#not talking about asexuality here but on the topic of labels

[wingstobetorn]

I am still so confused on whether I'm asexual or not.

[chronicbeans]

Queerplatonic Alastor x Reader Headcanons

Hehe my plan of writing headcanons for various Aroace-spec identity Alastor headcanons has begun. This one is with a cupioromantic and asexual Alastor in mind. I haven't seen enough of them, and as they say! "If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself."

TW: Frustrations regarding romantic identity, complete unawareness of certain LGBTQ+ topics (my man's from the 1920's, he's almost completely in the dark), slight yandere behavior? (I feel he's just obsessive by default, regardless of the relationship type)

• So, this man has never necessarily identified himself with any sort of LGBTQ+ labels. Back in his day, there weren't any terms to use for being asexual or aromantic. At least, not any that he knew of. He's always been comfortable with his sexuality, though! His main thought process was always "I'll probably find someone that I'm attracted to at some point, and if I don't, that's alright." That thought process has also followed him down to Hell, and stayed the same for all these years.

• However... Whilst he's very comfortable with his sexuality... His romantic feelings are very complicated, now. He's always desired to have one, and he's very confused as to why he hasn't felt any romantic attraction, yet. It makes sense that someone who wants a romantic relationship to be able to feel romantic attraction, yes? He's very much in the dark to the complexities of how these things really work, mostly due to him being from the 1920s-30s. He's caught up on slang and technology, but he hasn't bothered to keep up with sexualities and romantic identities, as he doesn't think about them much.

• So, does he ask any more modern demons and sinners for help? Ha! No. He's too prideful, and simply assumes that there probably isn't much of a difference in knowledge on romantic attraction as compared to his day. Yes, he's aware that there's way more identities for sexualities. People talk about them often, and he hears terms thrown around here and there as he walks through Hell. He never hears anything in regards to romance, though. It's simply not talked about as often, from his experience. So, he's completely in the dark. If anything, he's probably completely unaware that there are identities for romantic attraction.

• He does what he can to cope. This whole situation is very frustrating for him. However, at the same time, he thinks that it shouldn't be so frustrating. So, it's embarrassing to him, and he doesn't tell anyone about it. Instead, he does what he believes everyone who is single and ready to mingle does: reading romance novels. More specifically, he flips to parts where said attraction is described, or little scenarios that he wants is going on. Restaurant dates, walking through the park, dancing, holding hands and cuddling. Those sorts of things! Things nobody would ever expect someone as unhinged as him would want...

• The most frustrating part, however, is that he feels he should already be feeling such an attraction to you. You, being his most close friend. You're the one he trusts with certain secrets, one of the few people he doesn't mind touching him unprompted (besides, say, Niffty), and probably the only person he lets his smile down around. Though, he rarely does so, as he doesn't want to worry you. Unlike Niffty, who he sees as having a more familial feeling towards, he sees you as a close friend. His closest friend, but just a close friend, which frustrates him to no end.

• It takes him a long time to even think of mentioning it to someone. However, when he does, he'd feel too awkward to bring it up to you. So, he decides to speak to Charlie about it! After all, she has one of the more "modern" relationships. So, she probably also knows something about whatever is going on with him! And after the long and grueling process of talking to her? He comes out even more frustrated than before. Being unable to feel romantic attraction, but still want romance? Cupioromantic? It is all so confusing. However, he won't question it. He's clearly out of his zone, and he was horribly wrong when assuming the world of romance hadn't progressed...

• You, however, are his most trusted friend. His closest friend. So, he decides to waste no time in deciding to propose an idea to you. He's heard of these things called "queerplatonic relationships", and his understanding is that they are like friendships, but with some more traditionally romantic interactions involved. Which, whilst his understanding of the nature of queerplatonic relationships may be a bit off, he's trying his best. Once you explain it a bit further, emphasizing that they're closer relationships than friendships, but not romantic and can vary widely in affectionate interactions, he is immediately is set on trying to start one with you. Luckily, though, you agree rather quickly.

• Despite him wanting many of your interactions and ways of showing affection to be more traditionally romantic, such as cuddling or going out on friendly dates, he won't cross any boundaries. Both because you're his closest, most prized relationship with another person, and because he can't think of many other people who would even be willing to enter such a relationship with him if he ever asked. Not that he'd want to ask anyone else. There's a reason why he immediately went to you. It's hard for him to describe it, though. Despite being a man of words, whenever he tries to explain why he feels like you are the perfect person for him to enter this queerplatonic relationship with, he stumbles heavily.

• His little ideal for this relationship is, essentially, the types of things he's read in the romance novels he has. Sure, a little bit of a twisted version of it, but at it's core it's the same. He wants to cuddle in a nice, safe, and warm room (while there's probably the screams of an extermination going on the background). He wants to go to restaurants (this man's a cannibal so check your food). He wants to do the cheesy move of handing you red roses and candy as a gift (do not ask how he was able to buy such an expensive brand, or where the two large, heavy trash bags came from or what they are filled with).

• He's going to be very, VERY protective of you. Almost, if not completely to an obsessive degree. He knows how Hell is. People want power, and he's powerful, and you are close to him. He's sure many people are going to go after you, in order to get to him. So, your little relationship is going to be as well protected of a secret as it can be, at first, until he believes he can properly protect you from any danger. And after the secret is out, he's going to be right by your side the entire time. Literally. Whenever he can be, he's next to you. Nobody, except maybe Vox or another pesky overlord, is going to try to hurt you as long as he is there. Even then, he could completely destroy them, anyways!

[aliteralactualfactualgremlin]

I will never understand the oddly specific hatred certain queer groups get

Like why are so many people like “ugh I could never date a bisexual” “bi women are just too promiscuous for me” “bi men gross me out like just say you’re gay”

Genuinely wtf are you talking about???

Bi people are awesome have you met one of those little fuckers?

People anywhere on the asexual and or aromantic spectrums?

If you can’t see how they’re queer I’m sorry but you’re actually blind cause I don’t think you realize just how pervasive amatonormativity is in our society

Trans people??? (this also includes trans men as this bitch right here HATES transmisandry)

What could possibly be cooler than rejecting your mortal flesh for one that better reflects your internal reality?

Metal as fuck and they’re also just epic people in general cause it takes a lot to recognize what you were told was true your whole life was actually a lie

Individuals with contradictory labels?

Gender and sexuality are such complex multilayered topics with so much room for subtlety and nuance so sorry their experience doesn’t fit into neat little boxes for you

Once again, incredible individuals

And people who use neo pronouns are awesome too!

Language is often highly limiting to queer expression and a whole group of people really said “NAH FUCK THAT”

Like how can you not love the queer community man? We have people out here expressing themselves why the hell would you be mad about something so cool?

Queer people are genuinely so awesome and if I catch any of you guys forgetting that I WILL come and find you 🫵

[faithisyours]

Something to Tell

Azriel x Ace Fem!reader

Summary: You and Azriel are recently mated. You decide to take things slow, but you have something personal to tell Az.

Warnings: coming out, fluff

Word Count: 965

A/N: Sup y’all. Sorry I’ve been absent, a lot of shit happened. Anyways, I really just wrote this one for me. I think the topic of asexuality is really left out of this book series and fandom, understandably so, but I think it would be an interesting subject to discuss, so I’m here to fulfill my own wishes. Given the lore and rules around mates, I don't even know if this could be considered a thing, but I’m gonna try my hardest to make it a thing for my ace baddies out there. IDK if I’m gonna make this a series or not (probably won’t), but maybe see how people like it before making decisions. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to tell me. As always, minors gtfo. Adults, you enjoy!

You’re just finishing up bottling an allergy tonic for your neighbor’s son when the door to your apothecary opens, the bell above ringing out. You know exactly who it is, and you are simultaneously filled with dread and relief. Azriel, your freshly bonded mate, walks into the back room where you are working, his big Illarian boots creaking the floorboards wherever he steps. When you look up to greet him he gives you a soft smile, a smile you return.

You’ve known Azriel for a little over a year now, ever since Mor begged him to come pick up her sleeping tonic from you because she had been busy. But the bond haden’t snapped for either of you until roughly a month ago, when you were out drinking at Rita’s with the inner circle, per Nesta’s invite. Over the years you had grown close with the inner circle, specifically Mor and Nesta. What had started out as small talk when they came to pick up a tonic had blossomed into a beautiful friendship.

But the last thing in the world you had wanted to happen was to form a bond with someone, especially someone as good and sweet and caring as Azriel. Sure, he is beautiful, you of all people can see that, but the physical attraction stops there, like it always does. Emotionally you two are very compatible, sharing similar interests in books, music, and dancing. After the bond had snapped you both decided to take things slowly, moreso for your sake than his. Every day you grow more and more in love with him; you’re just terrified to see the disappointment and confusion in his eyes after you tell him you’re ace.

“Almost ready to go, Love?” Azriel asks, his eyes following the skilled movements of your hands.

“Almost done,” you respond, screwing the cap and writing the label onto the bottle quickly. You buss your wok table, putting away ingredients and empty bottles. You look over everything twice more, checking for anything out of place, but also as a means to stall. You are dreading this conversation.

“Looks good, Love. Want me to grab your coat?” You turn to him, a small smile on your lips, and grab his hand, gently cradling it in yours.

“Actually… Can I talk to you for a minute before we leave? I need to tell you something.”

“Ya, of course,” he squeezes your hand gently, reassuringly. “What’s up?” You take a deep breath and guide him to sit in one of the chairs at your work table, then pull one towards yourself so you're sitting in front of him. You take both his hands in yours. You don’t make eye contact but instead stare at your hands intertwined.

“There’s something I need to tell you about myself and I need you to listen and let me explain before you say anything,” you look up to see him nodding, a look of concern and confusion on his face. The knot in your stomach is twisting. Your anxiety is through the roof, but you take a deep, albeit shaky, breath to steady yourself.

“Okay. I don’t really know how to go about saying this so I’m just gonna say it. I’m asexual, which means I form little to no sexual attraction, in my case none at all, to anyone. Which means the likelihood of me wanting to have sex with you is basically zero. I know it’s kind of a thing for mates to do it all the time, and so I thought since I am the way I am that I would never form a bond with anyone, but I guess I was wrong. And I know you're probably thinking, “well, didn’t the bond snapping make you feel anything like that?” and the answer would be no. Umm…I guess I just want to add and say that I’m not broken, and that life will be a little different with me, and that I know my boundaries, but I’m also willing to try things with you because I love you and trust you… And this doesn’t mean I don't find you attractive, because I do, I think you're really pretty, but it's more in a ‘I want to paint you’ sort of way instead of an ‘I want to fuck you’ sort of way. And I’m rambling so I’m going to stop now.”

Your leg is bouncing up and down, gaze still glued to your entwined hand. A beat of silence passes, and then he squeezes your hands, which in turn makes you look up at him. His eyes are full of understanding and love, emotions you were not expecting to see. You exhale the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, feeling some of your anxiety fade away.

“You think I’m pretty?” he asks, a cheeky grin plastered on his face. You roll your eyes at him, the last of your anxiety washing away. He stands and pulls you up to do the same. He releases one of your hands, using his to brush a rouge strand of hair behind your ear, then pulls you into a tight embrace. You’re taken off guard, but you melt into him, breathing in his crisp, piny scent.

“Thank you for telling me,” he squeezes you tighter. “And I know you said life will be different with you and I want to let you know I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you, and I know we can work through any problems we may face. You are perfect. Cauldron boil me if I ever so much as think to change a single thing about you.”

And with that, he releases you from his embrace, you wipe the few tears that had welled at his words, and you go home.

[noleafclover]

The BBC Sherlock Holmes is ace.

At least somewhere on the spectrum, (I personally hc Demisexual but I’ll get to that later). Ever since the original novels by Arthur Conan Doyle came out in late Victorian England people have been speculating that the funny autistic-coded man wasn’t as straight as he seems (not that he seems straight). This was mostly due to his interesting relationship with John Watson, and modern adaptations have (in the eyes of the viewers) just gotten gayer.

Another thing that modern adaptations do is put labels on Sherlock, now the terms “ace” “asexual” or “aromantic” are never used in the show but we do get some interesting looks into Sherlock’s brain. For example in episode one John asks Sherlock if he has a girlfriend to which Sherlock says “no they’re not really my area” a little more banter and then John goes “A boyfriend then? Which is fine by the way”.

Sherlock’s response here is very interesting because some people use this as a talking point in the argument that Sherlock is aroace to disprove Johnlock, not to say I’m opposed to the idea that Sherlock is aroace but I don’t like it when people use aro/aceness as a way to discredit a ship they don’t like.

Back to the point at hand, Sherlock responds not with something along the lines of “love is stupid” or “boyfriends aren’t my area”. He responds instantly with “I know it’s fine”. So he’s not a-posed to romantic love then, at least not with men. He then continues throughout the show to not show romantic interest in women, or men really, no man except for John.

In fact, when offer dates with people or even that one time Irene Adler basically asked him to fuck her, he says no. Sherlock says something very interesting when he first met John, “I consider myself married to my work”. I choose to interpret this not as Sherlock stating that he’s not interested in romance but instead as Sherlock telling John he’s not opposed to love but he will always put his cases over a hypothetical romantic relationship.

Another look into Sherlock’s possible aceness takes place in episode one of season two. This episode gives us the closest idea of Sherlock’s view on sex that we ever get. Throughout this episode almost everyone makes rather acephobic jokes about Sherlock, stuff about how he’s “clueless about love”, “doesn’t have a heart” stuff like that, the interesting thing is what he says at the end. Sherlock mentions his brother thinking he doesn’t know anything about love and then says something like “but the chemical trails are quite evident”, this shows how disconnected Sherlock feels from romance, and it’s very similar to the mentality that many ace people (including myself) have about sex and/or romance. Sherlock feels disconnected from the topics because he doesn’t experience them in the same way as most people or possibly not at all.

Finally, I’d like to talk about Irene Adler, the show has some interesting things going on with her, it’s somewhat implied that she is special, Sherlock acts oddly about her, even seeming to mourn her when she fakes her own death. You could interpret this as romantic or sexual infatuation but I don’t think so. I seriously just that he admires her cleverness and thinks she’s interesting, she was just another cure for his boredom.

One other thing about Irene is that she wants to manipulate Sherlock and she does to some extent but not the way she wanted. You see, there is this scene that when I watched it solidified my theory that Sherlock is Demi. In this scene Irene and Sherlock talk about sex under the innuendo of “Dinner” here is a translation made by me. (I’m sorry it might not be the most accurate I’m ace and not fluent in one sided flirting)

Irene: so you’ve ever fucked anyone

Sherlock: Not sure what you mean by that

Irene: Ok I’ll be more blunt

Irene: do you want to fuck me?

Sherlock: no thanks I’m good

Irene: really?

Sherlock: yes, why would I want to fuck someone I’m not attracted to?

Irene: what if it was your last day on earth?

Sherlock: well it’s not so we’re all good.

And if that’s not the most ace coded thing you’ve ever seen I don’t know what will convince you. Sherlock kind of dances around the question but honestly I think it’s a pretty straightforward answer, he just said “no, thanks I’m good not fucking people actually”

thank you for coming to my ted talk, I know it was like super long

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Aroace Alastor

Hoo boy here we go- This one might make some people mad at me, so I'll preface by saying I do not want to start a fight and as long as you respect my business, I'll respect yours. But let's get this over with-

First off, I genuinely don't understand how some people can see the Ace-In-The-Hole quote and still believe that Alastor is only intended to be asexual and not also aromantic. Yes, the term Rosie used for purpose of the pun was 'ace', but can we look at the context of that moment before jumping to conclusions?

Rosie, motioning to Charlie: "Oh, who's this you brought with you? Come now, Alastor, she's much too young for you! Oh, I'm just kidding. I know you're an ace in the hole!"

Her original statement implies nothing sexual, only that he's involved in a relationship with Charlie, and she follows it up with why she knows that couldn't be because he's an 'ace in the hole'. I don't think you have to read too far between the lines to see that.

I would also like to say that when Vivienne has spoken about his orientation before, I recall her saying that she didn't want to confirm him being aromantic so that she wouldn't 'ruin anyone's fun', which I just feel like is an odd thing to say if she wasn't already explicitly picturing him as aroace. If she thought he had romantic attraction, why wouldn't she just say that? What fun would that ruin? I also feel like keeping things like this ambiguous just to appease the shippers is a little weird, but I digress-

And to those of you who I know are saying "But aromantic people can be in relationships too!!" *deep inhale* yeah I know. I'm not gonna pretend you're not right about that, but there are also aroace people who have exactly 0 interest in romance or sex at all. This is the part of the post that really is based on how I interpret certain moments, but to me he is absolutely one of those people. I don't really know where people get any vibes of him being interested in that stuff. I have never once looked at him and thought "Yeah I could see him in a romantic relationship with *insert character here*". Even aside from attraction in general, since that's what we'd be talking about at this point anyway, he just seems like the kind of guy who'd rather work and live independently instead of relying on anyone, whether practically or emotionally (which is also probably part of the reason he never joined the Vees, but that's another topic entirely). Hell, I'm pretty sure he's in heavy denial about even developing any kind of care or friendship with the people at the hotel (ie. the episode 8 scene with him and Niffty).

The only ships I see him involved in with people he doesn't hate (so ignoring RadioApple, RadioHusk, and StaticRadio. But to be real, maybe the fact all his main ships are enemies to lovers coded says something about the whole situation, but that's just me-) are Charlastor - which I will not even try to discuss here, people aren't gonna like this post as it is - and RadioRose. Rosie and him would at least be fair, if it weren't for one thing (which is also personal opinion on my end), and I don't know exactly how to word it. I'm tempted to say she has wingwoman vibes? But she knows he's aro, so that's not the right word, but there's vibes of like, she probably did act as a wingwoman before she realized that about him or something.. There's also something about her joking around like "Oh this is the girl? You have a girlfriend and I'm only now meeting her?" is almost giving motherly behavior. Idk man they're just besties to me, I could see them in a QPR though (not that they'd probably label it that way, considering the word queerplatonic is likely just complete gibberish to Alastor lmao).

So to summarize: It feels incredibly likely, if not practically canon, that Alastor was written with aromanticism in mind, even if Vivienne refuses to explicitly state it. Subtext and not-that-subtle implications can say just as much about a character as word of God, especially when that God has explicitly told us why she won't confirm or deny this information. Do I think any of this will stop people from shipping him romantically with literally any other character? No ofc it won't, and that's okay, that's just what fandoms do. I do think there's something to say for the fact the one aroace (or even at the very least asexual) character gets constantly shipped with everyone else in the cast, but this post is long enough I think. The only point of posting this is that I wanted to get information out there in one post to say "Hey, let's look a little bit past the surface for a second before saying there's no proof of him being aromantic"

Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you at least took something away from this

[scriptlgbt]

Hello, hope you are doing well. I am currently trying to make an Aromantic Asexual character that is a sociopath. I believe there is a negative stereotype around these two parties that they are cold and unloving and would like to try portray and show people that hey they are human and are capable of love. However, I'm slightly hesitant to do so since I don't want to play into the stereotype. Please send advice! ( Also have a fantastic day)

This advice is going to lean on the "sociopath" term a bit because I have more advice to give on the topic, and it's also not something we've explored in this way before on the blog.

I have some biases here because I have a Cluster B personality disorder (a cluster which includes disorders that are often labelled as "sociopath"). The term sociopath is generally considered outdated at best and derogatory at worst, with people mainly only using the term to harken to a legacy of criminalizing and institutionalizing people who don't express care for others in a way that is legible to others, or whose care is not expressed in a healthy way.

Based on your wording here, I'm assuming that you are using the term in an earnest way to describe a neurodivergent experience, and do not believe in these ableist assumptions yourself.

Because of this, I would recommend determining more specifically what you mean by "sociopath," and then dropping the term. Do you mean low/no empathy? Do you mean a specific disorder (and which one)? What does this look like for them, and what does their emotional and mental experience feel like for them? There are resources out there for learning more about what these things feel like for people who have low/no empathy, or who have disorders that are categorized this way, but I think if it is not a thing that you experience, I would tread with a lot of caution and find a beta reader or sensitivity reader with these experiences who is comfortable talking about this with you.

Re: Aroace - there are people who are asexual and aromantic who have had pretty much every experience and identity alongside this. What makes a stereotype harmful is when:

They are the only representation.

They are not written as 3-dimensional characters with feelings and thoughts, identities and experiences that transcend these labels.

These can be countered by having more characters of the same identity who vary from the character you are concerned with, and making the characters all as multi-faceted as possible. You may not be able to explore every character's whole lives in depth in front of the reader, but to a reader, it still matters that this intricate life they have is implied and hinted at within the context.

But that is generally good writing advice, in my opinion. So many authors have characters that are written to fit a role within the life of the protagonist. Best friends are there to fawn over them and be supportive, but don't have hobbies or interests or an unrelated life thing going on offscreen. When you write, ask yourself, could someone feel inspired to write fanfiction of this character? Is there enough that they could put them in an AU and they would still be recognizably them? Or do they only exist by their relationship to the protagonist?

mod nat

[aspecmemesdaily]

How do I know I'm asexual?

How does one know they feel sexual attraction?

I don't know if I should really label myself this because I want to because I also feel like I'm lying to myself when I do

Haha, that's funny, I think most acespec people aren't exactly the best people to ask what sexual attraction feels like. I mean, we have a vague idea, but that's about it...

I've heard that if an allosexual was given the opportunity to have sex with an attractive person, right then and there, on the spot, even if it's a stranger they've never met, they likely wouldn't be opposed?!

I think maybe it's like looking at delicious food and thinking 'Wow, I'd taste that', but it's someone's body? It's like finding a great book or seeing a stunning sunset and really wanting to read/enjoy that but instead of books or sunsets it's sex with a person?!

In my case, I also couldn't relate to the mainstream media and conversation topics, e.g. all the talk in school about who's hot and who you have a crush on and which celebrity you'd like to date, having the feeling that we're too young to want/have sex and then realising that people do want sex that much (some even crave it??) and didn't exaggerate, and pick up lines and all that whining about not having been laid in months was actually not a joke?!

I really don't know, allos and aces who have experienced sexual attraction before, please back me up here...

And most importantly: Choose the label based on whether you feel comfortable using it (the label should fit you, not you fitting the label). You might want to research about it, learn about other people's stories and find out whether you can relate to them, scroll through memes and find out whether you feel seen, etc. The ace spectrum is large and diverse, and it doesn't matter whether you enjoy sex on tv, in fiction, in theory, for others, for yourself, only for specific people (celebrities, fictional characters, people you know intimately, people you don't know at all, etc.) or not at all, and neither does it matter whether you're sex-repulsed, sex-indifferent, or sex-positive. If you like how the label feels for you and want to use it, go for it! Or just try it out for a while and change it if you're not happy with it; labels aren't permanent after all!

All the best with figuring out your label, dear @jackcorvos <2

[myfaceaches]

hi im an ask here to give you an excuse to talk about serirei sex headcanons. i wanna hear them

Helloo thank you so much for asking + giving me an excuse, because I have so many sitting around in my head. I’ll list them below in no particular order:

I say this in the most positive way ever— they have very vanilla, sappy sex. Here and there they’ll experiment because they’re very open and communicative with each other about that, but for the most part, very sappy and vanilla.

Reigen is aspec, and has a very complex relationship with sex. I don’t think he’d even know there was a term for it until he’s dating Serizawa and they’re on the topic of sex and Reigen brings up his relationship with it. Given Serizawa spent so many years as a shut-in and the internet was one of the only things he had, he’d be very well-versed in labels alongside many other things, and he’d probably be the one to tell Reigen, “Arataka, do you think you might be on the asexual spectrum?” On the topic of that, it would take a while in their relationship for them to have sex, and Reigen would be the one to initiate it (something Serizawa never even expects out of Reigen). Reigen having sex with Serizawa revolves more around the vulnerability and the intimacy rather than the actual attraction. He gets pleasure out of making Serizawa feel good, and that’s his priority in most of their sexual encounters. He feels comfortable and assured by Serizawa in ways he never thought were possible, and it allows him to view sex as something deeper when it comes to Serizawa. He can only imagine it being this way with Serizawa, no matter how much he tries to imagine how things would play out being close with other people.

They don’t have specific places in regards to topping, bottoming, dominating, being submissive, etc., it kind of comes naturally to them in the moment during foreplay. Though, if I were to place labels, Reigen would lean more towards being a power bottom and a service top, and Serizawa tends to place the deciding in Reigen’s hands, but also communicates about when he wants to be the one in control; nonetheless, Serizawa is very gentle and also tends to focus on Reigen’s pleasure. They’re both very motivated by making the other feel really good.

Reigen’s strap-on is the same color as his tie, and the first time Serizawa is about to get pegged he notices it and laughs. To this day he doesn’t know if Reigen chose that color subconsciously or purposefully, but either way it seems to be his signature color now.

Out of the two, Reigen is more squirmy and sensitive. Serizawa eats Reigen out one time and Reigen accidentally clamps his legs together and crushes his head. Where with, Serizawa he is mostly just touch starved and melts easily at any affectionate, tender gesture.

Serizawa is noisy and more often than not fails to suppress his moans. Reigen does a better job being able to silence himself, mostly out of fear of appearing too vulnerable (this is mostly something he worries about early on in their relationship), and also because he doesn’t want his neighbors hearing. That would be embarrassing for them.

They are HEAVY on foreplay, and often get each other so worked up that by the time they actually get into having sex, they don’t last long.

Serizawa has a praise kink. He melts at Reigen’s words of encouragement and affirmation. Even before they were dating, Serizawa always found himself oddly affected by Reigen’s praises (ex: “You did really good today, Serizawa! How about some ramen?”, “You’re quite the powerful psychic.”, et cetera).

On the contrast, Reigen leans more towards having a degradation kink. He can’t accept much praise without trying to deflect or pull a one-up or a “No, you” type thing, but it still makes him melt, because Serizawa knows what to say and when Reigen gets overwhelmed by it.

To add on, Serizawa has a hard time accommodating Reigen’s degradation kink at first, given he’d never refer to him like that in any other setting. Throughout time he gets more comfortable trying, though. While they’re having sex one time, Serizawa, albeit very bashfully, calls him a slut, and it makes Reigen cum prematurely (my friend Brandy actually brought this headcanon to life and made a comic about it. Godbless you bro).

Serizawa is very, very clingy during and after sex.

Before dating, Reigen moans Serizawa’s first name while masturbating and he calls off the next day because he wouldn’t have been able to look him in the eye.

OKAY THANKS BYE

[demonicelovator]

I was originally gonna try and do these in order of how they died in the original game, but ive since given up on that in order to talk about my favorites. Anyways heres Chihiro Fujisaki, Ultimate Programmer!

Some minor spoilers for chapter two in the written details though so be warned.

Okay so Chihiro came out so well, I love him. Only issues were in the coloring phase with his hair and skin colors, i kept having to adjust them so that they weren’t too similar. I’ve been checking the colors in grayscale for all of these designs in order to keep that from happening. I also had issues with how light to make the green so that it wasn’t too similar to the off-white I’ve been using.

Plot changes and character changes under the cut!

Okay first things first, Chihiros gender. I wanted to get this out of the way first because I know people can be weird about it. I personally see Chihiro as a man, and I am totally okay with other interpretations of his gender, but personally he seems like an insecure little boy.

While we’re on the topic though, this rewrite has been rolling around in the rock tumbler i call my brain for a while now and so there are a lot of ideas, or changes that just appeared, and I don’t know where they came from. One such being that Chihiro is a trans man in this rewrite. I have no idea where this came from, but i will not be getting rid of it. I’ve also decided to make him demiromantic and asexual.

Other than that, I adore Chihiro. He’s sweet and desperately wants to change and be stronger, I want all the best for him, but i cant give him the best unfortunately. I think he’d still choose to hang out with the guys more than the girls, he’s told everyone he’s a guy from day one and wants to live up to that expectation. I think that the secret he shares with mondo that he wants to keep is him being trans, and not labelled a boy at birth.

When it comes to plot, i was originally planning to cash my “Mastermind Orchestrated Murder” card for chapter two, and have Chihiro be killed off by Junko in order to prevent them from finding Alter Ego, but decided against it. I’m now keeping it mostly the same, but slightly more upsetting for Taka. Which I’ll bring up more when i talk about mondo. Now given Chihiro being a trans guy in this rewrite, the crime scene and locker rooms are an issue. I’m not sure whether or not Chihiro would be let into the boys locker room, and he wouldn’t either so i feel like he’d grab Leon’s handbook, and Mondo gets let in by Chihiro. Then things progress normally.

Okay so Chihiro’s role in the group is to collect information, they do their best on the technical side. I imagine they also help with minor repairs for things, because these kids have most things taken care of for them, but it’s still the end of the world and the only thing keeping the place afloat before the killing game was Jin and the kiddos, so i think everyone would have to pitch in to keep the place safe. They probably still kept Alter Ego a secret, speaking of Alter Ego is a girl in order to differentiate between her and Chihiro.

Afterlife and pre-despair time!

Pre-despair i like to imagine that they do get stronger, and become more comfortable with their body and identity. They also started to hang out with the girls in class, Celeste especially. He’s good friends with Leon, Taka, and of course Mondo, but other than that I don’t have many ideas for him unfortunately.

And for the afterlife, he’s one of the more calm ghosts and acts to calm the others down. I imagine that he forgives mondo pretty quickly, especially after Mondo’s motives are revealed in the trial. He becomes a bit more comfortable with who he is, now that he has literal eternity to sit with it and all. Again, not much else to say other than that, sorry.

[goobleck0]

hi okay a friend sent me a twitter post of yours and i just HAD to send you an ask. im not gonna say my account but i personally identify w/ the profic label and am active in the proship community, so ignore my ask if you'd like, but i am genuinely just. so curious.

in the post im referring to, you say that you wish that portraying toxic and/or abusive relationships in fiction wasn't stigmatized by proshippers writing about them with sexual intent, because they are extremely interesting to explore. but i'd like to inform you that that actually is what proshipping is! and especially profic. i consider proship as more of an anticensorship identity than anything else - ship and let ship, live and let live, write and let write.

of course, many do write sexual things w/ those relationships, but i don't see why that's a bad thing. i assume that you mean that profic writers writing about sexual concepts poisons the public perception of these abusive relationships, but i don't think that's a fair perspective. puritans will always be puritan, no matter what you are doing. you can't appeal to them enough to be good enough for them - you just have to be yourself.

if you just generally see writing something for sexual gratification bad, then i can't agree at all. that would be a very puritan perspective and actively harmful to free speech and the freedom to write what you desire. and, really, THAT is what proshipping is. it just so happens that many people desire writing things with sexual themes. that's just how people are - sexual themes are interesting in the same way that dark themes are, as a facet of the range of human experience. it might surprise you to learn that a lot of my fellow proship/profic writers who write about sexual themes are actually asexual themselves, and I am on the asexual/aromantic spectrum.

also, i too am autistic, and i too have a fascination with exploring dark themes in media. i consider myself an academic, and i want to become an author in the future. the things that i write now are dark fiction, and they would be considered "proshipping" because they portray dark ships. i never intend to stop writing what i do. i intend to continue writing dark fiction, and to publish it, even if it includes sexual themes, because that is contained within the spectrum of human experience and i believe it is incredibly important to portray. in fact, that would be a necessity to include in stories of many abusive relationships, which often contain degrees of sexual abuse.

if you want to post this, go ahead. if you just read it, that's fine! if you want to reply to it privately you can dm onthelamby and they can put u through to me

I wasn't going to (seriously) respond to this initially, but I agree with most aspects of your take here.

I am a huge on anti-censorship and free speech, always have been. and, I would even consider myself "proship", if the label still meant what it did during its early days. I love to see the portrayal of taboo topics in writing and other forms of art, especially by other victims. but, a lot of the proship community today has made itself into something else entirely, I fear.

as you said, you're profic yourself. and being in the community, it's very difficult to see how it is seen by outsiders. a lot of the proship community that is seen by antis are shotacon, pedos, and things of the like, I don't know the terms... I will give it to you that these people give your community a horrible wrap. the content that these people consume and produce are so damning and make genuine, educational and interesting dark-fiction hard to find for people like me that are into exploring the topics at hand.

I will never be against exploring taboo topics in media, fics where abuse happen, explicit or not, can AND SHOULD be in the mainstream. something like lolita (Vladimir Nabokov), for example, is exactly what I'm talking about, even if this work was misconstrued as something praising the topics at hand. that is what I like to see, that is what should be read and spread around! however, a lot of what I see nowadays are less like lolita and more pornography.

I am not against pornography, but that is not a media that should not explore serious topics. browsing ao3, I often see fics where characters are just abused for no reason other than the idea of the abuse being sexy. that is something I will never, ever support. that is where the stigma comes from, works that explore dark topics in such a way that promote, endorse, and support them.

several people in this community stay in their eco-chambers where they only dig themselves deeper into their trauma by consuming and creating meaningless, nothingburger abuse pornography. I want art, I want things that create a message and spread awareness. I don't want content that purposefully gives even one person the idea that these topics are erotic.

I'm sorry if I repeat myself in this, I don't normally lock in this hard on discourse posts, lol...

[lorynna]

Please understand I am writing this from a position of genuine curiosity and not one of malice.

I saw your response to the anon talking about their aroace friend and you both agreed that asexuality is being “muddied” by people who identify as asexual since there’s so much variation between them.

I am honestly quite confused as to why you are dictating the definitions of lived experiences you don’t share. Why do you have to decide how people feel and perceive their feelings if those are completely separate people than you?

Is it truly your business to decide how labels should be applied if you aren’t the one using them? As an asexual, the way you discuss my identity dismisses me and other asexuals as people, because you make assumptions about what and how we should be feeling. It feels dehumanizing.

Again…I write this with no malice, I just don’t understand your position on this matter.

Hello anon.

My response to the other anonymous person submitting an ask involved both of us agreeing about the fact that those labels are hard to get taken seriously due to a lot of people either trying to weaken the definition of asexuality/aromanticism by widening it until cinderella's unique custom-designed shoe is a one-size-fits-all, (in other words:) it completely looses it's meaning and can be applied to the average person or a person who simply has a low sex drive and/or are following a trend, where it "seems cool and quirky" to pick out a label and make it your entire personality until you get tired of it and need to get something new.

Touching on your comment implying that I am calling this term (who in my opinion has become useless due to the above mentioned reasons) as me not rejecting the label therefore but because "there is so much variation between asexual/aromantic people". Which is just...sigh.

I don't think I have to point out that the reasons (again, listed above), that I have also stated in multiple of my takes about this subject, don't indicate any sort of valid variation but the broadening of a simple term until it is applicable to the average person who "sometimes does not feel like having sex" or "feels like not having a relationship for some time in their lives".

Now a counter question. Am I really dictating the definitions of lived experiences I don't share (like you claim) or am I simply talking about my opinion? What power do I have to truly dictate how someone can/has to label themselves? Suprise: I don't! People can continue to pick labels how they please and I can give my opinion accordingly, how I please.

I am challenging you to try and analyze if I am truly trying to be malicious towards actual asexuals/aromantics or if I am just fed up by everything getting used as a trendy label or people pretending to "be cool". I am challenging you to form an opinion on wether or not I am truly coming from a place of hate or rather constructive criticism. And I am challenging you to not see everything that defies your worldview as hate. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has them and sometimes they stink!

My favorite saying : You cannot define something, without actually excluding anyone from said definition. To defines means to limit and that's okay, that is essential. Otherwise words, labels, definitions, it all means nothing. To open the doors to everyone means to protect no one.

I would encourage you (if you are really interested in my take on the topic) to take a look into my pinned post, where I am talking about this more intrinsically. I'll link it here down below.

Also linking here now below the question of another anon that THIS anon is referring to.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hi there! How are you doing? I have some questions, well, a rant *plus* some questions.

I feel... safer with allo allies than I do with aro/ace communities (online). Does that make me aphobic/bad? I don't go by labels because for me, they're not necessary. If I *were* to label myself based purely on definitions, I would be aroace, specifically, demiromantic asexual. I used to go by this a while back.

I don't fit the stereotype of being aroace at all. I'll talk about the aromantic side. Unlike most arospecs i've seen online, I LOVE Valentine's day! I LOVE shipping! I LOVE consuming romance fiction. I LOVE romance et cetera et cetera and yet I don't experience it like allos do. I need a strong bond with someone in order to fall in love and it takes me really, really, long to do so. But once it happens, my love is not 'weak'. It makes me pass really well as allo because of this, but it makes a lot of people in the aro community mad because I'm 'stealing' a label to 'feel special'. I was always told I was not aroace, that I couldn't be aroace by definition. That I was alloromantic asexual pretending to be on the arospec. That I was too scared to be 'basic'.

On that topic, and I think this is unintentional, but... why is nobody batting an eye when an aro or an ace person shames an allo or calls them weird or basic? Because they're doing exactly what allo aphobes are doing to them. I had this conversation with a friend and he said, 'that doesn't happen, allo people don't get shamed especially by aspec people', yet, I keep seeing things like 'I fucking hate allos so much' and 'To all my aces, we're not like allos, we're better' or something along those lines.

Whenever I enter an aspec online space, I'm made to feel like an intruder because, as I said, my experiences are very similar to the allo experience EXCEPT for the fact that I don't feel romantic attraction unless a strong bond has been formed. I'm not saying the aroace community is bad in any way, don't get my wrong, I'm saying that there is a massive gatekeeping problem going around and so much bubbling hatred and separation, and I don't understand any of it. In a prefect world, I'd happily identify as aroace, but I feel ashamed to do so now.

The gatekeeping... the infighting, I don't want to hate the online community of which I'm supposed to belong but this... this isn't right. The allo allies don't do things like this. They don't make me feel insecure about myself. And yes, while I don't experience romance like an allo would, I feel safe around them. I need to ask, have you seen this too? Have you experienced this? Is this truly all in my head? What do you think?

I apologize for the vent or if I seem aphobic, I just really need answers and I'm tired of the constant hatred... How are you? Did you drink enough water? Did you sleep well today? Did you eat? Again, I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable with this!

Vents are totally welcome, Anon. Don't worry.

I'm really sorry you ran into gatekeeping, Anon. I feel like that's something that's really been on the rise especially over the last couple of years. It's a real issue and it causes a lot of harm. This should go without saying, but demiromantic people are aro, and have just as much right to be here as anyone else on the aro spectrum.

I do think at least part of the problem is social media in general and how things are set up these days. We don't have community spaces as much anymore, in particular we've lost moderated spaces where gatekeepers can be properly dealt with. And there's very little curation or organization. Things are chaotic and fragmented, and one person's experience and what kind of posts they say see may vary wildly from someone else's. There's also a competing needs issue, where one aro may need to vent about romance, another may need their romantic side validated and there's no way to organize so each can find the space they each need.

If finding aro spaces/blogs that are more accepting is important to you, Anon (and it's OK both if it is or isn't), my big advice would be seek out demiromantic blogs and posters specifically. There's some very good ones around and they'll be posting about aro things that are relevant to you, and even more importantly won't be gatekeeping demi identities.

For more aro-general blogs, there are ones out there that are also inclusive and anti-gatekeeping, but it may take a bit of work to find them. Be very liberal with your unfollow and block buttons. If someone is gatekeeping block on sight, but also if they're not posting the type of aro content that you need or want to see, you're allowed to organize things so you don't see their posts. Sometimes unfollowing is enough, but blocking also doesn't necessarily mean the other person has done anything wrong, it's just a tool to make sure you're not seeing a blog you don't want to see.

For the shaming allos question, I do think it's a complex topic. For me it depends on context. I definitely do not believe in any kind of ace/aro superiority, being ace and/or aro, or being allo are both neutral. Nobody's smarter or more moral or more pure or anything like that. But sometimes people say things as a vent in the moment and are reacting to a difficult situation they've been in. So for example someone may say 'allos suck' but it comes from a place where they've been very badly treated by allos for being ace or aro but they're referring more to the societal systems that are in place that privilege allo people and make life more difficult for ace/aro people, they don't actually believe being allo makes someone a bad person. (It can be hard to tell what's going on just from a post, again it's OK to unfollow and block, especially if it's just not what you personally need to see in the moment).

Personally I don't come across a lot of this type of stuff, but this is what I mean about things being fragmented, the blogs I follow just aren't posting about the infighting or gatekeeping and I don't happen to see it in the tags when I go in there. But I do hear about it second hand, and it seems like it's a problem on other social media sites I'm not on as well.

I'm sorry you've had a hard time, Anon. But I am glad you've found people you can be comfortable with and be yourself around. That's really important too. And thanks for the reminder that I really should drink more water today.

Hopefully at least some of this is helpful, but if you have more questions or want to discuss anything in more detail, feel free to send in another ask.

All the best!

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[velvetvexations]

not sure where else to vent about this but as always Velvet your blog welcomes people on the fringe with open arms and for that I'm very grateful <3 it is a nsfw topic, jsyk

so i'm aspec, to use the broadest categorizations of my sexuality label. kink to me is not really appealing in sexual contexts outside of like, a very specific set of dynamics and tools but that's about where it ends. i'm not really entirely comfortable posting about/sharing/talking about this inclination of mine with anyone in any space, digital or irl, because everyone jumps the gun to "freak sex" when that's just not what i want out of kink in the slightest. recently on here there was that poll that was, like, "is all kink sexual?" and the notes on it were pretty abhorrent-- there were people proclaiming incredibly reactionary things as if it were progressive sex-positive comments, like "so you would do kink with a kid" i.e. equating nonsexual kink with grooming.

and the thing is, from what i've read of kink/sex literature and seen of online asexual communities, kink has a history of being used in nonsexual ways. kink is something that develops from a very young age and in my case i can recall signs from all the way back when i was in preschool. it's extremely isolating and, idk. i think in the light of the recent resurgence of exclusionary politics on here it's just another link in our sticky web of intracommunity aggression that deserves to be talked about. sexualization is not an effect disparate of moralization and none of us are free until we're all free, and all that

This is an interesting perspective. Something I really believe in and want to bring to the world is non-sexual BDSM relationships, wherein one could casually talk about a master or...we really need a word other than "slave", I think, because that's so politically charged, but I also feel like "pet" is not quite the right vibe for me outside of describing the lens through which I see romance as a result of my NPD, and "sub" seems too meager...but anyway, where you could talk about that just eas easily as you would say "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". I'm happy to stand with you on that.

[mono-blogs-art]

Tsukutabe Vol 3 English Release, A Review!

A few days ago I was finally able to get my hands on the long awaited third volume of the Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna (She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat) manga! Here are some of my thoughts - first, no spoilers, and then under a readmore I'll discuss some specific scenes I really liked.

I was very excited to finally read ahead - since the TV live action adaptation covers the same plot points as the first two volumes of the manga, and since there are basically 0 spoilers floating over from the jp fandom into my periphery, I truly had no idea where it was going. And what can I say but it was an absolute delight.

Like in volume 2, we are keeping a balance of the silly, everyday life of Nomoto & Kasuga and their cooking adventures, interspersed with quite serious, even dark moments in their personal lives. In fact, this volume features probably the darkest scenes in the series yet, more on that in the spoiler section later, but I truly had tears in my eyes for a bit. However I love how the focus when discussing these serious topics is always on the character and their feelings in the moment - how they can recognize what's been in their past, and how they've been able to move on and find happiness again, expressing a desire to do so. They've been hurt in their lives - mostly by their families that they've left behind, or by coworkers and strangers - but they are allowed to work through those feelings, take no shit, and say "No, I deserve better than this." There's also more focus again on LGBT advocacy now, with Nomoto coming out (to herself) at the end of volume 2, we now see her try to get comfortable with the lesbian label and how it affects her. There's also discussion on asexuality and its many shades, which I really appreciated!

The biggest change in volume 3 is the addition of two new characters - Yako-san, one of Nomoto's online friends who starts to become a bigger part of her life when Nomoto starts opening up about her sexuality; and Nagumo Sena, who is their "middle neighbor", the person who moved into the apartment between Nomoto & Kasuga that's been empty for the previous two volumes. Nagumo starts to befriend Kasuga when the two have a run-in. So a lot of the volume we actually see the two new pairs interact, and the focus is away from our main couple for a bit (but not really). Rather than new side characters, Yako and Sena feel more like an extension of the main cast, an extension of their little family, and they are immediately likeable and mash well with the rest. Speaking of family, although it's been a theme before, volume 3 really makes the central theme of "found family" very explicit. And it really warms the heart.

And my favourite part, without giving too much away, Kasuga also again receives chapters with her as the protagonist, rather than having Nomoto be the narrator all the time. This is actually the only thing I really miss in the TV live action, there are only a couple of scenes in there where you can see Kasuga's train of thoughts. The manga gives you much more insight into her inner workings. I'm hoping this will change for season 2 of the show, especially knowing what's in store.

Overall, the third volume brings a lot of fresh turns but stays true to its vibe and feel at heart. And of course it doesn't forget that there's also a love story, with Nomoto & Kasuga inching ever closer to each other. But I think this volume is where the story makes a point to say, Hey, This Isn't A Romance Series - it's a series about healing from past trauma, family, and especially found family, tackling everyday misogyny and homophobia, and all that through the very mundane task of cooking. I can't wait for volume 4 to come out, and season 2 of the live action series of course!!

The biggest thing I wanted to talk about was the conversation Kasuga has with her father on the phone. It's just so fucked up. We've only seen her family in flashbacks up until now, and reading the conversation between the two of them shows how far Kasuga has come in the 10 years since she's left home. Unlike Nomoto, who has a rocky relationship with her family but still keeps in contact, Kasuga has cut herself completely off since she left, and her views on family are central to her storyline. She wants to eat whatever she likes and not be shamed for it, own the things she wants, live in her own space, work a job that she choses. She wants to be herself.

At the same time, Kasuga is also the most family-oriented character. She loves to take care of others, make them feel at home and feel included, and she wants others to care for her too, unconditionally. When she thinks about what she values about "family", and the things she desires, there's only one logical conclusion to come to.

Kasuga's ties to her family also make her the perfect person to bring in Sena to the group. Sena is the total opposite of Kasuga, yet they're able to connect because of their shared traumas connected to food and family. When Kasuga bluntly accepts Sena without a second thought, the two really start to connect and it was just so sweet. Sena's whole backstory really touched me a lot and I definitely cried xD

These are the main two things I really couldn't wait to talk about!!! I really love Sena a lot and I'm excited to see more of her in the next volume. It's also very funny that it takes her, what, a single evening to immediately get that Nomoto and Kasuga have mutual crushes on each other, lmao.

The other new character, Yako-san, is also really fun. She's the confident, take-no-bullshit counterpart to Nomoto, and she proudly identifies as both a lesbian and asexual. Apart from that, we haven't seen much of her and her backstory yet - I'm hoping there'll be more in the future, especially with her in parallel to the main romance (idk if she's also aromantic, but it might be hinted at already?). I can't wait to see!

Those are some assorted thoughts... I really love this series and I appreciate it for the simple yet concise storytelling, and the love Yuzaki-san puts into her characters. They feel like real people, reflecting real insecurities and problems you'd run into in real life, even when it's exaggerated in a comedic manner. Can't wait to see where it goes next!!