#i dont feel great and probably never have | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crocmr · 16 hours

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bye-bye

I think ima say my goodbyes and stuff and ima jump up outta here

I'm not gonna share too much but I might just deactivate my account here. I think it will be good and stuff, see yall later😋

#last post #i dont feel great and probably never have #it was fun while it lasted fr

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hinamie · 4 months

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atla!au designs part 3 !! one of these things is uh. not like the others

first year trio gojo/choso/nanami

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fanart #jjk fanart #jjk atla!au #geto suguru #yuta okkotsu #mahito #lmhs #atla!au: design #squints at mahito i think i might b trying a bit too hard fr preliminary designs.......#they keep getting progressively more detailed OOPS #atla!au: art #i feel like no one will complain tho so ! anywayyyyy #thank u hisuian zoroark fr ur weird hair n bad posture. stole that 2 put on this freak n gave him some soul orb hair ties #idk if his design adheres very faithfully to anything that can be considered atla canon....but i like it so much ok sue me #i would unironically like mahito more if he looked like this #let him lean more Monster.......pl..pls.......#dont dig too deep into that statement . anyway.#this whole page is full of chars i just Never draw but i dont have a least favourite here ???? all of them look rly good imo??#waterbender garb suits geto's design so well he gave me No trouble #yuuta on th other hand i was Concerned for on account of th aforementioned Orange on a very monochrome char in jjk canon #but i think i made it work? he looks great in th tattoos also??????#maybe th rumors r true and im good at what i do GHFGHGHL #(oh ya after mahito i didnt want to draw Another monster-spirit so i omitted rika but she exists. probably looks similar 2 canon also!)#(sighs ill deal w her later. priorities !!!!)

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capricores · 4 months

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just heard my mom yell "NOOOOOO" super dramatically from upstairs, i ran up asking her what's wrong and she goes "the guy i'm talking to just said he's an aquarius" and we both yelled nooooo again in unison. LMAAO i taught her so well ugh

#luna.txt #her and i always bonded over our worst/most traumatic bf being aquarians LMAO #btw i love aquarians (one of my besties is aqua) even aqua men i always get along great with!!!#i just would not wanna ever have a crush on/date one again if i can help it LMAO #i have to put this warning bc for some reason aqua.. is the only sign on here where anytime i roast them #i get at least two aquas in my ask guilt tripping me and asking why ihate them #but anyway... taurus men... cancer men (maybe)...leo men.. thats probably the only men i would date #(if i were to be in a dating phase again)#taurus men are the best but leo men are so... phew #cancer men ive never dated but i just feel like they mesh well w my chart (if we're basing only on their sun)#aries men intrigue me as well but ive never spoken to one #girls tho? all of them. i dont care what ur chart is. if ur pretty and cool just marry me ill figure it out #LMAO #i wouldnt actually rule anyone out bc their chart btw but lol

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waywardsalt · 3 months

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with my phantom hourglass replay, there are two things i noticed;

a possible theme you could glean from the game is action vs inaction, and i think it's especially prevalent before you even leave mercay the first time, with oshus frequently urging link to not go after the ghost ship, then to just wait until the broken bridge is fixed, and seems reluctant at every turn while link and ciela are more than eager to go and do something about this problem, and the people of mercay in general talking about things and their problems but never seeming to act on their fears or desires, as well as the mention that due to the ghost ship, very very few people are still sailing around, while linebeck is one of the only people we see in the game actively going after the ghost ship and still sailing around. i might make a longer post just talking more about the action vs inaction in phantom hourglass but i just noticed it a bit and thought it was a bit of an interesting sort of theme you could find in the game.

linebeck moves so fucking much. i think he moves more than any npc in the rest of the game. not just in his intro cutscene where he is very animated, just in how much he moves when just standing in his little idle post, it's damn near distracting when the camera is focused on him, he moves a lot. i don't think i've really acknowledged how much he moves, and it really gives the impression that he's antsy or eager to get going, both of which fit him pretty well with how he acts.

#phantom hourglass #linebeck #loz #legend of zelda #salty talks #imo the action vs inaction thing feels esp interesting to me when looking at oshus specifically. he and his world are in grave danger #and he knows it and he actively does nothing and even seems reluctant to let ciela and link go ahead and do something.#of course he comes around on it but it's very interesting. has he given up at that point? thats what it suggests to me #that hes like. joined the people of mercay in just lying down and waiting for other people to fix their problems or just. not do anything #otherwise on mercay you have that old guy in the bar who spends the whole game not leaving bc he doesnt want to face his wife #and she never goes to the bar to actually look for him and just talks about it if anything #the guy with the blue tunic talks a lot about linebeck and his ship and almost gives the impression that he really wants to talk to him #but yknow. doesnt. theres the women that tells you about docks being shut down and how linebeck is the only person who's showed up #the woman you see at the broken bridge who's just like oh well! time to wait til someone fixes it.#even the guy fixing the bridge iirc is like well fuck i gotta do it or else oshus is going to bitch at me abt it #everyone seems reluctant to act which makes for an interesting way in how our main crew stands out #it is less so oh theyve been chosen specifically for this its moreso they're the ones who are fucking doing something about this #for their own various reasons some of which are more selfish but theyre still doing something #will likely have more stuff to say when im done but ofc we have other characters in the game who have to do with this #anyways. linebeck is so animated all of the fucking time it's great i dont think theres any other character that moves as much as him #when he's just standing around to talking to link it's great. he's so ready to get going.#it works with him being an anxious mess and also with like. oh he's probably understimulated. you know he's got a nasty case of wanderlust #i can put it with the idea that he's understimulated and afraid to stim in public so he's just constantly moving #he probably drums his fingers on tables bounces his leg when sitting paces around switches the way he sits or lays down often #tbh this kinda fits in with him being one of the main characters who takes action moreso than a lot of other characters #his arc culminates in him taking action he's going after the ghost ship he's moving around the world the only issue is that one of the #actions he takes is running away from his problems literally n metaphorically (tho idk if facing the jolene problem is a good idea for him)

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bluehexagone · 3 months

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Realism is fun till it isn’t and I realize I’ve already committed too far and can’t just scrap it but I know it will take me too long so here are some sacrifices you may see finished later on

#dragon #myart #creature #I still generally have inspiration for the first one so that one will probably get finished first #I really like watching the speedpaints procreate automatically records even though it’s crunchy and has a weird green tint #specifically on realism because it’s wild for anything else and is actually psychotic #Mostly because I just suddenly start experimenting with brushes and start turning layers off and on for a good chunk of it #I use 3 layers usually for realism #One for the actual drawing one for the sketch and one for a base color #It makes it better I think because it’s more similar to actual painting or something #That might not be the reason I dont really know #It’s just better I do it that way #Maybe because I can’t get distracted and lost?#Realism is also a great source of learning for me #Even if i never really finish stuff like this #I might this time though who knows #Sorry for leaving you guys stranded I’m chasing a really big train across the country #My priorities are with locomotives #“You guys” (I say to my very few followers 🤑🤑 (that probably followed me in the first place for dragon adventures stuff))#I do what I want and what I want is not dragon adventures right now #Right now I want locomotive #I’m not hijacking that train it sounds like I’m going to hijack that train #however #i would appreciate owning a big train I feel like I would enjoy that #Side note how do my DA followers feel about the genetic traits in the event eggs making motorouk w/ the error trait worth like 100mil #I feel ill when I can recite all of the full species names from memory #It does make sense though I’ve been playing since the first event in 2019 #I’m committed what can I say #Almost forgot a tag oops #art

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angy-grrr · 2 months

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There is gonna be more than that coming from the poll, but whatever it is vote Kacchan/Deku for best hero. Idc who wins i just need them to be together again

if they just announced it today without saying anything before, I would probably immediately do it.

Right now im just bitter because of the hype -I thought it would at least slightly relate to the actual story (adaptations of other stories, extra content for the volume which once again may I remind everyone is extremely short, almost half what a manga volume usually looks which is a huge problem).

This disappointed me extremely, as its not even related to any content from the manga beyond the characters it uses. I get that many ppl will work on this, and that artist will get excited over being able to get the spotlight, some will be able to ask specific questions, and a character will get a statue and a movie.

Still extremely disappointed because of the "special project will be announced on the 5th *wink wink*".

I can't feel excitement over it as, in my mind, I lost something that felt better -more content related to the story. So at best this would be "oh cool I can try it", a feeling pretty similar to the other announcements -not my favorite thing in the world, but I wont reject it and try to see what comes out of it.

This isnt at best to me right now

#grrr talking #grrr being a hater #literally one of the special things was already announced -the fan book #bc im feeling negative I will say negative stuff here so beware #as far as I saw the fan book is a way of getting another product without paying artists #and days before we already knew it would happen #the statue thing feels like the art exhibition like okay thats cool still doesnt compare to more stories like at all #and I will never see any of that in person ever so why would I get extra happy about that?#I know this is an homage so we can feel like we are closer to their world and all but the statues have a bad connotation there #vote so we can see the protagonist and the deuteragonist in a movie #im sorry why do we need to massively vote so they get content? they are literally the most important characters #and what would even be the movie about? For all I know they could do whatever they wanted with the characters #a movie based on who the most popular character is... great. unless passionate ppl are involved in the project it doesnt sound like a good #a good story could come out of it #as its based on who is most popular among voters not an actual story the characters need #so unless 278 characters already have backstories and stuff planned that would get explored in a movie #i dont trust what they could do with this #and I dont want to give them my hope. They didnt need to make an announcement for the announcement #that only has made me feel super bitter #will I get over it later in the day? probably #I still want to express myself #the only thing in my mind about using this opportunity is still bitter lmao #just asking why didnt you make them hold hands #because I can try to justify it with my own theories #but that doesnt mean anything now does it

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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🦈2

#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be #more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own #but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o #what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed #yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd #i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me #i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that #so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is #i will always love him simply bc he is who he is #he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me #and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i #but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful #person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things #wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything #so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h #but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is #there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have #to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much #.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered #and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms

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end-orfino · 5 months

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ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something #but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized.#and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this-#-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace-#-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller #which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this #and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely #oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it-#-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart #so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it.#fun./sar #i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to #because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get-#-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of #its probably the resilience though #im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically #this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it #just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear #it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over.#i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts #this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement.#its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every-#-time achievement #what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past.#even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again #if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa

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munamania · 8 months

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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

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cavity-collector · 27 days

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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me #i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum #my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation #depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man #theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please #i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good #but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great #i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to #actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die #i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless #i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something #probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so #ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left #ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this #an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways #no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil #because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good #idk what im saying anymore #someone shoot me #please im not kidding #just make it stop #tw vent #tw sui #delete later

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wingstobetorn · 1 month

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I am still so confused on whether I'm asexual or not.

#i mean... sometimes the thought of stuff like that makes me wanna gag a bit #ive never had my first kiss and im indifferent to the idea #but im not really... repulsed? i know its a spectrum btw #but ive never liked any labels for myself aside from bisexual #so maybe i identify with the label a bit but probably won't be using it???#ill figure it out at some point #my posts #not talking about asexuality here but on the topic of labels #the only one i feel a strong connection to is bi #like. i have a weird gender that changes. but i dont like using any specific labels #even though I know im technically genderfluid #but ill never refer to myself as that. im literally just some guy #people who use lots of labels are great and cool btw but most of them just arent for me #i am all of me or whatever the hell that hedgehog said

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autisticlee · 1 month

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no one on the bumble friends app is giving me what I need/am looking for. so it's making me want to give up and delete the app. it exhausts me to do small talk with one person a week even if it only lasts for less than a day before they stop responding. I don't know what to do after that or when i'm allowed to move past it??? I know small talk is important to people so i'm trying to please them with a "proper" first impression but i'm still failing. no one ever told me what to do after that. I don't feel connected to them at all! and they obviously don't feel connected to me at all with the way they don't seem to be trying.

none of these people know how to lead. they don't do what I need them to do. maybe they're in the same predicament as me? they barely respond and don't initiate things. I need people that will lead and guide me through things since I don't know what to do! the type of people that know what they're doing and get you hyped because you just need to follow along and know everything will work out and be fine because they got this! the problem is, these types of people always already have a ton of friends and make them easily. they aren't the ones on these friend making apps. they don't need them! it's only us awkward, lonely weirdos who don't know how to interact with each other.

it's supposed to be an app to try to meet up with people irl. can any of these people plan a meetup for me?! why do I have to do all the work when i'm not capable of doing it in the first place??? I made two groups and a few people joined but I have no clue how to plan a meetup. that's much responsibility and don't have the spoons for that. someone needs to help me organize everything, but no one volunteered when I asked. i'm so lost and confused and exhausted and don't think i'll ever make friends 😭😭😭😭

#friendship problems #small talk #adult autism #autistic #autism #actually autistic #bumble bff #has anyone actually had success on that app? it feels pointless. i hate the whole swiping thing and small talk #and most people are bad at their profiles. they dont give me any info about themselves #or their profile just kinda sucks and i could be missing out on an actual good person/friend because they answered everything sarcastically #and didnt even try when filling out their profile. or what if someone rejects mine because of one thing i put and they misnudge me #there was one person that was exactly what i want but never heard from them because i originally had my profile set for cosplay friends #then changed it for summer activities friends and that person probably rejected me before i chamged it. i hate this #if it was a social media type thing where we can stalk accounts and have more context before being forced to do uncomfy small talk #or lose the chance to go back after rejection and possibly making a mistake...#i got 0 likes in a week when i had cosplay pics. then i removed them and got 30 in a week. how many great people have rejected me?#dumb useless app. but i have no other choices. theres no clubs and groups i can find near me. im too autistic for “normal” things

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berrymeter · 2 months

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these wealthy bitches need to shut the fuck up abt my mother basically. if youre not helping me financially i dont want to hear shit from you. maybe ill let you speak a word or two if you give me 10k each but life is not so shrimple. due to your evil greedy hearts

#thistle.txt #THEY are the reason my great grandmother died. to me. feel free to say im exaggerating but they never traveled north to see her #it was always her doing the traveling. & she got sick while traveling to see them. & that precipitated her death. their fault.#& the moment she died they immediately made the decision to sell her house. my grandmother didnt want to do it that fast #it all always felt so evil to me truly. in part bc they guilted my mother for not visiting my great grandmother more before she died #but like we spent a whole year away from the city & we dont really have money. THEY do. THEY never visited her.#points. evillllll! die in a hole for all i care! give me your moneyyyyy #truly i only dont actively burn bridges in case of needing emergency money atp if shit gets Really bad #but honestly? honestly. my friends would help me much sooner than them. & my friends have far less ability to do so #i probably could sooner find shelter at a friend's parents' than at my own family's

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year

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just put my snake in his newly refurbished enclosure and he's doing laps <333

#i love him sm #he's the one i have anxious pet neglect dreams about and im just glad i finally put his new shit in #lotsa thick aspen to dig in and a bigger water bowl bc hes a grown man and a new hide etc etc #my beautiful beautiful boyyyyy #well the anxious pet neglect dreams aren't About him so much as they started when i got him #they usually involve me suddenly getting like 8 new pets that i dont have the spoons or knowledge for so im always letting them down #not my favorite experiences not my most pleasant dreams #but he's zoomin!!!! hes been pretty stationary lately and i think some of thats him getting older but i think the new stuff'll help make him #more comfy regardless #plus the water bowl's big enough that he can soak in it now if he wants :3 #he'll probably go back to just kinda sittin soon bc he's getting near a shed #poor guy cant see all that well rn and thats never a fun time to take him outta the tank. i feel bad :(#ooh he's up in the hammock hehe #thats the last thing he hasnt checked out yry #he likes that thing but its suction cups arent great #omg hes so sillyyyyy hehehhehe #baby man. baby. boyo

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sabalr · 2 months

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Tagged by: @mellophase my beautiful moot ❤️

Tagging: @flyin-shark and @nehiyaw-pwat ❤️

You guys can copy it from under the cut :>

#* yes I know more than two but you know what I mean. the two cis-ish ones.#also also I do have a bias for norse myths but I love all mythology a lot!!#viking mythilogy? egyptian mythology? greek mythology? who cares GIVE ME MONSTERS GODDAMN IT #sorry for the little notes #I felt like this needed some shaking up now and then to stay interesting and yall know I love to talk hahaha #got the copyable under the cut so yall dont have to erase my comments one by one :]#tag game #ask game #thank you mello aaaaaaa 😭😭😭😭#and you two! you are great! i will wait for your answers ❤️#shark I know you probably get tagged a lot so sorry for another one lol #nehiyaw I never see you do these so feel free not to if you don't wanna! but I thought you might appreciate it ❤️#i freaking love my moots HNNNNNNN

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findstenicht · 5 months

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why is there no way to reverse major life decisions. i should be able to go "actually nevermind" and just pretend it never happened with zero negative consequences

#nina.txt #i feel like ive complained about this a million times already so dont mind me #but. god i dont want to graduate. the job market is. not great? i mean could be worse but its also not good. not good at all #and yk back when i started my BA i was already fully aware that this field isnt the *greatest* career-wise and that id need to be pretty #flexible about potential jobs but. i dont think this is going to work out at all #i shouldve done something else. like programming or something. why on earth did i commit to this #i mean. ok its probably not hopeless but its just. making me so incredibly anxious #idk. ill just postpone actually starting on my thesis forever. dont have to actually look for a job if i simply never graduate #bulletproof plan. no downsides whatsoever 👍

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