#will probably make a post on that too at some point

[columbidaehypoxia]

Learning more and more there is no "together". Life is a beautiful and horribly stressful collection of moving parts and shifting things and all you really can do is try and make the best day you can.

Sometimes if I look at everything in my life, my partner's life, the world, and I feel like I'm drowning. Now I'm not the only one. And i know that if I stay there, looking down at everything that is,could've been, wants that never manifested and needs that were never met, I could get lost in it all forever.

But at some point, you know there are things you can't change and things you can't do or didn't, but you can't go back. You have today and these moments, and I've really begun to learn to live, or enjoy, the moment, the present. You can't change how much you hurt and wasted 7 yrs of your life being hurt, but you can pause and choose a little bit of peace for today.

And I mean this for goals too, you can achieve almost anything if it's genuine. If you wanted to paint and never learned how, do it now. Make your paint from mud if you don't have the money to buy paint, but make yourself a fucking masterpiece. Write music and do whatever you want with it. Make creepy short films on your phone that you may or may not ever publish. Enjoy the doing and the feeling of choosing you, of choosing the action of love, because you cannot love something if you regret it, and I don't think ppl should carry this regret around. Take a moment to be proud of even the 'small' accomplishments.

There is always hope, every and any day, and we all are doing the same thing, trying to find out how not to carry the weight of regrets with us wherever we go. (Except maybe that 1 person who definitely has it figured out, we don't know what to say about them. They probably don't have laundry to do when they get home either. This is irrelevant. )

Anyways no one asked for this sorry to rant on ur post I'll stop talking sending love

everyone from childhood seems to have carved out a life for themselves. i still feel 15 and completely hopeless

[k0mmari]

SYSTEM! SHEN YUAN AU (Pt.2)

Pt.1

Im not done with this, so to the people that wanted more, here it is! I, fortunately or not, have thought way too much again, so once more this is going to be a very, very, VERY long post. If you guys have any ideas about this btw, please do share them! I really am just letting my mind wander a bit more than usual, so maybe someone else can have more structured thoughts than me lol. (Fair warning, there probably will be plot holes, so sorry in advance!)

Please read Pt.1 if you haven't, or this won't make any sense!

After SY warped away from his impromptu meeting with Binghe, the last place he would like to end up would be even deeper into the Endless Abyss, but according to his System, the next piece of the virus was here. While not happy, since his Personal System was (mostly) working as intended, SY managed to activate Ghost Mode and walk towards the next part without having to deal with any of the creatures down there. (He had to try very hard not to get distracted by the monsters, lest his supervisor thinks he also went missing.)

It takes considerably more time to find the virus this time, so much in fact, SY starts to recognize his surroundings from SQH's ramblings (not that he was interested or anything), and he feels a cold sense of dread running down his spine. There was no way he was that unlucky that the object that got corrupted this time was-

He was that unlocky. Lo and behold, after entering a run down ruin, SY is faced with the legendary Xin Mo, power so overwhelming it manifested as dark fire covering the blade. The only reason why SY wasn't immediately writhing on the ground from the sword's power was Ghost Mode, which he could not rely for too long, as his Personal System was displaying warning after warning about Possibility of Corruption and God Like Plot Point. It all meant that SY was on a timer, and if he took too long, the sword would start corrupting his System, which in turn could corrupt him.

Now, since this was a VERY important Plot Point, Luo Binghe had to find Xin Mo or else the plot would derail to an unfixable degree, SY couldn't just snip at it, which was a problem, since manual debugging took a considerably longer time! Still, he summons his Scissors and positions it so he can start at least trimming off the virus.

His plan immediately backfires however, as an ominous crack sounds through the air and he's suddenly pushed away from the sword by a gust of energy. A bit disoriented, he shakes his head and acesses the sit-

Xin Mo, the horrible sword it was, was apparently so OP that it seemed to detect the Scissors at the last second, and the thing attacked back! The metal of the Scissors was dark and broken where it came close to the sword, almost broken in half! Which, not good! It any other time, a pair of broken Debugging Sheers would be more or less fine, if not a major inconvinience (and pay deduction) for SY, but since he'd been warping all over the time for a while now, his Personal System's energy reserves were carefully rationed, and if he were to use a chunk to send the Scissors back for some emergency repair, he'd only have one chance to go back to HQ. Alone.

He couldn't delay it any longer, he desperately needed to find SQH and pray he still had some energy reserves left.

Setting his Personal System's next warp location to SQH's last known location, SY wouldn't have guessed in a million years that he would go back to Cang Qiong Mountain, but whatever; maybe SQH had wanted to start with fixing the bug on Binghe's pendant? Not that this was the right time since it was after Binghe fell into the Abyss, but SQH had never been good at warping. It takes a bit of wandering and going inside different buildings, but eventually his Personal System managed to get a dirrect ping on SQH's System, which sent a massive wave of relief rushing through SY, since it meant that SQH was still slive.

Though as to why he was at An Ding Peak, SY could only guess.

After a bit more wandering, SY enters on what seems to be a (very messy) office space, SY feels all the pieces coming together in his mind. Half sprawled across the table with piles of paper covering the entire table's surface lay the An Ding Peak Lord, which- was already weird, since wasn't this guy supposed to be an enemy of the Peak now? After the whole betrayal thing or whatever? But that would've been something to look into later, were it not for said Peak Lord casually scrolling through a Personal System screen. A Personal System that could only be used by the System's Maintanence Staff.

SY wastes no time in deactivating Ghost Mode, and when SQH's eyes snap to his, the man jumps so high from his chair he almost falls back. It's not a happy reunion by a longshot, since SY immediately jumped his friend co-worker and demanded an explaination, almost screaming about it was all his fault for doing shitty maintenence, and creating this shitty world if it's shitty OP sword which broke his Sheers? Do you know how expensive these are?? I know you do, cause the supervisor never lets you touch the good ones cause you keep cracking all the other pairs-

It takes a more or less one whole hour to calm down SY, but eventually the younger settled and lets SQH say his bit of the story: Apparently, in his messing around with the System's world creation program when he was trying to find the bug in his world, he'd accidentaly managed to get himself actually transmigrated to PIDW, though still with (limited) acess to his Personal System, which let him still send messages to their supervisor and pretend that everything was ok. He'd gotten so unlucky too! Out of all the people to accidentaly select, did it have to be the An Ding Peak Lord? Couldn't it have been Binghe? Or MBJ- (SQH cuts his lamenting when he notices SY's absolutely viscious death glare being stared right through his soul.)

Long story short, he'd initially did try to fix his blunder, but as more time passed and SQH's access to Maintenance priviledges went out one by one on his System, he eventually just... Started actually living there. In fact, he was living so well there that he dared say his life as Peak Lord was even better then when he was with the System! Of course, since he had been integrated as a 'character' now, he had his limitations, he actually managed to get to know his fellow peak lords! He knew the name of his character's family members and his disciples! He'd managed to build a life he never even thought he could have inside the System.

Sure, did he betray the Peak? Yes, yes he did. Were they all going to die in a few years time when Binghe came back from hell? Yeah, yeah they were, and he was immensely guilty and terrified, but! The plot could be changed! He already assumed someone from the System had popped up in the Conference, as when Binghe had recently made his alliance with MBJ, and had mentioned in passing this weird thing that had happened to him just before he fell into the Abyss.

Anyways, eventually SY begrudgingly accepts SQH's decision to stay in PIDW, but he still had to help SY; and so they form a plan: SY was going to transfer some energy to SQH so he could temporarily get his acess to the full version of his Personal System and use his energy reserves to send SY's Sheers and get them fixed. SQH was also going to properly apologize to their supervisor for suddenly quitting without notice AND order some more energy stacks to be sent to SY's System. SY on the other hand had devises a plan to get closer to XIn Mo without the sword exploding his face off:

Infiltrate Demon Emperor Luo Binghe's palace as a lowly staff member and slowly debug the sword from the inside.

A perfect plan! What could go wrong?

SY selects to warp to a time where Binghe had Xin Mo mostly in control, so it is to no surprise he warps to a place were the Demonic Emperor's Palace is absolutely filled with women. Not the best situation, since a lot of people could and probably would be able to see him, but with that many harem members, it wasn't too much of a stretch to assume there was also a considerable number of staff, which, to SY's luck, there was! In fact, after he managed to activate a disguise for his clothes so they matched the rest of the servants, no one bat an eye on his presence; at most someone would inquire about his short hair, but other than that he was as noteable as a fly.

The first phase of his plan was already a success, so now he had to move on to reconnaissance which was mostly easy and the worst thing in his life. He was mostly looking for Binghe's quarters could be as he probably kept the sword close to him at all times, though with how big the palace was, his objective had gradually shifted to mapping out the labyrinth of halls as much as possible (SY was very glad that the System allowed him to create a map in real time or he might have gotten lost in the first five minutes). He walks so much he even manages to catch a few pieces of gossip, though the most interesting one by far being one about Binghe:

Apparently, a year ago, the Emperor had a qi deviation where, for a day, he seemed to have completely shifted his personality; he refused to touch any of his wives and kept screaming for his long dead Shizun. SY doesn't really remember that plot point, though his wondering is cut short when he hears people walking towards his direction. instinctively he his behind a dark corner, momentarily forgetting that he 'worked' at the palace now.

At list his bad luck was finally turning over as the Golden Protagonist himself walked past him with one of his wives hanging off his arm, looking just as cool as SY had always imagined. He had to snap himself out of his stuppor though, as two things caught his attention: First, Xin Mo was, predictably, strapped to his waist, still glitched but at least the virus seemed more or less contained, which gave SY a bit more time to work, though the other thing he noticed...

Hanging onto an old-looking braid laid SY's missing tassle that Binghe had found for him all the way back at the Conference.

What the hell was Luo Binghe doing wearing that old tassle at this day and age??

A few days passed and the Tassle Incident (as he called it) had to be set aside, as it seemed that passing as a servant also meant that other servants and even some wives expected SY to actually work. Not great, he sucked at cleaning and the other servants spared no words to make it clear to him, but it at least gave him something to do while he waited for his Scissors to arrive. SQH had sent him a few messages saying he'd gotten his part of the deal done, so now all SY could do was monitor Xin Mo's condition (from very far away), and occasionally manually debug some small virus pieces that had fallen from the sword, which luckily were easy enough to deal with that he didn't need to cut them off.

The only thing that was worrying him now is how... odd Luo Binghe seemed. Of course, he was supposed to be the pinnacle of the Cool Guy trope, so some edginess was to be expected, but Binghe didn't look just Edgy, he looked straight up depressed. There were bags under his eyes, and he barely seemed to tolerate the presence of 99% of his wives, and that damned braid with the damned tassle was still there-

Point is, Binghe acting so weird really threw SY through a loop, and he may have gotten a bit careless. At a random day when SY was carrying some dirty laundry another servant had just shoved at him, he had no prior warning before a voice sounded from behind him: "You seem to have dropped something."

He barely managed to shake off the violent sense of deja-vu that had sucker punched him in the face before he realized what was happening; Luo Binghe was talking to him. Directly to him. Shit- shit! Did he notice? Was Binghe doing a clever call back, spider-man style?? Was SY going to die????

SY shakily turns to Binghe, keeping his eyes locked onto the floor, bowing as much as possible that he still seemed respectful but the bag of clothes he had didn't all just fall to the floor. Thankfully Binghe didn't seem to mind, and simply put the fallen piece of clothing on top of the others and walked away. Though, just as SY was regaining his breath, Luo Binghe's voice stops him again. "You... Have we met before?"

SY trembles something about only being hired recently and not having the opportunity to formaly meet Junshang, and it seems to be a decent enough that Binghe just stares at him for a while longer before walking away. He really should grow out his hair if even the Emperor got weirded out like that...

Binghe started eyeing SY way more after that day. The protagonist would rarely speak directly to him, but SY could feel his gaze as if it were burning; though, since Binghe never said anything, SY just assumed that whatever Binghe's problem with him was, it was likely nothing to worry about.

In fact, it probably was because one of Binghe's wives had used SY is an impromptu act to try to get Binghe jealous (he just frowned, separated the two and walked away) and after that she had gotten infatuated with him, so she'd turned SY into her personal servant. Because of that SY saw Binghe at most two times a week instead of the 50% chnace of seeing his shadow once a week. Wow.

Because of this, as much as Binghe noticed SY, SY noticed Binghe as well, the protagonist seeming to get even more down as the days went. The tassle was still braided in his hair (SY worried it was just going to become a lock at this point), his eyebags never seemed to leave his eyes, and he was always muttering about... something. (SY managed to overhear something about 'fairness' and what Binghe actually wanted...?)

It all culminated at a seemingly random night. Most of the wives and servants had gone to sleep, only the more in-human women still hanging around, and SY, of course, but mostly it was because he wanted to see how close he could get to Binghe's quarters (aka Xin Mo) at night. Not that it was necessary, as when he was walking his attention was adruptly caught by the strangest sight: Luo binghe, sitting on one of the stone stair that lead to one of the many courtyards, being absolutely drenched in rain. The weirdest part was that a few servants and wives had also passed this place, and they all seemed like they didn't see Binghe, or didn't care.

Hating to see such an usually proud man (not that he'd seen much of that either) just soaking outside as if he'd just caught the love of his life cheating with another man, SY decided that at least he'd do a good job as a servant and take care of 'his Lord'. He grabs an umbrella from one of the adjacent rooms and slowly walks outside, covering Luo Binghe's form, not really caring if he was also getting soaked.

They stayed silent for who knows how long, but eventually, Binghe's eyes that had been laser focused on the horizon slowly blink once, as if coming out of a trance, and slowly move to SY's face, up to his hand holding the umbrella. "My Lord should get back inside. He'll get sick that way." SY half murmurs.

Binghe doesn't respond, though after a few seconds, his eyes seem to widen a bit and his breath comes out a little shaky. SY doesn't dare comment on it.

"Have we met before?" Luo Binghe asks again.

"...Yes." Shen Yuan says.

Binghe closes his eyes, and they stay like that for another hour.

[olderthannetfic]

How do we feel about the "Um just so you know the person you reblogged this from is an [insert undesirables category here]"? When it's some random meme or otherwise uncontroversial post, and not some elaborate political opinion post with a bunch of dogwhistles in it.

Because I just got it from a fandom acquaintance/friend and it felt really fucking unsettling.

Aside from the mutuals that I know from fandom and interact with, most of the other content I interact with on Tumblr is more about what it says than about who said it for me. I don't ever pay attention to who wrote what or which other Tumblr users they had beef with or whatever, I just read the post itself and decide if I like what it says or not. If someone posts something I REALLY dislike, I block them and move on, more in the hopes of seeing less of that sort of thing than with the intention of somehow eliminating that specific person. I never pay attention to who my mutuals are reblogging from and if I note that one of them reblogged something featuring a poster who's famously unhinged, I just assume they don't know and move on because I know my mutuals are reasonable people generally speaking. I like the anonymity of Tumblr and the focus on the content of the posts and not on specific people. It's why I hang out here and not on one of the platforms that are all about influencers and the like.

So today I was going through the blogs of a couple of people I don't follow to find a specific post and in the process I saw a fairly uncontroversial post I liked, reblogged it, and moved on. Then less than an hour later I was met with a wall of text in my DMs accusing that poster of having questionable political opinions and describing the beef they had with another person where they threatened them etc. etc.

TBH I felt incredibly uncomfortable with the level of scrutiny implied in paying attention to who I reblog random shit from, as well as the level of presumption in coming to my DMs and lecture me about it. I know nothing about the blogger they were talking about, have never interacted with him, and will probably never even have the opportunity or the desire to interact with him. He wasn't even the AUTHOR of the post, it was just on his profile. It makes me want to never post anything ever again.

I just... don't see the point of this sort of behaviour in general? "You shouldn't be giving [bad people] a platform" - look, I genuinely don't think that reblogging a pretty landscape from someone who turns out to be a TERF or whatever is platforming those beliefs in any way. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how my behaviour leads to any material harm to anyone. Even if I follow the person, the moment they start talking about TERF-y shit I'm gonna unfollow and/or block. The probability of me throwing all my well-developed political opinions down the drain and getting radicalized through the slippery slope of reblogging "CATS ARE SO CUTE WHEN THEY SWAT AT THINGS" from someone with a dogshit take about Palestine is literally zero. If it's the content of the post that's wrong, just explain why to me, or point out the dogwhistles or whatever. I'm open to being wrong in my opinions. I'm not open to my online friends acting like the fucking Stasi.

Maybe I'm just too old for these newfangled social politics but it just feels like either pointless catty high school drama or an attempt at social control that I can't help but interpret in a hostile manner. Even if it's followed by - as it was in my case - something along the lines of "obviously I'm not accusing YOU of anything!! I'm sorry it came off that way!!" when I pushed back against it. It feels like 1950s conservative housewives making sure you're not even greeting any of the town Undesirables at the grocery store, because you wouldn't want to be Morally Tainted by saying Hello to a divorcee!

It's kind of similar to the whole issue about people still writing HP fic. Am I interested in HP fic? TBH not at all - the author had soured it for me with her behaviour even before it was obvious how much she hated trans people. Do I think the people doing it are somehow harming anyone or putting money in JKR's pocket? I honestly can't see how, and so far none of the people adamantly against it have managed to explain it to me in a satisfying way, so I'm just gonna let it slide off me as another random internet hobby I don't get or care about.

--

My reaction is "Do you understand how Tumblr works? Do you?"

We have enough trouble with people reblogging barely-hidden anti-kink or homophobic shit. Who has time for cootie-based problems?

[lyrarizi]

THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSION ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL LEAKS

i sadly saw the leaks of hazbin s2 and now a whole plotpoint is ruined for me, i can make sure if you are still saved from seeing them, this is my advice just take a couple days of social media ESPECIALLY of tiktok and wait until the leaks are removed from platforms because they are HEAVY leaks they arent just some simple conversations

how i found out is a gacha reaction video on youtube without ANY spoiler warnings, just dont watch upcoming reaction vids if you consume them people WILL take profit and make reactions, under the cut is the exact name of the video but im not going to type that here since its kinda on the nose and will give you a huge idea of what the leak is about

ALSO: i said under the cut that comments are a safe space to talk and discuss about the spoiler so do NOT look at them since they will showcase spoiler, so to make it clear hopefully

DO NOT LOOK IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO STAY SPOILER FREE PLEASE <3

under the cut is discussion about one of the leaks so if you want to stay spoiler free i beg you do not read further

so about that leak..

i do not like it one bit, i am praying to god its fake because it is such a weird choice

because as we see in the leak rosie owns alastor's soul, that is heavily implied, and i myself do not like this choice

we can clearly see alastor does not like rosie and rosie only sees him as a pet and calls him so, this just ruins their whole dynamic for me

alastor and rosie seemed genuine friends and loved to spend time with one nother they were really cute, i thought alastor finally had somone he could lean on

so this

is all fake, all of alastor's moments that we thought were rare moments of his real joy, are fake.

rosie being happy that her best friend has returned from his 7 years disappearance to who knows where?

fake, she's just happy her pet is home to clean up her dirty work..

this also puts into perspective that alastor really does not have any real friends, niffty still always is on his leash so there is a power imbalance, husker probably hates him, vox hates him too and when they were friends i think alastor only was there for the entertainment or he saw him not as a friend anymore as soon as vox confessed

but i really do not like this.

i saw those two as a genuine friendship, married for tax benefits, queerplatonic, best friends for life, even lovers,

not as master/pet

they were cute together, alastor finally had someone he could trust and rosie had someone she could hangout with, gossiping together, rosie enables alastor and alastor enables rosie, maybe they were a bit transactional but you could clearly see they cared about eachother

in the leak we see a total different dynamic, alastor hates rosie and plays along with her, rosie takes delight in alastor's suffering and degrades him like calling him "pet" puts him in cages, uses him as a doll

this is the video i looked at:

im not shaming them this is just the internet but this clearly shows the leak without any sort of warning on the title, cover, or even in the description, i knew nothing about alastor's deal leaks so i had no idea this one would show leaks

as far as i know this the only gacha reaction up to this point where they react to leaks

but now, while i have been writing this post i have been thinking about it.

this is a fun twist i can say, nobody was seeing this coming this is an actual surprise

i can accept and deal with the fact that rosie is alastor's soulowner and maybe still find enjoyment in it, i mean i always love to see alastor suffer and him having 0 real friends is pretty funny (AND SAD)

but if you want to talk about the leaks here in the comments is a safe space to discuss, i can understand you would like to talk with someone about this revelation so come say hi in the comments if you want :D

UPDATE:

So have been thinking about the leak for a bit once i let it sink in

We saw the leak and it looks real (good animation that is hazbin hotel style and the voices are not ai or someone must have had a really good bot for that)

But just because we saw the leak doesn't mean we have context for it

I still am a full believer in the eve/roo theory even after this leak and have been pondering on this animatic

What if roo posessed or shapeshifted into rosie??

We know Alastor doesn't have a good relation with his soulowner and he seems to genuinely like rosie's company, he even bleats and his pupils dilate thats not something you can controle

So it makes no sense for it to be actually rosie

My theory is that roo wanted to be extra petty towards Alastor and decided to sing that song to him as rosie, because whats better than singing a song about owning their soul as their only real loyal best friend??

I know i'm just stretching at this point but i refuse to believe this without context and hazbin is already hella fucking complicated so this could fit

Anyways what do you think? You think this leak is real or fake, do you also not believe it or are you in denial? Lemme know i'm curious and love to trade theories! <3

[thenaiads]

From the article:

Researching "proship"

I realized I'd probably have to deal with this at some point. I figured it would be difficult if I didn't understand the meaning of "proshipper" in the first place, but when I tried looking it up there were no articles in Japanese that explained it, so I had an American acquaintance explain it to me.

ship = coupling [TN: In Japanese, ships are referred to as "couplings." As a side note, this is often abbreviated as "CP," which can often lead to misunderstandings among English-speakers.]

pro = problematic

proship = problematic ships

proshipper = people who ship problematic couplings

(* I later learned that this was incorrect, as detailed in "The actual meaning of 'proshipper.'")

"Problematic" can refer to adult-minor ships, incestuous ships, abusive ships, sexual depictions of same-age underage ships, etc... Basically, anything that would be unacceptable in real life.

The standards for this can be very strict―for example, depicting a relationship between a 17- and 18-year-old (the age of majority in the US), or rooting for/showing positive depictions of a character who has been abusive in the past. It's a concept that may be difficult to understand in Japan, where all fictional depictions are allowed, and fanwork of shonen series are especially popular.

However, the ship I drew featured two 15-year-olds, or their post-timeskip 19-year-old versions. They are a canon ship in the original work, and I hadn't drawn any pictures of them sexually. The creators also officially permit fanworks. In the end, I couldn't really understand how that made me a proshipper―I figured I must have somehow violated some kind of foreign fandom etiquette, so I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, and decided to just forget about it again.

From this site:

You should Read this page on Reddit too ...... When I say that I'm a Proshipper THIS is what I mean!!! Not that i'm some creepy ped*, you fucking dumbass 😠🤬🖕🖕🖕 Go to the church and stay out of fandoms, if you have this mentality 😠🤬🖕🖕🖕!!!!

I have never read a more excellent article

[jasmineandcedar]

The bargain

An Elriel one-shot (Elain’s POV).

This one-shot is inspired by @violetasteracademic's beautiful theory post about Azriel and Elain’s future bargain. You’ll find her post here.

My headcanon is that they can choose where to put their bargain tattoos, although it doesn’t seem like they can from canon. But if they could, this is one way I imagine Elain and Azriel entering a bargain could play out during a clandestine meeting in the townhouse garden…

I had so much fun writing this, although dialogue is difficult for me as English is not my native language. But I decided it was time to give it a go! I hope someone might like this as much as I liked writing it.

Warning: Fluff, kissing, sexual undertones.

-----

Elain laid sprawled across the soft grass of the townhouse garden. She knew there would probably be grass stains on her dusty pink dress. She didn’t mind that at all. That was one of the points of lying in the grass, after all. She had never liked when things were too perfect. She had secretly collected many grass stains throughout the years. Some of her favourites were the ones she had obtained during the times she spent in this particular garden with a particular shadowsinger, basking in the warmth of the sun.

She had left her shoes inside to feel the gentle touch of the lush grass under her feet. Her eyes were closed, afternoon sunlight caressing her skin like a warm blanket of the most delicate silk. The unique warmth of sunlight had a way of making her feel weightless, like she became part of the surroundings.

She opened her eyes just in time to see two starlings twirl and dance across the blue sky above, seamlessly shifting between sailing on the summer breeze and beating their wings with a cadence only nature could inspire. The hydrangea shrubs swayed in the gentle breeze to that same cadence. Heavy blossoms of crisp white weighed down their delicate branches, soft streams of hazy afternoon sunlight seeping through them to throw gentle shade across the warm grass.

Elain closed her eyes again and let the sound of the softly swaying shrubs and the delicate floral scents of the early summer blossoms connect with her senses.

Then, of course, there were those undertones of night-chilled mist and cedar, which could only mean one thing.

Azriel was sprawled on his side next to her, his head resting on a tattooed arm. Elain opened her eyes and turned to lie on her side to face him. Even surrounded by the wonders of the natural world, he was the most wondrous of them all. His dark hair caught the sunlight like a raven’s wing under moonlight. The black of his tattoos unfurled across his arms like intricate tree roots weaving across unscathed earth. His wings of jet black were sprawled gracefully behind him, illuminated by reds and golds in the early summer sun.

But most wondrous of all was that gentle soul of his that spoke to hers as tenderly as the stillness of early morning.

In this moment, sleep had finally found that gentle soul.

A soft breeze rippled through the rose bushes lining the walls of the town house, whispering of the blissfulness of early summer. It rustled lightly through Azriel’s dark hair. Elain studied his features. His lips were slightly parted, his breathing calm and slow. Rouge strands of midnight black fell across his brow, the furrow between them dissolved. He looked pristine in peaceful slumber against the floral backdrop. It was rare to find him so relaxed and for a moment Elain’s heart ached. She felt the vision of him softening her already melting heart.

How long they stayed like that she didn’t know. It could have been eons. She would have liked to stay there for eons. Maybe by then things would have changed, and a female’s choice would be enough to dictate her future.

She had made her choice already. She was looking at him.

It was unfortunate that the only acceptable choice was the one that was no choice at all.

If her choice wasn’t enough, she wished there was some other way to unravel the fabric of fate. She wanted to put a needle in it and stitch her own path across it. She was surrounded by bonds, magic, and threads but all of them seemed to just tie her in place.

Threads.

Something was tugging at her memory. A conversation Feyre had with her and Nesta shortly after they were Made.

Not threads...

Bindings. Magical ties.

Bargains.

Feyre had warned her of Fae bargains. Magical bargains that bound souls to each other, with the threat of great danger should the bargain be broken. Why Elain thought of that now she had no idea. Perhaps it was the Mother herself that gave her the idea. Or perhaps it was wishful thinking—the wish that love could trump a mating bond making her hope for things that could never be. Some would say she should have banished such foolish fantasies long ago.

But she hadn’t. Wouldn’t.

And perhaps this was it. Perhaps she could spin a new thread, superseding the stitches of fate.

Her heart soared at the thought.

Perhaps love could trump a mating bond. Her love, who was sleeping peacefully in front of her in the garden they had made theirs.

“Love,” she whispered, watching him carefully. Something stirred in the shadowsinger.

She was bursting with the need to tell him. But she couldn’t bring herself to wake him. So, she forced the thoughts aside as she waited for him to wake up. If being Made had robbed her of choice, it had given her plenty of time. They were immortal after all, a concept that had been so inconceivable from the human perspective she hadn’t yet fully grasped it.

She could wait until he woke up.

As if he had sensed her excitement, Azriel stirred again. Slowly his eyes fluttered open and Elain was met with a sleepy smile.

“Hello,” she whispered.

She let one hand travel slowly across the soft grass in the space between them.

“Hello,” he answered in a drowsy, tender voice. His hand mirrored the movements of hers.

There was freedom in the quiet collision of their fingers. The thrill of feeling his skin brush against hers was another form of weightlessness—an even better one.

“Let’s make a bargain,” Elain whispered after a few moments of silence.

“What?” Azriel said dazedly, still in that blissful space between sleep and awareness that had that sleepy smile plastered across his features. His hazel eyes moved lazily from her fingers grazing his hand to look into her eyes.

“A bargain,” she repeated.

Silence.

He blinked hard, in a way that made him scrunch his nose. Elain felt butterflies taking flight in her chest.

When he opened his eyes again, realization seemed to have dawned on him, and he narrowed his eyes to study Elain’s features.

“You do know about Fae bargains, right?”

“I do,” Elain said. “Feyre told me.”

Azriel reached out a hand to touch her shoulder. He retrieved it, holding his index finger in the air between them, eyes focused on the ladybug that was climbing up his scarred finger.

“And you know about the consequences of not upholding one?” He asked hesitantly, his eyes flickering to Elain’s before returning to the ladybug.

“I do.” She responded, following the ladybug's ascent.

“And you are aware the bargain will be marked on your body in ink?” he continued.

“I am.”

“It won’t fade until the bargain is fulfilled,” he stated plainly, his gaze returning to study Elain as the ladybug took flight, aiming for the rose bushes lining the walls of the townhouse.

“I know that too.”

“And you want to make a bargain,” he said slowly.

“I want to make a bargain with you,” Elain corrected him. She reached out her hand and swept an ebony curl from his forehead.

They watched each other in silence. She knew there were 500 years of relentless restraint battling his heart in that moment. She waited until he was ready to speak.

Finally, he laced his fingers with hers again and broke the silence.

“Let’s make a bargain then,” he echoed, curiously indulging in her peculiar pursuit. Something sparkled in his usually shadowed eyes—shadows that were nowhere to be seen now.

It was perhaps a little mad, to enter into a magical bargain on a whim. But the normally prudent shadowsinger had a soft spot for the lovely seer. Elain knew it and treated it with great care.

“What do you have in mind?” he asked.

His thumb stroked hers gently. Elain knew of the demons he had battled to be able to do that.  These days, he seemed to be winning that battle.

She looked around. Her eyes fell upon the rose bushes. Then at the wrought-iron table beside them, where she had sat with a cup of tea as Azriel sprawled on the chaise longue, sunning his wings, that first time he had taken her to the garden. Two chubby house sparrows were strutting around the area beneath the table now, looking for even more sustenance to satiate them. She smiled. That first time in the garden she had no idea how much Azriel would come to mean to her. But those rose bushes were a constant reminder of where it all had started.

“How about this,” she started and inched a little closer to him in the grass, feeling as though she was about to convey something very secret.

He would always let her have the last word. So, she weighed her words carefully.

“Whenever we see a rose, we will think of each other,” she suggested, chestnut eyes wide.

He hesitated for a moment.

“As long as there are roses you will always be bound to that bargain,” he whispered. “It can’t be fulfilled.”

“Are you saying I would be tied to you as long as there are roses in the world?” Elain asked.

Azriel’s eyes fell upon their intertwined fingers.

“That’s one way of putting it,” he said slowly, a smile crawling up the side of his face.

“Then I’ll make sure there are always roses in the world.” Elain said through a smile of her own. “I’ve been told I’m very good at planting things and keeping them alive.”

“That, you are.” It was his turn to swipe a rouge strand of golden-brown from her face. She felt her skin warm at his tender touch.

His fingers lingered, caressing her cheek. He bit his bottom lip as his gaze landed on that blush that was undoubtedly spreading across her cheeks. Elain had always found her tendency to blush a particularly bothersome one. Azriel seemed to think otherwise.

His eyes were on hers again.

“How will you explain that you suddenly have a tattoo?” he murmured.

“I don’t intend to show it.” She smirked and saw it mirrored on his beautiful features.

“Sneaky seer,” he said lovingly through his smirk as he grabbed her chin between his thumb and forefinger.

“I could put it under my foot,” Elain mused.

Azriel chuckled softly. “Clever.”

Then he leaned over, and Elain felt herself fall back into the soft grass.

“Oh, goodness,” she gasped softly.

“Indeed,” said the still smirking shadowsinger.

Suddenly Elain was looking up into his hazel eyes. The dark hair falling on his brow contrasted with the blue summer sky above them, like the blue windflowers she had only seen in books, with their dark centers and delicate blue petals. Leaning on an elbow, he swept his free hand into her hair. His thumb drew soft strokes along her cheek as his eyes travelled over her features. Elain’s hand moved to gently rest on the back of his before her eyes fluttered close. Her lips parted in a silent yes to his invitation. She felt his breath gently whisper along her cheek before he moved to press a tender kiss to her lips in the way that always made her heart flutter.

“Any other ideas?” he husked, voice vibrating against her lips.

Another kiss.

There was no demand in his kisses when he kissed like this—when he kissed her like it was the first time. Not in the way his eyes closed before he slanted his mouth over hers and slowly, tenderly, pressed their lips together. Nor in the smooth rhythm of his movements, like the quiet pulsing of waves against the sunny shore. When Azriel kissed like this, his kisses were slow and enticing, intimate and inviting—a polite question mark at the end of a mischievous suggestion of something he knew they both desired. That desire, which they so rarely got to act on, swirled between them. It tangled around them like grapevines reaching for the sunlight, full of sweet fruit ready to be picked and tasted.

They deepened the kiss, falling into their perfect rhythm. Just like they did when he so often led her into a slow dance even without music to guide them. Under starry skies, safe from watchful eyes.

Elain felt his body settle against hers, their lips locked in dance like those starlings that twirled in the summer sky. She raised her fingers to graze the sensitive skin of his neck and felt him shudder at the touch.

She wanted to explore all the ways she could make Azriel shudder.

Slowly, she let her fingers travel upwards into those soft curls of midnight black. She could swear he was smiling. She knew she was.

His hand moved to tenderly stroke her neck before he leaned back slightly, lingering in the space where their lips barely touched. His nose brushed gently against hers.

It was so quiet, as if time itself had stopped, just so they could have this moment undisturbed.

“Mmm...” he murmured softly against her lips, and she felt the smile on his. “You were saying?”

For a moment, Elain had forgotten all about bargains and tattoos, except the ones underneath his clothes.

She collected herself.

“Perhaps we could make the tattoo a tiny one behind my ear,” she whispered breathlessly, still caressing the back of his neck. She opened her eyes, only to feel that familiar warmth spread across her cheeks at the sight of him.

He leaned in again and pressed a kiss to that flush on her cheek, so featherlight that Elain almost shivered at the touch.

She let one equally featherlight finger glide down his neck in reciprocation.

“I think you can do better than that.” His voice was husky against her skin. His teeth nipped playfully at her bottom lip. “I can think of a few places.”

So could the lovely seer.

“Perhaps…” She paused and locked his gaze with hers in the way she secretly knew could bring him to his knees. “On my inner thigh.”

Azriel stilled, his face barely an inch away, eyes an unblinking swirl of hazel on hers. There was a storm beneath that calm surface. The slight shift in his scent gave it away.

“Yes,” he breathed, a little too quickly.

Excitement overtaking her, Elain pressed a hand against his chest to push him back into the grass. Azriel’s eyes widened at the sudden movement. But as they lay there on their sides again, face to face, she simply hooked her pinkie with his.

“Promise?”

He chuckled softly and hooked his pinkie with hers, eyebrows raised in puzzlement.

Nothing happened.

He watched her in silent amusement.

“I know about Fae bargains, but I don’t know the details of how you enter one,” she admitted. “I was told I shouldn’t do such things.”

Azriel laughed—quietly but unrestrained. Elain's breath caught as she took in the sight of him, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

She would kill another king to keep him laughing like this.

He bit his lower lip to collect himself.

“Is this how humans bargain?” he chuckled and wiggled his pinkie against hers.

“Some of them,” Elain said through laughter of her own. “How do we do it?”

“This… would work, actually,” he said in surprise, perhaps mostly to himself, as he watched their interlinked pinkies.

“Repeat the bargain,” he commanded, hooking his pinkie more firmly around hers.

“Whenever we see a rose, we will think of each other,” Elain recited, eyes widening in anticipation.

“Agreed,” he said.

She was still staring into those hazel eyes of his as she felt what could only be magic zap between them. It rippled through their interlinked fingers and spread through her entire body. She let out a gasp as she felt a tingle on her inner thigh.

A few silent seconds passed.

“Is it done?” she asked.

Azriel only inclined his head.

She scanned his body, the already tattooed golden-brown skin visible on his neck and arms.

“Where is your tattoo?” she asked.

“I guess you’ll have to find out,” he said through another smirk. “But perhaps not here, because I would have to take my clothes off.”

Once upon a time, she would have blushed at the suggestion.

Now she laughed.

And blushed.

The townhouse may not be used much these days, but there was no guarantee of privacy.

“You would take your clothes off for me elsewhere then?” she asked cheekily.

“It’s not like I haven’t done it before,” he said, flashing her a wicked grin.

Suddenly visions flashed before her eyes. Tanned skin under moonlight. Her back against his chest, his hand in her hair, lips on her neck and praise in her ear, the roll of his hips, and his name on her lips like a prayer.

Azriel.

Not visions. Memories.

His voice brought her back to the present.

“You only need to ask.”

Offer and permission.

She had a feeling he would do anything she asked of him. She vowed to never misuse that devotion. Azriel was far too precious to her for that.

After a long pause, his brows furrowed.

“Are there any roses that don’t look like normal roses?” he asked a little hesitantly. “What if I don’t recognize it’s a rose?”

“You will!” Elain said confidently. “I hear Fae bargains are very painful if you don’t adhere to them.”

She gave him a grave look before her smile broke free once more.

And there it was again. That unrestrained smile of his. She’d figure out all the ways to pull it out of him. She had come to find out she was quite good at that. Perhaps all that work in the gardens had taught her a thing or two about nurturing precious things to life in more ways than one. Those hazel eyes that hid so much kindness were made for smiles and laughter and love. She would make sure he knew of it.

There was also some self-indulgence in her desire to see more of that smile of his. But the way he stole glances from her, brushed his fingers against hers, or threw her wicked smirks when no one saw them had her thinking he wouldn’t mind that at all.

There was liberation in that smile.

For both of them.

“It won’t matter much, whether I know how to recognize all the roses of the world, I guess,” he said through that liberating smile of his after some contemplation, leaning over to pin her to the grass once more.

“It won’t?” Elain asked, running a hand through his hair.

He smiled against her neck as he spoke.

“I think about you all the time, anyway.”

[777gojosgf]

reader deals with heavy depression after geto disappeared

tw: heavy heavy talk about depression

a/n: i haven’t posted on here for like 2 months and this was in my angsty drafts for awhile lol so it’s pretty shit but err whatever

another side note: reader already deals with seasonal depression but geto’s disappearance was like triggering

——

the pounding in your head never came to cease, a rhythmic movement you have grown to crave instead of avoid. the longing of letting yourself succumb to these dark thoughts because it’s the only time you feel like yourself.

as if you were born miserable.

you laid on the floor of your dorm room, the scribbled down notes splattered with tears were all across your room. you had decided to take up the advice to write your feelings down in a way to sort whatever you felt inside. however, you found yourself unable to put it into words.

it’s a feeling that someone who has never felt it is not able to imagine it. after all, what sane person craves to be sad?

however, it's possible that this is what gave you a sense of aliveness at this moment. and it's not just some kind of sadness, nor is it because you want attention. it’s a seasonal condition that resurfaces the instant you manage to get back on your feet and start living your life normally again.

it returns in moments of enjoyment, when everyone is together and making jokes. yet, you feel out of place, as if you are not present with them. your mind wanders to thoughts you shouldn't have in such a nice setting. it’s as if you attract these sombre ideas and are unable to adjust to the tranquilly that everyone else appears to have.

you were so tired of feeling like you were crazy.

you were unable to do anything once he left. it felt as if time had stopped, but life compelled you to continue. why did it appear like it did not matter to anyone? how could everyone just keep living and looking at you with pity?

it truly wears you down to be bound to someone for so long.

sometimes you wish you could crawl out of your body and see yourself from a different perspective. to check if you could still feel the anguish or if it was simply embroidered in your bones. if there was anything else to you but this sense of nothingness.

you had never felt lonelier than in a room full of your friends.

the worst part of it all was that nothing helped.

you knew that it would get better.

and it does get better.

but how much worse can things get before you glimpse the light again? how long will it be before your brief moment of enjoyment fades?

you had considered running after him. must set aside all your principles, because what morals are there to follow if you don't have the one thing in your life that keeps you going?

what’s the point in anything if not for love?

you wanted to shout that your brain simply functions in this manner and that you weren't being dramatic. knowing you are unable to stop the self-destruction your body has created. that, like everyone else, you have made a sincere effort to get up and make the most of it. you really did try. you all had a wound to heal, but you chose to leave it open.

so when gojo broke down your door and fell down beside you to see if you were still alive after not having left your dorm room for days—even though it had seemed you were getting better—you had knew that everything has gone too far.

this emptiness inside of you.

the agony.

everything went too far.

he went too far.

and you were aware that you could not have accomplished what he did in any lifetime. that you couldn't force yourself to crawl after him because you would never stoop so low.

after years of telling each other broken promises that are now coming back to haunt you, there was only one thing left to realise: you had to carry on. it was not your fault that you felt the way you did, and there is probably no way to fix it. but it was time to let yourself heal and accept that you are not okay.

that it’s okay to ask for help.

if not for yourself, than for your friends.

gojo had not been able to shake you out of your paralyzed state, and it wasn’t until the feeling of his tear dropping on your face that you finally looked at him. him shouting that you can’t let it get to you, that he can’t lose you too fell almost deaf upon your ears.

you had allowed yourself to sit up straight and fall into his arms, tears silently pouring down your cheeks in a strange sensation of relief, which only exacerbated your already severe headache. you were both sobbing as you huddled together in your dorm room. both unwilling to accept what has happened and forced to continue pretending to understand.

neither of you had mentioned that night ever again.

there was a before geto, a during geto, but you never imagined there would be an after him, and it would be so devastating.

but you were grateful gojo found you when he did; otherwise, there was no guarantee you'd be here today. teaching the next generation while the memory of geto stays with you.

he would always be a part of you, and you had learnt to accept and love it rather than allowing it to break you apart.

to heal.

[woofs-silly-ships]

Oh. Oh holy hell

HEAVY WARNING FOR THE HAZBIN LEAKS. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BE MAD AT ME IF YOU WILLINGLY CLICK ON THIS AND GET SPOILED.

Tw: Mentions of Poison/Angel Dust’s abuse, Aphobia (from Viv and Hazbin, not me. Frick Aphobes or any kind of queerphobe /srs)

This is almost certainly real and that makes me

I think I feel worse than when the Poison leaks happened

And that was bad

Yet I think this might be worse… because at least some survivors do relate to and find comfort in Poison and Angel as a whole. At least people knew he was suffering from and dealing with this abuse. This… people couldn’t have seen this coming.

Alastor and Rosie’s relationship was one of the few actually well written ones in this freaking show. And they just screwed it the hell up

Alastor being owned by/selling his soul to Lilith made so much sense. Of course Lilith would care about his child’s dream, of course she would hide him away in heaven after a (likely) bad fight with Vox, of course if he was in heaven nobody could find him, of course he’d be so fearful of the literal Queen of hell.

If Alastor is owned by Rosie, why the hell would he actually be genuinely comfortable around her as shown in season one? Rosie wouldn’t give a shit about the hotel as well, I’m sorry but like huh??? She has 0 relation to the founders or guests besides Al??? Also there’s no freaking way that Rosie would be able to hide Alastor IN HELL FOR 7 FREAKING YEARS AND AVOID ALL DETECTION. If Vox’s cameras didn’t catch him in a HEAVILY POPULATED TOWN, there’s literally no way some random diner didn’t catch a glimpse of him or something??? And Al is probably on the level below Rosie power wise, there’s no way he wouldn’t have rebelled at some point, even if he lost???

But yeah, I’m beating around the bush here. Elephant in the room time.

The whole song and animation and everything leans WAYYYY too into the aspect of Alastor being Rosie’s pet, and that creeps me out so much. Because it again feels fetishized. Way too reminiscent of pet play and such, which I already don’t like on its own but I’m not getting into that. I wouldn’t even have an issue with it if

1. Rosie was portrayed as an actual big bad and not “secretly silly”, same issue as Val

2. ALASTOR WASNT FREAKING ASEXUAL. AND ROSIE WAS LITERALLY THE ONE TO CONFIRM THAT IN CANON (the “ace in the hole” scene was one of my favorites and now it’s ruined for me. Of course.)

I know k!nky asexuals exist and are completely valid and yall are awesome, and I’d be fine seeing that represented if, you know, ALASTOR WASNT SHOWN TO BE FREAKING SEX REPULSED?? HAVE WE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE FREAKING

^^^ THIS???

AND GOING BACK TO WHAT I SAID BEFORE: AT LEAST SURVIVORS WHO RELATE TO ANGEL KNEW THAT HE WAS A VICTIM LONG BEFORE THE RELEASE OF POISON AND S1. MANY FELT BETRAYED BY IT AND THATS VERY VERY VALID, BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN FAR WORSE (as in, Addict could’ve never existed, Angel fans including survivors could’ve had no idea of what he was going through before being thrown into the mess that is Poison). THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO FORESHADOWING OF THIS WITH ALASTOR. IVE SEEN SO MANY ASEXUALS LOVE AND RELATE TO AL AND TAKE WHAT LITTLE REPRESENTATION THEY GET IN STRIDE, AND IM SO SCARED TO SEE THEM DEAL WITH THE FETISHIZATION OF THEIR SEXUALITY. THAT WILL HURT ME MORE THAN WHATEVER THE PLOT DOES. IF YOU ARE ASEXUAL AND RELATE TO AL THEN I AM SO FREAKING SORRY FOR YOU, ESPECIALLY IF THIS ENDS UP HURTING YOU AS MUCH AS IT DOES ME /GEN

ALSO, APPARENTLY VIV IS DOUBLJNG DOWN FROM POISON BECAUSE THERE’S SOME CHEERY UPBEAT AH MUSIC BEING SUNG ABOUT ALASTOR BASICALLY BEING CHAINED AND ABUSED FOR THE MAJORITY OF HIS AFTERLIFE AND ALSO BASICALLY BEING SHOVED INTO A PET-PLAY KINK LIKE THING AS AN UNWILLING AND UNCOMFORTABLE (AND ASEXUAL) PARTICIPANT

Urghhh, I’m sorry I just really needed to get that out. Posting this on my selfship blog since it’s more contained and I have 2 Hazbin f/os anyway

Since I’m here anyway, yeah my Hellaverse AU won’t have any of this crap. Alastor will be owned by either Lilith or Roo, whichever one makes more sense when S2 comes out and we see more of Lilith and see if Roo was scrapped or not. Right now he’s owned by Lilith in the AU and his relationship with Rosie is exactly like in S1: genuine and comfortable. I’m sorry but I’m not letting Vic’s awful plot direction here ruin one of the few good relationships in the show.

And I’m sorry if any of this is exaggerated by accident, I’m just, er, very passionate about minorities being disrespected this badly and this is kinda just me dumping my thoughts and rage into writing /gen

On a small but light note, the other clip is actually really cool!! Makes sense for Heaven to have Goitia as well as Hell, and as long as this bird doesn’t turn out Stolas then I’m pretty happy with this :D

[leighsartworks216]

Red String of Fate

Sylus x gn!Reader

Spent like an hour talking to my roommate in the middle of posting this. Not proofread (even tho I really should) Takes place in the Raven universe

Warnings: red string of fate, birthday, past trauma, past character death, fluff, kissing, crying, presents

Word Count: 3,082

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

“You ask-”

“No, you-”

You snap your fingers. The loud click shuts up the twins in an instant and draws them from the shadows of the doorway into the room. They look decidedly anxious, midway between shoving each other forward. You raise a brow at them.

They look at each other. With a shared nod, they stand side by side in front of you. “When’s your birthday?” they both ask at once.

… Really? All that fuss just to ask when you were born? You give them an unimpressed stare. Interrupting your alone time was really worth this?

“It’s just that we-”

“Were wondering since Boss’s birthday is in April-”

“And if yours is before-”

“Or after-”

“His then we can start preparing right now!”

You tap your finger against the armrest. Your persistent silence unnerves them, even after you’ve been here for almost a year at this point. It’s nice, especially now that they’ve had time to adjust to it. It took a lot of confidence to ask you such a stupid question, after all. Too bad you don’t have any interest in answering.

You turn back to your book, signaling the end of the conversation. The twins look at each other, shrug, and leave. Once they’re safely past the open doorway and down the hall, you set your book down.

A birthday growing up sounded like some magical, wondrous event. Candy, games, cake, presents. How many nights had you dreamed of them? How many times had you seen a group of kids in cone hats in the park, parents trying to round them all up so they could blow out candles and dig into the carefully decorated cakes, with cursive writing on top wishing the special one a happy birthday?

The best you managed to scrounge up was when you were maybe 10 years old, give or take a few years. A new soup kitchen opened up. You lined up on the block with the other homeless, starving people of the city. The promise of hot food was always worth the pitying glances and disgusted glares.

When it was your turn in line, after waiting all morning until your legs were just about ready to give out, the person working there had dug through a crinkled brown paper bag to give you a squished brownie wrapped in cling film. That night, an older man you’d known well, had you blow out his lighter to make a wish. You’d split the brownie with him.

When he died less than a week later, something in you died with him. You hadn’t had a brownie since, or much else in the way of sweets, for that matter. As soon as the Devil picked you up into his business, they were off the table completely. The only real thing that improved was how frequent your meals were, without the anxiety of never eating again. But not the quantity; you had to stay thin for the stage.

You don’t even remember what day that soup kitchen opened. Well, there’s no reason to look into it now. Enough bad memories have been dredged up today.

Your phone buzzes with a message.

The twins are asking me when your birthday is. I assume they already tried asking you?

They left just a few minutes ago.

There’s no response for a minute, as if he knows he’s stepping on a thin line between things you do talk about and things you’ll never talk about.

Do you want to celebrate it?

You have to take a moment to think, to consider what he’s offering here.

You have no idea when your birthday is, and he probably gleaned as much. That’s not what he’s asking, though. If you could stare at a calendar, at every single day of the year all perfectly laid out, when would you pick to celebrate your life? It wouldn’t be a celebration of your birth, but it could be so much more. You’re not even sure what adults do for their birthdays, so separated from the concept that you stopped paying attention entirely. But you could choose to do anything - everything.

Your thumb hovers uncertainly over the digital keyboard, before finally typing out a message.

I think I would.

Just say when, sweetheart.

-

The second the twins are told your “birthday” is just a month away, on the day you agreed to work alongside Sylus, it’s all they seem to care about. Huddling together to excitedly whisper about it during missions, probing questions into what you like (mostly to Sylus, but sometimes they get so excited they ask you before realizing you won’t answer), hiding packages delivered to the mansion, and so on.

Sylus is much better about containing his excitement, if he is excited at all to celebrate your special day. He asks first if there’s anything special you’d like to do - dinner, shopping, traveling - you name it and he’s on it. When you admit that you have no idea what people do on their birthdays, he’s all too happy to list out things, without judgement. If he’s honest, he doesn’t do much to celebrate his own birthday either.

You think about the parties you watched as a kid. Piece by piece, you break it down into things you think you’d like.

First and foremost, you wouldn’t mind a cake or some other dessert. Sylus is right on it, suggesting that you both visit a cake shop to figure out what your preferences are before the twins go overboard with a flavor you don’t like. The owners think you’re planning for your wedding. Neither of you correct them.

Second, the games. Whether it’s Kitty Cards or Texas Hold ‘Em, you think it would be fun to play a game or two with Sylus and the twins. Gambling may or may not be involved.

Third, you remember one kid in your youth who was all dressed up in a suit by his parents, all to visit some cheap arcade. You would like to dress up. Sylus chuckles at this one, not because he thinks it’s silly, but because he’s always prepared to have a custom wardrobe built for you. He promises to have a tailor discuss your ideas with you.

As far as birthdays go, it’s nothing crazy outlandish like some of the things Sylus told you people do. At the end of the day, all you really want is to dress up, go to dinner with him (alone), come back to play games with the twins, and have cake. You don’t want the world in the palm of your hands, because you don’t need it. You’ve never wanted it.

Once your desires are laid out, Luke and Kieran calm down a bit. They’re no longer trying to plan this whole big bash, but scheming up ways to win the games against you and Boss, the notorious cheaters that they are. (They’ll never win, but they’re not going down without a fight.)

Mephisto spends the entire time leading up to the day gathering trinkets and withholding them from you. Usually, if he sees something shiny, he brings it straight to you for wordless praise and chin scratches. You know right away what he’s up to. You pretend not to notice for his sake.

Your outfit is ready in less than a week, the cake is baked with all the flavors you enjoyed at the shop, and you couldn’t be happier.

Sylus can’t tear his eyes off of you when you finally reveal your custom attire. Throughout the night, he can’t stop telling you how amazing you look, encouraging you to have more outfits made for future events. The restaurant he chose has a balcony that you two sit on, staring out over a stretch of beach. The ocean breeze carries the bite of salt, refreshing you for the rest of the night ahead.

You tell Luke and Kieran you’ll be home before midnight, but you drag Sylus out to the beach and get sidetracked. He can’t stop smiling as he holds your shoes and watches you run out into the shallow waves. The moon shines on the soft waves behind you, bathing you in an ethereal glow. By the time you do get back to the mansion, your hair is windswept and you have sand everywhere, but you don’t mind at all.

The games are so fun. Luke says you’re cheating by sitting in Sylus’s lap during Kitty Cards, but you gesture for him to sit on Kieran’s lap while he plays. Sylus doesn’t assist you in the game at all; Kieran points out moves and subtly switches the cards in Luke’s hand for the ones hidden up his sleeve. They don’t win a single game.

The cake is beautiful, decorated to perfection and topped with a few candles. You stare at the cursive on top for a moment. When they sing you the song (even Sylus), he notices the distance in your eyes. He kisses the top of your head when the song is over to snap you out of it. You don’t actually make a wish when you blow out the little, flickering flames. There’s nothing you want, and lingering too long trying to figure a wish out only draws the memories of the old man closer to the forefront of your mind.

You cut the first slice. Sylus cuts the rest. He’s not big on sweet things, but he finishes his thin slice anyway. You savor every bite. It’s paradise in your mouth. He has to cut off the twins from having any more, lest they make themselves sick.

Each of them has a present for you. Well, Mephisto has several. He flies to and fro for a while, bringing you little trinkets and shiny things that all pile up on the table. You take the time to look at and admire each one, even sorting them into different groups based on what they are. You wind up with a humorous amount of bottle caps.

Luke gets you a new pair of handguns. Kieran gets you a harness with holsters to hold them in on missions. Sylus gives you a photo album, full of photos from the year you’ve spent together. You sit pressed into his side on the couch and flip through it, page by page. You can see yourself relaxing with each picture. Just a few days after you start working with Sylus, you offer the camera a mischievous smile that doesn’t reflect in your eyes. In the last photo, from a few days ago, you look like a different person; you smile without fear, your guard is let down. The person you were at the gala a year ago has finally found someone to trust.

As the night comes to a close, the twins wish you happy birthday once more before heading off to bed. The mess is left for someone else to deal with. Your presents sit on the table and wait to be put away as Sylus leads you up to what’s become your shared bedroom.

You’re positively glowing. It’s all Sylus can think as you both lay perpendicular over the blankets. Your head rests on his stomach, his fingers trail slowly through your hair, and in just a few hours, the sun will be rising. Yet here you are, too happy to sleep just yet. You want to bask in this feeling a little longer.

You understand now why Luke and Kieran were so enthusiastic, why all those kids from your childhood couldn’t bear the thought of waiting another year for their next birthday, why adults continue to celebrate. You can’t remember the last time you felt a joy like this. It feels all bubbly in your chest, almost surreal, as memories of things that happened just hours ago draw out dopey smiles and lingering giggles. Sylus’s eyes are impossibly soft as he takes you in.

You’re still in the outfit you wore to dinner. He’s still in his suit, sans his jacket. Two pairs of shoes are kicked off carelessly beside the bed. Nothing else matters except right here, right now, soaking in the final vestiges of the night.

He brushes his thumb along your cheek, drawing your eyes to look up at him, that sweet grin still dancing on your face. His fingertips trail featherlight along your jaw, tracing your chin and brushing at your lips. You reach up to hold his hand in place as you kiss his fingers, eyes closing in bliss as you leave pecks down each one, only to leave a lingering kiss to his palm. You look back up at him. He smiles.

“I have one last gift for you,” he says quietly, as if speaking any louder would shatter every window and mirror throughout the entire mansion.

You tilt your head, curiosity drawing your brows together in a silent question. Your smile stays the same. He shifts, helping you sit up so you’re side by side, just facing opposite directions. You watch as his Evol reaches out to the nightstand drawer, pulling out a box and placing it in his awaiting hand. He offers it to you with purpose.

It’s simple, but beautiful nonetheless. Carefully carved wood, rich in color, with a domed lid and rounded edges. It’s about the length of your palm, and no wider than three fingers. A red silk ribbon in a bow ties it together, preventing the hinged lid from being opened. You glance back up at him. He nods toward it.

The silk slips softly through your fingers as you tug on one end of the bow. The knot falls apart, and the ribbon slides onto your lap. You lift the lid and-

You look up at Sylus, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock. He smiles broadly at your reaction. You look back at the present, emotion bubbling up in your chest once more. It feels even more powerful than earlier. Your eyes burn, but you fight back the tears.

Two rings perch side by side within the velvet-lined box. Red jewels decorate golden bands, shimmering in the dim lighting of his bedroom. A matching set. This is far more than just a pair of earrings or cufflinks, this is…

The first tear falls. You hold the box to your chest as you lean toward Sylus. He meets you halfway, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. His broad chest shields you from the rest of the world, hiding the emotions you only allow him to see. Which is wonderful, because you feel so silly, crying over a present like this. He’s given you so much in your time together. Anything you could ever dream of and more - always more. Always trying to make sure you’re happy and comfortable. This is like him giving you the world. You can’t ask for anything greater than that.

“Read the engraving,” he whispers, gently pulling the box from your chest. He holds it while your shaky fingers, usually so steady and sure, pull the smaller ring from the cushion. It takes a minute to see, having to wipe your eyes several times to get rid of the steady flow of tears.

You are my new destiny.

You cover your mouth with your free hand, muffling the sounds that try to escape. It’s usually so easy to be quiet, even under the worst torture. It seems impossible to shut up now.

Sylus pulls your hand away from your mouth, abandoning the box on the bed next to you, and cupping your cheek to wipe away the tears. He kisses your forehead. “May I put it on you?”

You nod immediately. He takes the ring from your trembling fingers and holds your left hand. You watch, entranced, as he slips it onto your pinky. It fits perfectly. The red jewel glimmers, mirror Sylus’s eyes when you look up at him. He lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a delicate kiss over the ring.

You giggle, a soft and wet sound. You can feel his smile against your fingers. You’ve never felt so light before.

You turn to the box, using your free hand to carefully take out the larger ring. The band is a bit wider than yours, but the design holding the jewel in place is almost identical. You don’t need to ask or even gesture for him to give you his left hand; he offers it right away, still holding your left hand as he does. You slip the golden ring onto his pinky. Overcome with rapturous emotion, you hold his hand in both of yours and bring it to your lips, kissing the ring just as he had as a quiet, happy sob breeches your lips.

He wraps his arm around you, drawing you to rest against him, your joined hands resting over his erratic heart. His head is ducked down to rest against yours, kisses pressing over the crown of your head. His heart aches in the best way to be granted the opportunity to see you like this.

Your fingers play affectionately with his, thumbing over his ring and massaging his palm. When he returns the favor, brushing over your ring or gathering both of your hands in his just to hold them, you let out airy little laughs that burrow their way into his heart, where they will stay for the rest of time.

You use your right hand to finally wipe the last of your tears away, unwilling to let go of the bond that ties you together. You pull back just enough to look up at his face with a big, beaming grin. He leans his forehead against yours, your noses brushing against each other.

“I love you,” you whisper. It comes out crackly and hoarse, but it sounds like music to his ears.

“I love you, too,” he whispers back. “In every lifetime, I will find you. For the rest of eternity. Always.”

You tilt your chin up to capture his lips. It starts slow, a mere vessel for the vow he made, a seal that forces this change in fate he is creating. It doesn’t take long for it to grow hungry and desperate for each other. Not long at all until he’s cradling your neck, cold metal pressing against your skin, as he lowers you back into the bed, leaning his body over yours and supporting himself so all his weight isn’t crushing you.

“Happy birthday,” he breathes into your mouth, “my beloved.”

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter

[burningcheese-merchant]

When Burning Spice was introduced a lot of people made comparison with Capsaicin, and even thought they were related. You have any thoughts on that?

I do, and you're all probably going to be very disappointed lol

Not only do I NOT vibe with the idea that they're related, I'm actually really annoyed that it's as popular as it is lol. It doesn't even make sense. Burning Spice was in prison for thousands of years; when, where and how did he have a kid? At what point in time did this occur? Capsaicin is a young man. A regular mortal, outside of his "Spice Overlord" thing. I ask you all again: when? Where? How? WHY? Has anyone ever actually thought this through?

"ThEy LoOk SiMiLaR" okay, and? So fucking what? Neither of them own the concept of "long hair" or "muscles" or "sharp teeth". Pitaya has those too, and he has an arguably more substantial connection to Capsaicin because they're actually from the same fucking area. Happenstance. Lots of characters in this game have similar attributes, that doesn't necessarily mean anything

"ThEy'Re BoTh SpIcY" Refer to point A. Do you all think all the nut-based cookies are related, too? That's the logic you might as well be operating on. Correlation is not causation

"Blah blah both jail" you know how many characters in this whack-ass phone game count as felons, bro? How many of them SHOULD count as felons lol? The Cookie Run universe might as well be one giant Alcatraz with all the shit these little affronts to God get up to every day, I ain't making them all each other's relatives because of it

They're the wrong ages for them to be family. Burning Spice was serving a life sentence since long before Capsaicin was even thought of, he literally got out after the guy was already a grown ass man. They're not even from the same fucking CONTINENT! Capsaicin has probably never even HEARD of Beast-Yeast! Even that little comic the CRK Twitter account posted makes fun of all this shit!!! The Wild Spices mistake Cap for Spice from behind, and then get confused when he turns around because THEY VERY CLEARLY DO NOT KNOW WHO HE IS AND HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE! Wouldn't an army know if their general had a son, even if it was only mentioned in passing? Wouldn't THIS army have a vested interest in having their general's son around if he existed, and stop at nothing to bring him home should he vanish, to gain favor with Spice and because of how powerful Capsaicin is and how useful he could be to them?

I wouldn't be so bent out of shape about all this if it wasn't LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!! I cannot enjoy any content of Burning Spice OR Capsaicin without having to endure a fucking barrage of "hurr durr father and son" posts!!! I just want to ogle my hot, sexy, deliciously evil spice man BY HIM-FUCKING-SELF in peace, I never asked to have to hear the exact fucking same "hi son I came back with the milk" joke over and over and over again

I know I sound like a massive dick right now and I'm truly sorry. You are more than welcome to think of these two as related in some way if you wish. I am not your mother, nor your leader, nor your god, I'm just some cringe loser on the internet. Enjoy this game and its characters in whatever way you choose. I even actually like a good bit of the father/son art, a lot of it is cute and funny. I'm able and willing to say that with complete sincerity.

I just wish I didn't have to feel like it's being forced on me. That is one of the biggest issues I have with this fandom: how oppressive it often feels. You MUST ship this particular pairing, you MUST headcanon these characters as family, you MUST take this one-off joke that was clearly just a goddamn joke and preach it 24/7/365 like it's the gospel truth that Devsis themselves wrote on stone tablets and delivered from the top of Mount Sinai. And then when someone doesn't want to do that, everyone else descends upon them like a plague of fucking locusts. I actually saw a Dad Spice + Son Cap post on here with the person who made it saying something like "ok since everyone agrees that these two are family [...]" and I just got so fucking irritated. No, actually, not everyone agrees. Not everyone agrees on a lot of the fanon that's shoved down the entire community's throats on a regular basis. PLEASE stop acting like they do. I still remember when people would get flat-out harassed for not acting like Herb is Sea Fairy's son (old ass drama lol).

Say what you will about me, I'm just one person and you can block me or whatever dumb tags I use for my dumb shit. There is NOWHERE I can go to avoid this. Twitter? Plagued. Tumblr? Plagued. Even fucking reddit is on this nonsense (only in my personal opinion). But that's what I get for acknowledging Reddit in any capacity lol

I shall once again sincerely apologize for my harsh tone here, I am not attacking you personally or anyone who headcanons these two as relatives. I am just generally, profoundly frustrated and I need to get it out. I appreciate you taking the time to ask me an honest question, I hope you can forgive me for my painfully honest answer

[mimicofmodes]

I saw a post going around about costube historians analyzing period film costumes for accuracy and it kind of got under my skin, so I'm sitting down and writing ... not exactly a response to it, but a discussion of the topic.

(It would be a direct response except that I don't actually watch costube, because quite frankly I can't watch/listen to people discuss things I already know. And I don't want to be like "they don't do X!" when maybe they really do X and I'm just not aware. But a lot of the complaints hit the same points that have been brought up against fashion historians for reviewing costumes for decades. I would also note that I have looked into specific videos where there were claims of terrible costuber behavior and watched them and found nothing.)

If you're going to analyze a period film's costuming in any way, you should still interact with the historical aspect to some degree. If you want to talk about the use of bold stripes in Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow, for instance, and you don't mention that they were in style during the period the film appears to be set in, it's kind of weird.

Likewise, yes, if you're critiquing primarily from the angle of historical accuracy, you should also engage to at least some extent with the reasoning behind the inaccuracy. If a reviewer doesn't do so at all, then yes, their review is probably not as good as it could be.

People pointing out an inaccuracy (or many inaccuracies) are not inherently scolding the costume designer. Even if their tone is something other than sweet. Sometimes they are scolding other people involved in the production, like the director who mandated a particular costume, or just a general notion of TPTB. Usually they are divorcing the art from the artist, though, and just reviewing the costuming from their particular viewpoint and knowledge base for a likeminded audience.

Sometimes, yes, they are complaining directly about the costume designer. This is not a crime. Some costume designers (for instance, Sandy Powell) have an incredible grasp on fashion history and excellent taste when it comes to diverging from it. Others simply don't have as in-depth of an understanding and make design decisions sometimes based on stereotypes and myths. Some costume designers will explain their decisions in interviews or blog posts and make it clear that they didn't make a truly informed decision about accuracy because they didn't know enough about the period. It's important for both sides of the equation to stop painting the other with too broad of a brush ("ivory-tower elitists who have no idea of a production's needs or budget" vs. "costumers who know how to sew but not how to do historical research").

If you're allowed to complain about a writer or a director or an actor doing something you don't like in a movie, you're also allowed to complain about a costume designer. You're allowed to have aesthetic preferences, and even to talk about them without hedging every five seconds to make it clear that others can disagree, although some of this is beneficial with any critique. Why would it be otherwise?

This seems really obvious to me, but maybe it's not? But "they costumed that female actor in an anachronistically sexy way because sex sells" is a feminist issue. The assumption that women's bodies should be sites of less-clothed allure while men's should attract by being more covered (with more layers than in modern dress, with cravats, etc.) is sexist. Complaints about female characters being costumed inaccurately are often being made along these lines, and pointing out that the producers insisted on it or something does not mean it's suddenly unproblematic that every female character deemed fuckable has to have low necklines at all times and modern shiny hair.

It's true that fiction isn't non-fiction and shouldn't be taken that way, but it's also demonstrably true that viewers do take cliches in film aesthetics as accurate when they see them enough times. People cite Scarlett O'Hara's 18" waist. They believe there were no bright colors before the 1920s and that women couldn't have put their hair up unless they were wealthy. These beliefs have consequences when it comes to public perceptions of history, and if films perpetuate them it's perfectly reasonable to point out that they support ideas about e.g. gender roles that trads express today.

It's also simply funny when a film's hair or costuming or makeup is supposed to evoke a lack of artifice but actually requires quite a bit of artifice because people don't naturally have perfect hair and skin and so on.

If you don't like reviews of period films that focus on the accuracy of the costuming, maybe ... don't watch/read reviews by fashion historians and historical costumers? At least unless they're vetted for you by someone who doesn't mind that?

[hellinhawkins]

honestly it’s probably the sharing clothes theory, or *some* of the facial expressions

“Aw Mike looks so sad after Will yelled at him :(“ Lucas did too, everyone would be upset after their best friend yelled at them- that’s not the byler proof, it’s what comes after (the rain fight in this example, specifically)

“Mike was so sad whenever Will was hugging him!!!!”: yes, he absolutely was! however: so was everyone else, they were upset too, that’s not really byler evidence. once again, it’s what comes after (the hug with Karen, the voiceover with Hopper’s letter, etc, and even those aren’t extremely relevant, we have better evidence than that)

mike’s facial expression during the van scene IS important. they’re not all a reach, that’s not what I’m saying, but some of them are just excluding the rest of the party to find the byler in it all when Lucas or Dustin or El or Max have the exact same look on their face that Mike does.

and also the hearts in their eyes during their scenes together is a bit ridiculous to me, I love the idea but I think it’s a bit too far 😭

I love reading the evidence posts but the over analyzing goes wild sometimes guys

Question for hard-core Byler shippers!!

What would you guys consider as "reaching" when it comes to Byler proof? Because a lot of it is quite obvious but there are some people who make every content drop about Byler in some way. So I was just wondering, in general, what do y'all consider as reaching?

(FYI, I am TEAM BYLER ALL THE WAY, I'm just curious because I've seen some discourse over this on TikTok but feel more comfortable asking Bylers on here, y'all are less crazy lol)

[thegayloragenda]

Okay I want to put all of my current predictions out here (these are subject to change, of course):

• I think this show is going to get a little more colorful or a little bit more gay with each show because I think she’s running out the clock.

• I am CLOWNING for an eventual pronoun change during surprise songs.

• I think Karlie will probably show up again. And if she shows up for the rep announcement I will die dead.

• I’m also clowning for a rainbow variation of every outfit or perhaps a debutation variation if she plans to drop them together. Maybe a karma outfit. Idk. I don’t really know what is coming next in regard to music or if there will be anything (what if she just went black out for a year and then dropped rep next December 😂).

• I’m split because I think she’s either going to continue this Travis stunt until the Super Bowl or she’ll break up with him while on tour (if it’s real that’s totally fine but the way this relationship has been crammed down our throats gives me the ick so bad). I have no idea how that breakup will go down especially since they’ve made an entire Christmas movie about this relationship.

• I’m still assuming we’ll get a proposal / breakup.

Overall, I don’t think Taylor Swift would pander to this side of the fandom the way she has if she didn’t have a plan to blow everything up. I assume she’s a good person. I assume she’s supportive of the fans who see her. I’ve been in this fandom long enough to know what it looks like when she’s in the closet and when she isn’t. The closet isn’t even glass anymore. The closet is just invisible at this point so if she’s just a straight girl who loves rainbows, she’s absolutely diabolical in the very worst ways.

And before anyone comes for me, yes she can be bi or pan or whatever she wants to be. I don’t care about muses or labels. I notice patterns and I can’t help but connect the dots. I see bi and lesbian dresses and her calling attention to them so that’s where my focus is. I care about freedom for her (whatever that looks like) and I also think some clarity about who she actually is will help a lot of us decide if we want to keep supporting her and giving her our money. I’m placing my bet on her being who I think she is so I’m here to support her until the end of this roller coaster ride.

I will make a post on the final day of this tour but I just want to say this: I have had the TIME OF MY LIFE in this labyrinth. I have made lifelong friends because of this side of the fandom. Thank you to ALL of my friends on here who have followed me and commented on my posts and said such kind things. Thank you to everyone who has messaged me their insights and theories. And finally, thank you to my fans who have messaged me your homophobic, brain-rotted hate comments. Good luck in the aftermath!

And to Taylor (if you ever see this), thank you for keeping my mind so stimulated. I will probably never get dementia because of you. You have been so good for my brain health. Thank you for teaching me about my own history as a queer girlie. Thank you for helping me heal my relationship with my neurodivergent self. Thank you for being the “mother” who saw me when my own mother just talks about how gross and wrong gay people are. Thank you for being kind and strong and brave in the face of shame and fear and danger. Thank you for leading a revolution of New Romantics! No one does it like you, girl. I love you so much. I hope you got a giggle over the chaos and the wrong predictions. I hope this tour brought you joy and hope and peace and healing. I know I haven’t always seen eye to eye with some of your choices, but I do respect you and I do hope the rest of your life is sunshine and rainbows and you get to hug your mom forever and take really long naps with your person after all of this is over. Long live 💜

Update: I do think the election plays a big role in how loud she can be. @casuallycruel131313 pointed this out, too. We’ll get way more once Kamala has been elected! I think Canada shows will be wildddd.

[runariya]

girl i hope you know my notifs are on and i'm so excited to read what you post next 😭 any spoilers for ccl? 👀💜

Nooo that’s so sweet of you 😭 day4 isn’t rly that intense (day5 will be tho 👀) and I fear it’s a lousy spoiler but alas lol

Thanks for enjoying and cheering me on 💕 lysm angel

~snippet below the cut~

❄️🏂🏔️♥️

“There’s nothing left to talk about. But I appreciate your concern.”

Hara just nods, staring down at the floor, rubbing her hands together between her knees while you pull on your coat and tuck your phone safely into its case.

“It’s a nice case. Did you paint it yourself?”

You glance at your phone, rubbing your thumb over the faded paint that was once so bright. You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of it after the breakup, even though it reminds you of everything good about your time with Jungkook. Maybe there’s some masochistic streak in you that wants to punish yourself for everything you did and didn’t do. Maybe it’s time to let go of all the memories that keep pulling you back to a time that’s long gone.

“No.” You sigh, tucking it away in your coat pocket with your purse and heading to the door. You pause with your hand on the handle, checking to see if Hara’s following, which she is. She’s right behind you again, and this time, you just let out a startled scream internally, hoping you don’t flinch too visibly.

Opening the door, you let her pass first, just to keep her in your sight this time, but as soon as you’re near the entrance to the main area, she stops, raising a hand. You give her a puzzled look, but she only points to one of her ears, so you lean in, trying to make out what’s being said.

First, you catch the voices of Taehyung and Namjoon, Taehyung’s voice too loud and distinct not to notice. But when you listen a bit harder, you pick up Hope and Jungkook having a different conversation, probably a little further from the others.

“I know! I know you’re a good driver. Just…”

“Just? C’mon, what’s going on with you, C?”

“Just… take care of her, okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re acting like I’m some boy who’s just got his licence and can’t be trusted—”

The rustling of your coat drowns out the rest of their conversation as you step into the room, deciding not to eavesdrop any longer. You glance around briefly, and of course, Jungkook’s eyes find yours again, but you quickly turn towards Yoongi, resting your hands on his shoulders from behind where he’s still slouched on the one-seater. He wraps his hand around your wrist, his thumb gently brushing over your pulse.

“Why was my case out in the snow?” you murmur into his ear, which earns a lazy laugh from him. He peeks over his shoulder at you, his voice still raspy from his hangover as he murmurs back.

“You thought you could yeet it away and be done with it.”

Your cheeks go warm again; drunk-you is really ridiculous in every possible way. You’re just grateful it was only Namjoon and Yoongi who saw your breakdown, and no one else.

“Right.”

“Stay safe, yeah?”

He gives your wrist a gentle squeeze, and when your eyes meet again, even though his are still glassy from last night’s antics, there’s that quiet care in them only real family can have.

“I will. Thanks for being there for me, Yoongs.” You press a quick kiss to his head and give him a brief squeeze around his shoulders, only for him to dramatically fake his own demise.

Straightening up, you meet Hope’s eyes, give him a quick nod, and head towards the door. Jungkook moves with the two of you, holding the door open without taking his eyes off you. His gaze is so intense that you can’t keep eye contact, mumbling a quiet, hurried “thanks” and “bye” as you follow Hope to his car.

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

ngl at first I thought that season 3 of jwct was going to be the last one but the more I think about it the more inclined I am to believe that maybe we are going to get more seasons?

*bone cracking sound* let's get into it, shall we?

A couple of things that jwct has to cover before the end:

Biosyn facility in Italy

Raptor Handler and Soyona meeting

Red the Atrociraptor reuniting (?) with the rest of Atrociraptors

Brooklynn (eventually) turning her back on Santos

Brooklynn reuniting with Camp Fam for real

Potentially (very high possibility) Malta

Bumpy's baby hatching (+ eventually, Bumpy and baby Bump reunion)

Tension between Sammy and her family explained

Ben's girlfriend reveal

Resolution of the tension between Kenji-Brooklynn-Darius

So this is how I see this playing out. (Head-ups - this is a result of my research but, let's be honest, also kind of a manifestation of my hopes and very much just a fan-theory. So take it easy)

If Brooklynn and Santos are really to reach Biosyn's center in Italy, I doubt it's going to be "in-and-out" type of visit. In Dominion Santos is entrusted with organizing a "transport" for Maise Lockwood; now let's remember that in the past Brooklynn researched the Lockwood mansion, I wouldn't be surprised if that came up at least briefly (perhaps, to even further ensure Soyona's trust, Brooklynn will offer some advice while simultaneously working on how to save the girl). Then, we have the matter of transported eggs – I'm sure that Brooklynn's gonna be very interested in where they are going etc etc. It's all going to take an appropriate amount of time. At the same time, the campers need time to actually reach Italy too, then potentially get to the facility (I think this is where Ben's conspiracy theory-induced knowledge may resurface – in season 1 it is confirmed that he has heard the theory about the mysterious locust).

We know that the Handler and Soyona absolutely have to meet (because both of them are hot). The Handler has three antrociraptors, Soyona only has Red. In Dominion (which takes place a little after current events of jwct) Soyona has all four antrociraptors at her disposal. Now, knowing about the bond between antrociraptors and the Hanlder, to me it kind of implies that eventually the Handler is completely separated from the raptors, and their bond is severed (does she die? does she lose her whistle and the raptors turn against her? I wouldn't put it past the showrunners to kill her tbh. Since her bond with the antrociraptors seems to be something more than just a whistle thing (as opposed to the clicking effect dr Sarr had on the Baryonyx)). I think that Soyona will call for the Handler when she realizes that the rest of Camp Fam are on their tail. Again - that takes time. The Handler has to get to Italy, find the Camp Fam, some sort of fight has to occur, she "loses" (somehow), Soyona gets pissed... All of that takes time.

Then, eventually, at some point, Brooklynn decides that she has gathered enough material to turn her back on Soyona and run away. I doubt it's going to be easy. I don't know if it's going to be a decision she makes on her own, or if it's going to be motivated by the Camp Fam being in danger. Either way, I doubt it's going to happen prior to the fouth/fifth episode.

So after Brooklynn "parts ways" with Soyona, she has to reunite with Camp Fam, and we know that it won't be easy. I think that some of the campers will warm up to her sooner (probably Ben for obvious reasons, Sammy and Darius), others later (Kenji will probably be the last one). I suspect that it may require some sort of "grand gesture" on Brooklynn's side. At first, I thought that maybe I'd be egg-related but I honestly doubt it? I think that she will meet Bumpy's baby post-hatching but that's a shoot in the dark tbh.

My personal theory is that Sammy's parents got somehow involved with Biosyn and Sammy didn't like that and that's what caused their parting. Since Sammy's family owns a ranch, they know a lot about, well, farming and what is the locust attacking? Ranches. So I assume that Biosyn has some sort of "informants". Maybe Sammy instantly figured out that something about Biosyn is off? Who knows. Either way, we need to learn what exactly is the reason behind the crisis within Gutierrez family and resolve it. And the way Sammy phrased that and kind of tip-toes around the topic, I think it will be somehow related to the plot + resolving it is going to take some time.

Then, I think it's safe to assume that eventually, we will end up in Malta since this is also where the events of JW Dominion take place. Remember how jwcc season 3 ended? We got an extra perspective on the events in JW movie - a perspective of campers. I think that with jwct, the showrunners may do a very similar thing (let's remember that JW is a franchise therefore, at least in theory, everything is somehow connected; such perspective would make a nice bridge between the series and the movies).

Now, this is where my own theory kicks in for real. If we look at jwcc and jwct in general, Soyona shapes to be the only villain that the Camp Fam won't ultimately defeat. Or... will they? Both Tiff and Mitch, Kash and even Daniel end up "losing" because of the Camp Fam (either directly or indirectly). Now, I haven't watched Dominion in a while but if I remember correctly the last scene with Soyona shows her as she's about to be arrested. This got me thinking... what if she somehow manages to escape? As far as we know, Soyona seems like the kind of person who always has a backup plan. Remember that she also has connections within DPW (now disbanded ofc) - she knows a lot of people, and a lot of people work for her. All of this is a theory but I wouldn't be surprised if, before the events of Dominion, she didn't have some sort of backup plan; for example Jensen from DPW who's ready to "react if things go south". So Soyona attempts to escape, and she escapes to the States (remember that eventually, the Camp Fam has to get there somehow lol). Who chases after her? The campers obviously because now it's more than just dinosaurs, now it's personal too – fueled by Brooklynn's hatred for Soyona, fueled by the need to see her "locked up" for good. I wouldn't be surprised if the creators of the show decided that it would be more fitting if Soyona was "captured" and brought to justice by the Camp Fam seeing as, ultimately, she plays "bigger villain" in jwct than in Dominion. So depending if the creators decide to do something like that or not - that could potentially be what season 4 would focus on - the final and ultimate defeat of Soyona Santos.

However. If they decide to end Santos plotline at where it ends in Dominion, there's still plenty to explore in a potential season 4. I wouldn't be surprised if Camp Fam ended up in the Biosyn's center again - for example, to recover the rest of eggs/make sure that they are safe, or (knowing Darius) to ensure that the dinosaurs will be safe there. [Ben's gf enters the chat] I strongly suspect that Ben's girlfriend (if she's real) has some sort of connection with Biosyn (the chance of these two meeting through Dark Jurassic is pretty high after all), depending on who she is, there could be a whole new plotline related to the character - making her "someone more" than just a person whose role boils down to being a mysterious girlfriend. If she works for Biosyn (spies?), I wouldn't be surprised if there was some extra secret hidden by this company. It's like... call me crazy, but I think that a huge company like that has a lot of connections. I wouldn't be surprised if it somehow led us back to (thankfully, now deceased) Daniel Kon - after all we know that he was secretly planning to rebuild his company, and still had a lot of money. So this is where I see a potential for another season of mysteries and events. (I also have a tiny theory on the side that Ben's "girlfriend" is actually, a guy aka Ramsay Cole - a head of communications in Biosyn; it would make sense for him to be on Dark Jurassic, knowing this character's plotline in Dominion; his age is not revealed but my guess is that he is around 25 years old. Also, one of the producers of jwct mentioned in an interview that he'd love to bring more characters from Dominion to jwct so... there you go. Idk just a theory, but it lines up. Especially with Ben being half-firm, half-awkward when talking about his partner yk).

I think there are honestly so many ways this show can be developed and... for good reasons too. Not just good reasons plot-wise but also because, well, let's be real jwcc/jwct is extremely popular. And the creators are aware of it. It's safe to assume that initially the show (jwcc) was supposed to be three seasons long but, due to its popularity, they added 2 more seasons and then decided to make a whole spin-off series. And the spin-off too is very popular and generally praised not only by the target audience (kids) but also but "older" jurassic fans. Seeing as Jurassic is a franchise, therefore, something that is supposed to "keep going" (fuel itself), jwcc and jwct are a perfect way to also introduce younger generations to the entire world of jurassic, literally "raising" them to be fans of the series, and a great way to keep other fans entertained as they wait for the next installments of the movie series (after all, a brand new JW trilogy is in plans).

So yeah. I've been meaning to make a post about it for a while but I wanted to make it as detailed and as "canon-aligned" as possible so it took me a while. Honestly, in the end, this is mostly just the hopes and dreams of a devoted jwcc fan who has been suffering from camp fam-brainrot for the past 4 years!

If you read it that far - it's time to touch some grass. I recently started growing my own in a flowerpot and... well, it doesn't really help but it's the thought that matters! if you have any thoughts about the upcoming installment(s?) of jwct - I'd love to hear them. And remember to be nice, we are all just fans after all :D

[aestheticreservoire]

Not the person you are addressing but I feel like theres more to be said I don’t see in the replies to the post and that I think adds context to fan fiction and fandom in general especially after reading other women talk about the generalisation stuff in the OP

- a lot of women start reading fic as teenagers and a lot of current fic readers and writers are per se autistic and obsessed with whatever media they’re writing about ergo why they make stories about it obsessively. This is not a new phenomenon, women wrote Sherlock and Watson fan fiction back then with the books and the first mainstream fandom as we understand it today was Star Trek: the original series in the 70s. At that point it was in fact a sort of revolutionary separatist space as a lot of the people writing, and publishing, fanzines were female. Fanfic continues to be female skewed in fact. Males were also Star Trek fans it’s the derivative writing space that was and continues to be overwhelmingly female.

You probably dont care but if you want data points I started at age 13.

- I personally haven’t disengaged entirely but I know a lot of people do (and I took distance) because of the current heavy control exerted community wise due to the increasing politicisation of fandom after the 2000s onward. This is nothing new, again, a lot of the fujos who shipped Kirk and Spock in the 70s legit used that as leverage to support gay rights, it’s just that by virtue of members being younger and more immature and the insanity that was cultivated since livejournal, into here, and onward to twitter and TikTok fandom has become like a pug inbred version of itself.

- because the girls writing this are straight. It’s the same mindset of fujoshi writing doujinshi in Japan. Two attractive men kissing and thinking about romance without all the implications of being a woman and your lesser place in society because of it. And of course a lot of the media they obsess with glorifying and exhalting men while making mediocre or irrelevant female characters. Female essayists were actually writing about this in the Star Trek days too.

-No, not really. As I said a lot of women into this are already autistic or otherwise “weird” personality wise and that usually carries its own batch of associated mental illness, some thru nature some thru nurture (bullying, exclusion causing depression and anxiety) there’s actually an analysis of how this impacts geeks in general, socially, called the Geek Social Fallacies and you will see them repeat in ambiances like liberal feminism and activist teenagers on tiktok: https://plausiblydeniable.com/five-geek-social-fallacies/ which boils down to, I was excluded and left behind, ergo I vow when I meet other nerds I will never leave anyone behind because everyone who leaves me behind are evil bullies who hate me just because I like media.

This is also why I believe so many fandom spaces are social justice oriented. They too see minorities being excluded that they have to defend no matter the cost which is why analysis is so black and white, un-nuanced, and generally ignorant of whatever minority is being defended. Which I've personally experienced being latin american in the anglo fandom internet. In the end, I think I agree with a lot of other people that women are criticised a lot more for these fandom things than men are for things that are far more harmful, especially considering the history of these places as women-led hobbies that permitted a space separate from men. However I also agree it is a hobby and a lot of it is self-indulgent slop, and you should go in with that mindset. The cult mentality of hyper political fandom is also incredibly diseased and wreaks havoc on your already fragile mental state. Like any subculture it can be a wonderful thing for you to connect with people or controlling torture depending on how you engage with it. But as an autist I can't deny the catharsis of being able to do what is essentially glorified playing with fictional dolls without scorn, as that is something that you are judged for, very often unfairly- like most women's hobbies, to be honest.

I don't hate fan fiction because it's not original material or whatever. I hate fan fiction because it seems like everyone who is into it has serious mental health issues.

And I realize that it's a chicken/egg situation so there's no way to tell if being immersed in it tanks your wellbeing or if you get into it at your lowest point. What I do see is that it doesn't make you any better and definitely makes things way worse.