hey, I didn't want to do this but Im at my wits end. I'm Haney, im disabled physically and mentally, and I need financial help. Recently me and my two friends have been kicked out of the place we've been living at and had to scramble around to find a place that would let us move in. We had no money at the time and we still barely do. We found a flat that let us take our cats and also allowed us to pay some costs like agency fee at a later date to help us. I borrowed 3k PLN from my (also struggling) family to pay the first rent, but we still have to pay 3k deposit to the landlord, and 2.5k to the agency. My paycheck this month was only 2.5k, and girls are struggling with money too, we just don't have enough and I have noone to turn to at this point.
We're around 2k short, not even counting in things like food, and my family is broke, so I have to ask for help. Literally anything will help, because a single dollar is worth quite a lot of PLN. I can do anything in return too: draw, write, help you with homework or projects, teach you polish lang/history, send nsfw content, whatever comes to your mind, just tell me and I'll try my best. I work 10-12h shifts so it might take a while but it'll be done.
I have ppal, and if you're polish ask me for BLIK. I'd appreciate any help and reblogs. Thank you.
"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"
cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!
if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
giving up on going to bed proper tonight i am Not getting everything i need to do done in forty minutes [adjusted for time it took to write this post. 30 minutes]
"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die
im guna use this dumbahh dead blog as a dumping ground for my feelings since less ppl know im on here but genuinely what is the point. like at all. every time sumn genuinely good comes into my life theres either a catch or sumn 2x worse happens after. i was hospitalized earlier this year after my dad died n my life has literally j gotten worse n worse since i got out. i literally do not have a reason to keep living n never had n the only reason i’ve stayed n continue to stay is bcus i dont wanna fuck up the attempt n be in even more pain😭 like yay i got an apartment. now im struggling to find a new job and my mom got fired from hers yesterday. my life is so comically bad its genuinely a joke. n i wish i could tell yall im glad ive made it this long but i’m not
i am going to go to the new time she emailed that she'd adjust at 5pm and then never did anything after that, & if that gets me jumped, then ill. idk. take her job or smthin. use it to boost my resume IDK LOL
literally what the fuck is in the air lately ive had three guys being weird at me within the past three weeks. thats one guy a week. Stop fucking being weird
oh i forgot about my world religions diversity paper . i have to either attend a religious worship of a religion other than my own (no thanks) [THE NO THANKS IS BECAUSE OF MY SOCIAL ANXIETY . /srs] or do an inperson/video call interview with someone of a different religion (i have not spoken to the only people ik irl who arent christian/atheist since like 8th grade . urgh)