking get along.”
billy pulls out a pack of smokes, gets one out, gives eddie a salute, then lights up and walks away.
billy’s words bounce around in his head the following days, and when billy tells him to meet him at his car after school three days later and he rocks up to tommy and carol fucking perkins sitting in the back seat, eddie stops for a minute before standing tall, then throws himself into the front passenger seat.
billy smiles his most angelic smile at him, and when eddie turns around, tommy won’t meet his eye. carol smirks at him and pops her bubblegum. “‘sup, eddie.”
eddie didn't even know she knew his name. he lifts his hand in a weird little wave before turning back around and facing the road. “fuck you,” he mutters under his breath, sinking down in his seat.
billy laughs and drops his hand to rest on eddie’s knee, squeezing it. “we’re gonna have fun, baby,” he mumbles back.
after a few blocks, billy pulls up to benny’s diner and cuts the engine.
“you said ‘meet me at my car, it’s important’,” eddie deadpans, looking around the busy carpark in the peak of the after school rush, tommy and carol already getting out.
“yeah,” billy deadpans right back, eyes looking fucking gleeful, “after school milkshakes. most important part of the day.”
“you’re lactose intolerant,” eddie breathes out disbelievingly as they both reach for their car doors.
“i know,” billy grins, pushing his door open and stepping out, then turning around and leaning in, “now let’s go, hot stuff.”
and maybe one day i'll finish this. oops.
#theres more and i have three different au's where they end up in a band together but. too lazy to type more rn#also billy and eddie being the type of friends where everyones like..... are they..... are they together.... wait huh.....#but obviously. eddiechrissy is real and true#and billy. well hes bi as fuck and will obviously meet someone that hawkins could never create#but basically!!!! eddie and tommy finding themselves in situations together all becos of billy#and it being awkward and weird and stilted#until one day they realise it isn't anymore#GOD the idea of them being in a band and having fans and stans#like the idea of them doing interviews and eddie being like. we went to school together. tommy bullied me. i was billys dealer.#billy: i was tommys bi-awakening#tommy: sometimes i wonder what my life would be like if i went to community college instead of joining these tools in a band#hello the thought of tommy being the drummer and just drumming over them everytime they dont shut the fuck up on stage#billy and eddie turning to him like ohhhh look whos too good to listen to us now huh. remember when u idolised us#mungrove#hagangrove#billy x eddie x tommy#nqff#m#text
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
me: i'll create a tua discord group
also me: how do u create discord groups
#status post#dfnvjsdfklds#i made one before i swear#fdnojnfoe#fuck#i forgot#i dont even remember how to manage groups anymore lmao#well all for the tua fandom#i got u guys#i swear
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
im so glad i dont write fic on tumblr anymore genuinely its so hard to be a fic writer but esp in the kotlc fandom
#i dont know this isnt rlly inspired bu anything i just kinda remembered when i used to post fic here#i remember id used to be LUCKY if i got like 20 notes bc most ppl didnt even get that#like fr kotlc fic writers get the worst of it genuinely its so hard getting interaction even if youre popular and well known and all that#and idk maybe its bc were a pretty young fandom but like no one comments or anything anymore#wattpad?? i have like 100k views and maybe. 1k stars or whatever like yall realize how bad that is right#and ig ao3 is better but the hits to kudos/comments ratio is still soo sucky#ive written in other fandoms and rven if theyre small at least ppl comment and shit?? more than here ifl#everyone still writing fic in this fandom deserves a holiday or smth#avery rambles
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
Every day I am reminded that 90% of my problems would be solved if I actually listened to my intuition like ever
#my intuition: 'thats stupid. dont do that'#me: hm.. anyway ! :D#literally it does not register.. 😒#ok so what i did that was embarrassingly stupid.... ugh ok.. eh..#its like genuinely genuinely stupid ok like actually#ugh#ok so im making a new passport and i assumed that since the old one is old i didnt need it anymore#and so i cut out the cute little picture of myself for my travel journal and threw the rest of the passport away#meanwhile thinking: hmm. well this doesn't feel right but google said it was fine so i guess its fine. anyway look at that cute picture :D#and now i realise that the police need the old passport for when im taking out the new passport#so yes. embarrassingly stupid. there u go#i feel not great abt all this tbb. my brain has a tendency to overreact so now im convinced im not gonna be able to travel like i planned#plus im totally going to passport jail for idiots who cut up their own passport and throw them away#WHY LITERALLY WHY#i just wanted the cute little picture IM SORRY DONT TAKE ME TO JAIL 💔💔💔💔💔#no but actually i do feel very not great about this genuinely actually genuinely </3#the curse of scrapbooking i guess#is there a way i can tell the police im literally a neurodivergent (ex)minor ? and that this old passport thing is very offensive to me#anyhow.. yes its ok to laugh at my stupidity here but pls also remember im fragile 😢 💔 a poor little meow meow or something to that effect
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i have a date with someone this weekend and im so nervous#i haven't been on a first date since high school and even then the stakes were pretty low cuz i wasnt all that invested in the potential#and im getting to the point where i almost dont want to go anymore because the anxiety is so high#but i really want to meet him and i really want it to go well 😭#if anyone's looking for me i will be facedown on the floor trying to remember how to be a human being
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i recently brought that story up to my mom and told her how much it ruined my life and she completely forgot she had told me and she was just like lol ... sorry
#the earrings one . SHE WAS SO DETAILED WHEN SHE TOLD ME TOO AND IT WAS LIKE JUST B4 I WENT TO GET MY EARS PIERCED FOR THE FIRST TIME .#im not actually mad its quite funny but also omg sometimes i think abtit and i like fullbody shudder and im glad i dont wear earrings#anymore... even tho i have been wanting to get repierced#ive made a rule that im not allowed to get piercings again until i 1. move out and 2. start being better at taking care of my self#when i had my piercings i was preeeetty good at taking care of them despite everything but still yk. one of my ear piercings is kind of a#mess bc i. well this is kind of narsty so tw for potentially kind of painful story#but like i tried to force an earring into it one time and Well now i have like. the original piercing and then a little branch path LOL.#its more healed now it used to be like. a noticeable lump in my ear for a while#noticeable if u touched it#but ya. idk if its fixable or not Oh well#i dont think i rly am a jewelry guy anyways rly it usually scares me sensory wise#but i kknd of miss having piercings especially my septum ....#im pretty sure i got my septum pierced b4 i got my nose pierced. idr tho#i was craaaazy back then. If u remember my septum piercing story you understand if you dont ughhh im sick of typing . pay more attention in#connorclass (joke)#or just wait until the next time i talk abt my septum i repeat myself all the time
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
tuinkign ablout. Hanahaki Disease adn how we aplareentlt have a similar thing in our system. those Effected dont cough up flowers (... often) but instead find that certain flowers sprout off of them at random. it's not painful until it Is (#yearning and all) and Yes the members mainly effected by this are our bpd holders . and then daisy but whatever the fuck is going on with daisy is like. idk he's an outlier adn should not be counted
#pk;m curly🩹#suffice to say im finding it hard to sleep with all this lavender everywhere#i. well . Y'KNOW. <2#usually the lavender sprouts from our heads. just behind our ears. at random mind you. or maybe there's correlation#maybe it's whenever you're on our mind. which is... often‚ yes‚ but‚#fhfhdhdhdjfn#sometimes the love gets. painful to feel. it overflows and that's when the flowers start sprouting inside our chests i think#and that's not like. a death wish or anything it doesn't kill us. it's like a minor nuisance that'll ease up in a few hours#but usually the flowers appear behind our ears. a symbol to show how much you mean to us.#in my case specifically they sprout all through the gaps in my bandages. Alllll over my head. i dont exactly have ears anymore for#the flowers to sprout behind. dhdhdhfbfdj#and right now i feel one lodged in my chest. it'll dissipate in a lil bit but for now... mm.#it... hurts. in a good way.#if i remember I'll tell you to your face but whenever you read this i want you to know that loving you is not hard at all.#easiest thing in the world‚ really#you mean the world to us and I'm glad we met you. I'm glad we stayed alive long enough for our paths to cross#... i do have an art idea based off this but it leans more into the horror of hanahaki but i think it'll be fun#@🗡️#this. go.t rambly sorry
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
ouaaaaaghhh i've been on a bit of a pokemon binge lately......... i should crack open my old pokemon games and take a peek at my teams :,) i wish i still had my old copy of conquest and black 2 though............ :(
#gu6chan's musings#im so sad because literally ALL my pokemon games i've had as a teen i still have#up to sun and moon which i got on christmas when i was NINETEEN lmao!!!#but yeah pokemon was technically my first fandom ig???? i used to watch my brother play pokemon yellow and crystal a lot when i was TINY#but i never ACTUALLY played pokemon or video games in general myself until my older sister surprised me with my first video game console#and video game when she came up from florida 😭 a black dsi with pokemon black; i was 13 and my dad HATED her for it like 'Why are you#giving her videogames??? she's a girl :/' BUT I HAD IT!!!! MY FIRST EVER POKEMON GAME THAT BELONGED TO MEEEEE#i loved the SHIT out of that game and then got black 2; soulsilver and platinum; pokemon conquest; got the 3ds games...#i still have platinum/soulsilver as well as all the mainline 3ds games i believe#but conquest; black; and black 2 i lost :( literally my FAVOURITES i took them everywhere with me (which is why i lost them lmao)#funny enough i know exactly where black 2 IS though; its in the pocket of a jacket i owned but lost back between 2013-2014???#if i find the jacket it will 100% be in there; i just couldn't find the jacket and tbh idek if its still around anymore or is in storage#but if it is!!!! i'll literally cry lmao#black 2 is where i got my first level 100 pokemon; a magneton....... i ADORED that little bastard ouaaaghh....#i dont believe i ever managed to get past the league in black 2 though bc i remember being so pissed i couldnt get to see the other side of#the map beyond castelia city lmao#14-15 years old and i STILL didn't believe in stat moves 😭 i deserved to get shot#But fun fact: I DID get a new copy of Black a few years back!!! only it 1. already had save data on it and 2. it was full of rare/hacked#legendaries young me could only ever DREAM of having so i can't get myself to restart the save data even though i rlly want to.......#oh but funny enough!!! i also still have the 14 y/o dsi i was gifted back then; it still works though the battery cover is missing so you#have to hold it lol#but aaaaa so many fond memories of playing black and black 2... black 2 especially since i never really got to finish it lol#like#i finished the main CAMPAIGN with plasma and ghetsis trying to fucking kill you and all that (Something which i remember being so :0!!!?!?!#when i first saw it omgggg its such a clear memory aaaa) but i think like#i got up to the league and could never beat it........ so i just went back to training my mons till i got a level 100 magneton lmao#so many good memories; i hope i can get copies of black 2 and conquest again someday...
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
im boreddddd out of my fucking mind
#was fun social for five days now im all alone and idk what to do suddenly what did i do before i dont remember#its raining now so i cant walk around anymore or well i guess i could but also :/ and this room is tiny and im just sitting here like#hellooooooooooo can anybody hear meeeeee i need enrichment#soph txts#txt
4 notes
·
View notes