#like the idea of them doing interviews and eddie being like. we went to school together. tommy bullied me. i was billys dealer.

[biillys]

uhhh yo i'm thinkin about. tommy and eddie not Getting each other but Dealing with each other becos of billy. but then somehow without even realising, they actually become pals too. hashtag billy's impact.

then ofc billy + eddie + tommy bestie-ism. becos i want it.

anyway. rewind becos we need to talk about billy + tommy and billy + eddie first before we slap tommy + eddie together

billy initially hating tommy when he first rolled into town, thinking he was kind of pathetic for how he was acting about harrington ditching him, and thinking he was just genuinely like. trying too fucking hard. trying to hard to be liked, to get attention, to get his fucking peers approval. billy already knew. high school didn't fucking matter. other kids approval and opinions didn't mean shit. everyone was fake as fuck. he just had to make it ‘til graduation, then he'd be fucking gone.

but then. he somehow ends up getting roped into joining tommy and his family for dinner one night, becos he's unable to say no to tommy's mom who asked him, and suddenly, he's seeing tommy in a whole new light.

he didn't know that tommy had a fucking baseball teams worth of siblings, and was the 3rd eldest. he watches as tommy cuts up his baby sisters dinner, pulling faces at his little brother next to her the entire time to make him laugh. listens as the entire table actually talks and interacts with each other, how his twin little sisters ask about when carol's coming over next, and how his mom cuts in and asks if carol's appointment went okay the other day and if she was feeling better. watches as him and his older brother clear the table without even being asked, their mom moving to start bath time for the kids under six. can't remember the last time he sat at a dinner table with an entire family and felt warm. like what dinner's look like they feel like in the movies.

after, when he's walking down the hallway to tommy's room, he sees all the pictures of him and harrington. they're all over the the wall, some not even having tommy in them, just steve and other members of the family cheesing at the camera from basically fucking diapers all the way up til last year. that's when he realises. tommy and steve weren't just school friends. steve was fucking family. and he left. over a fucking girl.

suddenly, billy gets it. he fucking Gets it. gets what it's like to have a family member walk out, with little to no explanation or reason, or for the worst fucking reason of all. to have everyone in the world expect you to just be fucking okay with it, like your entire world hasn't just changed, like you aren't eating dinner with one less plate setting now, like birthdays aren't suddenly forevermore gonna be one person short. he fucking gets it.

tommy looks embarrassed, though, when he catches billy eyeing the pictures, the red so obvious on his cheeks, and it feels like this is the first time billy's seen him without the act he puts on at school. billy just gives him a slight nod, then walks past the bathroom and flirts with his mom, feeling good about the way tommy groans behind him.

billy makes more of an effort after that, and tommy stops trying so hard.

maybe one night, after a slightly wild party at some cheerleader's house, him and tommy split to get some food from benny's, walking the whole way cos they're both not in any condition to drive, and tommy ends up spilling the details of what actually happened between him and steve. not just the shit that's been spreading around school, either. the real shit.

billy listens, still slightly drunk and definitely fucking high, and ends up vaguely mentioning his mom. he cuts himself off quickly though, cos even when he's wasted he knows not to expose himself like that. but tommy looks at him, and he nods, and he moves the conversation along.

they get close, after that.

they don't cling to each other at school, with tommy usually floating between anyone and everyone, carol leading the way, and billy only gracing the basketball table with his presence maybe once a week, the other days ditching to his car or hiding out under bleachers becos he’s sick and tired of people, but out of school, they're a bit more attached. 

tommy's mom loves billy, and apparently, so do his siblings. well–the younger ones do, at least. the teens and the two older two seem unfazed by him at best, and wary of him at worst. that's probably fair though, considering his reputation. 

it takes less than a month for billy to clock the fact that tommy doesn’t seem to “get” music. tommy says he considers it something you put on in the background while you do shit, just to have some noise, and billy pulls the car over immediately and gives him a wild look. he pulls out a mixed cd from the glovebox that has a decent chunk of his favourite songs, and when tommy says he's never heard a single one, billy loses his fucking mind for fifteen minutes straight before promising him that before the years out, tommy will understand music. 

tommy just agrees, having learnt early on that billy's gonna billy, and he's expressive and passionate about so fucking little, so seeing him get so worked up about something tommy considers so small is like. kind of fucking adorable. he sits there and listens as billy explains the difference between one band and the next and thinks–he's never actually heard billy sound so genuinely happy to be talking about something before, like his love for it is roots deep.

and then–there's eddie. 

he fucking hates billy on principal alone, at first. heard the talk and rumours about him from day one, his name even being whispered about by hellfire members, and instantly judged and stereotyped the fuck out of him. knows it's pretty pot, kettle–the whole hating each other becos stereotypes etc but like. no way this new california basketball guy isn't gonna tear eddie to shreds. there's no way.

so, he doesn't wait to see how billy treats him, just expects that he's gonna fuck with him the same way all the other assholes do, and writes him off as a waste of time, just like all the other jocks are.

gets the surprise of his life when billy not only acknowledges him publicly at a party, but also knows him by name and talks to him at school. usually, his crowd treats him like his social status is contagious, and keeps any interaction to a quick and private arrangement. except then he's walking down the corridor at school and his name is being yelled across the hall, and suddenly billy hargrove's standing in front of him, a kind of terrifying look on his face.

eddie rolls with it though, figures his buddies will catch him up to speed and explain the rules that keep things flowing around here, and billy'll never speak to him again.

that's not what happens, though. what happens is one of jason's dipshit besties throws an arm over billy's shoulder and laughs, calls eddie a freak like it's the funniest and most original insult to ever exist, and tells billy that they don't actually have to talk to him, that they can get anything they want from samson's older brother who's back from college.

billy shrugs the guy off, "you mean that shit that you were sharing around at patrick's last week? yeah, fuck that. at least munson's shit is good."

eddie watches the scene unfold with slight interest, but writes billy off again when he walks away with the crowd, having gotten the information he needed.

charges him double and a half when billy eventually tracks him down behind the school, and billy gives him a flat look but still hands over the money.

"that the standard price, or you just being a little bitch about it?"

"whatever you wanna tell yourself, short guy."

billy rolls his eyes, but takes the baggie eddie hands him and walks away, flipping him the bird over his shoulder as he goes.

eddie watches him leave and shakes his head. thinks, at least that'll be the last of it.

feels his eyes widen slightly the next week when billy rocks up again, money already in hand.

"price has actually went up this week, sorry man. must've forgot to send you the newsletter," eddie shrugs, walking straight past him and dumping his bag on the table.

"fuckin–seriously? you seriously pulling this shit?"

eddie gets his little tin lunch box out of his bag, not even sparing him a glance.

"supply and demand, gotta make a buck, you know how it is," eddie shrugs again and waits to hear billy's footsteps walk away. that doesn't happen. instead, he hears billy take a deep breath, mutter a fucksake under his breath, then hears his footsteps approach.

"well, how much is it this week, then?"

eddie looks at him over his shoulder, then turns around fully, a slow grin growing on his face. "how much you got?"

watches the flash of anger and frustration cross over billy's face before he seems to reign himself in.

"just–just give me my fucking shit, munson, i swear to god."

eddie just watches him and waits, letting him sweat a bit, before grinning at him, all teeth, then turns back around.

he grabs some things from his little stash then slaps three baggies in billy's hand.

billy clenches his fist around it, before taking another calming breath, then nods.

"how much?"

"same as last week."

billy gives him a look, and eddie snorts.

"supply and demand," he shrugs again, twirling his hair.

billy huffs, slapping the money down on the table.

eddie winks at him.

billy becomes a pretty regular customer after that, even though he looks at eddie like he thinks he’s batshit crazy most days. doesn't stop him from asking for his phone number though, complaining that sneaking notes in lockers is fucking corny. 

next thing eddie knows, billy’s rocking up at his trailer and banging on his door, inviting himself in. eddie would like to pretend to give more of a fuck, but honestly, billy isn't actually that bad. and uncle wayne fucking loves him for some reason.

billy clocks his guitar on his second visit, and sniffs out his fucking heart wide crush on chrissy cunningham on the fourth, and eddie never knows peace affer that. 

it’s a bright as fuck day when billy finally figures out a way to merge his two worlds and get both eddie and tommy into the same place at the same time, and it happens purely by his own intervention.

billy's driving tommy home when eddie’s van mysteriously breaks down, and he calls for a lift. billy eyes his glovebox, where he’s stashed a small but important part of eddies engine, and thinks hell fuckin’ yeah your van’s broke down.

he smirks into his phone as he listens to eddie stress, quickly checking on his passenger as he thinks about the way eddie’s face always screws up whenever he mentions him, and how tommy always looks downright uncomfortable every time he mentions spending time at munson’s trailer. 

but. here's the thing. he doesn't give a fuck. what he does give a fuck about is splitting his time between the two, like a fucking child of divorce, when he could simply just hang out with them both at once, them all chilling together. of course, that involes playing matchmaker. or just like. force them into getting stockholm syndrome about each other or some shit. but whatever. as long as something works. he’s not picky.

he flips his turn signal on and does a u-turn, shrugging when tommy asks where they’re going.

when he pulls up behind eddie’s van, tommy’s face does something complicated, and billy holds back a snort. he gives tommy one last sideway glance before climbing out and going to find eddie.

“what’s the damage?” he calls out, walking up to the front.

“fuck if i know, man. i look after her the best i can, but she’s old as shit and high maintenance, and i’m fucking broke,” eddie says from the front seat where he’s been waiting, looking at billy like maybe he’ll know the answer.

“just leave it. i’ll come back later and have a look. got a passenger though, so. we gotta go,” billy waves his hand dismissively before nodding his head towards his car.

“oh shit, little red’s here?” eddie asks, hopping out and walking alongside him.

billy snorts. “worse.”

eddie opens the back passenger door and ducks down to look before standing straight back up. 

“tell me you’re joking,” he says, sounding fucking pained.

billy laughs. “get in the fucking car, freak.”

it’s the most awkward and uncomfortable drive he’s had since he got his own car, and he spends most of the time trying to make fucking conversation with them both only for them to give him stilted and one word answers back.

“holy fuck,” billy breaks, pulling up in front of tommy’s house. he locks the car doors before anyone can split and turns in his seat. “what’s the big deal between you two? it can’t be that fucking bad. you’re both like–harmless. fucking bitchy, and definitely petty, and both fucking dramatic, but like. harmless. what’s the beef?”

tommy stays silent, making sure to look anywhere but them, while eddie leans forward to look between them. he looks from billy, to tommy, then back to billy.

“just–history,” eddie sighs, giving tommy a look.

billy stares blankly between them both. “history,” he deadpans back.

“well, we have went to school together for most of our lives, even been in most of the same classes in high school,” eddie reasons, sounding offended that billy’s not getting it.

“boo hoo, he stole your lunch money,” billy bitches back, giving eddie a bewildered look, “move past it. you’re like, 20, dude.”

eddie gives him an incredulous look right back, and billy shrugs, unlocking the car doors. tommy bolts.

“christ, man. you don’t get it,” eddie starts after he’s jumped in the front seat and they’ve started to drive away, “you haven't been at the bottom of the food chain.”

billy raises an eyebrow at him, ‘cause like fuck has he never been at the bottom of the food chain, and eddie fucking knows that. billy’s turned up at his trailer enough times now after a run in with his dad for eddie to have put the pieces together.

“that’s fucking different, don’t even try to compare,” eddie shoots back instantly, throwing his arms out.

“yeah, ‘cause one’s fucking high school bullshit, and one’s my fucking homelife. like, dude. come on, seriously? he bullied you? i fucking bully you.”

“yeah but you bully me because you want to fuck me, he bullied me for like–fucking everything. living in a trailer, hellfire club,” he starts listing, “my parents and all that bullshit–my fucking band–”

“yeah, and i tried to fuck your uncle last week,” billy cuts him off, sitting there and giving him a blank look. 

eddie looks scandalised before a smile starts to crack, a slight laugh coming out. “you are such a fucking asshole.”

billy laughs right back, making an illegal turn and flooring it, “fuck you, i’m your hottest fucking customer. now, let’s go fix your fucking van.”

“tommy ain’t that bad,” billy tries again as he puts eddies van back into working condition, pulling the piece he took out earlier from his jacket and putting it back in the engine, eddie none the wiser sitting in the driver's seat.

eddie raises his eyebrows at him when he pops up to look at him over the hood, “uh huh. sure. tommy hagen’s got a heart of gold.”

billy rolls his eyes then bends back over, fixing up the last few things before slamming the hood shut.

“seriously. he’s like, chill, once you get to know him. he pissed me off too when i first met him. then, i actually gave him the time of day, and now–” billy shrugs, wiping his hands and smearing some grease around, then walking around to eddie’s door.

“why the hell do you care so much–what? you want us to all share friendship bracelets? want us to jam together?” eddie questions, looking at billy through his rolled down window.

billy lets out a deep breath. “‘cause. we’re almost graduated, we’re basically fucking adults, and i don't want to spend my fucking summer having to divide my days going between you both because you guys can’t get over shit from middle school. we were all fuckin’ pricks when we were twelve. luckily, you two both grew out of it, but i sure as shit didn't. so, either learn to get along, or i’ll make you fucking get along.”

billy pulls out a pack of smokes, gets one out, gives eddie a salute, then lights up and walks away.

billy’s words bounce around in his head the following days, and when billy tells him to meet him at his car after school three days later and he rocks up to tommy and carol fucking perkins sitting in the back seat, eddie stops for a minute before standing tall, then throws himself into the front passenger seat.

billy smiles his most angelic smile at him, and when eddie turns around, tommy won’t meet his eye. carol smirks at him and pops her bubblegum. “‘sup, eddie.”

eddie didn't even know she knew his name. he lifts his hand in a weird little wave before turning back around and facing the road. “fuck you,” he mutters under his breath, sinking down in his seat.

billy laughs and drops his hand to rest on eddie’s knee, squeezing it. “we’re gonna have fun, baby,” he mumbles back.

after a few blocks, billy pulls up to benny’s diner and cuts the engine.

“you said ‘meet me at my car, it’s important’,” eddie deadpans, looking around the busy carpark in the peak of the after school rush, tommy and carol already getting out.

“yeah,” billy deadpans right back, eyes looking fucking gleeful, “after school milkshakes. most important part of the day.”

“you’re lactose intolerant,” eddie breathes out disbelievingly as they both reach for their car doors.

“i know,” billy grins, pushing his door open and stepping out, then turning around and leaning in, “now let’s go, hot stuff.”

and maybe one day i'll finish this. oops.

[steddieasitgoes]

Stolen Kisses & Sundae Wishes

3.4K Words | Teen and Up | ao3 link

This was written for day three of @steddie-week. The prompts I used were first kiss and discover! As always it ended up way longer than I intended! You can read it below or on ao3. Enjoy!

"You know this basement used to be mine before Mike took it over?" Nancy says, looking around the cluttered basement fondly.

"Those little thieves," Eddie teases, stretching out on the worn, scratchy blue carpet.

They're all gathered in the Wheeler's basements — the kids banished to the Byers' new place for the weekend — to celebrate one last hang out before their lives change for the better. Nancy leaves for Emerson tomorrow afternoon. Argyle and Jonathan to New York on Monday. Robin, Steve, and Eddie scheduled to get the keys to their new apartment near Indiana State in a little over a week.

They're growing up.

And yet, the basement looks like they're still kids who don't know what they're doing with their lives.

The coffee table is piled high with pizza boxes and other snacks. A soda can tower barely hanging on as Robin adds another empty Coke can. The basement should be filled with beer cans and Palm Tree Delight joints, but none of that stuff has the same effect on them it once did. Getting drugged by Russians, making a drunken scene at parties, and waking up from on bad drug-enhanced nightmare has them all acting a bit more sober than usual.

Still, there's a rawness in the air that Steve's only used to being around at parties when everyone is under the influence, feeling happy and chatty.

"I had my first kiss right here," Nancy says, patting the paisley couch.

"Oh, are we talking about first kisses, brochachos?" Argyle asks, sitting up from where he's been sprawled out under Mike's designated DnD table. "Mine was wild."

"I'm sure it was," Jonathan says, rolling his eyes at his best friend. "But I don't think Nancy meant for everyone to share their stories."

"Aw, come on, my dude. It'll be fun!"

“I don’t know Argyle. I think Jonathan’s right on this one,” Steve chimes in.

It’s not the answer everyone was expecting from him by the way everyone’s heads whirl around to face him. Sure, he spent his high school years making out in crowded Hawkins High hallways, not caring who was watching. But this feels different.

First kisses are special and awkward, and well, if he’s honest, Steve doesn’t want to hear Eddie wax poetic about his first kiss like he knows he’ll do because Eddie is a storyteller. He doesn’t know how to tell them anything unless it’s woven with dragon slaying and metaphors that go over Steve’s head.

Last week, Robin had to give him the SparkNotes version of Eddie’s terrible interview after Eddie went on a ten-minute rant about the horrors of job interviews.

“Now we have to hear your first kiss story, Stevie. It must be really terrible if you don’t want to share with us,” Eddie teases, sitting up from the floor.

“Hate to break it to you, Munson, but it wasn’t anything exciting. Just an innocent first kiss in a dark room. I don’t even know what she looked like.”

Eddie groans, tossing his head back onto the empty space next to Nancy on the couch. His hair flops around him, draping over her thighs. “You’re the worst storyteller ever! Come on, Wheeler, paint us a picture of your first kiss. Show Stevie how it’s done.”

Steve doesn’t think Nancy is going to take Eddie’s bait, but she does, and Steve’s reminded yet again that he really has no idea what goes on in Nancy Wheeler’s head. Never did and never will.

Nancy goes on to tell them about Connor Fritz. They were childhood best friends before his family moved when his mom got a better teaching job at Northwestern. The basement was their post-school hangout, but unlike Mike and his friends, all they ever got up to down here was homework until one summer afternoon.

“We were supposed to go to the pool but stayed in instead. It was our final day together before he moved, and he was really nervous. I was too. We were starting middle school in a few weeks, and now we were going to be totally friendless. And kiss-less since we didn’t go to Carol’s 11th birthday party.”

“The spin-the-bottle party,” Steve snorts in remembrance. He still has no idea how Carol convinced her parents to leave them unattended in her basement for hours. It’s a good thing they all thought kissing was sex at that age. If not, well, Steve’s certain at least one kid would have been conceived in Carol’s game closet.

“The very one,” Nancy smiles. “So anyway, we were just talking about how mad we were that we weren’t going to be there for each other, and then he said something like, “well, I can still help you with one thing,” and then he kissed me.”

“That’s the sweetest first kiss story ever,” Robin coos from the floor. She’s lying on the same itchy blue carpet as Eddie, her head using Steve’s lap as her very own pillow.

It’s easy from their position for Steve to glance down at Robin to check in with her. Robin has her own streak of jealousy that runs through her, so he can’t imagine this conversation is any fun for her either. Instead of finding her lips pressed thinly together and a vacant look in her eyes, though, he finds her smiling.

Huh? She’s stronger than me, he thinks.

“What about you, Robin?”

“Oh me?” Robin laughs dryly, lifting her head out of Steve’s lap and pushing herself up into a seated position next to Steve. “I mean, I guess it was at summer camp in 1980 with this kid whose name I don’t even remember. But uh, I don’t really think it counts since I don’t exactly, you know, like kissing guys.”

“What’s the girl story then?” Eddie asks.

Without hesitating, Steve reaches a hand out to Robin. Lets it rest on her crossed thigh before giving her a reassuring squeeze.

This is also why he didn’t want this conversation to take place.

“It, uh, hasn’t happened yet.”

“No need to fret, Robin Hood! There will be plenty of dudettes to mack out with at that fancy school of yours. So many little fishies waiting for your lips.”

Robin snorts, shaking her head. “I hope your right,” she says, ducking her head for a moment. “What about you, Argyle?”

“Picture this, my dudes,” he says, hopping up onto his feet. “You’ve got Palm Tree Delight in one hand, a beautiful girl holding your other hand. The sky is doing that weird painter with the missing ear thing it does when all the colors start twirling together. And then everything starts spinning, and the next thing you know you’re in the grass with a beautiful girl on top of you, and she’s not just kissing you for Purple Palm Tree Delight, but she’s kissing you because she wants to taste your lips.”

“See, that’s how you tell a story!”

“Thanks, my dude.”

Eddie hops up on his feet, crossing the small distance to high-five Argyle. Their hands’ clasp in the moment, turning the innocent high-five into a weird handholding moment that neither seems to want to break.

Steve absolutely isn’t jealous.

“Yeah, well, not all of us are storytellers, Munson.”

“Allow me to give you a lesson in storytelling then,” Eddie says, finally prying his hand free from Argyle’s grasp. He saunters into the middle of the basement and gestures with his hands. “Everyone take your seats, please.”

Robin snorts as she crawls over to the couch, taking a seat on the floor where Eddie previously sat. Nancy’s still perched on the couch next to Jonathan, and Argyle collapses to his left. Steve’s the last to find his spot, making himself comfortable next to Robin.

“First, you start with the set up,” he says, talking directly at Steve before moving to address the rest of them. “It was 1976. I was ten years old, and I was in Hawkins visiting Wayne for the summer. Usually, my dad would bring me out to visit for a few days, but he got caught up with “work,” you know, hot-wiring cars and stripping them for parts, so I spent the whole summer here with Wayne.

“It was a humid July day. The air thick and hard to breathe,” he says, pausing to turn to Steve again. “A good story always has details about the senses, Stevie.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but keeps listening.

“I remember I was covered in sweat ‘cause Wayne had the day off and needed to patch up the patio of the trailer after I tore it up, saving a raccoon family. Course, I had to help. I was sweating buckets. My hair was shoulder-length at the time, and it was sticking to me, and so was everything else.

“We finally finished as the sun was setting and Wayne must’ve felt bad for keeping me hostage all day — not like I had anywhere else to go, really. Everyone already had their own friends in Hawkins. I was just some weird outsider who liked to feed raccoons. So, he felt bad and told me to take a quick shower ‘cause he was taking me out for ice cream.

“I’m thinking he’s taking me to the new Dairy Queen that I saw on the way into Hawkins a month ago. But no, the old man takes me to some rundown, hole-in-the wall ice cream parlor in the old downtown of Hawkins. The part they eventually tore down for Starcourt.

“And this place. Man, I’ll never forget it. It was like ice cream threw up inside. Every wall was painted after a different ice cream. And not the normal ones, either. There was a rainbow sherbet wall and turtle tracks one. A giant abstract sundae mural behind the counter.

“Jesus H. Christ and the name! I was only 11, but even I knew the name was an issue. I mean, who names an ice cream shop The Lick —-

“N’ Bite,” Steve supplies.

There’s a sinking feeling in Steve’s stomach when Eddie turns towards him again. Eddie hates being interrupted, a fact Steve knows because he’s constantly getting reprimanded for interrupting Eddie’s story flow. Whatever the hell that means. But the look Eddie’s giving him isn’t his usual one of annoyance; it’s one of pure curiosity.

“You know it?”

Steve nods. “Tommy’s mom used to take us there after basketball practice.”

“Huh, wouldn’t expect to see your type at a dive ice cream shop,” Eddie shrugs, then launches back into his story.

There’s another five minutes of Eddie describing all the flavors he sampled that day in great detail — “they had this one called fresh and clean that tasted like Wayne’s laundry detergent. I was so convinced it was one of the ingredients!” — before Eddie finally gets to the kiss side of the story.

“Wayne’s catching up with the only guy working the place, and I really want another scoop of Sinful Cinnamon, so I figure, what the hell? I’ll scoop it myself. But there’s none left in the tub, so I head into the back. There’s this giant walk-in freezer in the back that has all the tubs in it, and it’s cracked open.”

The sinking feeling in Steve’s stomach returns as Eddie keeps talking. He tries not to squirm next to Robin, doesn’t want to draw any attention to himself, but he can feel his heart beating faster and faster as realization hits Steve.

“Didn’t you used to hide out at an ice cream shop when your parents started arguing?” Robin whispers.

Steve nods, too scared of what his voice will sound like if he answers verbally.

"The damn door closes behind me, and it's pitch black in this room, right. And it's cold. So fucking cold. I thought my eyes were going to freeze over. Course, the door is locked from the inside, so I'm thinking, great, I'm going to die in a damn ice cream freezer, and my dad is gonna have my uncle arrested for child endangerment even though my dad's done way worse when I catch something out of the corner of my eye.

"Next thing I know, there's this kid standing in front of me. I thought I was hallucinating! All I could see were a pair of light-colored eyes in front cause everything else was so dark, but then he lamely asked if I was here looking for ice cream too, and I knew I didn't imagine him cause, dammit he would have said something a lot cooler if I was."

“What else was I supposed to say? I was a kid!”

Eddie whirls around so fast, his legs tangle as he moves to face them, but mostly Steve. Robin’s mouth is open wide beside Steve, jaw unhinged like she’s about to have it broken in two by fucking Vecna. Steve can’t see Nancy, but he can tell by the quiet “oh my gods” she’s uttering that not even she was expecting this plot twist.

“You were there?” Eddie shouts, voice high pitched and eyes wide in utter disbelief.

“Woah, my dudes,” Argyle says, glancing between the two of them. “You guys were both locked in the ice cream freezer together? That’s wild.”

“They weren’t just locked in there, Argyle,” Jonathan hisses, elbowing him in the ribs. “They’re each other’s first kisses.”

“That can’t be true!” Eddie throws his hands in the air and begins pacing. “Steve said his first kiss was with some girl in a dark room. That’s not what I’m describing!”

“I mean, I thought it was a girl. They had long hair, and I didn’t know any guys who had long hair back then,” Steve says, pushing himself up to his own feet. He doesn’t start pacing, though, feet frozen to their spot on the floor instead. “But I did have my first kiss in an ice cream freezer. That’s why it was dark.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s, uh, that’s a little weird, but we don’t know if it was the same ice cream freezer.”

“Do you regularly make it a habit of getting locked in ice cream freezers, Munson?” Steve snaps.

He doesn’t know why Eddie is reacting like this. A minute ago, he was fondly recounting the story of kissing some boy in a freezing cold ice cream freezer, and now? Now he’s trying way harder than he ever did in school to prove he didn’t kiss Steve. As if kissing Steve is a bad thing?

Is it a bad thing?

Sure, Eddie and Steve are friends now, but maybe there’s a part of Eddie that still hates Steve for who he was in high school.

Maybe, learning that Steve took this precious first from Eddie is the final straw.

“Hey, guys, why don’t we give them a minute to work this out?” Nancy says, already yanking Jonathan and Argyle up from the couch.

Robin hesitates as she looks at Steve. He knows she’s giving him an out, but he doesn’t take it. Gives her a small nod and a tight lip smile in return and sends her up the steps after Nancy and the guys.

When Steve turns back around, Eddie’s on the couch, head buried in his hands. He takes a deep breath before carefully lowering himself onto the opposite side of the couch.

“Everything okay over there, Munson?”

“Pretty far from it, Harrington.”

Steve tries not to wince at the mention of his last name. It’s been months since Eddie’s called him anything but Stevie in that annoying tilt of his voice. But here the ugly nickname is again. Driving a dagger straight through Steve’s heart.

Steve tries to assess the situation. Digs deep into that retired athlete's brain of his and tries to come up with a game-winning plan for how to navigate this conversation. But Steve's never been good with words. It's a lot easier to find the winning move when there are actual pawns to move instead of random letters spiraling through his brain.

The way he sees it, he has two options.

Option one: apologize. For what? Steve’s not sure, but that’s never stopped him from apologizing before. It’s not the ideal plan, but it’s the only plan Steve thinks will get Eddie to look at him again. And damn, does he miss Eddie’s eyes looking at him.

Option two: take the once-in-a-lifetime shot and tell Eddie the secret he’s been harboring since a certain March night when a broken bottle was dangerously close to his throat.

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“For what it’s worth, it was a great kiss.”

“Don’t bullshit me, man!” Eddie groans. “This is embarrassing enough as it is.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize kissing me was so embarrassing,” Steve winces, recoiling in on himself.

“That’s not—“ Eddie groans again as he finally pulls his hands away from his face. He takes a moment before he turns to face Steve. “Why aren’t you more embarrassed? I mean, your first kiss was with a guy. Doesn’t that weird you out?”

“No? You know I don’t care about that stuff.”

“Yeah, but this is different. This isn’t Robin kissing Vickie or me kissing some random guy at a club. This is you! Patron Saint of Heterosexuality, Steve Harrington, having his kiss virginity stolen by some guy!”

“You didn’t steal it! I kissed you if you remember the rest of the story,” Steve says, jabbing his finger into Eddie’s scarred bicep. “And I’d do it again, because I’m not the Patron Saint of Hetereo—whatever it is you said!”

Steve's not sure how to describe the sound Eddie emits from the depths of his throat. It's a shill, almost demogorgon-like, but it lacks the danger that comes with a screech like that. Eddie's eyes are big and wild, pupils taking over every inch of the rich, warm brown Steve's come to lose himself in.

“What are you saying, Steve?”

Steve shifts closer to Eddie on the couch, eyes glued to the shell-shocked expression on his face.

It’s now, or never, he thinks. The seconds are ticking by, and he has to take the shot now if he wants the satisfaction of the win.

“I like you, Eddie,” he whispers, loud enough for Eddie to hear but not loud enough for Robin and the rest of them to hear if they’re spying on them. Which he’s willing to bet they are. “I’ve liked you since March, and I spent the entire summer of 1976 liking you before I even knew who you were.”

“Steve, that’s—” Eddie shakes his head. “That’s ridiculous, you didn’t even know what I looked like. You thought I was a girl! It could have still been a girl! We don’t know for sure it was you I kissed!”

“Maybe this will help.”

Steve scoots closer, closing the gap between them but leaving enough space for Eddie to move away if he wants. He waits for a moment, and then another and only starts to lean in when Eddie gives him the smallest nod of his head.

Eddie shakes under Steve’s steadying hand as it moves to cup his cheek. He lets his thumb trace over the still-healing flesh of his scars as he tips Eddie’s head subtly to the left. And then Steve leans in, hot breath fanning over Eddie’s face. He watches Eddie’s eyelashes flutter shut and only when he’s certain they’re closed does he press his lips to Eddie’s.

It’s soft and tentative.

Maybe even a little bit awkward.

But then Eddie presses into him ever so gently, and the sparks fly.

Steve’s entire body breaks out with goosebumps. The same way they did all those years ago in the freezer, except this time, it has nothing to do with the arctic temperature.

They keep kissing. Gentle pecks, nothing more.

Steve’s too scared of scaring Eddie away with how deep his want is, and Eddie, well, Steve’s not entirely sure what’s going on in Eddie’s head, but he imagines he’s still reeling from this new discovery.

When they finally pull away, Eddie’s smiling. Dimples deep and on full display. He’s got a mischievous glint in his eye that Steve’s come to love from afar, but now that it’s directed at him? Well, Steve’s inside turn molten.

“Think our first kiss was sweeter, Stevie.”

Steve laughs and lets his head knock against Eddie’s boney shoulder as he buries his laughter in the crook of Eddie’s neck. “I did eat like three Turtle Track sundaes before I kissed you back then.”

Eddie hums. “Guess we better go get you a sundae then and try again.

Steve pulls away and looks at Eddie with his own face of bewilderment. “You want to? With me?”

“Steve,” Eddie jests. “I dreamt about the ice cream-flavored boy I kissed for years, until I found someone new to dream about in high school. Turns out, they turned out to be the same boy after all.”

[book-o-scams]

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Ed

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

[thedramaclubs]

Zazz

Summery: shits going down after prom and if you’ve seen the musical/movie be prepared for a gay panic from Patton

Warning: does get a little heated with one of the ships, and of course homophobia in the beginning

Ships: Logicality, Prinxiety, demus/dukeceit

When singing

Janus-orange (tumblr doesn’t have yellow)

Patton-blue

Both- purple

A few days after prom and things are going crazy. On Monday after school the news went to James Madison high to interview the school and Mrs Greene about what happened. Mrs Greene was now being interviewed.

“I’ve been told to say something. The courts said that Patton would not be safe if we allows him to attend prom with the other students because the uncomfortable truth is there are some people in our community that are offended by his life choices. We thought this arrangement was the only course of action.”

Suddenly news reports ask so many questions

“Mrs Greene are you homophobic?” “Are you saying sexuality is a life choice?” Then she exclaimed “ This is uncomfortable for me! To be infront of a camera like this. To read horrible things about my town. And I am just a mother. I am not any kind of a spokes person and I love all the students at James Madison high as much as my own son.” She walks up to Logan who was watching his mom being interviewed. “We are in this situation because of a group of people, privilege people from New York!”

She sighed

“They are the villains. You should be writing about them not us.”

Back at Patton’s house he and Janus we’re watching the interview on his computer. Patton had been in his room for days hiding from it all. He wore his cat onesie that Logan got for him on their 1 year anniversary of being together. He wore it because he wanted to feel like Logan was giving him a hug and he wanted to feel like Logan was their with him.

“Ugh that women totally doesn’t make my skin crawl!”

“I can’t wrap my head around all this. This is a nightmare. I’ve never been so alone in my life.” Patton started to cry a little. Janus pulled him into a hug.

“Your not alone you have friends.”

“Yeah, well where are they?” At that moment, Remus, Thomas, Joan, and Roman came in.

“Hey, we brought Haagen dazs.”

“It’s fancy ice cream.” Thomas Said as he had the bag

“I know what Hagen dazs is hand it over.” Patton grabbed the bag out of Thomas’s hands and Remus sat on the bed next to Pat.

“Are you Okay?”

“I’m amazing, the whole world is talking, making it sound like I’m the one responsible for it but no one is talking the hate there’s just so much hate. There’s so much hate.........I’m gonna need more of this shit.” Patton got the ice cream open and started eating his cookies and cream. Remus then started talking.

“Listen I know you said you don’t want our help anymore but we can’t let them get away with this. That pta women who the hell does she think she is?! I want her to get run over by a bus!!!”

“She’s a monster that’s what!”

Remus inhaled to calm down “Joan what can we do?”

“I don’t know. She’s spun this whole thing herself to make her look like the victim she’s good if she didn’t shop at dress barn she could work in P.R.”

Roman was just standing in the corner but felt like he should say something and so he did.

“I know everybody’s angry but we have to face the facts. We made matters worse. So the best thing we can do is disinfect our things and go home.”

Everyone said at the same time “NO WE ARE NOT LEAVING!!”

“We are always not leaving!! Please I want to leave this horrible place”

“No we are staying here we gotta turn this thing around. We gotta take back the press!”

“But how darling?” Said Janus as he was still on the bed.

“Patton you gotta be the face of this story you gotta go on tv and show the real asshole is!”

“And that will give him a prom?”

“This isn’t about prom anymore. This is about right and wrong you know what you have to do this right.

“I don’t know what I know.” Patton continue eating the ice cream.

“We need a national audience....what about Jimmy Fallon?”

“I can’t just pop Jimmy Fallon out of my ass!!” Exclaimed Joan. “If we want an audience we gotta go big and to to go big we have to use that one call to Eddie Sharp!” Everyone was in agreement except for Roman “No I am not calling that basterd!!”

“Just ask for a favor!”

“If I ask him for something he will want something in return and what he will want is the hamptons house. He trying to get it for years. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DISNEY AND BROADWAY CRUISES I HAD TO PAY FOR THAT HOUSE!!!!! I would rather pluck my eyes out and put them in a vacuum and call that even!”

“If that will work just pluck your eyes out then!! *sigh* Joan just get the boy on tv. I don’t care if it’s a cut on family guy just do your magic.”

“Aye aye.” Joan left to try and get Patton on TV

“This is great.” Patton then decide to say something

“No not great. I’m sorry but their is no way I’m getting in front of a camera and telling my story. I cannot do that just no. Just accept it we lost deal with it.” Patton went to a corner and stood with his arms cross. Then Thomas came up with and idea.

“Ya know there might be a better way to rid of this community by extension of nation of this cancer of intolerance!” Everyone was dead silent

Eventually Remus asked “Why are you still here? I thought you had a tour?”

“Indianapolis was canceled and so was everywhere else. But I’m thinking feature forth and seek out the younger people and rap in a non musical sense. And soon understanding could lead to, dare I say it......love.” Thomas left and now there was Roman, Remus, Janus and Patton.

Patton turned around to see their faces and Remus broke the silence again “Listen kitty cat, I know this is hard but if you don’t do something, they will.”

At that moment Janus got an idea. “Don’t worry he’s got stage fright. I’ll talk to the kid.” Roman had already walked out leaving Remus and Janus outside the door.

“Are you sure about this Jannie?” Janus put his hand on Remus’s check and kissed him.

“Of course darling.” Said Janus very seductively. Remus couldn’t help himself he had been touch starved so and picked up Janus and pinned him against the wall.

“Damn why are you so hot?!” Remus passionately kiss the smaller man as Janus put his hands on Remus’s face pulling him in closer. Sadly, it came to an end because their was a another short man waiting for Remus.

“REMUS CMON!!” Remus put his husband down and gave him one last kiss “See you tonight Jan.” Remus left leaving him and Patton alone.

“You two really love each other huh?”

“Yeah I love him so much. He may be an idiot sometimes but, he’s my idiot.” Patton laughed a little then got back on track.

“Now before you lecture me or....kick me to death with those crazy Anatlope legs.....or whatever it is your gonna do, I know I should do something. I just can’t.” Janus walked back to the bed.

“Look kid, not everyone gets a chance to step out of the chorus. You gotta do this for all the those people who used to be gypsies.”

“I’m too scared.” He hid in the cat hoodie and Janus got an idea.

“Let me tell you a story. 1975 and the original company of “Chicago” was in previews. Suddenly the worst outbreak in history hit the cast and their down to the third cover for Roxie Heart and he’s scared just like you.” Patton took the hood off of his head to listen to the rest of the story.

“So, fosse was a real ball buster puttin him through a pain an he’s petrified. Even worse he’s performing the routine like a robot. So the boss pulls him aside and says “hey kid, snap out of it. You got the steps, you got the notes, but where’s the Zazz baby.”And although he had never heard that word before he knew exactly what it meant and he crushed that performance. The audience screaming bloody murdur.”

“And that boy was you?” Janus gave him a blank stare

“Yes it was me how fucking old fo you think I am!? It was 1975. But the point is every fosse boy knows that story. All about finding your inner strength.”

When a challenge lies ahead and you are filled with dread and worry

Give it some zazz

If your courage dissapers what’ll get you fears to scurry

Give it some zazz

Zazz is style plus confidence, it may seem corny or kitsch

But when scared or on the fence you’ll find that zazz will soon make fear become your bitch

And if folks say you can’t win what’ll will stop them in a hurry

Janus layed on the bed and kicked his leg up high that gave Patton a gay panic

Give it some zazz

There’s no contest for a boy who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff

And strut your stuff

Like no chick in this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Give it some zazz

“I just don’t think I can do it. The thought of getting in front of all those people look at my hands their shaking”

“If your hands are shaking....”

Just turn’m into jazz hands

“Doesn’t that feel better?”

“No”

“Try this. Close your eyes.” Patton stood up and closed his eyes

“Zazz doesn’t just come out, it comes from within. Now think about Mrs Greene.” Patton put his hand across his face.

“Think about that fake prom!” He took his other hand and did jazz hands.

“Now think of finally doing something about it!” Patton started doing moves and it filled him and Janus with joy.

“Oh I’m seeing it! I’m seeing your Zazz! Now follow me!”

Do like the brave and bossy do

And if they tear you apart

Ask what would Bob Fosse do?

He’d make the people have a step ball change of heart

Ball change!!!

And if folks say you can’t win what’ll stop them in a hurry

Give it some zazz!!

There’s no contest for a boys who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff BAM!

And strut my stuff BAM!

Like no chick in this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Give it some zazz

Now that you’ve found your zazz it’s time to show it to the world. You think you know how?

YEAH!!

People to tag @artissi-jam @patt-off @frogsandcookies @icantthinkofacreativeurl @actingonimpulse @purplestarrystars

I’m back!!!!

[magicalhideoutengineer]

We meet a younger Pickett in this movie: can you take us through how you went about de-ageing him so to speak?

[Laughs] That was an interesting one because we initially had other Bowtruckle in the tree that was based on the same design as the first movie when we saw a smaller Bowtruckle tree so the idea was that Newt, the one he had in his case, was based upon one he had as a child. Initially, we had other Bowtruckle designs but there wasn't that connection with Newt or the audience so we thought, 'What if we have a young Pickett?' and discover that he had him at school, basically. So, we just looked at the design and decided because he almost already kind of a sapling look and was quite green, so we greened him up even more and proportioned him so it appeared he had a bigger head and slightly longer limbs so he is a bit more baby-like and maybe again in his performance, slightly less confident. It was nice to be able to do that. 

Grindelwald's escape is a lot of fun so can you tell us about the work that went into creating that sequence?

Well, that was a journey and one of the things in an early version of the script that stuck throughout. First, in terms of storyboarding and pre-vis. So, David and the storyboard artists came up with various ideas because it's those sorts of things, script-wise, that [J.K. Rowling] is generous enough to let David develop with us rather than it being too detailed. David wanted it to feel very real and visceral and we wanted, after the first film, to come up with something that had a little more sense of reality to it in terms of look and feel. From there, we went into pre-vis where we're constructing the story with animation and we're creating the whole sequence as an animation shot for shot figuring what lenses we're using and working out all the different story beats. 

For example, I think in the boards we had Grindelwald filling his carriage up with water from a storm in the air but as we began to construct it as a pre-vis sequence, we thought 'Well, wouldn't it be more interesting if we pull the carriage down to the river for a bit' and we filled it from there. So, we had the three beats of the initial escape from MACUSA through the city and then down on to the river and up into the storm. Then, once we got that whole sequence pre-vized out and a blueprint of what we're going to film that David is happy with, you're also working concurrently with the stunt coordinators so we came up with the idea of using riders on brooms and developing a rig that was called the tuning fork rig that people could sit on and have them throw their weight around rather than them being on a fixed point and made them feel like they were actually flying. 

Niffler was a breakout creature from the first movie, so what was it like bringing him – and an entire family of Nifflers – back for the sequel?

Oh, it was great. The Niffler is still my favourite really as he's such a great character to be able to play with. In terms of the adults, it was trying to think of what else we could do that would make us laugh and certainly when we got him out in the square for him to help Newt, we wanted to show what he would actually use him for and why he has him in the case like his tracking skills when Newt produces a gold spell that attracts the Niffler to certain areas. But as soon as the animators came up with the great thing of him rubbing his belly across the ground and rubbing his back everywhere, immediately, you're like that's just funny and charming. 

As for the babies, they were initially bald but when Tim progressed that work with Method, who did the finished shots, they began to think of them as little duckling versions of Niffler and they came up with some great concepts and some great names for the little red furred one and the black and white furred one. That whole sequence in the kitchen came from that idea of, 'Oh God, they've got out again' and what would they be doing. We went into the set with Eddie quite early on in pre-production and looked at what props were there, what they could be up to, and what they could be stealing. It was that real moment where you get that connection with Eddie, Newt, and his animals and I just love the moment when he's shoving the little weight into his belly and it's brilliant because they're in the film for minutes but those really sit with the audience and make Newt relatable. 

[sinceileftyoublog]

Doug Clifford Interview: Shuffle & Flow

Photo by Brent Clifford

BY JORDAN MAINZER

For All the Money in the World is a time capsule. The album, written by Creedence Clearwater Revival drummer Doug Clifford and Greg Kihn Band bassist Steve Wright, was recorded in 1986 but won’t see the light of day until the end of the month. Since then, it’s been waiting in Cosmo’s Vault--the self-proclaimed storage area for Clifford’s unreleased music--until the right time. “There’s some good music on this album,” Clifford told me over the phone earlier this month. “Right now, more than ever, we need some good music that’s uplifting and makes you feel good.” Plus, for Clifford himself, the tunes have barely scratched the surface: “To me, it’s still new.” 

After Creedence Clearwater Revival broke up in 1972, Clifford released a solo album and later joined the Don Harrison Band, which also featured former CCR bassist Stu Cook. In 1995, he and Cook formed Creedence Clearwater Revisited to play CCR songs live without singer John Fogerty, who retained artistic control over CCR. Revisited’s last show was in February 2020 in Mexico, and based on what Clifford told me, that’s likely their last, at least in this version, as Clifford is suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. All in all, though, he’s ready to move on from those songs, instead choosing to look into different parts of the past. Last year, he unearthed his lost second solo album Magic Window. And now, with For All the Money in the World, released under the name Clifford/Wright, he’s beginning to revisit a series of recorded writing collaborations whose release never came to fruition.

Though Clifford/Wright was formed around the rhythm section, the rest of the band that plays on the album is nothing to sniff at: guitarists Greg Douglass (Steve Miller Band), Jimmy Lyon (Eddie Money) and Joe Satriani and keyboard players Tim Gorman (The Who) and Pat Mosca (Greg Kihn Band). The lead vocalist picked for the project was Keith England, whose emotive howl ties it all together on the title shuffle and stadium anthem “I Need Your Love”. While the first two songs sound like something you might expect to be recorded in 1986, other tracks operate under different styles and recording aesthetics. The rockabilly echo of “She Told Me So” lies in stark contrast to the ripping guitar jaunts of “Lost Pride Fever” and “Weekends” and the funk snap of “You Keep Runnin’ Away” and “Just In The Nick Of Time”. Indeed, some songs on here sound like they could be Steve Miller or Eddie Money jams, but for the most part, they sound like lost relics of rock radio, comfort food for troubling times.

Clifford hopes For All the Money in the World is more than nostalgia, though. For one, he’s “calling the shots,” releasing the album on his own label, Cliffsong Records, with a distribution deal through Bob Frank Entertainment. “It’s like a publisher’s outlet for the songwriters involved,” he said. “It’s really kind of exciting.” His hopes are that the songs do land on today’s rock radio or do well streaming so they can release it on vinyl. “I still get a kick out of it,” Clifford said about hearing his songs on the radio. Not bad for somebody who started playing in bands at age 13. And while it’s very much not a CCR album, he’s excited for CCR fans to hear it, okay with the long-disbanded legendary outfit as the connecting bridge for listeners. They might just come away with a new favorite song.

Pre-save/pre-order For All the Money in the World, out August 27th, here, and read my conversation below with Clifford, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: I was struck by the variety of styles on this album. You think to yourself, “What would music written around the 80′s sound like?” There’s some of that, but there are other sounds, too. Do you remember consciously trying to write in a number of styles?

Doug Clifford: Yes, because we were trying to get a record deal. We were the only writers in the group, and we wanted them to know we could write more than just “Bad Moon Rising”. There’s really not much in there that sounds like Creedence. With Steve Wright on bass, that changes a lot of things. It puts a different spin on it from the standpoint of the house the songs are built on, the rhythm section. It’s exciting. I listen to it as if it’s another band. [laughs] Normally, I don’t do that. Steve passed away in [2017], so we won’t do any more writing or playing, but this album is a chance to hear a great bass player and songwriter. I’ve got three terrific guitar players in there, too, Joe Satriani, Greg Douglass from Steve Miller Band, and Jimmy Lyon from Greg Kihn and Eddie Money. A guitar extravaganza. A lot of good stuff coming from this record.

SILY: Not only does the record sound different from CCR, but I heard a lot of the other projects the players were involved in, like Eddie Money and Steve Miller.

DC: Yeah, but when we were doing the writing, those guys weren’t in the band. Steve Miller is one of my best friends. He loves “She Told Me So” on this record. He sent me an email all excited that said, “I was dancin’ around my studio! You still got it!” [laughs] I love that guy.

SILY: I like songs like that, that have a little more of a shuffle.

DC: That would be [the title track], too. I love shuffles.

SILY: You’ve said people need songs like this at a time like now. When you wrote and recorded them, did you know you’d put them away for a while?

DC: Not really. If you’re a songwriter, you want to have versions of your songs that sound radio-ready instead of just [recorded on] an acoustic guitar. I produced everything that we wrote, so we had good versions of our work and presented it that way. The idea was not to put these things out as albums, but for record companies. Then you’d go out and play, and they’d send their A&R guy. Steve didn’t want to play in any of the clubs we’d have played in, and you need a band that plays, so that started the tailspin of this project. [After that,] I did a solo singer-songwriter album [Magic Window], and I did projects for areas that had overgrown forests and droughts. I had kids that were going to school. So I sort of slowed down on the music and slapped [these songs] in Cosmo’s Vault. That’s where they stayed till a year or so ago. I [finally released Magic Window], but nothing happened because...COVID hit, and it really changed everything. There’s been enough time that we’re all living through the virus that it’s time to hear [For All the Money] on the radio to make me feel good. It’s a labor of love that all songwriters have. Allowing people to hear the excellent musicianship of Steve Wright playing bass. There’s a little difference in my playing as well. It’s fun, really enjoyable.

SILY: When you were originally writing the lyrics and instrumentation, were you going for a feel-good, uplifting type thing?

DC: When you’re looking for someone to invest in you and put you on their label, you want them to like your music, too. I’ve never been a guy to write songs that make you feel bad. [laughs].

SILY: What were you looking for in a vocalist, and why did you end up going with Keith?

DC: We were so fortunate to have Keith in many ways. He was the youngest guy we were working with. I would be the guy to teach him the songs, as the writer of the words. He had to sing those words and get the idea of the song across, which is a big job for any singer. He took special care to get the essence of the song. It makes a big difference to learn the words and melody. I took extra time to write the melody, because I’m putting the words out there, and a lot of time, the melody would depend on what the words were. You have to give the singer places to breathe. I gave Keith liberty to let me know if something wasn’t working for him vocally, to sing it the way he was comfortable. He always came through. The idea of a song is like a chapter in a book. It has to have meaning and a certain ambiance and feel to it. That’s at least my approach to writing and performing, really. He nailed every song in a very professional approach. That’s not an easy thing to do, especially over 11 songs. 

There are other songs in the vault from the sessions that he did. He was the only singer we had. I’d like to see success, not just for myself and Steve, but for Keith. He was the only guy on the session that wasn’t in a band that had a Gold or Platinum album, and he’s very deserving of it. I’d love to see this thing be successful on that level because I’d love to walk up to his front door and knock on it and hand him a Platinum album. He’s still trying to do it. He has been for 30-some odd years. He can still hit most if not all of those notes. He doesn’t complain about it, he just stays at it, trying to get to that spot. I’d like to see that happen for him.

SILY: This album was recorded in a number of different studios, and some tracks do sound a bit lower-fi or raw. Did the difference in sounds among the tracks correspond to the different studios you recorded in?

DC: Not really for that reason. What’s really important is trying to get an attitude out of a certain song. It is rock and roll after all. The sound of the studio wasn’t something that dictated the direction.

SILY: At what point did you decide to name the album after the title track?

DC: That song, the first time I heard it, it was one of those that Steve said, “Listen to this!” He had the chorus and the lyrics. [sings] “For all the money in the world, girl / For all the kisses in the sea, baby...” I went, “That’s a hit.” Whenever I play that song for people, they all say, “That’s a natural hit.” Being a shuffle adds a lot to do with it. Shuffles have a magic to them. You just can’t help but tap your foot. Your body moves with it. The approach to have it be a shuffle is right up my alley. Creedence didn’t ever do one, and I always wanted to have a shuffle to record. There it was! It was a natural as the first song on the record. The second one that’s out now is a different type of song, to show the album’s versatility, but I had an inkling that it might be a good idea to name it after the first song on the album.

SILY: At what point did you come up with the order of the tracks?

DC: Listening. [laughs] That’s very important. Again, they’re like chapters in a book or story. I did a lot of shuffling around--there’s that shuffle again--seeing which order played best. It took a while, but that’s something worth spending time on. You want to get it right.

SILY: You’ve said any of these songs could be a single. Do you have a favorite?

DC: [The title track] is probably my favorite for that reason. It’s simplistic in its style, and usually, those are the best ones, the easiest ones to understand, though everybody has their own understanding of music. It is art; you can look at a painting, and 10 different people can have different opinions on it. It’s the same with music. Each song has a different meaning to a different person. That’s great; that way you can touch millions of people instead of 10.

SILY: What’s the story behind the album art?

DC: The story behind the album art is my son [Grady Clifford] did it and I needed a cover. That’s it! I didn’t tell him anything. When I saw it for the first time, I just went, “Wow!” He’s very talented. He did the Revisited cover. Whenever I need art, I don’t tell him what to do. He just does it. My wife [Laurie Clifford] is an artist, too. She did the artwork for [CCR]’s first album. Very recently, she got it in the de Young Museum. They had a show of album covers from the 60′s. The Clifford family has a drummer and artists. One of the things about going from vinyl to CDs is the art is a pretty good size. I miss a lot of aspects of the packaging. I have a couple of good album cover folks within the confines of the house here.

SILY: What’s next from the vault?

DC: A project I did with the same songwriting concept. Two of us did all the writing. The other guy was Bobby Whitlock. I’ve got a Bobby Whitlock album with a group we had for a short while. Bobby’s wife didn’t like living in the East Bay. She wanted to live in the Northeast. Happy wife, happy life, so we had to split when we were close to getting a deal. Another addition to Cosmo’s Vault!

[rirah1writes]

Chapter Five: Carnage

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this out, school and work have been wild. This chapter I’m getting more into the plot and I’m even more excited with where the next chapter is going. I really hope ya’ll like it (’:

Summary: To make a long story really short, y/n climbs a bunch of stairs then gets laid. 

Warnings: Ooooh lets see, there’s violence, mentions of death, fire, angst, fluff, explicit smut, oral (Fem receiving) dirty talk (Kind of sounds bad now that I'm writing it all out but whatever!)

________________________________________________________________

Everyone sat around Pepper’s splintered kitchen table that Tony had picked back up off of the floor. Peter watched keenly as Steve helped Nat pick glass out of her hands, Tony tapped nervously at the table, grinding his jaw, and Pepper huffed over her destroyed foyer. “So...That parasite doesn’t harm you?” Peter turned his attention to Eddie, who was surprisingly looking much more well than when he first arrived. 

“He does NOT like being called a parasite...he cannot stress that enough.” Tony’s eyebrow raised as he sipped from his bourbon. “It communicates with you?” He inquired, shifting nervously in his seat. “Yeah he does, he talks constantly, can’t ever get him to shut-up...Well it’s true? You always have shit to say...” Eddie continued on a conversation with himself as everyone watched in dismay. Tony cleared his throat, leaning forward. “I hate to interrupt your inner dialect, but we’re all still pretty confused here, mind filling us in there bub?” Eddie’s attention snapped back to the rest of the table. “Uhh yeah sorry, so anyways, I’m sure you already know about asshole Carleton Drake, the dipshit responsible for all of this madness. He brought these lifeforms back in the hope that humans could achieve homeostasis, and survive on distant planets, should Earth become inhabitable. What he failed to realize is that these symbiotes are conscious beings, smarter than us. At first their intention was to invade earth and use us as a means to do so, but after my...” Eddie took a long pause, glaring around the room trying to find the right words. “Uhh fateful encounter with venom...plans were changed. At least...venoms were.” Steve turned his attention away from Nat’s hand at this point, turning towards Eddie. “So you mean to tell us there are still more of these running around freely? Ones who maybe don’t share the same viewpoints as...your little friend there?”

Eddie sighed and leaned back in his chair, chewing at his bottom lip and glaring over to Peter, who nervously glanced around. “Wh-why are you staring at me like that..?” Eddies face softened as he leaned forward. “You’re pretty strong huh? Venom said when he merged with you he felt immensely powerful. Regenerate faster than most too..” Peter swallowed nervously. “So that’s what..possessed me.” Eddie nodded. “But the plane engines starting up rushed him out, shortly after venom merged with me, I was snooping around the compound for a report.” Peter nodded, and Steve cleared his throat visibly becoming aggravated. “So yes or no? There’s more symbiotes?” Eddie looked equally as annoyed. “Yes. And we can stop calling them Symbiotes, their proper name is Klyntar. But, one in particular. And you’re not going to like who he merged with, hence the reason I’m here.”

________________________________________________________________

You chewed your bottom lip nervously as you climbed another flight of stairs. Tony stark was a fucking Ga-Zillionaire, you’d think he’d have a working elevator. You huffed, realizing you were almost to the penthouse. Peter had given you the codes to get in, in case of an emergency, Tony and him had said for you to come here. You felt a pang of guilt as you realized you were abusing his power, but you knew Tony and Pepper never minded, and Peter would be relieved to see you. Passing another window you caught sight of your reflection, coming to realize how crazy you looked. Hair a curly mess, never bothering to dry it all the way, peters oversized tee, and some soffee shorts. And boy was it cold. About an hour after Peter had left there were strange noises that made your skin prick with fear, and you couldn’t stand the way things were left. You had called May who directed you to Stark Tower, which lead to you careening up eight, very long, flights of stairs.

Your mind wandered to what Peter would say about your outfit. His oversized grey tee gave the appearance you didn’t have on pants at all, and your wet hair would earn you a scowling for sure. But at least you’d get to tell him you love him. A shiver ran through you as you made it up the last flight of stairs, approaching the door, you could feel warmth on the other side. You punched in the code, and slipped past the door into a hallway. You could hear frantic voices in the other room and you slowly made you way into the foyer. Everyone was seated at the kitchen table, mostly everyone you knew, save a few people. You immediately recognized Peter, although you could only see the back of his head. His curls were fucked, sticking out every direction and you had the urge to sift your fingers through them, taming them back into place. You noticed Steve Rogers next, recognizing him from your school videos in gym class, although you were always much more fixed on watching Peter do his sit-ups. You vaguely recognized the woman Steve was helping pick glass out of her hand, Black Widow? And of course Pepper and Tony were grouped together listening intently. “A man by the name of Cletus Kasady..” The last man at the table stated, and your ears perked up. You had learned about this man several times. A criminal, a threat to national security. Homeland Security and Psychology were your majors, so this was a name you were all but tired of hearing. “I know that man.” You blurted out.

Everyone turned to look at you. Peter’s expression went from happy to confusion as h further observed you, his brow knitting and lips turning to a frown. The man with tattoos and dark hair shifted in his seat, eyes looking hungry as he stared at you. “And you are..?” The mans tone was anything but respectful, and he was undressing you with his eyes. Peter huffed as you made your way over to him. Grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you into his lap, using his arms to cover your legs. “Practically my daughter in law, so we’d appreciate if you didn’t eye-bang her.” Tony spoke up. Eddie clicked his tongue and threw his hands up defensively. “My bad, hey, the more you know.” Peter looked up at you, deactivating his suit and using his hands to warm your arms and legs. “Honey, your skin is like ice, what were you thinking?” You shook your head at him, eyes welling with tears. Peter noticed and hurried to stand up, leading you in front of him. “Come to my room, well get you something warmer to wear. His head threw glances at Eddie over his shoulder as he guided you to his room.

Peter closed the door behind him, instantly rummaging around, mumbling to himself under his breath about your wet hair as he pulled drawers open finding you clothes to wear. Pacing over to you he pulled his Midtown hoodie over your head, and tossed you some sweats to dress into while he searched for some socks. “Baby, what are you doing here so late, I would have came back for you?” he kneeled in front of you, pulling the wooly socks on over your feet. You didn’t know what to say, so you simply reached out, tangling your fingering into his curls, pulling his face into your stomach. “I was scared.” He butterflied soft kisses across your tummy pulling his face up, and meeting your eyes. “Why darlin’?” You shook your head softly. “I heard weird noises outside the apartment...Like scratching. At first I thought it was you crawling to the balcony, but you never came. And I couldn’t sit around, I had to make things right. I just got you back, I don’t want to loose you over something that happened forever ago...” Your tears seeped out slowly and peter reached up to wipe them away. He slotted himself next to you on the bed, pulling you into a hug, shocking you. When he pulled away, you nodded and calmed your breathing. “I think you needed that love. You can’t lose me baby, I’ll always come back to you. As for the apartment, I’ll check it out in the morning, were staying here tonight. You’ll be safe here with me, yeah?” You smiled up at him and nodded. “Now, we really need to get back downstairs..” 

Peter pulled you off the bed, and followed you back down into the living room. Everyone had disbanded from the kitchen table and made their way over to the bar to make drinks. You approached Tony as he pulled you into a hug, seeing you were upset. “Long time no see, kid.” you laughed into his chest. “I’m sorry for breaking into your penthouse..” Tony laughed as he pulled away from you. “Don’t be sorry, you know your welcome. Maybe next time Peter will give you the elevator code.” 

Oh. That makes sense. 

“Still considering my offer when you graduate? I pay a lot better than the CIA will.” Tony half teased, as you laughed. You had nearly passed smooth out when Tony had offered you a position on the team. “Of course I am. Wouldn’t want to work for anyone else.” you chuckled. Pepper gave you a sideways hug, and kissed your temple as she set a mug of coffee down in front of you. It seemed Steve had finally finished wrapping Black Widows hand, as she made her way over to formally meet you. “Hi, I’m Natasha, you must be y/n. Believe me we already know everything about you.” She laughed. Peters cheeks flushed red, a sight that you still loved to see. Steve stepped forward and introduced himself as well. “My names Eddie, uhh sorry about earlier, I had no idea you were ya know, with the spider-guy.” You nodded his direction as you heard Peter mumble something nasty under his breath. His arms came to wrap around your waist. 

“That’s all alright...But yeah I know Cletus Kasady. Studied him several times, even got to interview him. I intern with the FBI, Behavioral Science Unit, and I also major in Psychology, and Homeland security. So I’m all too familiar with him.” Eddie nods slowly, swirling his drink in his hand as he seats himself at the bar. “Mind telling us a little bit?” Tony chirps in, leaning against the bar to listen. “Oh, sure...Kasady, to put it lightly is a sociopath and a homicidal sadist... As a child he murdered his grandmother, dropped her hairdryer in the bathtub, and tortured his mothers dog. His mother tired to murder him after she discovered what he did, but his father, mind you, who was just a psychotic as he was, killed his mother in turn, and was thrown in prison, leaving Cletus an orphan. He was sent to St. Estes School For Boys, where his...odd behavior made him a target of abuse from his peers, and staff. Cletus killed many more people throughout the orphanage and burnt it down. He became known as Americas most notorious serial killer and was eventually arrested and charged. The buzz this last week was all about his escape..” You trailed off and silence fell over the room. Eddie cleared his throat. “And you interviewed this chum? What was he like?” You shuddered and Peter’s grip on your waist tightened, as if he couldn’t hold you close enough to him. “He was...just that. Odd. He said some really sick things to me. I still have the audio recording of the interview at my apartment. My partners...and Peter all begged me not to do the interview, said that he had a pattern of obsessive behavior and they didn’t feel comfortable with me going through with it. Now looking back I wish I would have listened. He’s somewhere out there on the loose now, and to say I’m afraid is an understatement...” 

Eddie shook his head. “You should be afraid...and careful especially now. I didn’t come to bring good news. I came in contact with Cletus as well, just three days ago. Here in New York. I was searching for an extremely violent Klyntar, named Carnage. Venom sensed he was close, we rounded an alleyway and witnessed Kasady cornering a lady in an alley, luckily we arrived in time before he could... Anyways...he ran from us. And we haven’t been able to track him since. We might need help. Carnage is violent in nature, I can only imagine what tendencies of Kasady that he’s attaining.” Peter gave a confused look. “So, what you mean is that when a Klyntar merges with a human, they feed onto that persons attributes?” Eddie nodded slowly. “Oh. Yeah, that's perfect! So we have a gassed up, murderous psychopath running around empowered by a violent alien life form? Hmm wonderful.” Tony threw the rest of his drink back, his eyes wandering around the room. “So how do we stop it...?” Steve inquired. “Well first obviously we have to capture him. And assuming we can get that far, we would need to separate the two, and kill Carnage.” Eddie finished. Your head lulled against your palm, your body was tired and your mind couldn’t erase the thought of Cletus running around New York in a murderous rampage attempting to find you. 

“I can find you too one day...just like you found me”

His raspy voice echoed in your head, you wrapped your hand tightly around Peter’s arm. He met your eyes, seeing that you needed to escape. “Well, we can’t do anymore tonight but rest...it’s late. Tony we’ll stay here...I don’t want her at the apartment after tonight.” Tony nodded. “Of course, you guys are always welcome. That goes for you, too.” Tony nodded at Eddie. “Granted that you don’t try to eat anyone...Lot of the team is spread out worldwide right now so there’s plenty of room.” Eddie nodded and followed Pepper down the hall as she showed him to his room. You pulled Peter by the hand and led him out of the kitchen to his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind you. You let out a shaky breath, peeling off his sweatshirt and sinking into the bed. “Pete, what are we going to do...” You whined softly pulling a pillow to your chest. Peter set on the bed next to you stroking your hair. “H-hey, y/n it’ll be okay. I’m always going to keep you safe..But tomorrow I really need to listen to those tapes.” You shook your head. “You’re going to be mad peter...there’s a lot on them I didn’t tell you about, I mean, this guy blatantly threatened me. But I shook it off because, he’s a psycho? I mean that was expected right?” Peter rubbed his eyes, you could tell he was stressed beyond measure. Sitting up you kissed his shoulder. His eyes met yours, and he took your chin in his hand, resting his forehead against yours. “None of that matters, I’m going to take care of you.” You nodded softly. 

Peter licked over his bottom lip, his eyes gazed from yours down to your lips and back again, his fingers playing with the hem of your shirt. “You look so sexy wearing my clothes...” You softly whimpered as he leaned in to kiss your neck, making you see stars. “You look even better without them.” He tugged at his shirt, lifting it over his head, tufting his soft curls as his bare chest came into view, catching your breath. Goosebumps erupted over your skin as he tugged at your clothes now, peeling them off and leaving you naked. He peppered gentle kisses over your thighs, pausing over your heat and meeting your eyes. “Is this okay?” His eyes begging you for permission. “Yes...Please.” You begged him softly. His head disappeared again and you felt him lick a stripe up your heat, lips settling over your clit. You gasped and whimpered as he massaged you slowly, his fingers entering you and moving against your spot perfectly. Your orgasm took you by surprise and you mewled as peter licked his digits clean. Your thighs clench as he leans back pulling down his boxers and sweats, cock springing free from their constraint. 

Peter is back over you in an instant, kissing you deeply. You can taste yourself on his lips and it makes your head spin. You’re so lost in his kiss, that you jump when Peter pushes his thick length inside of you, pushing you apart, and causing you to moan against his lips. “That feels good babe..?” He asks you rhetorically, because he can already see he’s driving you wild. You whimper underneath him as he slots himself deeper between your thighs, pushing your legs back and hitching one over his shoulder as he ruts inside of you, tip of his cock brushing your g-spot perfectly. You quickly become a whimpering mess, as his movements speed up, threatening to make you unravel for him again. He grabs you by the chin, forcing you to meet his eyes as he fucks you deeply, his hair was nothing compared to the wild, fucked out mess it is now, his eyes are blown with lust and his mouth hangs open slightly as he groans. “Say my name love...” You moan loudly as one of his hands leaves your hip and tangles in your hair. “C'mon baby...say my name, let me know who makes you feel this fucking good...” He fucks you harder. “You do Peter...Just you babe...fuck I'm gonna cum!” Peter buries his head into your neck and fucks you into your second high, holding you tight while you shake in his arms. 

“My turn love.” He kisses you swiftly before he sets back on his heels, pulling you into his lap. He gives you just a second to adjust to his length before he bucks up inside of you, causing you to move against him. You card your hands in his hair and throw your head back, holding him close to your chest. “That’s it princess..just like that...so tight for me, such a good girl.” Peter’s praise encourages you to speed up, bouncing on his lap. He moves his hands to your hips helping guide you up and back down on him. His movements become sloppy and you can tell he’s close. You pull his head back by his hair, and look into his deep brown eyes. “I love you peter..fuck..I want you to cum for me.” Peter goes into a frenzy, rutting inside of you until he’s shaking. You cradle his body as he picks you up and guides you back to the mattress, groaning and whimpering as he paints your walls with hot strips of cum. “Fucking hell, I love you too baby.” He finally replies, rolling off of you and racing to the bathroom for a towel. After cleaning you off, peter climbs back into bed, nestling next to you and pulling you into his chest. “Your heart is beating so fast, you okay doll?” he asks you. You nudge away from his chest, peeking up at him. “I’m okay, that’s just what you do to me.” You laugh. 

Neither of you falls asleep right away. You lay in the dark for a long time, silently kissing and rubbing each other, as if you'd never get another chance. Before long, you hear Peter softly snoring, his grip slightly loosening. Not far behind him, you trail off to sleep, lulled by the sound of his breathing, feeling safe wrapped in his arms again. 

[diggorypuff]

Okay this is obviously not how the episode is going to go, but this would be my Eddie Begins episode and any talented fanfic writer is welcome to take this and run with it cause while I am a writer and a good one at that I’m very rarely able to put my vast number of ideas into writing cause I have the attention span of a goldfish and therefore likely won’t write this but even if I did they’d probably end up very different. But anyway:

So the episode would be both present-day and flashbacks.

Present Day: The team responds to a call and one of the people present recognizes Eddie and goes up to him. This person happens to be a friend from high school who also went with him into the army and they were apart of the same unit but fell out of touch after he left the army. They talk about the last time they saw each other, right after Eddie got the silver star. And seem to skirt around a particular matter. The old friends ask how Christopher and Shannon are and Eddie breaks the news about Shannon. The other expresses sympathy and says they should meet for a drink sometime.

Flashback: Young Eddie is with Shannon, the old friend he just saw, and another old friend. This includes Eddie and the two old friends deciding to join the army together and going through training together.

Present Day: Eddie picking up Christopher. Their exchange leads to another flashback.

Flashback: Eddie and the old friends graduate from basic training and Eddie ships out in two weeks. Shannon finds out she’s pregnant and she and Eddie get married.

Present Day: It’s the next morning and Buck mentions that Eddie seems a bit off at work and asks if it has to do with that old friend he ran into.

Flashback: Eddie in the army and general camaraderie with the two old friends, with a particular focus on the other old friend (not the one he ran into), it is made clear this is Eddie’s best friend. He goes back home for some time for Christopher’s birth, and ships out again soon after. His tour is near its end and the flashback ends with the call about Christopher being diagnosed with CP and Eddie reenlisting.

Present Day: Instead of going out for a drink, Eddie has invited the old friend over for pizza, beer, and board games and has invited Buck too. Christopher and Buck are on one team and Eddie and the old friend on the other. The old friend tells some funny stories about Eddie and it’s a generally good time. Then he mentions something about the other old friend and Eddie shuts down, walking away. Buck gets up and ruffles Christopher’s hair and tells him to take their turn, and follows Eddie into the kitchen. He asks what’s wrong but Eddie denies anything is wrong and refuses to really look at Buck.

Flashback: Back in the war, Eddie and the old friends are preparing to go on a mission. Before they go it includes Eddie telling his best friend that he’s got his back. And they head out.

Present Day: It’s the next day and Buck continues to try and find out what’s wrong with Eddie. Eddie is distant and receives a text from the old friend apologizing for bringing up the best friend.

Flashback: It’s the mission and the convoy is on their way to their destination when the convoy is attacked. The old friend and many others sustain injuries, Eddie and the best friend who is also a medic tend to their injuries. As Eddie is treating the injuries he asks his best friend to hand him something and gets no response. He looks around and sees his best friend collapsed and rushes to him. It seems the best friend was injured but was in shock and didn’t notice, Eddie attempts to save him but he dies.

Present Day: The team goes on a call and it’s a difficult one and Buck and Eddie get separated in the fire. Eddie gets out first and is in a panic because Buck’s not out. When Buck comes out Eddie nearly crumbles.

Flashback: Eddie comes back from the war now with a silver star for saving everyone in the convoy. Apart from his best friend. Things at home are tense with Shannon and Eddie feels intense guilt over his best friend's death. Shannon says she needs to take care of her mother and leaves.

Present Day: Eddie’s at home with Christopher when Buck comes over and pushes Eddie to talk to him. Eddie tells him about what happened in Afghanistan and Buck is understanding and supportive. Eddie tells Buck to stay for dinner.

Flashback: Shannon’s been gone for some time and Eddie decides to move to LA to be a firefighter. Eddie and Christopher pack up and head out.

Present Day: It’s just after dinner and Buck and Eddie are just watching TV with Christopher in between them. And there’s a knock on the door, Eddie answers it and it’s the old friend wanting to apologize in person. Buck looks at them as they go to the kitchen but soon just looks back at the TV and has Christopher snuggled up next to him. Eddie and the old friend talk and the old friend apologizes again and Eddie says it’s fine and that it’s just been a while since he allowed himself to think about what happened, and that whole time stirs up so unpleasant memories between the old friend dying and the stuff with Shannon and him not being there for Christopher. And the old friend says that it seems like he’s done pretty well for himself and Eddie agrees. The old friend then says that Buck seems pretty great. And Eddie just says yeah he is and looks out at the living room where Buck and Christopher are lightly talking and laughing as they watch TV. And the old friend says that he and Buck seem great together and Eddie sort of pauses and he tells the friend that they’re not, he and Buck are not together. And the old friend just sort of says oh...huh. And Eddie asks why he would think that. And the old friend explains that they just seem to lean off each other and since he’s seen Eddie in LA he hasn’t seen him without Buck, and that Buck just seems really great and close with Christopher so he assumed that they were a couple cause they all seemed good together and like they were family. And Eddie says no we’re just friends, but he gazes out to the living room at Buck and Christopher who are cuddled together on the couch.

Flashback: Eddie is hired at the 118, and after his interview he catches his first glimpse of Buck laughing with the other members and rushing out for a call. Later it’s Eddie first day and we get to see him and Buck’s first actual meeting before they’re on the call in the truck. 

And either it ends with a shot of Eddie in the present-day rejoining Buck and Christopher on the couch and settling in next to them with him glancing over at Buck, or it ends after that with another flashback after that with it being after the earthquake when Eddie and Buck went to get Christopher, and we get to see Buck meeting Christopher for the first time, then it goes back to the present day with Eddie looking away from Buck and back at the TV and sort of sighing, with something swirling in his eyes, him obviously deep in thought.

[writeyourownlifestory]

Sometimes . . . Dead Is Better

Chapters: 1/4 Fandom: IT Rating: E Warnings: Character Death, Zombie(?), Literally Pet Sematary. Gay bashing. Homophobia. Murder. Animal death. Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, lots of death.

Tag list: @richietoaster, @beproudtozier, @that-weird-girls-blog, @s-onora, @s-s-georgie, @bellarosewrites, @iamcupcakefrosting, @reddieonwheels, @ghostnebula, @madidraw @madi-main, @gazebobullshit, @thoughtfullyyoungduck​, @airbenderking, @ambitiousskychild, @tozierking​,

You know what they say about Derry, no one who dies here ever really dies.

IT + Pet Semetary = fun times for no one involved

It all started when their dog passed away.

They had decided to spend their summer vacation in Maine, a terrible decision on their parents as the city had far more to offer than their sleepy little town. Eddie had just started a new job and was only given a week to take off during the months of June to August. They chose July because that’s when it would be the least offensively hot in Maine.

Richie had landed a pretty sweet job interviewing celebrities for Podcasts. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do with his life, but he’d take it over being unemployed. Rather than sit around in their apartment for a week like Richie had hoped they would, they packed up their travel-sized belongings and headed back to the town they grew up in.

Despite his mother begging him to stay in his old childhood bedroom, Eddie put his foot down and settled to rent a room in the local townhouse. Sonia Kaspbrak wasn’t happy about it, but so long as Eddie was back, she’d deal.

Richie was content with this choice. For one, his own family no longer lived in Derry, so it wasn’t like he had anywhere to offer. Second, Eddie’s bedroom, which was basically a shrine to the poor guy, was too small for them to both fits. Not that Sonia would even allow Richie to stay there. She had never lived Richie, neither as Eddie’s friend or boyfriend, so Richie was sure if they were going to stay at the Kaspbrak house, he’d be sleeping on that uncomfortable couch.

Luckily, Eddie cared about his well being enough to not force him to do that and they got themselves a room with a mattress big enough for them both.

It started off pretty good. Eddie’s mother was beginning him to come over and spend time with her, wanting him to use up all seven days with just her. He compromised and gave as much time as he could while also meeting up with some old friends. Mike Hanlon still lived in Derry, running the library as the local historian.

Most of the group had moved on out of Derry, choosing to have lives of their own. The only ones they saw often enough were Bill Denbrough and Stanley Uris, who went back and forth from Long Island to California depending on whether or not Bill’s latest novel was to be turned into a script. The last time Richie and Eddie saw Ben Hanscom and Beverly (formerly Marsh) Hanscom was when they announced the birth of their first child.

It was tough growing up and growing apart from the people you always left closest to. Eddie and Richie were lucky as they always had each other. Through all the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations, Eddie had Richie and Richie had Eddie. It wasn’t easy because hello, being gay in Maine was never easy, but they made it work back in high school and they’d make it work here.

The first day had been them getting comfortable and meeting up with Mike for dinner. It was nice seeing a friendly face to talk about all the things that changed. The Aladdin was still standing, still looking as beaten up as ever. The standpipe was still the obnoxious eyesore that made the town look ever so picturesque. Keene’s drug store was still around and Richie made sure to tease Eddie about picking up his inhaler replacement.

They hung out and enjoyed themselves in the townhouse. Eddie was still iffy about certain things and made sure to change the sheets on the bed with the ones they had brought from home. It was for the best and Richie wasn’t going to argue with him, especially since Eddie was more than kind enough to allow Richie to messy them up in their own way when they got home from dinner.

It was the following day that everything turned to shit. Eddie had promised to spend the entire day with his mother, leaving Richie to fend for himself in the penthouse. Along with their luggage, they also brought along with dog Penny. She was a preciously little Pomeranian who was sweeter than candy and the apple of their eye. They had been thinking of getting a pet for a while and after finally buying a place of their own, they went down to the shelter to pick one out.

Pure breed dogs like Penny weren’t usually brought to places like that, rather sold by a breeder, but they were in luck. Her mother had been put up for adoption while pregnant and the puppies were scattered across the shelter. They took the smallest one because it reminded Richie so much of Eddie and welcomed her into their home.

They weren’t too sure where the name came from. Richie joked that they called her Penny because she was dirt cheap compared to so many other dogs that literally cost you an arm and a leg just to have. Eddie liked to think they got it from “Penny Lane” the Beatle song, but neither was right or wrong.

Now, the thing about the townhouse was that the whole thing hadn’t been updated since they were kids. No nice TVs or anything from the modern era. There were fans offered, but no AC unit in place. Richie was suffering from the heat and opened the far window in hopes of casting a bit of fresh air into the place.

He sat on the couch with his computer, trying to come up with some new material for the standup special he had been working on. He was funny and knew he could be funny outside of the podcast world. All he needed was the material to show it off.

Well, Penny was a precocious little pup and always liked to inspect things. She hopped up onto the window sill and began yapping at the birds on the outside. She had done the same thing yesterday, except the difference was there were several inches of glass keeping her at bay. Now there was no barrier between them, so nothing stopped the poor thing from leaping out the window, charging at the birds.

Unlike the birds however, she didn’t have wings to keep her from falling the several stories down onto the pavement below. It was only the sound of her whimpering that caught Richie’s ear. It didn’t take much for the man to realize what happened and by the time he got down to the street belong, Penny was suffering more than any animal should.

Richie was distraught. Despite never having been known to be an animal person, Penny was as close to as a child that Eddie and he were going to have for a while. She was literally their baby. They had taken her at the moment she was able to get off drinking from her mother. They bought her toys and little outfits. Eddie talked about buying a carriage so he could push her around while jogging because her little legs were just too short for the three-mile trip he’d take around the city.

She even had her own corner in their bedroom and a dog house in the living room of their place, but at the end of the day, she always ended up sleeping on their bed.

Eddie even put a little staircase at the foot of the bed so she could hop on up without issue.

And now she was dead on the ground, having fallen from their fucking room because Richie couldn’t just put up with the heat.

He felt awful. Disgusting and terrible. Eddie would hate him for this, that much was obvious. He’d call him every bad name in the book because he just had to open up the window. Even if it was a mistake, an innocent one, that didn’t stop Richie from feeling like garbage.

He called Mike because he had no other idea of what to do. He didn’t know if there were any local vets or anything like that. There was no way they’d be burying her here. The last thing Richie wanted was to leave their precious little Penny behind.

Richie thought about cremating her and bringing her back up to New York. They could scatter her ashes along the water or keep her in an urn in their apartment. Eddie would probably want to leave a little memorial at her favorite park. They didn’t have a backyard or anything like that, so they took her to the dog park two to three times a week.

When Mike came, they sat together, with Penny tucked away inside one of the meatpacking boxes.

He wanted to wait for Eddie. He had to wait for Eddie because if they guy came home and Richie told him that he was gone and Eddie didn’t even get to say goodbye, then that would just make it so much worse.

They sat together in the alleyway behind the townhouse, smoking as Richie thought about his fate and how angry Eddie would be.

“She used to curl up on Eddie’s lap whenever he was trying to work.” He mentioned to Mike with a loving smile. “All she ever wanted to do was cuddle us and we let her because we were mushes. Now she’s gone.”

Richie rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, ignoring the fear of tears coming on. He felt sick to his stomach and looked over to the box just a few feet away from him.

“My dog died when I was a kid,” Mike admitted quietly. “It was before we met. Henry Bowers gave him meat that was laced with insect poison. Guess he thought the old mutt was an eyesore.”

Richie shivered at the thought of Bowers and all the old memories came flooding back to him. He had been a thorn in Richie’s side even before he realized he was gay though the latter didn’t help matters much. He was a racist, homophobic shit who probably went nowhere in life. Or worse, actually made something of himself.

Either way, the less they spoke about Bowers the better.

“My grandfather told me about a place high up on the hills near the old Native American tribute. Apparently, the place still has some magic hidden up there or something. Anyway, he  carried the old boy there and the next day, he was back.”

“Back? Like . . . back from the dead?”

“I can’t explain it, but he was back. Different, but back.”

“Different how?”

“Mean,” Mike confessed, putting out the butt of his cigarette on the nearby wall. “He was pretty vicious. Broke into the barn and killed a couple of sheep. My grandfather ended up putting him down because he was becoming such a problem.”

“Penny couldn’t kill a thing. Barely weights five pounds.” Richie mentioned, looking from Mike to the box. He didn’t believe in magic or anything of the sorts, but he was a desperate man. “Where was this place?”

Turned out to be twenty minutes away by car, out towards where Mike lived and even further than that. The sky was turning dark by the time they got there and passing through the woods didn’t make it any easier.

“I want you to know the only reason I brought you here is that you’re my friend,” Mike told him calmly as they made their way down the path. There was a small area with handmade gravestones and a sign reading “Pet Sematary” hanging above. The incorrect spelling would drive Eddie crazy and Richie found himself smiling just thinking of it.

“So what, I just . . . pick a place?”

“Not here,” Mike said and carried down past the bushels of woods and up the hill town until they came upon a bleak circle with Native American carvings all along the ground.

“Have you been here before?” Richie asked carefully.

“Once. My grandfather and I were looting the area for anything we thought we could sell.” Mike admitted.

“You stole from Native Americans? Don’t they have enough to deal with?” Richie inquired.

With a slight glare, he continued. “He showed me this place and told me a few things about it. He didn’t want me to be curious and find it on my own. Mike paused, turning to hand Richie the shovel as he took the box that contained Penny. “You bury your own.” He told him. “That’s the rule.”

With one last sigh, Richie got to digging. He didn’t think any of this would work, but he was desperate to find out. If it all turned out to be some sick joke on Mike’s end, then at least they could call the trip short. Richie would dig up Penny and they’d go to the next town over to cremate her. They’d handle her ashes properly and Richie would take whatever punishment Eddie had planned for him.

When he was finished, he found himself more tired than expected. Like the place took away whatever energy he had to offer it. He got back to the townhouse and fell into the bed, falling asleep before even realizing it.

When he woke the following morning, it was to the sound of Eddie yelling at him. He jolted up, not knowing what day it was or why he was being hassled. He pushed himself up and out of bed, realizing only now he still had his muddy shoes on.

He stepped out of the bedroom and found Eddie on the floor, kneeling down beside a very dirty Penny. Her normally golden fur was matted with dirt and she was yipping around and around, much like the bubble ball of energy she was before.

“Seriously? What the hell did you do, take her running through the woods?” Eddie demanded, looking up to Richie. “And you! What, did you sleep in dirty clothes?”

“You didn’t come home last night,” Richie mumbled, rubbing his hand against his face.

“Mom had me watch one of those Turner Classic Movie Marathons. I fell asleep on the couch. I texted you but I never got a reply.” Eddie stood them, carrying Penny in his arms. “Come on, pretty girl. You need a bath. And Papa is gonna be the one to do it.”

Penny was shoved in his arms before he could even properly respond. Shuffling off to the bathroom, he listened to Eddie go on and on about his day with his mother while he got the tub set up for Penny.

He watched the dog curiously, trying to piece together what the hell happened. For a split second, Richie thought that the entire events of last night had been a horrible dream. Maybe he had just taken Penny out somewhere and they both got dirty. This town always gave him headaches, a little memory loss was no surprise to him.

“Rich, why is the window open?” Eddie asked as he popped his head into the bathroom. “In the living room. It’s wide open, you didn’t leave it open all night, did you? What if a bird got in? I swear I leave you alone for a fucking day.”

Richie stared with wide eyes at the dog that was digging into the bathroom rug. If last night wasn’t a dream, then that would mean Penny came back from the dead. How the fuck did she get back to the apartment? How did she get into the apartment? Nothing made sense to Richie, but he tried to ignore it all as he lifted her up and put her into the tub.

Normally, Penny was a lover of bath time. At their own apartment, they had plenty of room in their double-sized tub so it wouldn’t be a surprise for her to whine and whimper until Eddie lifted her up and they all bathed together on nights when they just needed some relaxation.

She would sit and allow Eddie to wash her and blow bubbled with her nose. Richie had countless pictures of her on his phone where she had colorful shower caps on to keep her ears or rubber duckies to keep her entertained.

Now, the former majestic and comforting dog was growling and yipping at Richie, going so far as to bite his arm when he tried to wash her. Richie couldn’t remember a single time that Penny had a bit at him, had snapped at all, but he chose not to question it.

She was back and they’d live with the attitude adjustment for now. He made a mental note to message Mike and give him a heads up about the place, but for now, he had a zombie dog to wash.

After the bath, Richie let Penny go and she moved around the apartment, going into the corner sit alone. Richie also took a shower, washing away all the dirt under his hair and somehow in his hair. He changed into clean clothes and found the dirty sheets had already been stripped and changed by Eddie, who was back in the kitchen, typing away on his computer as he drank his coffee.

“I thought we agreed on no work?” He asked casually, going to plop down onto the couch.

“Not work. Social stuff. Updating statues and all that.” Eddie moved forward, going to sit beside him on the couch. He held up his laptop, showing a picture from facebook. It was from Beverly and Ben with their baby on the beach. An adorable scene with Beverly completely slathered in sunscreen because of her pale complexion and Ben wearing the ugliest fucking hat he has ever seen. “Aren’t they adorable?”

Richie had to smile. He wasn’t wrong. They were very, very cute because how could they not be? They had been together since the end of high school. Lots of back and forth before Beverly finally grew a brain and realized the one she wanted and needed was Ben. They were a gorgeous family and Richie was envious of her happiness.

“That could be us someday,” Eddie ventured with a smile.

“Babe, you wear like . . . three times more sunblock than Beverly and if you think I’m wearing a hat that horrendous, you’re mistaken.”

“Not that, dumbass. The baby!” Right. The child.

Eddie had talked about it before. The whole adoption thing. Richie wasn’t opposed to it. Eddie had originally suggested fostering but Richie shut that down hardcore because he knew better. He knew Eddie would never be able to let the kid go so at least if they adopted right off the bat, they wouldn’t have to deal with anybody coming and trying to take the kid away from them.

“Eds, we’ve tried to remember? We just can’t seem to get you pregnant,” Richie teased, the tip of his nose nuzzling Eddie’s cheek.

Eddie sighed, closing the computer and placing it onto the coffee table beside Richie’s. They had talked about a lot of things. Adoption. Marriage. Growing old together. His own parents lived happily together raising two kids before retiring to Flordia. They weren’t perfect, but they didn’t have to be. Richie just hoped to be half the kind of partner his father had been, even if he wanted to be a better father.

“Your mom's not gonna cry and beg you to spend the night again, will she?” Richie asked curiously.

“Probably, but I won’t go. I told her I’d see her later this week but I want to use this time wisely and actually enjoy my vacation. Not just run around and do errands for her.”

“What a good son you are, Eddie Bear,” Richie said, kissing his cheeks wetly. Eddie groaned and pushed him away, causing Richie to laugh out. “Seriously, though. Do you have any plans? Did you sign us up for anything? No one to have dinner with?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, then what do you say to a good old fashioned date, huh? I was thinking: movies, dinner, and a walk along rickety Kissing Bridge?”

It was what they did when they were teenagers. Hang back at the top of the theater, grabbed pizza at the local parlor, and spit loogies off the bridge to the river below. Of course, as they got older and became an item, things became more romantic. They held hands during the movies and separated from the others for dinner. The only spit they shared at the bridge were kisses shared in secret. It wasn’t ideal, but it was good enough for them.

“I think you got yourself a date, Tozier.” Eddie decided, turning his head to kiss Richie.

It almost deepened then and while Richie would have been more than happy to let Eddie have his way with him right on the couch, they both turned away to see Penny pissing on the TV stand.

“Penny! What the hell?” Normally when the pup had to go she would let out a whimper and circle at the door. She was well trained; they had her certificate at doggy school and everything, but none of that seemed to matter anymore. Eddie pushed up off the couch to clean up and Richie watched as the dog walked on, obviously not giving a single fuck.

They changed and left the apartment. Richie worried about what Penny would do when they were gone, what trouble she would get into. She wasn’t a messy dog; she had been a wonderful puppy and didn’t even chew on a single shoe, but now that she was . . . different, he worried about what would come of it.

Richie couldn’t think about that right now. He wanted to focus on something better and that was going out on a date with his boyfriend. They chose whatever the theater was playing when they arrived. Didn’t bother to check online, mostly cause Eddie wasn’t even sure the Aladdin even had a website. They chose The Monkey’s Paw, some old black and white film that was playing; bought their large popcorn and sodas and went up to the top ledge as they did as kids.

Richie kicked his feet up, waiting for Eddie to do the same so they could intertwine their ankles. They shared the popcorn and a few kisses as the film played on. It wasn’t a horrible movie; definitely worth the time to see it through Richie found he much preferred to watch Eddie than to watch whatever was happening on screen.

When it was over, they tossed out their containers and left the theatre. Eddie was talking a mile a minute about the movie they just watched, all the while Richie just smiled and nodded along. They went to the nearby diner for dinner and Richie watched as Eddie searched and searched before finally deciding to go with a plain burger. He asked what kind of grease they used, but gave up trying afterward because it was fucking Derry Maine, they couldn’t expect anything to be healthy around here, even with the growing vegan trend.

They shared fries and onion rings, talking about all the fun they used to have when they were kids, trying to split the bill with their allowances; counting nickels and dimes just to make it. Now they were both making money and paying for the bill was with a quick swipe of the credit card.

It was a calm night, sitting and chatting with each other as Richie continued to flood the table jukebox, playing all the songs they grew up with. He ended on “Together Forever” by Rick Astley because it was loud and dramatic, the exact opposite of Eddie. Richie sang it to him lovingly, not caring if anybody watched. The look he got from Eddie was more than enough. A glance that says: you’re a total idiot but you’re my total idiot.

What more could he ever want?

When they finished, Richie persuaded Eddie to take a walk with him. It was late, but not too late. The moon was high in the sky, just after sundown. The heat settled and the breeze was beginning to pick up around them.

They walked down the lane together, right up to Kissing Bridge. Eddie read the names aloud, trying to think if he knew any of the people. They stopped when they came upon the all too familiar carving. Richie had done it back when they were just kids. Barely fourteen at the time and completely in love with his best friend. The carving was faded by now, but the sentiment meant the same.

R + E

Richie plus Eddie.

“Forever and ever, babe,” Richie mentioned, going to lean against the bridge. He watched Eddie, catching the moonlight in his eyes and in his hair. He was gorgeous and always would be. “You know . . . I had been thinking about this for a while.”

“You: thinking? Oh, that can’t be good.” Eddie laughed softly.

“It’s kind of obvious that you’re it for me, Eduardo. And unless you can find another ugly mother fucking with a gangly body, I think I might be it for you too.”

“Depends on if the circus is coming to town,” Eddie mentioned, a loving smile coming across his face.

“Eds. I’m sure there are thousands of ways I could do this and maybe waiting until we get back to New York is the better choice, but call me a sentimental fuck, but I can’t imagine anywhere else I’d rather ask you this.”

He had both the ring a month ago, knowing eventually they’d have the time together and he’d be able to ask. Richie couldn’t think of a better place than their hometown. Not because of the idealistic ways around it, but rather because what would be a better fuck you to this horrible town than being extremely gay smack dab in the middle of it?

Richie got down onto one knee, holding out the ring box he had fished from his jacket pocket. It was white gold with an overlay of diamonds. Simple and elegant, just like Eddie himself.

“Eddie Spaghetti,”

Eddie laughed, his cheeks turning scarlet in the moonlight. “Christ Rich,”

“Would you do the honor of marrying me?”

“Do you really think I’d say no, asshole? Yes! One hundred times yes,”

Richie’s smile was as bright as the fucking moon. He slipped the ring on, which was the perfect size because he knew exactly what size finger Eddie had. He knew more about Eddie than he knew about himself sometimes.

When all was said and done he stood, towering over the other male, though he bent forward to kiss him, not caring at his glasses were pushed up against his nose. They’d deal with it later.

Lost in their kiss, neither noticed the car stopping in the middle of the bridge or the driver getting out of it. When they broke away, Richie turned to see an all too familiar blue thunderbird idling on the bridge and coming over to them was the same mullet-wearing asshole that made his life a living hell all those years ago.

“Well, ain't this a pretty sight.” Henry Bowers muttered, looking over to his companions.

“Hello to you too, Bowers,” Eddie said, looking the group up and down slowly.

“Tozier and Kaspbrak. Haven’t seen your ugly faces around here in a while.” Henry mentioned. “Thought I got rid of your losers.”

“No, that was college. We went there while you stayed and jerked off into a bucket.” Richie replied back easily.

“Always knew you two were fucking each other. What? Marsh’s puss wasn’t good enough so you two turned into a couple of faggots?”

“There is so much wrong in everything you just said.” Eddie groaned, rubbing at his temple. The ring caught the moonlight and Henry’s attention.

“Well, I guess congratulations are in order,” Henry mentioned, approaching slowly. He placed a hand on Richie’s shoulder, that sadistic smile that always sent a shiver down Richie’s spine shined darkly. “Welcome home,” He said cheerfully before driving his fist into Richie’s stomach.

It wasn’t their first beating. They had taken blows by Bowers and his gang before and back in New York they were used to someone shouting something at them despite it being new age. They went back and forth, each putting up a fight because they weren’t going to let Bowers win this round.

It came to a close when he tried to take Eddie’s ring. The shorter male bought back, going so far as to land a punch right in Henry’s eye. That pissed him off enough to brandish the knife he always kept in the back pocket. He held onto Eddie’s hand tightly, threatening to cut off his finger and wear the ring around his neck as a souvenir.

At this point, it wasn’t worth it and Richie was shouting for Eddie to just give it up. The other assholes were holding him down, refusing to let him up to help Eddie.

Bowers licked the knife slowly, bringing the tip of it to Eddie’s face to teach him. In a swift move, Eddie jerked forward, kneeing Henry in the dick. The pain was enough to send a surge of angry through him and Bower buried the knife in Eddie’s face, cutting deeply into his cheek.

Eddie cried out, both in shock and pain, while Bowers decided to let the knife stay there as he punched the rest of Eddie’s face until his knuckles were bloody.

Richie thought it would end there. He thought they would be left beaten and bloody, but alive in the middle the street.

They couldn’t get that lucky.

Using the last bit of strength he had, Eddie muttered one final thought. “You should cut that fucking mullet. It’s been like twenty years, man.”

With that, Bowers offered one more blow before standing to his feet. He shouted for the others to come over and help him. They left Richie on the other side of the road to watch as they dragged Eddie over, to the wall of the bridge. And in one smooth move, they lifted him up and tossed him over into the river below.

Richie was left screaming, spitting out blood onto the road as Bowers and his gang drove away. Using whatever strength he had left, Richie pushed himself up, scooping his glasses from the ground, and hurried around to where the opening of the bridge led to the river. He tripped twice and fell first into the edge of the water, pushing himself up onto wobbly legs as he went deeper into the water and over to where Eddie was floating.

“Eddie. Eddie! Wake up, babe. Baby, wake up.” Richie muttered, rolling Eddie over so his face was out of the water.

His eyes were open and his neck was slack. Richie could think of countless times he had gazed into those eyes as a child, as a teen, as a man. No matter the situation, Eddie always seemed to have a wonderful glimmer there.

That glimmer was gone now and replacing it was nothing more than a vacant stare that went nowhere.

His face was mutilated and despite lying in the water for over three minutes, there was no washing the blood away. It stained his skin in the worst way, leaving him wet and icky.

He was completely unresponsive and while it was plain to see that he wasn’t dealing with shock or just fell contentious, Richie continued to hold onto him and mutter his name, rocking him slowly until someone above spotted and alerted the authorities.

Richie was treated for his wounds at the hospital while Eddie was taken away by the coroner. It still hadn’t hit Richie yet that this happened. That Eddie was dead. When he spoke to the hospital officials, they said a full autopsy hasn’t been done but their best guess was a broken neck and drowning.

They cleaned him up and stitched up any wounds he had, leaving him looking more like Frankenstein than anything. He called Mike, not knowing what else to do in this situation. And Mike called Stanley and Bill because this wasn’t something Richie should have to deal with alone.

When Richie tried to report the crime, however, he found himself being rebuffed.

“Henry Bowers couldn’t have done this,” The officer on call explained to him. “He’s on the force. He might be a hothead like his old man, but he wouldn’t break the law. He is the law.”

“Do you think I am fucking lying about this?” Richie practically screamed.

“You already said his dad was a hothead. What makes you think Bowers wouldn’t do this?” Mike challenged the officer.

“Because he is an officer. Now, unless you want to give me a real report, I suggest you deal with your own trouble.”

The officer walked away and the only reason why he didn’t straight up maul the officer was because of Mike holding him back.

“I haven’t even seen him!” Richie shouted to Mike, beginning to pace the hospital, having not seen Eddie since they arrived at the hospital. “I don’t even fucking know where he is.”

He was breaking down. He knew he was breaking down and there was no way to stop it. Richie wanted to fall to the ground and cry, not caring who saw him. He had just proposed. They were going to get married. They were going to look into adoption, they would have a family. Everything was going so fucking well for them and now it felt like the world was falling apart around them.

Mike ended up sweet talking one of the nurses into letting Richie see Eddie. He was given a five-minute window, which seemed cruel for a man who watched his lover died.

He laid on the slab completely still, eyes still wide open as he looked out over nothing. They washed away the blood, though the bruises still remained. There was no point in stitching him up, leaving the wound open on his cheese.

There was no denying it anymore. He wasn’t just frozen in the moment or in a vegetative state. Eddie Kaspbrak was dead and there was no going back.

Richie could only apologize so many times but he’d go on and on for as long as it took. He was so fucking sorry. Sorry that he let Penny fall from the window. Sorry that he fought with his mother to the point where she didn’t want him at her house. Sorry that he bothered to propose in public in such a fucked uptown.

Richie was just so fucking sorry.

All their plans were gone. All their hopes were gone. Eddie was gone.

But he didn’t have to be.

In the darkest part of Richie’s mind, he knew there had to be a way it would work. It worked on a dog, so why not a man? Anything was possible, right? And if it didn’t work, then at least then he would know and he could have closure. If it didn’t work then he’d confess to everything and they’d bury Eddie for real. They’d give him a proper burial and his mom would have Richie even more but that was fine.

It was worth a shot.

Stealing a body from a hospital wasn’t easy and he didn’t really know what to do once he slipped through the back door. He carried Eddie, wrapped up in the sheet from the hospital, all the way to the area that Mike had first taken him too. Richie had never been very strong, but he found the strength to take Eddie all the way up there.

He walked down the path and up the hill. He went passed the dead animals and into the circle. He found a place right in the middle and started digging. He dug, and dug, and dug until there was nothing left but a gaping hole.

He pulled Eddie into it, holding him for just a moment longer.

“Come back to me,” He muttered, laying him down in the dirt. “You fucking come back to me, you understand?”

Pulling himself out of the hole, Richie pushed all the dirt back on until Eddie was completely covered. Lightening light up the sky and rain began to fall down, though he carried on until the hole was complete. He walked back down the trail in a trance, stopping only when he found Mike at the bottom.

“I couldn’t find you,” Mike said, his voice low and shaking. He looked over Richie, seeing the dirt on his clothes and on his hands. “I couldn’t find you and I knew. Richie . . . whatever you did-”

“It’s done,” Richie told him simply, pushing passed him to continue ongoing down the lane.

“Whatever you think you did, it won’t work. Whatever returns to you, it won’t be Eddie!” Mike warned. He reached back, grabbing Richie’s arm to stop him from walking. “My grandfather had a friend, Rich. His son died overseas and he was so desperate to have him back-”

“It’s done, Mike!” Richie shouted to him, pushing him off. “The law won’t do anything, what other choice did I have?!”

Nobody would listen to Richie, nobody cared about what he had to say. He was just another gay man. Useless and pathetic. Wanting all the attention. There was no way they would believe him if he tried to bring this to outside police or even to court. An off duty police officer vs a homosexual.

There would have been proof. They found the knife that was plunged into Eddie’s cheek; it had the initials of Bower's father along the body of it. And it wasn’t like Richie could kick the shit out of himself and Eddie and still have the strength to push him over the bridge.

All the proof was there, but they still wouldn’t listen. Richie, in his desperation and depression, saw no real solution to this problem.

“Using a fucking Native American burial ground should have never been a choice!” Mike insisted.

“You showed it to be in the first place.”

“For your dog! Not your boyfriend!”

Richie’s eyes glazed over, his head shaking as his glasses became fogged up from the rain. “Eddie will come back. Just like Penny did.”

“It won’t end well, Richie,” Mike warned, but the other man wasn’t listening.

He just kept walking down the lane, all the way back to the townhouse.

[tcm]

Paris Blues by Raquel Stecher

Post-WWII Paris was a haven for African-American expats. Artists like Josephine Baker, Miles Davis and James Baldwin emigrated from the U.S. to Paris where they found more artistic freedom and an escape from racial tensions back home. It was also the epicenter of the 1950s/1960s jazz scene where artists were emerging and thriving in a city that celebrated jazz and built a culture around it. This setting is the basis of director Martin Ritt’s film PARIS BLUES (‘61) starring Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, Sidney Poitier and Diahann Carroll. Newman plays Ram Bowen, a trombonist, composer and jazz devotee and Poitier is Eddie Cook, a talented saxophonist who left the U.S. years ago to seek refuge in Paris. The musician buddies meet two American tourists, Lillian (Woodward) and Connie (Carroll), and the ensuing romances put into question their future in the City of Light.

The journey from story idea to final movie is a complicated one. According to the New York Daily News, photographer turned producer Sam Shaw wanted to make a film about a black painter living in Paris in the 1950s. He shopped the idea around but studios weren’t interested. Shaw commissioned author Harold Flender (Timothee Chalamet’s grandfather) to write the novel Paris Blues, published in 1957. It focuses on just the black expat sax player whose relationship with a vacationing school teacher stirs up the debate of whether staying behind to make things better is the morally right thing to do. In an interview with the New York Times, Shaw said, “Now there was a story in existence with real characters… then the tough job began of trying to convince a movie company that there was a big audience waiting for an honest jazz film.”

Eventually PARIS BLUES became an independent production with Marlon Brando’s Pennebaker Productions and Shaw’s newly formed Diane Productions on board as well as a distribution deal with United Artists. Several writers were assigned to the project including Lulla Rosenfeld, Jack Sher, Irene Kamp and Walter Bernstein. The original concept became a secondary plot, making room for two white characters to come to the forefront. So why the shift away from Flender’s original story? It could have been various factors including a hesitancy to broach a subject that would either be too controversial or would lack the necessary box office draw or both. 

Newman and Woodward were top talents in Hollywood, and at that point adding them to the roster must have seemed like a smart business move. In the novel, Benny, a Jewish character who has a relatively minor role as Eddie’s bandmate, was transformed into Ram Bowen, a WASP expat and the lead protagonist. Lillian was also a minor character in the novel but given an expanded story line to allow Woodward play Newman’s love interest.

Newman and Woodward biographers Joe Morella and Edward Z. Epstein said, “there were elements of social consciousness inherent in the story which was no doubt the reason all concerned had selected the project.” The original plan was to focus on an interracial romance, an idea that intrigued musician Duke Ellington who came on board to write the score for the film. According to jazz writer Stanley Dance, “it was one of the few times he allowed an outside project to take precedence over the band. When he arrived in Paris and discovered the switchover, he was very disappointed and firm in his belief that they should have stuck to the original version.”

The interracial romance of the first draft is hinted at when the four main characters partner off and Newman’s character gravitates towards Carroll until he is eventually matched up with Woodward. With the main focus on Eddie and Connie taken away, the heart of Flender’s story is relegated to a few scenes, most notably one in which the two characters have a debate about living in the U.S. or staying in Paris.

While Ram and Lillian’s relationship is sexually charged, Eddie and Connie have a tamer love story. In one scene, Connie shyly comments on the Parisian couples’ propensity for PDA. We don’t see much affection between the two until the final train scene. Author Andy Fry notes, “the African-American couple may be retained alongside, but their relationship is more or less desexualized, as was customary in Poitier’s films.” In Carroll’s memoir, she makes the following statement about her role as Connie, “I’m a black woman with a white image. I’m as close as they can get to having the best of both worlds. The audience can accept me… I don’t scare them.”

PARIS BLUES ultimately bombed at the box office and with critics. The film’s star power couldn’t overcome a weak script and poor character development. However, it was the jazz music that saved the film from being a complete loss. Louis Armstrong appears in the film as Wild Man Moore, a world renowned jazz trumpeter. Arguably one of the best scenes in the movie is when Moore and his band drop by the nightclub to perform with Newman and Poitier. It’s electric and really livens up the movie. Armstrong himself was about to go on tour in Africa and put that on hold to be in the picture. Duke Ellington’s score for the film was highly praised by critics and went on to be nominated for an Academy Award and a Grammy.

[lostsummerdayz]

Lost Summer Deep Dive - Christie Monteiro Part 1

An In-Depth Look At A Capoeirista Forgotten By Lore

by Nay Holland

When one thinks of capoeira, it is impossible to mention the impact video games had in bringing the art into the public eye. Sure, there have been movies, books, and capoeira schools for as long as the art existed, but video games were arguably the form of media which made the art popular. The same could be said for its representation in video games.

While you had capoeiristas like Richard Meyer and Bob Wilson in the Fatal Fury series, it wouldn’t be until years later that a rich Brazilian capoeirista known as Eddy Gordo would set the bar. No, he wouldn’t just set the bar, he would be the bar himself.

In arcades during the year of 1997 and home consoles the following year, many a player felt rage from a single man. A man whose flips, spins, handstands, and kicks, would bring awe to those who played him, and frustration to those who fought against it. He was both famous for moves never seen before in a 3D fighter, and infamous for being the definition of “cheap.”

Regardless how you felt about him, there was no denying that Eddy was different from the rest of the cast. In a game where homages to Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Tiger Mask were evident, there was nothing who was comparable to Eddy at the time. His unique, yet slightly exaggerated, homage to capoeira brought new fans into the art. Capoeira became a popular buzz word for fighting enthusiasts almost overnight.

But was Eddy always considered to be the face of capoeira?

After Tekken Tag Tournament, Eddy was noticeably absent from the main roster. In place of him was a young Brazilian woman by the name of Christie Monteiro. A fresh face for a game that represented a new era in Tekken, her moves were very similar to Eddy’s.

In fact, apart from her normal throws, her movelist were identical to Eddy’s in every way. Eddy being a palette swap for her in Tekken 4 and Tekken 5 brought the “Christie is Eddy” angle to its head. At the time, although Eddy was included in these two games, Bandai Namco was trying to push Christie as the new face.

At the very least, they were trying to push a woman as the capoeira representative from the very beginning.

In a 1998 CVG interview, following the release of Tekken 3, the development team discussed how the concept of Eddy came about. When asked how the team went about designing its roster of characters, the team replied with the following.

“A good example is Eddy, since he wasn't planned to be the character you see at first. The development team wanted to include a character who used Capoeira, so the idea was passed on to the artist team. Mr Kimoto requested the artist to make a female character for Capoeira. However the artist said it was too difficult to design a female character who used Capoeria, so there came Eddy.” 

It wouldn’t be until Dark Resurrection that Eddy had his own slot on the roster for the first time since Tekken Tag Tournament.

With the separation of the two characters at last, Christie’s push would be put on the backburner in lieu of Eddy’s importance to the story. Christie’s relevance came to a screeching halt in Tekken 7 as Eddy was one of the final main roster characters revealed without a Brazilian woman in sight.

NO!!!

Anyways, Christie wouldn’t make another official appearance until the mobile Tekken game, but considering the mobile Tekken game is literally a dump of old characters that didn’t make the cut in Tekken 7, that’s hardly a victory.

I started writing this back in early 2018, and since then, we’ve gotten Marduk back from the graveyard!

However, I’ve long since stopped holding out for hope. If she shows up, she shows up. If she doesn’t, well. It still won’t dilute the amount of love I have for this girl. Hopefully by the end of this I can shed some light on what makes Christie amazing to me.

So, what happened? How did the one who was pushed to be the babyface of capoeira after Eddy’s origin ended up becoming the queen of the indies known as mobile Tekken? What is it about Christie that makes me admire her as a character? Well, let’s start with her design.

Appearance

So, imagine the year 2001. You’re in the arcades and you see Tekken 4 for the first time. The attract video plays and you’re in wow at the graphics. Especially considering this is the first Tekken on a new engine in the arcade at least. Then suddenly you see this mami twirling and making sensual poses, flashing the biggest grin.

It was at this point you dumped quarters in the machine. Don’t lie. This totally didn’t happen to me at an arcade while I was in the Poconos. Nope.

I remember the rumors at the time. Everyone thought the designers took inspiration from Tyra Banks and Harada himself de-confirmed this.

Wearing a low-cut green floral blouse that cuts above her midriff, black leather hotpants with frills at the end, black fingerless gloves, and Spartan-style sandals, Christie’s primary outfit was made to turn heads and accentuate her features. As with most outfits and hair designs in this game, Christie’s design was also made to show off the new graphics engine for Tekken. Christie’s long brunette hair, coupled with her loose-fitting clothing, flows with the wind with every kick and acrobatic motion. Her design was made for comfort in mind as well as ease of movement.

Christie’s competitor’s outfit is a brassiere-style top with silk training pants and green fingerless gloves. Wrapped around her waist is a capoeira belt, much like Eddy’s competitor’s outfit. Whether this is an actual representation of her rank, or just a design choice, is up in the air. I’d like to say it’s the latter, though I believe a purple belt is a high ranking in capoeira.

Comparing Christie and Eddy’s competitor’s outfit, they aren’t too different from each other. In fact, side by side they appear like partners rather than a radical difference.

Following her debut, her primary outfit changes from a green to a light purple top and black to white colored hotpants. The top of her competitive gear is more confined and stylish while retaining the same effect as it did before. As the series progressed, her butterfly motif became more prevalent in her clothing.

With such a dynamic taste in style, one would think that her personality is just as bubbly, and you’d be correct to think so.

Personality

Pointing at her opponent with finger guns and firing off in their direction, Christie enters her ginga stance with a declaration…

“Here we go!”

Oozing with confidence no matter who she is fighting against, Christie never backs down from an opportunity to show off her studies in Capoeira arts.

Christie makes it clear to her competitors that if they take her lightly, they will pay for it in a loss.

Perhaps one of my favorite exchanges with another character is when she fights Bruce in Tekken 5. Bruce exclaims that the “competition has gotten easier on the eyes,” in which Christie taunts him in return. When Bruce questions if her capoeira can stand up to [his Muay Thai], she replies with a sultry tone of confidence.

Ultimately, Christie would win the bout and she toys with him, saying that his lack of rhythm will be the reason why he will never defeat her.

It’s exchanges like this, as well as her other intro pose where she blows her opponent a kiss and declares them to “go easy on her,” that she uses her looks to her advantage. It’s almost as a form of intimidation, being caught off guard by swift kicks coming at you at every direction while she emerges the victor, leaving the battle almost unscathed.

There is a depth to this. When things get serious, Christie has a sense of justice within the confines of her own capability. This is commonly brought up whenever Eddy runs off headfirst into danger.

In the same game, when she runs into Eddy, she doesn’t back down from fighting Eddy to save her grandfather’s life. Win or lose, she will fight her hardest for those who she loves, even if it means fighting the one person, she loves the most.

She’s also highly emotional as an individual as evident when she shows her disappointment at the end of her winning the 4th Iron Fist Tournament. This changes to a complete 180 as she sees the one person who she has been looking for all tournament, immediately returning to her bubbly cheerful self. A dark version of this trait shows when she is overburdened with emotion to the point of tears upon discovering that her grandfather passed away.

This combination of a flirtatious happy-go-lucky capoeirista who revels in her fights and a woman who is bound to protect those who she holds dear comes into full force in Tekken 6. Although in the overall canon she takes a backseat, controlling her in Scenario mode reveals hidden layers about her character.

One of the hypothetical scenarios that is brought up is when Christie and Eddy do cross paths in Scenario mode. If the former approaches Eddy, he will exclaim that she shouldn’t be here in high concern. If the latter approaches Christie, she will appear angry that he has, once again, decided to be inconsiderate in being brash for considering working with “Public Enemy #1.”

Both Eddy and Christie wish to protect each other, yet they do so by ironically placing themselves into harms way. While on a larger scale, they are two small fish in the giant ocean that is the Mishima bloodline story. If one zooms in on the microscope, you see two troubled young adults who wish to live in peace. One is bound by vengeance while the other is bound by duty.

Story

While Tekken 4 is the first time we see and hear of Christie, that game is not the first time we hear of her story. In Tekken 3’s prologue, Eddy was incarcerated after being framed for the murder of his father. During his sentence, he learns the art of capoeira from an elderly master. Up until his release, Eddy perfected the art of capoeira and entered the third King of Iron Fist tournament to exact

That elderly man was none other than…

Well…

The old man never had an official name. The Tekken wiki has his name as

DENSETSU NO KAPOEIRA MASUTAA

or the “Legendary Capoeira Master.”

For a while, the urban legend regarding his name was “Ho Chi Myong,” but unlike the Tara Banks inspiration, this wasn’t ever confirmed by Bandai Namco. I don’t think it ever will.

The one thing that was confirmed, however, was that the

DENSETSU NO KAPOEI---I’m sorry.

The elderly capoeira master was Christie’s grandfather. How did Christie herself know capoeira? Through Eddy, as a form of mutual respect for her grandfather teaching him the art. Suddenly Christie and Eddy having identical moves isn’t farfetched.

However, I always wondered why Christie’s grandfather never taught her capoeira himself? The obvious answer would be because he, too, was imprisoned. Still, you’d consider that maybe he would have taught her when she was a child or began to teach her. Who knows?

At the end of the King of Iron Fist Tournament 3, Eddy finds out that it was Kazuya Mishima who orchestrated the events which led to his father’s murder and his own imprisonment. Since then, he has sought out to find Kazuya and settle the score on his own terms.

Enter Tekken 4, where a concerned Christie realizes Eddy has gone missing. In her response, she spends the 4th Iron Fist Tournament looking for Eddy, sensing trouble brewing on the horizon.

Honestly this was Eddy’s fault to begin with. Had Eddy not told Christie that he was going to avenge his father’s death, she wouldn’t have bothered to put herself in harm’s way. However, Christie’s story had to start somewhere yeah?

In the end, Eddy doesn’t find Kazuya, but, if we take Christie’s ending in Tekken 4 as canon, we can deduce some details.

Christie wins the iron fist tournament, incredibly bemused, as she failed at her original goal in locating Eddy. However, seeing a familiar face in the crowd, she runs over to Eddy in a full embrace. Eddy appears in this ending with a cast on his arm, so it is assumed that his progress in finding his father’s murderer ended prematurely. Even so, despite his lack of success, he still shows up to his girl’s victory match in support. What a romantic.

Several months later, tragedy strikes. Christie’s grandfather is inflicted with an illness and the race to find enough money to pay for the operation begins. In the end, no matter who wins the tournament, they use their prize money to pay for the operation which turns out to be a success. Christie, Eddy, and her grandfather are all seen at a park practicing capoeira and everyone lives happily ever after, right!?

Unfortunately, not.

Several years later and the climate is different. Jin Kazama wages war against the world and it turns out that neither Christie nor Eddy was able to win the tournament after all.

Running out of time and resources, Jin makes a deal with Eddy. If Eddy works for him and helps exact Jin’s vengeance against Kazuya, then Jin will help pay for the operation. Considering this as an opportunity to become in direct contact with Kazuya, the murderer of his father, it’s a win win for Eddy.

He didn’t want to be a part of this war, but for the safety of the one person who was a father figure for him and the chance to kill the one who has caused him years of torment, he will take up a gun for Jin.

So, where does this leave Christie? Back to where we once were in Tekken 4, on the lookout for Eddy and her grandfather.

Do you see where I’m getting at now? “As the series progressed, Christie’s role became diluted?”

The sad part is that Christie is not the only character to suffer through this “character dilution.” The4thSnake’s video on Asuka Kazama goes over the same points that I could ever make, so please give that video a watch when you can. In Tekken 6, if it wasn’t Mishima related, it was on the backburner.

Once again, both parties are unsuccessful. Christie never finds a cure for her grandfather’s illness and he succumbs. Eddy is deceived by Jin, refusing to hold his end of the bargain, and is unable to save his master’s life. While visiting his grandfather’s grave, Christie discovers Eddy.

Instead of a warming reunion, Christie, in a fit of rage and sadness, slaps him while demanding where he was. In response, Eddy stands there, motionless, as he throws his Mishima Zaibatsu pin to the ground.

This is where Christie’s story ends. Officially.

What began as a bright young capoeira student ended a grieving shell of a person, thanks to the dishonesty of Mishimas and Eddy for pulling a Knuckles and believing Eggman---Jin Kazama.

If we look at the Tag 2 endings and assume, they take place after 6, Eddy takes a page out of King’s book and opens up a capoeira school for orphaned children. After some time passes, he embarks on a trip to become the world greatest stuntman the Mishima Zaibatsu has ever seen!

No of course not he’s going to confront his father and master’s murderers of course! What else would Eddy POSSIBLY do at this point!?

In Christie’s ending, as a continuation, she catches wind of this and chases Eddy, but, as history tends to repeat itself, she’s too late. Eddy is already on the train.

Some. Things. Never. Change.

At least she was spared a grim fate, unlike our friend here.

Conclusion

So. Where do we go from here? From the beginning, we know that Eddy is an integral part of Christie’s story. However, there are signs in her design that shows she can hold her own, both in a fight and in her sense of justice.

I recommend anyone to play through Scenario mode with all of the available roster and not just Lars, but in Scenario mode, Christie has a sense of justice that almost felt refreshing. It wasn’t just simply “where’s Eddy,” but it was also “I have to stop the messed up things from going on in the world”

Earlier I posted a photo where she confronts Eddy for working with the Mishimas and she has no qualms in defeating him to knock sense into him. I also mentioned the confrontation between Bruce and Christie, which is just about non-canon as far as Tekken 6 is confirmed. They treat their encounter as if it was the first time they’ve ever met. Bummer.

But there are signs of life for this character and when it shows, it’s refreshing to see. Christie is not the only character who suffers from this, but she is the one who is marred by the reputation of “always being in Eddy’s shadow.”

When discussion is brought up on why she shouldn’t be in the game? “Eddy is already in there.”

When the game throws her into a repeat storyline for the third straight game in the series? “Eddy is already there.”

Why is Christie out and about? “Her grandfather, but Eddy is there as well.”

Part of the reason why I considered myself a Christie main is because Christie is an underdog in the Tekken universe as well as within the competitive scene.

The irony here is that Christie was meant to replace Eddy, but the inverse happened.

One day, Christie can exist without having to worry about being in Eddy’s shadow. A fan can dream. Until then, I’ll always consider her my favorite fighting game character so there’s no replacing that at least.

There will be a Part 2 to this as there’s one key game that she’s a part of where she does regain some of that luster I wish she had in the main series. A game that is largely underrated but a game where Christie has had her moment in the sun.

Stay tuned for Part 2 soon! If you weren’t sick of me talking about Christie and made it this far, congrats! Stick around for the follow-up!

[sweetdreamsjeff]

Lost Interview The Impression of Being Eternal /“L’impressione di essere eterno”

Jeff Buckley, a '95 interview in the book "The impression of being eternal": "I am the classic white rock boy"

Comes out today, November 7th, "Jeff Buckley. The impression of being eternal". The volume - published by Chinaski Edizioni and edited by Federico Traversa, Marco Porsia and Francesca D'ancona - collects the many interviews, released by Jeff Buckley during his life, plus different materials on the great artist who died, including a complete discography, contributions writings by Omar Pedrini and Giulio Casale (Estra) and unpublished shots by Jeff made by photographer Hans van den Boogard. Many interviews are unpublished, such as the one created by the Italian Luisa Cotardo that was never published, or like that of Steve Berkowitz, the Columbia Records AR who discovered and signed Jeff Buckley.

Courtesy of the publisher, we publish this interview for MTV, January 10th '95, in the weeks of the publication of "Grace": Jeff tells himself without filters and - among other things - tells about his passion for Led Zeppelin and the story of his cover of "Hallelujah" which later became legendary.

In front of the MTV microphones, Jeff speaks profusely of the relationship with his band mates - Mick Grondhal, Michael Tighe and Matt Johnson - with whom he found the right chemistry to compose. The words for producer Andy Wallace are also thick. It hardens only when it has to express itself about the hated print media and the need to make promotional videos of its own tracks; situation to which it is adapting but which it does not fully share.

You can talk a little about your father, and your mother, who was a pianist, and ...

Yes, in practice I was raised by my mother. Me, my little brother and her. I was raised by the maternal branch of the family and there was always music. My grandmother had an old acoustic guitar in the closet. I found it and decided to take it. That's how I started playing, with excellent results, until I received my first electric guitar when I was 13. Electric guitar ... you know how it ends. When an electric guitar comes into the hands of a kid ... all that potential can send him out of his mind forever. And that's exactly what happened.

Is that when you started composing your first songs, at 13?

A 14.

Did you play with bands as a kid? Always.

In high school? Always. I don't know how, to tell the truth: we always moved, so every time I had to start over. Even if things were going well, I had to leave them behind.  And then you moved to Hollywood? I let my mom go on without me when I was about 17, and I stayed where I was before finishing high school and then I went to Los Angeles. I lived in Hollywood.

And did you play in different bands at the time? That's when you started ... No, I was hanging around a bit. I worked on different projects just to stay afloat. Small home recording sessions for friends, things like that. When I first met Mickey, the first real good band I ever played was formed.

It's really the first, you've been solo for a long time ... I remained solo just waiting for a person like Mickey to come into my life. I found Matt. And I've always known Michael, the guitarist. We all gathered like three weeks before we started recording "Grace".

So even before recording the album you were hoping that sooner or later ... I knew it, when I was doing solo concerts I knew I wanted a band, but I didn't want to hire random musicians, I didn't want a temporary solution, you know? I had passed enough. I wanted a definitive solution, a real project in my life. I knew Mickey was the right one, we were perfect from the first night we played together. It was about two in the morning, we had to play at very low volume, and he managed to be both melodic and strong at the same time. I knew it immediately. And when Matty, the drummer, when I, Mick and Matt met together, the very first night we brought out the music of "Dream Brother". All that Mickey and I played was handed to Matty, and he helped us find the arrangement. I mean, if you find a quality like that in a drummer, you're fine. And apart from that, it's also beautiful.

Um, how did Andy Wallace add to the production? I'm not sure, I just met him one day at the record company offices and we started talking about a Hillbilly record I was passionate about, I was playing Sun Ra. And I was saying that I would have liked to do old-fashioned things. You know no, the whole band in a room, some mics, no overdubs. It didn't go that way at the end, because we weren't strong enough. We were not as strong as a band as we are now. And we had to proceed differently. But he liked the idea a lot. He would have done both as producer and sound engineer as the mix. A very compact, united work group. It was great.

Did you know the projects he had worked on before? Oh sure, yes.

And what contribution do you think it made to the record, let's say in relation to the work someone else could have done? Andy Wallace helped us focus on the project. And whenever I couldn't point to Matty because I wasn't in the mood, he turned to Andy. Each producer has its own identity, its own vision. He embodies the vision of the project himself: he was very careful to understand what I had in mind. In practice, many of the album's ideas are mine, but his contribution was precious to keep me anchored to the project, he made sure that we all found ourselves often thinking or talking about how we wanted to do something. And it's already half the job.

What do you think of the enthusiastic comments you received? Even the critics see you favorably, there ...

It's like a walking fair. Let's see what happens next year. But I'm happy, you know, I'm very pleased. Although, I don't know. The critics' compliments are not something that ... that ... um ... you can't measure your value based on the opinion of the critics. They have a very different use of music, compared to normal people. They hold stacks and piles of CDs on the desk to review them. And to try to identify someone who they think will be fine, things like that. But with us they were very genuine. And obviously there will be people who hate me to death. I know it very well. But it does not matter.

When you play you feel under pressure, the idea of ​​having to meet people's expectations derived from positive criticism?

No. No. When people hear us play live, they realize that we are authentic, on stage. It is immediate. If I don't have a lot of energy, I will pass on my tiredness to the band and we will do a "low-level" concert. If instead we are very active, the concert will be excited. Well, you know, music is like that. Change every time. You can't expect that ... you can't hope to impose a fixed structure. If you respect his will, she will in a certain way respect yours. It is an exchange.

How would you describe your music? I think it's full of emotion ... It is simply music. I'm the classic white rock boy. A great mix in which we put the stuff we love.A lot of things have been a source of inspiration. The critics immediately identified the Zeppelins, but when I was five I did nothing but listen to "Zeppelin II". Apparently, according to Spin, they don't fit into alternative music, but I don't agree. But there are others, too, other things that have happened to us. We like all kinds of groups. All possible musical experiences. Not just guitar rock, you know? Whether it's Birthday Party or Esquivel. We like everything.

What about Leonard Cohen? Fantastic. But the reason I did a cover of "Hallelujah" is the song itself, not the fact that it is Leonard's. However, I can't help feeling great admiration for him, and I think it applies to everyone. It is extraordinary.

Do you know if you've got to listen to your version? I hope he will never hear it.

Why? Because, um, I don't know. To me it is a bit like a song sung by a little boy. I also have a version of the night when we recorded "So Real", I was so exhausted that I forgot that we were recording, in that I have a more adult voice. I think ... I don't know. The results are different each time we play that piece. But I hope to do him justice. Because the great thing about Leonard's songs is that they can take very different paths, and inhabit different places. Actually, it's the beautiful thing about every song. The best songs have strong legs, and they adapt in all circumstances.

I noticed that you didn't enter the lyrics on the CD. Don't like talking about the meaning of the songs? Exactly, because the experience of the song is stronger if it is enjoyed independently, through direct experience. If you can get an interpretation of the text on your own, the impact is much greater. And I would also add that, in my opinion, on paper they are nothing special.

What do you think about making music videos? Music videos ... are a new thing that arouses so many concerns. I don't know ... It's not bad. It's the turn in which it ends ... You know, you make a video, you broadcast it on a channel, it's a bit like a commercial. I never fell in love with a song thanks to a music video. It's more ... a promotional tool. To understand: here is Eddie Vedder, here is toothpaste, here is the cream for pimples, here are the Nirvana and here the Weezer. I mean, sometimes it can be fun, but it's a tunnel with no exit. The concert is much better. Much better the album. However, visual media can be fun.

[thehelleniclunarwitch]

Home [Chapter Two]

Home 01

Just a reminder that this story is pre-written so I tried my hardest to make sure I took out my OC’s name and replaced it with y/n. Also, this story is all over the place there’s a plot in there somewhere, I promise lol. 

xoxo,

Inky

                                              ---------------------

Damian sat on the edge of Y/n’s bed. The two were going through her photo albums. They had made it through their first week together. It was a little weird for them all. Y/n wasn’t quite sure how to handle all four boys. But they were slowly starting to make things work. Damian could see them eventually becoming a real family.

“Do you ever stop missing them?” Damian asked as he looked at a picture full of Y/n’s friends and family.

Y/n looked over at him sadly. She missed them every single day. Her heart still hurt just thinking about them and what they’ve all lost in the great battle. Damian was staring at her and she had to hold back the urge to start crying at the thought of her dad and the others.

“No, I don’t. Every day it gets a little easier, but they are always on my mind,” Y/n answered.

Damian felt bad for Y/n. She had lost a lot in the past few years. Sure the Avengers were able to reverse the snap, but it was Y/n who had been affected the most. She ended up getting Bucky back but ended up losing them both in the end. Steve was gone sacrificing himself for his husband and his daughter. Bucky died protecting Y/n and Peter. Her godfather, Tony was gone, her Aunt Natasha was gone as well. Thor was off doing god knows what with the Guardian’s in space.

After the death of Tony, Steve, Bucky, and Natasha, Bruce had disappeared off the face of the Earth. Clint had moved even further away with his family. Sam stayed with Y/n for a while. Y/n was glad to have her uncle back. He made things a little easier for her, but the notion of knowing that both of her dads sacrificed themselves for the greater good still crushed her to this day.

“Have you heard from Uncle Sam recently?” Damian asked.

“Yeah, he’s been trying to locate Bruce. He keeps offering to come home, but he’s right we have to find Banner,” Y/n answered.

The door to Y/n’s room pushed open and the other three boys came storming in.

“There you two are!” Jon growled.

“What’s wrong?” Y/n asked.

“It’s hot as balls out,” Freddy complained.

Y/n gave him a look.

“Yeah and nothing against you Y/n, but your place doesn’t have air conditioning,” Billy whined.

“I can take you out back and hose you down,” Y/n said with a grin.

The boys all glared at her. She sighed and glanced at the clock. It was a quarter to two. The sun and heat were only going to get worse. She needed to come up with something quick especially since they only had a few weeks left of school and she was going to have to keep them busy this summer. Y/n suddenly had an idea.

“Go grab your swim trunks, towels, and anything else you’re going to want to entertain yourselves,” Y/n said.

“What are you up to?” Jon asked.

Y/n grinned. “You’ll see. Go!”

As the boys all ran off, Y/n headed downstairs to pull out the large cooler and start packing a picnic. Y/n filled the cooler with sandwiches and small baggies of chips. Different veggies, fruits, and stuff to drink. Billy and Jon were downstairs first.

“Can you two take this out and load it into my SUV?” Y/n asked.

“We’re on it,” They grinned.

As Y/n turned her back to yell for the others she heard Billy yell “Shazam!”

Y/n whipped around to see a goofy grinning Jon standing there next to a grown-up version of Billy.

“That is not what I meant,” Y/n sighed.

Billy grinned at her his goofy grin. “It’s getting the job done, right?”

She shook her head and went upstairs.

“Freddy. Damian. Let’s get a move on it,” Y/n said.

The boys said nothing. Furrowing her brow, Y/n headed down the hallway. She could hear the whispering. As Y/n neared the bedroom she could hear the two teens arguing with each other.

“Just put it back!”

“Help me it’s heavy,”

Y/n pushed open the door to the bedroom. She saw the boys on the floor trying to shove something back underneath the bed. The red, white, and blue caught her eye. Her father’s shield was halfway in Freddy’s lap.

“Here let me help,” Y/n said.

The boys froze at the sound of her voice and slowly turned to look at her. Y/n knelt down next to them, lifted the shield off Freddy’s lap and pushed it back underneath of the bed. Freddy and Damian looked at her with wide eyes.

“Y/n, we’re really sorry, we,” They both burst out.

“Hey, chill, it’s fine,” Y/n said with a forced smile, but they both could see the sadness in her eyes.

“Y/n,” Freddy began.

“Are you two packed and ready to go?” Y/n asked.

They both nodded. “Great, then let’s go,”

Downstairs, the four teens shuffled out of the house with their bags. Y/n remembered the sunscreen in the bathroom and hurried back to grab it. As she came out of the bathroom her phone began to ring. Eddie’s face popped up on her screen.

“Hey Eddie,” Y/n answered.

“Hey, my interview is running late so I won’t be home until at least dinner time,” Eddie said.

“That’s alright, I’m taking the boys out on an adventure,” Y/n replied.

“Oh?” Eddie said.

“Yeah, so we’ll be home late too. I plan on grilling out tonight when we get back,” Y/n told him.

“Okay, did you need me to pick anything up?” Eddie asked.

“Um, no, I got everything last night when I went grocery shopping,” Y/n said as she stepped out of the house and locked the back door.

“Oh okay,” Eddie said.

“Alright, well I guess I’ll see you when you get home,” Y/n said.

“Hey Y/n,” Eddie began.

“Sorry, Eddie, but I gotta go the boys are screaming my bloody head off,” Y/n said before hanging up on him.

Y/n hurried over to the SUV. She whipped open the door and looked at the four boys.

“What in the world is going on?” Y/n asked them.

The four teens stared at her.

“Come on now, there had to be a reason for you all yelling for me,” Y/n said.

“We weren’t yelling for you,” Jon said.

“Yeah, we are arguing about you,” Billy explained.

“And why were the four of you arguing about me?” Y/n asked as she finally climbed into the SUV and slammed the door closed.

“You know we’re not little kids,” Jon started.

“Why thank you Captain Obvious,” Y/n scoffed.

“We know that you and Eddie have been fighting about us all week,” Freddy blurted.

Y/n sat there in silence for several long seconds.

“I know and I’m sorry that you guys even have to hear that,” Y/n replied.

“I thought Eddie liked us,” Billy added.

“He does,” Y/n answered.

“So why are you guys fighting?” Jon asked.

Before Y/n could answer, Damian turned around in the front seat to look at them.

  “That’s because he’s selfish and doesn’t want us taking up all of his precious Y/n’s time,” Damian snarled.

“Whoa, Damian, not at all,” Y/n said.

“Yes, it is! We heard you the first night we got here. He was pissed that you didn’t ask for his permission. The two of you have hardly talked all week and when you two do talk it turns into a screaming match about the four of us,” Damian snarled.

Y/n took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I want all of you to listen to what I’m about to tell you, okay?” Y/n said.

The four nodded.

“Relationships aren’t perfect. Mine and Eddie’s is far from perfect. Eddie is used to our normal routine that having you guys here is an interruption. Of course, he cares for all of you, but he’s mad at me and not the four of you,” Y/n explained.

“Why is he so mad at you?” Jon asked interrupting her.

“For a long while after Jason’s death, I was kind of in this submissive state where I pretty much did everything and anything Eddie wanted me to do. Just as I was starting to come out of my shell the battle with Thanos had happened. Once again I fell back into this traumatized state. I was back to listening to everything Eddie said and did all that he wanted.”

“Eddie throughout our relationship hasn’t gotten to see the real me. Yes, we were friends before, but how you see someone as a friend as a romantic partner is different. Eddie is finally getting to truly see what kind of person I am. He’s so used to me being kind of this yes person to him that he’s not sure how to react when I fight back,”

“I will always be thankful for Eddie. He has helped me a lot through quite a few dark times, but I’m not the type of girl to always do what her man says. So, me not asking him about signing the custody paperwork and taking you guys in it was kind of a slap to the face for him,” Y/n explained.

“To me, that doesn’t sound like he’s the right guy for you,” Billy pointed out.

Y/n gave him a soft smile. “It’s not fair to Eddie. I’m damaged. Fucked up. And I don’t want to call it quits with him just because he’s used to taking care of the traumatized version of me. We’re adults. We’re going to have disagreements. We’re going to fight. I love Eddie and he’s worth fighting for,” Y/n told them.

“And what if this is something he can’t get over? What if he prefers the Y/n that does everything he wants?” Freddy asked.

“That is a problem that I will have to face when the time comes,” Y/n told them.

“If Jason was still here he wouldn’t treat you this way,” Damian snarled.

Y/n turned to look at him.

“If Jason was here the four of you wouldn’t be in my care because Bruce wouldn’t have to realize the danger he brings to other people,” Y/n shot back.

“At least you’d be happy,” Jon grumbled as he sat back in his seat.

“Guys,” Y/n sighed. “This is still new to all of us. Give Eddie a chance,”

“How many more chances do we give him?” Billy asked looking at her.

“It’s only been a week since you’ve guys have been here,” Y/n pointed out. “It takes a least a month for things to settle,”

“So then we give him the rest of the month to improve,” Freddy said.

“Then what?” Y/n asked intrigued.

“You won’t like that answer,” Damian said coldly.

Y/n sighed. “Right, well let’s go and spend the day pretending to be a happy family,”

“What, really?” Freddy asked in confusion.

“Yes. I’m a young mother. Blessed with two sets of twin boys. Who drive their mother crazy with all of this antics,” Y/n said as she pulled down the driveway.

“In my new life both of my legs work properly,” Freddy said.

“And I’m a super genius. I get kicked out of every school I attend because I don’t know how to outlet my anger in a proper way,” Jon added.

“I’m obsessed with technology. I have taken after my mother’s godfather and I love building my own robots. Dummy 2.0 is my proudest achievement,” Billy grinned.

Y/n glanced over at Damian. His dark green eyes looked over at her.

“My mother is the strongest person I know. I get to live a normal life because of her. No training. No bad guys. No midnight patrols. I go to school, join the soccer team, President of the AV club. A normal life of a normal teenager,” Damian said calmly.

The car fell silent.

“Ooh, I didn’t even think of a normal life,” Jon whispered.

“I take all of mine back. I want a normal life too. I’d love to play on the football team and go to a school dance,” Billy piped up.

As the boys broke out into talking about having a normal life, Y/n’s heart broke. She listened to the boys talk about what their normal life would look like. She turned onto a side road and headed straight through to her destination.

“Where in the world are you taking us?” Freddy asked.

“We’re almost there. You’ll see,” Y/n grinned.

The boys watched the trees fly past. Y/n took another dirt road but this time she slowed down and then pulled into a small parking spot.

“Come on follow me,” Y/n told them.

The five of them crawled out of the SUV. The boys stuck close to Y/n as she lead them down a trail. All eyes widened and mouths fell open as they reached the end of the trail.

“Welcome to my favorite spot in the whole world,” Y/n told them.

The swimming hole was glorious. The water was clear. There was a huge rope to swing off. Boulders in the middle of the lake to jump and dive off. Y/n carried her basket over to an empty spot and laid out the blanket. Jon and Damian set down the cooler.

“Change over there in the bushes and go enjoy yourself!” Y/n smiled.

The boys broke off to change and went running straight into the water.

“Holy shit, it’s warm! Like a bath,” Billy yelled as he picked up Freddy and tossed his brother into the water.

Y/n only laughed.

She sat for several long hours and watched the boys splash and wrestle in the water. Y/n could remember when her dad first brought her here. Her upbringing wasn’t the best. Steve wanted to make that up to her. When Bucky became Bucky again he did everything to make it up to her too. None of that mattered to Y/n. All she wanted was her family back. Because of Thanos, she lost that, but as she watched the boys laugh and play she couldn’t help, but think that she was getting a second chance at that.

After a while, Damian dropped down next to her. Y/n handed him a towel and he wrapped it around himself.

“I’m sorry for what I said about Eddie,” Damian said.

Y/n looked over at him. “Don’t apologize. I want to know how you guys are feeling. I hate that our fighting is upsetting all of you. I didn’t want that. I just don’t know what else to do with him. It’s like we’re are always at odds with each other,”

“I’m also sorry for bringing up Jason. That’s wasn’t nice or fair of me,” Damian said.

Y/n wrapped an arm around him and squeezed him tight to her.  “I want you to know that I will always always love your brother. I love Eddie and I am very glad to have him, but I hope you know that Eddie will never replace Jason. Jason was my first love. He was the man I saw myself marrying,”

“Why Eddie?” Damian asked.

“Because he came to me at a moment in my life when I really needed somebody,” Y/n explained.

“Maybe you’ve outgrown him,” Damian suggested.

“What’s your deal with Eddie, Damian?” Y/n asked.

“You deserve better,” Damian said.

“Damian,” Y/n sighed.

“I don’t know what it is, okay Y/n? There’s just something about him,” Damian explained.

“Okay, I hear you,” Y/n said.

Slowly, the others left the water and came to join her. As the four dried off Y/n packed up the cooler and then the car. Yawning, the boys helped and then climbed into the SUV. Y/n left them to drop off and she went to stand at the edge of the water.

Memories came flashing back to her. She brought Peter here. And little Morgan. Her, Natasha, and Clint brought the Bartons. So many good memories were here and she refused to let there be any bad ones here. Y/n would make new memories here with her boys. A few tears slid down her cheek.

“Y/n,” A soft voice said.

Y/n looked to see Billy come to stand next to her. She took his hand in hers. They stood there in silence for a few minutes. Billy didn’t think about the fact that if his buddies at school saw him holding hands with Y/n that he’d be teased endlessly. It was different when it came to her. She made him want to show his emotions. He wanted to sympathize with her. Which was weird to Billy because he never felt that way about his own mom or his foster family.

“You okay?” He asked finally breaking the silence.

“Yeah, just thinking about some memories,” Y/n said told him.

“Sad memories?” Billy asked.

“Not all of them,” Y/n replied. “Come on, we need to get home and start dinner,”

The ride back to the farmhouse was quiet. They all slept as Y/n drove with the windows down. The wind blew her hair around and she watched the sun slowly start to set in the distance.

Home. The boys carried everything inside and headed upstairs to take turns showering and changing. Y/n booted up the grill and started to pull out the meat for dinner. She looked over her shoulder as Eddie pulled up on his motorcycle. She gave him a soft smile when she noticed a bouquet of her favorite flowers in his hands.

“For you,” Eddie said.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful,” Y/n said.

“Y/n,” Eddie said.

Y/n looked up at him. He could see the tiredness. The sadness that she carried in her eyes.

“I’m sorry I have been making things so much more difficult,” Eddie apologized.

“I accept your apology, but that doesn’t fix everything. We’ve both said some hurtful things,” Y/n said.

“I know I hurt you. And god I am so sorry for all of that,” Eddie said.

Y/n reached forward and cupped his face in her hand. “I love you, Eddie. But I need time to heal from this. We both need the time,”

Eddie grabbed her hand. He melted into her touch. He loved this woman. And he knew that he hurt her. He added on more sadness and guilt to her shoulders and that wasn’t fair.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Eddie asked.

Y/n glanced over her shoulder as she could hear the boys coming back outside.

“I just need some space to think. I can’t do that here when we are underneath of each other,” Y/n said and then dropped her voice. “Plus, the boys know we are fighting and it makes them uncomfortable,”

Eddie nodded. He turned his face into her hand and kissed her palm.

“Can I at least stay through dinner and leave after they go to bed so they don’t have to watch me leave with my tail tucked between my legs?” Eddie asked.

Y/n could only bring herself to nod. The pair pulled apart when the screen door finally burst open. The four teens came running out of the house. They all stopped when they saw Eddie and Y/n standing there.

“What’s going on?” Freddy asked.

“Are you guys fighting again?” Damian snarled.

“No, apologizing,” Y/n said wiping her face clear of the tears before turning around.

“He brought you flowers?” Billy asked.

“Her favorite kind,” Eddie said.

The four teens eyed him carefully.

“Alright, you four get the picnic table set up and start bringing out the other food. We’re going to fire up the grill and get this party started,” Y/n smiled.

Billy and Freddy dashed off to set up the table. Jon headed into the house to get the other food. Y/n made her way behind Jon so she could put her flowers into a vase. Leaving Damian and Eddie to stand there and have a stare off.

“Damian,” Eddie began.

“Save your bullshit for Y/n. She’s the only one who will listen to it,” Damian snapped.

Eddie sighed. “She broke up with me,”

“Good,” Damian shot back.

“I love her,” Eddie tried reassuring Damian.

“If that was true then you wouldn’t have started a fight over me and my brothers,” Damian explained.

“This whole situation rocked our world,” Eddie started to explain himself.

“And the two of you should be going through it together. Y/n should be able to lean on you for support not fighting you every step of the way,” Damian growled.

“You’re way too smart for your age,” Eddie ran a hand through his hair.

“I’ve lost two of my brothers. I never got a childhood. I’m a trained killer. I have to be smarter than my enemies,” Damian said between clenched teeth.

“Are we enemies now, Damian?” Eddie asked.

“As long as you are here continuously hurting Y/n, you are,” Damian replied.

“You know Y/n is really lucky to have you in her corner,” Eddie pointed out.

“I know. And we’re all lucky to have her,” Damian said.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her, Damian,” Eddie finally said.

“I don’t care. You did. That’s all that matters to me,” Damian said.

“I’m going to make it up to her,” Eddie promised.

“You can try. I can’t wait to see you struggle to do so, but just know you’ve already burned your bridges,” Damian snarled.

Eddie had to admit the kid had balls.

“Her and I are meant to be together, Damian. I know it. She knows it. And even deep down you know it,” Eddie shot back.

Damian only smirked. “Yeah, we’ll stick with that story,”

The screen door swung open. Jon and Y/n came out of the house. Damian leaned in a little closer to Eddie.

“Your days are numbered pal,” Damian said before quickly turning on his heel and heading over to where Y/n and Jon stood at the grill.

Eddie had to keep Venom at bay. He wanted to prove to those rowdy children that he and Eddie loved Y/n. That Eddie never meant to hurt her.

Y/n looked over her shoulder at Eddie. He smiled at her. Y/n returned the smile with a soft smile on her own. Eddie headed inside to drop off his things and to take over the grilling before Y/n burnt the food and the house down.

Eddie could feel eyes boring into his back as he gently nudged Y/n out of the way. She gave a low laugh, shook her head, and then stepped out of the way so Eddie could take over flipping the hamburgers. As the pair stood there talking about their day and cooking dinner, the four teens met up at the picnic table.

“Damian,” Jon began.

“Don’t worry, I have a plan,” Damian said with a devilish grin.

[bi-bi-richie]

The Stars and the Moon, He Hung Them Just For You ( 2 / 15)

“Have any friends, Rich?” Eddie asked gently. He was resting his head on his hand that was supporting itself on his elbow.

“No…” Richie admitted trying not to sound ashamed of his answer. Eddie’s features softened, maybe with pity, but Richie wouldn’t know. Nobody ever feels bad for him, he doesn’t even know what that looks like.

“Consider me your first, okay?”

Eddie… wants to be my friend?

Playlist - Ao3

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12

“Where are you from, Richie?” Eddie asks with a polite tone, Richie assumes Eddie is only really being nice because it’s their first day.

“Uh… Maine.” Richie replied, purposely making his response dry of details. Derry wasn’t anything special anyway, slap on his past and it’s an even worse topic of discussion.

“Yeah? I lived in Maine for some time, Derry to be specific. My family moved when I had barely started my first year in high school.”

Oh. Shit, he lived in Derry once? A piece of Richie doesn’t believe it, he’s sure he would’ve met and remembered Eddie, it’s a small town after all. Maybe they had met once, there wasn’t exactly a range of options when it came to putting a kid in school in Derry unless he was homeschooled.

“Oh, yeah I’ve… been to Derry. Didn’t like it very much.” That last part was barely above a whisper. He didn’t really mean to lie about his status in Derry, but his past wasn’t something he even comfortable thinking about anymore. Plus, what kind of first impression is that giving his new coworker? He’d actually like Eddie to think he’s normal.

“As far as I remember, Derry was terrible. Everyone had something they hated, apparently, they hated my family the entire time I lived there.” Eddie’s voice was a little off at the end, something Richie wasn’t sure of, confusion? Sadness? It wasn’t much like the polite tone he had in his voice before.

“Oh… uh, sorry.” Richie added, he wasn’t really sure how to respond, and he was deathly afraid of saying the wrong thing.

“Don’t be, I ended up living in New York for a long time. My family wanted me to attend college there but I kinda wanted a change of pace, I figured California would be… more accepting.”

Eddie’s expression was unreadable again for Richie. He wasn’t exactly sure what to make of that, what it might mean. Richie didn’t ask though, he didn’t even let himself linger on the thought for too long because he’s afraid of giving into what the back of his mind is screaming at him. He’s gotta keep his mind in check, that meant nothing. Being… that was dirty, and Richie couldn’t hope that Eddie was dirty, that’s wrong.

“Have any friends, Rich?” Eddie asked gently. He was resting his head on his hand that was supporting itself on his elbow.

“No…” Richie admitted trying not to sound ashamed of his answer. Eddie’s features softened, maybe with pity, but Richie wouldn’t know. Nobody ever feels bad for him, he doesn’t even know what that looks like.

“Consider me your first, okay?”

Eddie… wants to be my friend? 

He tenses up at the mere idea of it, but looking into Eddie’s eyes, seeing something he’s never seen before, he can’t say no.

“Okay.”

…

“What’s your favorite song, Rich?” Eddie asked. It was the next day, Richie and Eddie’s second shift in a job that Richie was slowly figuring out.

Of course, he wasn’t figuring out just the job.

Turns out, Eddie doesn’t have friends either. He met someone in his apartment complex named Ben, but that’s it. Richie was actually the only person he had spoken to the whole time he lived there, which, to be fair, was only two weeks. Still, Eddie, in Richie’s mind, could be friends with anyone he wants, Richie wonders why he would even consider choosing him. Probably because they’re coworkers, right?

“My favorite song… changes very easily.” Richie says slowly. Honestly, he really wants to avoid the question altogether, he doesn’t want to be judged for his music taste. Last time Richie told anyone his favorite song, he was called a fag, and that was before he came out.

“Yeah? Mine too. What’s your current favorite song?”

Richie scratched the back of his neck, Eddie was really leaving him no option, and there’s no way he could say no to someone at this point. He really had no excuse. Richie wonders if he’d be able to say no if he was a different person, but he doesn’t dwell on it for long, Eddie is waiting.

“I… really like the song Dreaming of You… by Cigarettes After Sex.” He stumbled on that last word, he kinda forgot the band name could be distasteful to some people. But Eddie didn’t notice, his face lit up instead.

“Wait really? My favorite song is Starry Eyes by Cigarettes After Sex!”

Oh. Oh! That’s not what Richie was expecting at all. He was expecting a weird look and awkward silence, that’s what he was used to. He was so shocked, he almost didn’t respond to Eddie.

“R-Really?” Richie squeaked out, “I… nobody really knows who they are.”

Eddie shrugs, his smile still bright and apparent on his face. “Well, sometimes that makes bonding over it a little more special.”

“We’re bonding?” Richie blurted out before he could stop himself. His face went a bright pink when he realized what he said, but once again, Eddie’s giggling directed his attention elsewhere.

“I guess we are.”

They both looked down with shy, content smiles, and fell into a comfortable silence. One of the first comfortable silences Richie had ever been in.

“So, Dreaming of You, huh?” Eddie said, still looking down. “Dreaming of anyone, Rich?”  

Richie didn’t respond right away. He thought for a second, he thought about his experiences with relationships. No crushes to his history, no friends to stick around, nobody to remember. Richie hadn’t been dreaming of anyone, but looking at Eddie, being friends with Eddie, Richie thinks that maybe that will all change.

“I’m kidding, Richie.” Eddie huffs out a laugh when Richie doesn’t respond, “you don’t need to answer.”

Richie sighs and nods his head, but the fear of him actually dreaming of Eddie floats in his mind.

…

Eddie came in the next day with a smile on his face and a skip in his step, it made Richie curious, but he scolded himself in his mind for even looking at Eddie. Eddie quickly got behind the cash register and dug into the backpack he brought every day to work and pulled out a few papers with words Richie couldn’t properly see. Richie wondered if Eddie had something on his mind, in the past few days they had been working together, Eddie always came in happily. But this was extra happy, something Richie hasn’t seen before.

“Hey, Rich,” Eddie said, calling Richie out of his own head.

“Sorry…” Richie mumbled, feeling a little ashamed that he wasn’t paying attention to Eddie. Shit, that was rude, wasn’t it? Come on, good friends don’t ignore their friends. Does he think I was ignoring him? Should I ask him? No wait, don’t do that, that’s stupid-

“Don’t apologize, you were in your own little world there,” Eddie said with a lopsided smile that made Richie feel… confused. He was never allowed to get away with that with people before, they’d call him stupid and rude, he’d be lucky if they only spared a glare in his direction.

“But anyway, I made this list last night for you.” Eddie handed over the papers he had in his bag. Richie took them slowly, not really sure what exactly was going on. When he looked over the words on the lined paper, he realized they were songs.

Blackout Control - Spendtime Palace

Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys

Boys Got to Go - BRONCHO

Honey - III Spector Lemon Boy - Cavetown

Void - The Neighborhood

The list goes on.

Richie looks up at Eddie with shock written all over his face. He’s heard some of these songs before, but knowing that Eddie made something for him, even if it’s just a list, it does something to him. Gives him hope.

“Thank you.” Richie breathes quietly, Eddie barely catches onto what he says. How genuine his words are caught Eddie a little off guard, he sounds like he’s never been given anything in his whole life. Richie doesn’t know, but that detail breaks his heart a little.

“You’re… You’re welcome.” Eddie says, and Richie hopes he knows that one list just made Richie’s whole year. He made Richie’s whole year.

…

“You ever been in a planetarium before?” Eddie asks. He’s looking behind him at the entrance to the planetarium with a bored expression. It’s late on a Friday night, normally the two would’ve gone home by then, like the people who can actually operate the planetarium. Unfortunately, the boss man (Stan) told the two that the museum was gonna be opened later due to some interview bullshit that the mayor would be doing. The actual boss wanted at least one person from every “station” to stay behind and redirect people to the interview in case they’d wander off and get lost. Richie thought it was bullshit, but he didn’t say anything. Eddie almost did, he’s like a firecracker in Richie’s eyes, ready to pop.

“No,” Richie shakes his head. He knows he wants to explain to Eddie that there were none in his hometown, but sharing details made a red light in his mind go off. Plus, he didn’t wanna say too much and bore Eddie.

Eddie nods his head and hums, “yeah me neither, wanna check it out?”

Richie’s jaw dropped and his voice was caught in his throat. Sneak in? Is this guy crazy?

“Awe, come on, Rich!” Eddie slightly whined, “nobody has even come back here! We’d be fine, trust me.”

Richie had never done anything rebellious before as a kid. When he was young, he was always cautious not to do something that would upset his mom, but he was torn between that option and not being called a “little bitch” by his peers. He’s still caught between that now, he doesn’t wanna get in trouble, but he couldn’t stand the thought of Eddie thinking he was a little bitch. He wanted Eddie to like him, he wanted Eddie to treat him like he has this whole time.

“O-Okay…” Richie says weakly, the nerves in his voice apparent, and it didn’t go over Eddie’s head. Eddie looked at him with stern, serious eyes, and then they soften.

“Rich, we don’t have to go in. I’m just bored but if it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to go in.”

No! He cries out in his mind, man up Tozier! You can do this.

“It’s… it’s okay. I’ll go,” Richie mumbles, his brows knit together like he’s trying to convince himself of his own words.

Eddie doesn’t move for a straight minute. His eyes study Richie’s expression and body language, not that Richie could tell, but Eddie was concerned. Hesitantly, Eddie nods his head. “Alright, Rich, but I shit you not if you get uncomfortable I’m yanking you out of there.”

Richie doesn’t answer him then. Instead, he thinks about why Eddie is so concerned about how he feels. He’s been wondering it ever since Eddie spoke to him, why would Eddie care so much about Richie? Is this what friends do? Richie knows that he cares about Eddie, and Eddie says they’re friends, so it must be what friends do. But still, Richie doesn’t feel like he deserves it, it’s kinda hard for him to go from everyone hating his guts to someone actually being nice to him.

“Come on, Richie,” Eddie wraps his hand gently around Richie’s wrist, making him flinch. Eddie notices too because he pulls his hand back. “It’ll be okay.”

It’ll be okay. Richie likes that, he’s not sure why, but it made him feel… safe.

“Okay.”

The inside of the planetarium was dark, almost pitch black. If it wasn’t for the flashlight on Eddie’s phone, they wouldn’t be able to see a thing. Eddie led the way inside, Richie trailed behind him trying to resist the urge to grab onto any part of Eddie. He didn’t wanna touch him in a romantic way really, he wanted to touch him because being in such a dark, unfamiliar place was scaring him, and Richie didn’t do so great when he was scared.

As they walked to the controls, Richie nearly slipped on his own shoelace, which freaked him out way more than he’d care to admit. Of course, he just had to let out a cry of fear, and Eddie just had to hear it.

“Shit, Rich you okay?” Eddie asked turning around and shining his flashlight on Richie, who looked like he had seen a ghost. He was trembling and biting his lip, if he said something like “oh no I’m okay,” he’d laugh in his own face, it’s clear he’s probably gonna cry.

Oh no, no, no. I can’t cry!

“Richie, let’s go back, this was stupid, I’m sorry.” Eddie grabbed his wrist again, gentler than the last time and easy to break out of. But Eddie doesn’t realize that his simple touch was enough for Richie to halt some of his worries, it made his trembling stop. Oh shit, but he’s still trying to get us out of here.

“Eddie…” Richie whimpered quietly, “I… I wanna do it. I can do it.”

Eddie turned around and watched his expression like he did before they decided to do this in the first place. Richie tried to ignore his own thoughts of my glasses definitely make my eyes bigger, he’s probably thinking it looks weird, or am I making the wrong expression? Do I still look scared shitless?

“You’re a brave one, huh Rich?” Eddie breathes out with a comforting smile.

“W-What?” Richie squeaks out.

Eddie giggled, “come on, I know where the controls are. We’re gonna see space tonight, Rich.”

Richie nodded, still completely confused by Eddie’s previous statement. Eddie walked over to the controls, still loosely holding Richie’s wrist. Richie followed him, as expected, but with less hesitation. He watches silently as Eddie reads over the labels above the switches, figuring out which one would actually turn on the stars without the sound that goes with it. After a minute or two, Richie stares directly at Eddie’s face, he can barely see it because of the lighting, but Richie’s fascinated. He’s so focused, yet excited about the situation, his tongue is slightly poking out the side of his mouth and one eyebrow is raised in confusion. Richie doesn’t even notice he figures out the switch until the bright light of the stars flashes brighter than the sun.

“Shit!” Eddie cries out with a laugh. Richie feels the same, but he doesn’t vocalize it. He won’t lie though, the shock was thrilling, even if the entire situation was terrifying.

“That was way brighter than I thought it was gonna be,” Eddie says with the laughter still apparent in his voice. Richie wishes he could be that carefree, but he tries not to think about it at that time. Instead, he focuses on the stars displayed above.

“I… I like it,” Richie admits, not entirely sure how to express himself.

“They look nicer here than they do in the city,” Eddie states. Richie thinks it’s ironic how stars displayed on the ceiling look better than they do from the ground outside, and he wishes he could say that, but he doesn’t. He thinks Eddie would laugh though.

The stars are beautiful, he’d admit that. The galaxy displayed above comes in so many different colors, Richie doesn’t think he can name them all. The stars litter across the “sky” like the freckles on his cheeks, he thinks they’re his favorite part. The constellations are outlined and labeled, at that moment, Richie realized just how many he had never seen before. The stars are his favorite, and then he looks down at Eddie, and he isn’t looking at any of the stars.

He’s looking at Richie.

“They, uh, reflect off your glasses,” Eddie says, adding a fake cough at the end. His cheeks are tinted red, it makes Richie wanna blush too.

“Oh,” Richie nods, not sure what to say.

“Yeah,” Eddie chuckles a little, “starry eyes, huh?”

Then Richie smiles, recalling how Eddie told him that was his favorite song. They don’t speak after that, they fall into a comfortable silence and watch the stars.

And little does Richie know, Eddie is still watching him, feeling something beautiful blossom in his chest.

[magicalhideoutengineer]

What can you tell us about your character?

CALLUM TURNER: I play Theseus, who is Newt's older brother, even though I'm younger than Eddie, which is interesting! He's kind of the opposite of Newt. He's gone through the same schooling obviously, but once he got out he decided that the establishment was the way to fight the good fight. Theseus is or may be quite more rigid or just part of the establishment. You know, he's the head Auror at the Ministry.

Can you talk about the casting process? Talk about how you got the role and auditioning with Eddie and everything.

CALLUM TURNER: It was the normal process of going in with Fiona Weir, who is the casting director, and then having a second meeting with David [Yates] and then having a third with Eddie, which I was really, really excited about, workshopping it with David and Eddie, because obviously, David is one of the best directors we’ve got in England, and I think Eddie is the same as an actor, and I followed his career upward, basically, and in a sense, not tried to model but have been lucky to be able to go and do American indies like Eddie has, and I was very impressed and inspired by the choices that he makes. He’s always made really good choices, so yeah, I was over the moon to just go and meet him, and actually, I did this weird thing on the first take. There’s this scene, and I just kissed him on the head. We weren’t even recording. It’s not in the movie. There’s no reason for me to have done it. But yeah, I think that’s probably why I got the part.

How did he react?

Callum Turner: He’s just [a] very nice man and didn’t really say anything, but I’m sure when I left the room, they were like “Huh?” But yeah, so it was within the conventions of a casting process. Pretty normal but with really brilliant people.

Did she [J.K. Rowling] give you any advice on playing the character?

Callum Turner: No. She did say to me ,”I didn’t think of Theseus as how you look, but” and I was like “All right, cool, man. I’m gonna give it a shot,” so …

You seem very chill and friendly. Are we going to see more of a stern, serious kind of character onscreen? 

TURNER: Yeah, I mean, he's the opposite to Newt.  I guess he's more rigid, and he's conformed to the way that people want you to … he's become one of them I guess, and he went to Hogwarts. He was taught by Dumbledore. He’s from that school, and he became this, which you can take...

What does your character think of Newt’s newfound success? Does he resent him at all for it?

Callum Turner: I think there’s a sort of a relief. Theseus is really successful. He’s a very determined man to reach the top, and I think having his younger brother sort of float around in this obscurity, in a sense, was quite worrying for him.

Eddie was saying to us that he worked with, I think, a dance teacher to get some of his character’s movements down, and he included the hand movements with his wand. How did you go about deciding how you were going to do [that]? Because I imagine it’s really fun to hold the wand and figure out if you’re going to be really jerky or delicate and how you practiced doing that.

Callum Turner: Alex Reynolds is the movement coach, who[m] Eddie worked with on [The] Theory of Everything and The Danish Girl, and she’s amazing, and there’s this wand school-type thing. So I did a movie a few years ago where I played a punk, and anyway, I sort of learned a little bit how to play drums. Not very well. But the way that they hold the sticks is quite interesting, drummers, and for some reason, because the idea of him being a punk or a rebel of sorts, being true to who he was, so when he was younger, having that in him even though he’s part of the establishment now, so the way that I hold the wand is, I have it sort of through here, and it’s a tiny, tiny little thing, but that’s something that Alex and I worked on.

Press: That’s cool. What are Theseus’s thoughts about the creatures? What are his relationships with them?

Callum Turner: Yeah, I think he has bigger fish to fry and it’s his little brother’s thing. That’s his sort of looking down on his brother.

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

Chapter 52 - Deer, dog tags and microwaves

In the previous chapter: Angie agrees to go out with Dave. Eddie keeps calling to talk to her and she has to spill the beans and tell Meg what happened in San Diego, she also tries to explain her point of view on the matter and why she's avoiding him. Grace and Meg planned to spend the evening together at Meg's place. Eventually Grace remains alone in the apartment for a few minutes and that's when Stone calls. Gossard is tender as always with her and she almost seems intimidated by his behaviour. Grace speaks to Eddie too and since she doesn't know about the kiss between Angie and him, she decides to shake things up a little and make him jealous by telling him about Angie going out with Dave that night. Eddie takes it really bad. Grace thinks her plan worked until she tells Meg and finds out where Angie and Eddie are really at. Once Angie comes back home  the girls finally have her call Eddie and tell him the truth. Angie confronts Eddie and reveals Dave has just started dating Jennifer, L7's bassplayer, and she simply went to one of their concerts with him so he wouldn't go alone and feel awkward. Eddie apologizes to Angie and confesses what he feels for her in a way he never managed to do before. Angie's friends hear it all since they forced her to put him on speakerphone.

***

Strong fragrance used in perfumery. Four letters. Starts with an M. Magnolia! No, it's eight. Mango... Mandarine... Ugh what the fuck? I strangely managed to put my hands on the copy of the Seattle Times that sometimes we happen to buy before Angie, so she hasn't done the crossword yet. But now I guess I'll have to ask my friend for help because I don't know how to go on.

“So, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I turn up at the table, usual protocol greeting with smile incuded, I ask the woman what she's having and she asks, literal words, a cheeseburger without chees and some fries” the door of her bedroom is open, I cautiously look inside and see her on the phone. Of course I already know who she's talking to. Since that night when Grace and I managed to convince her to call poor Eddie, there have been lots more calls, every day. Unfortunately not on speakerphone. Fuck, when he was there spilling his heart all out to Angie, Grace and I melted in sighs and aaaaaws and Vedder almost caught us. Am I nosey? Yes. I meddle in other people's love life to avoid thinking of the disaster which is mine? Yes, I do. Am I also genuinely happy things are going great for my friend as she deserves though? I am!

“Wait. I'm just standing there, kind of confused for how she spoke, then I reply: great, I'll take you the Go-go meal with hamburger + fries + medium drink for $ 4,99. Well, basically she doesn't even let me finish talking and says: No, no, I don't want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger with no cheese” Angie rocks left and right on the swivel chair as she listens her sweetheart's answer with a big smile on her face.

“Exactly! Hahaha same thing I told her: So... you mean... a hamburger, madam? NO! She says, very bitterly. I said I don't want any hamburger, I asked for a simple cheeseburger with no cheese! I swear she was yelling, I was so ashamed for me but for her too” Angie rotates a little more on her chair, sees me and nods at me.

“I didn't bat an eyelid and said: So you wanna pay one dollar more for a cheeseburger but you want it without the cheese?” Angie and I burst our laughing together as I enter her room, then she goes on “Yes, that's the point, 'cause the Cheeseburger menu costs more, that's the most absurd thing! If I take an order as cheeseburger, even if I tell the guys in the kitchen not to put cheese in it, it'll still be considered as a cheeseburger. Well, you know what, this bitch widens her eyes to me and goes like: Yes, exactly! Was it so difficult for you to understand? Ahahah yeah, I told you, she was a bitch!”

“The customer's always right!” I state as I sit on her bed.

“Hey, you and Meg said the same thing almost at the same time! Anyway, since the customer's always right and this woman had just basically told me I was an idiot, whereas she was the real idiot, I cheerfully replied: Not at all, madam. There goes a Marilyn meal with cheesburger with no cheese + fries + medium drink for €5,99 for you, ok? And the bitch: Yes, that's it, now you're talking. Thank you. Oh fuck you! Hehe... wait a second, ok?” Angie laughs with Eddie, then takes the phone off her ear slightly and addresses me “Did you need anything?”

“Strong fragrnce used in perfumerie, starts with an M, four letters” I ask her, showing the newspaper.

“Musk” she answers in a couple of seconds. Yes! That was it! Why didn't I think about it. I hate her.

“Yeah, it can be actually”

“It cannot be, it actually is!” she gloats then puts the receiver back against her ear “What? Did you know it too? He knew it too”

“Well thank you both but there's no need to brag!” I throw a pillow at Angie, who manages to dodge it, then takes it up from the floor.

“Sadly used in perfumerie I'd add... What do you mean why? Musk is extremely harmful, both the synthetic and the natural one... Well, in doubt, I'd rather not have to choose between either the total extinction of an animal species or pollution and maybe choose other kinds of perfumes, don't you think? What? What animal? What do you mean? You know where does musk come from, right?” a debate starts between Angie and Eddie and I can only hear one side of it, which I think it's the most consistent part anyway “Plant? What plant? Musk is not a plant! I mean, yeah, there's also some plant but that's not what's used to make perfumes. No! It's an animal secretion, from a deer, the musk deer. No, I'm not kidding, Eddie, I swear! There deer have a gland, like a small sack under their belly, that emits this substance and they spread it around to mark their territory, especially during mating season... Hahahaha no, Eddie, it's not deer's sperm!”

Not the typical conversation between lovers, right?

“Anyway now it's basically all synthetic” I remark once I write the correct word in the puzzle.

“That's even worse because it's extremely polluting and ends up in the food chain.” Angie answers both to me and Eddie “What? Hahaha no, don't buy me musk perfume, thank you. And don't buy me any presents in general... you already did too many... yes you did... yes you did... Eddie? Please... Come on...” now we're back to more couple stuff, Angie holds the pillow tighter and tighter and I think it's time to get out of here and go back to my room. Well, or to keep eavesdropping from outside without being seen.

“Wait, Meg! Yes, I'm gonna ask her now.” I stand up and am about to leave, walking backwards and waving bye, but Angie stops me “Will you go and see the guys tomorrow in Portland?”

“Yeah, that's the plan. Grace and Laura are coming too”

“Did you hear that? Meg, Grace and Laura, the perfect trio ready to cheer and throw bras at you”

“Haha I've got very little to throw!”

“No, Eddie, I told you, I can't... Roxy will kill me, it's even a Thursday, the night school nurses finish earlier... I can't take another day off”

I see our little Romeo is impatient. His dreams started to break when he found out Kelly had planned a series of radio promos and interviews right during the two days break between the two Oregon shows and that he'd have to wait before coming back to Settle. Eddie tried to avoid it by explaining that he doesn't really count in Stone and Jeff's band and that they could do the job but apparently it didn't work.

“Come on, I'll see you the day after tomorrow, no big change... Oh shut up, it doesn't change anything... Hahaha no!” I'm still here standing in the middle of Angie's room while she plays arond with that pillow and I'd really want to know what was that last no about but I know my friend will never tell me.

“Say hi to him, ok?” this time I leave for real, yet stopping in the hallway 'cause, as I said, I haven't learned how to mind my own business yet.

“Meg says hi! Anyway I was thinking of something. Hahaha no, not that! I was thinking, if the girl come to see you tomorrow... well, for someone it'll be like losing that famous bet once again... don't you think? Hehehe I have no idea, I don't know Portland, I don't know if there are any 70s discos in town, you should ask Stone. No no, ask him, I'm sure he'd be willing to set one up by himself so he could make fun of the losers! Haha yeah, that'd be a can't-miss event. Oh yeah? Why? Uh sure, my presence would definitely make the difference”

The lovebirds' phone call goes on for a little while, with Eddie probably telling her something sweet and Angie joking about it, maybe because of her natural embarrassment or because she knows exactly I'm right her listening to them. After she ends the call, she dispels my uncertainty.

“Meg!”

I keep my mouth shut.

“Meg? Come on, I know you're there!”

“Uhm? I was going to the bathroom” I magically show up back on the doorway, right in time to be the target of a weak pillow throw.

“Sure...”

“So?” I sit back on her bed, waiting for Angie to finally share something without me trying to forcefully extort information from her.

“Grace is coming with you tommorrow then?” Angie immediately kills all my hopes.

“Yeah, she is”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I called her in the morning and she told me she's in. Why?”

“I don't know, it's just... she doesn't really look like she can't wait to see Stone... does she? Am I wrong? I mean, it sounds strange but...”

“Wait a minute. Angela Pacifico... gossiping?!!”

“Hahaha fuck you, Meg!”

“Who are you? What did you do to my roommate?” I stand up straight, pointing at her with a trembling hand.

“I'm not gossiping, I'm just worrying about a couple of friends”

“Worrying huh?” I pull my arm down and snicker at her.

“Two dear friends I care about. And look cute together. And Grace seemed really into it at the beginning but now... meh... I mean, do you think there's something we don't know?” the new gossip queen is beating around the bush and I decide to play along. Also because one more conversation about Grace is one less about me and my non existent love life.

“Nah, I think it's normal. Grace had a crush and Stone played it cool. Now he doesn't act all cool anymore and she's confused, that's it”

“Stone looks pretty straight forward to me”

“Oh yeah, actually... He reminds me of someone else we know” this time I can't help picking on her but she rolls her eyes and goes on.

“He basically thinks they're a couple already, whereas she kind of shut him off” sure, a kind of behaviour you're really familiar with, right Angie? I don't say it loud this time.

“She will open up tomorrow, trust me”

“I don't want them to suffer, that's all” my friend shrugs and plays with the phone still in her hands. Are you saying this to yourself maybe?

“So... no musk perfume?” I aske her after a while and Angie starts rocking on her chair again.

“Haha no, please!”

“I have to remind Eddie to take one that's fruit scented” I wink at her while she puffs and takes a 360 degrees spin.

“Please...”

“Banana would be perfect”

“MEG!”

“What? What did I say?!”

****************************************************************************************************************************

Beer pong. Twenty six years old and I still play beer pong? Well, Kim's thirty and he organizes tournaments of these fucking games. It should console me. Twenty six, a steady relationship, a serious music project, a bank account that allows me to pay my bills without struggling at the end of the month... and I wake up at six in the morning in my bassplayer's bathtub. Fucking back pain! And why the fuck am I still in this shitty condo? I curse as I insist pressing the button to call for the elevator tht will never come. Then I give up to climb up four flights of stairs.

I drag my tired bones up to the door of my apartment but when I put my hand in my pocket looking for the keys the cold metal feeling is replace by total void. I can't fucking believe it. Did Matt have to find himself a girlfriend right now? I quickly feel up all the pockets in my jacket and in my pants, can't find shit and punch the door.

“Fuck” as throw the punch I clearly hear the clink sound of keys and I try and search better but I can't find anything. I punch the door once more and there's the sound again. I start jumping in place like a moron in front of the door and at every jump there's a jingle. I take off my jacket, shake it, same sound. I inspect each and every pocket more attentively and I find something: not the keys but a big hole in the left pocket. Mistery solved! Now I only have to use that little lucidity I've got left to determine the exact position of the keys inside the lining of my jacket and take them out. As I try to take them, I can hear another sound, not metallic but “human”, that catches my attention. A voice, like someone hummig very quietly without words. At first I think maybe it's someone singing while shaving or dressing up, after all it's morning for the rest of the world. But I can clearly hear this voice, although it's faint, and has a little echo that makes me thing the person's already left home. So why am I not seeing anyone passing? I walk through the hallway and I'm still feeling my jacket for the keys when I turn the corner and see him: Vedder, sitting on the floor, well on the mat just outside the girls' apartment, writing on a notebook, with a paperbag on his legs.

“Eddie?” I call him 'cause he doesn't seem to notice me.

“Oh, hey, hi Chris” Eddie stops writing and says hi, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“What are you doing here? Aren't you on tour?”

“It's over! I mean, technically it ends on 3rd March but since the last three shows are here in Seattle we're basically done. I mean, we're done touring. Away” Eddie calmly explains, clicking his pen and putting it inside the notebook, then putting it all in the inside pocket of his jacket. As he does this, I can see his t-shirt: a white one with Air love bone written on it and the silhouette of a long haired basket player looking more like Jeff rather than Jordan. I've got one of those t-shirts too but mine is dark blue.

“Aren't you supposed to play in Oregon?”

“We were, we played in Portland last night. Small crowd but good atmosphere, great show” Eddie nods at himself and doesn't get up.

“Did you play yesterday? And when did you get back?”

“What time is it now? Uh half past seven. Well, a few hours ago”

“Hehe so you guys jumped on the van and dashed back home right after the show, right? You couldn't wait huh?” I guess he was especially looking forward to it. It's not like Eddie has ever told me anything about this stuff, I'm neither his confidant nor Jeff. But maybe I'm one of those, together with Ament and a few other people, who knows him a little better. Anyway it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if you're here outside a girl's door instead of at home in your bed to sleep the tour off, well, there's something big going on.

“Well, ehm, I don't know about this... I mean, don't know what the others did, I... I came back by myself” for a second Eddie loses his apparent composure.

“By yourself?”

“Yeah”

“How?”

“Hitchhiking” he replies raising his thumb.

“Hitchhiking?”

“Yes”

“You mean, you dropped everything and said I'm out of here, bye and hitchhiked to Seattle?”

“Village People inspired me”

“Uh?”

“Do you want to spend the night? Do you know the song?”

“Are you fucking high, Ed?”

At that point he explains it's about one of the infamous bets of Stone and Jeff and that part of our friends performed in the Melody Ballroom's parking lot. I know the place. I played that venue and I even saw Fugazi there. It's always made me smile thinking that they also do wedding and high school dances in that place. Well, congrats to the owner's versatility and open mindness.

“And at some point I thought: what the fuck am I doing here? And I asked some guys I already saw at some of our shows here if they could give me a ride” the reason he had this sudden realisation is right on the other side of that door, we both know, but none of us feels the need to point it out.

“And why did it take you so long?”

“Well, not that long...”

“How long have you been sitting on that fucking mat?” I ask when I finally find my fucking keys and try to fish them out.

“No, well, I've been here for an hour. Maybe two”

“And why?”

“Because it was too early”

“So fans dropped you here and then you noticed it was too early?”

“No, they didn't drop me here”

“And where?”

“At Pike Place” he answers like it's obvious and I'm stupid for asking.

“Pike Place” I nod and repeat, going along with him as you do with crazy people.

“I had to buy something” he adds grabbing the paper bag and putting it aside on the floor on his left side.

“But isn't it closed?” I ask skeptical.

“Bakeries open early”

“Ah” playing along, yeah, that's the best strategy.

“I had a coffee, something to eat, bought something for Angie, then came here”

“Hitchhiking?”

“Hahaha what? No, by street car!” once again he replies as if I'm the dork and maybe he's not entirely wrong.

“I came here and when I was about to ring the doorbell I realised it was like five o' clock in the morning”

“As another Village People's song says”

“Uhm, yeah... but what's that got to do with this?” he asks serious all of a sudden with a straight face and I basically burst out laughing at his face. With Eddie you never know if he's being serious or he's making fun of you and that's something I like in people. He surely must have understood I'm not exactly sane either, I think he learnt that the first time I took him out for a drink. Or when I showed up at the mini market and took him away after his shift ended, telling him I'd show him how local rockstars spend their friday nights. And we spent the night drinking beer and chasing my dogs, well Susan's dogs actually, in the woods.

“Hahaha nothing! So you parked your butt on that mat, right?”

“Yeah...” he answers, still confused “waiting for a more decent timing”

“Well, come on, half past seven seems acceptable” I walk up to him and try to ring the doorbell but Eddie stops me grabbing my wrist.

“No!”

“Why not?”

“I haven't heard any sounds, she hasn't waken up yet. I'll wait until she gets up” I back up and picture Eddie putting his ear against the door waiting for the sound of the microwave blip or the toilet flush and I laugh my ass off, internally. Don't wanna hurt the guy”

“What about your stuff?”

“What stuff?”

“Your things, your bags”

“Oh I only had a backpack, it's on the van. Jeff will bring it to me, I think”

“You think?”

“Well, I think so”

“But... did you tell your bandmates you were going back home?”

“Mmm... wait... oh yes, I told Mike” oh well, in that case, you really got nothing to worry about.

“Was he sober when you told him?”

“It looked like...” while Eddie begins describing Mike's state during last night's aftershow, the door he was leaning his back against abruptly opens and he falls dead weight backwards. I figure out he's still alive when he finishes the sentence from Angie's apartment's floor “... he was... yes!”

“What the fu... Eddie? Chris?” the girl gives each one of us a confused look, as she ties the belt of her pink robe.

“Hi sweetie! I found this on your doormat. No name tag but he looks well fed” I joke while Eddie's still lying on the floor.

“Hi Angie!” he exclaims enthusiastically as he looks her up in all her... sugarcandyness? Does it exist? D'uh...

“Eddie! What are you doing on the floor, get up” Angie offers him her hand and he gladly accepts, he takes her hand and grabs the doorknob and gets up.

“I fell” haha yeah, it's pretty evident you fell for that chick, you jerk.

“Did you get hurt?” she asks perplexed.

“Nah”

“He didn't hit his head, that's just his natual self, trust me. Hey Eddie, be careful” I warn him pointing at the paper bag he's almost trampling on.

“Oh fuck, thanks Chris” he takes the bag and holds it like it was a newborn baby to cradle.

“What's that?” she asks, more and more puzzled, also because she must have just got up and as first activity of the day she has to deal with two assholes.

“Breakfast!” Vedder replies, all smug and pleased with himself.

“Oh... thank you... well, let's have breakfast” Angie points back to the inside of her apartment and I guess it's time to get out of here now, considering I also found my fucking keys.

“See ya then, ok?”

“Aren't you having breakfast with us?” she asks so innocently. Eddie's look is enough for me to find the right answer.

“No, thank you sweetie, I'm too tired. And just the idea of eating or drinking something right now makes my stomach cry”

“Mmh, ok, see you later then”

“Bye Chris!” Eddie disappears into her apartment.

“Good night guys... I mean, good morning... well, you got the idea”

“Night Chris”

****************************************************************************************************************************

“What the hell were you doing out here chatting? I heard noises and-” I close the door after I make sure Chris can walk straight enough to get to his apartment and as soon as I turn around I'm swept away by Eddie who engulfs me in a hug and corners me against the door.

“Sorry if we woke you up”

“N-no, but no! I... was already awake”

“I missed you”

“Oh, ehm, I missed you too” I reply and I really hope the mouthwash I used last night really has prolonged action as the label claims because Eddie's basically breathing against my lips, rubbing his nose against mine.

“So fuckin' much...” he's getting closer and I don't know where to look, if I should look, if I should close my eyes, kiss him, wait for him to kiss me, if I should just keep my mouth shut and enjoy the moment.

But I am keeping my mouth shut...

Well, you should shut up in your mind too, you idiot!

But not thinking... it's impossible. Even thinking about not thinking... it's a thought after all, isn't it?

But why are you coming up with this shit while Eddie's torturing you so sweetly? And your hands? Where the fuck did you put your hands?

Wait, I've got them... just... hanging, mid air, I'm basically hugging him with my elbows.

With your elbows? What the fuck, are you a mechanic? Not touching people with your hands dirty with grease?! You look like the young sheperd in nonna's presepe, the marvelled one, with his hands thrown up in the air.

I manage to interrupt the inner quarrel with myself for a moment and place my hands on Eddie's shoulders. He must perceive it as a green lights signal and kisses me.

Dave Gahan is nowhere to be seen or heard and the same goes for his bandmates, uncle Tome Jones doesn't show up, no Sonny, no Cher, nobody. For a minute there I almost feel like an adult, at least until I hear castanets clanking and Phil Spector literally throws the Crystals trio on stage unceremoniously.

He kissed me in a way that I've never been kissed before

He kissed me in a way that I wanna be kissed forever more

The concert doesn't end when Eddie pulls away for a second and looks at me in the eyes, as if he was searching for something. Maybe he's trying to understand if I'm on this planet or not and he already knows there'll be no point asking me directly. I don't know what kind of answer he finds but he must like it because he smiles, perfectly showing his fucking dimples... as if I needed other stimulation! And he kisses me again. This time it's small kisses slowly going from my lips to my cheek, then down towards the neck. One of his hands moves up along my hips, it may or may not, maybe I dreamt it, brush against my left boob. He tickles my arms even through a pretty thick layer of fleece, caresses my face and buries his hand into my hair, while his neck kisses turn into bites.

I gotta do something.

But I don't want to!

But you have to, can't you see you're panicking? Do you wanna wait until your head starts spinning, you see white dots and then you pass out like a loser?

It's so delightful though.

And what if he wants to do something more delightful?

I wish...

God, Angie, pull yourself together!

“What's in the bag?” I manage to snap out of it.

“Uhm?” he mumbles still nibbling on my neck and nape.

“In the bag you brought...”

“I told you... earlier... breakfast” he replies following the same trail as before but backwards, between kisses.

“That is?”

“Croissants” he reveals before planting a kiss on my nose.

“Custard cream?” I ask, suddenly very interested and for real, not just as an excuse to break this pleasurable moment.

“And chocolate” he nods deliciously, almost in a childish way “I took them very early this morning, for you, as soon as I arrived”

“By the way, when did you arrive?”

“Early” and he tells me about his hitchhiking and the different stops and everything that led him here to my place. And I'm still one with the door, crushed against it. And against Eddie, who doesn't show any intentions to let go of me. He did all that... for me? To see me a few hours earlier than we planned?

Well he must have problems if he hitchhikes with strangers at night only to see you with sleep in your eyes, still unshowered, your teeth unbrushed and your hair pinned up messily.

“Need to be warmed up then...”

“What?”

“Croissants, they must be cold now”

“Uh! Hehe well, yeah...” why is he blushing? But most of all, how many hands does he have? Theoretically he has one still in my half up half down hair and the other one on my left hip, but I feel his touch everywhere.

“Have breakfast now? I have to be in class in like one hour” I try and come back to my senses.

“Oh... do you really have to?” and do you really have to look at me like that?

“Huh... yeah, the monographic course about Renoir's waiting for me. And today the professor is gonna explain the passage from silent to sound movies, that is a very important part, which is gonna be in the exam too, so...”

“Ok” he lets go of me but takes me by the hand and leads me into the kitchen, where I spot the paper bag on the table. I was just wondering where he put it.

No, not true, you weren't wondering, you werent' thinking about the fucking bag at all.

Ok, can we just stop! Can we just shut up and stop quarrelling here? I'm trying to remain conscious and not to miss a second of this thing. And it's breakfast time now.

Eddie's hands are on my shoulders as I take the envelope out of the bag, I quickly open it and soon find out he bought like a ton of inviting croissants.

“Is this breakfast for the whole neighborhood?” I giggle.

“No, just for us” the grip on my shoulders gets tighter and a quick scorching kiss is planted on my cheek.

“I'm gonna warm four of them, ok?”

Eddie doesn't say anything, he just kisses me on the other cheek and I don't know if I'll make it to see La Chienne.

“Are you microwaving them?” he demands as I put the plate into the small oven.

“Yeah, but for a very short time or they... ehm, or they'll get too hard... like unedible rocks” just like me, stiffening all up like a board for kisses, caresses and hugs. Like this one, the tight hug from behind, with Eddie's curls tickling my neck.

“I trust you” he whispers into my ear.

I don't, I don't trust you at all, because you clearly want me dead.

When the croissants are ready I take the steamy plate our of the microwave and basically storm out of the kitchen and reach for the couch in the living room, placing our breakfast on the coffee table, thinking I'll be safe now. Safe from what? No idea. But it's just like jumping from the frying pan into the fire because Eddie walks up, leans on me and kisses me again, with resolution, before even touching the couch sitting beside me. His determination is put into practice as he literally throws himself on me and, as expected, I think I've just got into rigid corpse mode because Eddie pulls away almost immediately.

“Are you alright?”

“Huh? Yeah”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, why?”

“Are you sure? You look... strange” he goes on with his inquiring ocean blue eyes that I'm looking up to and that look even deeper from such a close priviledged position.

“No, it's just... well, it's late and-”

“Too much?”

“Well, not too late but...”

“No, I mean... me... what I'm doing... Too much? Too fast?”

“NO!” I basically yell at his face so loud that I almost mess his hair. A devilish grin appears on his face and at this point I'm sure he totally knows the effect he has on me “Ehm no, it's not that, it's just... I really have class and I can't...”

“You're perfectly right, I'm sorry.” Eddie gives me a tiny little kiss on the lips that leaves me wanting ten thousand more just now and sits back down “And croissants are getting cold, that'd be a pity” he adds with a dimpled smile as he takes one with custard cream.

What about me? No, I definitely don't run the croissants' risk.