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queenimmadolla · 2 years ago

Text

𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀

(eddie munson x secret admirer!reader)

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 • eddie edit © @fefemunson! • ao3

Summary: After four long years of pining, it’s high time you tell your crush you like him and quite possibly your last chance to, luckily there’s no better time for love confessions than Valentine’s Day. If only you hadn’t chosen to do so anonymously, because you’re pretty sure Eddie Munson is hoping his secret admirer is someone else.

Warnings: pining, angst, misunderstandings, very brief (blink and you miss it) descriptions of oncoming panic attack (doesn't happen), Heather Holloway being a sweetie, and a whole lot of fluff

authors note: no, you're not imagining things. i'm reposting a story i already have up. unfortunately, i seem to have an anti who has been flagging anything of mine that gains traction as content that it is not so it's hidden to those who don't have the settings on (most people) and goes to die away, never to be interacted with again. they're attempting to do the same to Magical Mysteria, as they had the original flagged and, therefore, hidden. because everyone seemed to really relate to reader and enjoyed reading this particular fic, i've decided to give that anti the finger, so here's a repost.

word count: 10k

You stood posted by a row of lockers, peaking around the corner of the hall to watch as the longtime object of your affections laughed at something one of his friends said.

“Are you stalking him again?”

You jumped, clutching your biology book to your chest as you swiveled around to face Heather, your best friend.

“Geez!” You hissed out, voice low as you checked to make sure you hadn’t attracted his attention.

But it’s you, so of course you hadn’t. Eddie was still leaning up against his locker and chatting away, face framed by the mane he called his hair. His curls were defined much more than usual—clearly he’d washed his hair before school which meant he must have been up early. Why did you know that????

“I’m not stalking him,” you grumbled and Heather giggled. “I’m just observing him.”

“Well, stop observing him and go talk to him.” She nudged your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile.

“I’m gonna—,” You answered with false bravado that soon wavered, “. . . eventually. Look, I have a plan. Okay, today is a new day, Valentine’s Day and the perfect day for romance. No more watching from the sidelines─”

Heather coughed out a stalking, followed by another cough, all of which you ignored.

“No more quietly pining, I’m telling him how I feel.”

Heather raised her eyebrows, tongue clicking.

“Let me get this straight, you’re not only going to actually exchange words with him, you’re actually going to tell Eddie Munson about your feelings?”

Your heart fluttered just at the mention of him.

Edward Wayne Munson. Eddie.

You’d had a crush on him since your freshman year of high school, and contrary to your best friend’s earlier statement, you had exchanged words with him already. Sorta. Basically.

Freshman year you’d ate shit in the hallway, tripping over literally nothing and all your belongings had scattered, he’d stopped walking to help you pick your things up before he was off again. It wasn’t much conversation, but he did say something about those invisible rocks people left lying around.

Then your sophomore year, he’d sat behind you with his club at the school’s mandatory pep rally. One of his friends had accidentally jostled you and Heather a little too roughly when he was finding his seat and Eddie had apologized on his behalf.

Then last year he’d held the cafeteria door open for you and your friends when you slipped in. That time, you’d been the one to thank him and he had said you’re welcome. Almost unprompted!

So, yeah. Maybe you were a little delusional, it didn’t matter though. What mattered was you were running out of time.

Somehow, Eddie had managed to fail the past two years, allowing you to catch up to him but that meant you were now a senior as well. You’d let the other chances to approach him pass you by because you were too scared of rejection, this was your last chance.

The college acceptance letter you’d received at the start of the week also spurred your bravery, if he rejected you, you only had a few months left until you were on your way to California, there’d be all those states between the two of you.

You had nothing to lose, so today was gonna be the day.

“Yes,” you took a deep breath, slowly exhaling as the determination sank deep into your bones. “I’m gonna tell him.”

“How are you gonna do that?” She cocked her head, the curls of her side ponytail bouncing.

“I’m glad you asked, my friend.” You grabbed her hand, dragging her down the hall to your partially opened locker. You pulled the door open fully to reveal a bouquet of roses, set on top of your books.

Her face wrinkled up in confusion, “You bought yourself flowers again?”

“No.” You glared at her, a hand scratching your head as you hissed out through gritted teeth, “And we promised not to bring that up anymore—these are for Eddie.”

Heather perked up at that, a hand resting over her chest as she fawned, “Dude, that is so cute! When are you gonna give them to him?”

“That’s the thing, I’m not actually going to give them to him directly. I need your help. You’ve got history with him, yeah?”

You already knew she did so it didn’t surprise you when she nodded. You slipped one rose from the bouquet and handed it to her.

“Can you leave this on his desk?”

“Sure! Wow, I can’t believe I get to be part of your love story,” she marveled, twirling the stem between her fingertips.

God, you hoped it’d be a love story and not a tragedy.

“And these are for you.” You pulled out a smaller bouquet of pink roses, and Heather just about burst into tears.

The two of you had been best friends since middle school, and often spent your free time watching corny teen movies, usually living through the main characters of the romance ones. You’d had a couple of almost-boyfriends, in the end you hadn’t been interested in them enough to accept when they’d try to make it official. And Heather simply hadn’t caught the eye of anyone, which was ridiculous to you considering how pretty and nice she was, so you were usually her valentine on Valentine’s Day. This was the first time you actually got her flowers instead of a bunch of chocolates to eat the night away, you’d figured she deserved them.

She’d had a crush on Steve Harrington, but he hadn’t noticed her and ended up dating and getting dumped by Nancy Wheeler. Then he’d dated every other girl except her. You feared your non-existent relationship with Eddie might go the same way.

“Dude,” Heather yanked you in for a hug, squeezing you to the point you thought your ribs might be bruised.

“Uhm. Heather. Ow.”

“Oh, sorry.” She released you, holding you by your shoulders, “Okay, so I just give it to him?”

“No, no, no, no, no. There will be no interactions. Just leave it on his desk.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”

You were about to reply when the first bell cut you off and threw you into a panic, nudging Heather in the direction of the classroom so she could beat Eddie there. Heather took off running once she realized the reason for your worry, only you both failed to remember Eddie was late to everything.

You reluctantly made your way to your first period, plagued by thoughts of Eddie’s reaction to the first rose.

Would he like it? Oh, you hoped he liked it.

What if he thought it was some prank? What if he threw it away? Would he do the same to the rest?

Oh, well. There was no backing out now.

Your carefully thought out plan was put into action. You’d made sure to play sick the last 15 minutes of every class to get an excuse note to the nurse, only you didn’t go to the nurse. Instead, you ran around leaving a rose in Eddie’s various hang outs. One at the creepy old bench you knew he did business at. Two roses with the stems placed through the slits of his locker, three on his windshield wipers, one of the younger students in your art class was in Hellfire with him and after swearing him to secrecy, Will had promised to deliver three to Eddie personally, without revealing your identity.

During lunch, you found yourself behind the stage of the cafeteria, in part of the drama department. It’s where Hellfire took place.

You’d been there a handful of times, only when your curiosity for the metalhead got a little too overwhelming for you and you wanted to feel closer to him without having to face him. It was only ever set up on Fridays, the day Eddie got to school early enough to do so.

You made your way over to sit in the chair closest to his throne, casting it a couple of nervous glances.

This would be where you left the last rose, so of course, everything about the set up, the throne had to look daunting to you now; a representation of how you were seeing Eddie as your confession grew nearer. If things didn’t go as planned, it’d be the last time you could come here.

The thought made your stomach hurt, a large void beginning to form there.

The last rose was much too personal to leave just anywhere, where someone without a key to the room would find it. No one but the Hellfire club would occupy this area today. Attached to the rose with a ribbon was a note with a simple message that meant more to you than you cared to admit. You’d written it when you first came up with your plan at the start of the week and had been debating on whether or not to sign your name since then.

The answer should’ve been obvious, right? This whole thing was to let Eddie know how you felt about him, and your romantic intentions were clear with the red roses. This note would finish implying the rest. And if you wanted Eddie to know it was you who admired him, you just had to write your name.

Yeah, simple as that.

You clicked the pen in your grasp, placing it just over the paper.

You wavered, licking your lips as you tried to convince yourself to just own your goddamn name. That’s all you had to do. Write on the paper.

Just write on the paper.

Your hand was beginning to shake, and with a heavy heart, you realized your name wouldn’t be going on this note.

You weren’t brave enough for that. You set your purple pen down, staring down at the words written in pink ink before you rolled the paper up, making sure the ribbon was secured (you’d used a hole puncher to slip the ribbon through) and left it on the seat of the throne before scurrying out of the room as fast as you could.

—

Eddie was at a loss, completely stupefied.

When he’d arrived at his history class, after having mentally prepared himself for the onslaught of boredom he’d face, he was surprised to find a single rose on his desk. By surprised, he meant incredibly suspicious. A glance around the room confirmed he wasn’t being watched, everyone was gossiping about Emmy Switcher’s upcoming party, so he’d settled into his seat and marveled at it.

Eddie wasn’t one to ever really get things on Valentine’s Day, not counting the mandatory valentine’s cards in elementary and middle school. The last time he’d gotten a card was his first senior year, and it had been a prank by a couple of girls on the softball team and their boyfriends. Embarrassed the shit out of him. The following Valentine’s Day he’d faked being sick to avoid falling victim again—god, he craved affection so much it made him pathetic enough to still hope for something gross and cheesy to happen to him.

A rose was harmless though, right? Unless it was poisoned or something. Eddie lifted it to his nose, but all he could pick up was the seductive floral scent and when he didn’t immediately pass out from chloroform, he figured it was just a rose.

He glanced around again in vain, hoping someone would somehow stick out and when no one did, he held it in his grasp, rough fingertips stroking over the soft petals for the duration of the class.

He’d been stunned when he arrived at his locker to find two roses hanging out of it. A few people were staring at him as he carefully pulled them from their place, but they looked more curious rather than shy or mischievous. He had a feeling whoever was leaving the roses for him wasn’t around.

He refused to leave them in his locker, the stems clutched in his hand as he went about his day and found more. Eddie was more than proud to display them, somewhat smug at the attention they were garnishing him.

Yeah, fuckers. Someone finally liked him. Eat shit.

He’d spent his English class convincing himself he’d never find out exactly who this someone was. He was pretty fucking stressed after that. He tried to come up with a roster of sorts, girls he thought might be interested in him enough to maybe leave him pretty flowers and woo him right out of his Reeboks.

He’d only been able to come up with four—impressive—but his first pick he was quick to scribble out. He hadn’t had a decent interaction with her and he figured it was creepy of him to put her at the top of the list all because of his wishful thinking.

The second girl listed was possible, maybe. Chrissy Cunningham. He’d had a crush on her for as long as he could remember since she was always nice to him. She’d dumped Jason a couple of months ago and he’d been dealing to her for a short amount of time, but she seemed pretty flirty to him. Although, flattery did work on him.

The third name made him nervous, and not in a good way. Tina Sawyer. They’d both got pretty drunk at her Halloween party and hooked up in her bathroom but she avoided him like the plague afterwards, obviously embarrassed about interacting with him, which was typical for the lot of Hawkins.

He’d been sure it was a drunken mistake but sometimes, he’d catch her staring at him, and she didn’t look all that disgusted with him.

The last name on the short list was that of Tammy Thompson. She had made her interest in Eddie pretty clear his junior year, always trying to sit behind him in classes so she could play with his hair. Unfortunately Tammy was very, for the lack of better words, aggressive with her affections. He’d made out with her once and it had been sloppy and messy in the most unattractive of ways. It was like tonguing a dog.. Then he remembered she’d actually been able to graduate, unlike him, so he was spared.

By lunch, Eddie was ready to try to figure out who his secret admirer was. Out of the two remaining girls on his list, he was leaning more towards Chrissy, who he felt wouldn’t be ashamed to hold his hand in public.

He and his lunchbox full of drugs—and some snacks—made their way to the Hellfire lunch table where he spent a significant amount of time studying the two girls.

“Uh, are you okay, Eddie?”

Eddie glanced up at the concerned face of Will Byers, who’d arrived much later than the rest of the guys and Stephanie, one of the two girls in Hellfire. The question drew the attention of the rest of the table and Eddie internally sighed.

“Yeah, I’m fine—what are those?” Eddie asked, eyes honed in on the roses resting on Will’s tray.

The younger teen handed them over, “A girl told me to give you these.”

Eddie felt his heart skip a beat, “You know who she is?”

Will nodded and before Eddie could demand a name, he rushed, “I’ve been sworn to secrecy!”

Eddie scowled, carefully setting aside his roses so they wouldn’t be involved in his annoyance.

“Byers, I’m gonna level with you. I’ve been in this miserable prison for six long years. While I’ve had my fair share of hookups, I have not ever had a girl like me enough to leave me roses and do cute shit before. And I fear I never will again. That’s why I’m actually gonna need you to tell me who it is so I can have a girlfriend by the end of what is supposed to be the most god awful romantic day of the year. ‘Kay?”

Eddie’s eyebrows dart up, face set in an intimidating glower but Will remembers how scared you looked when you trusted him with this task. He also knows, very well, how it feels to love someone without them ever knowing because you fear what their response will be. He’d also seen Eddie eyeing both Chrissy and Tina.

Will knew what it was like to have that special person interested in someone else, too. So, he’d protect your secret.

“I swore.”

Eddie groaned, head dipping forward in a brief moment of defeat before he slammed his fist on the table, making the other occupants jump.

“Whatever, I’ll find her myself.” Just as Eddie stands, an idea occurs to him. Will said he wouldn’t tell him who it was, but the youngest Byers hadn’t said he wouldn’t tell him who it wasn’t, “Is it Tina?”

Will shakes his head, nose wrinkling. Nothing against her, she just wasn’t the nicest to him or his friends. Not the meanest, still.

Eddie breathes out a sigh, mumbling an oh, thank god as he makes his way to the cafeteria doors. That only left one possibility, and he was due to meet up with her in just five minutes. He couldn’t fight the grin off his face.

──

Your heart was racing a mile a minute, having witnessed everything transpire at the Hellfire table.

You’d selected your lunch table four years ago because of the perfect view of Eddie it provided you, but right then it was killing you. You’d ruined your manicure, picking aggressively at the polish as you watched Will and Eddie, breathing out a sigh of relief when it looked like Will hadn’t revealed your identity.

Eddie hadn’t seemed too happy about that.

Then he stormed out and you fought very hard with yourself to not follow after him because then Heather would be right and you’d be a stalker.

“Regret it yet?” Heather asked after she’d swallowed a bite of her sandwich.

“No.” You sorta lied. Yeah, you kind of regretted it but at the same time, knowing Eddie wouldn’t have to let you down gently made you less anxious. Besides, it wasn’t like you could just climb up the stage and duck past the curtain leading to the hellfire room without one of it’s members spotting you from their table. They’d tell Eddie in a heartbeat, especially if they found out the last rose and that damn note was there.

“Sure,” Heather drawled, glancing over her shoulder as you picked at your food, appetite suddenly gone.

Maybe you really should have written your name on that love note.

“Well, I hope you mean it, because Dream Girl is on her way to meet Ice Cream.” Your head snapped up at the mention of Chrissy Cunningham and Eddie’s code names you’d given them so both you and Heather were free to talk without either of them suspecting anything. You referred to Chrissy as Dream Girl because you’d known all about Eddie’s crush on her (while Heather had been depressed about Steve and Nancy, you’d eaten your weight in ice cream over Eddie and Chrissy’s more than friendly interactions with each other, which had nothing to do with Eddie’s code name—he was ‘ice cream’ because you wanted to lick him all over).

Sure enough, you looked over Heather’s shoulder, following her gaze to see Chrissy bidding her friends goodbye before she walked right out of the doors Eddie had pushed past minutes ago and as you watched her exit through the double doors, something inside you withers and dies a bit.

You knew Eddie sold to her (gave her a discount because she was pretty and because of their flirting, hearing him say that made you want to drive a knife right through your chest), you and Heather had followed them out a couple of times which is how you were both aware of the flirtationship.

After the first time you’d spied on them, the two of you had gone back to your home where Heather held a mock funeral for you. Now, you wished it had been a real one because you were sure Eddie had not only loved your roses, he also assumed they were from Chrissy. They would send him right into her arms at that shitty ass bench. And when he’d get a hold of the love note, well, you’d be the reason behind why Eddie and Chrissy would be hand in hand come Monday, canoodling by their lockers and kissing like no one else was watching. All the things Eddie should have been doing with you.

You should have signed your name on the fucking note.

─

Eddie had paced a pathway, disturbing the mounds of fallen leaves surrounding the picnic table.

His stuff, another rose he’d found waiting for him included, was on the table and he’d taken off his jacket, despite the chill of the February air. He was working himself up in his head, overheating in the process.

“Eddie?”

His head shot around, grinning as Chrissy—who apparently left him roses—approached him, face broken out in a smile.

“Hey, Chris.” Eddie’s heart was racing a mile a minute, palms sweaty as he rested them over his hips, then quickly realized he looked stupid so he crossed them instead.

She laughed at his nerves with absolutely no malice and they sat down at the bench, getting down to business. She’d been about to hand him a twenty dollar bill after he slid her the ziploc bag of nugs, but he held up his hand.

“On the house.”

“Eddie, it’s always on the house. I feel bad.”

“Then stop.” He emphasized the demand with bulging eyes, smirking when she giggled. She had to like him, right?

Eddie tried to be discreet about it, plucking one of the roses from his growing pile. He played with the stem, even sniffed the petals again in hopes she’d comment about it, maybe look a little excited about it or just give him any sort of reaction to indicate it had been her.

Chrissy was too busy moving things aside in her backpack to make room for the baggy. When she finally did look back up, she smiled, but gave no hint she was even familiar with them.

“Ooh, pretty flowers. Where’d you get those?”

Was she playing coy?

“Uh, someone’s been leaving them for me all around school.” Was it you?

Chrissy’s face lit up and Eddie thought it was finally the moment of truth.

“That’s so sweet! Do you know who it is? Or is it like a secret admirer sort of deal?”

Evidently, not the moment of truth. She had to be toying with him, trying to prolong the reveal. Because if it wasn’t her, he was out of ideas. And he really, really didn’t want to be out of ideas. Not when there was someone out there, maybe thinking about him.

“I actually have no idea who it is,” he sighed out, hoping, if it was her, she’d just put him out of his damn misery already.

Chrissy glanced down at the table and Eddie perked up. Nerves? Was she finally gonna come out with it?

“It wasn’t me, Eddie…but, I wish it had been.”

Eddie didn’t know what to say, mouth dropped open a little as his eyebrows quirked up in surprise.

Okay. Hadn’t been expecting that. He was expecting a yes it was me or a no it wasn’t me but not Chrissy confirming it hadn’t been her while also telling him she liked him.

“So, you haven’t been leaving them for me?”

Chrissy shook her head and reached across the table to place her smaller hand over his, palm warm against his skin. Eddie’s eyes squeezed shut as he groaned, head falling forward to rest against the table.

“Eddie?” Chrissy asked, concern lacing her voice.

He let out a very long sigh, a little miffed at how messy this whole thing had gotten. Now, there was his, Chrissy’s and someone else’s feelings in the mix. Christ.

“‘M’sorry, Chrissy.” Eddie sat up straight, face grim as he slowly pulled his hand out from underneath hers. “You’re great, fantastic, actually. You’re really nice and really pretty, but… I’ve been going crazy all day, trying to figure out who’s behind these.”

He gestures to the roses at his side, the sight of them filling him with an intense wave of longing.

“It’s been like years since I’ve gotten anything with real meaning behind it for any occasion—” he wasn’t counting the hellfire club or Wayne, referring to romantic intentions—“let alone Valentine’s Day, and someone in this school seems to be thinking about me.”

Eddie thought about what it must have taken to do something like this, it may have seemed like a trivial thought, something simple to others. He knew it wasn’t. He had no idea who it was, but he put himself in their position. They had to know enough about him to know his schedule, where he spent time, and then make the time to leave them in those spots just before he got there.

He’d spent the time waiting for Chrissy considering the anonymity of it. On the chance it wasn’t her, there was someone else in the school who was too afraid to approach him directly. He’d thought it might be out of fear of being seen with him, seen doing anything remotely romantic with him. Then, why even bother? They had to be afraid of his reaction, it’s what he would be nervous about if the positions were flipped.

And god, he’d never felt more alive before, more seen and all it took was a couple of roses. He felt like those fawning girls in John Hughes movies.

“Before today, I never would have approached you about this, you know? I know we flirt, but I never would have been brave enough to cross that line.” He admitted, looking into her shiny blue eyes. Aw, man. Eddie hated making girls cry but it was true, he would have been waiting for her to make a move, or for Tina to make a move. Any of his past hookups, really. He’d have been with any of them—having craved affection and everything that came with it so bad—if they had just been the ones to initiate things on a more permanent basis.

He would have. Past tense. They could all form a conga line and confess their undying love for him but, unless they were the one who left him the roses—the one who made him brave enough to actually go around confronting people in an attempt to seek her out—he’d let them down.

“She made me brave, makes me feel really wanted and I don't even know who she is. It’s not you, it’s just─”

“I’m not her.” Chrissy finished for him, wiping under one of her eyes. “It’s alright, Eddie. I mean, I’m obviously a little sad, but it’s not your fault or hers. I do hope you find her, though. She’d be lucky to have you.”

She gave Eddie a sad smile, making him feel even guiltier but it’d be pretty shitty of him to try to be with her when he’d be thinking of someone else.

“Thanks, Chrissy.” Eddie stood up and gathered his things. It was clear she was upset and would probably need some time to gather herself, he didn’t want to force her to leave first or linger around and make it awkward.

He left her with a small, parting smile, relieved that he hadn’t charged her. Would have felt like a douchebag to make her pay for weed and turn her down in the span of five minutes when she’d been nothing but pleasant to him.

Eddie shook it off, determination setting in once more. Sure, he was back to the drawing board, but if all else failed, he could corner young Byers again until he finally gave him a name.

He’d come up with a pretty good list of ways he could force Will to give up the name by the time school let out and he got to the Hellfire room.

It wasn’t until he set his little bouquet and the lunchbox down (he didn’t bother with backpacks, just shoved whatever he needed in his pants pockets or the box), walking around the throne in a circle like some fucking animal because he was so restless, that he saw the rose.

The flash of white had caught his eyes and he dove down to grab it, trying to be as careful with pulling the piece of paper away from the stem of the rose, only he realized whoever left it had hole punched the thing together so he ripped the ribbon with his teeth rather than rip the note.

The ribbon was stuffed into his back pocket as he eagerly sat himself down, rose clutched in one hand and the note in his other.

Eddie,

Please excuse my lack of eloquence in this note and also in our real life encounters.

Eddie felt a shiver of excitement wash over his skin, cheeks a bright shade of pink at the confirmation he’d indeed interacted with his secret admirer before. Fuck, she’d talked to him! It made her feel even more real.

She was a real person, someone he could probably hold hands with and kiss. Unless, this was done in a purely platonic way which would be a little fucked up. Red roses to be friends? C’mon. He read on.

I hoped you liked the flowers. I was actually debating on getting you different ones, something a little more personalized to you, but I ended up going with roses because, well, they convey romance better.

Eddie leaned over the arm of the throne, sagging back as he allowed himself to completely collapse with relief. Just for a few seconds, then his eyes were glued to the pink penmanship.

I’m trying really hard not to sound creepy because I’m totally not creepy and I know what you're thinking, ‘that’s what a creep would say’ but I swear I’m not, I just. I admire you. A lot. I have for so, so long. I admire the way you keep going, even when things are absolute shit for you, I like how you watch out for the underclassmen that come in and don’t really have anywhere to go. I like the way you dress, how pretty your hair is (even when it’s frizzy which is so unfair), how passionate you get with your rants (even though sometimes you’re an asshole about it).

And I like your laugh I LOVE your laugh. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had what feels like the worst fucking day of my life and I’m ready to breakdown and cry and scream, but I don’t. Because I can hear you laugh your ass off at something one of your friends said in the cafeteria, by your locker or even when you’re just walking past me. And I wish I was there, laughing alongside you or making you laugh. I don’t know how your laughter makes me feel better, it just does. I get all smiley and I feel warm inside and I want to give you a hug for it, for making me feel better without even trying.

But I can’t. You kind of scare me. Not in the mean, scary way, I’m just not sure you’ll like me. Or that it’ll go anywhere, or even if it should.

You’re so confident, Eddie. And you’re stupid attractive (you are, and I’m sure you’re aware but I’ll go ahead and tell you I’m also physically attracted to you) and it’s so overwhelming that I can’t contain it anymore and I don’t really want to. We only have a couple of months before we’re out of here (I have a feeling this is gonna be your year, you’ll be free of this sentence, too), and I don’t want to have any regrets. The only way I’d ever regret you is by not telling you how I feel.

So, here I am, Eddie Munson. Never thought I’d ever be confessing like this, but for the first time in my life, I feel brave. And it’s all because of you. Thank you, Eddie. I’ll be running around— dodging teachers and detention write ups— like Rocky in his training montages to get these roses to you because you deserve your flowers and I’d be delighted to give them to you today, and every single Valentine’s Day after. Actually, I want to give you even more than that. If you’ll have me.

Love,

What the fuck?

Eddie hastily searched the bottom portion of the back side of the paper, where the note ended for a signature, a name, initials, something but that’s where it ended.

There was no name.

“NO! FUCK! NO! No, no, no, no, NO! I’ll have you, take me, just tell me who you are!” Eddie groaned out, note dropped into his lap so he could clench the roots of his hair with both fists as he doubled over.

This had to be a nightmare. It was the only reasonable explanation for someone to say all those wonderfuckingful things, just for them to disappear.

His heart hurt and he blinked frantically to ward off the onslaught of water and sniffed to deter the tingle in his nose.

The unmistakable sound of his own little rat pack making their way towards the room wasn’t enough to get him to pull himself together.

“Eddie, dude, are you okay?”

Eddie recalled his final option, head shooting to glance around at their faces in search of one in particular.

“Byers. Where’s Byers?”

“His mom picked him up after lunch, wasn’t feeling good,” Mike informed him, completely unaware his grand Valentine’s gesture for Jane had been the cause of his sudden illness.

It was the final straw for Eddie, he snatched the lunchbox and flowers and grumbled out, “Sessions canceled.”

He must have looked pissed as none of them protested, probably having something to do with most of them having dates afterwards.

He almost made it out of the room when Gareth called him back, holding up a purple pen he’d found on the table and figured Eddie was about to forget.

“Is this yours?”

Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“No.” Then he walked out.

Before promptly storming back in, swiping the pen out of Gareth’s meaty hands. Eddie clicked the pen and scribbled furiously over the side of his fist until the ink finally ran. It wasn’t purple. The ink filler was pink.

His secret admirer’s pen.

“What a cruel parting gift,” he sighed, shoving the pen in his pocket before making his exit. Again.

The really sad thing was Eddie couldn’t even sink into depression in the peace of his room. Emmy Switcher had approached Rick about wanting some herbal refreshments at her party and since he was still under house arrest (how Rick managed to deal and supply in his circumstances baffled him) the job fell upon Eddie. He’d driven to Rick’s restocked, then hit the party.

It was a horn fest, couples everywhere he looked. All heart-eyed and attached at the tongue. It was disgusting.

Eddie was pouting, quietly fuming that it wasn’t him and his secret admirer making out or cuddling or doing something equally romantic but noooooo. Just had to take the ‘secret’ aspect to its extreme.

He banished himself to a dark corner, only interacting with people when approached for drugs or weed. He’d caught sight of Chrissy and it had looked like she wanted to come over but he’d purposely shifted his gaze. Despite the gaping hole left where his heart was, it wasn’t Chrissy or Tina, or the girl in the upstairs restroom, who’d thrown herself at him when he’d been searching for a free bathroom to piss in, that he wanted. Eddie wasn’t in the mood to rebound.

Which was kind of crazy considering he hadn’t even been in a relationship, hadn’t been dumped. He wanted everything in that note, especially the promise of more and only with its author.

Now, Eddie hadn’t been in love before. Some serious lust and want, yeah, however, reading that note made him feel like he was falling a little bit in love and he wanted, very badly, to dive headfirst the rest of the way. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen.

Once he’d sold out the rest of Rick’s inventory, he stole a beer and headed for the front door.

Once outside, Eddie took a minute to breathe. He hadn’t realized how stuffy it had been in there until he was no longer engulfed by the claustrophobic displays of affection.

He trudged down the pathway and paused when he saw the figure of a girl sitting on the lawn. Her head was directed down towards the ground and she was most definitely not wearing the right clothes for the outside weather.

Eddie cursed under his breath, plans to immediately drive home and get crossed put on hold as he walked over, noting the dew already coating the grass.

“Hey, you okay?”

─

Drinking your sorrows away probably wasn’t the best idea, considering how much of a lightweight you were.

Originally, you’d wanted to lock yourself away in your room for the night—and probably the rest of the weekend as well as maybe the next school week; nothing wrong with playing sick to avoid facing reality and your problems─to cry and pass out. Heather, on the other hand, had plans for you. She’d dolled you up, having to force you to wash your face and re-do your makeup once when you had started crying—put you in a cute outfit and dragged you to Emmy Switcher’s party.

You knew her intentions were pure—as pure as underage drinking could be—but she knew her mistake when the party started to couple up. You’d been approached multiple times and she’d try to encourage you to go for the decent acting ones, you just hadn’t wanted to. When Chrissy Cunningham showed up, you’d gone for shots of the hard liquor (over the sink of course in case you gagged it up, which you did a decent amount of), sure that Eddie would soon follow and you’d be forced to witness their affection.

Obviously, you ended up shitfaced and somehow lost track of Heather. Or maybe she lost track of you. You’d very briefly attempted to find her, accidentally spotted Chrissy, now making eyes at Eddie who’d shown up, and you’d promptly headed outside, eager for some fresh air and an escape from the madhouse. The high alcohol level in your blood kept you from feeling how chilly it really was and you settled into the grass, twirling strands of it around your fingers.

You weren’t sure how long you were out there when someone approached you.

“Hey, you okay?”

You looked up, ready to ask them to just leave you when you locked eyes with Eddie Munson. Most of the liquid courage coursing through your veins evaporated, you couldn’t look at him for long, gaze moving back to the grass. What a way to start sobering up.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? ‘Cause,” Eddie sat down next to you, one leg crossed and his other, knee up with his arm resting over it. His unopened beer was at his side, “You’re outside, alone, in the cold and you look pretty fucking sad.”

You scoffed, fingers still playing with the strands of grass as you tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t make you seem pathetic. In that time, Eddie took you in.

He knew you, he’d seen you around school and you were nice enough to greet him. Pleasantries in passing. Pretty Hallway Girl, as you’d been dubbed—though never referred to as—until he knew your name. It had been the first one he had jotted down on his list for his secret admirer’s identity, of course he realized with your lack of interactions, it wasn’t likely. He entertained the idea of dating you often, you’d just never shown any real interest in him. Eddie thought about it a lot. Anytime he caught sight of you, really. Your pretty face didn’t make it easy for him to stop. He was a really, really big sucker for your eyes and that smile you’d give him during those brief interactions; like the two of you had some sort of secret between each other. Warmed him up inside.

And here you were, all sad at a party. He didn’t really mind not getting crossed if it meant he got to comfort you, keep you company.

“I’m just drunk,” you finally blurted out, unable to come up with anything else, “And bummed.”

Try devastated.

“You look it,” he joked, nudging his shoulder against yours.

“You don’t look that much better.” You shot back.

“That’s fair,” he sighed, breath visible in the night air as he tilted his head back. “I’m pretty bummed, myself.”

You really didn’t want to ask, figuring he’d already had some sort of lover’s quarrel with Chrissy and you didn’t want to get in the middle of it.

But you were an idiot, so you asked, “Why are you bummed?”

You watched him dig around the pockets of his leather jacket, pulling out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out of the pack, clenching it in between his teeth as he shoved the pack back into the pocket before he shrugged off the jacket entirely—denim vest included—putting it around your shoulders.

It caught you off guard but you were grateful, your body having decided to become once more susceptible to the chill of the air and dewy grass. Eddie must have been a freaking space heater because the lining inside was blissfully warm.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, shimmying around in it until you could slip your arms into the long sleeves of it, your fingers barely poking past the hem.

“You’re welcome,” he shrugged, flicking the lighter to life as he lit the cigarette. After he’d taken a drag, he answered you.

“Love,” Eddie blew out along with a wispy plume of smoke, “Didn’t expect it to be so complicated.”

You wanted to mime the action of staking yourself in the heart. Of course he was in love with her. She was wonderful! And on top of that, he thought she’d been the one leaving him roses! Had he read the note? Assumed it was her, too? DUH! You were definitely playing sick next week.

“Yeah, well. Join the club,” you grumbled, hugging his jacket around you. It was as close as you were ever gonna get to actually hugging him.

Eddie raised an eyebrow, hoping to school his disappointment. While he wasn’t looking for anyone else tonight, it was still displeasing to hear you were taken but of course you were. He couldn’t imagine you dating sporadically, you seemed much too wonderful for someone to even consider giving you up. No, he was gonna hurt himself with ideas involving you and a high school sweetheart stemming back to your freshman days, probably.

“Ah, I see. Is he here?”

You froze for a moment, “Uhm, yeah. He is.”

“Then why come? Or did it happen in there?” He jabbed a thumb behind him, gesturing to the party inside.

“No, it didn’t happen tonight, it was earlier. In the day. I didn’t really want to come but my best friend dragged me out here. I thought I was doing good, apparently not ‘cause here I am. I’m mostly bummed because of myself, though. I didn’t follow through on something I sort of promised myself and I messed everything up. For me. Not for him. I think he’s pretty happy, so I don’t want to ruin that. He deserves to be happy.”

Eddie could tell you meant it, you were vague as hell but whatever you’d done, however it ended, you genuinely seemed to want your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) to be happy. He hoped it wasn’t something you had to cave into for one of those meatheads. You deserved better than those jerks.

“That’s pretty selfless of you if you ask me,” Eddie raised the cigarette to his lips, admiring you.

“Eh, I guess. I fully plan on punishing myself for it, though. Really make sure to rub the salt in there, you know?” You finally turned to grin at him, despite the sinking feeling in your stomach.

Eddie thought about how he couldn’t just stop going to school so he could avoid having to look at all the faces in the crowds and wonder if his admirer is one of them.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m right there with you.”

Sweetheart. He really was trying to kill you.

“Eddie, get your ass in there and make up with her.” You lightly slapped his arm and jabbed your finger in the direction of the house. You were not about to let your sacrifice be in vain and he’d better stop unknowingly torturing you like this.

“I can’t!” He laughed, amused with your sudden bossy attitude.

“Why not?” You whined, eager to just get him away from you. It wasn’t fair, he wasn’t being fair.

“Because I have no idea who she is.”

Once again you froze, eyes widening. Luckily for you, Eddie didn’t look too much into your reaction. He figured most people would be surprised over him nursing a heartbreak from someone he didn’t quite actually know, or was aware that he knew.

“What?” You asked, trying to seem as uninterested as possible as you played with the ends of his jacket sleeves.

“Fuck it. Someone left me roses all around the school and this really amazing love note.” For a moment, Eddie entertained the idea of trying to convey exactly what it meant to him, then he thought better of it. He’d either seem crazy, desperate or like some pathetic guy in love (which, he kind of was on the cusp of), “Pretty sure it was a girl.”

Not a single dude in the high school was romantic enough to pull it off, maybe leave him an entire bouquet, but not expand upon it like she had.

Eddie licked his lips, raising the cigarette to them once more and ready to admit that he had no fucking clue who she was, but he figured he might as well make one last rally.

“Wouldn’t happen to be you, would it?”

“Not me,” you lied flawlessly, with a gentle shake of your head. “Sorry, Eddie.”

Sorry I’m a big liar because HOLY FUCKING SHIT, wasn’t expecting that.

“I figured. Still had to try, your boyfriend probably would have kicked my ass, though.” Yeah, Eddie hated Valentine’s Day.

He stubbed the cigarette out into the wet grass, and laid the rest of the way down, hands covering his eyes as the back of his head met the ground.

You frowned down at him.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Hello.

Eddie peaked at you through his fingers, “No?”

You shook your head and as Eddie moved to push himself back up, he yelped.

He shifted onto his side, digging around his pocket for whatever it was that stabbed him.

“Ouch,” He hissed, yanking the purple pen out. “Damn, that hurt like a bitch.”

Your eyes squinted at it in suspicion.

“Is that my pen?”

“Huh?”

“My favorite—and pricey—pen. I lost it at school today.” In fact, you were sure you had and you were sure that was your pen. You’d broken off the clip of it by accident and you recognized the large crack in the body of it, having once given into an intrusive thought regarding whether or not you had the strength to break it while you were bored in class. You did have the strength and luckily for you, it still worked.

When Eddie made no move to give your pen back, you figured he didn’t believe you so you added, “The ink is pink, right?”

Eddie continued to stare at you, mouth slightly parted in awe, and you suddenly felt very nervous, glancing behind you to see if there was something that caught his attention but all you could see were the empty lawns.

“What?”

He finally blinked, licking his lips again.

“You’re a really good liar.”

“What?” You repeated, this time your question was laced more so with confusion than panic. He was right, but why was he saying that?

His lips slowly parted up at the corners until he was grinning at you so wide, his dimples were showing and you could feel your heart beating wildly against your rib cage, as if it was trying to break free to fly right over to him.

“This is your pen?”

“Yes!” Is that what his happiness was about? That he was holding your prized pen hostage?

“This is your pen?” You could tell he was having fun at your expense now, getting more giddy by the minute.

“Yes!” You laughed out, his joy contagious even if he was teasing you with your own belongings. “That is my pen. Give me my pen!”

He clicked it closed with his thumb, “I found it where we hold Hellfire sessions, same pen that was used to write my love note.”

And just like that, your heartbeat seemed to stop all together, smile dropping instantly as you wished a giant hole could form in the ground below you and swallow you up.

“That’s not my pen,” you denied, shrugging off his jacket as you quickly rose to your feet. “I gotta go, bye, Eddie.”

When you saw him starting to hastily rise, you bolted, literally running back into the house to try to find Heather and get the hell out of there.

You heard Eddie frantically calling your name but you didn’t stop, forcing your way through the bodies as you desperately searched for your best friend.

Luck was finally on your side because you were soon smashed into her back by a passing group.

“Whoa,” she laughed, turning to steady you, “There you are, I’ve been searching for you everywh—hey, what’s wrong?”

You were sure she must have noticed the panic on your face, eyes shiny with tears you refused to let fall in public.

“I wanna go home, we have to leave.” You grabbed her hand, pulling her into a secluded corner as your head darted in the direction of the front door. You wanted to make a run for it but you feared running into Eddie on the way.

“What happened?” Heather asked, voice initially soft before hardening as her protective nature came out, “Did someone do something?”

You shook your head, chest heaving with your breaths. You were so close to having a panic attack.

“Eddie. He knows. He knows, Heather.” And because she was your best friend, she understood, mouth and eyes going wide.

“Holy crap. Wait—isn’t this what you wanted?”

“No—yes—I don’t know! I can’t face him!” There was a reason you hadn’t written your name down on the note, regardless of how badly you wanted to. You were just scared.

“Why not?” She bent down, leaned in closer to hear you. This girl and her twenty questions.

“It doesn’t matter, he didn’t want it to be me, anyways. He would’ve asked earlier, and he only did it now because of that stupid pen!” You should have kept your mouth shut and just gone to buy another over the weekend, “Can we just please get out of here? We can try the side gate in the backyard.”

“Is Eddie looking for you?”

“Yes, that’s why we have to leave!” Whatever Eddie had to say, you didn’t want to hear it. Yeah, maybe he could want you but if he didn’t, was searching for you to let you down gently you’d be heartbroken.

“He knows and you don’t think he wanted it to be you?”

“Yes!”

“Then why would he be looking for you?”

You refused to answer her, pushing her towards the back door instead. She went willingly for a few steps, then Heather stopped and you bumped into her back again as she craned her neck to look over her shoulder.

“I think it's too late for that.” She pointed at something behind you and you followed her finger.

Eddie was standing on top of the kitchen table a bunch of guys had carried into the living room to play beer pong on, eyes searching the room with his lips set in a frown.

He was attracting attention, a multitude of heads turning to peer up at him in curiosity.

Oh, god. He was looking for you, you were probably going to get rejected at a fucking Valentine’s Day party in some stranger’s living room.

Eddie must have caught the attention of someone near the sound system because the volume of the music was lowered and you could hear everyone muttering amongst themselves, asking what had happened to the music before they noticed Eddie.

He glanced around, not even a little nervous at the amount of people staring at him. He hadn’t planned on making a huge show of it, figured they were all too drunk to pay him any attention, luckily he was used to being a spectacle.

Eddie used it to his advantage, calling out your full name.

The crowd muttered, everyone looking at each other in confusion or maybe trying to catch sight of you.

It wasn’t long before someone recognized you, head turning in your direction, followed by many more—a domino effect—until just about everyone was staring at you, including Eddie.

He hopped off the table and made his way towards you, crowd parting to allow him. Heather slipped her hand into yours at your side, giving you a reassuring squeeze before she too stepped away, leaving you to finally face Eddie.

Eddie didn’t look at anyone else, gaze trained solely on you.

“Hi, again.”

You blinked, unable to keep yourself from glancing at the crowd around you, curious—nosey—to see what would happen next.

Guess you were going to have to finally face reality, no more running. You didn’t think you could break through the crowd, anyways.

“Hi,” you whispered but you knew Eddie had heard you, his lips pursed into a smile, eyes lighting up when you didn’t shut down.

“You ran away before I could tell you how I feel.” Eddie took another step, pretty much invading your personal space but he was desperate to be close to you and maybe body block you in case you tried to flee. He didn’t want you to run away again, to disappear like he feared you had when you hadn’t left your name on the note.

“It’s only fair, right? Since I know?”

You nodded again, the drum of your heartbeat loud in your ears. You were surprised you could hear Eddie over it.

Eddie stared down at you, lips pressed into a thin line, but he didn’t look upset or frustrated. It looked like he was thinking about something.

Little did you know he was reciting the note in his head to give him some courage, he’d memorized it.

He didn’t leave you waiting for long.

“I admire you. A lot.” Your breath hitched as the words you’d jotted down were repeated to you, “So much that I want to stand on expensive looking, antique tables and crash parties for you. I like the way you get animated when you talk, the way you give into your intrusive thoughts at the most random of times—yeah, I saw you trying to see if your finger fit in the pencil sharpener in the library once—I like how kind you are, even when people don’t deserve it.

“I like how you’ve never made me feel ostracized, never made anybody feel like that and I like how dramatic you are—storming off, making an exit, falling flat on your face in hallways then staying there like a dead body before you decide to reanimate again once you’re done being embarrassed. I like how you beat up your locker when it won’t open and then you give it a couple of pats to apologize once it finally does.”

Eddie chuckled at those particular memories, having been thoroughly amused when watching you and you feel your face get hot at being the cause of his cute laugh.

“And I really like your face, your pretty eyes, all of this,” Eddie gestured to you, to all of you from head to toe, “… you’re beautiful. Although, I gotta say, you drove me really fucking crazy today. Made me feel emotions I didn’t know I was capable of feeling and you scared the shit out of me when I thought I’d never get to know who the person I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with is.”

Okay, maybe you didn’t want the ground to swallow you whole.

“I know we only have a couple of months left of school and you’re probably going off to continue being amazing at some college in some big city a million miles away—‘cause that’s my luck—but I’m willing to work with that. I want to drive those million miles to give you flowers and hold your hand, kiss you, listen to you complain about your bad days, hear you brag about your good ones, kill all the bugs you’re afraid of—even though some of them freak me out, you make me feel brave, too—and just be all around disgustingly domestic with you.

“And yes, that includes all the not so fun domestic stuff like fights—which we’ll get over, I’ll do just about anything, even cave first, if you give me those big, coy eyes of yours—and taxes. I want to do it all with you. If you’ll have me.” Eddie ended, eyes wide and just a little out of breath.

There it was. He’d thrown it all out there, everything he wanted to offer (because he wanted to give you everything, even though it kind of terrified him).

And you—you were just staring at him, left to gape at him since you’d expected… well, you hadn’t really known what to expect since you usually ran from the consequences—be they good or bad—of your actions.

He wanted to be with you. Holy crap, Eddie Munson wanted to be your boyfriend. Wanted to do boyfriend things like visit you at college and hold your hand. You’d thought, the whole time, it had just been you observing him. You never thought he’d be observing you, too. It all sounded too good to be true, you couldn’t really think, couldn’t really form words.

You didn’t have to, Eddie grew anxious, maybe even a little impatient despite having decided the moment you’d run away from him in the front yard that he’d chase after you for as long as it took him to get you to give him a chance.

He found himself blurting out his strongest desire, “Can I kiss you?”

This was it, you were faced with another opportunity, and this one was the actual last opportunity you had to tell him how you feel, without any anonymity. No more hiding, no more running.

“Yeah,” you breathed out and he was on you before you’d even finished saying that singular word, his surprisingly soft lips pressing desperately against yours as his hands moved to frame your face, one of his thumbs stroking along your cheek.

Your eyelids fluttered shut as you returned the kiss and just like that, what he intended to be a simple but firm kiss, turned into your lips moving against each other, a little wet and enough to have Eddie want to pop his leg up like in the fucking movies.

The only reason he kept himself from introducing his tongue to yours like he so badly wanted to was the sounds of encouragement around him; cheering and hollering. You broke away, having also heard your peers whooping and wolf whistling, to hide your face in his chest, bashfulness returning full force.

Eddie laughed and kissed the top of your head, unable to contain his grin and joy. He definitely wasn’t used to this, more accustomed to jeering, not cheering. A couple of people even clapped him on the shoulder.

“You know what, I think they’re rooting for us, sweetheart.”

You pulled away just enough to look up at him, offering a small, pleased smile of your own.

“They’re not the only ones.”

Well, he had to give you some tongue for that one. The cheering and sounds of excitement got louder as he did.

— You hadn’t walked into school hand in hand with Eddie when Monday came around—though you’d spent pretty much the entire weekend with him, driving around town, lounging around your room (he’d come in through your window) and making out—he hadn’t mentioned anything about meeting up in the parking lot and you weren’t offended in the slightest. While you wanted to see him, you appreciated the extra time to calm your excited nerves before you did.

Heather ran up to you the second you made it to your locker, grin stretching from ear to ear.

“I still can’t believe it. It didn’t even happen to me and I’m pinching myself because of how romantic it was!”

“Imagine how I feel,” You were all smiles as you turned the combination for your locker. But of course, since it was openly known as one of, if not, the shittiest of lockers in the school—having belonged to several wrestlers and football players before you, who’d evidently cared for it on the rough side—it didn't budge when you tugged at it.

You wouldn’t miss it when you graduated.

With a sigh, you pulled the straps of your backpack off of your shoulders and handed it to Heather. Then, you yanked aggressively at the small locker handle. It was your routine though, so you knew it wouldn’t open then, either. It was only when you slammed your fist against it, after all the yanking, that it opened.

Roses immediately flooded out of it, piling onto the ground at your feet. You and Heather watched with open mouths, glancing at passersby, who also looked on in surprise, until your stuffed locker finally finished its floral avalanche.

“Like ‘em?”

You jumped up, and then internally scolded yourself for almost trampling a couple of your flowers. You carefully twisted around to face Eddie, who was leaning back against the row of lockers behind you, smug smirk on his handsome face.

“Yeah, what are all of these for?” You asked, still marveling at them as he pushed himself off the lockers to wrap his arms around your middle and press a kiss to the side of your head.

“I realized I never got to ask you to be my Valentine or give you flowers. So, I bought some Saturday morning,” They were on sale so he’d gone purposely overboard, “used my uncle’s collection of mugs as vases to keep them alive, then woke up at the asscrack of dawn this morning to get here before you did. I probably broke your locker even more, by the way. So, be my Valentine?”

“I’m pretty sure it was part of the terms and agreements of our relationship, but yes. I’ll be your Valentine.”

Eddie closed your locker for you, pressing his weight against it to make sure it was secure and no more roses would escape before he scooped up the ones that had fallen out, arranging them into a large bouquet which he handed to you, leaning in to give you a kiss.

You hummed happily against his lips, nose wrinkling in glee when you felt him smile.

Eddie let out a content sigh when you parted before glancing to his side at your gawking best friend.

“Hey, Heather.” Eddie wasn’t at all bothered by the audience. “Nice shoes.”

“Thanks! They’re new. You done sucking face?”

“For now,” he promised, then turned his attention back to you. “I’ll see you later, beautiful. I’ve got a test to barely pass. Gotta make sure I walk that stage with you.”

Eddie pinched your cheek, pressed another kiss to your forehead and rushed off down the hall. You’d barely locked eyes with Heather when Eddie came running back, taking your face in his hands as he muttered something about one more and gave you a kiss that had you a little shaky on your feet.

‘One more’ actually turned out to mean a couple more pecks before he really forced himself away, blowing you a kiss just as he disappeared around the corner.

“He’s whipped,” Heather stated.

“Pretty sure I’m falling in love with him.”

“That’s appropriate.” You both nodded before you turned to face your closed locker, arms full of sweet smelling roses.

“. . . You still need to get your books, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Heather slid her arms through the straps of your backpack, over her front, so she could hold your flowers for you as you prepared to battle your locker again. It was totally worth it.

─

Eddie never ended up giving you your pen back, it’s the one he used to write love letters to you while you were away at college.

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ilikekidsshows · 1 year ago

Text

The Totally Spies-ification of Adrien

Okay, it's been long enough that I can actually discuss how Adrien's slavery is depicted in the show without anger-fueled exaggerations and hyperbole. I want to discuss how Miraculous treats Adrien's slavery very flippantly and how it is, like everything in this show post-retool, all about Marinette. The show has a lot of stuff that hints that the writers intend for Adrien to be viewed a very certain way. I believe the writers made Adrien a slave for Marinette’s benefit and I will explain how I came to this conclusion.

I’ve joked before about how Astruc has worked on Totally Spies, “one of the kinkiest cartoons ever made”. I’d like to tackle this idea and how it relates to Miraculous more seriously. I’d like to tackle the topic of titillation and how it relates to how this show approaches slavery with such flippancy. My claim is that Adrien being a slave is not meant to be horrifying, which is why the story doesn't treat it as such; it's meant to be titillating.

I usually don't use Read Mores, since they can lead to broken links later, but this is really long. Strap in, folks.

Titillation for the context of this analysis means “content with the intention to excite romantically or sexually”, basically it’s about “kinky” stuff. The purpose of talking about sexuality in relation to Miraculous is not to paint the writers as some kind of fiends, but to present the fact that many teenagers are curious about romance and sex and will think about sex unprompted. This means titillating content in cartoons doesn’t even need to be related to sex to be titillating. And Astruc has a history of putting titillating stuff in his work, with Totally Spies being a very notable example of how you can include non-sexual titillating content in a kids’ show.

It all comes down to expected audience reactions. Adrien is meant to be sexy. I don’t mean that in a ��the writers think this is sexy” way, but a “the writers think the projected audience of straight teenage girls will think this is sexy” way. He gets put into bondage three times in ‘Copycat’, ‘Anti-Bug’ and ‘Reverser’ and all three times the camera seems to like to show him off. He is meant to be an object of attraction for the audience. The people criticizing this show have been pointing out how Ladybug's costume accentuates her butt for years, but this is not something that occurs with just Ladybug. When he isn't posing for the viewers, Cat Noir gets whacked around by Akuma’s a lot, but a lot of the time it ends with him in a prone position that is also titillating, in ‘Pixelator’ it goes as far as having his butt jut out. However, the idea that Cat Noir is the one who gets hit when an Akuma needs to show off how dangerous they are is also part of the power dynamic where Marinette or Ladybug gets to show off, so it’s not purely for titillation, which is why other examples, like ‘Stormy Weather’ are more comedic.

It’s likely that Adrien-as-Adrien doesn’t get to participate in the show’s slapstick much, since that aspect of the character is presented as the perfect beauty, a role usually reserved for female characters who only ever get a little bit flustered or banged up to make sure they keep looking attractive. Marinette screams "waack" and runs face first into a wall in the same episode where the silliest thing Adrien gets to do is sneeze (Mr Pigeon). Adrien is meant to be attractive, sexy, titillating, in different ways in his different forms. As Cat Noir he is more active and more sexy, as Adrien he’s more passive and pretty, much like how female love interests can fall into these categories. It’s the Betty and Veronica dichotomy; in the Archie franchise Betty and Veronica are shown as the wholesome and sexy romance options and the reason the writers go out of their way not to resolve the love triangle is to keep the appeal of these both options going. People’s tastes differ, so it would alienate some audiences to pick one over the other. With Miraculous they solved the problem by having the two romance options be the different identities of a single character.

Frankly, as of the season five finale, Adrien is approaching “sexy lamp” levels of replicating sexist ways of writing a female character but just changing the gender. What else do you call him lying on the floor in despair while his love interest gets his superpowers and uses them to beat up his abusive father, while somehow being perfectly fine and happily kissing Marinette later after said father is dead and gone? Adrien’s trauma is debilitating when it serves the writers’ purposes, but stops being a problem as soon as they need him to smile and look pretty. The main reason Adrien’s trauma is so inconsistent is so that he can act as Marinette’s trophy so that Marinette has somebody to kiss in the final shot. If Adrien was despairing about not being good enough for her, or grossly crying about being an orphan, Marinette wouldn’t have a fun time kissing him. And if Marinette isn’t having fun, the members of the audience projecting onto her aren’t having fun either.

Speaking of how Adrien’s depiction relates to Marinette, here comes the controversial part of this post: while Marinette is not depicted as a literal slave owner in-story, narratively, she is very much treated as Adrien's owner from a meta perspective. We, the viewers, are meant to see Adrien as Marinette's property, and the twist of Adrien being a part of a slave race in a dynamic where Marinette holds all the cards is meant to be a good thing. We have been primed to view everything about Adrien to actually be about Marinette, because Marinette is the center of the universe of Miraculous and Adrien belongs to her because he’s the main character’s love interest. Adrien being revealed to be a slave that Marinette could control but then chooses to “merely” manipulate is meant to be glorifying to Marinette and titillating to the viewer. I will elaborate.

Marinette has been incredibly possessive of Adrien since day one and she is only occasionally depicted as being in the wrong about this, when she goes too far by the show’s standards. She stalks Lila and Adrien whenever she sees them hanging out together and she’s unreasonably jealous of Kagami. The only time she is depicted as being in the wrong is not when she's sniffing Adrien's pillow after breaking into his room, but when she actually bullies Kagami out of jealousy, and even that is depicted as more of an unfortunate misunderstanding than Marinette actively doing something wrong. Marinette is more sympathetic towards Kagami when she finds out she and Adrien aren't as close as she thought, that Kagami’s pursuit of Adrien is more hopeless than hers. Basically, Marinette is only in the wrong because Kagami isn't a threat, not because she was doing anything wrong by bullying her to defend her “territory”.

This gets flipped near the end of the season, though. When Adrien and Kagami do start dating, it's depicted as this big tragedy even more so than Master Fu losing his memories. Master Fu going missing is an afterthought, while Adrien choosing someone else over Marinette is the big “darkest hour” moment of the season three mid-finale, the cliffhanger moment of her crying in Luka’s arms while all hope is lost. Marinette isn’t directly crying about this, she is crying from “all the pressure”, but Marinette breaking down happens immediately after a scene of Kagami leaning in to kiss Adrien that has a somber dirge playing in the background. The first part of the finale has everything going wrong at the end; Master Fu is missing, Chloé gets willingly Akumatized, Marinette breaks down, and Kagami leans in to kiss Adrien. These scenes being put closely together is telling us that these are all bad things to happen.

Adrien ending up with Marinette is a given, but it's also taken for granted. Every girl with an interest in Adrien is depicted as an antagonist, while Marinette can do whatever she wants in pursuit of Adrien and will still be morally correct. Chloé and Lila, even Kagami to a degree, are villainized for their attraction to Adrien in a way Nathaniel, Luka or Zoé are not with their attraction to Marinette. Chloé and Lila are full-blown villains while Luka and Zoé are some of the most selfless members of the cast. Kagami is aggressive and socially awkward in a way that is used to justify Marinette's initial distrust and dislike of her (in ‘Ikari Gozen’ Alya voices her pity towards Marinette for having to spend time with her) while Nathaniel is just the pitiful bullied loner who’s still a liked member of the class friend group. Girls who want Adrien are bad for trespassing on Marinette’s territory and trying to “steal” something that “belongs” to Marinette.

The writers thinking Adrien belongs to Marinette is also not just subtext. Later in season five, when Marinette and Adrien finally start dating, Marinette even outright states that Adrien “kinda does a little” belong to her when she’s scared that Zoé has a crush on him. The fumbling of the line means that the writers are aware of how toxic it is to consider your partner your property, but they want to include that sentiment anyway, because that’s how they view the situation. Marinette’s boyfriend is her property and other people can’t even look at her property. ‘Emotion’ continues on this increased possessiveness by having the entire Marinette plot happen because she can’t conceive Adrien keeping things from her, because he isn’t allowed privacy from her while Marinette lying to Adrien (or Cat Noir) is a show staple.

This same attitude of Adrien not being allowed to have romantic options outside of Marinette has also been in the fandom for years. Every time a new female character was introduced, there was a worry that she’d “try to steal Adrien from Marinette”. Marinette and Adrien are endgame, the writers know this and the fandom knows this. The characters don't know this, but it doesn't matter because Adrien was already seen as Marinette's (future) boyfriend even back in season one when he barely knew her. And this attitude the writers and audience have is extended to the characters more and more as the show goes on, as almost every single character becomes an Adrinette shipper in support of Marinette in season five, while no one thinks to ask Adrien what he thinks about this. Only once, in ‘Desperada’ did Alya suggest that Adrien could make his own choice on who to date, but it was implied the choice should be Marinette specifically (Marinette smiles at this, while Kagami frowns). The cast is lucky the writers have decided Adrien already is Marinette's, or he’d be really uncomfortable.

Season five episode ‘Pretension’ goes as far with this as having Marinette basically ask Gabriel for permission to be with Adrien, convinced that she and Adrien can be together with no problems if she can just get him to approve of her. And then Gabriel tells her he’s promised Adrien to Kagami. You know, like a piece of property women were treated as before women were allowed to live without a man to control them. The finale then ultimately does have Gabriel agree to hand Adrien over to Marinette by dying and leaving her in charge of Adrien. Just because she uses the privilege to do some things for Adrien’s benefit doesn’t make what happened any less of a patriarchal transaction. In fact, the writers wrote it that way on purpose, with the knight and princess parallels they set up between Marinette and Adrien earlier in the show being something they are prominently proud of (the “reverse fairytale” as they put it). Adrien is the princess the dashing hero Marinette gets to earn with her feats of bravery; he’s handed to her like a piece of property and Marinette is too happy with her acquisition to even be outraged on Adrien’s behalf. And Adrien wasn’t even allowed to know about any of this, instead it gets handled solely between Marinette and Gabriel, like his opinion on the matter didn’t even matter. And why would his opinion matter, since he already is ready to promise himself to Marinette, even as the writers deny him the agency to actually make such a promise.

The goal of making it obvious that Adrien is cool with being objectified like this is probably why they make Adrien so obsessed with Marinette in season five, constantly repeating her name to himself and saying stuff like: “I can’t stop thinking about you” in ‘Pretension’. They need to drive it home to the audience exactly how okay Adrien is with everyone forcing him to be with Marinette. After all, you can’t force the willing. As of ‘Confrontation’, Adrien’s official goals for the future are: “I love Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” I guess, from the perspective of the writers, the childhood dream of wanting to be what his parents wanted from ‘Wishmaker’ wasn’t sad because of Adrien’s lack of agency; it was sad because he wasn’t forsaking all of his personal pursuits for Marinette specifically. As far as the writers are concerned, Adrien should only care about Marinette and nothing else.

This same entitlement is also present in Ladybug and Cat Noir's relationship. Every time Cat Noir is upset with Ladybug, like in Frozer, Glaciator, Syren, The New York Special or even Kuro Neko, they never talk about what caused it. This is especially blatant in cases where Ladybug has wronged Cat Noir personally, like Kuro Neko or the NY Special, where she never has to face up to what she did wrong because Cat Noir comes back because she “needs him”. Cat Noir will always come back to her without her having to do anything because she is the main character and she says she needs him. He exists for her and her needs. He exists for her; it’s just another way he’s hers.

Speaking of how Adrien is treated affects Marinette, even Adrien’s trauma actually belongs to her in the writing. I pointed out earlier that Adrien’s trauma shows up when the writers need to put him out of commission, but disappears as soon as he needs to be Marinette’s trophy, but it goes further than just inconsistency. The early seasons spend several episodes on how Adrien is being locked up by his father and unable to hang out with his friends and, between him and Marinette, Marinette is the one shown to be more upset and hurt by this. They don’t do this in every episode, as ‘The Bubbler’ actually does a phenomenal job of making Adrien’s upset actually about him, but the big point in ‘Glaciator’ is that Marinette is so upset that she can’t see Adrien that she accidentally leaves Cat Noir on read so he’s upset about that. Adrien is only upset because he didn’t get attention from Marinette, while Adrien’s literal abuse at the hands of his father is only important because it makes Marinette upset. Even Adrien himself gets in on this action in ‘Conformation’ when the writers go as far as having Adrien chastise himself of not being more worthy of Marinette’s love when his dad is once again busy ruining his life. Even Adrien himself makes his abuse about Marinette; him being abused is bad because it’s inconveniencing Marinette and inconveniencing Marinette makes him less worthy of her.

‘Cat Blanc’ is possibly the worst offender of all, though. This episode should be all about how Adrien is abused by Gabriel, culminating with Gabriel turning him into a monster that destroys the world. And yet, what is the episode actually about? It’s about Marinette. The worst thing that could happen to Adrien is about Marinette. Only Marinette gets to remember or even know about the possibility of Cat Noir getting Akumatized and only Marinette is traumatized by it happening. After all that the writers later dare to use this event that didn’t actually happen anymore, that Adrien doesn’t know about, to justify him giving his powers to Marinette, because he’s “scared of getting Akumatized” when something like that has never happened as far as he knows. But the writers had him reason this way anyway, because apparently the culmination of Marinette’s character development in the show means taking Adrien’s power as her own and then failing to win even with that at her disposal.

Another note about ‘The Bubbler’ that has to be pointed out is that it’s also the first example of Marinette being presented as good for Adrien simply because she treats him better than Gabriel. The final scene of Marinette giving Adrien his best birthday present yet and letting him think it comes from Gabriel is done to show how selfless Marinette is by letting Adrien keep thinking good things about his abuser. This idea that Marinette is morally good simply because she’s better than pond scum Gabriel is also present in the season five finale, where Marinette manipulates, gaslights and keeps important information from her abused slave boyfriend. Marinette is presented as being in the right because at least she didn’t literally control him with a magical geas like Gabriel did and gave him the object with which to do so (while notably not telling him what it does). Marinette will do the bare minimum of not taking literal ownership of Adrien and we’re meant to see her as a paragon of goodness for it, while she still has no respect for Adrien’s autonomy and hasn’t had any since the show started.

The way the Sentimonster “reveal” is handled shows this utter lack of respect for Adrien’s autonomy that the writers, and Marinette by extension, have. The reveal is not for Adrien, but for Marinette, just like every other piece of Adrien has been made to be about Marinette. Marinette gets to know and she gets to decide if Adrien gets to know, and she decides “no”. She will manipulate him and lie to him to keep him happy for herself, she will keep important information about him to herself that he might never find out if anything happens to her, because Adrien is hers and no one else’s and she has the right to make that decision because the world revolves around her because the world of Miraculous was created to be her playground. “Adrien” is just a toy on that playground for Marinette to play with as the writers see fit.

Now we’re coming back to Adrien’s role as the sexy, titillating love interest character that I talked about at the start of this essay. If Marinette granting Adrien the bare minimum of freedoms as a slave while manipulating him “for his own good” is meant to be a good thing, why is Adrien even a slave? Well, outside of the writers wanting to add a plot twist that doesn’t come with any messy plot they’d have to write about characters other than Marinette, Adrien being a slave is also meant to be titillating. What really is magical super slavery than very, very off the wall bondage and power play stuff? The idea that Marinette could rob her love interest of his free will with ease but won’t because she cares about him so much is very empowering in two different ways. It gives Marinette all the power in the relationship and it makes her out to be such a good person that even having ultimate power over another person won’t corrupt her. Adding to that, we have Adrien’s people pleaser abuse victim personality, which makes him fawn over the people he loves. If Marinette ever wanted to have control over Adrien, Adrien would give it to her of his own volition, no need for magical super slavery or unbreakable geases.

As I stated earlier, Marinette is meant to be the point of view main character the audience of teen girls projects themselves onto. So, really, Adrien’s slavery and abuse responses are all about that fantasy of having a cute boy you have all the power over but not needing to use it because the boy is so nice and devoted to you anyway. Adrien really is “perfect”, the perfect object of attraction, a being who technically has free will but whose free will you never have to take into account because he’s been designed and trained to value other people’s wants and needs over his own.

Marinette doesn't literally own Adrien within the story, but the writers make it very clear that they think she should. In fact, in all ways except the literal, she already does.

#ml critical #ml writing critical #miraculous ladybug critical #ml meta #ml salt #zagulous fandom #adrien agreste #just like with my 'adrien gets disrespected' post none of these things would be THAT bad by themselves #but it's this much stuff all at once

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headingalaxys-spicy · 5 months ago

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About citizenship post what if they don't know they're being used

How about they get married and after darling get citizenship she wants to divorce them?

I’ll be frank right now, dear reader: YOU AIN’T getting that divorce.

But let’s break down how that happens. (Also probably not my best work but here we go. I didn’t want this sitting in my ask box forever in purgatory)

America

You’re going to have to be a stellar actor/actress because that's a facade that will be difficult to maintain if you don’t love him. He does demand a lot of affection from you & just because he’s bubbly most of the time does not mean he lacks a bullshit detector.

Alfred will want to know what's up & why you’re being so cold towards him. If you’re unable to dispel his doubts, he’ll know that divorce is a possible outcome. Before you can even get to that, he’s going to play mind with you. He will be hot & cold. Alfred will say offhanded and unprompted things like:

“You know it's a shame that this one married partner here wasn’t able to naturalize since they divorced so soon… & it was later found out the marriage was fraudulent.” A playful hand wandered up your arm as he got close to your ear and said:

“Then they were arrested and deported.”

That sent fire to your ears. Fear rushes into your heart, making it run at high speed. An ice bucket splashed over your head, sending a shockwave down your spine.

‘Deported?’ Not after all of your hard work….effort…and being able to manage a man while fun to be around; you knew he had a terrifying underneath even though he doesn’t usually let it show.

“Living with you is like a daydream Y/N. I never want it to end.” As he places pointed kisses at your cheek.

He’s toying with you. Making sure you stay on edge.

If you do somehow manage to fool him long enough to get divorce papers served to him….OOOOOHHHH boy, there will be hell to pay. You’re going to be hunted down. Your lawyer who assisted you will be given an undisclosed sum to throw your case out & forget they ever met you.

England

When the papers have been served Arthur’s blood will be boiling like the water he uses to make his tea.

There are many factors to the visas but I’ll stick with the two that are the most important.

The Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) & the Spouse Visa.

You have to obtain the Spouse Visa first before you can obtain the (ILR) status.

Your ability to stay will be dependent on your marriage, and he will make sure that you don’t even know what your (ILR) status is. Arthur has always liked having the upper hand. He’ll maintain it by monitoring you constantly.

There will be trackers in your car, and he will keep close eyes on your browsing history, credit/debit card transactions, etc. He may even lightly interrogate you over afternoon tea if he feels you are beginning to stray away from him. Since you’re in a different country from all of your close bonds (friends, family, co-workers, etc.), isolation is relatively easy. He’s also going to demand that you spend more time with him so that the relationship can work. Depleting most if not all social time with others you have in England. You won’t have time to build bonds to talk to others and maybe catch red flags that would go unnoticed.

You will be blamed for any of the issues you have within your marriage or your feelings will be undermined.

“Y/N darling! You’re overreacting! It’s just a cat! We can always get another! You smothered it too much that’s why it’s run off!” He’ll kiss your forehead in an attempt to comfort you and then continue to tell you why you’re weak and failing to uphold your part in the marriage. Of course, he’s not going to take responsibility for the short comings in the relationship; that’s what he’s married you for.

And if you try to run away: Congrats his secret agents will be all over you within mere hours. It won’t be long till you’re brought back to him. Then it will be a long time before you see the light of day ever again.

France

He’d done all that he could so that getting a “visa de long sejour valant titre de sejour” (VLS-TS) was seamless & easy for you. Francis also ensured that you were aware of the renewal dates, had the money you needed, insurance, and whatever demands the French government had in order for you to stay in his country, he ensured you could meet them exceptionally. So when he receives divorce papers on his desk…tears, apologies, fancy dinners, flowers, and make-up sex will be among his first line of defense to make you stay.

Francis will do anything for you to reconsider your decision to divorce.

He will interrogate you on what he’s not doing right.

Was their a habit that he had that displeased you? He can change!

Is it his performance in bed? He can do better! He can learn!

Not enough kisses to the neck and cheeks? He can do more!

What is it? He NEEDS to know!

Francis will corner you in the kitchen as you’re making your morning coffee.

“Y/N please….” He approaches you from behind and brings you into a hug. “What has made you this way? What did I do? Was it something I said?”

Francis is going to want to get to the bottom of what made you want the divorce. He will force you into couples therapy. Yes, it will be a therapist who has some unscrupulous morals. They’ll tell you why you should stay together and how the two of you are “Perfect” and “Soul Mates”. The therapist will gloss over any complaints you may have during the session & that you be okay with Francis’ Yandere tendencies.

Germany

12-Weeks, like all the others, is how long it will take to obtain your visa. You’d been fully integrated into his structured lifestyle that he’s slightly adjusted to accommodate you. Normally, he’s up at 5 am to go for his early morning jog to 6 am. He will help you make coffee just so you’d be able to get more accustomed to being up so early.

Since you must function within his rigid structure, you’ll have to be sneaky in various ways.

Emotionally, it's the delicate way you treat him, take care of him, make promises you keep or don’t keep, and hug and kiss him that matters. If subtle changes compound over time, he will inquire about them at some point if he feels that the changes have become too great. He will interrogate you about it while you’re vulnerable, like in his lap, and he has a death grip on your thighs.

Physically, I know I mentioned hugging and kissing already, but how intentional, how often, and how much passion there is? He will notice the lack when it comes to you not feeling it in bed. He will pause in whatever the two of you are doing & will ask “What’s wrong Y/N?” while his stony cold blues will pierce your eyes. If you don’t have a satisfactory answer you will be handcuffed to the bed as he will search the room for evidence of infidelity & divorce papers.

#hetalia fandom #hetalia ask blog #headingalaxys writes stuff #yandere hetalia #ヘタリア #divorce #yandere x darling #x reader #hetalia x reader #hetalia x you #yandere hetalia x reader #headingalaxys spicy #hws america #hws germany #hws england

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daredevils-advocate · 1 month ago

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Speaking of the numerals love languages. Would you please walk us through iv's next? I think his might be touch too. I was reminded how insane him leaning himself on people makes me after you wrote 'he is using ii as a head rest' 😭

Bet!

Okay, so I absolutely see where you're coming from with Ivy possibly also having touch as his love language, and I can absolutely see that argument being made for all of them. But I'm gonna expand on this post a bit and show you why I think it's actually gift giving.

Once again, not my photos, credit to original owners <3

Fan gifts

So like I pointed out in my previous post, IV is the one most likely to pick up/use a fan gift. He's constantly taking things from the crowd or picking up tossed things (I repeat, don't throw shit on stage.) And I don't think it's a coincidence that even when III or Ves are the ones to pick things up and wear it, it's probably going to end up with IV anyway. He loves receiving those little presents and the others make sure he gets them

Even when he's not supposed to be taking things he ends up with little presents, as we see in these pixels when he picked up this cat ear headband on his way off the stage after it was known that they weren't supposed to accept anything this time.

Signs

Talking about this point because I feel like he would see a sign someone made as a form of gift because even if it's not something he can hold or keep with him, someone still took their time and energy to make it in hopes he'd see it and that's really sweet. If he sees one that catches his eye he almost always points it out and creates a special little moment with the person holding it. Now this one is a little hard to get photo evidence of, but off the top of my head I believe Tank (@/watertankafternoon) [if you see this I just didn't wanna tag you completely unprompted 😅] has talked about their moment with him during Euclid in Budapest and I believe did find a video that someone managed to get of the moment, and you can find many other stories like that about Ivy specifically. Yeah, the others have pointed out signs and things but IV always finds time to make a special little moment about it.

Giving

So this might be my shakiest point because it's kinda hard to give things to each other on stage. Like I said, it seems like when trading around fan gifts, IV seems to be on the receiving end usually, and if he hands it to someone else it tends to happen during backstage intermissions. However, what happened last night in London with the Christmas crackers seems to be possibly my strongest evidence for the claim. When III started bringing them out, just walking up and opening them with people, I know I saw clips of him doing it with IV and the Espera but I'm not sure how often he actually pulled them out, but he lost every time and was getting more and more disappointed with it. Up until Rain, when IV was the one who approached him with a cracker I'm fairly certain was rigged in III's favor. You can tell he's barely holding onto the end. He could tell III was getting agitated with not winning and gave him one he couldn't lose. He makes his little gifts count.

So here's my evidence on IV's love language being gift giving

#might go ahead and just make one of these little presentations on iii and ves after work #since y'all are so interested in my thought process here #sleep token #sleep token iv #dare rambles

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neechees · 1 year ago

Text

Signs that a scam might be run by Laura Deramas & her common behaviors:

So as we know, that despite making herself famous as one of the most deranged, notorious scammers & perpetual liars on tumblr, its likely that Laura Deramas hasn't actually gone away, and is likely running several scams at any given moment at tumblr, as she's admitted to running multiple (on both twitter AND tumblr) not long ago. With these, we've seen her frequently have the same patterns of behavior on pretty much all of her scams, be it when she's using her own name & face, or someone else's (& she frequently uses other Filipinos' info, but she has racefaked or pretended to be different sexualities/genders/ethnicities multiple times as well).

So with that in mind, in addition to the usual red flag lists for scammers (ex: new blog suddenly asking for money, spamming asks, turns off /hides replies, changes url multiple times suddenly, etc), below are some common red flags to look for in "donation" posts/blogs that indicate this blog is likely a scam and specifically being run by Laura for the following behaviors:

She tries to send you a video or photos of some kind of a flood, a fire, or an old house in poor condition, but usually there's no proof that this is HER or her family's house, that it's HER footage, that it's not old, or that she actually lives there, and she never shows her (or the posters', whoever she's pretending to be) face. This means that the footage is most likely stolen, she isn't actually affected by that situation, & she's trying to pass it off as her own footage.

Uses the phrase "please, sir/maam" a lot. And i don't just mean saying "maam" to women & then "sir" to men, I mean as in sending everyone an ask/message with the phrase, quote, "sir/ma'am" unquote regardless of your gender

Is new to tumblr but somehow knows exactly which popular users to ask to reblog their donation posts, and usually they're Black. They may also target people who were previously victims of Laura's scams.

The user asks you to talk off of tumblr, especially if it's facebook.

The user is reluctant to give out their paypal and doesn't list it on their donation post. They may also use a knockoff fundraising site.

She starts showing you photos of things like a sad family or broken down house unprompted (or on her sockpuppet scam accounts, she uses stolen photos specifically instead) and starts talking about how much she's "suffering", often even if you've never interacted with her on her blog. She does this to manipulate people into feeling bad for her and will often repeatedly harass people this way.

She uses the ❤😩 😭🥺🙏 emojis approximately 50,000 times every sentence. Obviously that's a bit of an exagerration, but her scams DO use these a LOT. Her tumblr asks tend to also use a combination of these specific emojis when asking people for money or to reblog their donation post/scams, especially the crying & praying emojis.

Asks you to make or boost a donation post for her on other sites like twitter or instagram

Will allege that she can't speak English very well, but is only using English for her donation posts. She uses this lil nugget a lot in her other scam personas where she's pretending to be someone else, including ones she's literally admitted to. Laura can actually speak English very well. She's also used this even for accounts where her scamsona allegedly speaks a language that is widely spoken & has their own large presence on tumblr (like French or Arabic), so it doesn't make sense that someone who apparently has a lot of trouble with English ONLY uses English for their posts and ONLY follows English speaking users, & will sometimes use a shitty google translate if soneone who's a Native speaker in that language tries to talk to her in that language.

Might say something like "if you have any questions, ask me!" But then as soon as you ask questions that question whether or not its a scam, even if you ask very nicely or don't outright imply you think she's a scammer, (or even ask like. ANY question at all), instead of answering any questions or addressing any allegations or proof she's not genuine, instead she'll redirect, self victimize, and say that you're "attacking" her, and never actually provide any answers to the questions she said she was open to answering.

If you call her out, she'll keep insisting she's not lying, even if you have very explicit, hard proof that she's lying and that you know where she's stolen the "proof" documents from (like vet bills or xrays) or that her information is incorrect. If shes pretending to be someone else & is using someone else's photos and you say you know its actually her (Laura), even if you show HARD evidence that it's a Laura sockpuppet scam account, she'll continue lying and acting as if she doesn't know what youre talking about. She's done this with scams she later admitted to running.

Below under the cut is tactics/behaviors Laura usually displays when she's either been caught, or she's openly using her own name & face. Her scam sockpuppet accounts might do some of these things too, but the ones below are a bit more specific to when she's been caught, has admitted to lying and admits she is Laura behind the account, and/or when she's using her own name and face.

Might bring up her neighbors if you catch her in a lie and say something like "my neighbors will kill me" or being afraid of her neighbors & using that as some kind of excuse related to the lie/scam

If you catch her in a lie, she might say some story about "the police" or something along the lines of "the police" raiding her home or being afraid they will, and she usually brings this up to beg you not to tell other people she's scamming (she's used this story at least 4 different times and she's never been arrested or had any run in with police.) She's counting on people not knowing a lot about the Phillipines or its geography unless you live there (& this is a predominantly American site), so if she makes some claim about a law in the Phillipines, and it sounds wild, look it up, there's a good chance she's bullshitting you.

she'll start begging you to talk to her family via facebook, and specifically facebook, to "prove" shes not lying (note that her family knows she scams & is in on it, and several of her friends are also scammers on here, so they're there to backup her bullshit, but in cases where she's pretending to be someone else, it's likely one of her scammer friends pretending to be the family members of her scam persona to look more legitimate). She doesn't do this as much on her sockpuppet accounts, but if she does also take it to be suspicious.

If caught and Laura admits to it, she might try to discredit scam busters, specifically me, Kyra45, or mangocheesecakes by saying something along the lines of us allegedly being "bullies" or "targeting her for no reason" or that we are "racist" & alleges we only accused her of scamming because she is Filipino (this is incorrect, we accused her of scamming because we have hard proof she is a scammer & has been doing this for at least 3 years, and mangocheesecakes is also Filipino. Laura being Filipino is incidental.). Obviously her goal in doing this is to victimize herself and demonize us with the hopes that people will not believe us, and will donate to her now or her future scams. You're free to be skeptical of us, but if not us then you can ask the dozens of other people Laura has manipulated, harassed, and tricked into helping her to see that shes a serial liar, scammer, and a bully.

#laura deramas #scam #donation scam #scammers #donation scam warning #feel free to add on to anything i missed!

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invaderlazagna · 1 month ago

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(HELLUVA BOSS SPOILERS) ok sooo

We've established that these frames AREN'T from mastermind, which makes me go to other fan theories that have been thrown around these past few months.

We know that stolas has been kicked out of the ars goetia at this point, and that Andre had taken his spot. So blitz and stolas supposedly attempting to break in would most likely be to save/take back Octavia from Stella and her brother's care. (Unlike how we usually thought, that blitz was breaking in to get stolas)

Still we don't know what caused them to go and save her. Well. You know what I mean.

Did they just go and decide to save her? Unprompted? We obviously know that stolas would do anything for his daughter, but it would be seemingly safer for Octavia to be in the castle (idk how to call stolas' house lol) rather than with fugitives.

I think it's much more likely that Octavia sent a message to stolas, to come get her. Or that something had been publicly announced that made them need to go save her

Maybe Stella/andre had been trying to mold her into a more "perfect" mold. Setting her up with other royal guys, which she has no interest in. Making her go to more royal events, to fit the public quota. They might even be attempting to teach her how to do more with the grimoire, which, on another note, andrealphus might not even know how to use, with no (known)training all his life

Or maybe she hadnt made a public appearance since andrealphus took over. Not even a sinstagram post.

Those are just my thoughts though.

Also, very scared for the stolitz were gonna get in sinsmas. I know we got fed this episode, and while they did mean their words and actions, all of this was fueled by the adrenaline and fear of losing eachother forever. We have no idea how much they have reconciled from the events in full moon and apology tour, and we dont know the extent of that possible reconciliation. Because I know for hell they have NOT had a healthy conversation about what happened, nor do i think they will, for some time at least.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk, I guess

#lazagna yapping #Helluva boss #Mastermind #Sinsmas #helluva boss s2 #helluva boss mastermind #Blitzo #Blitzo hb #Stolas #Stolas hb #Octavia #Octavia hb #Andrealphus #Andrealphus hb #Analysis #I guess?#Stolitz #helluva boss analysis

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starry-bi-sky · 1 year ago

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honestly your dpxdc clone au gives me life, its adorable as all hell and im a sucker for found family but with that being said, its so freaking hysterical to me that Danny is going full feral liminal menace at Wes any time hes near and Wes himself is still 100% into it the freak (affectionate) and thats not even pointing out the paralles it could possible create since danny and dames gives massive parallels to dick and damian and dick does have a thing for redheads.

yeesSSSSS! I was planning on hoarding this to myself but i can't not reply. and i'll be able to find this again with the clone^2 tag so win WIN. i'm so glad you are as delighted by this as me. It's so hilarious to me that Danny just becomes a complete freak whenever he spots Wes, and I'm the one who wrote it into existence. Like- like i don't know how to explain my vision in words but like, its like Danny sees Wes and immediately goes 'what can I do to make his day worse'. And then he goes and does it.

(honorary read more because i talk a lot)

He's relatively normal around his friends too, which makes him going full-fledged unhinged around Wes even funnier to me. Like, Danny will spout weird shit sometimes to Sam and Tucker, but usually its prefaced with him talking about patrol or there would be context before he said anything. With Wes? Though?? he will just. say anything, completely unprompted. Slings an arm around his shoulder like they've been buddies since primary school and then spits out a weird new fun fact he learned about the bodily anatomy while researching his latest cold case. All vaguely-threatening but utterly insane things to say as way to start a conversation.

And sometimes its not even that, he'll walk up to Wes and ask him if he saw the latest daytime fight between Phantom and Skulker. And then he'll say "yeah i missed it myself but I saw clips of it being posted online" and then watch Wes mentally explode him with his mind. or he'll disparage Phantom for having such a young partner with him, "Can you believe he'd let a kid fight ghosts with him? I'd never let my brother ghosthunt with me if I was Phantom."

All of this with such a deceptive look on his face but the most delighted, shit-eating gleam in his eyes. Wes is chewing glass and he wants to yell that he does let his brother fight ghosts with him. Also you told him yourself that nothing would've stopped your demonic (Wes' words) little brother from joining you.

Damian gets in on the fuckery occasionally, but since he's not around often with Wes about, it doesn't happen nearly as often as it does between Wes and Danny. Sam and Tucker know he's screwing with him too, and both of them are a little wary about him being careless with his secret id. But he's been doing this since he was 14-ish and it hasn't backfired yet. So. They're not actively stopping him.

Danny walks back to his lunch table after terrorizing Wes and Tucker just asks him what he said, because Wes was about as red as a tomato when he walked away. Danny offhandedly sighs and innocently says he tried to have a conversation about Phantom with him. Wes didn't seem to like it all that much. Weird.

And yes, yes. Wes is totally into it and is slightly enraged about this fact, because not even he knows why he's into it. The freak (affectionate). Danny gives him this troublemaker smirk, and i did say smirk, and Wes doesn't know whether or not if he wants to smack him or kiss him. Or both. Like, yeah, pine, white boy, pine.

(And this is a dramatized image but I'm also highly entertained by the idea that Wes keeps getting routine dirty looks from various peers because they, too, have a crush on Fenton. Except Fenton doesn't talk to anyone else unless its his friends and sometimes Valerie, and Weston, the guy who keeps accusing him of being the local vigilante, is somehow routinely having conversations with him?? And BLOWING IT?? Like everyone else thinks he's fumbling so bad, and yet fenton keeps tALKING to him.)

And yes!! i'm always so pleased whenever someone brings up the parallels D+D have to Dick and Damian, because that was lowkey my intention when I was making the solo clone damian au. Although it was supposed to be more implied since I don't really know much about Damian and Dick other than they're very close and Dick was Damian's Batman for a year. And then of course the very smaller parallel (??) 'what if' between Bruce and Damian and D+D in clone^2 considering who they are both clones of.

And man this just makes me want to talk about when batfam meet D+D because I just want them to see D+D be so brotherly towards each other. Like I want them to see Bby Dames wearing his goofy fun fact shirts and stealing Danny's hoodies/flannels/etc and blatantly lying about it when Danny asks. Only for Danny to then throw him over his shoulder like Tadashi from BH3 and jump around.

And also. I do not know what Damian Wayne's (DW as I'll call him) stance on being called "Dami" is - the general consensus I've seen is that its usually used as a playful nickname in order to get a rise out of him, and he doesn't really like it.

But baby Dames being called that freely, and often, and its sometimes used to get a rise out of him but thats typically what nicknames do. Its used as easily as his full name is with the same amount of affection. And its like his main go-to nickname. "Dami" and "Dames" with the occasional "Bud/Buddy", "Squirt", "Little man", etc. Not once is he ever called 'demon-spawn'

(which i know is a fanon nickname but its a relatively popular nickname)

but yeah, uhhh. i think thats all of my thoughts on the matter. for now lmAO

#danny fenton is not the ghost king #clone^2 #i use 'like' so much its not even funny jhdf but it just puts an emphasis on the sentence #honorary read more tag bc damn i talk a lot #i should make a post about danny's relationship with red huntress in the clone^2 au because i like to imagine that's different too #anyways danny and wes' dynamic in clone^2 brings me a lot of joy. they get stuck in a room together and danny gets the biggest grin ever #and wes stares at him before going completely deadpan 'im in hell'. he's being dramatic and only slightly for real.#also im not sure WHAT damian does - honestly the most extreme thing i can think of is him breaking into wes' house and threatening him #but wes has called him danny's 'demonic little brother' ever since. sOMEbody has to give him his 'demon' nickname its just not gonna be #danny or jazz who do it. anyways damian fully supports messing with wes and anyone else who has a crush on danny

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peonycats · 1 year ago

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You might have noticed that i havent been posting art that much recently, which has been caused by a variety of reasons, but one of which is that I've been hunkered down and working on this series about my Siberian OCs!!! Really proud of how these turned out, esp the embroidery and patterns, even if i did fry my hand a bit in the process LOL

Click the read more for icons and personality descriptions written by @irithnova, who I share many of these OCs with :3c

Yukagir: Resident old lady surrounded by (who she sometimes considers annoying) youngins, sweet demeanour and pleasant to talk to, though she isn't immune to giving a good scolding when a younger Siberian is annoying her. Lots of knowledge from her many years when it comes to practical stuff so is good with her hands, though she finds other things difficult to remember… Sakha: Approachable and outgoing, hardheaded and unafraid to speak his mind. Big organiser of events and knows who everyone is - is always trying to extend his reach, even outside of Siberia. Smokes like there's no tomorrow. Was kind of a menace in his youth - his neighbours don't let him forget. Is artistic at heart, has sketchbooks full of illustrations and is pretty crafty. Saul Goodman who? Evenia: Easy going but usually keeps to himself, often mistaken for Evenkia much to his chagrin. Somewhat playful, loves some good banter. Excellent storyteller and has a million random tips and tricks stored in his head. Sporty, loves to challenge people to a race.

Dolgan: Similar to Sakha, she is also hard headed and unafraid to speak her mind, seeing as he raised her. Very studious and serious about her research, calculative about a lot of her actions. Seems timid on the surface because of her appearance, but she's managed to wield a lot of influence. Usually decked out in pretty clothing and jewellery from Sakha. Evenkia: Likes to take on a mentor role to those younger than him, like he did with Sakha. Very knowledgeable and enjoys problem solving. Has a bit of a reputation for dumping children of his onto others, though you would never guess this through his appearance alone. Enjoys collecting things, nerdy. Ket: Serious faced mostly and protective of himself, quite reserved, so it means a lot when he lets his guard down. Very particular about his routines, though this has made him quite good at planning and organising. Caught up in his own thoughts a lot - makes sense seeing as he's the last survivor of the Yenisein family.

Chukotka: Social butterfly and very outgoing. Likes to be sort of a big sister figure to people, including North American groups. May seem scatterbrained and silly on the surface but she is far more clever than she lets on. Very girly and bubbly, wears jewellery that jingles as she walks past. Koryak: "Sibling" of Chukotka but personality wise he's quite different - he takes himself a bit more seriously. Dry sense of humour, and like Ket, he can be pretty sarcastic. Has a reputation of being a troublemaker (blame Russia for that), he's really not though. Being somewhat strung up is unfortunately his default these days. Itelmen: Woman respecter™ (no seriously look up the Itelmens' original polytheistic religion). Invites the other Siberians to his celebrations and is a pretty good host, but is prone to being possessive over them (as in, he wants to remind them that this is HIS tradition so don't try and claim it 🙄). Also prone to unprompted malding. His hair is well styled and maintained, though he pretends like he does nothing to it so as to not give up his secrets.

BONUS:

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takuyakistall · 1 year ago

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brewing mishaps

Ace found a book containing recipes for potions. How far will curiosity get him? — Pomefiore!Ace x Reader

Note: hi.... hello........ (dusts off cobwebs) this is kinda embarrassing posting again after i said i wld no longer post 🙈

Ace had always known that Pomefiore offered a wide array of potion recipes hidden away in thick tomes that collected dust in shelves. It wasn't forbidden to browse through them, of course, it was already a given that dangerous mixes were stored away safely and away from students.

Which is why Ace was a little baffled, a little confused, as to why there was a recipe for a potion that supposedly alters one's feelings "permanently". He wondered why the text had quotation marks but quickly shook his head as he continued to gloss over the pages.

The ink was fading, he could barely make out some words or whole paragraphs. Frustration threatened to shut the book closed and shove it back to its place in the shelf until his eyes caught a few words that read: This potion... Works... Love...

"Ha?"

Hold on, isn't that basically saying this is a love potion? Permanent effects too?? Isn't that seriously bad???

The thought of asking Vil came across his mind but he shooed the thought away when he promptly put back the book in its original spot on the shelf. He shouldn't try and dabble in this sort of thing...

—or so he thought. He wanted to find out the reason why he was in the greenhouse, looking for potion ingredients.

"Get away from me." Oh, the look on his face was priceless. He was under the assumption that the potion he threw together haphazardly would work as intended. The small vial that was supposed to work as a love potion did the exact opposite—Wait, wait, wait. What's going on?

Vil called him an idiot. He was under the impression that Ace knew better than to follow a recipe for a potion whose description could be barely read with the ink fading away. He managed to exceed his expectations in the worst way and now he was facing the consequences of picking the forbidden fruit that granted him knowledge. Now that he took a bite, he was cast away.

It was curious; how far would he go to be welcomed back? It was simple. Constant begging got him somewhere with Vil who was tired and sick from his junior tailing him around the corridors and even went as far as to enter his room unprompted. Needless to say, one way to get Ace off his back was to appease him.

"Huh," was all Ace could respond with when Vil gave him the remedy.

"Don't give me that blank look? Were you expecting something awfully romantic like a true love's kiss will wake them from the spell?" Vil's tone was sharp, mostly because he was at his limit dealing with his antics. "There is no such thing as a potion with permanent effects that is out in the open in the dormitory. It was most likely vandalized."

"So you're telling me that the best I can do is wait for it to wear off?" Ace tilted his head, a little doubtful of his dorm leader's words. "Are you sure? Cause it's gonna hurt a lot if it ends up being permanent."

"It's the consequences of your actions. Deal with it. I trust that you'll know better than to make your friend drink a potion in the future."

"Yes, yes..."

Frankly, Ace didn't buy it. It was his tendency to overthink that led him to approaching you once more with his usual smile on his face, waving at you mischievously as if nothing changed between the two of you.

"Yo! What's up?"

"Ha? I told you to get away from me before." Your reply was ice cold. Ace faltered a little but he made sure to cover it up quickly with another comment.

"Aww, c'mon, don't be like that! We're best buddies, aren't we?" He tried to wrap his hand around your neck but was pushed away swiftly. "You can't seriously hate me forever because of some potion."

"Isn't this your fault?"

"Geh... Nevermind that. I just wanna focus on getting you back to normal."

"This is the new normal. Get used to it."

"Nuh-uh. Vil told me that the effects would wear off eventually so maybe talking to you like this would speed up the process." Ace grinned, clearly trying his best to look unfazed. "Maybe even doing the things we used to do would shake off the effects."

"No? I really don't want to talk to you right now. This is a waste of time— Woah!?" Getting pulled by the arm was certainly one way to bring you back closer. Ace wanted to get this over as quickly as possible and he would go to such lengths to ensure that it would happen. If this doesn't work, then he'll have to march up to Vil again and beg for another remedy.

"Prepare yourself! We're gonna do every single thing we used to do!"

#me when i said i wld no longer post but then get hit by sudden insanium #hi guys... HAHAHAHAHA #twst #twisted wonderland #twst writing #twisted wonderland x reader #ace trappola x reader #twisted wonderland ace #ace x reader #ace #ace trappola

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sapphire-weapon · 1 year ago

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Resident Evil 4 Remake's story is structured like the plot of a romance novel: master post

A few months ago, I wrote up a very quick and dirty outline/explanation of how Resident Evil 4 Remake's story had been restructured from the original game to follow the story beats of a romance novel. At the time, I didn't think it was all that important to explain it super in-depth, but now that more and more people are looking at it, I figured I should probably explain what I mean with each of these beats lmao

1) Call to Adventure / The Meet Cute

All that a meet-cute actually is is the scene in which the characters that the romance is centered around meet for the first time. The intention is to show an initial spark between the characters -- they meet under bizarre/unexpected circumstances and, at some point, both characters become aware of just how significant it is, even if neither says anything about it.

Leon and Ashley's meet-cute starts with her swinging a candelabra at his head and ends with Leon holding her in his arms out in the rain for a period of time that is absolutely too long to be normal for the circumstance. They lock eyes in this moment, and it's meant to be seen as Significant.

2) Refusal of the Call / Rejection of the Relationship

This is the "I'm just imagining things" reaction to the significance of the meet-cute. Both characters treat the spark as though it never happened -- and, usually, it's because there's other external factors influencing their ability or willingness to follow the trail of that spark and see where it goes. Instead of going "Hey, you're cute, can I get your number?" both characters just jump straight to "Well, anyway --" and go back to living their own independent lives apart from each other.

After they both snap out of that weird trance they were in after Leon caught Ashley out the window of the church, he goes right back to treating her like a mission objective, and she just has absolutely no idea what to make of him at all. Ashley spends the next few sections of gameplay in shock and disbelief with lines like "Seriously, this cannot be happening." and "I just wanna go home..." Leon ignores all of her complaints, keeps her moving even when she asks for a break, and doesn't really speak much to her at all other than to bark orders at her.

3) Acceptance of the Quest / Giving the relationship a chance

Something Happens that forces both characters back into each other's lives and/or personal attention, and they both find that they do Like each other, actually -- even if that feeling of "like" isn't anything super significant. It could be something as simple as realizing that they enjoy the other's company and wanting to see/talk to the other more often.

This arguably starts when Leon and Ashley first run into the cabin and Leon puts a comforting hand on her back that he absolutely did did not have to put there -- but it's definitely in full swing after the cabin sequence is over. Personally, I would say that it's the revelation about Ashley having a plaga in her that's the Something that Happens between them. The whole mission starts to become a whole lot more personal, because now it's not just about surviving and escaping -- now it's about making sure that Ashley stays Ashley.

She starts to open up to him more, and he suddenly becomes much warmer towards her, as well. He's quick to reassure her ("I won't let that happen. I promise.") and not only responds to her when she talks, but also begins talking to her unprompted as well.

This is also the first time Leon ever tries hitting on Ashley with the "Seems this isn't your first time running from creeps" line, and it fails spectacularly.

4) Trials and Temptations / Three Dates

This one is probably the one that needed the most explaining LMAO I shouldn't have let this one go. The "three dates" don't have to/usually aren't meant to be actual, literal dates in romance novels. They're just three significant events that happen between the couple that builds and then reinforces their bond. (It also doesn't necessarily have to be three -- some stories only do two, some do five, etc. The point is that Things Are Happening that strengthen the relationship.)

That is why I said that their three "dates" are:

1) Ashley busting the window open after the Mendez boss fight, helping brush the embers off of Leon, and helping to pull him to his feet. This is the first time the two of them actually smile at each other and the first time they start to act as a team.

2) Salazar's introduction ("The girl's just fine. With me."). Leon wants so badly to be that cool guy in an 80s movie who shows up out of nowhere and puts his arm around a beautiful girl and looks at some dickhead harassing her and goes "This guy giving you a hard time, babe?" This is the closest he's ever gotten to and will ever get to being that in his life. He's not cool enough to ever actually be that guy for real.

3) The road to the Water Hall (Leon jumping across the chandeliers + this is the first time the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated) (You could also include the Garrador here, because if you take Ashley down there after the fact, there's special dialogue that happens that's... God, Leon sucks at this whole flirting thing. He just sucks, dude.)

5) Midpoint Crisis / I-need-you-but-can’t-have-you

Everything is going so well... until it isn't anymore. The three dates have given the couple a glimpse of how special and important this relationship could be, which is great -- until it becomes a problem. One of the characters gets freaked out by the intensity of the relationship and pulls back out of fear, because there's something else happening in their life that's bigger than either character and more important to be addressed.

In Leon and Ashley's case, it's Ashley's plaga. Saddler takes control of her briefly and gets a hold of Leon's knife, stabs him, and then threatens to cut her own throat. When his hold over her breaks, she's terrified. She needs Leon now more than ever because of this, but she's more afraid of hurting him than losing herself, so she runs away from him in tears.

6) The Road Back / Pulling Back Together

Basically, the plot forces the couple back together, and -- due to the raw, open vulnerability caused by the Midpoint Crisis -- their bond is stronger than ever. The feelings change from "yeah, I like them" to "I want them." Real intimacy starts to form and build here, because the interest in and attraction to each other is allowed by both characters to be acknowledged. This is usually where the sexual tension starts to really kick into high gear, and the audience is just waiting for that moment when it all breaks open.

This starts with the pep talk that Leon gives Ashley when he finds her again -- which is romantically framed and coded with its imagery and cinematography. It continues through the entire Grand Hall segment, which includes the moment in the game in which Leon is at his boldest in terms of expressing his attraction to her. This is the point in the game in which their relationship is at its most playful. They tease each other and flirt and pass compliments back and forth -- and, for a while, it feels like the two of them are unstoppable and able to take on the world together.

7) The Fall

"The fall" is the shortened version of "The moment they actually fall in love." It's the "oh god, I think I love them" moment. The two characters do not necessarily have to admit to each other that they've experienced "the fall" -- and usually, at least one of them doesn't. But they both experience that moment where it hits them.

We see Ashley "fall" at the start of her gameplay segment, where she takes Leon's earlier words to heart and draws strength from them. ("I won't run. Wait for me, Leon.") He's inspired her to strive to be more than she is, and she embraces the way that he makes her feel, in that moment.

We see Leon "fall" as soon as he catches the key that she tosses down to him. He looks up at her with stars in his eyes and offers to catch her if she jumps down. An interesting detail to note is that this is the first and one of the only times in RE4make that Nick Apostolides reverts to using the tone/voice that he used for Leon in RE2make. It's soft and sweet and gentle as he makes her an offer that has no reason to be made, just for the sake of getting to hold her in his arms again.

And, in order to drive home the point, this all happens during a scene that was framed, shot, and directed to mirror/mimic the balcony scene in Romeo & Juliet.

8) Dark moment / The Break Up

Once again, Something Happens and comes between them -- and this one is way, way worse than the Midpoint Crisis. This isn't "I'm scared to be with you" -- it's "I can't be with you." Hope for the relationship is completely lost, and both characters become overwhelmed in their individual despair.

Verdugo breaks them up physically -- not once, but twice. And that second time involves Leon being forced to watch Ashley endure Salazar's weird "ritual" and be unable to stop it or do anything to help her. He just has to sit with that failure and suffer through it until he's literally thrown away and discarded while Ashley screams his name.

When Leon finally finds Ashley again, we see him confront the one moment in the game when he honestly, truly loses hope. He sits down on the floor at Ashley's bedside, and there's nothing more that he can do than wait for her to wake up. Some part of him has already become convinced that they won't make it out of there alive -- not both of them, at least. Not together. And he's ready to commit suicide as a contingency plan.

9) The Sacrifice

This is the "do or die" moment for the relationship in a romance novel. This is the moment where the decision is made to confront not just the external force keeping them apart, but also the internal flaws that are feeding into that avoidant urge. The couple decides that their desire to be together is stronger and more important than whatever fear or force is holding them back, and though it's terrifying to do it, they stand up for the relationship in the face of opposition.

In RE4make, we see this play out through the sequence in which Leon carries Ashley to Luis's lab and how the two of them, against all physical and mental odds, manage to remove each other's plagas. This is especially emotionally significant for Leon, who says the words out loud: "This time, it has to be different..." He's openly acknowledging that his trauma from Raccoon City is what made him so ready to pull the trigger on himself back in that holding cell. Here, now, he puts his foot down, confronts that trauma, and says "No. I have to beat this."

And he does, even at great physical cost to himself. But the sacrifice was worth it, because it was for her.

10) Declaration

In a very literal sense, it's the declaration of love. It's an outward, spoken confirmation of the bond they share, now that the trial from the Sacrifice has been overcome. Traditionally in romance novels, this happens with the actual words "I love you."

But RE4make isn't a traditional romance novel, and Capcom has an entire fanbase of angry nerds who take fictional relationships too seriously to navigate through. So, instead of an explicit "I love you" what we got instead was an explicit verbal confirmation of their bonded status as a team.

"Hey... We're a team, right?"

"Keep this up? I'll be out of a job."

11) The HEA

"HEA" stands for "Happily ever after."

While I could (and did) say that Leon and Ashley literally ride off into the sunrise together, that does feel disingenuous. Even though it's true and the imagery is there, they don't really have a happily ever after. Not really. This is the only part that's missing from RE4make.

And that's because RE4make isn't just a romance on its own -- it's a fairy tale set inside of a story that's self-aware and knows that fairy tales aren't real. And so both Leon and Ashley wake up from this shared dream of a romance they've been having, as reluctantly as they do, because it's time for them to come back to reality.

Fairy tales aren't real. Romance novels aren't real.

Their feelings are real. But life doesn't work that way. Not for them.

They may not have a happily ever after, but they do have this moment to be together -- and for them, it's enough.

Because it has to be.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #eagleone #meta analysis #THIS TOOK ME AN EMBARRASSINGLY LONG TIME TO WRITE #i thought i'd just whip this up real fast after work #BRO SHIT TOOK ME LIKE FOUR HOURS NO FOOLIES #mostly because i had to take all my fantasy mods off and then go back and re-cap all of these scenes with the defaults on #pain in my ass #so i hope ppl fuckin appreciate this!!!!#the next time someone asks you why/how eagleone is canon #just light this son of a bitch on fire and throw it at their head

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endykelopaedia · 1 month ago

Note

I didn't say gender works separately from race, just differently. As I said, a White person is always White and a PoC is always a PoC, and that's a binary under White supremacy. People hate trans women and trans men for the same reason, they're doing the same thing, i.e. rejecting their AGAB. The cishetpatriarchy thus does not extend anything like the same benefits to trans men because of that. You being a man is therefore not equivalent to me being White. That doesn't preclude race and gender interacting.

NGL, I feel like it was a bit generous of me to apologize for saying something I believe is racist is racist just because the person who said it turned out to not be White. Like you can say it was "only" about male privilege but you were in fact mocking people who bring up their other marginalizations in this discussion. And the reason I bring up that as being generous is because I have to wonder if there's a contrast between that and me being called a transmisogynistic crypto-TERF by a trans man. Like maybe I shouldn't have apologized and it is actually okay to do that? You still seem really offended by it but I don't see why you would if it's valid to make accusations like that. Is it less valid to, without even intending to, accuse a Black person of enacting racism than it is to intentionally accuse a trans woman of enacting transmisogyny? Not even just "enacting transmisogyny," specifically calling me TERF-y and insinuating the words I use for myself make me less of a trans woman, or less a victim of transmisogyny.

I'm also annoyed that you seem pretty intent on taking what I say about the cishetpatriarchal view as being what I believe, which is a really common tactic I see around here usually about how non-transfems discussing being seen as their AGAB is essentially the same as misgendering trans women.

I guess maybe mentally revise my first ask to having just said "I didn't know you were Black and do not particularly care, I deleted it for other reasons."

to be clear; when i said "only a white woman could think white privilege and gendered oppression are completely separate" i meant that only a white woman could think that white supremacy and patriarchy are somehow any more separate than cisgender supremacy and patriarchy. theres nothing about your logic that another white queer couldnt use to say they dont really have white privilege (which ive noticed a lot of people in your movement TEND TO DO) the same way you insist us trans men cant really have male privilege.

but again. i dont think you really believe that theyre not deeply connected anyway. bc why would you then invoke the existence of black trans men unprompted? and it was unprompted. my post didnt bring up black people in any capacity. it was about male privilege. and how men use their other oppressions to pretend they dont have it. which i mocked them for. bc that's stupid.

idk what a crypto-TERF is or what thought terminating cliché it provides for you but im gonna be very clear that you saying "Nonono, I fully believe that youre a man i just dont think wider society ever will or treat you like one, and i base my politics off of this" is not somehow a better or more-supportive-than-TERFS position to have.

i dont really care for your apologies because i know they ring hollow. if you still believe what i said was racist against again, MYSELF. you really only were being deferential to my blackness and you havent actually listened to me. a lot of white people like to pretend theyve done such a good job at protecting black people by invoking us to argue with other white people (like you assumed i was) as "activism" and you are nooooo different. you say you dont care that im black but your "actions" (arguments on the internet) dont reflect that.

i will apologise for one thing though, i never meant to imply that you were somehow less of a woman or don't experience transmisogyny for how you identify. fucked up of me. and the fact i aint a he/him female isnt relevant to that.

really, what i shouldve said is that i know that you've self admitted to being isolated from a lot of other transfems who talk about transmisogyny on here specifically bc of your beliefs. and youre also quite infamous for it. which doesnt mean you dont have a valuable thought in that head of yours but it does mean i'm more inclined to listen to women who arent you on the subject.

#anyway this is the last post im gonna make abt transandrophobia probably #because just like the original MRA movement yall have no plans of action outside being insufferable online #im going to find a 5th trans guy to give T to in the mean time #and im gonna ally myself w women in more real ways than this lol #transandrophobia #.aks

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queenimmadolla · 2 years ago

Text

𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀

(eddie munson x secret admirer!reader)

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 Summary: After four long years of pining, it's high time you tell your crush you like him and quite possibly your last chance to, luckily there's no better time for love confessions than Valentine's Day. If only you hadn't chosen to do so anonymously, because you're pretty sure he's hoping his secret admirer is someone else.

Warnings: pining, angst, misunderstandings, very brief (blink and you miss it) descriptions of oncoming panic attack (doesn't happen), Heather Holloway being a sweetie, and a whole lot of fluff a/n: I did way too much for something that was supposed to be 2.k word count wise, and is definitely going to flop because of how late I'm posting it but I don't care because it is still technically Valentine's Day. A HUGE thank you to @kitmon for being my incredible beta-half (get it?) and if you like slow burns (and I mean the best ‘GET TOGETHER ALREADY but also please take your time really finding and understanding each other’ fics), go devour their masterlist. Happy reading and Happy Valentine's day ♡ word count: 10k

You stood posted by a row of lockers, peaking around the corner of the hall to watch as the longtime object of your affections laughed at something one of his friends said.

“Are you stalking him again?”

You jumped, clutching your biology book to your chest as you swiveled around to face Heather, your best friend.

“Geez!” You hissed out, voice low as you checked to make sure you hadn’t attracted his attention.

“I’m not stalking him,” you grumbled and Heather giggled. “I’m just observing him.”

“Well, stop observing him and go talk to him.” She nudged your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile.

Heather coughed out a stalking, followed by another cough, all of which you ignored.

“No more quietly pining, I’m telling him how I feel.”

Heather raised her eyebrows, tongue clicking.

“Let me get this straight, you’re not only going to actually exchange words with him, you’re actually going to tell Eddie Munson about your feelings?”

Your heart fluttered just at the mention of him.

Edward Wayne Munson. Eddie.

You’d had a crush on him since your freshman year of high school, and contrary to your best friend’s earlier statement, you had exchanged words with him already. Sorta. Basically.

Then last year he’d held the cafeteria door open for you and your friends when you slipped in. That time, you’d been the one to thank him and he had said you’re welcome. Almost unprompted!

So, yeah. Maybe you were a little delusional, it didn’t matter though. What mattered was you were running out of time.

You had nothing to lose, so today was gonna be the day.

“Yes,” you took a deep breath, slowly exhaling as the determination sank deep into your bones. “I’m gonna tell him.”

“How are you gonna do that?” She cocked her head, the curls of her side ponytail bouncing.

Her face wrinkled up in confusion, “You bought yourself flowers again?”

“No.” You glared at her, a hand scratching your head as you hissed out through gritted teeth, “And we promised not to bring that up anymore—these are for Eddie.”

Heather perked up at that, a hand resting over her chest as she fawned, “Dude, that is so cute! When are you gonna give them to him?”

“That’s the thing, I’m not actually going to give them to him directly. I need your help. You’ve got history with him, yeah?”

You already knew she did so it didn’t surprise you when she nodded. You slipped one rose from the bouquet and handed it to her.

“Can you leave this on his desk?”

“Sure! Wow, I can’t believe I get to be part of your love story,” she marveled, twirling the stem between her fingertips.

God, you hoped it’d be a love story and not a tragedy.

“And these are for you.” You pulled out a smaller bouquet of pink roses, and Heather just about burst into tears.

“Dude,” Heather yanked you in for a hug, squeezing you to the point you thought your ribs might be bruised.

“Uhm. Heather. Ow.”

“Oh, sorry.” She released you, holding you by your shoulders, “Okay, so I just give it to him?”

“No, no, no, no, no. There will be no interactions. Just leave it on his desk.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”

You reluctantly made your way to your first period, plagued by thoughts of Eddie’s reaction to the first rose.

Would he like it? Oh, you hoped he liked it.

What if he thought it was some prank? What if he threw it away? Would he do the same to the rest?

Oh, well. There was no backing out now.

During lunch, you found yourself behind the stage of the cafeteria, in part of the drama department. It’s where Hellfire took place.

You made your way over to sit in the chair closest to his throne, casting it a couple of nervous glances.

The thought made your stomach hurt, a large void beginning to form there.

Yeah, simple as that.

You clicked the pen in your grasp, placing it just over the paper.

You wavered, licking your lips as you tried to convince yourself to just own your goddamn name. That’s all you had to do. Write on the paper.

Just write on the paper.

Your hand was beginning to shake, and with a heavy heart, you realized your name wouldn’t be going on this note.

—

Eddie was at a loss, completely stupefied.

He glanced around again in vain, hoping someone would somehow stick out and when no one did, he held it in his grasp, rough fingertips stroking over the soft petals for the duration of the class.

Yeah, fuckers. Someone finally liked him. Eat shit.

He’d been sure it was a drunken mistake but sometimes, he’d catch her staring at him, and she didn’t look all that disgusted with him.

The last name on the short list was that of Tammy Thompson. She had made her interest in Eddie pretty clear his junior year, always trying to sit behind him in classes so she could play with his hair. Unfortunately, Tammy was very, for the lack of better words, aggressive with her affections. He’d made out with her once and it had been sloppy and messy in the most unattractive of ways. It was like tonguing a dog.. Then he remembered she’d actually been able to graduate, unlike him, so he was spared.

He and his lunchbox full of drugs—and some snacks—made their way to the Hellfire lunch table where he spent a significant amount of time studying the two girls.

“Uh, are you okay, Eddie?”

“Yeah, I’m fine—what are those?” Eddie asked, eyes honed in on the roses resting on Will’s tray.

The younger teen handed them over, “A girl told me to give you these.”

Eddie felt his heart skip a beat, “You know who she is?”

Will nodded and before Eddie could demand a name, he rushed, “I’ve been sworn to secrecy!”

Eddie scowled, carefully setting aside his roses so they wouldn’t be involved in his annoyance.

Will knew what it was like to have that special person interested in someone else, too. So, he’d protect your secret.

“I swore.”

Eddie groaned, head dipping forward in a brief moment of defeat before he slammed his fist on the table, making the other occupants jump.

Will shakes his head, nose wrinkling. Nothing against her, she just wasn’t the nicest to him or his friends. Not the meanest, still.

──

Your heart was racing a mile a minute, having witnessed everything transpire at the Hellfire table.

Eddie hadn’t seemed too happy about that.

Then he stormed out and you fought very hard with yourself to not follow after him because then Heather would be right and you’d be a stalker.

“Regret it yet?” Heather asked after she’d swallowed a bite of her sandwich.

“Sure,” Heather drawled, glancing over her shoulder as you picked at your food, appetite suddenly gone.

Maybe you really should have written your name on that love note.

After the first time you’d spied on them, the two of you had gone back to your home where Heather held a mock funeral for you. Now, you wished it had been a real one because you were sure Eddie had not only loved your roses, he also assumed they were from Chrissy. They would send him right into her arms at that shitty ass bench. And when he’d get a hold of the love note, well, you’d be the reason why Eddie and Chrissy would be hand in hand come Monday, canoodling by their lockers and kissing like no one else was watching. All the things Eddie should have been doing with you.

You should have signed your name on the fucking note.

─

Eddie had paced a pathway, disturbing the mounds of fallen leaves surrounding the picnic table.

His stuff, another rose he’d found waiting for him included, were on the table and he’d taken off his jacket, despite the chill of the February air. He was working himself up in his head, overheating in the process.

“Eddie?”

His head shot around, grinning as Chrissy—who apparently left him roses—approached him, face broken out in a smile.

“Hey, Chris.” Eddie’s heart was racing a mile a minute, palms sweaty as he rested them over his hips, then quickly realized he looked stupid so he crossed them instead.

“On the house.”

“Eddie, it’s always on the house. I feel bad.”

“Then stop.” He emphasized the demand with bulging eyes, smirking when she giggled. She had to like him, right?

Chrissy was too busy moving things aside in her backpack to make room for the baggy. When she finally did look back up, she smiled, but gave no hint she was even familiar with them.

“Ooh, pretty flowers. Where’d you get those?”

Was she playing coy?

“Uh, someone’s been leaving them for me all around school.” Was it you?

Chrissy’s face lit up and Eddie thought it was finally the moment of truth.

“That’s so sweet! Do you know who it is? Or is it like a secret admirer sort of deal?”

“I actually have no idea who it is,” he sighed out, hoping if it was her, she’d just put him out of his damn misery already.

Chrissy, glanced down at the table and Eddie perked up. Nerves? Was she finally gonna come out with it?