#i dont even have all of them on here bc there's SO MANY to sort through
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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somehow these current roommates we have are the worst that ive known yet and last semester we literally had a girl who smoked cigs IN her bedroom. list of grievances below lol
#first of all they turn all the lights on all the time. the other day i was hanging out in the living room w one light on bc it was light#enough outside thru the windows and one of them walked in and flipped another light on automatically. then walked through#the living room right to her bedroom... girl youre not even using this room and i was clearly fine with the light level??#they always have all 3 kitchen lights on when they cook and dont turn them off plus none of them have lamps#they all use the Big LED Ceiling Light in their bedrooms which is baffling to us#they dont know how to organize the kitchen and they took up so many of the cabinets with bullshit. like 3 pans here a few plates there#we have like 4 cabinets worth of food and even more of pots and pans and shit bc this is everything we own#and we cant afford to use disposable everything like some of them do#theyre always leaving the fridge open while they cook too and i have to physically hold myself back from becoming my mom#and yelling at them to close the fridge when theyre not actively getting smth out of it!! like theyll stand there cooking and have it open#for 2 minutes straight#theres only room for one water filter pitcher in the fridge and one of them brought a big one which is nice but theyre always forgetting to#refill it which defeats the purpose of even having it#and they always somehow start cooking right when we decide we need to eat#one of them sent this long sort of condescending post abt ants and how it stresses him out when the kitchen is messy so we all need to clean#more and try harder to keep ants away as if 1) ants care at all abt dishes in the sink or stains on the stove and 2) as if the ants will#stop coming around if theres no food out in this building where there are notoriously always ants even on the 4th floor#(we are ground floor this time) and 3) as if he isn't one of the people leaving food around and not taking the trash out#nobody responded to it in the groupchat lmao bc he sounds like a fucking cop!! and is dating an rotc guy??? and also is a streamer or just#likes to play games on vc with friends bc hes always very loudly doing that#but obviously we have sex all the time so we're at a sort of loud noise stalemate where neither of us can complain abt the other#to be clear this is in no way the absolute worst situation theyre nice enough people and havent reported us for anything (they both work for#student housing -_-) and generally things go okay in the apartment#but like. ive never been this annoyed this often with any other roommates#ALSO someone spilled soy sauce all over our designated level of the fridge door where we had all our little bottles of stuff#but also a carton a Paper Carton of milk and a pack of butter standing upright which soaked up the soy sauce and for several days#even after id cleaned the bottom of the carton the best i could i swore it tasted like soy sauce from it soaking into the bottom or smth#but it's still all over everything in there bc it was so much it like. pooled in there and splattered on everything#like. u see that happen u clean it up wtf.??#anyway i just felt like i needed to complain and see if im being silly or if these things really are so annoying
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hanging out with group of people you only vaguely know is like so so important. like even if you never hang out with them again. take time to just like put yourself in situations. just get in a situation. tag along. you know. you learn sooooooooooooooooooooooo much. its fun
#this is not based on recent events this is several from like last year im thinking of cause its 4am or w/e#literally just hang out. you ever been in a situation where youre with people you like are only kinda sorta friends with and theyre like#oh were going to tha store. we're going to this specific little food place inexplicably 45 min walk away that seems trendy in a shitty way#to get something youve never heard someone talk about in real life before. do you want to come with bc youre standing next to us#do it bro. walk that 45. even if its so mid. its so beaiutiful#and youll have conversation with them different from the usual conversation dynamics youre used to and its like ohhh its cool#and then you say goodbye and dont see them again really. literally fucking. epic. peak high school#someobnts like im setting up a fucking. fire pit ! outside my house#be here at 10pm or something ridiculous. hell yeah bro. nobody else was eating the cheese puffs. it was the good kind the white cheddar#I had so many it was so fun. we talked about strange music remixes#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. wish id done more of that sort of thing. now im in art school and we just hang out all the time though and thats fun too#''hang out all the time'' aside from the grindset. woooooooo I need to time management better I keep trying and failing to fix m sleep#schedule#fuck. anyways eventually ill ask student help about getting a referral for an adhd diagnosis. I just kept putting it off#(comical self fufilling prophecy)
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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been wringing my hands about the concept of family therapy. scary stuff. like maybe it could help and we sure as hell need SOMETHING to change but i think it would be like taking a potato peeler to the soles of my feet
#look it probably works for a lot of ppl but every time i think about it as a solution for my Definitely Needs It family it's like. god no#it probably only works when everyone's willing to change and actually listen to each other#if i did it with my folks im worries they'd quit if they were challenged or talk shit about the therapist/methods afterwards#like im so worried the therapist would take their side and we'd be stuck giving in to them#only now with assurance from an expert that they're always right and we're wrong and ungrateful. not helpful!! negative progress#and if we tried to switch therapists my parents would be like oh you just can't accept responsibility 🙄🙄#you just wanted someone to tell you you didn't have to try or to coddle you or make us do what you want or whatever#aghhh it's so scary and it's not even on the table. no one wants this but i also think trying to mediate it myself would suck so fuckin bad#aughh. sorry i wanna write about it as like. a tags rant. here goes#my parents don't apologize for shit. ive legit seen it happen once. they justify and backpedal but they never acknowledge their bs#they treat the harm that comes from their methods with a sort of 'well what do you expect me to do about it?! (rhetorical)' vibe#like there is no way to improve. like the ability for parents to fail and be flawed means those things must be accepted uncritically#because they're trying and they have good intentions. but if they really wanted to help as they claim they would be willing to change#if you're trying to help someone and they tell you your actions didn't help or are hurting them you should change your methods so theyre#helped. but they operate on this assumption that their methods should always work and thud if they don't that we're too sensitive#'youre asking for too much' was kind of a major theme in my childhood is what im realizing#instead they justify and focus on intent or their kids' flaws (real or imagined). they want to change the reaction rather than the action#they dont want to help they just want the problem to go away. and quiet kids look like happy kids i guess#thing is i cant even cite that many manipulative things theyve said bc we all go quiet as soon as they use a disapproving tone#like they'll just be like 'skrunks >:/.' and that's it. i cant say anything. i know i wont be listened to and they fucking do it on purpose#theyre kinda shit at defending themselves but i can barely follow their lines of reasoning so it's so fucking hard to argue with them#it's also so unnurturing. why is us being unhappy or uncomfortable smth to blame on our failure n not smth you want to help with? wth#yk the thing about the Shut Down Tone is i recognize and resent it sometimes but it still makes me feel like im not giving them a fair shot#bc i dont even slightly challenge them much (& they dont have to say what they mean for us to cower) i feel like im misreading their tone#that im being too sensitive and thinking theyre being controlling for no reason. like im reading into it too hard and hating them when if i#pushed back they'd freely be good to me and change and be reasonable. but now it's becoming clearer that that's not the case bc they Do Not#and if i mention The Tone theyll just say im overreacting and that it's my fault for not sticking up for myself AGAIN!!!!!!#and it's so frustrating knowing what's going on and still having these doubts. i can't trust my gut or what i hear bc they might be right#they'll straight up lie or change their arguments or their story to get me to submit. am i being gaslit??? wtf#but i trust my (treated worse) brothers' accounts which helps. my parents brag about their parenting skills to us btw ✌️✌️
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𝐅𝐈𝐗 𝐌𝐄
DAY 2: SUB SPACE + MOMMY KINK
With: Satoru Gojo
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: Sub! Gojo, Fem? reader (no pronouns just use of names: mommy and mama), unreleastic portrayal of sub space, mentions of BDSM (rough treatment, degradation,whips, mistress/master use), safeword use (at the end), lots of cooing, Gojo unable to think properly, praise, comfort, clingy/needy Gojo
A/N: this was actually really fun to write! i did a little research on what subspace feels like, and it says it varies from person to person, but it is a sort of euphoric experience. sooo idk! lol. also, a lot of ppl r here for gojos personality, and I feel bad bc he is not like his usual self in this bc of his headspace...dont hate me gojo simps
Gojo Satoru is kinky. Plain and simple. He has tried many different things throughout his lifetime, and he is now confident enough in many different types of sexual play. He spends way too much time on the internet buying all sorts of toys, cuffs, ropes, whips, just to build his secret obsession. He has been with many people, and has always pulled them down to the dark side with him.
But through it all, he has never found a partner to really push him to his limits. They all get too scared to hurt him, and call their safeword too early. They get uncomfortable when he sobs for mercy, or in other situations, begs for more pain. Gojo doesn't want to be just treated harshly, he wants to be broken.��His standards are higher than most.
And finally his dreams came true when he met you. You've been into BDSM for years now, and even if the two of you are dating, you have a strict contract of rules you must obey for eachothers safety. It was cute, he was practically trembling in excitement when he saw the agreement, signing his hame sloppily, and waiting for your next move.
It was strange seeing someone so cheery and upbeat turn into a different breed during a scene. He was long passed the brat now, every defining thought fucked out of him. He's been slapped around, beaten, scolded, forced to orgasm, and humiliated in the past two hours. He has never had anyone treat him this rough.
A huge part of him loved it, and a small part of him twinged in fear whenever he heard you begin to move again. It sent a multitude of thoughts to his brain, What now? Are you going to hurt him? Was he being good now? Another punishment?
His blue eyes follow your every movement, and he flinches when you bring your hand up to his face, expecting another slap. You chuckle at the movement, gently petting his face. It takes him a second to realize what is happening, but from there, he melts into your hold. He presses himself deeper into your hand, eyes heavy from exhaustion.
Satoru accomplished his goal though. He was, for the first time ever, wrecked. His hair is matted against his head, damp from sweat. His body is covered in hickeys, bitemarks, bruises, scratches, and marks from the flogger. He was trembling, muscles contracting every couple of seconds without permission. Drools coats his lips, and it starts to drip down his mouth and onto his chin. His eyes seem to be in a different world, cloudy, and half lidded. His cock lays spent against his thigh, flushed red, and leaking just the last of his cum.
But even through it all, he's smiling at you. It’s a fucked out sort of grin, lazy, but content. His cheek is pressed against your palm, and he's nuzzling into it, basking in the softness of your touch, contrasting your earlier actions. “There ya go. You doing all right, Satoru?”
He blinks at you, slow, and thoughtless. “Yeah.”
You climb onto the bed next to him, brushing his hair back affectionately, and a little worriedly. He looked rather beat, and his exhausted eyes made you want to end the session now. “Alright, lets clean you up, and get you to bed,” You soothe, hands rubbing at his thighs, hoping your touch brings him comfort.
Immediately he pulls away, a small pout on his face. “Noooooo,” He uncharacteristically whines, grabbing at your hand. “Wanna…Wanna go some more. I'm doing good, right Mommy? No more punishments,” He pleads, tears coating his eyes. “Reward. Wanna reward, pleaseeee.”
Mommy wasn't todays title. You were called mistress, and master today solely. His words made your eyes widen, and you instantaneously knew he was deep into the subspace. You've seen glimpses of it, the way he becomes uncharacteristically obedient and he gets slightly giggly, probably from the light headed feeling, but he looked deep into his now. His words dragged out, and his body was obviously spent, but still he craved your approval; he wanted nothing more than to please you now.
Affection, love and care is what he needs right now and you were happy to provide him with it. So, you straddle his lap, and place kisses on every surface you can touch. His body is warm, and he goes slack against your hold, mouth falling open. “Do you want to cum again, ‘toru? Or just attention?”
He goes silent for awhile, his mind hazy, and not liking the idea of making his own choice. He wanted you to take care of him completely, to let his mind slip away, and for you to control his ever thought, movement. “Please,” He mumbles, face scrunching up with frustration.
You are quick to apologize, recognizing his situation almost instantly. “Alright, alright. I'll take care of you. Lets cum one more time, can you do that for me, pretty boy?”
Pretty boy. A nickname unlike the harsh ones he received earlier: brat, slut, dog, whore. In the moment it only increased to turn him on, but now, he wanted to be good. The thought of you calling him those names made him want to tear up, and sob into your arms. He didn't want you to be mean anymore, he wants you to love him. To praise him on anything and everything.
He jumps when he feels your hand drift back to his cock. It aches from all the abuse from earlier, and he lets out a shaky whimper, not liking the pain as much as he once did. “H-Hurts,” He yelps, wishing for you to make it better. To fix it all, why did everything ache so badly? He wants comfort, and as quickly as possible.
You kiss at his tears and pull his face into your neck. “‘m sorry. Was Mommy too rough with you today? Shhh, it’ll feel better in a bit, just relax,” You encourage, beginning to slide your hand up and down his length. He twitches and mewls from beneath you, fighting the feeling of overstimulation and pleasure. He wants this, he wants this, he wants this so badly, but he wishes it wasn't so uncomfortable.
He shakes his head into your neck, “Wasn't too rough. I'm fine, Mama j-just make me feel better, please,” he whispers, voice hoarse, and soft. One of your hands pet his hair, while the other strokes him off, shushing his cries, and reassuring that he will feel better soon.
You were right of course, the pain of overstimulation died off, and Gojo felt like he was melting. Everything is so warm, so light, he feels like he was on cloud nine. He feels loved, and every loose thought was traced back to you. “Love you s-so much.”
You grin at him, pressing your lips to his. His lips are chapped from his excessive panting, but you don't mind, licking at the plush flesh. He whimpers and groans, his hands pawing at you to pull you impossibly closer. When you pull back, he follows you, letting out a small huff in complaint. You pepper his face with kisses in apology. “Love you too. Such a good boy, Satoru, I'm so lucky to have such a pretty boy.”
He withers under the praise, nodding his head dumbly. He wants to coax so more out of you, but he can't think of ways, so he just rest his head on your chest, and chants, “Mommy” on repeat.
Your hand is slow in pace, careful to not overwhelm him. It slides up and down easily, his previous cum acting as lube. His cock is bright red, and you almost feel bad for it after pulling so many orgasms from it earlier. You are suprised he is still even awake, sure, he looks and acts exhausted, but by this long he is usually passed out. He must be awake only because he is searching for praise and comfort from earlier. To not find himself in a sub drop.
You catch his eye, and a wobbly smile pulls at his face. You chuckle at him, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Whaddya want from me?” He asks, voice cracking in the middle of the sentence.
“Hmm?”
He taps his forehead against yours, hazy blue eyes staring into yours. “Wanna command. Wanna be useful for you.”
You smile warmly at him and he shivers, leaning up to kiss you again. You hand rubs over his small slit, and he gasps, pausing just centimeteres before you face, and moaning out.
“You are deep in this, aren't you sweet boy?” You murmur, mostly to your self, slightly astonished. It was one thing for him to ask for praise, and to make decisions for him, but actively seeking instructions from you was another. It was fascinating, and adorable to say the least, how desperately he craved approval, or wanted to feel needed, useful. Nothing how Gojo usually was like.
You thumb at his tip, and he heaves, trying to keep up with your words. But everything you say other than “sweet boy,” seems to tuned out. Everything feels blurry, expect for you face, and your sickenly sweet tone. “D-Don't understand. Please!”
“Okay, shhh, it's alright. I want you to cum for me. Can you cum for Mommy, Satoru? That's all I want you to do.” An easy command, one he can definitely fulfill. He can do that – he can definitely cum for you. Gojo feels his chest bloom with butterflies at the idea of what you'll say to him once he follows your wishes. How much praise he will receive. How good and useful he is being. It makes him shiver with excitement.
Your hand picks up speed when he nods, and he gasps, gripping onto your arms from the suddenness. His hips buck upward into the makeshift hole, and you coo at him, telling him to relax his hips. He abides without question, melting into the sheets, and you give him a kiss for a reward.
He feels himself begin to teeter along his high, and he glances up at you, eyes wide and slightly panicked. He needs to ask for approval, he has to ask to cum, the rules were basically engrained in him, but everything is spinning, and he's beginning to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the pressure. He feels his voice go dry, and tears begin to pool in his eyes at the prospect of disappointing you.
You take notice of his fearful face immediately, quickly leaning over to cup his face. “You can cum. Relax, hey, its alright, I want you to cum.”
He breathes a shaky sign of relief, and you wipe his tears away, thinking back to earlier of how you wiped his tears away from the ruthless pleasure/pain mix, and now simply because he was afraid that he wasn't able to ask permission before cumming. You would be lying if the power didnt get to your head.
You thoughts are cut off when Gojos entire body jerks, and a muffled, “Fuck!” is let out. His orgasm hits him like a truck, and he trembles, riding the waves. His voice is too scratchy to let out any real noise, so he just silently cries into your chest. Cum dribbles down his cock pathetically, obviously spent, and not having much left to give. You don't seem to notice it though, instead focusing on your lover, and trying to make his orgasm as pleasurable as possible.
When he comes down from it, his legs are shaking, and his eyes are hooded with exhaustion. “P-Plea–Coconut,” He weakly gets out, and you hands fly off his body in seconds from hearing the safety word. You pull away, hoping to not overwhelm him, but instead he clings to you. “Don’t go. Don’t go. Mommy, I can't. J-Just–I…Praise!” He splutters, coherent thoughts flying out of his head, as he slumps into the bed.
You nod, staying away from his cock, and instead placing his head into your lap. His body curls around you in seconds, still slightly trembling. “Did so well. Good boy Satoru. My good boy, I am so spoiled. So lucky to have you." You coo, reaching your hand up to run it through his matted hair. "Took everything so well. I'm so proud of you." A small smile pulls at his face, and everything feels so warm "I love you so much, you know that?”
“Hm,” He hums, nodding his head slightly.
You smile at him. “My perfect boy. It's time to go to sleep, I'll take care of everything. Just rest for me, that's all I need you to do.”
But he didn't even hear the last of your statements, already passed out onto you, his chest rising and falling from his heavy breathes.
You sigh, and stare affectionately at the man. His naked body littered in marks, and he still managed to sleep contently with them. His body was drained of everything. Just like he asked you to do so hours prior.
Your hands roam the nightstand, grabbing healing cream, bandages, and a wash cloth. And with one last sigh, you place Gojo's head onto the pillow, and begin the long process of cleaning him up.
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#mello.writes#Barkforme!#Kinktober 2023#dom! reader#dom reader#x reader#reader insert#sub gojo#sub gojo smut#sub gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#satoru smut#gojo x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut#sub! jjk
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aftermath
ERMMM this takes place after long winter au third semester.... it could honestly vary but i think sometime btwn 5-10 yrs. sumire is abroad, akira moved back to tokyo after finishing hs/college, goro is. around
SORRY ITS 5am again so ill make this quick . again
QUICK DISCLAIMER this is kinda like a lot of me projecting LMFAOSDOGKJSDHFK@#)40 so like dont read into this tooooo much bc idk royaltrio cld be insnanely ooc here but. YEA.
started thinking abt akira constantly calling up goro and sumire even after 1) goro dies (so they think) and 2) sumire distances herself post-third sem. i elaborate on this on my shusumi fic........ sorry subtle shilling
^ tldr i think these 3 kinda drift apart after the snowglobe world crumbles, that false reality that ironically brought them so close together..... back in reality, things feel Different (but this is Our reality right? why does it feel so strange now?) and so. well its just not the same, no amtter what
the. the “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there” tumblr post
even though they loved each other and knew it too, there was also some sort of looming feeling that it won't last - but it does, still. it exists, in some meaningful sense-
akira sees and thinks about sumire and goro in everything he does, his day to day life, worries about them, wants to tell them about all he's doing, wants to hear about what they're up to. so he does so by leaving voicemails (although in this case sumire changed her number LMFAO. he does it anyway)
in the same vein, sumire thinks about all the things she'd like to tell goro, but with no address to send it to, it's useless. but she writes them anyway - more and more as a solace to herself, conversing with the memory of goro in her head, making him live on in that sense. and with akira i think it's a little more subtle. here she's trying to find a coffee shop that measures up to lebalnc, and of course she doesn't. there's only one leblanc and only one akira. but yeah like in sumire's case she kinda goes these "roundabout" ways in her Missing Them. theres also the added thing of her wanting to be more independent (from goro and akira and kasumi and tokyo and etc etc etc. also elaborated on in said fic)
goro! i think there's smth so poignant about visiting your own grave (i wrote sumire doing htis in another fic. thats an aside) hair cut, mask on, no gloves, he's a different sort of goro akechi but not really in any meaningful sense either. he's just different. sumire leaves the scarf (i think w sumire, she learns from goro like. omg im blanking on the word. LIKE reliability..? thinking realistically? smth like that.) so shes subconsciously thinks oh ill get him something useful like a scarf to keep warm (and a lil more subtle on the love aspect). akira gets him a lovely bouquet, straightforward and honest w his love/adoration, never afraid to spell it out. smth abt goro needing to live a new life now but also he keeps looking back - but this time, there's love when he looks back. there's still love
a kind of "youll always have home with me" sentiment btwn these 3. even if we never return there, youll still have a place in my heart
like "i dont think ill ever have that kind of love again. but i had it once. and even if i couldnt keep it, its still important." THIS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN
anyway tldr theres just some sentiment w royaltrio w Wanting to move on but also holding onto your past, and learning how to reconcile with the horrible parts but also the tender and lovely parts. sometimes there's stuff you gotta leave behind and grow past, grow around, even if it's good. even if it's good, you still have to push forward. <- a lesson that i'm trying to teach myself currently so thats why this is very. projecting. LMFAODSJKHJKSDKW sorry im crnge goodnight
these notes are horrible dont read these.
#goro akechi#sumire yoshizawa#akira kurusu#persona 5 royal#royal trio#shuakesumi#cele draws#long winter#cele comics
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happy new year lovie!!!! i feel bad for requesting this bc just thinking ab the volume of ur inbox is a little overwhelming and ive gone a bit overboard 😭
but..... bodyguard!james finds out his mum is quite sick right before his shift one day and leaves to take care of her after letting reader know. he has to take the week off and reader is visiting and bringing them their favorite homecooked meals everyday (which she has memorised bc, bless him, james loves to talk abt his mum) and james is LOVEEESTRUCK. she's there, bright and early every morning (with a different bodyguard bc god forbid she leaves the house with no protection right in front of james' own two eyes!!!) with muffins and flowers and bags of food in hand :( james is enamored and so sweet on her!!!!! and reader is obsessing over how vulnerable and emotionally in tune james is at a time like this!!!!! i'm thinking maybe confessions are getting pretty hard to hold back by the end of the week ☹️🩷
thank you! (if you do decide to write this or if you dont for letting me ramble on in your asks x)
Don't feel bad my love! Thank you for requesting :)
cw: sick family member
bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words
No matter how many times James has visited home throughout his adult life, he always manages to discover something he’s forgotten about living there. Like how particular his mum is about the way the dish towel is folded, or which drawer the scissors are kept in, or the ungodly amount of door-to-door salesmen that come by on a daily basis.
Lately, he’s being plagued by the last. He recalls them being vaguely annoying when he was younger, but James’ family is currently going through a difficult time that leaves one with somewhat frayed nerves. He very nearly snapped at a particularly tenacious primary school student selling chocolate yesterday. Not one of his finer moments.
So when the doorbell rings while his mum is trying to sleep down the hall, James has to make an effort to reel his wrath back in before he’s even answered it.
Funnily enough, any negative emotion completely evaporates when he sees you on the front steps.
“Hi,” you say, looking apprehensive.
“Hi,” James echoes. He opens the door the rest of the way, nodding to the fill-in guard you’ve brought with you. “Hey, Singh.”
Singh nods in return.
“I hope it’s alright that I just came by.” You give him a sheepish sort of smile. “I didn’t even realize I don’t have your phone number until now. You’re always just…there.”
James laughs, the mood that’s descended over him since getting the call about his mum lifting slightly. “Yeah, I suppose I am. What brings you out, sweetheart?”
You hoist the bags you’re carrying a bit higher in your arms. “I brought some stuff for you and your mom, if that’s okay.”
A tiny hand fists around his heart, squeezing pleasantly. “Course it is,” he all but coos. “Come on in. Singh, you alright to stay here and keep watch?”
Luckily, the other man doesn’t think to remember that James is currently on leave, and so defers to him with a curt nod. James shoots him a smile as you come inside, closing the door behind you.
“They put Singh on day shift?” he asks, taking one of the bags from you and leading you into the kitchen. “He’s barely finished training.”
“He seems fine,” you say in your good-natured way.
“He took you to a location that’s never been reconned without even bringing another guard to post outside.”
“It’s your mom’s house, Jamie.” The smile is evident in your voice, sweeter even than the smell wafting out of these bags. God, he’s missed you. “I doubt he suspects either of you are going to try and hurt me.”
“He should be prepared for the possibility,” James says, but he can’t manage to work any menace into his tone even to tease you. You tilt your head at him, mouth curving up to one side like you’re well acquainted with his particular brand of silliness, and he lets his grievances go instantly. “You didn’t have to bring us anything, angel face.”
You flush a bit at the endearment, directing a soft smile down at his family’s old wooden table (which is great, because now James is in the position of being jealous of a table). “I wanted to do something,” you reply simply. “How’s your mom?”
“She’s alright.” Not great. Not worse, which is always good. If the only thing he accomplishes in a day is that she doesn’t get worse, James can feel good about that. “She’s sleeping in this morning.”
“Oh, shit.” Your voice drops to a hush like the breeze blowing through leaves. “I haven’t woken her, have I?”
James grins. “No, you’re good. She can sleep through anything.”
You lose a breath. “Right, well I brought some meals to last you a few days,” you say, digging some containers out of the bag. “It can all be heated up whenever you’re ready to eat, and—oh, also some flowers. I know it’s stupid, but I thought they might brighten things up for you two.” James doesn’t think it’s stupid at all, but you go on before he can tell you so. “Can I put these in your freezer? I brought some muffins for this morning too, if you want them.”
“Yeah,” James says, the word leaving him on a breath. “I mean, yeah to both. Thank you.” He grabs several of the containers as well, showing you to the freezer. You both start cramming them in between things, wherever they’ll fit. He takes note of the food as it goes in, a heady warmth growing in his chest. “Did you make all of this?”
You hum in brisk affirmation. “I had plenty of time on my hands yesterday. Turns out things are pretty boring without you around.”
“How’d you know what to make? This is all—these are our favorites.”
You turn to him, a tenderhearted sort of smile curving your lips. “You talk about your mom a lot, Jamie,” you say. “I know all her favorites by now. And the things she’d make that were your favorites, too.”
James hadn’t realized he’d spent so much time rambling about his mum. It hurts his chest a bit to think of it now, worse to think that you’d been listening so intently.
“This is only really enough to get you through a few days,” you go on, oblivious to his yearning, “but I figured I’d come back with more if you’re both alright with it.” You look at him as you pack the last of the food away, your gaze careful. “I don’t want to intrude or anything.”
“You could never intrude.” James isn’t sure how he gets the words out, his heart ballooning until it’s nearly cutting off his airflow. The cool air breezing onto one side of his face stops, and he realizes you’ve shut the freezer. “This is just…so, so kind of you. I don’t know what to say.”
“James.” Your voice is soft. Your smile has faded, and now you look at him with an unabashed, steady kindness. “You don’t have to say anything. I can’t stand the thought of you and your mom going through this. I wanted to help, somehow.” One of your shoulders comes up in a sheepish half-shrug. “Even if it’s really small.”
He wraps his arms around your shoulders, and you hesitate only a second before bringing your arms around him too. You squeeze him tight. James lets himself relish the feel of it, lovelorn. “It’s not small,” he says fervently. “It really…it means a lot, sweetheart.”
You only squeeze tighter in response. When he lets you go, your gaze is sad. Worried. You ask without prelude, “Are you doing okay?”
James gives you a half-smile. The truth of it. “Yeah, we’re alright over here. It’s hard to see her like this, but I think everything’s going to be okay.” You nod, solemn in your understanding. “Sounds like I might be doing better than you, actually, if your company’s bad enough that you’re entertaining yourself in the kitchen all day.”
You crack a smile at that, and James’ heart lightens. “Yeah, Singh’s no you. He doesn’t seem to like to chat.”
“Ahh, so that’s why you’ve really come out here, yeah? You just missed me.”
“You’ve caught me.”
It’s said like a joke, but James’ pride inflates foolishly nonetheless. “I hate that I can’t be there,” he says. “Especially now that I know they’ve put Singh on my shift.”
“He’s not so bad,” you laugh, heading towards the table. You fold up the bags. “Anyway, it’s more important that you’re here. And I’ll be back in a couple days to restock you.”
James fixes you with a look as you start for the door. “You really don’t have to.”
“I’m going to,” you say breezily. “Don’t forget to put the flowers in water, and the muffins are strawberry chocolate chip.” He grins. His mum’s favorite. “I’ll tell Singh you were raving about him.”
“Oh, please do.” He rolls his eyes, feeling lighter than he has in days. “Thanks, angel.”
You shoot him a smile worthy of the moniker as you go out the door. “See you in a couple days, Jamie.”
#james potter#bodyguard!james potter#bodyguard!james potter x reader#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter au#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter angst#james potter hurt/comfort#james potter imagine#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter scenario#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#marauders#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#marauders x reader#hp marauders
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BOOK OF BILL WEBSITE CHANGE
this contains MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WEBSITE CHANGE. if you want to find shit urself, dont read this!!!
also this is part one of probably many bc i cant fit everything in here. curse you image limit
i wont be going over alot of the not as important stuff, but still go explore the website for it because i got alot of good laughs!
RIGHT OFF THE BAT. In the top right corner of the screen when the lightning flashes, there are words revealed carved in the wall. it reads: VALLIS CINERIS. when this is typed into the computer it gives this video:
haunting. really giving me analog horror vibes. wasnt sure what else to do with this though.
I also noticed that on the candle in the right side of the desk, there is a code
this is decoded used the rune code, and translates into CURSED. when put into the computer, this is what is given back:
interesting.
One of the first things me and my friends did was go through the main characters names. the most interesting one of these for me is definitely Stanley, but i want to go over Pacifica first because Stanleys is LONG.
When you type in Pacifica you get this:
I love her signature btw. BUT if you type in Platinum Paz, you get somethin very, very interesting.
This may not be in the right order so forgive me, but at the end of that code, if you use a shift decoder (im so smart sue me)
it says: "STAY AWAY FROM HER CIPHER. SHE HAS THE PROTECTION OF THE LUMBERFOLKS SPIRITS"
pacificas character development has always been special to me, and this was honestly chilling. in the book of bill we see that she has nightmares about the lumberjack, and this shows how much guilt she carries. her finally finding her peace with what happened made me smile :)
but as nice and heartwarming as this is, were moving on to STANLEY PINES! and oh BOY are the stanley lovers having a field day. so first of all, if you type in Stanley, it will take you to a few different links. including gold chains, brass knuckles, an 8 ball cane, a fez, and a colonel neck tie. funny right? if you keep entering his name, this pops up:
Below this is a bunch of things with the label of being shameful. one of them is very interesting but im gonna put some lighter stuff first for the sillies.
i need alex to show us the photos from the hunky drifters catalogue alex can you hear me please i mean WHO SAID THATTTT WHO SAID THATTTTTT
ALSO NO ONE COMING TO HIS FAKE FUNERAL EXCEPT HIS MOM :( she loved her little free spirit stanley
ALSO- him stripping for flour in Tijuana, again, i need photographic evidence.
his ex wives list also made me giggle. he was MARRIED TO OLD GOLDIE????? also Marilyn being Eda made me giggle, i love the fact that they got married at some point. get them back together please. also stan having smaller hands than ford and being self-conscious about it stan i love you mwah mwah mwah
ALSO FILBRICK TRYING TO SELL STAN FOR GETTIN AN F- PLEASE
anyways now onto the section at the bottom of the Wheel of Shame page!
Its titled : HOW HE BEAT ME. im not adding a photo bc ur guy is running out of room :(
you have to click on this repeatedly to get anything good out of it, so i took the liberty of milking it for all it had!!! i didnt take screenshots of everything because some of it was redundant, but here are the interesting and or funny bits:
just reiterating, this is not all thats in there, im just putting parts that stood out to me. please take the time to go through all this urself bc its a TREAT.
now into the crazier stuff
hes obviously having some sort of breakdown, just like we see at the end of the book of bill. the last page i decoded myself, and i got this using all the different decoders:
"THROUGH LQS SFSE CN EVERYONE IVE EVER"
for "LQS SFSE CN" i used the original bill cipher code, and im not sure why it gave me this. a smarter, better decoder probably has the answer.
i can theorize a few different things on what this could possibly mean even with it not being all decoded. the one that comes to mind is "I can still see through everyone ive ever met" maybe knowing too much? but without the middle part decoded i cant say much. if you have the solution for this please leave a comment as any help would be greatly appreciated. this all did drop a few hours ago so i doubt many people are working on decoding all this.
UPDATE!! I TRANSLATED IT WRONG.
IT SAYS “THROUGH THE EYES OF EVERYONE IVE EVER”
this makes alot more sense. bill can see through others eyes so it most likely is refering too how he possesses people and sees through their eyes. In the book of bill he shows how angry he is having to watch the Pines family be happy.
It says that when he closes his eye, he can still see through the eyes of everyone hes ever…possesed? probably. So can Bill still see through Ford, or maybe Dipper, and he cant turn it off. Whenever he closes his eyes he is haunted by the happy life he failed to destroy. To see through their eyes.
This poem using gambling as a way to describe Stan's life choices really struck me. the more i thought on it the more it made sense. he gambled that Ford's project would probably still work, gambled with all of his sham products. His entire life has been a betting game. The most interesting thing about all this is the end of the poem. It reads
"IM STILL ON YOUR MIND"
this has been a theory for awhile in the gravity falls community that if stan got back all his memories, including ones about bill, wouldnt bill come back? for me this confirms the theory, and opens up a whole new can of worms which i will talk about later.
I have reached my image and video limit, but expect more posts!
stay weird yall :)
#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#fiddleford mcgucket#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#decoding#weird#this took me an hour dont flop#save me stan
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i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).
i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.
i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).
whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.
ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)
i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.
anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.
(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )
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i actually think i have some sort of brain damage from chapter 403 because now ive taken my bkdk obsession to a whole new degree. like, i was insane before, but now i feel as if i should be genuinely put into an asylum.
ive gone through a full on awakening.
before this chapter i refused to believe that bkdk would become canon/hinted bc like its wishful thinking. but now? ive fallen into the fucking deep end. i am of full belief that bkdk will become canon or at least be hinted bc horikoshi is cooking something and im so glad im not the only one to see it.
there is no way that man doesnt know what hes doing. bkdks entire arc has been fucking perfect and this man just keeps BUILDING UP. like all this talk about feelings, and how bkdk have never really spoken about them to eachother before??? this is like, building up to a fucking love confession i swear, because katsuki DIED for izuku, and izuku cant control his heart when it comes to katsuki, and like… what other explaination is there? atp i consider it canon that theyre in love with each other.
and the other most likely ship that i thought was gonna be canon, izuocha, just is not feasible. its not like i dislike the ship, no hate to it at all, but making it canon would be so fucking harmful to izuku and ochakos characters and we dont talk about that enough. it would a dissapointing, flat conclusion with barely any build up and itd be the bland, predictable formula. like, ochako has already basically wrapped up her thing with izuku with that entire fight with toga. shes admitted herself that her crush on izuku was more admiration than anything of massive substance. and dont even get me started on izuku. barring some fluster and embarrassed blushing in the early seasons, this boy has NOT reciprocated AT ALL. its actually ridiculous. izuku has been focused on like, two things only: hero work, and kacchan. izuku does not show ANY romantic feeling to ochako whatsoever.
surely, surely if horikoshi were to make this canon, he’d put in a little more effort? add some more chemistry, more development, more than just ‘boy meets girl. blush and get shy. little crush. get married. the end’?
that is bad storytelling, and horikoshi is anything but a bad storyteller. this guy adds foreshadowing YEARS before the chapter. horikoshi is INSANE when it comes to character + relationship + plot development. if horikoshi throws all that out the way, and makes izuocha canon, id be extremely, extremely disappointed. not because i hate the ship, but because itd be out of nowhere, disregard practically ALL development, and be nauseatingly dissatisfying.
talking of which, for the entire day ive been thinking about the foreshadowing for bkdk.
there. is. so. fucking. much. it feels like everytime i read like a new section of the manga, their relationship is described in the most frutti tutti rainbow gay way. im sorry, shigafo, did you just say that katsuki is closer to izuku than ANYONE else? excuse me, aizawa, did you just describe them as pair, a pair that the class revolves around? dont even mention the shit that izuku and katsuki say referring to each other. i cant even choose one to add in here, but every out of context bkdk quote has like these SEVERE more-than-platonic undertones, especially when you consider their past and their development. i feel like horikoshi has been doing some fucking insane foreshadowing for something MORE.
yk, i keep on thinking about how in the double spread in 403, the words ‘the beginning’ are displayed right over bkdk, as they find each other. call me delusional, but that has to be on purpose. i also keep on thinking about izukus green and orange gloves in so many official arts, and the light in both their eyes when they see each other, and the way theyre both always observing the other, never speaking about how they feel directly.
their relationship is just so, so……. and i feel like the only next step is for them to talk. just. fucking. talk. its been hinted at for so long, and horikoshi is doing SOMETHING.
them simply being together would be the most satisfying, developed, beautiful ending.
if they arent canon, i will die. ill say it now. bkdk canon. there is too much proof. as a writer, i know for a fact that i write everything for a REASON. why would horikoshi write this, if he wasn’t going to do anything with it?
bkdk will be canon. i dont care if i sound insane, or get proved entirely wrong. i now fully believe that the last page of the manga will be bkdk at a theme park eating crepes.
thank you chapter 403 for driving me off the rails.
#i didnt mean to write a full essay type piece#this was meant to be a short post about me going bonkers#not complaining tho#bkdk canon#mha 403#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#ktdk#decchan#bnha#mha#ive got severe brainrot#horikoshi is doing something.#i did not reread this so excuse me if its just nonsense rambling
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Redesigning my COTL cast pt.2
NPC time!
I don't have many notes this time, but if you wanna read them, go under the cut :D
Ok first of all; enjoyed these a bit more than the last ones ngl - these were really fun! (Tho I redid ALL of them. Yes. I deleted and redid them all I think.)
Also, that's the reason the Fox is missing from here. I wanted to redo him, and so I decided to put him in a potential part 3.
The cat fam; I wanted to give Aym and Baal markings like Narinder (they each have half skeleton markings) but since they were born with them, I thought it should be more natural. Thought it would be fun if they were tortoiseshells and thus their design was made. Fun fact; Tortoiseshell can only be female or intersex so I guess I also transed them on accident (transmasc Aym and demigirl or nb Baal im debating - i dont really care LOL)
Helob; Saw the bones sticking out and wanted bone jewellery, Extra markings were added for fun. Whilst colouring, I thought it would be fun if he gains the red one after the events of the game bc he crafted it like friendship necklaces for the lamb but the lamb just doesn't really wear it to not freak others out
Oh also, the kits were initially born with normal eyes, making everyone think they weren't demigods but well... Godhood showed itself after they turned 5. Since Aym got his scar before that, the blind eye still looks normal. Aym comes after his Dad personality wise, but looks wise Forneus. Baal is the opposite.
Sozo; Markings stayed from when he was mind controlled, staying like tattoos of sorts. He scratched out ones that looked too mushroom like because he didn't wish to associate with it anymore. He still has his coat, and even though it's washed and repaired, he doesn't wear it anymore. Holds too many bad memories. Due to mycelium spreading through his vains and skin (exoskeleton), he has mycelium like markings all over his body. Some spots have faded, but others are very obvious, like his limbs, back/spine and neck. The book he is holding is a journal of his. He's just... trying to decipher what he wrote yesterday.
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl fanart#cotl au#cotl three times#cotl forneus#cotl aym#cotl baal#cotl helob#cotl sozonius#cotl sozo#redesign#furry art
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idk why but i feel like Cootstorm won't be the only cat that stays behind. like Nightberry or maybe even Slugpelt will stay behind too, for two different reasons
Cootstorm thinks they are bound to the land and the suffering as a divine punishment for their ancestors past sins, but she doesn't strike me as particularly sentimental.
Nightberry strikes me more as someone who would stay behind to tend to the graves of the cats they lost, rather than wallow in the misery 'ough out destiny is to suffer!!!!'. to keep their memory alive. plus she is kind of old and lived here for even longer than Cootstorm, so i feel like leaving for her would be a whole lot harder, especially without Cypressfoot.
Slugpelt.. i can see her both leaving with her living children, but also i can see her staying behind as some sort of self-imposed punishment. im thinking how she was taking small steps in repairing her relations with her kits, only for every next event take it away and shred it apart. every step forward, she was in the end forced to take twice as many back. Aphodelpaw was murdered just as Slugpelt tried to be more for her and her siblings. Rainhaze came back only to reveal that he killed Asphodelpaw and Slugpelt in blind, heartbroken rage killed him back. she lost everything, except for Pinepaw and Daffodilpaw. i can see her giving up on making thinks better and just.. stay. everytime she tried to change something in her life, it only went worse. so why bother? she might as well stay in the BarrenClan with Cootstorm and wither away. which would be even more ironic since she WANTED to leave with Cashew all those moons ago, and he left her soon after she found out she is pregnant. another nail to her barren coffin.
i dont think anyone else would stay. at least not with Cootstorm all alone tbh
Redpelt would definitely do everything she can to get Blacknose and the kits out. Plumstripe and Beeface might have an epiphany and realize they need to step up to take their father's place and take care of their mother (especially now that her dementia seems to take a harsh turn) and baby siblings, so no.
Egrettail.. maybe? for the same sentimental reason like Nightberry, but i dont want to leave her alone with Cootstorm for longer than 5 minutes lol she deserves better than that.
i think Daffodilpaw would leave to help Blacknose too. maybe she could also convince Slugpelt to leave as well.
Cormorantpaw would leave without a doubt, purely bc Defiance knows of his current location. i doubt he would feel good staying here with this knowledge anymore. again, i think he deserves better than stay with Cootstorm.
i can see Pinepaw staying, like Slugpelt hypothetically in some form of self-imposed punishment for his curiosity killing many cats, but. i doubt he will do that since Cootstorm stays too. maybe he wont move all the way out of the territory, but he doesnt seem like he would like to spend his remaining years/moons with her as his only companion.
Look at all these predictions! I love the thought you put into how each character might approach the daunting task of deciding their future. I hope you like what I do with them all.
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sorry to be that rehash that droid de suggondeez plotline (I REFUSE TO CORRECTLY SPELL FRENCH) with big e stealing a wife but could we pretttty ppLEAAAASE get some more mothiir? i am obsessed with the eldritch inhuman but human behaviour you write him with. it makes me want to chew on him while simultaneously wanting to beat him with a brick out of hatred. i have so many ideas. but ill take anything you offer up fr ill live off the scraps like a feral dog, its just that the the whole david and goliath vibe is TASTYYYY. please dignify my complete insanity for just an intsy winsy second because all i can imagine is how utterly FUCKED the stolenwife!reader's pov is. you try fight back a little too much? oh haha, ur so cute, but keep biting or scratching him and he'll sicc one of the custodes (or a few) to really try you out. let you be so overstimulated youre begging for something in you, and oh boy big e'll sooo do that dont worry. or maybe humble you by keeping you basically half bare like yeah not so cocky now LMFAO IM SO SORRY I NEVER GIVE PROMPTS SO BRAZENLY LIKE THIS BC IM A COWARD FULL OF SHAMEEE UR SO MUCH BRAVER THAN MEEE (thank you sm if you do or dont run with anything i spat out just then)
first of all, never apologise for requesting stuff and also i totally respect your disrespect of the French language. as an englishwoman i am contractually obligated to hate those frog-eating bastards (disclaimer: this is satire pls don’t cancel me). secondly i absolutely love your description of my interpretation of big e because it is also exactly how i feel about him. beat him with brick, pat hair, back to brick. I know i have moved away from that content but I still wave my emperor fucker flag and am always taking requests for him
i promise there will be actual coherent fic soon, but for now here is a bullet pointed list of the sort of things that guilliwife experiences (if there is one in particular you want a full fix of let me know):
the Emperor steals you, and does not think to tell Guilliman — why would he? He fucks you, enjoys it tremendously, then has to go and do some important Master of Mankind warp fuckery that means you spend about a fortnight in some random rooms with no one to talk to but the Custodes. And they barely talk! You never work out if they are bodyguards or prison guards, since you can’t imagine that you are important enough to warrant guarding, but you also don’t think that there is much effort needed to stop you escaping. Where would you even go?
It would be so much easier if he was always a selfish monster in bed — but he isn’t. Worse: he eats pussy exactly how you think a man with millennia of practice would. He likes bringing you to the very edge of orgasm and just stopping, pillowing his cheek on your stomach and watching as you whine and cry, partly with guilt and partly with sheer frustration. You end up begging him to fuck you, stumbling out every title you can think of — lord, emperor, sire, master — but his patience is limitless, and he can keep going for hours, until you’re completely insensible, promising every depraved thing if he will just stop teasing and put it in you
You belong to him. No one else is allowed to touch you — apart from valdor, one of his oldest friends and dearest allies. And captain Kytan. And a few other custodes. Sometimes at the same time. They’re extensions of his most absolutely not divine will — they can partake in the same luxuries he allows himself, otherwise what kind of a leader would he be? He likes seeing his best soldiers happy, especially when it’s because valdor is balls deep in your arse, while he enjoys the sweet warm stretch of your throat. You jostle and whimper between them, so full that you can barely breathe, and afterwards the emperor watches as valdor thumbs open your cheeks, just to watch your holes struggle to close up around the shape of his cock. Still, valdor can’t linger too long - there is already a line
He will cum inside you so much you swear your stomach bulges a little from it all. You have nightmares about popping like a balloon
eventually word reaches the Emperor that Guilliman is looking to speak to him as a matter of urgency — he is currently buried deep in your throat, enjoying the cute little gluck-gluck-gluck noises your gag reflex makes as you try to fit him all the way into your tight gullet. He does not ask you to stop this before answering the vox from a distraught Roboute, who is blathering about his fiancée going missing? The Emperor chuckles a little to himself, patting your hair — ah, having a woman to be wed and a woman in his bed, Roboute is far more like his father than first thought — wait. Ah. Singular woman. Singular. Shit.
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TRUE FORM BASED HABIT HEADCANONS :D
note: these are obviously not all completely accurate to the canon sketch we have of his true form, so if youre a canon purist you may not dig this post. these were all taken from my own personal version of his true form.
- similar to cats (mainly talking about bigger wild cats here) HABIT has little spikes, aka papillae, all over his tongue. i know his canon true form has some spikes at the end of its tongue, but this is how i like to view them since it makes more sense to me.
the spikes on cat tongues are there for a few reasons, but the main reason that sticks out to me is the fact theyre used to scrape meat from bones. i feel like thats pretty fitting for HABIT, considering he is a predator/hunter.
- HABITs claws cannot retract and he has paw pads similar (but not exact) to a wolves. hes literally a werewolf spider demon freakazoid thing, so i think it works!! plus the idea of him having paw pads of some sort is silly...
- his fur is a dark purple-ish tone meanwhile his (multiple) eyes are a brighter purple. he doesnt have pupils, his eyes are just one solid color. that last part is basically canon since evans drawing doesnt include pupils either, but i still wanted to mention it bc i think its cool :P
- HABITs teeth are similar to a wolves, though his are sharper than a wolves are, letting him sink them into things easier.
- he doesnt need to sleep often, but sometimes HABIT curls up into a ball to sleep more comfortably, like this ↓
- HABITs tails wag when hes happy or relaxed, but if someone were to point it out he would get annoyed and probably growl at them. HES SUPPOSED TO LOOK EVIL!! YOURE POINTING OUT THINGS THAT DONT MATCH HIS EVIL PERSONA!! HES SO MAD!!
- in the MLAndersen0 video "GOODBYE" theres a clip at some point where it sounds like HABIT purred. im assuming it was meant to be a growl that came out more purr-like, but i do like the idea of that evil fucked up looking creature being able to purr. similar to the tail wagging, he would probably get pissed if someone called him out on purring as well.
- HABIT can stand and walk on two legs, but he can also walk and run around on all fours. i dont think he would use his spider legs often, but i think he would definitely use them to appear taller/bigger and present more intimidating.
speaking of appearing taller/bigger, i think his true form would be pretty big. definitely bigger than your average wolf, hes probably like... idk, 2-3 mackenzie valley wolves combined.
- i think he would chew/bite on things for fun and out of boredom. im mainly talking about bones here, but he probably chews on random things he deems chewable sometimes too.
- HABIT would probably enjoy being petted but would never admit that. he would act like he hated it and would probably bite and growl at whoever was petting him. obviously not many have the opportunity to even attempt that, but if it were to happen, thats how i think it would play out. THIS ONE IS ALSO JUST KINDA SILLY TO ME like imagine THAT FREAK letting his guard down for a moment to enjoy the feeling of being petted
THATS ALL FOR NOW, FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS ABOUT HEADCANONS 🐾
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being so normal and regular abt modern domestic physouma . he makes sure phys takes their antidepressants every single day. he knows when theyre having a bad day , when they curl up on the bed or sofa under the weight of a bunch of blankets, head turned against the sunlight , and he's just sort of there, hovering ,never leaving them alone. quietly opens up all the windows and brings them food under the guise of having leftovers . holds them a little tighter when they sleep. and you know he kicks up a fuss if phys doesnt want to share the bed ( or couch, or wherever because ouma can sleep anywhere ) .
like whatever . phys likes buying flowers and plants to look after because it gives them a routine and something to get out of bed for even on days when they dont feel like it. they make ouma sneeze but he'd die before he says anything about it.
theyre both bad at cooking but ouma can make a couple of basic meals and phys likes experimenting . i think phys makes breakfast and ouma makes tea/dinner and beyond that they Scavenge . phys drinks a relentless amount of tea and hot chocolate but ouma isnt allowed caffeine . neither of them like spicy food . phys likes making eggs in the morning but is finicky about texture and finds that the safest way for them to eat them is either as an omelette or hidden in something else ( ouma encourages them to keep making eggs because theyre good for you ) .
they have a strict laundry day because they both know they'd let it slip otherwise , ouma because he hates doing it and phys because they'd get distracted and forget.
phys starts working a salaried job with the professor as soon as they graduate university ( which they do at seventeen or eighteen ) and he buys them a cute little apartment in the city. ouma moves in not long after they get together ( maybe they met at hopes peak .. ? ) and they share the space . and phys watches this apartment with a nice view of osaka turns into Their Home. every time they come home from work exhausted , sensory overload with stuff sticking to their neck and shoes too tight and hair in their face , ready to throw their bag down and scream—they see him . curled up like a cat on the couch or experimenting (to detrimental effects) in the kitchenette or sometimes just waiting for them to come up and they just feel themself light up .
incompatible sleep schedules but once phys is asleep Theyre Asleep so its okay . they go to bed anywhere from 11pm-2am and ouma will go with them but not sleep for ages . combo of fucked up sleep schedule , undiagnosed insomnia and trust issues abt falling asleep in front of someone first . hes a creep and stares at them whilst they sleep bc he finds it kind of adorable and also , like , theres a person so close to him in a way that he never thought there would be , like theyre here and theyre asleep and vulnerable and they trust him and its so surreal he has to jam his fist in his mouth before he screams sometimes . hes a stick insect once hes asleep btw . phys wakes up at 7am and hes clinging to them like a koala bear.
the Big Light never get used . they have so many lamps and phys loves stringlights so much . ouma find fun and cute and creative ones with coloured lights and cute shapes and they hang them up everywhere , all over the doorways and walls, and instead of doors they have those beaded curtains that hang down because they both like how they swish and ouma loves using them to make dramatic entrances and exits .
casual touch . sleepy nights curled up on the couch watching shitty 70s spy flicks , ouma with his back to phys' chest with his head lolling on their shoulder whilst they fiddle with his hair to keep their hands occupied .
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