#i dont really fit with the nonbinary people

[mx-misty-eyed]

barbie was a good movie but honestly there wasnt anything special about it to me, i never connected with barbies as a kid, i dont feel connected to any of the ways they protray gender in the movie. I'm a trans guy who has never really experienced any gender specific, Ive never experienced actually being a woman (both the good and bad parts, never been catcalled or objectified, and ive never had any kind of girl moment with my friends or anything like that). And as a closeted trans guy I've never really experienced being a man either, and the movies portrayal of both genders meant absolutely nothing to me. (also the theme of moms and shit, I dont really have any negative or positive connection with my mom so that meant nothing to me too) The most i connected with anything in that movie was allan and even then i didnt really feel like him. So I liked the movie, it was good it was funny it was cute, but it was just like any other good movie to me and honestly felt overhyped

[moomeecore]

simone. could just be me, but i like simone better than simona

(and im not a fan of genderbent betty, but i saw one artist call him burt or berty i think)

ive never heard the name simona tbh. i feel simone has some potential but also, like, just using a genered variation on "simon" is kinda lame. burt is not a good name betty will never be burt. to offence to bert from sesame street, its ok when it's him.

[epicdogymoment]

once again rubbed the wrong way by friends who unintentionally reveal that they dont really engage with my masculinity in any real way and see me as nonbinary (female-lite)

[medicasino]

ive just accepted im just never going to fit cleanly into any label or community ever

[transmaverique]

you're assuming a lot about binary trans people, and if anything it makes me think that our understandings of our genders aren't actually that different? Not every binary trans person wants to pass as a cis person. I don't want to pass as a cis woman, I want people to understand me for what I am, a collection of internal beliefs and thoughts that I've constructed an identity with. It sounds like we both have created identities for ourselves! If you think that non binary people are the only people capable of creating their own identities and striving to be seen as them, that's on you

im gonna try one more time. i cant really tell if youre being sarcastic or not so im gonna assume youre being genuine when you say you think we have similar understandings of gender. but to me it sounds like you are deliberately ignoring the Actual Words i am saying.

we need words to describe our experiences, both different and common ones. those words may be in themselves faulty or somewhat inaccurate, but they are what we have to discuss important concepts, and they function well enough if they have a generally agreed-upon meaning. right?

so. the dominant culture of the imperial core is one of strictly binary sex. anything that breaks this, is deviant of the "rules of nature", to this dominant culture. right?

so then we call people who are NOT of this binary system multiple different things depending on cultural context and personal identity and personal circumstance. right?

'nonbinary' is only one of those words. to each individual it may mean any one of hundreds upon thousands of different things. everyone has their own personal identity, and while we may use the same word to describe said identity, no two people will have the same definition.

this is true of 'manhood' and 'womanhood' as well. every individual, cis trans both neither intersex perisex and so on and so forth, every single one of them has different PERSONAL interpretations of these words and the concepts they are meant to describe.

but 'woman' has to mean something in order to function as a real concept. it has to have some semblance of shared meaning, shared experience, shared conceptual feeling and vibe, for it to work within the imperial core as a means of systemic control and oppression, for it to work as a communicable identity, and for it to function as a word in a language.

in the same vein of thought, 'binary' is a word we are using to describe someone whose gender, in some way, shape, or form, fits into the schema of 'man and woman'. your internal definition of your own gender does not actually matter very much to other people who do not know it exists.

for me, it matters that i am percieved as a binary gender no matter what i do. it matters, and hurts, a lot. and for some people, it matters and hurts less. for some people, it matters and hurts not at all.

whether you consider yourself binary or not is entirely up to you and how you interpret your own navigation of the world. its very strange to act as if im saying anything otherwise. YOU defined YOURSELF as binary in your responding to me. you said you were also agender, so, like i said in my prev tags, i dont think youre the target audience. but the way youre reacting, it seems you think you are. i am also going to reiterate that 'binary' is not a bad thing to be - binary trans people and for that matter, binary cis people, are not my enemies. but i deserve to have the language to talk about my experiences as they compare to binary people. that's all it is.

[dogbrained-les]

Crap, I might not be as much of a binary woman as I thought I was

[crazyw3irdo]

@vector-field-outpost

oh yeah believe me im very much not into putting labels and strict conditions on irl things, and im all for overpowered shit, i just ask out of curiosity's sake on my part

i always see ppl say they wanna be shapeshifters when there's discussions of superpowers, but idk, to me, i always feel i have to ask followup questions, yknow? cause two people can say they wanna be shapeshifters and both mean entirely different things! and i think its neat to know how many people mean they wanna use those powers for like, animal reasons or humanoid reasons or something.

ppl are free to hit other and say they wanna be a combination, and they're free to not even vote in the first place. but like, if a person would want to be a shapeshifter just to be various humanoid forms and not animal ones, then they wouldn't need to have the animal options.

okay, i think any time anyone asks what superpower we’d like to have most everyone on this website would say shapeshifting but what kind of shapeshifting would you like

type 1- wild shape, you can turn into any animal, real or fictional

type 2- mystique, you can turn into any real person

type 3- cosplay, you can turn into any humanoid fictional character

type 4- jake the dog, you’re super stretchy

type 5- character creator, you can alter your own appearance- like changing voice hair length texture color, changing height and weight, transing gender, etc, but you can’t add anything non-human (ie horns, wings, claws, etc)

type 6- additional features, you can add things like snake eyes, horns, cat ears, tail, claws, wings, mermaid tail, but you remain humanoid overall and can’t change things like height or gender presentation or hair color. you can still change your voice tho

type 7- were-wolf, we all know what a werewolf is, lads. can be any kind of animal. can be straight up wolf or more monstrous wolf form that’s up to you.

type 8- furry, you just become your fursona. or any kind of fursona really you can change between them

type 9- antman, can become small or big

type 10- other, say what kind ya want

[inezrable]

I think the thing that bothers me the most about the pause and potential cancellation of good omens is that I was so excited to see a queer show run to completion. We've seen it before, but almost never with such diverse representation. In good omens, we have

Lesbians

Nonbinary characters (human and otherwise)

Gay men

POCs

Disabled people

People of lots of different body shapes and sizes

And none of that is ever made a big deal. Most of it isn't even mentioned!

"What about Heartstopper?" I hear you ask. As much as I liked it, the show in particular often felt (at least to me) sanitised and watered down for a straight female audience. Good Omens really feels like it's for queer people, and others who dont fit the mold that society has made for us.

So please, I urge you to reach out to @primevideo and tell them to fire Gaiman and resume season 3.

[ohdeerfully]

Hi! Can I request Alastor x NonBinary!Reader? Like how would he react/learn about it?

hii sure thing! heres some headcanons! i struggled to write a decent bit because i honestly dont think he would care (or understand) at all, but i hope you like 'em!

Alastor x Nonbinary!Reader

Alastor x Reader (headcanons)

TW: brief mention of transphobia, but nothing upsetting or graphic join my discord!

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Tbh i dont think Alastor really understands the concept of gender outside of male/female

But he would support you either way

Probably finds out through one of the other hotel residents who correct him on a pronoun

Or he saw you looking at your body in the mirror, upset about something

“Why do you look so critically at yourself?”

You hesitated to tell him at first

I mean, he died in the ‘30s. People who died in the modern age are still super transphobic so you were terrified what he would think

You started with explaining how you felt dysphoric sometimes, like things in your body just didn’t fit

He made an awkward comment about how your figure was great, that you were a beautiful (man/woman)

Then you tried to explain how that was the problem, how you didn’t want to be labeled that way

 If you prefer to look androgynous, he would actually surprisingly understand the idea. Sort of. 

“Ah, like Angel Dust! Not an issue, my dear” obviously referring to the male with feminine features

I mean, kind of. Though you preferred not looking one way or another, you could tell he was trying his best to act like he understood

As an overlord in hell, he’s got much bigger things on his mind than worrying about what gender identity somebody else had. It wasn’t that big of a deal to him

Still, he makes sure those around you respect your identity because he knows it’s important to you. Demons in hell can be unnecessarily cruel, so he will hit them back with equal cruelty, either physically or verbally

Nobody can disrespect his partner like that >:(

Definitely the type to say something like “um excuse me she goes by they/them” 

He tries though

if you changed your name, it wouldn't take him long to catch on and kind of just forget your deadname

it isn't uncommon for people in hell to go by a different name, so this wasn't any different

Affirmations go crazy when he notices you feeling particularly bad about your figure

Though, he usually opts to just take you out to get your mind off of it 

He’s not the best at comfort, but you appreciate the gesture

Rosie has definitely made fun (polite) comments about you and him being a queer couple, though Alastor doesn’t understand these At All

“Huh :D?” is a general response from him

Again, whether or not he fully understands the concept of gender binaries, he would care for you just the same as before

[genderqueerdykes]

someone brought up the concept of going stealth in a trans server and it made me kind of realize a thing I never see people talk about when the concept of ‘stealth privilege’ (not scare quotes just quotes) is mentioned. maybe it is mentioned but i’ve never seen it

I’m nonbinary/multigender. I can’t fucking DO stealth. I’d have to shove myself into the closet and present as a cis [my agab] or transition to looking like a cis [not my agab] (like i have the money for that (i don’t)). The closest I get to that is not mentioning my gender online IDK it just really hit me that if shit hit the fan a lot of nonbinary people would have to suck it up and present as a gender they don’t identify as. And y’know obviously in a case where i’d have to recloset myself or where other nbies would have to, I’d/we’d have way bigger worries than gender presentation and dysphoria but i never really thought about the fact that I don’t have the option to transition and then go stealth mode as someone who wants a very gender-fuck presentation

There isn’t really a point to this it just made me think more about the stuff you always talk about like how multigender people are consistently excluded from trans conversations.

(ALSO YES THERE’S ALL THE OTHER STUFF ABT STEALTH PRIVILEGE LIKE HOW GROUPS OF PEOPLE CANNOT TRANSITION OR STILL WOULDN’T BE SAFE IF GOING STEALTH, ETC ETC. THERE’S ALSO A LOT OF TRANS PEOPLE WHO COULDN’T GO STEALTH AND WOULD HAVE TO RECLOSET IN A SCENARIO WHERE YOU’D NEED TO PRETEND TO BE CIS. NOT IGNORING THAT. JUST. NOT THE POINT I’M BRINGING UP)

it's a tough conversation and while it's good that some people can go stealth, even if it's painful, even if it is presenting as the wrong gender, other trans people struggle to find ways to do that in the first place. some people can fit into the narrow male-female binary and pass as a cisgender person of gender they don't identify as for safety reasons and while it's horrible, it's good to have that there

i can't go stealth, either, it's impossible for me. i'm either gendered as a genderqueer cis guy (everyone in my neighbor thinks i'm a cis man, whenever i bring up that i'm trans theyre shocked). people dont ignore my feminine clothes or make my makeup either. ive tried to pass as a cishet "normal" looking man for a long time and while most strangers in passing didnt catch on a lot of people in my life gave me shit for it

im misgendered constantly, im sexualized for my hips and ass, but people are threatened by my beard and deep voice. i can't pass as a cis woman because of that, or how big and bulky and hairy my body is. but yet when people find out i have a uterus, i'm being constantly gendered as a straight woman instead of being recognized as a gay trans man

i can't even pass as a cis butch lesbian anymore. i'm genderfucked, like you said. there's nothing left to pass as

i don't know how to present in order to look "normal" anymore. i'm intersex. i have literally never been able to figure this out. my body is too masculine for womens clothes, too feminine for mens clothes. im androgynous, a hermaphrodite, theres nothing i can do to stop making people question my gender when they see me.

nobody should have to go stealth but some queer people literally can't, you're right. i think often about how the hell i'm supposed to unqueer myself for "Serious" situations. i can't figure it out

[trias-tiny-time]

Pansexual and questioning (either nb or demigirl either label is fine im still figuring it out)

Happy pride month everyone, here are my flags! What are yours? 💚

[rouge-the-bat]

i really do wonder what ppl who tout the "non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbian think about multigender people. do they EVER consider us? even a tiny bit? bc it certainly doesnt feel like it. it feels like any one of these situations:

they already dont think being multigender is a thing, and say shit like "you can only be a man, a woman, or nonbinary, not all of the above."

they quite literally dont think about how multigender people would work in relation to sexuality. they may claim to support us, but they dont pay attention to or care about the fact our gender identity ISNT just an isolated thing that has no affect or connection to anything else about us.

they look at my gender (genderfluid between woman, man, and many forms of nonbinary, more oftentimes a mix), and say oh well youre PARTIALLY a man in some way so that means you cant be a lesbian! so, basically my man-ness just "taints" me and negates the fact that im also a woman and nonbinary? what about the days where my genderfluidity contains no bit of man at all? can i only be a lesbian SOMETIMES?

they yell about non-men all they want, but see my gender and go, "oh not YOU though :) i mean people who are ONLY a man!" and not realize how that is 1. them not saying at all what they mean in their definition if still SOME men are okay and 2. extremely comes across as misgendering and that they dont see me as Actually a man if im not mono-gendered, regardless of their intention. if you are going to categorize people as "men or non-men" and try to fit me in only one or the other, you are misgendering me no matter what. non-men is not the same thing as non-mono-gendered-men.

and all of this also makes me wonder: what would these people think if they saw me in person, holding hands with my girlfriend?

for context: transmeds would 100% consider me a faker not only bc im genderfluid, use any pronouns (esp neos), and am without dysphoria (for gender anyways), but because theyd think im just cis. im afab with no hormone changes or surgery, nor do i want any (my ideal genitals being a dick or barbie-doll-smooth aside, since i dont care enough to do surgery about it, and any of my other gender ideals would require shapeshifting), i like my big boobs, AND im femme. my fat even adds to my curves. most people would probably read me as only a girl and not think twice about it, esp if im dressing up as femme as i like being at the time.

so, if these people shouting "non-men loving non-men" at those like me all the time ended up seeing me irl, what would they think? would they see im extremely femme and read as a girl while holding hands with my girlfriend (who isnt femme but still is easily read as a girl) and think oh yeah, thats a lesbian right there? because a huge part of me says that they absolutely would have no issue with it

who knows if anyone who swears up and down by the "non-men loving non-men" definition will actually read this, but i REALLY wish more people would actually hear out multigender folks and see how definitions like this are incompatible with us. think about how our identity doesnt exist in a vacuum. realize that plenty of us ARE lesbians no matter what anyone else says, and we do not abide to your """inclusive""" definition that actually doesnt consider our existence at all.

or at least realize identity labels dont have a one-size-fits-all definition in the vastness of queer experiences, that people are going to have definitions for things that are different from yours, and you dont hold the One True Right Definition. realize that definitions are not rules that are placed upon words, theyre explanations for how these words are being used across the world, through time, and vary from person, place, and time. definitions are fluid, not static, and many words have multiple definitions.

[tea-and-secrets]

im ngl dude i think i might be trans?? but heres the problem

i dont want to be a trans boy. the only gender i realized i would actually ever want is to be a cis boy. like the idea of being trans makes me more dysphoric??? i dont know dude

what i want isnt to pass socially or to "pass" in general. i WANT to be a boy born a boy. i want to burn every single memory of my childhood because its too girl. i want to get rid of every single thing in my house because its too girl. im dysphoric when i look at my stuff or my interests and im dysphoric when i hang out with friends who are girls or even friends who are afab because i fit in too well and im dysphoric when i hang out with guys because it makes me feel like what im saying is too girl compared to them

its gotten so bad to the point that the idea of having gender euphoria is dysphoric to me because it makes me feel like i shouldnt need something like gender euphoria to confirm im a man

im jealous of people who are amab REGARDLESS of their gender identity now its like ????? and that makes me hate myself because that feels so wrong and i kind of feel like an asshole??????

i naturally have a pretty androgynous body and ive had minimal problems passing at least as nonbinary for a while now but i still nit pick every single detail that differentiates me from a cis man. my voice is too high im way too short (i cant fix my height now im 5'2 not because of estrogen but because im east asian) my body curves just slightly too weird my genitals are my genitals etc etc etc etc EVEN THOUGH IVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANY DISCOMFORT IN MY BODY UNTIL RECENTLY. i still genuinely think im really hot but its just wrong??????fddjs

i recently saw a post that was like "idk im comfortable being trans and im not trying to say im cis im just what i am" but genuinely i dont think i can be a boy if im not cis. if i actually am trans thats just another world of pain that i dont want to be in.

if i had one ask for god and it wasnt for fixing my chronic pain id honestly ask if i could have a dick and peanits to straight up jork in the strip club

.

[st5lker]

one thing i dont see talked about very often is the casual transmisogyny specific to nonbinary transfems especially those of us who have any kind of masculine presentation/pronouns. like as a bigender person i consider myself both a trans woman and a gay man at the same time in different parts and everyone just kind of sees that and goes "oh so youre not an actual trans woman so being transmisogynistic doesnt matter". and believe me i dont consider myself having it "worse" like im far safer irl than most binary post-transition transfems since i present masculinely irl and I constantly recognize that but when it comes to casual transmisogyny people are transmisogynistic in a very insidious way when youre nonbinary.

like people who would normally be really careful about checking themselves for transmisogyny just throw everything out the window when they realize youre nonbinary. you tell them you consider yourself a woman and a man at the same time, or anything in between, or have any kind of attachment to masculinity, and they immediately mentally categorize you as a man. it doesnt matter how you present, what you say, whether it's online or offline---if you're amab and don't fit the bill of being "woman enough" people online will go "thats a man" end of sentence.

the most painful part is that it comes from everybody. it comes from the cis lesbians that called that amab nonbinary person on tiktok a rapist for saying they liked when bi women primarily attracted to women were into them. it comes from the "femboy" obsessed tme transmascs and nbs who don't take your concerns about their transmisogyny seriously. and rarely, but most hurtfully, it comes from other trans women. anyone else remember when lesbianchemicalplant endlessly harassed a trans girl on here for daring to call her attraction to men gay? I do. I do because I saw it at a vulnerable time in my development and it made me repress myself for years because I thought being gay for men and a trans women were the most mutually exclusive things in the world and daring to say you can connect to both of those will get you labeled a Fake Transfem that's doing it for clout. i STILL get a feeling in the back of my mind that whenever i mention being a transfem after talking abt being a gay man people will be like "dont be ridiculous you're not REALLY transfem".

this of course comes from the fact that trans women are held to an impossibly high standards of femininity. you have to be a Capital W Woman to be taken seriously. meaning, of course, that you have to have long hair and thin shoulders and wear dresses and be skinny and short and attractive and usually white (unless they have a fetish for black women, then you can be black IF you hit the rest of those criteria). no matter what you can't be anything CLOSE to a man. make sure you take hrt and get The Surgery too and throw in some breast implants while you're at it.

if you're not rejecting every single part of you that could at all be associated with masculinity you're not even trying, you're just a man, you're just like all other men, and they don't have to care what you say about how you're treated. that type of transmisogyny is so deeply ingrained in literally everyone and its so depressing. it comes back to haunt ALL transfems but the way nonbinary transfems are treated is a perfect example of it.

[gibbearish]

how would we feel about transcendex

i want. to try and coin a term for transmascs (+ maybe cis women? idk if theyd be interested) with vaginismus whose gender identity therefore feels intrinsically tied to transfemininity. bc i know i cant be the only one whose wires got tied up by that whole situation. and like afaik vaginismus doesnt count as intersex since its not really an "inbetween" thing so much as just An Orifice Not Working As Intended so i dont feel comfortable using that myself but i also like. idk feel like there does need to be a word for it

[our-trans-youth-experience]

i’m having difficulty with my name… so i’m non binary (they/them) and ive been named mushroom since i was about 13 (im turning 17).

but the thing is is that i kind of hate being called mushroom… its just so not respectable. people make fun of me for it and you can’t put it on a resume and it makes me immediately visible as trans to everyone in the vicinity which like being trans is fine but holy shit does it fill me with terror about getting hate crimed because literally everyone knows and to be honest i dont really look at myself and see “mushroom” anymore. i think i maybe was once, but its just not me anymore.

i’ve been trying to look for new names, but none have stuck… and this is the only active blog i can find that takes name idea requests. i do feel somewhat identified to mushroom, so maybe names similar? but real, actual names and not nouns. i’d prefer neutral/masc, no feminine names as they make me dysphoric.

i hope this is okay to ask… i saw somebody else doing it and i have been in desperate need for like… a year 😭. i just didn’t want to deal with it and every time i tried i never ran into a name i liked or that fit… thank you all so much!!!!! <<<333

hey there, honestly Mushroom is such a cool name! (although i get where you're coming from as it does fit into the stereotype of nonbinary people calling themselves nouns). I'd recommend finding a name that sounds similar, but does not out you. Here are some ideas to help you out <3 :

Murphy

Moss

Marshall

Merlin/Merlyn

Max

Misha/Mischa

Mason

Moore

Morgan

Mal/Malcolm/Maldwyn