#i dont have time or money to spend on this
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LAYUPS & LAYOVERS
pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader wc: 2.9k content warnings: language, fluff, author is southern and doesn't understand how snow or marketing works, plot where there doesn’t need to be plot synopsis: It’s Christmas Eve and you’re in Connecticut, exhausted and just trying to get to Minnesota for a work conference. You could cry when it’s announced that all flights are being halted due to the incoming blizzard. Irritated, tired, and overworked, you pray for a miracle, although it takes an unnatural shape in the form of a six foot blonde athlete who’s just trying to make it home, too. Late night airport conversations lead to something more. notes: merry christmas eve from my delusions to yours! the last chapter of irp was super heavy so here's my apology and christmas gift (do i drop another one tmr...i really dont wanna write chapter 8 😩). i hope you all enjoy this short n sweet lil ramble i threw together and happy holidays 🫶
This can not be your life right now.
It’s actually kind of impressive how all of the stars aligned on this one particular night to fuck you over. You’re not a terrible person. You hold the doors for everyone, give up your seat on the bus for sweet old ladies, and you always allocate a portion of your paychecks to donate to Wikipedia. By all accounts, you should be overwhelmed with good karma, although it seems your luck has depleted on this night and this night alone.
It all started on the 20th when you flew out to Connecticut. You work a cushy job as a marketing consultant for the WNBA, which means you spend a lot of time in the air and across the country trying to unfuck – sorry, trying to optimize and rejuvenate – the state of the league and its teams. It’s a task easier said than done. Nobody seems to want to listen to you until they realize that your master’s degrees in marketing and business analytics actually mean something and aren’t just really expensive pieces of paper that you hang in your office. You spend a couple of days in Uncasville talking strategies to boost ticket sales and to gain more traction; they’re the only professional team the state has – it should not be hard to get people to show up if you can market it right, but here you are.
Connecticut is nearly a bust. It’s cold and you spend two full days in meetings getting talked over by men who think they understand numbers and branding. Then, on the third day, the front office suddenly realizes what you’ve been talking about (this shit was covered in your sophomore year intro to marketing class, but hey, the less people know, the more you get paid, so who’s really complaining?) and the trajectory of your trip makes a sudden turnaround. On the 23rd and early on the 24th, you help the Sun roll out the new optimizations, and what do you know? Ticket sales surge by 17%, including some season tickets, all is well in the world and it’s a goddamn Christmas miracle.
Then, all is suddenly not well and you remember that Christmas miracles are for people not surrounded by idiots. Your boss emails you just before you leave for the airport: The Lynx need your help. I’ve sent you tickets for the first flight out of Connecticut. Meet with them on the 26th. Said “flight” departs from Connecticut at 8:30pm on Christmas Eve, which means you’re not even in Minnesota until 12am if you’re lucky, which means you have to figure out hotel arrangements so you can take a nap because you’ve barely slept in five days, which means you have to figure out how to be nice to people again because the Sun front office has you pissed all the way the fuck off.
So, you’re tired, overworked, extremely irritated, and hungry, although that last problem is solved by airport Subway. You just hope that doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass, either – you firmly believed that you were better off betting all of your money on black rather than taking the chance on airport food, but you didn’t have much of a choice and your stomach was growling. You eat, settling in a chair at your gate, and patiently await for your plane to arrive.
Then, the overhead PA clicks on with some static noise, announcing, “Flight 932 to Minneapolis and all other flights exiting Hartford will be delayed due to inclement weather. I repeat–”
The blood rushes to your head. Your eye twitches. There’s a crying baby somewhere in the airport and you can’t take it anymore. Honestly, what’s stopping you? Flying a plane cannot be that difficult. You’re pretty persuasive. You can tell TSA you’re just young for a pilot and you’re not wearing a pilot’s uniform because it’s Christmas Eve and what are you, the feds? All you’re really asking for at this point is a nap but there’s no way in hell you’re making it to a hotel in these conditions and the chances of you sleeping in an airport with all of your belongings out for someone to grab are even lower.
A commotion towards the check in counter commands your attention. You turn, dreading the eventual crash out of an airport Karen, but it’s better than the crying baby who still hasn’t shut the fuck up.
“Please, there’s gotta be something else you can do,” a tall, broad-shouldered blonde is begging, her hair pulled into a loose ponytail. “It’s Christmas Eve, I have to get home.”
The lady at the check in counter sounds sympathetic when she responds. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our hands are tied. We can’t send our planes out in this weather, but if it eases up, the next flight out should have you arriving in Minneapolis by tomorrow afternoon.”
You hear the blonde groan, her tone sounding something like, I can’t fucking believe this is my life, which is a sentiment you whole-heartedly agree with. “Can you please lemme know if there’s anything earlier?” she pleads. “Like, if by the grace of God this weather clears and we can leave sooner.”
“Of course, ma’am. All updates will be announced.”
The response is almost robotical, but you can tell the receptionist is trying her best, too, and the last place she wants to be is hanging out at the airport on Christmas Eve. The blonde sighs, thanking her, and from the corner of your eye, you watch her hike her bag up over her shoulder and she moves to sit directly in front of you. That’s when you truly get a good look at her, at the dejected blue of her eyes, the chisel of her jaw, the logo on her hoodie. Paige Bueckers is no stranger to you. You grew up watching ball, so obviously you’re familiar with her game – any self-respecting basketball fan is. But by virtue of your job, Paige Bueckers is a name that makes your marketing heart beat just a little faster. Ever since Dallas won the lottery, you’ve been all over their marketing team. Paige’s entire existence and the chance she gets drafted to Dallas is the sole reason the Wings’ tickets are flying off the shelves. She’s the most marketable college athlete there is right now, one of the top rookie prospects for the league, but one look at her face in person and you’re forgetting all about your job. Her jaw is tight with a simmering anger, and honestly, you feel terrible for her – she already spends so much time away from her family and here she is trying to get out of Bumfuck, Connecticut, so she can be home in time for Christmas.
You find a little bit of bravery when you raise your voice slightly to ask her, “No luck?”
She looks up, glancing at you and taking in your features, and laughing slightly when she realizes you’re genuinely just trying to make conversation and not trying to get a soundbite out of her. “You heard that?” she asks sheepishly, sinking a little in her seat to get comfortable. You pretend to not notice her manspread.
“Well,” you begin, glancing over at the receptionist. “The desk is like, ten feet away.” She laughs again and nods, murmuring touche under her breath. “932 Minneapolis?” you ask, referring to your flight.
Paige nods again, quirking a smile. “You stalking me or sum’?”
You shrug your shoulders, a coy smile on your face. “Just observant,” you quip.
Paige grins fully. “What about you?” she asks. “You work for the league?”
At that, you can’t help your surprise, raising a brow. “How’d you know that?”
“Just observant,” she throws your words back at you. You laugh. “Kidding. I see your ID pokin’ out of your bag. You from here, or they got you workin’ on the holidays?”
“Work,” you respond. Paige whistles lowly. “I’m a marketing consultant. Been up here for a few days working with the Sun, then I’m heading to Minnesota to fix the Lynx’s bullshit.” You blink, registering your words, blushing as Paige laughs. “You did not hear that. I’m usually nicer to my employers.”
“They got you workin’ and flyin’ out on Christmas Eve,” Paige points out. “You should be meaner.”
You incline your head in a nod, huffing. “All of this for office potlucks and dental coverage,” you joke. “Don’t quit basketball.” Paige grins again and you’re suddenly reminded of your manners. “Sorry, I didn’t even introduce myself.” You do as such, only mildly surprised when she stands to shake your hand and introduces herself, too, which is honestly kind of endearing. Then, she plops into the empty seat next to yours, smiling widely.
“So, marketing consultant,” she says, her tone nonchalant as she gets comfortable next to you, extending her long legs across her suitcase. “How often will I get to see you?”
You glance at her, raising a wry eyebrow. “Are you flirting with me?” you ask.
Paige shrugs a shoulder, smirking. “A little. Is it working?”
“Maybe a little,” you admit. You can see the pride that shines in her eyes. You roll your eyes in amusement, still in slight disbelief, but you redirect back to her question. “Honestly, probably a lot. The league is super messy from a business perspective and their actual marketing sphere isn’t that great, either. As soon as you get drafted I’ll probably have to fly down to whichever poverty team you land at and teach them how to market you.”
“Yeah?” she asks, and despite the tease in her tone, she does seem interested. “How would you market me?”
“How much time do you have?”
“Well…” Paige glances down to her watch, then out the windows where snow falls in heavy sheets. “Looks like a lot.”
You snicker. “Alright. Bear with me, okay?” Paige nods in earnest, her attention fully on you as you begin to ramble. Truthfully, you did like your job when you were able to do it. The issue is and always will be the idiots you have to work with who overlook your credentials. “So, I’m not thinking about your personal brand at all. Like, that one’s already incredible. Your PR team did their big one with you. But the issue with athletes like you, wide-eyed and fresh out of college with an insane resume of endorsements, followers, deals, whatever – the issue is that whatever team you get drafted to is gonna want to rebuild their entire image around you. Think Clark, Brink, Reese, Jackson, Cardoso. It’s textbook – you advertise the person who’s gonna get you the most clicks, the most sales. So, how can we use that to actually grow the game, the league? I’m talking about longevity. There’s so many people tuning in for you that don’t know shit about basketball, and honestly, they’re gonna be scared to ask questions.
“So we push something corny. Social media segments with a catchy name like Ball With Bueckers or some shit where you break down basketball plays, rules, the stuff you’re gonna see and hear when you watch a game. What’s a pick and roll? A screen? Why is she getting fouled for blocking that shot, isn’t that what she’s supposed to do? Education, interest, loyalty, and competition sells. Stories sell, too, which is why the league is still trying to push the Clark/Reese rivalry. That’s old news, though. A more compelling story would have been the Fever/Sun rivalry, especially after the Sun beat the Fever and the Fever hired their coach. Or Fever/Wings, for reasons I’m not gonna ruin your night with.” Paige laughs at that, and you smile, clearing your throat and trying to find your train of thought. “So, when I’m undoubtedly called in to fix your team’s mess, that’s what I’d be suggesting. People already love you. Using that connection to get them to love ball, too, is my goal.”
“You’re really passionate about this,” Paige comments, her lips quirking into a slight smile. You can’t help but preen a little, flushing. “Like, about basketball. You really care about the sport. Feels like that’s harder to find lately.”
“Well, I was too short to play it, so gotta settle for something, right?” you joke.
Paige looks you up and down. You’re wearing sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt from college, but her gaze is shameless, appreciative despite your casual airport wear. She chuckles, a disbelieving noise building in the back of her throat. “Nah. You’re what, 6’5?”
You laugh, rolling your eyes. “Try a foot less. But I appreciate you for believing in me.”
Paige smiles, nudging you a little. “I was serious, though. You’re super passionate. I like that.”
“Still flirting?”
“S’not everyday you get snowed in at the airport with a pretty girl,” Paige says, her gaze warm, and you can’t help but blush again. “Gotta shoot my shot, you know?” She mimes throwing a ball, her wrist bent, and you shake your head fondly. Admittedly, she did have you – hook, line, and sinker. You enjoyed the conversation, her company. There were certainly worse people to be stuck with, but you’re glad it was with her.
You shrug your shoulders. “Shoot away,” you say. Her subsequent grin is wide and you find yourself drawn in just a little further.
She asks you virtually everything under the sun – where you grew up, where you went to college, the team you were rooting for, and you answer. You tell her you’re an Atlanta native, born and raised, although you moved up north to study at Columbia. You were 8 when the Dream was founded and that was your team, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. At 10, you watched them win the eastern conference finals on your birthday and that was easily the moment your life changed. Basketball was your future and that much was certain. She asks how you landed the league job (connections, a thick resume, and lots of persuading), how you adjusted to the constant traveling (lots of caffeine and really good concealer), and the hard-hitting question of, are you satisfied?
For that, you really had no answer. Sure, you’re always busy, and that’s better than the alternative of sitting in your office and watching the seconds tick by. You’re good at what you do and your job makes a positive impact on the league. Your colleagues will be who they are; your work speaks for itself and that’s what you pride yourself on. But there’s always going to be a small part of you that yearns for something more, like someone else to share your life with. Someone who sits, and listens, and engages with you; someone who loves basketball just as much as you do (even if it’s a different type of love), someone who’s steady and spontaneous and adaptable.
Then Paige is smiling at you, her gaze warm and soft despite the below freezing temperatures outside; she’s listening, and engaging, steady, spontaneous, adaptable, and probably the only person in the world whose love for basketball could rival your own. You’ve known Paige for all of three hours and it’s nearing midnight in an airport in Connecticut, but it’s Christmas Eve and she feels so right. You would really like to see where this goes, and judging by the way her fingertips brush your knuckles, you think she might like to see that, too.
The two of you talk all through the night, waiting for the weather to ease up. The conversation never slows and you’re certain you’ve never smiled or laughed this much in a long time. It takes you twelve hours of delirious conversation to realize that your luck never depleted. Paige was your overwhelming karma, sent by some sort of Christmas miracle to answer all of the wishes you’d kept to yourself for years. The stars aligned not to fuck you over, but to trap you in an airport with Paige Bueckers, and you find that she’s possibly the best Christmas gift you could have ever gotten.
When the weather finally clears and your plane arrives, you find that your seats are right next to each other – and, well, fate works in funny ways, doesn’t it? You’re both exhausted, but when she lowers the armrest and wraps her arm around your shoulders, pulling you into your side, you can’t help your relieved sigh, leaning into her chest. You and Paige sleep through the entire flight. You dream of soft blue eyes, the lingering scent of her cologne, the promise of how this could last.
You land in Minneapolis and you eventually have to go your separate ways. The two of you exchange numbers, saying your goodbyes, although Paige doesn’t let you get anymore than three feet away from her before she’s catching you by the wrist and pulling you into her. Her hands are cold against your cheeks as she kisses you gently, something deep and lingering and a confirmation that tastes like ‘you and I aren’t done here.’ The falling snow lands gently on your cheeks, melting under the heat of your blush, and you can’t help your smile, interrupting your kiss as the both of you dissolve into laughter. Paige kisses you again, something softer that leaves you feeling warm all over despite the chill, and you thank your Christmas miracle for leading you here.
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As a result of watching more dramas, humor me.
You plan to go home for the holidays to spend them with your parents.
Your mother’s been setting you up on blind dates in hopes of eventually finding you a match. She reasons you’re not getting any younger, so it’s time you settle down and start working on a family. Her intentions are good, but you just wish she’d stop badgering you.
You don’t necessarily live the lifestyle where you can afford to have a partner right now.
You work for Onychinus’ leader, Sylus, as an assassin. You’re at the peak of your game, so much so that you’re considered his right hand by his enemies. You also secretly harbor feelings for your boss, but you know they’re fruitless because you think a relationship, let alone with you, is the furthest thing from his mind.
Anyways, you’re drinking at one of Sylus’ bars one evening, venting to him about your mother. He always humors you when you’re not working—you bring a certain flair to his life that he admits makes his days much more entertaining.
“Why don’t I pretend to be your boyfriend, then? Just to get her off your back,” he suggests with an amused crinkle to his eyes, watching you as he sips his whiskey.
You snort incredulously. Sylus and boyfriend are never two words you would imagine fitting in the same sentence. Still, you can’t deny entertaining the idea of what it’d be like to be something…more to him.
You brush him off as just humoring you as usual, snatching your coat from the barstool and fixing your boss with a sardonic smirk.
“Yeah, right. See ya around, bossman.”
Your flight home leaves first thing in the morning. As much as you would like to stick around to shoot the shit with him, you need your rest to deal with your mother come morning.
Fast forward, and you’re back in your childhood home. You feel strange, being in your cutesy, innocent bedroom like there isn’t so much invisible blood on your hands and like you haven’t long shed the sheltered skin you once wore when you were younger.
Your parents don’t know the full extent of what you do. They know you make a generous amount of money—you’ve bought them luxurious cars and clothes and sent them on exclusive vacations. You would buy them a plot of land with a beautiful home built from the ground up if they’d let you, but your parents insist on staying where they’re familiar.
An old childhood friend’s having a get-together. Your mother insists you go—this is the perfect opportunity for you to network and possibly find a future husband. Despite your protests, she pressures you, and you begrudgingly agree.
You stick out like a sore thumb, donned in expensive fabrics at the party. Years of being an assassin and seductress have given you the gift of gab, so you’re the life of the party. Eventually, people start inquiring about your love life. Their questions become so invasive you step out momentarily to gather yourself. Just because you’re good at flapping your gums doesn’t mean you don’t occasionally become overwhelmed.
You decide to text Sylus to help ease your anxiety. You text each other quite often, and someone peering at your relationship from the outside would assume you’re just close friends.
[ Sylus ]: that bad?
[ You ]: yeah. they won’t stop asking when i’ll get married.
[ You ]: it’s really pissing me off.
[ Sylus ]: lol
[ Sylus ]: well why dont you leave?
[ You ]: because i know i’ll never hear the end of it.
[ Sylus ]: hmm.
[ Sylus ]: would you like some company then?
[ You ]: 😏😏😏 what are you gonna teleport here or something?
[ Sylus ]: look up.
On cue, you glance skyward as the telltale shadow of a crow circles the ground around you. You squint your eyes against the sun’s brilliance, making out distinct iridescent feathers circling above. “Mephisto?” you suspiciously inquire.
You look down, only to be met with a familiar swatch of scarlet and white. “Sylus?!” you shriek, jumping back and clutching your pounding heart, almost having shit yourself.
He wears that customary smirk, looking so cool with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He wears a tailored, dark suit, his blazer hanging off his shoulders, ruffled by the summery breeze. “In the flesh.”
You swallow against the stickiness of your throat, wide-eyed and feeling like you’re dreaming. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Sylus examines his nails, his tone conspiratorial. “Well, I was just passing through—”
“Like hell you were!” You aim an accusatory finger at him. “We’re, like, 1,700 miles from the N109! There’s no way you’re just ‘passing through’!”
He shrugs, feigning innocence.
A few of your high schoolmates, summoned by the commotion, gather in the courtyard behind you. The crowd oohs and ahs, whispering as they study your tall, devastatingly handsome boss. One of the women asks who he is, admiration evident in his voice. You know that tone too well: if you don’t claim him, I will.
You swallow your resolve, seizing the opportunity to shut everyone up.
You sidle up to your boss with a fake smile, encircling one of his arms with both of yours, your hands wrapped around his impressive bicep. You cling to him, playing up the theatrics of a docile girlfriend. It makes you sick.
Sylus smiles down at you in your peripheral, the omniscient lift of his brow letting you know that he’s never going to let you live down what next comes from your mouth.
“This is my fiancé!” You pat his chest with a giggle pinched from your lungs, cold dread dropping into your belly.
What the hell are you even doing?
#sylus x reader#sylus x you#love and deepspace sylus#just musing#because i waste my days watching c and k-dramas#good ol' pretending to be together only to end up being together trope
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What I've learnt from the opposition that keep winning:
Radicalisation > Justification: Like a lighter igniting a wick and the flame spreads, put your thoughts & actions out there and mobilise the existing base. Many women spend too much time disproving moids claim or trying to "fix" them and not enough time on us. The right dont waste their time trying to change minds unless they're making money from it, they run off vibes. People didnt vote trump because he had an amazing campaign they voted because what he stands for could benefit them & they know it by looking at him & his history. Dont waste time getting into arguments or going onto their platforms to debate. The main times RWs spend time countering others is on their own platform where they also get paid for it. Add in inflammatory speech. Use catch phrases. I've changed minds not by directly convincing people but just doing me & speaking with convinction. I post stuff that can teether on the extreme side even when I thought I'd lose my followers. Idgaf how absurd it sounds I stand by it.
Your mistakes dont matter: based on the above point, people will still ride with you if they believe in what you stand for & it resonates with them. When their shortcomings are brought up they switch the topic. They dont come out with apology essays on why they were wrong or justifying themselves. Focus on your aim & work with people that'll advance it & ignore those who wont: The right will use whoever to get to their aim. Doesn't matter how much they disagree, if they've got a common goal they'll put other differences aside to get to it. Then the right ditches them after. Many GC "feminists" voted trump for TRA issues (even though they wouldn't work with libs for other womens issues lol). Part of why the left is so divided is because they expect all round perfection from everyone involved then the purity contests start. Speaking of the above, many of us focus on imperfections & it's not that deep.
Excuses dont matter: Roe fell during a democrat presidency. Trump elected a justice during election season even though obama was told he couldn't do the same. Regardless of who won the US elections the right would still actively be trying with their aim whereas when biden won in 2020 many got relaxed. Too much time is spent theorising & rationalising other people's actions rather than just recognising the threat and focusing on how to neuter it.
Dont underestimate the threat/enemy: Many people thought Harris would win, everywhere I looked it was trump stumbling over his shallow rallies. Trump was made out to be an idiot with no shot at winning both in 2016 & 2024. The right are called stupid but they're actually strategic; the maga slogan, trump & other RW leaders narcissistic personality that is absorbed by many, playing on people's egos, etc all played a part in their win. Another case of unestimating opposition is people claiming white women vote against their interest & were just these clueless damsels who need saving when it's actually in their interests to vote the right. This twitter thread explains it well and this tweet summarises it.
White women were not voting against their own interests. Their men are paying their bills, raising their family, and keeping them on top of a pedestal above other women. They did what needed to be done for security.
People thought that after 2016 there would be a change but nah. Even seeing this with 4B, women think it'll change maIes if they do it underestimating what would actually go down.
Get in the real world: Speaking of the above, be wary being in too deep in echo chambers.
There was another reddit post from a trump supporter that was probs deleted as I cant find it anymore but it said a similar thing. Again it seemed like Harris would win based on the news & peoples reactions online. She even had a ton of popular celebrity endorsement. It's hard & as beneficial as online spaces can be, the real world is where it matters most. Work on having money & resources for yourself and to help other likeminded women. Work on defending yourself in the real world & trying to improve the situation around you irl instead of wasting time online discourse. These things can be useful but it's easy to ingest excess amounts that delude you.
Hit 'em when they least expect it: Women have a tendency to announce their every move and tbh I'm guilty of doing this too & have made efforts to stop. MaIes strike out repeatedly when it's least expected. Dont announce to maIes how you wont be around them (thus giving them time to prepare), just do it.
Persistency & consistency is key: Despite all the hate podcasts, manosphere, PUAs get - they're persistent. Most times they dont respond to it & laugh at the haters to belittle them. They enjoy our anger & keep going. Dont overvalue the hate you get, have an agenda separate to people's validation - it will help greatly with the first point.
Win at any cost: MaIes, the right, religious people etc will do whatever it takes to win. Any violence, any bloodshed, any infrastructure toppled even if it comes with their demise they're willing to risk it all because the things they believe in give them a purpose in life and they see no purpose in the alternatives. I ain't putting it on anyone to do these things, but it does work going all in. Very few on the left or left leaning are willing to risk their lives (not just physically but even their social status) for what they believe in and would rather win by playing fair while the opposition do not care about the rules.
(Edit) Forget the logic, sometimes - Initially left this off but seriously similar to the above point just go for it. There tends to be a lot of over analysis & perfectionism when it comes to going after what we want & honestly fuck that. Despite claiming to be logical, actually the opposition just run off their feelings and go after what they want anyways (which is why there's so many double standards & holes in white/maIe supremacist logic that gets endlessly analysed but it doesn't matter in the end). These systems of oppression didn't form overnight it took numerous trial-and-error but a lot of people in our camp are so quick to give up after a setback. If women can be delulu about porn obsessed jakey they can be delulu about liberation if they want that.
Now overall I know that the world is generally dominated by conservative ideologies such as the family unit, anti abortion (until a moid wants a woman to get one), religion, capitalism, etc and have institutions & systems that have been solidified over the years to push these things which gives them a huge leg up but the above points are just things I see that additionally contribute to their success. Adopt some of these and we could move forward. This is not to praise the right nor do I think they're perfect but just simply observing what's working.
#one thing I'll say I'm proud of left leaning women doing is giving nick fuentes hell for his 'your body my choice' bs by doxxing his address#now MORE
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I want to create but I don't know what to create
#like. i want to create a physical object#ive made music#im making a video game#i want to make something i can hold#something i can feel#but what#everything costs money#or takes years to learn#i dont have time or money to spend on this#but i want to make something
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the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
#this is almost as bad as the time Lex luthor stole 40 cakes.#lex being the dc verse's elon is hilariously perfect#and gothamites are relentless so theyre probably having a field day with this#gothamites using every opportunity to dunk on metropolitans for having a shitty billionaire#the imposter accounts were run by kon and Lois lmao#the batkids are absolutely gonna impersonate each other so goodluck to bruce because the PR team's gonna be LIVID#social media au#the batkids later that day: Bruce you should totally buy tiktok#bruce: what? absolutely not im not spending money on a social media platform#batkids: but it'll make lex SO mad#bruce considering: hmm.#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#lex luthor#stephanie brown#batfamily#damian wayne#tim drake#batkids#batfam#batbros#batman#dc comics#incorrect quotes#crack#i spent an ungodly amount of time and effort on this please for the love of god dont make fun of me 😭#the script for this has literally been sitting in my drafts for over a year. i even did research on all the dates when this fiasco unfolded#texts#fanatical posting
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Chang's Muse
#fanart#comic#tintin#adventures of tintin#chang#snowy#milou#tinchang#photoset#thought id play around with formats!#this comic would only work on this platform#i love painting black and white photographs#i have a lot of annual leave booked so i thought id indulge in something shippy and silly#this exchange takes place after st benezets basement#when the dog knows what's up but these two idiots do not#im posting so much because i have time and i dont wanna go out and spend money :(
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what pains me is that it’s basically impossible to be up to date with all doctor who/torchwood lore because of the audiodramas - like, i adore them and im so grateful they exist but it’s impossible to listen to all of them so i’ll never know every single piece of lore or the complete timeline
#it’s like buying infinite dlc for a game you already payed 60€ for#i WANT to know but i dont have the time or money to spend on it#torchwood#doctor who#rant#big finish
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cats attending a yacht party as if they werent at booze garden at 1am the same day is so incredibly-
also matthew MATTHEW THAT SHIRT. THAT SHIRTTTTT. WHAT IS THAT.
6.29.24 (x)
#matthew tkachuk#sam bennett#aaron ekblad#anton lundell#florida panthers#the fun game of spot the cat#im pretty sure thats stenny mikksy forsy and lundy in the water and please dont ask me how i can tell those pixels apart#it looks like theres also a stolie and uvis on the yacht as well#also ever since we've won the cup i think benny has forgotten what a shirt is#stolie does like that teal little boardshort huh#these men make a lot of money and they use it for. making bad shirts.#blessed be the eyes that see ekky shirtless#BLESSED BE THE EYES THAT SEE STENNY SHIRTLESS#theyre just having a fun little yacht party oh girls just wanna fun splish splashing in the bay#on another episode of lets cross intercounty lines#i think its funny tracking how much time they spend in transportation personally#like everywhere they go IF they go by car is always usually 45 minutes because they keep going from broward to dade to broward again to dade#girl i could never but ig when you're promised drinks youll do anything eh
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everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.
how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.
how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.
how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.
how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.
and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.
#yes bringing this back bc at the time i didn't tag it properly#okay im gonna complain in here now.#need... to... draw... something... but i dont... have the strength..#drawing on my phone is so exhausting but i have no other option#bc i think my traditional art is not very polishedddd and i dont want to answer asks with ittttt#but maybe i will#bc i think i'm really getting to that burnout#and giving how my bday is getting closer and closer....#i dread it. but hey. cake. money. i'll get a new piercing#i WILL cry ofc but hey. maybe someone will buy me tea as a gift. who knows.#i just want to spend some time with someone yknow:(#just... talk. about anything. sit beside eachother and stare off into the waters#i hope the snow will melt soon because i want to go out more even if by myself#gonna find a job when summer comes... maybe talking to colleagues and all that will help... everythings gonna be fine.. i hope#i just need friends. god.#microtya's kids#microtya: gavriil#monsterfucker#monster fucker#monster x human#monster boyfriend#monster lover#teratophillia#god x human#monster smut
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(while i am crumbling into pieces from cramp pain)
back when they announced the totk masterworks book i said i wasnt happy about it bc it would either
prove they thought all this was good from the start and everything went as planned
show us that they had unbelievable better ideas and plans but for some unknow reason scrapped it all
as it stands now with the concepts i have seen ... they somehow did both, some things seemed to have been planned fro mthe start (the whole focus on sonau/zonai stuff for example, which i personally just dont like bc i liked them better as an unkown mystery you never get to meet) and other stuff (like ganondorfs concepts, or the infinitely cooler castle in the sky esque concepts for the sky islands, instead of some nonsensical, meaningless little stone crumbs) was much, much more interesting initially (together with the interviews that said they initially planned to have the battery be a magic meter and make the sonau more magic than tech- but then decided to build their stuff around modern electrical devices just so players would immediately know what it was an what it would do -why????? thats so boring?? and unecessary ?? and they still give you tutorials for it anyway, multiple times??!!- for some ungodly reason)
it makes me more and more sure that this game, that took 6 years to make with most assets already being there (the same time that botw took to make?????????), went through a similar development hell as that one final fantasy game did where the director decided to make it an entirely different game every few weeks bc he saw something cool in another game-
its the only thing that makes sense to me, why else would it be so weirdly ... unfinished, its full of grand ideas badly executed, or like i said in a previous post, like an alpha build (weird! did someone in charge also see cool stuff every few months and decide they wanted it in there too no matter what so everyone had to scramble to try and put it in making the whole jenga tower fall over and over??), just to test how far you can push things, with placeholders everywhere, the same cutscene pasted in where another should be and a placeholder reason to get players to go soemwhere (fake zelda) and rough ideas for puzzles etc, that was never finished, jsut highly polished (in looks, sounds and presentation) in hopes of it being 'good enough' or players not noticing (like, take the underground for example, the idea itself is fantastic and cool as fuck, but its feels like an idea that was never finished and just barely fileld with some things to try and cover up the fact that it was never done, like a statue that wasnt done being carved but ran out of time so they painted it anyway- take the base map and invert it, put some easily accessible points of jumping down into it in random spots to test if the game can handle it- no time left to actually get that idea anywhere more specific and well thought out/put together, so its left like that, put the same texture everywhere, barely modified copies of the same enemies, and some little reward spots that make no sense, modelling three types of trees and an enemy camp is way quicker to do than actually making an entire new map (they didnt have to make it the same size btw, just make it big but unique caves, put the gravity effect down there in enclosed spaces! makes it less weird to have randomly happen in the sky! etc) but its there!! its in the game and if they are lucky most players wont go down there enough to notice how meaningless and unfinished it all is)
knowing they would most likely never admit to it though, probably bc of their reputation, is just addign to the frustrations i have with it :I
(i just hate to not know the reason for things, if the devs, who are usually the ones being worked to the bone for things they know arent good, where put through that bc some executive big shot threw their tables around every so often or neglected their project bc they wanted to focus on something else first ... id like to know, i dont enjoy making up these conspiracy (?) theories .......... but i cant shake this feeling, its jsut makes no sense)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#totk critical#i do wonder ......... if mr freedom good linear bad had some brainworms about what he wanted#bc he really did sound like he wanted some sort of minecraft like game of endless possibility#that just doesnt work if you try to put it in an exisitng world that was never built for that#so many WHYs#and yes it IS possible to combine both old and new zelda#imo they had the best opportunity with totk to do that bc of the feedback from botw#but they did like ... the exact opposite to those criticisms- doubling down on all of that was bad in botw#or only changing it on a sruface level so you think they did it when they absolutely did not#im sorry i do hate making wild theories about these kinds of things#but this just makes no sense at all to me!! this cant have been the best outcome a giant company can do with the sequel to their best-#-selling game yet IN THE SAME TIME THEY TOOK TO DEVELOPE THE ENTIRETY OF BOTW#.......... how do i aquire the german version of the totk masterworks without having to pay for it .... i dont want to spend any money on i
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i genuinely dont get how so many people are uncritically excited for The Movie and have no issue with anything going on here i feel like im losing my mind a little bit . the trailers did not look good to me at all is everyone excited about it posting from an alternate dimension or something what are people seeing in this movie that im not .
#and i say this as someone whos standards are usually not that high and can have fun with most sonic media and liked the first 2 movies......#all i can feel is disappointment at how bad a job theyre doing at adapting sa2 and the disservice to certain characters/concepts#(obviously thats just based on the trailers i havent seen the movie and refuse to spend money on it so i cant give afull judgement#but the trailers certainly dont give a very good impression of the movie to me)#and before anyone says that its not an sa2 movie.theyre taking a lot of plot points and characters from sa2#and taking a lot of stuff from sa2 and using it in the marketing and such#they cant do all that and then go ''um actually its not an sa2 movie youre crazy for expecting an sa2 movie LOL''#i also wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 either i would have bene fine with changes#but stuff like having gerald be alive and take rouge's spot in the dark story trio and making him a more comedic character#is ridiculous and feels inherently disrespectful to the source material#and thats not even getting into how it feels like im always hearing about some new awful thing#that paramount or one of the actors did which just makes me not wanna give them my money or time even more#sighhh i honestly just want this all to be over alerady and for the hype to die down so ican stop hearing about the movie#but i know its going to make one billion dollars and theyre just going to make more movies after this. hell on earth .
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Yes im posting about commissions again, sue me lmao. Dont have an official post for em yet anyway
But yeah! Trying to get money for a tablet to draw in bed with, hopefully. And maybe to spoil the pets. So, commissions. Decided that doing them wasn't the worst, so i've opened up more options that aren't locked to slugcats. Headshots and fullbodies. Not completely sure about fullbody prices just yet, i might raise em if i feel its warranted. Shall be seen
But yeah gimmie your guys to draw. Especially good at murder cats (thank you warrior cats phase)
I can make your cats into little fuckin creatures like this. Its my favourite activity. Mine and sponty's cats btw
Ive actually got quite a few doodles of em, i should share em more
#reb commissions#would very much like to draw in the comfort of bed#for whatever reason sitting down at laptop has been very eugh#makes me instantly lose motivation a lot of the time#which is sad as i rather like drawing gay robots and the suffering they go through#ive technically got most of the money i need#i just like having a nice buffer in the bank yknow#dont like spending it all at once#especially not on electronics and other non essential things#might try to open up custom oc comms at some point as well#but we'll see about that#since that takes a lot of mental energy
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the posts about pw buying that spongebob kaws painting for 2 million dollars are funny except he didnt buy it for 2 million dollars. the nyt article that features pete standing next to "grr" was published in december 2016. the painting was sold at auction for 2.1 million in november 2019. three years AFTER the original photo was taken. he SOLD it for 2 million dollars. or somebody did <3
#look i dont doubt pete is spending ridiculous money on art and erewhon sushi#but he's got mouths to feed!!! tuition to pay!!!! et paintings to commission!!!!#imo he bought that painting in 2008 for a couple thousand bc i can't find any other records of it being on sale at another point in time#sorry i have actual better things i should be doing instead of thinking about this. so of course i'm thinking about this
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drawings ive done this week for a competition!! probably the most ambitious thing ive drawn in my new style but im very happy with them! :3
#mine#original#u hve no idea how small my brain is now#i will probably take th rest of the week off ough#i hope everyone is having a good time#im having a medium time but. i am getting there#ive ordered new prints!!!!! should be getting here next week i thnky#i need 2 order more business cards. my favourite thing to spend money on#its actually beginning to get sunny and warm so i will sit in the garden and read!!#im reading like. a murder mystery thing. its Just Okay#i read 'in memoriam' by alice somebody recently and OH BOY#i dont rlly know what im in the mood for book wise after this one....i might read the ninth rain ? ive heard good stuff abt it#part of me wants to read warrior cats bc i never read it as a kid but i think i'll b rlly autistic abt it so i am resisting currently#also i had porridge for breakfast this morning n put frozen blueberries in it n it made it purple....truly there is love in the world
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Is this canon? Technically no.
Is it even In character? Absolutely not!
Do I care? Not really!
Locus is my blorbo and i can put him in annoying situations, like having a small squad of annoying but just-good-enough-to-not-kill-them Feds, if i want to
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb locus#my art#batsy art#samuel ‘locus’ ortez#rvb oc: the clovers#necoda ‘neko’ micce#anton pavoz#neko looks tall when he’s next to anton and ivia#but he’s like barely 5’6 so when you stick him next to 6’2 locus#anton: ive seen his chest plate more than his helmet#ivia: you can see his chest plate? (shes 5’ even she cant see shit)#i dont have the spoons to work on my bigger pieces bc i have commissions coming up which yay money#but it means i need to consolidate my art energy for a bit and my brain is like nooo my blorbos#in the words of the fave: unfortunate!#i need to get paid tho#so instead: silly doodle time#little guys#no ivia bc i only had a small corner of my sketchbook left and she didnt fit sorry bestie#in my heart shes off helping dr grey she doesnt really get a lot of spare time to spend w her boys until the armies merge#and the medic population doubles#so do the soldiers but theyre consolidated now at the pirates shoot to kill with much better aim so…ya know#batsy do u ever not ramble in your tags? no this is my stream of thought for future me#and anyone bored enough to actually read my tags#i still have beef with the prefect helmet i hate drawing it i love its look im punting it into the sun
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Isn't this just the funniest thing. "For a chance to promote Hawkules". Companion promotions are the new thing to grind and gamble on I suppose
#heres the thing about me#i do not like grinding. i dont have the time for it#which is why i dont have good gear (lol)#but its also why im just not doing this stupid thing#unless my brother feels like getting on and we both spend money for the *chance* here#i miss the traditional companion promo quests like ik we arent gonna get them without a story update#but making a promo this chance battle you need keys and money for#and not even a quest like scratch's promotion#is just ? to me
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