#i dont like ANYTHING besides drawing

[fleurie1]

i keep fluctuating between 'i don't need anyone' to 'i can't believe i'm going to die alone and no one will miss me.' i'm basically unapproachable to everyone no matter what i do. all of my online friends are too busy to call me and i can't connect w anyone in person given i dropped out of uni

to make things worse my f/o is controversial. i'm scared of talking ab her to other people in the ficto community given what she did.

oh well. guess i just need to accept i'll be depressed and anxious forever regardless of what i do

[ducktollers]

did a screencap study and ofc tumblr nukes all my lovingly painted textures that differentiate this from the original screencap. so theres close ups under the cut. Oh and this scene always guts me btw

ok byeeee

[revynation]

he's always doing way too much

[tsukasalover]

doodles before i go to sleep

[itslilacmoon]

coolest kid on the block

[gomzdrawfr]

Does Raven and Jelly have MANY interactions with other OCs? (Like one of your friends OCs) I’m curious

Hey there! To date, Jelly have zero, Raven have about 6 only, 3 were within close friends, 3 as a gift for fellow cod artists

I do want to share why xD know that this isn't meant to be harsh or dismissive, just an explanation of where I'm coming from.

Although I am pretty much okay with most thing in COD, I'm however extremely picky about how I portray Raven because of past experiences where her character had been invalidated, misinterpret or forced into dynamics that just don't align with her personality or backstory (eg. being best friends with medic OCs, shoehorn with a group of Shadow company OCs or drawn with set of clothes that's just...well that's just not Raven).

Part of this is of course, on myself. I've developed a specific way I write her but I struggle to fully explain how she works xD I think unlike most COD OCs, the way I've wrote her background made it so she's not really suited to being casually thrown in every situation (like of the primary reason was how she grew up from a highly individualistic PMC so socializing is a whole other shebang to deal with) Her relationship with Price is an exception (because I said so LMAO)

That being said tho, this isn't me saying "hey dont put Raven with your own OC, like ever". OC creation is meant to be fun and one of the best part of having them is to mash it with another, and I welcome any fanarts of her (like wdym you drew my bbg let's get married rn-) hence the Raven fanbox post. I think if anyone have an idea or would like to collaborate about placing Raven with their own OC, I'm more than happy to discuss it, just shoot me an ask first :]

Now Jelly is different to Raven, since I've made her from a more casual background and actually wanted her to be more of a character that more people can relate to, anyone's free to draw her with their OC if they want to :3 she's just a sillay gurl, maybe a bit shy and skiddish but she's bubbly to be around with!

On a lighter note, check out these Raven collab doodles I have :3 (the baby one is my friend's oc's baby)

[abimee]

deeply appreciate everyones support over the years but with the recent thing i want to remind whoever may have been here for a while that no matter how long youve been following me and no matter what you may think, you ultimately dont know me. If you relate to my art/posts thats wonderful and im very happy for that!!!! But just because you relate to my struggles/thoughts/art does not mean you know me intimately, and you dont know who i am or what i have.

I dont say this to alienate people but to remind you that theres always going to be a barrier between us and that we will never truly know each other, and to remember that before you approach me about anything or with the idea that we're friends/you know things about me. For all you know i can be straight up lying to you about anything, and again, i DO NOT say this to create some sort of doubt around me or to alienate people --- i say this to mean that you should not think of me as a friend, or that you know ''me'', purely through some tumblr posts. If you want to be my friend, you have to actually strike up conversation, send a letter to me or something, play ff14 with me, something that's not just staring at my text posts and claiming you've been around since my X days and have sent me Y amount of anon asks so of course we're besties. I have a small group of friends, and I know who they are, and they know who they are, and nobody else.

I will not name or identify this person, and if you go out of your way to look for them I will openly announce you as a harasser for forgoing my explicit confirmation that this person needs to be left alone --- but this past week, I had a confusing but ultimately harmless interaction with an indivitual tumblr follower, that when taken into privacy turned into a deeply invasive conversation, where a document was revealed to me having been written by this person about me, with an illustration of me inside, declaring multiple things about me that were not true, were not appropriate, and made me incredibly uncomfortable and stressed out. What this document was is nobody's business, but it was obviously written during some sort of mental health situation, and included the person invading my privacy regarding my ''alters''/personalities and believing many things about me, including marking me as a ''big brother'' to their ''little brother'', inadvertently implying I will become an ''introverted fascist'', and when I attempted to communicate with them my discomfort and that I wished to end the conversation they had continued to press me and send me strange messages. This was after being privately and publicly threatened as well. They eventually let the conversation end, but without any apology, and continued to @ me publicly as well.

This was, overall, an incredibly uncomfortable experience, and while I wish all the best for this person and what ever mental state they are in that made them do this, I am also allowed to be incredibly mad about it. Being threatened and then claimed to be the person's ''blood nephew'' in the same sentence is not the way to talk to someone, in an altered mental state or not.

But I do not want anything to come of this. I am airing out my discomfort and to show that people are way too comfortable treating me like shit, but if anybody goes out of their way to dig up who this person is and harasses/bothers them about this you are a piece of shit. Leave them alone, just like I asked them to do and have been doing in return. Let them deal with it on their own!

this is not an uncommon occurence, either. Back when I was discovering and dealing with what I now (and have known for years) was a case of delusional multiple personalities, I had complete strangers attempt to ''talk'' to these sides of myself or to ''get them out'' to talk. I, me, Rylan, have personally been pushed aside for these personalities, alongside people feeding into my delusions (with good intentions, but still,) purely because they got too comfortable with the idea of ''knowing'' me. I had been invited into a private discord server between me and two people, where the person (a mutual's) boyfriend broke down before me and started crying about how ''they'll never be as good as an artist'' as me, and I was made to be the target of this this self-destructive breakdown that was this person seeing me as ''above'' them and treating me on a pedestool. I have multiple times had people personally claim me as their friend and then never treat me with any respect, have had someone send me a death threat and harass me because they were a long-time follower who saw me as a friend until I made an off-hand harmless joke about their comfort character, and many more situations where I was placed into an uncomfortable situation purely because someone invaded my space/parasocialized a friendship between us as complete strangers, and then either made it my problem to deal with their low self esteem, or took it out on me when I did not act 100% to their liking.

I have been open with my Bipolar and my other mental disorders in the past because people wanted to know my experience, possibly help themselves consider something, but if being open creates situations like this then I won't do it anymore.

All I ask is some respect. I have been treated like shit since I was a teenager in highschool by complete strangers, and it's not healthy for me nor is it fun to feel like I'm constantly on the verge of having someone use their enjoyment of my art to treat me like some sort of bacteria on a petri dish, or the shit under their boots. I ask you leave me alone, dear god, just let me live and treat me with respect! I know who I am, and I want my privacy! If you want to be friends, you'll have to put actual work into it instead of just reblogging my art. Do not ever think you know anything about me unless I explictly confirm it. And please, dear god, let me rest! I'm tired of always having my privacy invaded! Please just act normal around me!

[poliodeuces]

i started playing genshin again💔💔💔 i stopped playing the game in the middle of the inazuma stuff bc i thought the puzzles were so tedious. but every once in a while i think abt dottore. and then i discovered he's actually in the game ?! my only motivation is dottore bc he's my favourite since the webcomic. i even put him in my cursed hypothetical idol group. he looks and sounds gorgeous in the game but in my heart he's the shark-toothed bastard in the comic. he reminds me of julien de la mettrie, particularly his book 'man a machine,' (it was so controversial he fled deutschland), although ofc. his is if l'homme machine, the mechanisation of the human body, is taken literally w

here's dottore and pantalone. im surprised the game actually made direct references to the roles of these characters in commedia dell'arte w the tiny crumbs of lore saying these two work closely together wwww it makes me giggle

[paradigmrust]

i follow you wherever you go

[seraphidae]

light emeto warning

[sp7]

having lots of thoughts about a npmd pokemon trainer au, so i made teams for the main six :] (headcanons/explanations below the cut!)

i gave all of them basic starters at various evolution levels since i always do that when designing teams for characters,, i think they'd keep their starters!

anyways,

pete has a shiny eelektrik that he stumbled across as a tynamo on complete accident. (he doesn't show anyone it though bc of his whole invisible at school thing, which was also my reasoning behind giving him kecleon)

ted gave pete his rufflet, not realizing how high leveled it had to be to evolve.

richie's prized pokemon is his mawile, which he definitely named asuka. he also values how defensive she is, and will use her against max's team (despite usually losing)

grace's spiritomb and greavard are her two favorite pokemon (not that she'd tell anyone that)..

^^ spiritomb's are said to curse those with bad thoughts and are formed from spirits, and houndstone has an ability that makes it stronger once every other pokemon on the team dies.. i thought both of those were pretty fitting for her.

i didn't want to give max a fully evolved team, but i did give him a team of basically all later-to-be meta mons since i think he'd probably take battling way too seriously.

i think steph would have a fondness for dark/ghost types, since a lot of them are just misunderstood. i also gave her a rotom because she cherishes her phone above all else (/j)

she hates battling and would much rather just care for her pokemon instead of subjecting them against other's. (she is very vocal about this to max, but he could care less)

ruth's team is almost entirely just vibes for me, besides her starter and eevee.

^^ primarina is a performer (an opera singer specifically), and i think that her having a pokemon that performs is just a nice touch :) with eevee, there are practically endless possibilities for what an eevee can become, so giving her one seemed like an easy choice.

[coridallasmultipass]

Finally got around to buying the Nikke profile stickers I want since I keep drawing dupes! Bought all the Bow Wow Paradise ones!! It was one of my fave events bc I love dogs and dog girls and Happy Zoo and ESPECIALLY Biscuit so much. As you can see, I got all the 'dog' girls as my showcase team, too, lol:

Also, as an aside, I just got a new personal record in Overclock at level 16!! Which is why I remembered I needed to edit my profile when I went to check if it changed to 16 (I think I was at 12 maybe last time they ran Overclock in the Simulation Room).

[bmpmp3]

some fashion dreamer adventures from playing too much in the past two days :) (MY USER ID IS LGXwM6wQk5 FEEL FREE TO request stuff or whatever u do in this game i forgor) :

(ignore shocked shane this aint about him) made my OC dave as my first muse so i am kinda playing hard mode with the type b body situation but im like. determined now. im gonna make the flashiest and cutest and over the top outfits i can muster with the scraps theyve given the the type b (jk jk its not TOO bad its the best we've gotten so far but I do wish i could wear shorter shorts and crop tops and some of those type a socks are so cute i saw some that were like bandage thigh highs. dave should be allowed to wear thigh highs. dave should be allowed to wear thigh highs)

still having a lot of fun tho! sometime i should get around to making a type a muse but most people i meet are type a so i never run out of people to dress either way LOL

like most people i have things i hope they add in the future (like i said before, the lack of zoom is DIRE) and right now some of the currencies and levelling systems feel a little unbalanced (i have so many of the star things and bingo things and a decent amount of gacha things but the photo prop coins are my most coveted thing rn i have like 1 single one JKDLSJFDS) but im enjoying myself a lot like i knew i would

was trying to take a pic of this other player's muse that had this really neat witch situation but i accidentally made dave dab and got really scared <3

in the end we must all go to the photo egg. in the end we all go into the photo egg. the universality of the photo egg.

kinda wacky from daylight savings time changes i always get wacky i dont know what year or time it is. i spent twenty minutes scouring the ACT cocoon for the showroom stream 'cause i couldnt find it until i accidentally went into this like. basement alley. its in the basement alley <3 <3 <3

i guess we dont just go into the egg. we also. go into the. cocoons. the cocoons. in eve? cocoons in eve have. eggs in them

anyway i just unlocked cocoon FUN and its so awesome and scary and so so scary look at this bear

free this bear somebody please free this bear ignore dave posing free this bear cocoon fun has bears behind bars and gazebos that raise you into heaven its so scary and awesome

going back to the photo props my favourites so far are the flowers theyre so cute

i dont do the vertical photos that often because theyre kinda hard to do (u have to like. turn ur head or the switch to the side..... im nearly exclusively a tabletop switch player so i cant imagine what its like for docked player LOL) but this ones cute!

but yeah very fun and extremely addicting i need to go to bed. i need to go to bed. i have assignments and i need to go to bed. but i want. to make outfits..........i must.....make outfits......graaaaahhh........GRAAAAAHHHHHH (turns into a zombie before your eyes)

[br1ghtestlight]

grabs transfem rudy fanart from five years ago. mine now

[aria0fgold]

Gotta love how my gallery looks so messy when the artblock started creeping in like, there's horror art, sketch, sketch, sketch, sketch, sketch, sketch, sketch, and then suddenly a full on proper drawing of my dearest son Alec with a mermaid form.

You can see the three sketch attempts I was desperately tryna do for Mermaid Alec until I managed to settle on something finally.

[anzuhan]

It's a weird request, and you can totally ignore it, but... Would you please draw Hilling Care and enstars' Tomoe Hiyori together?

no way, i wouldve totally wanted to draw this too honestly 😭 i'll suppose you may not know this, but i was an enst artist (cc oct 2022-mar 2023); my enst art backlog is very, very long (and both catgirl sona designs i use a lot again now originate from that time!) i dont want to focus on it anymore, but i was thinking of this idea too since i got into g00 & the innovators !! theyre so alike.. theyd be friends .. hiri & hiyori ...

also i did draw ribbons & shu itsuki back on my bday :) ribbons is very much my favorite now & if i had to choose a still fav from enst itd also be shu. COUGH