#i doubt anyone will make anything with this and its just fulfilling my little niche but. if anyone draws this or whatevs... please tag me

[unvexes]

having lots of thoughts about a npmd pokemon trainer au, so i made teams for the main six :] (headcanons/explanations below the cut!)

i gave all of them basic starters at various evolution levels since i always do that when designing teams for characters,, i think they'd keep their starters!

anyways,

pete has a shiny eelektrik that he stumbled across as a tynamo on complete accident. (he doesn't show anyone it though bc of his whole invisible at school thing, which was also my reasoning behind giving him kecleon)

ted gave pete his rufflet, not realizing how high leveled it had to be to evolve.

richie's prized pokemon is his mawile, which he definitely named asuka. he also values how defensive she is, and will use her against max's team (despite usually losing)

grace's spiritomb and greavard are her two favorite pokemon (not that she'd tell anyone that)..

^^ spiritomb's are said to curse those with bad thoughts and are formed from spirits, and houndstone has an ability that makes it stronger once every other pokemon on the team dies.. i thought both of those were pretty fitting for her.

i didn't want to give max a fully evolved team, but i did give him a team of basically all later-to-be meta mons since i think he'd probably take battling way too seriously.

i think steph would have a fondness for dark/ghost types, since a lot of them are just misunderstood. i also gave her a rotom because she cherishes her phone above all else (/j)

she hates battling and would much rather just care for her pokemon instead of subjecting them against other's. (she is very vocal about this to max, but he could care less)

ruth's team is almost entirely just vibes for me, besides her starter and eevee.

^^ primarina is a performer (an opera singer specifically), and i think that her having a pokemon that performs is just a nice touch :) with eevee, there are practically endless possibilities for what an eevee can become, so giving her one seemed like an easy choice.

[akvtsuki-ari]

Sweetheart (Ch.1)

Warnings: Mentions of BDSM and bunch of other kinks but nothing sexual in this chapter lol. Sub!Spencer and Femdom!Reader 

Length: 5.3k 

Authors Note: this is hands down the most self-indulgent shit ive ever wrote but do i care? the answer is no dsjk  but this that series i had planned where the reader introduces spencer to proper BDSM and all that. hoping to make this fic kinda informative also lol. also im uploading this fic on ao3 as well. also no tags for this fic bc its really specific and ill probably be writing for it for a while! sorry about that

Plot Summary: Spencer Reid just wanted to be.., well, you know. He doesn’t expect to find much when he signs up for a BDSM dating website but somehow he manages you and he couldn’t be more delighted

Spencer Reid was certainly a lot of things. He was a lover of the arts, someone who had a particular affinity for 15th-century literature, a magician at best, a theater nerd at worst, and a teacher when life called for it. He loves the world even when it's really dark and he loves sleeping in even more. He loves his friends and they love him too - even when they pretend that his random facts annoy them. Spencer Reid was a friend, an FBI agent, a genius with an IQ of 187, and a son to a mother he loves wholly. He was a lot of things and for the most part - he knew a lot about what he really loved to do. He supposed that it's been like that his whole life.

It's not everyday that he discovers something new about himself. About everything else? Always. He loves to learn, but about himself? There's never all that much on the frontier.

It's hard to say, because of that, when Spencer discovered he was a sub. It's difficult to pinpoint a specific time and place, or even how the pieces got put together. He just remembers how it felt when it hit him, like a freight train going 100 miles an hour into a concrete wall. Or a plane crashing onto an island. Or like a fly hitting the glass panes of a delivery truck. He remembers the feeling when he was deftly reminded of this fact. Spencer Reid was a sub - through and through and he wasn't really sure what to make of it.

Surprisingly to most of his direct peers, Spencer wasn't a virgin. He'd had sex with 2 people who he'd been kinda friends with at some point, but it always got a little weird after that. The second time though, the girl ended up choking him a little bit when she got off and Spencer thought he had died. Not in a bad way, more in a "I'm so turned on by this I feel like I've genuinely gone to heaven," sort of way. He didn't think it was possible for a sexual encounter to make him feel like that but it did. It didn't stop after that either, which was the most agitating part. 

Spencer doesn't consider himself a sexual person. Sex is about intimacy and companionship, and hopefully love when he finds that someday. Sex isn't necessarily about pleasure but that wasn't an easy lesson to learn.

Spencer just wanted to understand - so like any great genius he participated in thought experiments. It's normally a female superhero/supervillain that crosses his mind (he has an affinity for Poison Ivy), and he just kinda imagines what it would be like if they did what she did. The choking turned him on, but it wasn't enough. Through that, he figures out that he had more than a choking kink and that he was more than a little interested in a partner having complete access to him. He thought about it for weeks and the getting off was working for him but he couldn't get the fantasy out of his head. He wanted more - he wanted someone to fulfill his wishes.

It was too much for him to ignore. Those months of being able to hold off through masturbating are over and he's just sorta itching. Aching to act on those impulses with another person who can give him what he needs, and he doesn't want it to be transactional. Maybe it's too ideal to want a partner out of such an endeavor but was it so wrong? To want real affection and romance from someone who could also overpower him wasn't a crime and he'd be damned if he pretended to want any less. Spencer was just searching, even if it was rather desperately. 

So, when Spencer finds himself on a BDSM dating site and he feels like his life is in shambles, he can only blame himself. It's not something he'd normally do but he's getting a little more than relentless about it but he also just wants to see what's out there. He's so out of it was it happens, it felt like he was being possessed as he made a fake email and wrote out his account information. Definitely blaming it on possession, he thinks. 

It's too late to go back, as he scrolls through tons of profiles of rather intense looking people. He's not surprised, this is where people go to express themselves. They're entitled to that, it just sucks since he's just not ready for such levels of intensity. He wonders if he's in too deep yet, but he figures he'd hit that mark a long time ago and keeps scrolling through profiles. There wasn't much to go off of, many people not choosing to use photos for the sake of anonymity, which was good for Spencer. He clicks onto his own profile, reading his own bio carefully.

USERNAME: DOC187 

SUB/ SWITCH / DOM 

M / F / O

FETISHES: N/A

BIO: Interest in a dominant female companion. Completely inexperienced.

Spencer feels ridiculous, but he doubts anyone would even message him. He doesn't have much on his profile and he keeps things short for that purpose. He wanted to stay as low to the ground as possible - more curious to explore what was going in the world than to find anything legitimate. He scrolls through hundreds of profiles, mostly of people who were BDSM vets looking for new connections or fun. Some people catch his eye but they don't match his interests so he doesn't bother.

Except, one profile. The bio was beyond interesting to Spencer.

USERNAME: MISS—LILAC

SUB / SWITCH / DOM 

M / F / O 

FETISHES: Sadomasochist, Degradation, Humiliation, Pegging, Overstimulation, Edging, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Mutual Masturbation, Dacryphilia, Shibari/Gags/Bondage, Wax Play, Impact Play, Breath Play, General Sensation Play, Discipline, Collaring, Begging. Willing to try most things. 

BIO: Interested in submissive males of any experience level. Helps if you're interesting and like to read and watch indie films. Looking for genuine connection and plenty of good banter. Curly hair is nice too. lol.

Before Spencer can think about it for too long his mouse clicks over that stupid little message button next to your profile. Spencer shakes his head at his own existence as he types you a message. Says you're online right now, but Spencer's sure he won't get a response for a while.

DOC187: Seems I fit who you're interested in. I even have the curly hair.

Spencer chews on his nails anxiously before he sighs at himself. He has no clue what's gotten into him belle before he can think he sees your 3-dotted bubble pop up. He feels his body wracked with nerves.

MISS—LILAC: I'm guessing you like to read and watch indie films too?

Spencer smiles. You seem interesting and the fact that the two of you were just talking normal was making Spencer happy.

DOC187: Indeed. I'm a sucker for 15-century literature and anything in Russian and foreign language. You?

MISS—LILAC: 15th century huh? I'll assume Chaucer. And Russian? You're interesting, doc. I'm more modern and English, hope you're not deterred.

Spencer smiles, surprised that you recognize an author as niche as Chaucer. He shakes his head at your commentary. He almost forgets that both of you are on a BDSM dating site and the irony doesn't escape him.

DOC187: Deterred? Never. I think you're rather interesting too, Miss Lilac.

MISS—LILAC: Ever the gentleman doc. I'm hoping you won't run away if I ask you more personal questions.

Spencer swallows. He types back quickly.

DOC187: What kinds of questions?

MISS—LILAC: If it's okay, you're real name and what you do. My names Y/N, and I'm a florist. I live in DC and I love romance novels.

Spencer smiles. He appreciates you laying down the path for him, knowing the stakes.

DOC187: My names Spencer and I work for the FBI. I also live in DC, and I love magic.

MISS—LILAC: Magic? I'd love for you to show me sometime.

Spencer swallows. Part of him feels like it's a stupid idea to ask you out so early but if you asked, he'd likely say yes. He decides to wait it out.

DOC187: I'd be more than happy to show you.

MISS—LILAC: I suppose you could send me a video but that's not the same as seeing the magic in real life, now is it?

Spencer is smiling like an idiot at this point. He shakes his head a little, jittery.

DOC187: Infinitely better live, I would say.

MISS—LILAC: Seems like I've found an excuse to ask you on a date then. Saturday's work for me but I'm sure it depends on you, FBI man. Before that, I'm gonna drop my number and I'll be expecting your call. (XXX-XXX-XXXX)

Spencer giggles. It's a little out of range for things he's used to doing, giggling aloud for someone else is certainly new. Spencer picks up his phone and dials away, anxious to call you but excited nonetheless. He heard you pick up the phone and his heart catches in his throat.

"Hello?," Your voice is smooth, and a little bit lower than he was expecting. It sounds pretty.

"Hello, Y/N," Spencer says back. He heard you laugh on the other side and can't help the way his heart flutters.

"Lovely to talk to you doc,"

"Still Doc? Not Spencer?" Spencer questions. You smile on the other side of the line.

"Doc seems to fit you. But, for the sake of formality, hello Spencer,"

"I like Doc too, but it feels like I should have a nickname for you as well. Only seems fair," Spencer says laughing quietly.

"If it's your prerogative you can call me Miss Lilac, or just Miss but..." you trail off for a minute. Spencer squints.

"Miss is a title, you know? Doesn't seem fair for you to call me that when I haven't earned it from you yet. I'm sure we'll get there but for now you can just call me Y/N," you say softly. Spencer blushes bright red, his voice betraying him as he speaks.

"O-Oh, well um - where does the name Lilac come from? Normally people go with their names when it comes to stuff like that," Spencer says shyly. He heard you laugh on the other side of the phone and blushes again, grateful you can't see him.

"I love the language of flowers and flowers themselves. It's a way to speak that not many people know - but I like the meaning and look of lilacs. White lilacs represent purity, so that was a bit of irony, but light purple lilacs mean first love," you say carefully.

"First love?," Spencer asks. You bite your lip for a moment.

"I joke that BDSM is my first love since it's such a big part of my life. Not as big as some but not small for certain. It gave me much needed confidence so I joke that it was my first," You say lightly. You hear Spencer giggle on the other side and you smile.

"What about your username? Any significance to DOC187 that I should know of?," you readjust your seat on your couch as you talk. Spencer grows a bit embarrassed.

"I normally introduce myself as Doctor Spencer Reid for work, not a medical doctor but I have three PhD's," Spencer admits. You raise your brows but hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Very, very impressive doc. What about the 187? It could be a plain ol' number but my guess would be otherwise,"

"That's my IQ, actually. I don't think intelligence can be boiled down and quantified like that but I couldn't think of anything else," Spencer explains.

"So you're a certified genius with 3 PhD's? To say I'm impressed is an understatement. Anything else impressive you'd like to tell me before I totally pick your brains," you say a little shocked.

"You wanna pick my brains?," Spencer asks. You wanna laugh at the irony of such a silly question from such an intelligent man but you refrain.

"Who wouldn't?," you say incredulously. Spencer smiles shyly.

"The only other thing is that I can read 20,000 words per minute," Spencer says trying to deflect. Your jaw dropped before but it manages to unhinge a little further.

"There's a lot to get to know about you Doctor Reid,"

"I'm sure it's the same for you," Spencer replies.

"Guess we'll have to find out won't we?," you say smiling.

Damn, Spencer got lucky. Hopefully he'd get to find out soon

_____

"Reid, are you listening?," Derek's voice snaps Spencer out of his entranced state. His smiling expression snaps up to look at Derek who looks a little exasperated.

"Sorry, what was that?," Spencer asks back. Derek puts down the case file they were working on. They had just finished a case and needed to complete some paperwork before submitting it for review and to be used in court. The job was given to him and Morgan and Spencer was evidently distracted.

"Alright, kid - what is up with you? All case you've been checking your phone non-stop and spacing out, all smiles and giggles. C'mon now kid, seriously. You got a little lady at home waiting for you or is there something else I don't know about?," Derek interrogates. Spencer doesn't really know what to make of it, though it's not really in his interest to hide you, it hasn't really come up with anyone on the team yet so it was proving difficult to decide what to do. The smile on his face manages to appear again as he starts to think about you, the tips of his ears red.

"Reid," Morgan says again, with a small look of irritation.

"Her names Y/N," Spencer blurts out faster than he can't think. Derek gives him a huge grin, holding his hand out to dap Spencer up. Spencer just looks at it confused for a second before getting the memo.

"'My man," Derek says chuckling. Before Spencer can continue Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia walk in. Hotch is the only one missing, and Spencer's a little grateful.

"What are we celebrating in here you guys?," Prentiss asks first. Spencer goes to say something to move away from his sudden confession but Derek is quick to cut him off.

"Our boy genius over here got him a little lady," Derek announces. The whole team erupts in questions and Spencer wants to bury himself.

"Congratulations, Spencer!! How long have you two been dating?," Prentiss asks.

"You guys are so dramatic. It's only been two months but no first date because well..." Spencer trails off. JJ just nods her head.

"Duty calls, I'm guessing" JJ finishes. Spencer nods deflated hearing Emily draw a breath between her teeth.

"That's tough, Spence,"

Just as Spencer goes to give a response back he gets a text from you that makes his day a little better. It's a selfie of you at work, a picture your employee must've taken of you in a room full of new flower deliveries. You're giving Spencer a toothy grin as you hold a bunch of gardenias in your hand.

Y/N 🌸: *image attachment* 

Gardenias// You're lovely + Secret Love <33

Spencer cannot control the way his whole face bunches up in a smile, as if there's no one else in the room with him. Everyone just looks at him surprised, Garcia giving him a side-eye.

"How can you guys trust this stranger? We don't even know who she is! I haven't even run any background checks on her," Garcia complains. Prentiss nudges her side.

"I don't know if it matters - look at how hard he's smiling over there," Prentiss says. Garcia reluctantly looks and can't help but sigh.

"Okay well he seems really happy but still! We don't even know her," she pouts.

"I'm sure we'll meet her soon," JJ snickers at Spencer's lovestruck expression. Derek leans over Spencer's shoulder and raises his brows.

"Is that her, kid?," Derek asks. Spencer nods, simply staring at the picture you sent. Derek whistles when he sees you - you're genuinely stunning and he's surprised to say the least.

"Hot mama, pretty boy - how'd you manage that?," Derek asks, dumbfounded. Emily rolls her eyes.

"C'mon Derek, I'm sure - oh wow," Emily leans over Spencer's shoulder to see you and is met with the same reaction. JJ and Garcia are quick to follow thereafter, both looking equally as surprised.

"She's..." JJ trails off. The rest of the team just nods as Spencer grins ear to ear.

Spencer 🐻: Beautiful, as always.

Spencer ignores the rest of the team as they look at each other in disbelief.

Y/N🌸: Me or the flowers, Doc?

Spencer🐻: Both, but mostly you.

"Wow, Spencer you're really -" Prentiss starts

"You're whipped, kid. I mean seriously whipped," Derek finishes, nodding in agreement. JJ can't help but smile, giving Spencer a small pat on the back.

"She seems lovely, Spencer. How'd you two meet?," JJ says. Garcia stands around looking rather suspicious. A blush creeps onto Spencer's neck as he's reminded of how you two met.

"Online," Spencer says shortly. No one decides to question it, and Spencer thanks every god he can think of.

"Have you two FaceTimed yet? How can we know she's not, I don't know - catfishing you? Or scamming you in some other cyber criminal way?," Garcia sounds distressed. Spencer gives a small smile.

"We fall asleep over FaceTime every night," Spencer admits. Penelope's expression falls, and Prentiss gives a smile.

"That is disgustingly cute," JJ says laughing.

"Okay, well - I'm still running a background check on her," Garcia says stubbornly "But, I'm happy for you,"

"Thanks Garcia," Spencer mumbles out as he texts you again.

Y/N🌸: I wanna see you, love

Spencer blushes red as he reads your message. The word love makes his whole face hot.

Spencer🐻: I can't take a selfie for my life

Y/N🌸: You're with your team aren't you? Get them to take a picture of you.

Spencer wants to fold away, not ever really being the picture type, but how could he ever deny you.

Spencer🐻: How could I ever say no to you?

"Hey guys, can one of you take a picture of me for Y/N?" Spencer asks embarrassingly red. The whole team sends him a look of surprise.

"I'll take it Spence, try not to look as uncomfortable as you do right now," JJ says. The whole team refrains from laughing as Spencer gives an awkward smile. He thanks JJ who hands him back his phone before texting you again.

Spencer🐻: *image attachment* You owe me one

Y/N🌸: you're stunning as always. hadn't seen you in so long I almost forgot what you looked like.

Spencer🐻: stunnings an interesting choice of words.

Y/N🌸: I said what I said, doc. 

Spencer can't help but do a little giggle, that causes the whole team to give him a look. Morgan just shakes his head, shrugging. Emily, JJ, and Garcia just look at each other before the room draws into a subtle but comfortable silence as Spencer just smiles, totally unaware of how whipped he happened to look. He didn’t seem to mind either way. 

___

"How was work?," Spencer asks over the phone, kicking his shoes off as he looks into his fridge for something to eat. He hears you sigh on the other side of the line.

"Busy today - wedding season is coming up so tons of calls for centerpiece designs and costs. It's going well though, business couldn't be better," you say, clearly tired yet content. Spencer gives a small smile and feels relieved that things are going okay for you.

"That's really good. I'm glad you're feeling alright," Spencer replies. You ease into the couch as you talk to Spencer, relaxing by the second. 

"What about you, FBI man? You have an okay day?," Your voice is full of a gentle concern that Spencer appreciates.

"Yeah, just paperwork and JJ said that we shouldn't have any upcoming cases this week to be worried about so I have the weekend off," Spencer says without thought.

"Have any special plans for the weekend?," you say cheekily. Spencer, still not having caught on, shakes his head for a second.

"No, why?,"

"Hm... well - would you like to go on a date with me then Doctor Reid?," You ask, giggling. Spencer's eyes widen in realization as he facepalms for a moment.

"Wow, I didn't even think... yes - yes I would love to go on a date with you Y/N," Spencer says laughing at his own misfortune. You shake your head instinctively, but the growing smile and even further growing adoration makes it hard to sit still.

"Hey, Spencer," you say, butterflies filling your stomach.

"Yeah?"

"I really like you,"

____

Saturday comes quicker than Spencer can really understand. You told him not to worry about what the days plans would be but he can't help it. Anxiously awaiting you in front of the cafe that the two of you were supposed to meet at, in a part of town Spencer hasn't really seen before. You said that you'd lead the way and the irony isn't lost on him.

"Spencer?," Your voice is small, as you call out to what you think is Spencer Reid. Of course, you'd seen him before but to see him in person like this was still so unfamiliar. His head shoots up, eyes searching for you. He's delighted to have found you, certainly that was true as he walks towards you. Your arms envelop him in a friendly hug and he can't help but find himself sinking into. You smelled sweet, like fruit and flowers (which makes sense, the more he thinks about it)

"Lovely to finally meet you, Y/N,"

"Same goes for you, doc. Would you like to be informed of our plans for the day, or do you prefer the element of surprise?,"  You ask smiling. Spencer laughs at your question.

"Details would be appreciated, but I get the feeling you're not gonna give me those."

"You're right! It's a trick question, since it's a surprise. But, promise it'll be good,"

"I'll take your word for it then," Spencer says with a small smile. You hold your hand out for Spencer which he accepts, locking his hands with yours. The affection makes him feel full of warmth, as you lead him away for the day you had planned for the both of you.

___

Spencer underestimated how well you knew him. He really, really did. It's hard to explain since Spencers been on a date before but this was so profoundly different. He's a little touched, but beyond that he's just.. surprised? Every date he'd been on before this, he'd have to play the gentleman but it never seemed like the other person was interested in just him. It was always casual small-talk over dinner, or a mid-day coffee date or something else that just felt mundane but this was beyond Spencer's imagination.

The first place you took him was a bookstore - which was in Spencers mind already a winner for best date he'd ever been on. You walked inside with him and told him he had to pick up a book for you and you had to pick up a book for him and to say his heart absolutely fluttered would be an understatement. He picked up up a copy of "The Screwtape Tales," by C.S. Lewis for you, and you gave him a copy of Shel Silverstein's "Where The Sidewalk Ends." For you, you got a glimpse to see what Spencer's sense of humor was and you gave Spencer a piece of your childhood. Both equal but opposite forms of intimacy. The only thing was Spencer had to wait to read his book because it's relatively shorter than yours and he reads 20,000 words per minute.

The next place you took Spencer was an indoor butterfly garden. Does he have to explain why that's a good date? He heard you talk about all the scientific names for the different flowers and why they attract butterflies and he wasn't sure he could crush any harder on you if he tried. A particular moment sticks out to him on which a butterfly landed on your shoulders and just stayed there like it didn't want to leave. Spencer's eyes were fixated on it the whole time - and he had never wanted to be a butterfly in his life before but he figures there's a first time for everything.

The last place, where the both of you were at now was just a small coffee shop, locally owned and supported by the community here. You told Spencer that when you started up your shop, you'd come in here to work on big orders before you'd expanded enough to have employees. Spencer admires your work ethic, much more than he could ever anticipate as he sits down at a small booth, totally covering the both of you as you return to the table with a little plate of banana bread and two iced coffees. Spencer pouts as he looks up at you, watching you flash him a grin.

"I could've helped you carry this over," Spencer complains gently. You roll your eyes.

"Maybe next time doc," you say softly. You hold back your commentary often on the date, and Spencer pretends not to notice for your sake but he'd be lying if he said he didn't wanna know. You always had something sly to say but you'd kept it from him so many times now he figures it's better if he didn't ask.

Spencer looks at you as you push a plate of banana bread towards him. He looks at you with curious eyes before reading your clearly excited face and laughs. He picks up a piece and examines it, before taking a bite. If it tasted as good as it smelled then he would be more than obliged.

The involuntary moan that escapes Spencer's throat makes you choke with laughter. Shit, you weren't kidding when you said this was the best banana bread in the city. Spencer just looks up at you like he's about to cry with joy as you double over in giggles.

"I know," You say softly, taking a bite yourself eyes filling with joy "I ordered some more for us to take home - you're welcome," you say with confidence. Spencer smiles because that is genuinely thoughtful, but it was more endearing to see you pretend it wasn't. He just shakes his head, a blush arising to his face as he looks at you. You're staring at him with intent. He quirks his brow at you in question.

"I had a good time today, Spencer" You say warmly. You only called him Spencer when you were saying something affectionate and a bit serious. He gives you a toothy smile.

"I haven't been on very many dates, but this was easily the best one I'd ever been on," Spencer says honestly. You grin ear to ear, hands carefully holding Spencer across the table, running your thumb over his knuckles for a few seconds. You couldn't say for sure whether it was too soon to ask him to be your boyfriend, but you'd be damned if you said it didn't cross your mind.

Spencer was mind-numbingly unaware of what good boyfriend material he was, but beyond that - what good submissive boyfriend material he was. It was driving you nuts, but you knew this was all new for him and you didn't wanna freak him out. Even when guys say they're interested in being submissive, they're still often times uncomfortable with you being fully dominant. Dominant in public and in bed, if you will. You wanted to pay for dates, and buy him flowers, and make him feel special too - at least on the occasion. That role came naturally to you, that let me make you feel owned type affection that only a dominant person can give. It scared men off - out of relationships, and you totally got why - but you liked Spencer too much as a person to risk iit.

Spencer holds your hands together, gathering your attention. You looked at him spaced out and he gives you a look of concern.

"You okay?," Spencer asks. You nod, chewing your lip in debate of whether or not you should express your concerns. Spencer just tugs on your hand and looks at you intently.

You sigh, looking at Spencer softly.

"I'm okay I just really like you," you say a little exasperated. Spencer laughs but is filled with relief.

"I'm glad to hear that. What else is on your mind?,"

"I really like you - like in an, I want you to officially by my boyfriend way and I hope it's not too soon but I'm just, worried I guess," you say nervously. Spencer can't help the way his heart beats in his chest when he hears you say boyfriend. God did he want to be your boyfriend.

"What're you worried about?,"

"I'm worried about freaking you out. I can be a lot since I'm... you know?," You say nervously. Spencer looks at you  to continue.

"I'm more than just dominant in bed, and for a lot of guys it's not their thing and that's their right but I like you so much. I really don't want that to happen if I ask you out now and you realize that it's not for you," you say in clear upset.

Spencer looks at you in disbelief. You were worried that he was gonna freak out over that? That you were too dominant for him? It feels like such a silly concern but the expression on your face tells him you're speaking from experience.

"I mean, it's all kinda new to me but, well - I do like how you treat me? It's a nice change, I can't imagine myself getting tired of it, or of you. I really like you too," Spencer tried his best to reassure you without totally embarrassing you. You smiles at Spencer but your face is still full of doubt.

"If that ever changes, I'll tell you but I'd really like to call you my girlfriend," Spencer finishes. You can't help the warmth that spreads in your stomach at the offer. You just nod, looking up at him. You stand and walk to Spencer's side of the booth, sliding in next to him, leaning your head into his shoulder for a few while seconds. You sit back up, and Spencer turns to you.

"Hey, doc," you say softly. Spencer hums in acknowledgement.

"Can I kiss you?," you ask softly. Spencer chews his lip and nods, looking down at your lip. You're wearing lipgloss and it makes them look pretty - you are so pretty to Spencer.

Kisses are their own language, Spencer figures. The way someone kisses you can tell you a lot about who they are - so, when you put your hands on the side of Spencer's face, pulling him closer to you with such care and adoration - Spencer can feel what you were referencing earlier. The word Miss rings out in his mind, the way you pay attention to him with your hands. He feels your lips press against his, slowly gliding your fingers in his hair, thumb brushing agains the side of his cheek. Your other hand rested on his inner thigh and he has to think about anything other than that not to get hard. Spencer didn't get how much he'd been thinking about touching you until you'd do with no hesitation and he lets out a small whine. You pull back and Spencer has to catch his breath.

His lashes blink up at you and you're absolutely beaming.

"You're cute baby,"

Baby? Spencer wants to cover his face when you say it. You kiss him again and he can't help but feel flush.

You were Spencer's girlfriend and then some and he couldn't be more happy.

[savvyblunders]

Personal Post: Imposter Syndrome, Reading Traditional Books, and thoughts about my own writing

{Just rambles regarding books, fanfiction and some of my thoughts therein.}

It’s been a terribly long time since I read any published books--aside from those written by fellow fanfiction authors. It has reached the point that I find them entirely too cringey. The plots are tame, the characters stiff, the language rote. I especially have a hard time caring if there is a supposed ‘romance’ involved. Forget about het romances, they’re so formulaic that they leave me cold. It isn’t that I have no interest in the portrayal of a relationship between a woman and man, it’s that by and large they might as well have been churned off of a factory production line. 

Part of my objection is to the tired old tropes and gender roles which authors (and readers) don’t seem to realize they’re not only falling prey to, but encouraging with their work. The world doesn’t have to be turned on its head to be interesting, but you shouldn’t know from the first few scenes between characters how it will play out--and further more, not care.

I did read a rather good psychological mystery a few days ago, however. I think perhaps it was successful in part because it was so different from the usual run of stories that people publish, but also because there wasn’t a romance shoe-horned into the storyline. The narrator wasn’t particularly sympathetic, but nor were they entirely unredeemed. I don’t want to give too much away, but it explored the themes of bullying, memory, redemption and revenge, with an enjoyable twist that I didn’t see coming--I was successfully led astray by red herrings, which isn’t always the case when I’m reading mysteries. The book, should anyone be interested, was Girl Gone Mad by Avery Bishop.

{I keep on rambling after the break ;)}

I also read another which was such a stinker I deleted it from my Kindle history and couldn’t tell you the title or author. This beauty had a somewhat interesting premise of a woman who wakes from a six month coma with full amnesia and throughout the book has to struggle with not remembering anything and depending on her husband, children and neighbors for the details of her life. Frustratingly, she finds parts of her personality and tastes have changed--at least as far as they all tell her. She begins to doubt that she is who they say--an issue further compounded when certain facets of her life pre-coma are revealed. Then when the ending arrives, there is a twist and a reveal which could have been pretty neat, only it arrived at the end of such a rote story, with such clunky storytelling and unimaginative language that I kind of didn’t care. It was clear, I might add, that the female protagonist was written by a man. Although blessedly he didn’t go into raptures over her perky breasts, long hair, or other physical attributes [insert vomiting]

My reading resulted in a two-fold feeling. One, traditionally published books are by and large crap. A few months ago I tried reading a book from a famous author whom I used to be quite a fan of. It was part of a series with which I used to be enamored. I settled in, expecting a very enjoyable read. After slogging through three chapters I gave it up. The writing was generic, the characters shallow and the ‘bad guy’ was so sketchily written as to be bewildering, not mysterious. 

That book left me frustrated and annoyed. But it also revealed something to me which I had somewhat accepted and understood prior to that, but not entirely absorbed. Just because a book is traditionally published doesn’t mean it’s any good. Just because an author is well known--or even on the best seller list--doesn’t mean they can write. There are more places to find interesting, funny, heartbreaking, sexy, fun, amazingly written, daring and wonderful stories than at a bookstore or through Kindle. 

The second part of my two-fold feeling was that while, as a writer, I may have much room to grow, I still have valuable skills to offer. My four years of writing fanfiction have honed my talent, refined my style, and influenced my voice, perspective and ability. A good beta, or editor, is invaluable. While I used to write solo and not show it to anyone, simply edit and post, I’ve come to understand the inherent value of feedback. It can be a tricky road, as you might find yourself influenced too much by a reader into trying to suit their tastes rather than your own, but a good beta (eternal thanks to @paialovespie & @hoomhum)--that is to say, a great beta, will not only see the nuts and bolts which might need tightening, but will offer insights which blow your story from ordinary to inspired. The same goes for a ‘personal cheerleader’ (the highest of praise to @mottlemoth) or someone who reminds you at your dark times that you are capable of far more than you can conceive of in that moment. Forget nasty comments online, most of us are our own worst enemies--after all, we know our weakest spots and can zero in on them mercilessly.

Even without a beta, I believe in myself as a writer enough these days (most days) to hope that one day, with hard work, skill, great editing, and some luck, I too could be published. Not a NYT best seller, perhaps, but then, I’m not entirely certain I’d like that. I don’t say this out of any sort of pretentiousness, but because, in essence, these days, I want to write the kind of things that appeal to a more niche audience. I’d like to point with pride at my small book, nestled there on a bookshelf, or available with one click of a button, as something that helps give a voice to a community which has, and still continues to be, marginalized, ignored, fetishized and pandered to, in equal measure. Perhaps it would be for the best if what I wrote wasn’t palatable to the greater reading public.

Of course, those days when I’m full of zest and confidence don’t always last. Like any creator, I fall prey to Imposter Syndrome. Lord, I can’t believe that a time used to exist when I didn’t know what that was! I knew the feeling (oh, how I did), but had no clue that a term existed to encapsulate it. The concept that I wasn’t alone in having days (weeks, months, years) of being cast into doubt that I had anything worth saying--a voice worth listening to--isn’t a new one, but to find out that I’m not alone was unutterably comforting. 

Since, like so many people, I’ve been suffering from a lack of ambition and ability to focus during this global pandemic, I haven’t written much at all, that inner voice rang loud and clear. I’m a fraud, a fake. Any ability I had was used up, clearly as shallow as a mud puddle if a little adversity was enough to dry it out. The struggle to get myself past that was, and is, one that swings from good to bad almost day by day. I had to finally give myself permission to be sad, scared, worried, tired, uninspired. Eventually I decided it was enough that I could find comfort and solace in other’s writing. And oh, how I have! Even though days and days would pass when I couldn’t even muster the interest to read, other times I would consume fanfiction fervently, feverishly. 

And there was so much out there! Adventure, sex, romance, comedy, crack, fluff, hurt/comfort. It seems funny that I can rail against the ‘formulaic’ writing of published books and then turn to ‘tags’ and ‘tropes’ for comfort. But I think the difference lies in the heart that is written into those fanfiction stories. Most of us, while being somewhat influenced by friends, mutuals and fans into writing for a hungry public, are, by and large, writing for ourselves. The old tried and true ‘write what you know’ advice seemed empty and meaningless to me for years. If we only ever write what we know, then how do sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, etc., get written? My brain went to the obvious and ignored the heart of the matter--it isn’t so much what you ‘know’ as writing what you need. What makes you passionate. Even if you’ve never been on a space ship, or been part of a polyamorous, platonic communal family group, if you write it with that yearning and spirit in your heart, it will reach out to someone else.

Fanfiction, at it’s core, is self-comfort.

In my estimation, looking at traditionally published books, it seems that what most of them lack is that heart. The writers aren’t writing because they need the story, or because they are compelled to tell it. It isn’t that they had a hell of a good time writing it, or that they made themselves laugh while doing so. They had a publishing deal to fulfil, a publisher to make happy, a reading public who had certain expectations. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, but if it’s your only motivation...then the writing suffers the neglect and a percerptive reader will note the difference. 

By and large, the fandom, the ship, even the trope, aren’t what captivates me most. I’m a pretty eclectic reader. I enjoy a good story more than I do the fact that it is a particular pairing. The draw is how well it is written, any chances the author took, the indulgence into style, formatting, etc. that they allowed themselves. So why should published books be any different? I’ve heard (non-fandom) people dismiss fanfiction as niche. Perhaps it is. But it is also broad, vast, uncharted territory where we’re all having a lot of fun and enjoying the hell out of ourselves.

Maybe those published authors need to spend a little time with us. 

[margarethelstone]

Once Mine: Chapter 3 - We’d Known Her First

Yes I want to grow yes I want to feel Yes I want to know show me how to heal it up Heal it up

fanfiction.net / AO3 / wattpad

The night was cool and bright. The Moon was hanging high, lightening the quiet homesteads of all the Vikings, currently preparing to sleep after the whole day of work. Pale beams disappeared in thresholds and niches, while the shadow with its distinct lines showed their edges and curves. Every now and then, silence was interrupted by dragon rumbles and not so cordial reproofs of their owners.

On the top of a platform, a still remaining relict of the past war against the dragons, a fire was set, burning with a small but steady flame. The group of young people that sat quietly around it, certainly did not intend to go back home any time soon. For the leaders of the Dragon Academy there was no such term as too late.

“I’m warning you,” Snotlout spoke, pointing at Tuffnut with his stick, on which the remains of a roasted chicken could be seen. “You’ll do something like this one more time, and I’ll personally rip your head off.”

“Yeah...” The other boy didn’t even glance at his prosecutor. “Just like yesterday.”

“And the day before that,” his sister added.

“And every other time...” Fishlegs pointed out with scepticism.

The whole gang peered at Snotlout, not even trying to conceal their amusement.

“Actually, you say that every single time you get shot," Tuff summed up. "And there is no real consequence to it."

“Exactly!” Ruffnut revolted. “You could tie him to a mast with his head down, and ship him off into the storm. Or lock him up in some dark dirty den, face to face with a Changewing, and a Changewing only. That would be something.”

“Dirty den. Brr.” Tuffnut shivered. “But I like the mast thing – put it one the list before we forget it.”

“Excuse me?” Snotlout looked around with a reproach. “Doest anyone care for what I really mean?”

“Truth is, you’ve been threatening him since forever and you have never fulfilled any of those threats. Don’t expect him to start caring for them now.” As usual, Fishlegs was answering his friend calmly, glancing at him a bit derisively. At the same time, Snotlout was far from being calm.

As usual.

“You don’t understand a thing, you mutton heads! How are we supposed to be an authority for those kids, if we’re making things hot for each other inside the team?”

The twins looked at one other, apparently enjoying themselves; Fishlegs sighed, unconvinced. Eret, who’d remained silent until now, lifted his eyes, examining the preceding speaker carefully.

“If we think of being an authority as of our main goal, Snotlout does have a point. But I’m not sure this is what it’s all about.”

“Hold on a second,” Tuffnut protested unexpectedly. “Didn’t you command this way yourself? You know, don’t mess with the leader, and stuff?"

“I did, and that’s why I know what I’m talking about.” The former Dragon Trapper had no intention of withdrawing. “That was different. My mercenaries were all adults, but I was the only one to answer before Drago. So those men really had nothing to say – about anything.”

He fell silent, pondering. “It’s not the same with those kids. They need to learn to make decisions on their own, because they’ll be the ones responsible for them.”

“And how is that connected to the authority at all?” Snotlout asked.

“Only that’s it’s not the authority we should be focusing on right now.”

Fishlegs cleared his throat. “As much as I hate to say it, I think Snotlout may be up to something. Sorry, Eret," he muttered tentatively. "Even if he's only partially right."

“Ha!” the short Viking called with a triumph in his voice. “Of course I… Wait, what?”

“It doesn’t often happen, but I have to agree. Partially," Fishlegs continued, sounding a little more assertively. “If we want our future Riders to make a tight team, they should perceive us as one; that’s the first thing to start with. And as it comes to taking the initiative, there’s no need to hurry. I don’t think we should pattern ourselves upon Drago and his soldiers -" On that point, he spoke to Eret directly. "- But you have to admit, some of his methods can actually work. Remember that those kids have just started their training; some of them have never ridden a dragon. They’re learning, Eret. From us. So, if this training is supposed to end with any good results, it’s better if they think of us as well as possible.”

“You want them to think we are free from any faults?” The Trapper slightly raised his eyebrows.

“That’s something no one could achieve. And certainly not with this squad.” Fishlegs smiled under his nose. “Besides, it would be rather dumb to pretend we have no defects, but then again, why would we give them the entire list at once? Maybe… you shouldn’t know everything about your leader, not at the beginning, at least. Keeping a proper distance can also do some good, to both of the parties.”

“Sounds awfully like Hiccup.”

There was something in Tuff’s words, that made his comment resonate with scorn – but what was really there, was a strong feeling of grudge.

Silence descended, while the Riders lowered their heads and looked away. Each and every of them tormented themselves with the matter of their young Chief, who’d seemed not to remember he’d been a member of this group himself once. As the time had gone by, they’d started to doubt if Hiccup would have even called them his friends anymore. But none of them knew what could’ve been done about it.

“I’m so sick of him!” Snotlout yelled, eventually. “So sick! He pisses me off! He always has, but what he’s doing now, tops it all. He acts like if we weren’t even here. He may be a Chief, but Odin’s beard, it’s doesn’t mean he can be a jerk now!”

Noticing, that no one’s going to respond, he went on: “You’ve all heard Valka saying what’s happening to him. How this guy is functioning – he hardly eats, hardly sleeps, and Toothless has probably forgotten, that you can go for a flight and for once, not care about what other people need. But of course, we can’t do a bloody thing, ‘cause Hiccup doesn’t wish us to.”

“Why doesn’t he let us help?” Ruffnut asked, exceptionally quiet. “Why?”

“We all know, why,” Fishlegs answered bleakly, rolling a helmet in his hands. “It’s her. All that happens, happens because she is not here.”

“But there is even more to do now, right? He could use help more than ever,” the girl didn’t want to pull back.

“It’s not that easy...” Fishlegs dispelled her hopes, as he was patting his hand on Meatlug, lounging by his side. “He wants to work, because if he does, he has no time for thinking. Maybe it’s better for him to tire in a physical way, than agonise over remembering Astrid.”

Ruff looked rather unconvinced.

“Well, it doesn’t seem to work. He thinks of her all the time anyway.”

“True.”

For a moment, they remained silent, both occupied with the same thought. Eret put his fish down; for some reason, he completely lost an appetite for it.

“Everything here reminds him of her.” The Trapper gazed at the fireplace, slowly dying in the night. “When you guys were entertaining the recruits by setting each other on fire, I had a chance to fly around the Island. I saw him. He was checking a wall near the Academy and I think he heard your screams; I could’ve sworn, he smiled sincerely, and more, it lasted. But only for a while.”

“So it doesn’t really matter if we talk about her, or not. You know, don’t you dare to mention Astrid with Hiccup in sight rule. We worry for no reason.”

“That’s another thing!” Snotlout perked up again. “Even if there is a reason, why should we care? Why can’t we speak of her? Because he’s hurt? And what about us?”

Fishlegs opened his mouth, intending to defence their Chief, but closed it a second later. As for the young Jorgenson, he was thriving.

“He cared for her more than we did. I get it. They were closer. And… And maybe Hiccup really suffers more than all of us together, but for gods’ sake, he doesn’t have an exclusivity for mourning!”

He fell on a bench, exhausted, and still furious.

His companions saw no need to hurry with an answer; they let the silence take over again.

The Moon had shifted, changing the arrangement of the shadows. Somewhere in the distance, a dragon roared; in one of the houses, situated closer to them, a man knocked a wooden bowl, making it fall down with a crash. The sea was burbling gently – it was friendly and calm. Even Barf and Belch, who’d been too busy biting one another to notice anything, lay their heads on the ground, ashamed.

“He doesn’t even let us mention her,” Snotlout’s voice sounded more like a whisper now. “Like if she was never here.”

Sniffing, he fiercely wiped away a tear that had was suddenly slipped on his cheek; and he wasn’t the one be moved easily.

“It’s not exactly like that...” Fishlegs threw in conciliately. “But you’re right. He kinda appropriated the right for a grief.”

“As for me, sometimes I think there are no good memories of Astrid,” Eret mumbled.

Tuffnut confirmed. “Soon there won’t be any.”

The rest of the gang shook their heads.

“You know we’d known her first, right?” Ruff mooted a while later “We’d known her for longer, much longer. Whatever you may say, she’d hanged out with us since we’d been kids, but she practically hadn’t noticed Hiccup until the Training.”

“When she was trying to kill him,” her brother snorted with laughter. “Oh Thor, she was mad.”

Eret raised his head and glanced and his friends’ faces. He wondered how was it possible he’d not heard that part of the story before.

“You should’ve seen it,” Snotlout spoke directly to him. “The worst Viking Berk had ever seen came to the Dragon Training and not only did he survive the first days not getting eaten, but was actually doing quite well."

“Quite well?” Fishlegs protested. “He was doing much better than quite well. We were all playing  daredevil, but no one doubted – if there was anyone to win that Training, it was Astrid. Until Hiccup appeared and made dragons do whatever he wanted them to.”

Eret still looked rather sceptical about the whole thing.

“Nothing new. It was Hiccup, after all.”

“That’s the point. Short and skinny, he couldn’t even handle his axe properly.” Fishlegs smiled, embarrassed. “To tell you the truth, none of us had treated him seriously back then, Stoick especially. Astrid wasn’t any different.”

His friend observed that the twins peeked at each other knowingly. He could bet that the blonde girl sitting in front of him had something to add. Apparently, she abandoned the idea.

Fishlegs continued, “Anyway, as you may guess, Hiccup soon went from zero to hero. He was no longer a village doormat; he was a serious rival instead.”

“And nothing made Astrid as crazy-insane as a rival nearby. Trust me.” Snotlout grinned widely, and so did the oldest Viking.

“It’s always a competition, isn’t it?”

“Always,” the whole group replied harmoniously.

“No matter how long Hiccup would tell us otherwise,” Fishlegs made it complete. “It changes nothing.”

“If only you saw her while Heather first came here,” Ruff chuckled. “It was quite a show.”

“You mean the Heather?” The trapper picked up his fish, which was still lying next to him. He was more than happy to see the surrounding warm up again.

“The Heather...” Fishlegs responded quietly; then, after getting it together, he added, “Astrid… wasn’t especially fond of her during her first visit. She didn’t trust her; and as it soon turned out, she was right.”

“Heather kidnapped Stormfly.”

“Yes. But I suppose the thing that really made Astrid sick, was Hiccup paying so much attention to our guest.”

“Another hen in the rooster house, if you know what I mean,” Tuffnut nudged his sister, smiling halfwittedly.

“Astrid was...”

“The last thing I am is jealous!” the Thorston-Jorgenson duet squealed simultaneously, imitating their friend really badly. The gang burst out laughing, including Eret. Even though he couldn’t remember the situation, the very thought of the warrior saying anything remotely like this was enough to make him accompany the group.

“You know Hiccup would kill us, if he found out how we speak of her, right?” Still unable to stop laughing, Snotlout could hardly pronounce it properly. Again, he wiped his tears, this time caused by a sudden explosion of cheerfulness. “Oh gods, we’re dead.”

“Hiccup?” Tuff asked, cackling. “Just think of what Astrid would do, if she could hear us now!”

“Farewell, my friends, as the end is near!” his Twin summed up in the most theatrical way.

Another howl of laughter ripped the air, spreading around, slowly dying in silence. None of them stopped smiling.

“And that’s the crucial difference,” watching his friends’ faces, Fishlegs sighed. “Many months will pass until Hiccup learns to treat those memories like we do. If he ever -”

His speech was interrupted by a noise coming from the ground below. Seconds later, they all heard a thud on the stairs – someone was reaching the top with an unbelievable speed. The dragons raised their heads, intrigued by the arrival of a new member of a company, while the Vikings understood they were not being visited by a representative of their own kind.

The “steps” were ringing close, and soon the Riders saw what – or better said, who – was making them. A black dragon head appeared above the edge of a platform and green eyes sparkled, reflecting the flame of a dying fire.

“Toothless?! But what are you -”

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Inside the online communities where straight guys help other straight guys get off

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

B, a 23-year-old man who identifies as straight, really likes looking at dicks. 

Although he isn't romantically or sexually attracted to cis men, B says his fascination to "strictly penises" began when he started watching porn in high school. 

"For a very long time I just brushed it aside and ignored it," B told Mashable through a Reddit DM. To maintain anonymity, he asked to only be referred to as one of his initials. "It wasn't till around the middle of college that I discovered there were communities online filled with people like me that had very similar attractions." 

That's when B found r/jobuds, a NSFW subreddit for "mostly straight guys who happen to like jerking off with others." 

B had his first sexual experience with another man after connecting on a spinoff subreddit, r/jobudsmeetup. After messaging each other for about a week, they met up at the other man's empty apartment. B was so nervous, it took him "a little while" to be comfortable enough to even get an erection. While they settled down on the other man's couch after a few drinks, B grappled with his own sexuality, wondering if he was gay despite his relationships with women. The two eventually slid off their pants and began masturbating side-by-side.

"We would take turns choosing clips of porn to watch, but we were very much doing our own thing for the first 30-ish minutes," B said. Then, the other man reached over and began stroking B. "I was surprised at first, but then I realized I was supposed to return the favor so I did. That lasted for 10 or 12 minutes, we both orgasmed, I got dressed, said 'thanks' and left." 

SEE ALSO: 10 different but equally enjoyable kinds of masturbation sessions

They fell out of touch, but B tried it again about a year later. This time, he made a post seeking a partner and "certainly achieved an erection much quicker" when he and another man met up. B says the mutual masturbation lasted longer than his first time, and he was more comfortable with the notion of jerking off another man. He notes that after they both finished, they ended up chatting for a bit afterwards — a much less awkward conclusion than his first r/jobuds meetup. 

"It felt more right this time around," B reflected on the experience. "Maybe I had a better connection with my partner or maybe I was just more turned on ... maybe I had just changed a bit." 

Neither encounter turned into anything longterm, and contact fizzled out after a few weeks. But while B recently posted in r/jobudsmeetup under the name u/abc_throwawayx, seeking another man to get off with, he doesn't see himself going as far as having sex with another guy. Not every r/jobud experience is like B's — some users prefer to limit the mutual jerking off to video calls or live texting instead of in-person meetups.

"It stops at the base though," B said, while describing the parameters of his attraction to penises. "It's really like this sort of primal attraction just to male sexual organs." 

Cornell University psychology professor Ritch Savin-Williams unpacks the delicate nuances of sexuality in his 2017 book Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity Among Men, noting that the 40 young men he interviewed for the book didn't quite fit in the labels of straight/bisexual/gay, and were reluctant to confine themselves to one of the "Big Three" categories.

Savin-Williams had subjects watch porn of women masturbating and of men masturbating, measuring attraction based on the subjects' dilated pupils. He says the men who identify as "mostly straight" had relationships with strictly women, but in some cases, were aroused by seeing a penis. 

"They're just very erotically turned on by penises," Savin-Williams explained in a phone call. "Somehow in their development, the penis became an object of great fascination [and] arousal."

He doubts that the men he profiled are closeted or in denial about their attractions, and he emphasizes the spectrum of sexuality. Granted, his study was tiny and more anecdotal than based on clinical trials. Also, not all of the self-identified straight men on r/jobuds may experience attraction the way B does. Arousal is incredibly complex, Savin-Williams says, and can't be explained by a simple psychological theory. But people are becoming more open to admitting their sexual fluidity. A U.S. Department of Health and Human Services poll conducted between 2011 and 2013 found that 6 percent of men 18 to 24 reported they were mostly attracted to the opposite sex, while 87 percent said they were only attracted to the opposite sex.

For B, being able to get lost in a fantasy is what makes mutual masturbation so appealing. He feels like "everyone fantasizes a little bit" when they're engaging in any sort of sexual activity, but he has more license to when he's masturbating with another man than when he's having sex with female partners because he isn't focused on the other person's orgasm.

"Things are more geared toward each other's bodies and working towards pleasuring each other," B said. When he's engaging in mutual masturbation, the "combined fantasy" allows for more space to explore roleplay and kinks. "We'll often obsess a bit over the porn we're watching and really let ourselves get lost in the fantasy that it's presenting. It's much more cooperative."

But coming to terms with those desires can be a struggle. Savin-Williams notes that since the confines of traditional masculinity hold men back from pursuing new experiences, they have difficulty expressing their wants to potential partners. 

"They can't tolerate telling anyone or acting on them, but they still have them in their fantasy worlds," he explains. 

Where else is there for someone to anonymously seek out fulfilling sexual experiences without meeting in person than in niche internet communities? B says r/jobuds may seem like a "hive of scum and terrible people," but it still provided somewhere for him to explore without being slapped with unwanted labels. 

Having a dedicated, moderated space to do so is a "great tool in growing or confusing times," said r/NSFWskype mod xluckis4losersx. In a (SFW) Skype call, he said the subreddit sees many first-time posters looking to feel out the boundaries of their sexuality.

"Whether or not that's true, or playing into some sort of fantasy, there are people who use [r/NSFWskype] to experiment," xluckis4losersx said, referring to the self-identified straight men seeking out other men to masturbate with like on r/jobuds. "To be able to take this baby step forward instead of jumping to Grindr or in-person encounters, it's certainly a great tool to explore themselves safely."

Safety is key, especially when experimenting with anything sexual. While mutual masturbation over a video chat holds its own risks, like catfishing or blackmail, there's little chance of any physical danger in these meetups. B says he keeps an eye out for "negative behavior traits," as he's heard horror stories of no-strings-attached hook ups that ended up getting obsessed. But xluckis4losersx remarked that the added anonymity of Skype sessions where participants can obscure their face or show just their genitals, unlike during in-person experiences, may make people feel more at ease discussing consent. 

"If anonymity makes you more comfortable to lay yourself out and say these are my boundaries, that's great!" he said. 

At the end of the day, someone's sexual identity is nobody's business but their own. While internet drama curator KeemStar set off a heated debate earlier this week when he insisted on Twitter that "No straight man in the history of mankind was bi curious," and claimed that men who had experimented couldn't possibly be straight, Savin-Williams says sexuality is more complicated than the black and white categories we automatically put people into. He says that younger generations are much less likely to confine themselves to labels, and compared to their parents' generations, self-identified straight millennials are more likely to approach attraction to someone of the same gender as "very unlikely, but not impossible."

"Contrasted with previous generations, young people today are more confident, connected, introspective, and open to change," Savin-Williams wrote in a Time essay. During the call with Mashable, he said he and his husband were mindblown that sexual fluidity is so much more "ho hum" now — he credits pop culture for normalizing it through ads, entertainment, and celebrity relationships. 

Although society still has a long way to go in terms of accepting the sexual fluidity displayed in r/jobuds and r/NSFWskype into the mainstream, Savin-Williams believes Gen Z will lead the way.

"I have great hope that these guys will be much better off in the sense of allowing themselves to explore the full range [of attraction] that they have," he raved. "I think the millennials are going to be shocked." 

And for B, having a platform to facilitate same-sex mutual masturbation wasn't necessarily a life-changing revelation — he still considers himself straight, not bisexual — but it did put him at ease with his body.

"It really just made me comfortable with my own sexuality," B said. "It helped define the borders of my sexuality a lot."

WATCH: 'Therapeutic' NSFW workshop lets you decorate your own bespoke sex toys

[le-damien-blog1]

Amazon SEO

Every product on Amazon that has ever been purchased includes a sales rank on its product page. Google my just think that Amazon is more of an authority.

Also they mentioned a few times the ability to rank Amazon product pages. Sometimes I liken Amazon SEO to what Google SEO was like over seven years ago without any of the Animal updates … meaning, it's a lot simpler than what we are used to right now. Once the photos are in place then you can proceed to the next step that is SEO.

The fact that you are placing the product on Amazon is good enough for SEO rather it is a really wise decision. This is because there's no such thing as off-page SEO for Amazon; they only use internal factors to determine how a product ranks. In most of niches, now it is going very difficult to identify why some websites rank without having any SEO value.

Pick one of the 5 areas to focus on and follow the advice of our Ecommerce SEO experts. Google is always making things harder on us. But I'm here to tell you that building niche sites to rank in Google to earn Amazon affiliate income still works. I might just get back into SEO & building affiliate websites.

However Google will find the Amazon book from that same search. I do huge amounts of (Google) SEO for my Amazon pages, but since I'm the manufacturer it makes perfect sense. If you want to know how to rank on Amazon, review the guide above for 5 steps you can take to increase the search rank of your Amazon products.

That is just one example of how to use an Amazon SEO expert to get the search engines to tip to your advantage. In this example, notice the product listing ads appear along the top of the results. It doesn't seem to be clear to me that you know how SEO works on google.

Amazon has a keyword field and they actually use it to rank products. If you are offering the same product as another seller, and you can compete on price, it is possible to piggyback on their Amazon SEO. We believe that we can help you to grow your business high by top rank your product on Amazon 1st page.

The first step to getting more search traffic to your site is to outrank Amazon. Amazon SEO tip #1: Make sure you're populating as many relevant terms as possible for your listing if you want to increase your visibility, sales and overall rank in the search results. SEO is not exactly rocket science but then it can be a bit difficult if you do not know how to go about it. Optimization for Amazon products is slightly different from that of on-site marketing but then it is also very simple.

That's why it's important to take all four factors into account when evaluating keywords for ecommerce SEO. Many Amazon shoppers only look at the product picture and title, and Amazon optimization efforts reflect this. At Tipping Point SEO we work with you to optimize your Amazon experience.

Basic Amazon optimization is very important, so don't overlook it. In real sense, this is Amazon SEO 101; which include following best practices prescribed by Amazon and ensuring that all page tags are correctly filled out. Notice this Amazon listing is on page 1 of Google currently. Looking at the titles for the products you are interested in selling and that are also best-sellers on Amazon will help you in naming your product and in crafting your product listing for Amazon.

Can anyone tell me from where is the best way to gain back links to rank keywords for amazon product. In this video you'll learn about the 12 Zones and why each is important. By knowing the RIGHT way to optimize each of the 12 Zones on the Amazon Product Page!

These SEO Keywords are not officially selected and listed like the Amazon Keywords. I'm gonna try taking all the amazon links out to see if I get my rankings back. If you're interested, you can read more on my company's blog about how to improve SEO on Amazon.

While it's obvious how powerful Amazon SEO can be in increasing one's business, Amazon and its algorithm are relatively unknown. When you have content promoting your Amazon product and it is similar to the one promoting your ecommerce site then you are going to have issues with SEO. I can rank your keyword on amazon first page on specific keyword.

I used those to find my product and supplier, and now I'll use this article to rank that product on Amazon. There's nothing advanced about this product listing - they just covered all the bases. It's definitely frustrating to see your clients outranked with sites having zero SEO optimization.

Starting out on SEO is simple when you have someone to guide you and to help you deal with any problems that come your way. This is why many big companies have invested a lot of money in their SEO campaigns. SEO company's should be made responsible for their actions.

If you're going to build an Amazon Affiliate niche site, your first major step is to find a product (or group of related products) to build your site around. However, it is hard to say off page optimization contributes 80% to the SEO efforts. So before I get to my thoughts on why Amazon niche sites are the best way for someone to get started making money online today, and how exactly I've been able to do it, I wanted to provide just a couple of screenshots from my Amazon account.

This is a crucial step and ​Yoast SEO makes the job a lot easier. Amazon SEO is exploding on the Internet marketing scene. Because Google often serves up Amazon listings before other search results, you could be missing out on a HUGE number of sales if your Amazon product pages aren't properly optimized.

Optimizing your Amazon product listings does more than just help them rank well for internal searches. This is good for user experience and helps rank your Amazon page in Google and other search engines. Since Amazon has better search engine optimization (SEO) than the tiny Childhood Way Boutique, Noboa has some hefty competition—with her own products.

Well, you can't make big sales on the site without Amazon SEO Here are the basics on how to get your products ranked. The 5 most important Amazon SEO ranking factors — including the one that many authors and sellers overlook. (There may be another product listing for this title that is, but that wouldn't affect the sales rank of this product listing.) It's only available used or new from third-party sellers.

Google will crawl the category trees of Amazon and decide itself whether to index your Amazon product page or not. Bryan also enlists local SEO to compete directly with Amazon. Neither Amazon nor customers are going to find this product.

The Only Step-by-Step Training that Teaches You How to Optimize the 12 Zones of an Amazon Listing That Sells! In the following blog series, we will dissect each component of a successful product content submission strategy. When selecting my 7 Amazon Keywords, the first one or two will be chosen to grant me a specific category After that, my Amazon Keywords and my SEO Keywords are usually the same…sort of.

As you can see, Amazon is one of the more important search engines to rank for. Amazon constantly ranks at the top of Google for three reasons. Getting that product to rank highly on Amazon is not going to be a simple job at all.

I would be aware of the URL trick and other changes the last 12 months. Whatever the SEO strategy we use we can not beat those links. Even if you don't have the best on-page SEO and a ton of backlinks, you can rank well from an overall site perspective if you cross-link your pages.

Google was built to sell ads; Amazon was built to sell products. I have no doubt that Google monitors that SEO blog and many others. Darren Rowse of has been an Amazon affiliate for over 12 years.

We've been helping sellers rank better and sell more products on Amazon for over 10 years. This is actually something that should be done just as soon as your product is listed on Amazon. With a little Amazon SEO on your side, you could easily double your sales on one of the hottest online shopping engines.

Amazon rankings have never been this exciting. Follow our step-by-step, noob friendly guide to Ecommerce SEO to increase your store's Google traffic. Amazon is a search engine just like any other, so it's important that you think about optimization and how optimization best practices may have changed each year.

Amazon optimization actually encompasses much more than simply writing decent listing text. It's a simple formula, the higher you rank for searches in Amazon the more sales you'll get. As the Amazon Bestsellers Rank is relative to other products in a category, an increase in sales alone isn't enough to increase rankings.

Want us to handle your Amazon optimization AND get in ranked in Google? Buy Amazon product page optimization services by AuroIN for your product to make it look extremely promising. Amazon pages rank much more differently than regular money sites, and it's important to understand this.

If you want your products to rank higher in Amazon search, investigate the opportunities to have your products sold by Amazon and be Prime eligible as the alternative fulfillment methods seem to negatively impact Amazon search ranking. Yeah, open your own e-commerce site and work on your own SEO. It's worked so far for Amazon - you could quantify the ROI of their SEO effort in the billions.

If you learned something from visiting us and think we could help you-you could get started with us today and learn how to do SEO Amazon style! Something else that can help is ranking in Google for local keywords for your Amazon product. Neither survey points to Amazon receiving more than double the number of product searches started on Amazon as Google.

Another easy win to differentiate yourself from the competition in terms of giving the user and Amazon what they want in terms of Amazon SEO is product specifications i.e. weight, dimensions etc. But relatively speaking; yes it's easier to rank an Amazon product page to Google than anything else. A lot of people maintain that the only way to rank Amazon sites is to use PBN's.